Pre-Show
MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.
ALL: (discordant yelling) We play Dungeons & Dragons!
MATT: Yep. Before we jump into tonight's episode, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with the first of our sponsors of the evening, NordVPN. Travis?
TRAVIS: (panting) Field testing the gonkulator, caps lock, caps unlock, caps lock and key, caps Loch Ness monster. (shouts) I'm sliced. (panting)
TALIESIN: Again.
TRAVIS: (panting) I can't do it.
TALIESIN: Again!
TRAVIS: I said I can't, Morpheus! I know this is just training, but that was a QuadCore, C-quest cipher! My Suddenly Susan protocols won't budge it.
TALIESIN: Your haxxor name is Number Two, but that does not forgive a shitty attitude. You must be ready, there is great danger--
TRAVIS: I know, great danger coming, I know. But how will I be l33t enough to stop it?
TALIESIN: Observe.
TRAVIS: Whoa! Whoa, but you have a power glove, master. I use my bare hands.
TALIESIN: Negatronic. You jack in with the strength of NordVPN, providers of the highest quality encryption for internet traffic. And it hides your IP and physical location. Available on every major platform, including Windows, iOS, Android, and Linux. Go to NordVPN.com/criticalrole or use code criticalrole to get a two year plan plus one additional month at a discount.
TRAVIS: Master, you already taught me that with 5,400 servers in 59 countries, it's easier to get better internet speed and protection with one click.
TALIESIN: So what is it that's holding you back?
TRAVIS: I don't know.
TALIESIN: Say it.
TRAVIS: I don't know!
TALIESIN: Say it!
TRAVIS: I'm scared, okay? I'm scared of becoming a gleaming cube of cake like BlackWillow69@aol.com.
TALIESIN: Good.
TRAVIS: What?
TALIESIN: The two greatest forces of computing are fear and love. BlackWillow knew it. So did the Ultra Kodex. Use that fear, wire it into your synapses and reboot it into love. Turn ones and zeros into sixes and nines.
ASHLEY: Ooh.
LIAM: Nice.
TRAVIS: I'll try, master. (breathing heavily) Ooh.
TALIESIN: Now, focus on Liam's camera feed, seduce the encryption, hug the code.
TRAVIS: Oh yeah, I can feel it.
TALIESIN: Now, stick your thing in, flip it, and reverse it with love. (laughter)
LIAM: Oh shit, my water! Wait, why is nothing else on my table falling?
TRAVIS: Because I love you so damn much!
TALIESIN: Positronic! Next, Ashley and Marisha. Change their positions with your romantic hacking.
ASHLEY: Ow!
MARISHA: Oh god!
ASHLEY: What the heck, ow.
TRAVIS: I'm doing it! I'm sorry, Ashley and Marisha, I'm still new at this.
MARISHA: No, it's okay, I guess.
TALIESIN: Perfect strangers. Now do Laura.
TRAVIS: Wait, no, what if I hurt her?
TALIESIN: You're scared, so harness that fear into your magnificent hacker deltoids. Let it course through those l33t haptic biceps and flex it to become--
TRAVIS: Love! I did it! I hacked it with the power of love!
LAURA: Wow, that was amazing.
TRAVIS: Yeah, because I'm the only man you've ever loved, right?
LAURA: Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.
TALIESIN: Today, you have truly earned the name "Number Two."
ALL: Whoa!
TRAVIS: Master, what was that?
TALIESIN: Oh, you'll find out... next time NordVPN sponsors this show. Matt, hack to you.
MATT: Wow. Thank you. This, I mean--
ASHLEY: What a bit.
MATT: Look out, Academy. (laughter)
MATT: Thank you, Travis.
TRAVIS: You're welcome.
MATT: And thank you, NordVPN, for enabling-- for enabling.
TRAVIS: Send a trophy to the POS box. (laughter)
MATT: Second sponsor for tonight--
LAURA: Did you say a POS box?
TRAVIS: A Piece of Shit box, yeah. (laughter)
TRAVIS: We got one of those.
MATT: Our second sponsor for tonight, our friends at Resolution Games. This episode, you'll hear about me talking about Resolution Games and the new tabletop virtual experience called Demeo, which is out now for the Oculus Quest platform and VR headsets on Steam, and coming shortly to the Oculus store and PC. Dark forces have taken over the underworld, and it is up to you and your band of warriors to come together to defeat this unrelenting evil. It's for up to four players, each assuming the roles of eagle-eyed hunter, mystical sorcerer, deadly assassin, or protective guardian in a classic fantasy RPG experience all in VR. This is a living game. So they have a long content map plan to ensure players have a steady supply of treasure and glory for years to come. So jump in now and check everything out at bit.ly, bit.ly/crdemeo, D-E-M-E-O. And thank you so much for supporting the show, guys. And of course, our friends at D&D Beyond.
ALL: ♪ D&D Beyond ♪
MATT: For all of campaign two, fantastic online digital toolset for your D&D games, whether you're a player or DM, it's awesome. You keep track of initiative and monsters and dice rolls for the creatures, hit points, all the fun stuff. They have an early access feature available to subscribers. Now for the real time combat tracker, you can learn more at dndbeyond.link/combat. All right, and thank you all so much for joining us on our Twitch and YouTube channel. Join us, of course, at our official moderated chat, community chat at our Twitch channel, if you would like to do so, and--
MARISHA: More! More, talk more.
MATT: No, why?
TRAVIS: More talking!
MATT: I'm actually pretty excited about this. Now out from Darrington Press, Uk'otoa.
ALL: (whispering) Uk'otoa.
ASHLEY: Finally going to see it.
TRAVIS: Look at that fucking--
MATT: Super excited about this.
MARISHA: Look how gorgeous!
MATT: So pretty. It's available May 27th in the Critical Role shops in the Darrington Press Guild stores, and soon after, in your local friendly game stores across the US. It is a tactical board game, dealing with a semi-cooperative card play between factions of sailors that are vying to be the last claimed by the raging sea leviathan, Uk'otoa.
ALL: (whispering) Uk'otoa.
MATT: Uk'otoa ravages your ship, and as it falls apart, you must push, push, run, and sacrifice others to be the last one standing. It's awesome.
MARISHA: It's so fun.
MATT: And I hope you get a chance to check it out and enjoy it. For more details on Uk'otoa and other Darrington Press projects, visit darringtonpress.com.
ALL: (whispering) Uk'otoa. Darrington Press.
MATT: Marisha, you're up.
MARISHA: Oh yeah, that's me. The season finale of Narrative Telephone airs this Tuesday, May 18th at 4:00pm, with a story from our very special guest, Aabria Iyengar. (cheering)
MARISHA: It's super fun. It's so great. If you missed the stream, you can check out the VOD on YouTube on Thursday, May 20th. And this is the last one of this round. We'll-- I don't know, we'll do more later.
TRAVIS: At least we've gotten better as we go along. Definitely not gotten worse in any way.
MATT: Not at all.
SAM: It was just the same story, like, eight times.
TRAVIS: Yeah.
MARISHA: It's real boring; don't watch it.
SAM: Yep. (laughs) (laughter)
MARISHA: No, it's great. It's probably one of my favorite ones we've actually done. It's really fun.
MATT: Yeah, awesome. Thank you, Marisha. And Ashley?
ASHLEY: Oh hey, it's my turn. I brought my glasses this time. Hey, thank you so much for your support of our Critical Role Foundation fundraising campaign with 826LA, our wonderful friends over there. We love them so much. So since we're pre-recording the show, the best way to catch real-time fundraising updates is to follow us @CriticalRoleFDN on Facebook and Twitter. And to learn more about our campaign to build a writer's room for students at Venice High School here in Los Angeles, or to donate, head on over to criticalrolefoundation.org. (cheering)
LAURA: You called it, Ashley, that was real good.
MARISHA: It was really good!
ASHLEY: Listen.
TRAVIS: Yeah, that was great.
ASHLEY: What's weird is how you know the information, but how it all goes away when you're trying to engage to a camera.
MATT: Every time.
TRAVIS: Stoked for that writer's room, it's going to be awesome.
ASHLEY: Stoked! Ugh, it's going to be so cool.
MATT: Thank you so much, Ashley. And thank you everybody who supported the campaign. Get the word out there, share with your friends, and if you can and haven't had an opportunity yet but you can, help out, that'd be fantastic. I believe that's the last of our announcements. So that being the case, let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role.
(water bubbling)
(thunder rumbling)
(explosion)
♪ Role, Critical Role ♪
♪ Role, Critical Role ♪
♪ Role, Critical Role ♪
♪ Role, Critical Role ♪
♪ Role, Critical Role ♪
♪ Role, Critical Role ♪
♪ Roll the dice ♪
♪ The adventure begins ♪
♪ They were always beside you ♪
♪ Your nerdy best friends ♪
♪ And the DM to guide you ♪
♪ And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead ♪
♪ Villains beware because you're about to be dead ♪
♪ They got magic and flair ♪
♪ They got falchions and cunning ♪
♪ They don't see over there ♪
♪ There's a monster incoming ♪
♪ Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don't think twice ♪
♪ Put your fate in your hands, take a chance, ♪
♪ roll the dice ♪
♪ Roll the dice ♪
♪ Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪
♪ Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪
♪ Ooh, ahh ♪
♪ Can you answer the call ♪
♪ Diggin' deep in your soul ♪
♪ As the legend unfolds ♪
♪ Now it's your turn (your turn, your turn) ♪
♪ to roll ♪
(flames whooshing)
Part I
MARISHA: -- bitch.
MATT: And welcome back. (laughter) You know it's the end of the campaign, they're getting lazy.
TRAVIS: Is that what it is?
TALIESIN: It's not lazy, it's--
MATT: I know.
ASHLEY: Terror.
MATT: Last we left off: The Mighty Nein, after trudging through the ruins of Aeor with Essek at their side, chasing the tracks of the remaining two members of the Tomb Takers, Lucien and Cree. You traveled into the Genesis Ward, caught them at the Immensus Gate where they managed to abscond beyond into the Astral Sea towards Cognouza, you giving immediate chase. One of you is a sheep, another one shrunk, but you know, don't worry about it. (laughter) Upon arriving, discovered you are at the floating monstrous city of Cognouza, the living mass that the Somnovem seem to be leading as it expands and consumes whatever comes across. You give chase to the two figures charging through the city as they divide off in different directions. You chose left. Following that figure down into the street, you saw denizens walking the cobblestone here. Though upon talking with them, they screamed.
LAURA: (laughs) Yes.
TRAVIS: (short screech)
MATT: You had a conversation with what seemed to be a couple of members of the Somnovem, separated and curious to converse, learn of your motives. And seemed to be at odds with other members of their collective. You battled some of the street sufferers, I guess you could say, who then twisted into terrifying warped flesh and tooth and eye beings. Sought where the individual you were chasing may have gone and found tunnels beneath this city marketplace that led to what looked to be a vault. Heading in that direction, making your way through a rock and flesh tunnel in the direction of where it seemed one of these threshold volts might be, you hear footsteps in the darkness. And as you all look forward, you realize you've come face-to-face with Cree Deeproots, of the Tomb Takers. As you all take a moment to process this sudden occurrence, Cree's eyes darts back and forth. "Shit." I need you to roll initiative.
TRAVIS: Oh, we're just fucking getting into it.
ASHLEY: We're just getting right in.
MATT: Well, I guess I should ask first, what was the order of travel in the tunnel?
LAURA: Well, we were hiding in the folds.
LIAM: The folds.
MATT: Right.
TRAVIS: The nasolabial folds.
LAURA: Flesh folds.
SAM: Oh god. I think this combat is sponsored by Dwarven Forge, makers of premium handcrafted gaming terrain. Each hand-sculpted, twisted curve of Dwarven Forge terrain will drive you wild imagining what you could do with it. Bring your fantasies to life-- This sounds like porn-- at bit.ly/dwarvenforgecr.
TRAVIS: Whoa! Okay.
MATT: All right, so.
TRAVIS: What's in the middle?
MATT: Let me go ahead and initiative here.
LAURA: Oh, that's right, that's right, that's right.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: That's like, is that water? Is that fleshy?
MATT: That is exposed, pulsing flesh. Amongst the rock elements.
TRAVIS: Sure, it is.
LIAM: Yeah, I don't really like the phrase "flesh tunnel" so much. (laughter)
ASHLEY: I love it! (laughter)
MATT: 25 to 20.
LAURA: 20, 23.
SAM: 20.
ASHLEY: 20.
SAM: 22 over here.
TRAVIS: Jester. Nott. Yasha. I mean Veth. Fuck.
MATT: Yasha, okay.
LAURA: And wait, what was Yasha, what was Veth?
TRAVIS: Jester, Veth... SANL 22 over here.
LAURA: Okay.
MATT: 20 to 15.
TRAVIS: 17.
LIAM: 17.
MARISHA: 15.
MATT: Damn, all right. So which of you has the highest? I think that'd be Caleb.
TRAVIS: I have a zero dexterity.
LIAM: I have a 12.
TRAVIS: Yep, you're higher than me.
MARISHA: Wow.
MATT: Fjord.
TRAVIS: Go figure. Beau.
MATT: All right. Caduceus?
TALIESIN: 13.
LIAM: What were the first three? Jester, who, who?
TRAVIS: Jester, Veth, Yasha.
LIAM: Thank you.
MATT: So where were you hiding? You would say you guys would be in this region when this all occurred.
TRAVIS: I made myself look like somebody, didn't I?
LAURA: Oh yeah, you were like one of the denizens of the city.
MARISHA: Like the old woman, or something like that.
LIAM: The giant eye, right? Didn't you make your face an eye?
TRAVIS: I did, during the fight. Not in this one, though. Just like unseeing and walking forward like the old woman that was in the square.
LAURA: Oh, that's right, that's right.
MATT: I will put you there. Then out in the open, is that what you're saying?
TRAVIS: Uh yeah, that's what my dumb ass decided to do.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: I imagine I'd be in a fold. Can I-- Where are the folds?
MATT: There's a fold there.
SAM: Gross.
MATT: There's a fold there.
SAM: Gross.
MATT: There's a fold here.
SAM: Also gross.
MARISHA: I'll take that. I'll take that second fold you pointed out.
MATT: Here?
MARISHA: No, that one, yep.
LIAM: I'll take an anal gland near Jester.
MATT: Near Jester, right there. Okay, Yasha, Veth, Caduceus?
ASHLEY: If there's an extra fold? (laughter)
TRAVIS: (Cockney accent) The fold's taken. (laughter)
MARISHA: Oh my god.
TALIESIN: Oh, we're going to die.
MATT: There are two more. There are two more folds. (laughter) Two more folds back here.
ASHLEY: Okay. (laughs) That really got me. Okay, maybe a little closer to-- Cree was coming in from this way?
MATT: In this direction.
ASHLEY: Yeah, okay, so let me... Kind of near, yeah, that's right around there.
MARISHA: You can fit here, if you want.
ASHLEY: I feel like I was a little close to Beau.
MATT: Okay, Veth, Caduceus?
MARISHA: Share my fold.
ASHLEY: (Cockney accent) Fold's taken.
SAM: I can be anywhere, so.
TALIESIN: I'll go in that last fold, then.
MATT: Essek's going to be hiding back behind that piece there. You're going to the last fold?
TALIESIN: Yeah, that last available fold.
MATT: You got it. Now all the folds are taken. Veth, where are you at?
SAM: If all the folds are taken, I can use Yasha's body as cover.
MATT: That's true.
SAM: And just hide behind her.
LAURA: There's also a little thing sticking up in the middle there.
SAM: That could be a penis or something. I don't know.
LAURA: That's true.
SAM: All right, I'll go behind the penis.
MATT: What?
SAM: It's a penis. (laughter)
TRAVIS: You mean the little stalag?
SAM: The stalagmite, stalactite.
LIAM: Rock formation.
MATT: Yeah, mostly rock.
SAM and LAURA: "Mostly rock."
LIAM: I mean, it is somewhat flesh, so.
MATT: Yeah. All right, and there's where Cree had stopped upon realizing. Top of the round.
TRAVIS: Is that Cree right, just across the open, exposed flesh area?
SAM: Yeah, the flesh puddle.
MATT: Yes.
SAM: The skin pond.
MATT: Jester, you're up. Veth, you're on deck.
TRAVIS: Can I ask a question? Is the puddle, I'm sorry, the open, exposed flesh. It looks solid?
MATT: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Or does it look liquid?
MATT: It looks solid in the way that a waterbed is solid.
LAURA: Gross!
TRAVIS: Is it reflective and shimmering, or like matte dry look?
MATT: There's no light in here, really, it's hard to tell.
LAURA: So it looks like skin. It just looks like flesh.
LIAM: That could do anything.
TRAVIS: That's exactly right. Anything. Absolutely anything.
MATT: Well, you're up, Jester.
SAM: Oh my god.
LAURA: How can I-- About how long is this tunnel?
MATT: How long is it?
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: It goes on continually for--
LAURA: On and on and on. We saw--
MATT: You traveled like a few hundred feet from this direction, and you don't know how far it goes that way.
LAURA: Okay, but we did see we can see light at the end of the tunnel. You said we saw light.
MATT: A very, very faint bit of blue light.
LAURA: Okay.
SAM: Can we see how far that blue light is roughly? Like between two and 500 feet, or five and a thousand feet, or--?
MATT: It's probably within a hundred or 200 feet-ish. Not too terribly far.
LAURA: I'm going to then look over at Caleb. Say: Want to take a trip?
LIAM: Oh!
LAURA: I'm just going to grab his arm and Polymorph-- Not Polymorph us, Dimension Door us.
MATT: You're going to Dimension Door?
LAURA: I'm going to Dimension Door me and Caleb towards the blue light.
MATT: Okay. You reach over and grab Caleb, and (whoosh).
TRAVIS: Ooh, that's a good idea.
MATT: Vanish.
LIAM: So he said, "Oh," here, and when they reappear he's going to say: Yeah.
MATT: So you grab Caleb and both of you dart through that direction of the light. You both apparate about a foot above the ground and catch yourself as you land. You are now standing in the middle of a somewhat different arrangement of a familiar threshold vault. You can see the dual staircases that come down in the middle. There's the upper platform. You both are right at the bottom of the stairs. At the floor in the middle, you see the same sigil that marks the floor that leads up to the ceiling portion. Though the floor is broken open in places, and you can see bits of exposed muscle and fleshy strident texture, pulsing and moving beneath it. And looking around the chamber itself, the architecture, it's odd. As you take in the space around you, it's familiar, but everything is bent. Everything is a bit twisted. The arches are warped. And for a brief moment, you feel yourself having to fight vertigo of trying to figure out which way is the right way to be standing in this space. But that's your action.
LAURA: Okay.
MATT: All right, anything else you want to do on your turn?
LAURA: Can I see the threshold crest?
MATT: You look up, and you see about 25 feet up in the air, embedded in the ceiling. You see the massive, somewhat circular threshold crest giving that dull, familiar, bluish glow. And it is set into its stone its stone facing in the ceiling itself. Though you can watch the lip of it twitch in places, like a mouth that is currently full.
LAURA: It's going to hold onto it. I just look at Caleb and say: We have to get it out.
LIAM: Okay.
MATT: Well, that finishes Jester's go. Veth, you're up. Yasha, you're on deck.
TRAVIS: Oh my god.
SAM: When Cree approached us, we don't know if she saw some of us, all of us? Did she make eye contact?
MATT: You don't know.
SAM: We don't know, but we were, we were sort of hiding.
MATT: She stopped and said, "Shit." Which means she seems to be aware that something is here. It would be your guess as to how perceptive she is and to what she has noticed.
SAM: Okay, well then, I'm going to hope that I'm hidden and I'm going to--
MATT: Roll a stealth check for me.
SAM: Okay.
MATT: Like you need to, but still.
SAM: Yeah, no I could. They're both bad rolls, so I'll take my 25.
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: Wow.
MATT: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Wow.
MATT: Yeah.
SAM: And I'm going to hope I'm hidden and just sort of inch around. Bonus action, cast Brenatto's Voltaic Bolt on my bolt.
MATT: You've got it.
SAM: And fire it and hope it hits.
MATT: Go for it.
TRAVIS: Here we go.
SAM: 12 plus 11. So that's a 23 to hit.
MATT: That does hit.
SAM: And sneak attack?
TRAVIS: No going back now.
MATT: You were hidden.
SAM: Yes!
TRAVIS: Let's go, rogues!
SAM: All right. All the dice.
ASHLEY: Oh my goodness, that is so many dice.
SAM: Uh-huh.
TRAVIS: Are they high numbers? Are they high numbers?
SAM: Yes, they are.
TRAVIS: Yes.
SAM: 30. Ooh! Plus. Oh man. 60 points of damage. (cheering)
TRAVIS: If you had critted on that--!
MATT: Yeah, rogues, man.
SAM: That was a lot of fives and sixes.
ASHLEY: Holy mackerel.
MARISHA: Amazing.
ASHLEY: That was amazing.
SAM: Yeah!
MATT: All right. The instant that everyone stops in that weird showdown pause right as you see Cree getting ready to do something. You dart out from behind that rock structure, fire, and whatever momentum Cree was initiating, shifts into a spin grab into the mid-torso. As you see the impact actually sends her onto the back foot. And right now she looks like, just wasn't expecting such a extremely deadly impact so soon. So that's your action.
TRAVIS: Good job.
SAM: Yeah, I'm not--
MATT: Your bonus and your action. So you have movement.
SAM: Yeah, who's right in front of me?
MATT: Fjord is.
SAM: Okay.
TRAVIS: (high-pitched) I'm an old woman.
SAM: I'm trying to think if like she has some sort of, like, cone-type attack. I don't want to be in the cone. I hate cones. I'm going to move forward and to the right and try to find a fold. Like, maybe one of the folds where Jester used to be. Or, I don't know, just forward to the right.
MATT: Okay.
SAM: As far as I can go.
MATT: Just sneak into that space there.
SAM: Okay, great.
MATT: All righty, that finishes your go?
SAM: Yep.
MATT: All righty.
TALIESIN: So you don't get sneak attack next round, then.
SAM: No, not unless I can come by and someone else gets near her.
MATT: Yasha, you're up. Caleb, you're on deck.
ASHLEY: All right. Well, I'm going to fucking rage, for starters.
TRAVIS: (excited yelling)
ASHLEY: (growls)
SAM: Habadahoobada.
ASHLEY: Habadahoobada.
TALIESIN: Hoobadahabada.
ASHLEY: Okay, so I'm going to start making my way.
ALL: ♪ Makin' my way! ♪
ASHLEY: Over to this bish.
TRAVIS: Almost harmonized.
MATT: All right, yeah, you just go charging along the path.
ASHLEY: Holy Avenger, take a swing.
MATT: Could you make a dexterity saving throw for me, please?
ASHLEY: Yes.
SAM: Oh, oh no.
LAURA: A what, a what?
SAM: A dexterity saving throw because fleshy puddles are probably going to reach out and try to--
MARISHA: ♪ Reach out and-- ♪
ASHLEY: Natural 20.
MARISHA: ♪ -- touch me ♪
TRAVIS: Yeah!
MARISHA: Ooh!
ASHLEY: Okay, I'm going to leave that.
TRAVIS: It's the fringe.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.
SAM: It is the fringe.
ASHLEY: Let's throw this one, okay.
SAM: Hot damn.
ASHLEY: Okay, great. That would be-- well, 20 total.
MATT: 20 hits.
SAM: Ooh, okay. She's going down.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay. Okay. I'm going to do Savage Attacker. That's lower, okay. Let me do a little addition here.
SAM: She made Caleb and Jester disappear!
TRAVIS: Hey Matt, is there anybody on--
SAM: Oh my god! (laughter)
ASHLEY: 34 points of damage.
MATT: Nice.
SAM: Ooh, ooh, ooh! We're approaching triple digits on the first round.
ASHLEY: Second hit. That would be 18.
MATT: 18 just misses. (groaning)
TRAVIS: 19 AC, sounds like.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay. Okay.
TRAVIS: Could be.
ASHLEY: All right.
MATT: I'm sorry.
ASHLEY: Nope, it's fine.
MATT: All righty, does that finish your turn?
MARISHA: So 19, you think?
TRAVIS: I think.
MARISHA: Okay.
ASHLEY: That finishes--
TRAVIS: She said 18, he said just missed.
ASHLEY: -- my turn. Let me check something real quick. Oh yeah, already used it. That's my turn.
MATT: All right, Yasha's done. Caleb, you're up. Fjord, you're on deck.
LIAM: Okay, in the split second that we arrive, I want to see two things really quick. One, is there any writing anywhere, and two, about how high is the ceiling and the gem above our heads?
MATT: Make a perception check.
LIAM: Yeah.
SAM: You reached seven different directions.
LIAM: I did, yes. Infinite possibilities. 20.
MATT: 20. You do not see any writing immediately, you just see the various runic symbols on the center of the chamber that lead across the floor to the back wall and up. That is part of the apparatus that is designed to utilize the threshold crests that you recall from the previous ruins of Aeor. It is embedded about 20, 25 feet above you.
LIAM: 20 to 25 feet.
MATT: Correct.
LIAM: Back up, back up and I just sort of nudge back and get out from under it if we're under it.
MATT: You're not directly under it. It's about maybe 10 feet out from where you're standing.
LIAM: Okay, and I draw the dust on my arm and I cast Disintegrate all along the lining holding the gem in place.
MARISHA: Cool.
MATT: Okay, all right.
SAM: Cool.
ASHLEY: Yes.
SAM: Oh, Matt's going to the phone. Putting in a quick order at Door Dash. (laughter)
MATT: Look, it's been a day. (laughter)
SAM: Need some carnitas.
LIAM: Can you get me some nachos, Matt?
MATT: All righty.
LAURA: Why does it always think I'm standing?
MATT: (laughs) As you go ahead and hit the side of the stone, you watch as-- You're used to seeing stone just turn to dust. Instead, you see flesh wither black, the ceiling suddenly curling like a wound that immediately festers. And you can see the stone and the room around you begins to twitch and shift in pain.
LAURA: It didn't like that.
MATT: The stone, you see, part of it begins to fall loose. Tendrils like (flitting) begin and try and grab around it like little tethers, and it's now dangling and swinging about five feet below the opening, and you see it's trying to pull it back up, but it's much looser than it was.
LAURA: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
LIAM: We need to grab that dingleberry.
TRAVIS: (laughs) That's exactly what I was thinking!
SAM: It's on by maybe two hairs.
MATT: Do you want to stay put or? You have the two curving stairs behind you that lead up towards the entrance to the chamber.
LIAM: I'll go halfway up one set of stairway.
MATT: Okay, the right or left one?
LIAM: Let's say the left.
MATT: All right, you're back. You back up towards the left stair. You've got it, all right. Finishing Caleb's go. Fjord, you're up.
TRAVIS: I will try to close the distance on Cree as well, but I'll go the opposite side of the pond to make my way there with 30 feet of movement.
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: So I'll walk around the pond.
MATT: Walk around the pond?
TRAVIS: Yeah, the flesh pond?
MATT: Yeah. Could you make a dexterity saving throw for me, please?
TRAVIS: Oh, just from being close?
MATT: Correct.
TRAVIS: Oh shit, I should have just gone. Oh, these are not-- Oh, come on, come on, come on. (groaning) 10.
MATT: 10. (whoosh) As you get close, elements of it wrap out and grab at your feet. You try and kick it off and then three more (whooshing) grab and pull you in. You're now about ankle deep in this weird, doughy surface. And it's not hurting you, but your movement is reduced to zero.
TRAVIS: Fair enough. With my bonus action, I will reach out and I will cast Hexblade's Curse on Cree.
MATT: Oh damn, okay.
LAURA: Yes.
SAM: Hexblade's Curse!
LIAM: Dark warlock. (grunting)
MATT: Hexed.
TRAVIS: Are my arms free to cast? Or am I-- okay?
MATT: Yeah. It's just your ankles and legs. You got dragged in and you're still standing, you're just ankle deep in skin.
TRAVIS: Ankle deep! I will send three Eldritch Blasts towards Cree.
SAM: ♪ I'm still standing ♪
MATT: Go for it.
TRAVIS: First one is a 24.
MATT: That hits.
TRAVIS: Second one is a 27.
MATT: That hits.
TRAVIS: And last one is a 28!
MATT: They all hit, go for it.
TRAVIS: Wow, that's amazing. None of them were 19s which would have been a crit, you bastard, fuck you!
TALIESIN: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Three, 10, 13, that's 15 points of force damage.
MATT: Nice.
TRAVIS: That's nine-- 10 points of force damage.
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: 14 points of force damage.
SAM: Ooh!
MATT: Nice!
TRAVIS: Boof, boof, boof!
SAM: Dead yet?
MATT: No.
SAM: (sighs)
MATT: But she's starting to look hurt. (laughs) From the blasts from you, the impact from Yasha and now the (whooshing), and the shadows gathering around and clinging to it, there's a weird, vine-like tether of the curse. It's moving between her armor and her clothes. Cree is like (grunting). The red cloak now being grabbed on one hand and hand forward towards whoever's coming nearby. That finishes your turn. Fjord? All right, it's now Essek's go.
TALIESIN: Yay.
SAM: Oh yeah, we got Essek.
TRAVIS: Let's go, Essek!
SAM: We're going to win!
TRAVIS: Let's go!
MATT: Essek is going to go ahead and 30 about there, and just glide forward, and is going to go ahead and cast, let's say... Hmm. Everyone's in a line right there. He's going to go ahead and cast Magic Missile at 4th-level.
SAM: Nice.
MATT: No, let's go 5th-level.
TRAVIS and SAM: Nice, nice, nice, nice, nice.
MATT: Just to make sure it doesn't miss. Cool. 29 points of force damage to Cree from Essek.
TRAVIS: Yes!
MATT: In the darkness here, there's this faint flash of dark purplish energy that crackles as multitudes of darts, eight in particular.
SAM: Damn!
MATT: (whooshing) Go and arc around, going past Fjord and underneath the arm and the armor, going right around you, Yasha, and just colliding at multiple points around Cree and you just feel this mild splash on your face as elements of Cree's body have now just been blown apart in places at the shoulder. That's going to finish Essek's go. (laughter) (as Essek) "Quick, get to her!" Beauregard, you're up. Caduceus, you're on deck.
MARISHA: I just go: Yep! And I get to her. Because I can.
SAM: (quick footsteps)
MARISHA: Okay, and can I-- Shit, I'm not able to flank her, am I? Is she up against that penis pillar?
MATT: Yeah. Yeah, that pillar is where you would need to be to flank.
TRAVIS: Brought to you by Bad Dragon.
MARISHA: Well, let me at least, I guess, come one more five feet towards the pillar.
MATT: There?
MARISHA: Ye.
MATT: All righty.
MARISHA: She's still good, yeah?
MATT: Mm-hmm.
MARISHA: Or I'm still in range? A-pop pop, I'm going to do a big old swing with my staff.
MATT: Do it.
MARISHA: That's a natural one.
TRAVIS: No!
MARISHA: That sucks. Next swing. That's much better. That is a 14 total, so for 26 to hit?
MATT: That does hit.
MARISHA: Cool, Stunning Strike.
MATT: All righty.
MARISHA: Oh my god, I rolled a one on the damage die, too!
MATT: 19 on the save.
MARISHA: Okay.
TRAVIS: Oh, damn.
MARISHA: 19 on the save, huh?
MATT: What's the damage on that?
MARISHA: Eight damage.
MATT: Eight damage, all righty.
MARISHA: Hmm, Flurry Of Blows.
MATT: Okay.
MARISHA: Those both hit. Those are both over 14 so 26 and 30 total.
MATT: Yeah, those hit.
MARISHA: Oh shit, shit, where's another die? Here we go, hah, hah! Okay. Okay, that is 13 damage.
MATT: 13.
MARISHA: And that was-- Oh wait, did I roll two die?
MATT: You did.
MARISHA: Okay, then that was another stupid one on the damage die so eight damage.
MATT: Eight damage, got it.
MARISHA: Extract Aspects.
MATT: Cree is resistant to psychic damage.
MARISHA: Resistant to psychic, that's good to know. And then, I'm almost done. I'm going to spend one more ki point to Extort Truth.
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: Ooh.
MATT: All righty. What's the save on that one?
MARISHA: She has to make a charisma saving throw.
SAM: Ooh.
MATT: Charisma.
LIAM: Hit those pressure points.
MATT: That is going to be a 16.
MARISHA: She fails, she had to make a 17.
MATT: Okay, then yes.
MARISHA: So for one minute Cree cannot deliberately tell a lie. And... Sorry, sorry. All charisma checks made against her are made with advantage for up to 10 minutes.
SAM: She doesn't have to tell the truth, but she can't lie.
TRAVIS: We'll ask her questions in between popping her in the face. (laughs)
MARISHA: If they come up, I guess, I don't know.
SAM: What's your ATM pin? (laughter)
MARISHA: Okay, that's my--
MATT: All right.
TRAVIS: What's your mother's maiden name?
MATT: That finishes your go, Beauregard. Caduceus, you're up. Cree rolled super-low initiative. (laughs)
TALIESIN: I'm going to try--
MATT: I was like: Three. Shit.
TALIESIN: How far away from her am I at the moment?
MATT: From Cree, you're about 60 feet away.
TALIESIN: 60 fucking feet, okay.
TRAVIS: 60 fucking feet.
TALIESIN: 60 fucking feet. That's too much, I'm holding that off. If I can get-- I'm going to try and get 30 feet away, if that's possible.
MATT: Sure.
TALIESIN: Is it possible to do that without getting too close to the flesh?
MATT: No.
TALIESIN: No? Okay, then 30 feet. I want to get within 30 feet so I can cast a spell.
MATT: Okay. Make a dexterity saving throw for me, if you don't mind.
TALIESIN: All right, fuck it. That's 12.
MATT: (whooshing) You are pulled in by the same tethers that now hold Fjord around the calves and ankles.
TRAVIS: Hey, Caduceus.
TALIESIN: Hey.
MATT: Your speed is zero, but you still have your action in the process.
TALIESIN: But nothing's-- I'm going to hold my action, which is going to be-- I'm going to be using one of my Channel Divinities to Path to the Grave. But I'm going to wait until after Jester's turn.
MATT: Okay, you got it. All right. That finishes your go, Caduceus?
TALIESIN: For now, yeah.
MATT: Okay. Cree's turn.
SAM: Finally!
MATT: I know. Cree is like (grunting) "You're too late, I think." Looks back over the shoulder, counting and noticing the two that vanished. Yasha, you do get an attack opportunity as Cree is going to go ahead and attempt to step away.
ASHLEY: I shall take it.
MARISHA: Sentinel bitch.
ASHLEY: Yeah. That would be 26 to hit.
MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
TRAVIS: Come here!
ASHLEY: Get over here! (whooshing) Okay.
SAM: That is the tiniest stupid little dice.
ASHLEY: I know it's the teeniest.
LAURA: Like pew!
SAM: It's so tiny!
ASHLEY: Okay. So that would be 20 total.
MATT: 20 total.
SAM: Dude.
TALIESIN: Wow.
SAM: Dude!
TALIESIN: This is vicious.
MATT: Cree is looking hurt. Cree, after-- gets hit by you, gets knocked to one knee and sees that running is not an option. Looks up between Beauregard and you. (snarling) Takes the red cloak and wraps it around herself to go ahead and Dimension Door.
TRAVIS: Stay, Counterspell.
MATT: Okay. Since it is a 4th-level spell, go ahead and roll to see if you Counterspell. So roll d20 and add your charisma modifier of five.
TRAVIS: Okay.
MATT: You need to roll a nine or higher.
TRAVIS: Casting it at--
ASHLEY: Come on.
LAURA: Nine or higher.
TRAVIS: I'm casting it--
MARISHA: Hang on, wait. Did you say--
TRAVIS: -- at 5th-level. Casting at 5th-level.
MARISHA: -- charisma?
SAM: Yeah, but it's not a charisma save.
MATT: Oh yeah, you're casting it at 5th-level? Well then, then it's gone. That's right.
MATT: You don't have to roll.
LAURA: Warlocks just automatically cast high.
MATT: That's right.
SAM: It's done, it's done.
TRAVIS: Bing!
MARISHA: Done, done.
MATT: With that, the cloak wraps around, and Cree (exhaling) exhales as you see this flash of arcane energy come off of this cape and then dissipate like mist. Behind, you see Fjord, arm out and having the arcane tethers unraveling it as they return to you and then drift away.
TRAVIS: Well, we want you to stay.
SAM: Oh boy.
MATT: Cree is facing away from you now. Cree is just facing the other room, doesn't even look back at any of you. The only one who can see her face right now is Beauregard. And Cree is looking forward, hollow and furious. She's going to spend the rest of her turn going (panting) and just breathe heavily. Beauregard and Caleb. You hear Cree's voice not speaking to you, but you pick up on it like a wayward radio signal. It says "Nonagon, help me! Please!" That's all you hear.
TRAVIS: Oh, shit, oh!
LAURA: No, no, no, no, no.
LIAM: Caleb just says: We need to pick up the pace right now!
MATT: All right, finishing-- that's Cree's turn. (laughter)
TRAVIS: Don't pull 'em out!
TALIESIN: This is about to go very poorly in about--
LAURA: Jester, you're up.
LAURA: (screaming) Okay, okay, okay.
TRAVIS: (screams)
LAURA: I look up. So the gem is dangling how far now down off the ground or ceiling?
MATT: It's about 15 feet above you, 15 to 20 feet, and it's dangling by some tethers, rocking. And more and more little tendrils (squishing) wrapping around from different angles. Like a sea anemone mouth opening and trying to pull something.
LAURA: Trying to pull it back up? How tall, having seen Caleb do this many times, how tall are giant apes?
MATT: Giant apes are considered-- they're about 15 feet.
LIAM: They're huge.
MATT: Yeah.
LAURA: I'm going to polymorph myself into a giant ape. Jester-pleb? No, that's not right. Jestape, I'm not sure.
MARISHA: Jestape?
LAURA: Giant blue ape!
SAM: Japester.
LAURA: And I'm going to reach up and grab it and pull it down with all my strength that I have and try to yank it out of its socket.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: Fight against those tethers.
MATT: All righty. Go ahead and roll a strength check using the giant ape's strength modifier. This is you versus Cognouza.
LAURA: Yeah, but it's just a tendril of Cognouza
MATT: So go ahead and roll. See how it goes.
TRAVIS: Do we have to do any d20 weirdness on casting spells anymore?
LIAM: Not anymore.
TRAVIS: Just Aeor.
LAURA: Just Aeor.
MATT: Just seem to be Aeor.
LIAM: Or Eiselcross.
LAURA: 14.
MATT: Not enough. As you reach up and grab it, you're still holding on to it and dangling, and some tethers pull taut and you see one larger, thick tentacle (squelching) and grab it. And it's now your weight versus the stone and these tendrils, and it continues to lift up as you lose your grip.
LAURA: Wait! Oh, I lose my grip? Can I still keep a hold on it, at least?
MATT: Not with a 14. But it's not beyond your reach, still. You can try again next round if things go well. Unfortunately, it is a smooth stone.
TRAVIS: Who has the stronger strength mod, you or the ape?
LAURA: The ape.
MATT: It was just a not good roll, unfortunately.
LAURA: Yeah, that was a shit roll.
MATT: But good call. All right, finishing Jester's go, then. Are you going to stay put or are you going to move elsewhere in the chamber?
LAURA: No, I'm going to try-- I'm right below it, I want to try to be right below it.
MATT: You got it. All right. Veth, your turn.
TALIESIN: I snap my fingers.
SAM: What's that do?
TALIESIN: You'll see. There's a little shimmer on Cree, so.
SAM: Oh my god!
TRAVIS: "You'll see"?
SAM: She's turned Caduceus! (laughter)
SAM: Into a jazz man! (laughter)
TRAVIS: (scatting)
SAM: Are we trying to kill her still?
MARISHA: Yeah, just-- probably.
SAM: I feel bad.
TRAVIS: What is this, emotion?!
SAM: Well, I don't know.
TRAVIS: End her!
SAM: We can get information from her.
MARISHA: I mean, I guess if you want to be like, "Who does Lucien work for?" as you punch her, if you can.
TALIESIN: We can do that when she's dead, too.
SAM: Okay.
MARISHA: Oh.
LAURA: Kill her!
SAM: Yeah?
LAURA: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Do it.
SAM: This is life or death!
TRAVIS: Or do what you want to do.
SAM: Okay. I'll kill her. (laughter)
SAM: She's engaged with my friends so I can just attack and still get sneak attack damage?
MATT: Yeah.
SAM: If I hit?
MATT: If you hit.
SAM: I will just hit. I mean, I will hope I hit. Oh no! 15!
TRAVIS: Oh no!
MATT: 15 misses.
SAM: Bonus action fire again. Terrible! 17!
ASHLEY: Oh no!
MARISHA: No!
MATT: 17 misses.
TALIESIN: Damn it.
TRAVIS: Your morals are conflicted!
SAM: Oh no!
MATT: The process of the moral quandary!
SAM: Maybe a little intentional. (laughter)
TALIESIN: Would have been dope. Oh well.
MATT: All right, well.
SAM: She just seems like a nice kitty cat.
MATT: Finishing your go, that brings us to Yasha. You're up with Caleb on deck.
ASHLEY: Yes?
TRAVIS: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Okay.
TRAVIS: Where'd the question mark come from?
ASHLEY: I don't know, okay?
TRAVIS: Don't let the question mark invade you.
ASHLEY: All right, I'm going to take a swing.
MATT: Okay!
SAM: Maybe she's turned over a new leaf, Yasha!
ASHLEY: Oh don't-- Okay, okay, that definitely didn't hit. Because that was a two.
LAURA: Why are you excited about not hitting her?
TALIESIN: We're going to die. We're going to die.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay.
LAURA: She's calling Lucien!
ASHLEY: Second hit, second hit.
SAM: She has a family!
ASHLEY: God dang it!
LIAM: For all we know, Beau and Caleb are about to get turned on.
MARISHA: Are you serious?
TRAVIS: She runs a non profit!
ASHLEY: Yes, I'm serious.
MARISHA: No!
ASHLEY: That's 18.
MATT: 18 just misses.
SAM: She donates most of her--
ASHLEY: No!
SAM: -- her profits to charity.
ASHLEY: 19.
MATT: 19 just hits.
ASHLEY: Ooh!
MARISHA: Yes!
ASHLEY: Rolled a seven. Plus 12, I did it wrong.
MARISHA: Dump everything.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay.
TRAVIS: That is 19, yeah.
ASHLEY: Yes, that's 19. (exhaling)
TRAVIS: Oh, come on! (laughter)
MATT: Holy shit!
ASHLEY: Ooh.
MATT: What is it?
ASHLEY: I rolled all sixes.
SAM: 666.
TALIESIN: It's worse than you think.
MATT: So all right, so do your damage. All sixes.
LAURA: I wanted to be holding onto it, just be dangling on.
TALIESIN: This is going to be really, really dark.
TRAVIS: Because of your shimmer?
TALIESIN: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Okay wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
TRAVIS: Multiply it by five.
SAM: What is this?
ASHLEY: I'm pulling out a calculator, shut up.
TRAVIS: I use a calculator all the time.
SAM: Maybe we should get you one of those TI-85s.
TALIESIN: Ditto.
MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.
TRAVIS: Why fuck around with paper math? Let's go, guys.
SAM: Wait, can't your D&D Beyond just do it?
TRAVIS: Steve Jobs gave us a calculator.
ASHLEY: I believe that's 39, is the total.
MATT: 39 points of slashing damage which, thanks to Caduceus, becomes instead 78--
ALL: Ooh!
MATT: -- points of slashing damage.
TALIESIN: Yep, that's what just happened.
MARISHA: What did you do?
SAM: When did you get that trick?
TALIESIN: I've had that trick all along.
MATT: He's used it a number of times, yeah.
TALIESIN: It's just-- yeah.
MATT: It's situational.
TALIESIN: Every now and then, I can double the damage on something.
ASHLEY: As she started to try to disappear, I want to step on her cloak, yank her back, and (slicing)
MATT: So you yank her back and pull her onto your sword?
ASHLEY: Yeah.
MATT: All right. As she goes to try and run and bolt you just grab, yank her back and (squishing) pull her all over to the hilt. (groaning) The blade is now sticking fully through Cree's chest.
LAURA: Yasha!
MATT: Just coughs this big spatter of blood. You can feel the body going limp against the blade as she goes, "Lucien." You both hear in your mind, "You've done well. But I need you to hold them off a little longer. I'm not done. I'm not ready yet. Become a vessel for the pattern and show them the way." In the darkness of this chamber there's suddenly a dull red glow in your proximity, as the five eyes that mark Cree's body begin to glow simultaneously.
SAM: You got three.
MATT: Yasha, as you're holding there, you look and you feel Cree's body begin to shake, just shake violently and you have-
ASHLEY: The fuck?
MATT: Do you want to pull your blade free?
ASHLEY: I'm going to just, with the bottom of my boot push her off my blade.
MATT: Okay. You go ahead and (whooshing) shunt the body off of the blade, falls to the ground, and with a limpness that a corpse would and the life has been drawn out. But when the body impacts, there's tension in the muscles and you can see now, Cree shaking, convulsing, the eyes getting brighter and brighter, until suddenly the back of her shoulders split. (cracking) Bone and flesh begins to spit out and grow. This horrible, mangled version of what once was Cree is now this ever-swelling monstrosity of flesh, teeth and eyes.
TRAVIS: What?
MATT: You watch as parts of the ground begin to expand and seem to be feeding to the body as it gets larger and larger. (screeching)
LAURA: Oh!
TRAVIS: Not part of the plan. Not part of the plan, not part of the plan.
LAURA: Oh no. (screaming)
LAURA: It's so shiny!
TRAVIS: Excuse you!
MATT: Still hexed.
TRAVIS: Okay.
MARISHA: And it can't tell a lie. (laughter)
SAM: Oh, nasty.
TRAVIS: Who does Number Two work for? (snarling) Holy shit.
LAURA: Oh my god.
LIAM: She's wearing a soft serve ice cream.
MATT: Give you a nice front view of it.
ASHLEY: Ew, it looks so--
ALL: Ugh!
TRAVIS: What the fuck, man?
ASHLEY: Get out of here!
LIAM: Meow.
LAURA: Oh, poor Cree.
MARISHA: Is that teeth?
LAURA: Are those bones?
LIAM: Bones.
MARISHA: Bones?
MATT: Yep. Yeah, that's Cree.
TRAVIS: Where did you get that?
MATT: It's a Pathfinder mini and I love it so much. I love it. Thank you, WizKids, you're awesome.
ASHLEY: It looks moist.
LAURA: Yeah, it does. Ew.
ASHLEY: Looks a little wet.
TRAVIS and MARISHA: (retching)
LIAM: Give it a little spritz.
MATT: All righty. So that finishes Yasha's go? Or you have another attack, right?
MARISHA: Okay.
TRAVIS: Shit.
ASHLEY: No, the first missed.
MATT: That's right, the first one missed, you're right. Do you want to stay put? (laughs)
ASHLEY: I mean, if I move, it's going to get an attack of opportunity?
MATT: Likely.
LIAM: But who knows what it could do with you right there? It could envelop you.
ASHLEY: This is true, this is true, this is true, this is true! Okay, I'm going to try to-- I'm going to back up. Ah, this is so stupid. Maybe I should just stay. No, no, no, no.
SAM: (trumpeting)
LAURA: ♪ Are you staying? ♪
ASHLEY: I'm going to try to get out of range, at least because my HP is very, very low. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
MATT: Okay. As you back out of the way, it will take a swing.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
MATT: The claw, that'll be natural 19.
ASHLEY: That hits.
MATT: Yeah. Hits.
ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah.
TRAVIS: That's what I do.
MATT: Okay. You take--
LAURA: (groaning)
MATT: 19 points of slashing damage as where once was Cree's arm is now this extended, multi-jointed claw that as opposed to reaching outward and spinning, the fingers actually reconfigure the claws this way and swings out wide towards you and then catches you in the back and shoulder as you stumble forward into the wall. And when you hit the wall, you're expecting rock, but it gives slightly.
ASHLEY: Okay, did you say 19 slashing?
MATT: 19 slashing, you got it.
ASHLEY: So half, because--
MATT: Yes, it is because you're raging.
SAM and ASHLEY: (imitate background horn wail)
MATT: All righty.
TRAVIS: Boy.
MATT: That finishes your go, Yasha. Caleb, you're up.
LIAM: Okay, quick quesh.
MATT: Yeah?
LIAM: Would I be able to climb up my giant blue friend and get within touching range of this thing? Is it that high up or-- if I were to get to the top of her?
MATT: If you were to get to the top of her, you could probably reach it.
LIAM: Yeah?
MATT: You'd just have to climb your friend.
LIAM: Would that be my action?
MATT: I would say--
LAURA: (grunts)
SAM: I don't know, look at that look to Laura, Matt.
MATT: Here's the thing.
SAM: I don't know.
MATT: She was using her turn to pull it down as opposed to helping you up, so you have to actually physically climb it. I will say, if you don't want to use your action to do it, it's going to take a check with disadvantage because you're kind of winging it.
TRAVIS: Come on, dirt wizard.
MATT: But it's possible.
TRAVIS: Advantage, disadvantage climb.
ASHLEY: Get it.
MATT: Who knows? You may--
LIAM: No.
MATT: -- Legolas this.
LIAM: No. No, I want to so bad, but instead, I share an earnest look with my giant blue friend and I laugh a little bit and I pull the cat mint out of my pocket, crush it and I send Cat's Ire, Frumpkin appears for a second. Gone, giant claw grabs the gem and pulls again. So I'm going to try to yank it out.
MATT: So go ahead and make a strength check with the modifier of your spell.
LIAM: Balls!
MATT: What'd you get?
LIAM: Two, so that's a 10 total.
MATT: 10's not enough.
LIAM: Gosh dang it.
MATT: 10's not enough.
MARISHA: Fighting this thing.
TRAVIS: Man.
MATT: Ah, these rolls.
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: As the claw grabs it, you see it pulling.
LAURA: You should've tried to climb!
MATT: The central tether is very strong and you see--
LIAM: It would've been a two!
MATT: -- it's being pulled back up into it and what's disturbing is the stone circle that's built for its space seems to be reaching almost in a faint pucker towards it, like it's wanting to accept the stone back into its vacuous space.
LIAM: It's like Audrey II going (lip smacks).
MATT: Yeah, it wants the stone back and all these little tendrils are pulling and pulling, as you're both trying desperately to get it down. All right.
LIAM: Great, next.
LAURA: (groans)
MATT: Finishing Caleb's go. Fjord, you're up.
TRAVIS: Right, I will use my bonus action.
MATT: At the start of your turn.
TRAVIS: Yep?
MATT: It's interesting. The fleshy body of whatever Cree has become, is-- It's hard to make out what the structure is beyond hints of what was once somewhat humanoid. But there's something else beyond it. At certain moments, there's a blur or a flicker, something (whooshing). Elements that seem to fuzz and you swear for a second, you see symbols or text or something, something is built into the body. The flesh itself is evoking something fractal in moments. I need you to make a wisdom saving throw for me.
TRAVIS: Fractal in moments.
TALIESIN: Fuck my life.
TRAVIS: (groans) 13.
MATT: 13, all right, continue with your turn.
TRAVIS: Oh no. With my bonus action, I'll use Relentless Hex to magically teleport up to 30 feet on the other side of the ze goo.
MATT: There you go, you are right there.
TRAVIS: In melee, but out of my bonds.
MATT: Indeed, you have now made your way out of the strange skin puddle.
TRAVIS: (retches) I will take three swipes with the Star Razor against the lower intestine.
MATT: Go for it.
TRAVIS: Okay. All right, show me what you got. 19.
MATT: That hits.
TRAVIS: Natural 20!
MATT: Nice!
TRAVIS: No, it's only two. It's only two, two swipes. So the first one is 1d10, I'm going to fucking pump it in. That's a 10 plus eight. 18 plus that. 22 points of slashing damage.
MATT: Awesome.
TRAVIS: And then the second one, I'm going to pump a Divine Smite into it.
MATT: Hell yeah.
TRAVIS: Which is down here, so 1d10 plus eight. Okay, I got it, okay, okay (tongue waggling). 13 plus three is 16. Okay, 16 and then double 16 is 32. 32, Savage Attack. I roll an extra damage die for eight. So that's 40.
SAM: Dude.
TRAVIS: 40 and then Divine Smite. ♪ Help me, lord. ♪ I think it's only 4d6 because it's not undead, right?
MATT: Correct.
TRAVIS: Okay.
SAM: It's just gross.
TRAVIS: It just nasty. Okay, so I think it's 4d6, I have to find it. Nine. 13, is that right?
SAM: A lot of math here tonight, guys.
TRAVIS: Where is Divine Smite in this damn thing? Players, take your time when it's your turn. Who cares if there's an audience watching? (laughter) 4d8. Those are d6s, that's dumb, it'd 4d8.
MATT: Yes.
TRAVIS: See? I've done this before.
TALIESIN: Yay.
TRAVIS: Eight. 12. 16. 20. So 20 points, is that also doubled because it's a crit?
MATT: Yeah.
TRAVIS: So 40 points.
MATT: So a total of 80 points?
TRAVIS: 80 points.
ASHLEY: Holy moly!
TALIESIN: Oh my god!
MATT: That's rough. As you strike with the blade each time, the shock of pain causes elements of the bones to stick out like spines reflexively in your direction, piercing you and you go for the second strike, the heavy crit strike and it cuts through and where the gashes left behind open and you see like the face of Cree go (screech) inside the wound as more spines shink out and pierce you like spears, suddenly they retract and become part of the roiling body after that point. You take 22 points of piercing damage.
TRAVIS: Whoa, 22 points of piercing for hitting it?
MATT: Yep.
TRAVIS: That doesn't count as a melee attack, right?
MATT: No, it's reflexively from taking melee hits.
TRAVIS: Very cool and also shit.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Get the fuck out. Get out! I'm pulling ribs out of mine.
MATT: All right, that finish your turn, Fjord?
TRAVIS: Y--
SAM: The McRib is back!
TRAVIS: Yes, it does! (laughter)
MATT: Okay, that brings us to Essek's turn.
TRAVIS: ♪ I want my baby back, baby back ♪
MATT: Essek is just eyes wide, trying to take in what he's seeing here before shaking his head, getting back in the game and pulls the hands forward in front and is going to go ahead and attempt to cast, let's do Hold Monster on it.
SAM: Hey.
MARISHA: Whoa.
SAM: Normal non-dunamantic spell.
MATT: Rolled a natural 18 to save, though. Yeah, unfortunately. That would've been fun. Okay, and that was at 6th-level.
TALIESIN: Go big or go home.
TRAVIS: Oh, wizards.
LIAM: Yeah. This is going to be awesome! Never mind.
MARISHA: That was a melee attack?
MATT: Big swings and big misses.
TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.
LIAM: Yeah.
MATT: And with that, Essek's going to go ahead and--
MARISHA: Oh no.
MATT: Hide behind here for the time being.
TALIESIN: Good call.
MATT: Finishing Essek's go. Beau, you're up. Caduceus, you're on deck.
MARISHA: Oh no.
TRAVIS: Oh shit.
TRAVIS: Yeah.
SAM: Oh yeah.
TRAVIS: Add four points--
TALIESIN: No reaction, though.
MATT: Ooh.
MARISHA: It doesn't have a reaction?
SAM: Remember.
TALIESIN: Burned it already, I believe.
SAM: It can only tell the truth.
MATT: It did with Yasha. (laughter)
MARISHA: Who is the Nonagon? I got to punch it, that's what I do. It's what I do, I'm going to punch it. This is going to be bad. One of them was a natural one. What the hell, y'all? That's the third nat one on an attack I've done. But the other is a natural 17 for 29.
MATT: 29 does hit.
MARISHA: That's good, 15 damage.
MATT: 15 damage, all righty. And you take nine points of piercing damage as spines seem to erupt in reaction to you hitting it with the physical blow nearby.
MARISHA: (groans) I immediately--
MATT: It's looking hurt already, guys.
SAM: Sure.
MATT: That Fjord round fucked it up. Oh, by the way, make a wisdom saving throw for me.
SAM: Oh, by the way.
MATT: Actually, Essek has to make one, too.
TRAVIS: Yeah, and that fractal shit did something to me, right?
MATT: Essek failed.
MARISHA: 25.
MATT: 25, you're fine.
TRAVIS: Is that fractal stuff doing anything?
MARISHA: It's got to do something. Completely shook by this, I'm going to do a Patient Defense and go on guard.
MATT: Okay, you shake off the patterns you're seeing and you pull back and they're weirdly familiar.
MARISHA: From shit that I've seen in dreams?
MATT: And read in books.
MARISHA: And read in books.
MATT: That finishes your turn. All right, Caduceus, you're up, unless you want to move.
SAM: What books you be reading?
MARISHA: I don't know. Tusk Love gets weird at the end. (laughter)
SAM: That weird shit from Tusk Love!
MARISHA: That weird shit, yeah. Chapter nine gets weird.
TRAVIS: "Chapter nine."
MATT: So does that finish your turn? You're staying put or you want to move?
MARISHA: No, I'm staying put with Patient Defense.
MATT: You got up Patient Defense, got it. That brings us to Caduceus.
TALIESIN: Am I still stuck in the goop?
MATT: You still have a speed of zero and I need you to make a wisdom saving throw.
TALIESIN: All right, let's do this wisdom saving throw, come on. 19.
MATT: 19? Okay, good to know.
TALIESIN: I hate that you say that. So I would still have to make, I'm being held by this.
MATT: Correct. You cannot move unless you use an action to try and break free.
TALIESIN: But nothing weird seems to be happening?
MATT: No, it's just holding you in place. For now.
TALIESIN: Fucker. Yeah, you know what? I'll give it one more. I'm going to do the same thing as I did last time.
MATT: Okay. So you're holding on and waiting?
TALIESIN: Holding on and waiting, same idea.
MATT: You've got it. All right, it is now "Cree's" turn. Cree is going to go ahead and first, release Hungry Tendrils.
SAM: ♪ Hungry Tendrils ♪
MATT: Elements of the body, these handl-- (laughs) handless, whirling whips of flesh begin to spin around before striking out towards-- The people that are there are-- One hit to Fjord, one hit to Beau, and one hit to Caduceus. So against you, Fjord. That's going to be 13.
TRAVIS: Misses.
MATT: Against you, Beauregard.
MARISHA: Disadvantage.
MATT: With disadvantage. Disadvantage is going to bring it down to 15.
MARISHA: Nope.
MATT: And Caduceus.
TALIESIN: Yeah, hurt me.
MATT: 11, wow, rolled really bad.
MATT: Can I use my Shield of Retribution on that?
TRAVIS: Does it have to hit you?
TALIESIN: No, it has to miss with a melee attack.
MATT: It does have to miss the melee attack, yes.
TALIESIN: Is this technically a melee attack?
MATT: It is. It's not next to you, but yeah, I'll allow it. I'll allow it.
TALIESIN: Thank you.
MATT: You're blasting the tendril as it swings past and doesn't quite get purchase or it grabs the shield and you use the shield to (crunch) blast it back.
TALIESIN: Holy fucking shit. Okay. (laughter)
MARISHA: Yep, those are lots of sixes. That's a good roll.
TALIESIN: 21 points of force damage.
MATT: Nice!
ASHLEY: Dang.
TALIESIN: And I suppose it has to make--
MATT: Was it a reaction to do that?
TALIESIN: It is a reaction.
MATT: Have you used your reaction?
TALIESIN: Oh shit. I can't do it then, never mind.
MATT: Can't do it.
TALIESIN: I did already use my reaction, never mind.
TRAVIS: That's okay, you've been clutch.
TALIESIN: I don't care.
MATT: In your imagination, you have this really cool moment and then you look back and go, "Damn it." (laughter)
TALIESIN: That was the wisdom saving throw. Ah, oh.
MATT: Yep.
MARISHA: Daydreamed through your reaction.
MATT: All righty.
TRAVIS: Save it for the [Inaudible].
TALIESIN: That would've been clutch.
MATT: That finishes its turn because you're still holding your reaction as your held turn. It's also now going to go ahead and do a claw. So it does get two claw attacks after the Hungry Tendrils. That's going to be against both of you because you're the closest. So against you, Fjord. That is going to be a 23 to hit.
TRAVIS: 23 hits, but I'm going to roll my Armor of Hexes and roll a six, so he misses.
MATT: He does.
TRAVIS: She! Excuse me, she.
MARISHA: Oh! Hell yeah.
MATT: And then against you also with disadvantage. What would have been a natural 20 is instead turned into a 17.
SAM: Dude.
TALIESIN: I saw it happen on your face of that ah, oh.
MATT: Yeah, yeah. Well done. Well, it misses you.
MARISHA: All that viscous liquid he's covered in. He's just--
MATT: Indeed, you can attack, if you want to.
MARISHA: Ooh.
ASHLEY: Kill it, baby.
MARISHA: Because he's looking real bad, yeah?
ASHLEY: Yeah.
MARISHA: All right, yeah. Fuck it, let's go.
MATT: Okay, so you take your reaction to strike back after it misses you.
MARISHA: That's not a ki point, right?
MATT: No, it's just a reaction to do it.
MARISHA: Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it.
MATT: It's a ki point to get additional reactions.
MARISHA: Okay.
SAM: A whole other game going on over here.
MARISHA: 22.
MATT: Yeah. It's really fascinating.
MARISHA: 22.
MATT: 22.
MARISHA: Hits?
MATT: Yeah, that hits.
SAM: -- the ball out of the pucker.
MARISHA: I just get the one attack, right?
MATT: Circumstantially, we're never going to see the battlefield that they're in. I'll show you the break.
MARISHA: 14.
MATT: 14.
MARISHA: Points of damage.
MATT: Point of damage, great. And you take, in reaction to that--
MARISHA: That's okay.
MATT: 14 points of piercing damage.
MARISHA: Lord, have fucking mercy.
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: What?
MARISHA: I just took 14 points of damage for punching it, ouch.
MATT: That finishes--
TRAVIS: That sucks.
MATT: -- its turn, it's not going to move. Jester, you're up, with Veth on deck.
LAURA: Is the-- Is the gem back all the way up?
MATT: The gem has now been drawn back up into the space and you get the sense you have one more shot at this before it, it now has sensed danger around it. You guys managed to pull it partially free and it's been trying to recover it. Now that it's trying to withdraw it, this may be your last chance before it takes it away.
LAURA: Me and Caleb, or is it going to go back up after my turn?
MATT: We'll find out.
LIAM: Caleb is shaking a little pouch at Jester.
LAURA: (grunting) I'm going to pick up Caleb and lift him up so he can touch it.
MATT: Okay, so you're just using your turn--
LAURA: I'm using my turn to try--
MATT: No rolls needed. You go ahead and take Caleb and hold him aloft, which gets him to about a little over 20 feet. The stone now, you see it being slowly sunken back into the ceiling and it will be-- This is your last shot because it'll be out of touch range after your turn.
LIAM: Yeah.
SAM: Awesome.
MATT: Okay.
LIAM: Yeah.
MATT: That your turn, Jester? Veth, you're up with Yasha on deck.
LAURA: Teamwork.
MATT: That's awesome.
TALIESIN: (snaps) Another snap let go of the thing.
SAM: Another snap.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
SAM: Oh no, he's Jazzman again.
TALIESIN: We're Jazz-manning this. (laughter)
SAM: It looks scary over there, so I'm going to stay where I am. Calmly reload.
MATT: I would like for you to make a wisdom saving throw for me, please. As you reload and look around the corner towards it and you see it writhing in the middle of the darkness and suddenly there's (slurping) these weird symbols in a holographic way shimmering and then vanishing around its body, these patterns.
SAM: Nine.
MATT: Good to know. All right, continue with your turn.
SAM: Good to know.
TRAVIS: I got that also.
SAM: I don't like the, "Good to know." I will fire my crossbow bolt.
MATT: Roll for an attack.
SAM: 18 plus 11 probably hits.
MATT: That definitely hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
SAM: Sneak Attack damage.
MATT: Caduceus, you're--?
TRAVIS: With that handful of dice.
TALIESIN: I don't do this often, but yeah.
SAM: Oh ho ho, it's good. 10, 20.
TRAVIS: You doing it again?
ASHLEY: Come on, baby.
SAM: 30. 40.
TALIESIN: I want this over.
SAM: 40 points of damage.
MATT: Doubled to 80 because of Caduceus. How do you want to do this? (cheering)
MARISHA: There it is.
ASHLEY: There we go.
SAM: Man.
TALIESIN: Yeah, I wanted this over.
SAM: There's so many different body parts I can aim for. You know what I'm going to do, I'm aiming, I can't figure out what's a good part. I want to get to the undercarriage, so I'm going to try to skip it, skip the bolt off the flesh puddle and up.
MARISHA: Bounce it off the water bed?
TRAVIS: Ow!
MATT: You know how reflective flesh is with bolts. (laughter)
SAM: I lick it first, for a little spin. (laughter)
SAM: That does it right, in movies? I don't know.
TRAVIS: Yep, totally.
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN: I should watch some of those.
MATT: Okay. I'm trying to logic this in my brain (laughs).
SAM: I'd like to bend physics.
MATT: I understand. So here's what happens. As you go to fire, the creature begins to burrow its way into the flesh underground, like it's trying to escape or find more feasible defensive position and as it begins to burrow in as you skip downward, you watch as one of the arms pulls up and exposes the Cree head that's still screaming inside in the middle of the twisting skin and it (swoosh) hits right in the center of the head, at which point the body just (gurgles) immediately liquefies onto the ground.
LAURA: Ew, liquid flesh.
TRAVIS: Hexblade's Curse will get me 17 hit points back.
MATT: Indeed.
TRAVIS: Are there any immediate vials of blood in the liquid flesh stuff?
MATT: Oh yeah, you can find blood all throughout it, yeah.
TRAVIS: Okay. I start grabbing and grabbing, grab the stuff.
MARISHA: Y'all better just grab whatever's in there.
TALIESIN: Please.
MATT: Okay.
SAM: Are you hurt?
TALIESIN: I'm stuck.
SAM: Oh, you're stuck?
ASHLEY: I'm going to come out and peek out.
TRAVIS: No, no, no, I'll help, you're low.
ASHLEY: Oh, fair.
TRAVIS: I'll fire some Eldritch Blasts at the tendrils holding Caduceus.
MATT: Okay, we'll say it gives you your round and such, but you manage to go ahead and blast enough to give you advantage to try and break free. Go ahead and make it a strength--
TRAVIS: Just in case it whipped out.
MATT: Make a strength check with advantage.
TALIESIN: Hey, 15.
MATT: 15, easy enough. With Fjord's help clearing the way, you manage to stumble out of it.
TALIESIN: That's disgusting.
SAM: ♪ I want to break free ♪
MATT: To give it a little bit of a visual here because I can now that we're finished with this combat, I'm going to go ahead and drift over to the other chamber where you both are so you can see where it ends. (exclaiming)
SAM: There's a second chamber? All chambers are brought to you by Dwarven Forge. bit.ly/DwarvenForceCR, oh my god.
TRAVIS: You're a big blue gorilla, right?
LAURA: I'm a big blue ape.
SAM: Japester.
LAURA: (gorilla grunts)
MATT: There we go.
TRAVIS: Oh shit. Okay, all right.
LIAM: Get that blue ape.
MATT: There's where you are.
TRAVIS: (triumphant laughter)
LAURA: (gorilla grunts)
TRAVIS: Yes!
MATT: Big old ape right there. With a Caleb riding on top.
LAURA: Oh, we're in the midst of all this lava?
TRAVIS: Just as I planned.
MATT: That is not lava.
LIAM: Flesh lava.
TRAVIS: Yeah.
MARISHA: The flesh is lava.
TALIESIN: That's goop.
MATT: The Flesh is Lava is the worst game. (laughter)
TRAVIS: The Floor is Lava's one thing. The Floor is Flesh is fucking another.
LIAM: What a good way to die.
TRAVIS: Come home from elementary school, your mom's going to wonder about what games you're playing.
MATT: Indeed.
TRAVIS: (high-pitched) "The floor is flesh!" "What?!"
MARISHA: Yeah (laughs).
MATT: With that, Caleb, what are you going to do?
LIAM: So this is a two-part plan as Japester holds me up. First, I use a bonus action to have Cat's Ire yank it one last time, just as a bonus action.
MATT: All righty.
MARISHA: Roll good.
MATT: This is now drifting upward, we'll say--
TRAVIS: Dope mini.
LAURA: I'm trying to help you.
MARISHA: You're like the Bob's Big Boy.
LAURA: Yeah (laughs).
LIAM: Did you order a wizard, sir?
MARISHA: Yeah.
LIAM: Wizard, wizard?
MATT: I'd say right there is the Cat's Ire that's helping you out.
SAM: Fucking Matt.
MATT: So go ahead and roll.
LIAM: 18. 18 with the paw strength.
MATT: 18? 18 isn't enough.
LIAM: Isn't enough?
MATT: It's not helping.
LIAM: That's okay. Second thing I'm going to do is smash a bag of gold dust across it and before it goes all the way in, cast Immovable Object on the gem.
TALIESIN: What?
MATT: As all the tendrils tighten and pull, the threshold crest (clicks) becomes a fixed point in space. (cheering)
MARISHA: Brilliant!
TRAVIS: You are the best!
MATT: And you watch as--
MARISHA: That is so good!
MATT: The tendrils are attempting to pull and pull and as it extends, it's unable to grasp the stone. It's stuck just beyond its ability to connect.
ASHLEY: Good job.
SAM: Nice.
LIAM: I say: Ha ha, go to hell, dream people. And I will use my movement to turn and curl like a small baby monkey into the grip of mama monkey.
MATT: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Checking for ticks.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: Yeah, I start looking for ticks.
SAM: Probably lots of ticks.
LIAM: (panting)
MATT: How long does that last?
TRAVIS: Pulling off his ears.
LIAM: One hour.
MATT: One hour, you got it.
TRAVIS: (crunch) Ah!
LIAM: And it's got a password to be moved.
MATT: You've got it.
TRAVIS: Oh wow. What a fucking spell, man.
ASHLEY: Good idea.
SAM: What's the password?
TRAVIS: Holy shit.
LIAM: I'll tell you when you get here.
MATT: All right, so the rest of you, I gather you're going to catch up with your friends?
ASHLEY: We were able to get all Cree's stuff?
MARISHA: Yeah, anything in Cree's fleshy sack?
MATT: Make an investigation check.
TRAVIS: Could I assist?
MARISHA: Yep, thank you.
LIAM: He has to get here.
MARISHA: All right, that's okay, 23. 23.
MATT: Okay. You find within, and it'll take you a little bit.
LIAM: When spoken.
TRAVIS: (squelching)
TALIESIN: Double Dare.
MATT: Yeah, it's--
MARISHA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Did you say Double Dare?
MATT: Yeah.
TRAVIS: That's horrible. That's Double Dare.
MARISHA: Gotta go up the nose, exactly.
MATT: Yep.
TRAVIS: Oh my god, yes.
MATT: You are reaching through the people slurry to find--
TRAVIS: Wow.
MARISHA: People slurry.
TRAVIS: Find the flag. (laughter)
MATT: Marc Summers could not deal with this.
TRAVIS: Nope.
MATT: Sorry, Marc. You find the war pick that Cree had at her side, though you never see her use it. You found a satchel that contains numerous, numerous capsules of blood.
MARISHA: Yes.
MATT: You also find a Cape of the Mountebank.
MARISHA: Yes.
TRAVIS: Cape of the what?
TALIESIN: Cape of the Mountebank.
MARISHA: That's what she was using to bamf.
LIAM: Vax had that for five minutes.
MATT: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Mountebank?
LIAM: That's how he turned on the acid.
MATT and LAURA: (exaggerated French accent) Mountebank.
SAM: One of his 17 cloaks?
MATT: My apologies if you are French.
TRAVIS: On the rack.
TALIESIN: From the cloak room.
MARISHA: It didn't match his aesthetics, though.
MATT: Indeed, that is what you find. Everything else--
MARISHA: What was that?
MATT: That is what you find, everything else seems to have been either assimilated or destroyed.
MARISHA: So war pick, capsules of blood, the cape.
MATT: Correct.
MARISHA: Okay. Cool, cool, cool, cool. All right.
LIAM: You're still an ape and I still have Cat's Ire up. So the two of them could--
TRAVIS: Do we identify, of those individual blood capsules, the one that was hanging around her neck? It had a piece of leather and it was a smaller one?
MARISHA: Yeah, the little bead.
TRAVIS: Can we see that in the goop? Because I would look for that more than the individual ones.
MATT: Make an investigation check on your own, if you don't mind.
ASHLEY: Also-- Can I assist him?
SAM: Also! (laughter)
TRAVIS: 13 plus seven, 20.
MATT: 20.
MARISHA: Pretty good.
MATT: You don't need to assist.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay.
MATT: And no, you couldn't have, because this was his--
ASHLEY: I know, I know.
MATT: Just making a point there.
ASHLEY: Just grasping at straws here.
MATT: I know, and I appreciate that.
TALIESIN: Who doesn't love straws?
ASHLEY: I know!
MATT: You do manage to find it. You find the tether and the orb that contains, it looks like it's about 80 to 85% filled with a blood-like viscous liquid that as you turn it over, you can see it shift within.
TRAVIS: Okay. Got this.
SAM: What's that?
TRAVIS: I don't know, it was what was around her neck. Obviously it had a place of pride, so important, maybe?
MARISHA: Yeah.
SAM: Yes, good.
TRAVIS: All right, I'll hold onto it. I'll tie it, wrap it around my hand, so I palm it.
MARISHA: I wonder if that's Lucien's or something?
TRAVIS: It could be.
ASHLEY: Should we go see what's going on?
TRAVIS: Yeah, we should go.
TALIESIN: I'm already making my way into the--
ALL: ♪ Making my way ♪
SAM: How are your eyes, Beau? Same, normal?
MARISHA: How are they?
MATT: Seems normal.
MARISHA: Seems okay.
SAM: Okay.
MARISHA: I was getting--
MATT: Though as you hear Veth saying this and you look at yourself and you're fine, you look up at Veth and as Veth is looking at you with intent, you see a red eye in the center of Veth's forehead.
MARISHA: No way! For real?
MATT: Yeah.
SAM: Why are you looking at me?
MARISHA: Uh-oh.
TRAVIS: What?
MARISHA: Uh-oh, look at Veth's forehead.
TRAVIS: We look at Veth's forehead.
MATT: You see one of the red eyes of the Somnovem.
TRAVIS: Ooh! You have a-- poke your forehead, poke it.
MARISHA: Is that because you got the killing blow on Cree?
SAM: Maybe?
MARISHA: Does anybody else have one?
TRAVIS: I start looking, looking, looking.
MARISHA: Yasha? I lift up the back of Yasha's shirt. Look on her back.
MATT: Yasha is fine.
ASHLEY: I get completely naked. (laughter)
TRAVIS: Whoa, whoa.
MATT: Yasha's fine.
LIAM: Heavy metal.
MATT: You--
TRAVIS: No.
MATT: -- find in the center of the left palm, a red eye.
ASHLEY: Caduceus?
MATT: And you remember-- Well, Caduceus has already bolted off.
TALIESIN: I'm already in the other room.
MATT: You recall that when you saw that flash of a pattern, there was this faint tickle on your hand that you didn't connect to anything in the middle of the moment.
TRAVIS: I touch Veth's forehead.
TRAVIS and SAM: (screaming)
MATT: I need you both to-- no. (laughter)
TRAVIS and LIAM: (slurping)
SAM: (British accent) Hello, I'm Fjord now.
TRAVIS: (screams like Veth) (laughter)
SAM: (like Fjord) Why is everyone looking at me like that?
TRAVIS: (screeches like Veth)
LAURA: (screeches like Veth)
SAM: Wee!
TRAVIS: (like Veth) I'm a goblin!
ASHLEY: Okay. Wait, did you fail?
TRAVIS: We should go. We should catch up, yes?
SAM: I failed.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MARISHA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: We'll figure this out.
ASHLEY: Let's go, let's go.
TRAVIS: We're running.
MARISHA: Okay.
ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SAM: Fine.
MATT: All right. Caduceus, you're the first to arrive into this chamber and looking across the way, you can see there, floating in the air, the Cat's Ire arcane claw hovering, a massive blue ape that is cradling a very tired Caleb, and there you see just below the ceiling edifice to where the threshold crest would be held is the threshold crest, but just held aloft mystically.
TALIESIN: Wow.
ASHLEY: Essek, can I give you a quick look-see? Because I think you-- (whispering) think you failed a wisdom saving throw at one point.
MATT: Essek looks at his hands. "I think I'm fine."
ASHLEY: Okay, well.
SAM: Want to put on some clothes there, Yasha?
ASHLEY: No.
MATT: He pulls up the sleeves on his arm. Nothing there, and he turns around and pulls back the mantle, and on the right shoulder blade, you see a red eye.
LAURA: (gasps)
LIAM: (groans)
LAURA: Oops!
TRAVIS: So we kind of joined you in your things. How's that going?
LIAM: Jester. I tap her cheek. You can put me down, thank you.
LAURA: (grunts)
TALIESIN: Are we okay with this, or do we want to try and--
LIAM: No, this is a stopgap measure. We've got about 59 minutes left where that is held in place before the ceiling starts to suck it back in. I think maybe we try to burn, slash, destroy the flesh around it.
TALIESIN: What do you think about necrotic, necromantic power?
LIAM: I think so, and I can make it. Right now, I have it held in place, and I can let it drop if we can get all of the fleshy goo to let go of it.
TALIESIN: Well, I've got some stuff I can do, but we should wait, if we've got a little time, we should probably wait.
ASHLEY: I could try to start hacking away.
TALIESIN: And, I got to say, I'm running out of tricks.
LAURA: Yeah, I go and I pick Yasha up and I just lift her up to it so she can hack at it, if she wants to.
TRAVIS: She's super low on health, by the way, just in case we're interrupted.
LIAM: So am I.
ASHLEY: Well, we can, if we can take a napsies.
TALIESIN: I can burn a spell.
SAM: If we get this thing down, that will take the immediate threat off of us.
LIAM: If we can get it down quick, I can hold it in place on the ground, and then we can rest.
SAM: I can blow it up.
TALIESIN: Let me try something.
SAM: I can blow it up.
TALIESIN: You ready?
TRAVIS and LAURA: Yeah.
LIAM: Oh, pull Yasha away.
TRAVIS: I'll stand up by the hallway, actually, the one that we came down, and just keep eye on the hallway of esophagus.
SAM: Which eye? This eye?
LAURA: Yeah, I hold Yasha and I walk to--
ASHLEY: To go over here.
LAURA: To the door.
TALIESIN: I assume that I can target this thing with a Blight spell, right?
MATT: Hold on, I need to grab
SAM: Using the wrong palm.
LAURA: Like you're Ronin.
TALIESIN: Oh, wow.
SAM: Oh, sorry, yes, we are part of the Nonagon now, sorry.
LIAM: The claw's probably gone now.
TALIESIN: I'm going to do a quick eyeball check.
MARISHA: Yeah, Caduceus.
TALIESIN: Quick eyeball check.
MARISHA: Look under Caduceus' shirt, in the back as well.
TALIESIN: Eyeball check.
MARISHA: Eyeball check.
MATT: Caduceus, right in the center of the clavicle, on the chest, there is a red eye.
TRAVIS: Who's the only one that doesn't have one?
MARISHA: Jester.
SAM: Yasha.
LAURA: And Yasha.
TRAVIS: Jester and Yasha. Okay.
ASHLEY: You and me, baby.
TRAVIS: Ooh shit, that's going to have a consequence.
LAURA: I'm holding Yasha like a little baby and we're walking out, you know, farther from the stone so Caduceus can try something.
TALIESIN: We may need you to go in right after I'm done.
ASHLEY: Okay.
LIAM: All right, I'll stand with Caduceus.
TALIESIN: Yeah, this is a 30-foot spell, so I got some room.
MATT: Okay, you still have to get somewhat near the center to do it, just because it is about 20, 25 feet up.
TALIESIN: Sure.
MATT: Though it's only 20 feet up because of your spell, so.
TALIESIN: I'll take another step back. Get away from all that flesh. Well, the flesh, it seems like it's being fine.
MATT: The rest of the group's just--
TALIESIN: Eh, you know what, step further, this might piss off the flesh.
MATT: A step further and it may not be in range.
TALIESIN: Towards the other side of the room, yeah. I mean, straight towards me, yeah.
MATT: Okay, there you go. Beau, where are you headed?
MARISHA: I'll stand back.
MATT: Okay, Jester? Oh, you are an ape. Okay, what are you going to try?
TALIESIN: Casting Blight at 5th-level.
MATT: Ooh! Roll some damage.
TALIESIN: It doesn't get to make a save, does it?
MATT: It does.
TALIESIN: Okay, constitution save.
MATT: Rolled super low. No, that's like a 15, yeah. Even with its crazy bonuses for being Cognouza.
LAURA: For being a city.
MATT: For being a city.
ASHLEY: For being a city.
TALIESIN: 31 points of necrotic damage.
MATT: Okay. The elements of the ceiling that were reaching for the stone and all the tendrils that are wrapped around the stone, even though Yasha, you were carving a couple away for a brief moment, you saw more emerge from behind it.
TALIESIN: Shit roll.
MATT: You get the sense this isn't going to run out of matter to throw in the direction of retrieving this stone in its proximity, but the necrotic damage that you deal causes that flesh all at once to blacken and curl backward. If it could make a sound, you could almost imagine a high-pitched screech as that portion of the ceiling goes from an extension into a withdrawing entity that feels horrible pain as black, ruined, necrotic flesh drops from the ceiling leaving about a five-foot gap from the top of where it was into where the stone currently is.
LIAM: I speak the words, einen Moment.
MATT: (whooshing) (impact)
SAM: Oh god!
MATT: It drops from the ceiling, impacts the sigil on the floor.
SAM: Ow, my foot! (laughter)
TRAVIS: Does it crack at all, or does it stay in one piece from the--
MATT: It stays in one piece, from what you can tell. You'd have to give it a heavier inspection to see if there's any damage.
LAURA: I run over and grab it so that the ground can't scoop it back up.
MATT: Okay. You pick it up.
LAURA: I put Yasha down.
ASHLEY: I'm still holding onto you.
LAURA: Okay, yeah, hold onto me, I'm just going to hold this stone, too.
LIAM: For one minute, and then it's locked in place again.
SAM: Wait, what?
LIAM: So I spoke a password that lets it be moved for one minute, and then it locks where it is.
LAURA: I'm going to run it up to outside of this chamber and put it in the hallway.
LIAM: Baller.
MATT: Okay. Right as you get there, you almost reach the point you're intending to, but then it stops in place and catches you there, but it's functional where it is.
LIAM: Okay, so maybe 55 minutes or so.
TRAVIS: We killed Cree and what became of Cree. Who knows where Lucien might be, but for the moment we could take up defensive positions here if we wanted to rest.
TALIESIN: Maybe not here. This seems like the obvious place to find us.
MARISHA: I think he can find us wherever we go.
TALIESIN: I don't think he can. Well--
TRAVIS: Have you heard anything, the two of you? Have you picked up anything else?
MARISHA: Yeah. When he was--
LIAM: When I heard all the screaming from back by you guys.
MARISHA: That was Cree. She reached out telepathically and was asking for the Nonagon's help, and then he said something. He wasn't ready, he needed more time, and that she would be a "vessel of the pattern." So I'm assuming that weird, fractal glitch essence that was around her, it reminded me of the tome, right? It reminded me of the tome.
LIAM: What hypnotized us.
MARISHA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: We catch up Jester and Caleb on what we saw when Cree changed into the other form.
LAURA: Should I check myself for eyes?
SAM: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Yes.
TRAVIS: You're an ape, right?
LAURA: Oh. (ape noises)
SAM: Wait, it's trying to tell us something!
LAURA: I'll drop Polymorph.
MATT: Okay.
LIAM: Yes, we have no bananas.
TRAVIS: Is it 10 minutes?
LAURA: No, it's an hour. I could stay an ape for a long time, but... Huh? (confused noises) Do I have any eyes?
MATT: You don't see any eyes, no.
LAURA: Sweet.
SAM: What were some of the powers that you guys have? Truesight and telepathy.
LIAM: Darkvision and sending telepathic messages.
SAM: Okay, I'm going to try to send a message to everybody else. Woodchuck to gray squirrel. Come in, gray squirrel. Woodchuck here.
MATT: Those of you with eyes hear Veth's voice.
TRAVIS: Oh my god!
TALIESIN: Well, that's unpleasant.
LIAM: But.
SAM: Yasha, you heard it, too, right?
LIAM: Did Jester hear it? You didn't hear it.
SAM: Because we have a super psychic connection?
ASHLEY: I didn't. I think it's just the flesh is loud in here. I don't know, I didn't hear.
SAM: Maybe this blocks it.
ASHLEY: It could.
SAM: Oh no.
LAURA: Caleb, should you put the stone inside the amber hold for now?
LIAM: I can do that; that will take 20 minutes. I know we wanted to try to rest up a bit.
LAURA: I just, in case Lucien pops in, if Cree was calling for him or something, then I feel like we should hide the stone so he can't get it right away.
TRAVIS: If he thinks he's almost done, and he completes whatever he needs to finish, and it doesn't work, he's coming here.
LAURA: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Would it be insane to Plane Shift this thing away?
LAURA: I mean, I have Plane Shift, but I can only use it once.
TALIESIN: A day.
LAURA: I mean--
TRAVIS: Oh, and you were planning on using it for us?
SAM: To get out of here.
TALIESIN: I mean, I guess I could try to Plane Shift. Let me see.
ASHLEY: Do you have it, too?
TALIESIN: Yeah, I have it.
LAURA: I have it prepared, yeah.
LIAM: I know we want to try to really rest, if we can, somewhere, so presumably you could restore your reserves if we did.
TALIESIN: Going to have to, we are broken.
MATT: "I'm hurting quite a bit myself."
LAURA: Hey, Arty? I have a question.
MATT: And the crimson weasel emerges. (squeaks)
TRAVIS: Fuck.
LAURA: You know how you were telling me how time is different in the fey realm?
MATT: (chitters)
LAURA: What if we Plane Shift there?
MATT: (chitters) It's just a weasel. And in a moment, the weasel goes, like it ate something weird, and all of a sudden, "Terribly sorry about that, I was concentrating elsewhere. I had to come and inhabit the weasel. I heard you say something, what were you doing?"
MARISHA: Inhabit the weasel!
LAURA: The time. You said time is weird in the fey realm, right?
MATT: "Yes, time is strange all over, but definitely in the fey realm, yes."
LAURA: What if, could you, could we go there? Could you pop us in there? Could we get some sleep?
MATT: "I imagine we could."
LAURA: If we did, would we be able to come back without a lot of time passing?
MATT: "I've done it before, but I'm a bit scattered in my power at the moment between a few... I can try, but I can't guarantee it. I'm... I can try, but I can't guarantee it. I'm... Well, I've--"
TRAVIS: Crazy good idea.
MATT: "Since I've begun gifting my abilities and my wondrous blessings upon others, I've been a bit diluted."
LAURA: Right.
MATT: "But I can give it a shot."
LAURA: Would we be able to get back here if we needed to?
MATT: "Back here, I don't know. This place is strange. At the very least, you could probably make it back to the Astral Sea."
LAURA: Okay.
MATT: Do you need an object to ground it?
MARISHA: Yeah, like a tuning fork?
LAURA: I don't know, do you need the same sort of things?
MATT: "I imagine so, something attuned to it, yes."
LAURA: Oh.
SAM: Wait, so if we went, you're talking about taking us all there now?
LAURA: Yeah.
MARISHA: Do you still have that tuning fork that you grabbed from the portal?
MATT: You didn't grab it, you grabbed the lever instead.
MARISHA: You grabbed the lever, that's right.
MATT: That would have been exactly what you would have needed.
LIAM: And there's none here, since it's a similar gate?
MATT: You have no idea. You've seen nothing like that, and it's like a piece of it, it's a specific object that is attuned to this plane.
TRAVIS: But you're right on, I mean, we have the piece of the circuit that he needs. At the very least, if it leaves, that's it.
LAURA: Yeah, if we take the threshold crest, he can't bring the city back.
SAM: We hope.
TRAVIS: Yeah.
TALIESIN: At least it's going to slow him down a little bit.
MARISHA: It'll slow him down. I have a feeling whatever he is not ready for, whatever he's doing, it's some sort of assimilation into being a Nonagon, I think he's--
TRAVIS: How long do you need?
LAURA: For what?
TRAVIS: Plane Shift.
LAURA: I mean, it's instant.
TALIESIN: You or me?
LAURA: Would we just Plane Shift back? We would just go home, then?
TRAVIS: Who says we come back? We can try, but if we can't, this thing is floating in the Astral Sea.
LAURA: I have the tuning fork.
TALIESIN: Just to go home, not to come back.
LIAM: If we leave, though, we'd have to find Lucien all over again. He isn't going to stop, he's going to do it again.
MARISHA: Be reborn. Is that what you think?
TALIESIN: Just the stone. We just throw the stone into the--
LAURA: We just send the stone?
LIAM: Yes. And we stay behind, clean up this mess.
MATT: Essek is currently breathing heavy. Essek's pretty hurt, goes, "We mentioned time being strange in places, yes? We've dabbled a bit in strange time. Isn't that right, Caleb?"
LIAM: Well. In little dribs and drabs, and we've just found a very interesting lead, but that's not quite as-- What are you thinking?
LAURA: Can you freeze time?
MARISHA: Are you suggesting you experiment with some untested dunamancy shit that hasn't seen the light of day for 2,000 years? Is that what you're suggesting?
LAURA: So we can sleep?
MATT: "That is precisely what I went into studying for, to be honest, but there was a device in Aeor that we had come across that you had utilized."
MARISHA: The Happy Fun Ball?
LAURA: That's right!
TRAVIS: Oh.
MARISHA: Oh.
TRAVIS: Wait.
LIAM: The lead-lined chamber.
MARISHA: Yeah, the tubes?
MATT: Right.
TRAVIS: Oh, the regeneration capsule!
MATT: "Do we still have that piece?"
LIAM: Yeah, yes. Ping.
LAURA: Yeah, yeah.
MATT: "It's worth a shot, but if we would be able to reenact that skip in time forward."
LAURA: In, like, a bubble? Could you put up the dome and we use the-- Is that stupid?
TALIESIN: No.
LAURA: I don't know how this shit works.
TRAVIS: Are you talking about the individual capsule we were in or a room that we could all be in?
LAURA: Yeah, if we could put up the dome and make it work like the tube.
MATT: "It was designed for... What we had seen was designed for a specific individual, for repeated uses. We managed to acquire, mine from it, this source, this dunamantic source crystal. I do not believe it would survive such a-- What is the term in Common? Overclocking?"
LAURA: So it would be enough for one time, all of us get a good restoration.
MATT: "If it works."
LIAM: If we what? Crush it inside of the dome?
MATT: "At least focus what powers I have left and you have to give into it together."
MARISHA: Be fully restored in a matter of minutes?
MATT: "Seconds, if it's successful."
LAURA: Oh my god.
ASHLEY: Wow.
MATT: "Or it could destroy and unravel time entirely in ways that we have not seen."
MARISHA: Well.
TALIESIN: Considering where we are.
MARISHA: Exactly, we're in the middle of the Astral Sea. But to that point, though, everything here is a fractal, everything from the tome to the city to nine bodies inside of nine Somnovem. Everything is a fractal, so... What does that do? What does that do if you start messing with time in a place where...
LAURA: Lucien is coming, Lucien is coming! Whatever we decide, we have to do it quickly, because we have to get rid of this threshold crest!
TRAVIS: The threshold crest: The fire plane?
LAURA: We got to do that now!
LIAM: Stop him, no matter what, if we die, it's gone.
TRAVIS: Yeah.
TALIESIN: I'll take it.
LAURA: I'm holding it.
TALIESIN: I assume you're pretty-- Put it down, I would imagine.
LAURA: Where are you sending it?
TALIESIN: Home.
TRAVIS: Home where?
TALIESIN: Our plane of existence.
LAURA: Don't we have that thing attuned to the fire plane? Maybe we should send it to that location.
TALIESIN: Do we have a fire plane attuned--
LIAM: We do, that we took from Yussa's tower.
TALIESIN: I'll take that.
TRAVIS: Yeah, lava, you know, burning rock or overwatching fire demon, whatever.
SAM: But we're not going to leave, right?
LAURA: No.
SAM: Okay.
TALIESIN: Are we all in agreement?
TRAVIS, LAURA, and MARISHA: Yes.
TALIESIN: I'm going to use the tuning fork and I'm going to send that piece of rock to the fire plane.
MATT: You see it still affixed in the middle of the air, the dunamantic energies that currently hold it in place occasionally flickering around it like this translucent field of purple gray energy that occasionally flashes, and as Caduceus strikes the fork upon it and it begins to vibrate, you see that shield begin to turn orange, brighter and brighter, like it becomes luminescent, like it is heated to a bright, orange red, iron-like coloration before it (whooshes) is gone.
LIAM: Get wrecked, Nonagon.
TALIESIN: (snapping) Here you go. I'm going to sit down now.
TRAVIS: Great, great idea.
LIAM: That's one problem solved.
MARISHA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Great idea.
LAURA: So whatever happens now, he can't bring the city home.
SAM: So we win. We won.
LAURA: We won, now we just have to--
TALIESIN: No.
LIAM: For today.
MATT: "Until he finds another."
MARISHA: Exactly, he can always go back and get more threshold crests.
TALIESIN: He may know that there's one here.
LAURA: But still, that gives us some time.
MARISHA: But for today, it gives us time.
SAM: If he goes back to find more, we just find the other one here and get that one.
MARISHA: I don't think he's going to go back anytime soon.
TALIESIN: There might be more here. He needed a few to get here.
LAURA and MARISHA: He needed two.
TALIESIN: There might already be a bunch here that we don't know about.
LAURA: (groans)
TALIESIN: Let's just assume he's got a plan B.
LIAM: Yeah, he's here now with us. We finish this properly now.
LAURA: Then we fake rest and we go find him.
TALIESIN: Let's get out of this room, I think.
TRAVIS: Do we take our rest back at Aeor, meaning we use your Plane Shift to go back?
LAURA: No, because then we can't get back. We're not going to Plane Shift to Aeor, we're going to Plane Shift to Exandria.
TALIESIN: We need to--
TRAVIS: I think the regeneration capsule that Essek was talking about is in Aeor, right?
MARISHA: No, he's saying recreate it here.
LIAM: We're talking about jury rigging the dome.
MARISHA: Yes, yeah.
TRAVIS: I understand, okay, sorry.
MATT: "We robbed one crystal from one of the devices there and took it with us."
TRAVIS: I remember, okay, great, cool, good.
TALIESIN: I say it's worth a shot.
LAURA: Yeah.
SAM: Let's do it. I mean, what other room are we going to? Not that flesh tunnel, right?
TALIESIN: Fair point.
LAURA: If anything, we would go up into one of the houses.
SAM: That are also alive.
LAURA: Yeah.
LIAM: We also, we're close to that hallway that said, "Help help help." Don't forget that Yussa is here somewhere.
LAURA: Then let's just do it here.
LIAM: Yes, I agree.
LAURA: Take a couple seconds and go.
TALIESIN: All right.
ASHLEY: But what if it does go bad? What does that mean?
MARISHA: Yeah, I agree.
ASHLEY: Does that just get rid of this place? Would we all just disappear, or just everything?
TRAVIS: (laughs) Answer that!
MARISHA: I agree, though.
MATT: "I don't know."
TRAVIS: (laughs)
ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
TALIESIN: I'm genuinely--
MATT: "That is the risk that I'm presenting here. But we would not have achieved a lot of the great things that we have as people through history, let alone together as friends, if we didn't take risks."
TRAVIS: Yeah!
SAM: (uncertain) Uh!
LIAM: This is a short term jump, relatively speaking.
MATT: "Correct."
LIAM: We are not going to go back 500 years and undo all of history.
ASHLEY: I don't worry about that, I just worry about, what if we just end everything?
SAM: Or end us? I can't really die.
MARISHA: I'm more concerned about the fact that everything here just seems to splinter off into a bajillion different pathways to an infinity, so I hope we don't all turn into dust, is all I'm saying.
TALIESIN: Considering the options currently available, that actually seems like a relatively light way to go.
MARISHA: I thought you were a Clay.
LAURA: (laughs)
TALIESIN: I don't know how to put this, but we are currently on what is possibly the universe's largest cadaver. This is what I was born to do, is put this thing fucking down. Let's end this shit.
LIAM: Brilliant.
TALIESIN: Thank you. Wow, I said a lot of words.
MATT: "Including a curse word. That's the first time I've heard you use one."
TALIESIN: Me too! This place is getting to me.
MATT: "I think it's getting to all of us."
ASHLEY: Veth? You're the one with the kid.
SAM: Are we going to die? Are we about to die?
LAURA: I don't think we're going to die, I think we're going to rest.
MATT: "I don't think it would destroy us. If things go wrong, it might take things a little strange."
LAURA: Arty will protect us, don't worry.
SAM: Well, I guess that's reassuring. He's been killed several times and not died.
TRAVIS: (like Sprinkle) Why can't I die? (laughter)
SAM: All right.
LIAM: It's like get this thing out of me.
TRAVIS: (like Sprinkle) Leave my body! (laughter)
SAM: All right, sure, let's try to get a super fast rest with science.
MATT: "Here, right now?"
MARISHA: Yeah, let's do it.
LAURA: Yeah.
MARISHA: I swear to god, Essek, if you fuck this up.
TRAVIS: Well, you wouldn't really around to do anything after that.
MARISHA: Nope, but I just-- My essence will haunt you.
TRAVIS: True enough.
TALIESIN: Guidance.
MATT: "And I would deserve it, like I deserve all of the things that haunt me."
LAURA: Aw, Essek.
MARISHA: Mood killer.
MATT: "Don't offer me any solace."
TRAVIS: Okay.
SAM: Yeah, you're a horrible person.
TALIESIN: And now that we have established it, let's help save the world.
LIAM: Actually, I have to do one thing very quickly. Can I have one of those residuum crystals, please?
SAM: Yes, of course. The shards?
LIAM: Yes. Very quickly, I get down on the ground and I take off... I don't take it off, I hold the residuum shard in one hand, and I hold it together with the medallion that I'm wearing and I'm going to cast Fabricate and slowly melt the residuum around the necklace.
MATT: Hm, okay, interesting.
SAM: What will that do?
LIAM: Okay, let's do this wildly foolish risk.
TALIESIN: Jester, you want Guidance on Caleb, and--
LAURA: (clapping) (hand rubbing)
MARISHA: All right.
MATT: "All right, gather close."
ASHLEY: For science.
MARISHA: Do we huddle up?
MATT: "Who has the object?"
MARISHA: Do we touch each other? What do we do?
LAURA: Oh.
LIAM: Do we want-- Is there any-- Is there any practical reason to surround us in a dome bubble to do this, or do we think--
MATT: "I think it will be fine, if we do it quickly."
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: He can dispel anything he comes across.
MATT: As you all begin to gather up, he pulls out a piece of dark chalk and finds a section of the floor, and begins to draw different dunamantic symbols in this patterned array, making you progressively more and more uncomfortable as the designs begin to come together, and some of them are little more intricate for even your understanding, but you begin to pick up the basics of it, using this stone as a focus, not unlike how residuum is used as an amplifier device in, you know, a number of other laboratories. But as you all gather around, he sits and places the stone in the middle of it and then sits on one side of it and gestures for you to get on the opposite end.
LIAM: Beauregard, you know, if you count Sprinkle, there are nine of us.
MARISHA: What? Sprinkle?
LAURA: We are the Nonagon!
TRAVIS: TWK incoming. Total world kill.
MATT: Now. What's your highest currently available spell slot?
LIAM: High? Oh, not that high. 5th.
MATT: 5th, okay. It's going to take a roll from you and Essek, and you get to add five to that roll because that is the spell level spent on it.
LAURA: Oh dang.
MATT: He's dropping his 8th-level spell that he's been saving this whole time.
LAURA: We can't help? I mean, we've guided, that's all we can do.
MATT: Guiding helps.
LAURA: We'll add a four, a d4.
LIAM: Is it adding arcana or anything, or it's just a d20 plus--
MATT: Plus the power of the spell that you are power this with.
LIAM: Got it, plus Guidance.
TRAVIS: I grab Jester's hand.
SAM: Ooh!
LIAM: Rocking.
MARISHA: Come on.
MATT: I'm going to roll it out front.
LIAM: Rocking. Did very well.
MATT: Natural 20. (cheering)
LAURA: Essek!
MARISHA: Oh!
MATT: Plus two. Plus eight, so that's a 30 from Essek.
LIAM: Dirty 24.
MATT: Dirty 24.
MARISHA: Oh, we're not going to die!
MATT: No. Combined 40 was my threshold on that.
LAURA: Oh my god.
MATT: Combined 40.
SAM: Combined 40?
TRAVIS: Wow! Holy shit.
SAM: Whoa!
MARISHA: What would've happened if not?
MATT: That's in this post-campaign conversation. But for now.
TRAVIS: You don't know.
MATT: For now, there's that brief moment where you see Essek, sweat beginning to form on his forehead as he's concentrating, and as you're focusing your spell energy towards this crystal, you see it begin to glow brighter and brighter and brighter, not unlike the way that the threshold crest was taking on that filament-like brightness, but this itself has a deep, deep purplish hue, and you see it begin to flicker, not unlike the symbol that you were seeing, which makes you extremely uncomfortable. In a moment, you feel this urge to just rush in and stop it, but as you do, Essek twitches his arms around it and then draws his fingers in two different directions, and you see this small tear in reality, a break in reality, if you will. And with that, you can see, in a brief moment, in this sliver, hundreds of realities just brushing by at an endless speed. He begins to take and fold that tear around, like if the tear in space time became a thread, and wrap it around this stone, and as soon as it begins to close on it, (sizzling) (shattering) it shatters, and we're going to go to break. (groaning)
ASHLEY: That was so [Inaudible].
LIAM: Winners!
MARISHA: Amazing.
MATT: Magic's weird, y'all.
MARISHA: Holy shit!
MATT: We'll come back here in a few minutes to pick that up from here. So yeah, we'll see you here in a little bit.
ASHLEY: God.
TRAVIS: Woo!
Break
(NARRATOR) Descending into the dark Dungeons of forgotten memories. The mighty guardian found himself caught in an ambush an old but familiar magic whispering a call to adventure. Compelled by fate, he summoned the old fellowship. Alright, boys, what's the plan of attack here. (BOY in vest) You gotta get the key. And then we've got to go to the exit (BOY in stripped jacket) alright, take out this little spider looking thing. (GIRL) Do it Don! Take him out. (DON) Where we going? We go in here. Chest. Oh, we got a card. (BOY in vest) whoa, nice. (GIRL) Do I need to save you? (DON) A card, you got a card? (GIRL)Okay, hang on, I got this. What about this door over here? (DON) I have a feeling this will get ugly. (dramatic music) (BOY in vest) They're killing you man. I'm about to die! We got this clown. Come on! (BOY in vest) We've got your back. (DON) Here they come. (GIRL) I got you. I got you. (BOY in vest) Let's do this. (ALL) whoa, nice!
(dramatic music) (NARRATOR) This is everything you need to know about our terrain in 60 seconds. We hand sculpt our pieces for maximum detail and artistry infusing passion into every millimeter of our work. Everything is available, beautifully hand painted so you can start playing right away or you can choose unpainted to paint everything yourself. Our pieces are completely modular, so you can use the same sets to create a new adventure every time. We create everything out of dwarvenite our top secret PVC formula, that's nearly indestructible. We pack our pieces with as many features as possible, such as swappable LEDs to quickly change the look of your scene. We offer magnetic accessories to add flavor or increase the danger. A one inch tactical grid is sculpted into our floors. We offer a range of environments including Dungeons, caverns, cities, castles, sewers, forest mountain, streets, Burroughs, ice, and hell scape. And that's just the beginning. That's everything you need to know about Dwarven Forge in 60 seconds. (Dramatic Music)
I love narrative telephone because it just feels like what it feels like to be a DM from week to week. Like, what did I say? This is my pitch for the next season for at least one episode when we can be together again in life. Here's my pitch. We do it live, right? Someone tells a story and then like like in the next room over, someone's watching it. My pitch is to have somebody tell Ashley a story and then she tells it to camera. And then a week later she comes back and tries to tell it again. Her own story? And then she comes back a week later and tries to tell it again. That's pretty good. No, we don't need it, we have more than enough content. So much content. (MAN top right corner) It's drunk history, but it's just it's just Ashley and not drunk, just Ashley. Honestly, this might have to be the Christmas special or something. No, no, stop it. Yes! Stop it. No more ideas.
(music) Get up there Sam, you can do it. You got this Push it Just a quick climb guys. You keep going. Is your wife home with the defibrillator if we need one? Just in case. I know you're not a young chap anymore. I just had no idea that, like, you were just going to be on your Peloton this time. I was genuinely like you were we were prepping before the episode and everybody's on camera. And I just thought you were choosing to wear like a slip. You just thought I dress like this. This is a really weird choice, Sam, but.. I like we're at that part in our relationship where you're like, well this is a mistake for him but I'm not even going to bring it up. I'm just going to let him make it. It's fine.
LAURA: (music) Hey, critters, Laura Bailey here. Let's see what's up in the critical roles shop Roll an investigation if you want, it's basically perfect. Go ahead, darling. Treat yourself. Check out the details on this thing. I mean the traveler always says impulse purchases are a good decision. This is, this is a lot of stuff you guys. We have like so many cool things right now. So click on over to the critical role shop. Don't worry. There's a few more minutes in the break. You still got time.
TALIESIN: Like a symphony playing to an empty theater critical role dines alone without its audience. Yes, that validating and most enthusiastic congregation on the other side of the fourth wall. And what is this fourth wall separating the viewer from the creator, a portal to an often sought point of connection or the Twitch subscription zone on the rare occasion that you miss the live bacchanal boasted by the ragtag group of thespians on Thursday night. you may always view the show on demand in the Shadowland known as the Twitch subscription zone. Picture if you will the necessary pieces to complete a jigsaw puzzle but it's up to you to choose how it will be solved. You could of course subscribe with your debt rectangle but many more divergent paths lie before you perhaps you found yourself in possession of an Amazon Prime account, you would then wake up to discover a free Twitch subscription each month for a channel of your choosing. But this artifact demands renewal for you must resubscribe each month to quench it's unyielding thirst. One need not walk alone. Those who have already found their way can illuminate the path for others via the gift of sub button on Twitch. Critical role is humbled by your subscription and wishes to thank you. From behind the thin veil of this fourth wall. We hope you enjoy our content as much as we enjoy making it. And so ends another meandering digression a complicated parody, promo down an indistinct highway to the region we call the Twitch subscription zone. You will subscribe Twitch prime subscribe, gift subscribe, subscribe.
Part II
MATT: And welcome back. So last we left off as the spark surrounding this small stone causes reality to briefly crack, and with a whoosh of energy, for a brief moment, there is nothing. Absence. Darkness. Everything just stops to an immediate stillness. Then there's this rush of wind, directionless, but a force, a pulling. And then your lungs hurt and you exhale. And as you do, your vision comes back from darkness. It's like you've been holding your breath forever and you all begin to cough a little bit, just instinctually from the period that you were-- undetermined time. (coughing)
MATT: And as you breathe in after the cough, your first breath you feel refreshed and you look around and you feel like you had the best night's sleep of your life.
TRAVIS: Say it, say it!
MATT: Yeah, you get a long rest. (cheering)
LIAM: I need this technology in my real life.
TRAVIS: Lucien is standing outside, isn't he? No, just kidding.
ASHLEY: He's right behind me, isn't he?
MATT: (laughs)
LAURA: Oh my god.
MARISHA: ♪ Take long rest ♪
LAURA: ♪ Re-choose the spells ♪
ASHLEY: Look at this.
TALIESIN: Doing some spell management here.
LAURA: Oh my god.
TRAVIS: Oh baby.
MARISHA: That might be the lowest I've gotten on ki points in a long time.
TRAVIS: How many?
MARISHA: Four.
SAM: 14 left.
MARISHA: I had four left.
LIAM: Was down to 10. It was rough.
TRAVIS: That was like Grog going, "Yeah, I'm real hurt." 124.
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: Yep.
LIAM: Could've only stunned eight people. It was real bad.
MATT: In two rounds.
MARISHA: Hate feeling that weak.
MATT: Logistically, in two rounds.
LIAM: (impacts)
TALIESIN: Pick some spells.
ASHLEY: Everything looks normal around us?
MATT: Make a perception check.
TRAVIS: Oh shit. I'll assist you.
LIAM: Damn it, Ashley.
ASHLEY: I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it.
SAM: Oh my god.
SAM: I'm pregnant... with Caleb's baby!
ASHLEY: So that means I roll again? If you assist?
TRAVIS: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MARISHA: What timeline is this?
ASHLEY: 21.
MATT: 21. Everything seems normal at the moment, though there is a strange residual effect of this. As you see the shattered gem on the ground, you all gather, and as everyone has this conversation checking like, "Everyone feel all right?" There's a weird echo. And for a moment you see Veth talking and then her words go backwards for a moment and then go forward again.
TRAVIS and LIAM: (talking backwards)
MATT: Essek sees your panic and goes, "Ah, I would not worry. That is just a residual echo of the alteration of time when it's unfocused, as this was. So it should wear off in just a moment. The fact that we're here means it succeeded."
TRAVIS: What's that smell? (blows raspberry)
SAM: (sucking) It sucked back in! (laughter)
SAM: Oh my god!
LIAM: So dumb.
SAM: Just a residual.
TRAVIS: That's my mind. (laughter)
TRAVIS: How does it apply to farts?
LIAM: Who's got that armor we found in Aeor?
SAM: Oh, and also my crossbow.
LIAM: Yes. Put it on the ground here.
SAM: Thank you, please.
MARISHA: Yeah, also I found a bunch of this from Flesh Cree.
LIAM: I didn't pay attention to any of that. So what is it?
TRAVIS: The blood vial that was around Cree's neck, the one from the little necklace.
LAURA: That one's probably important. Maybe Essek can help too.
SAM: The blood vial around Cree's neck, the other blood vials that she had.
MARISHA: A war pick?
MATT: "I do have Identify."
LIAM: Okay, war pick.
MARISHA: And the Cape of Mountebank which we already kind of--
LIAM: The Cape of the Mountebank.
LAURA: Maybe they can split, Essek and Caleb can split it up.
TRAVIS: We can just split them up?
MARISHA: Yeah. It makes you bamf.
LIAM: I like that one.
MARISHA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Should we split up the items? Is it better if you and Essek do it together or can you do all of them?
LIAM: Sure.
MATT: "I've prepared it for this morning."
LIAM: I'm going to take a little bit of time to do it. I'll take the armor and Cree's fun necklace.
MATT: "All right."
LIAM: Start.
TRAVIS: Pick a spot back up by the hallway.
MATT: Keep an eye?
TRAVIS: Yep.
MATT: Got it.
LAURA: Nott's weapon.
SAM: Essek, will you look at this weapon?
MATT: "Ah, yes, I'd be happy to."
LIAM: Actually, before I do that, just because it's quicker, two minutes ago or 10 hours ago or whatever just happened ago, Caleb pulls out the-- no, he's got the medallion out from under his shirt that's now covered in residuum. And he just starts muttering for a full 30 seconds under his breath and touches it to his forehead. And I cast, at 8th-level--
SAM: This is before we rested?
LIAM: I messed with the medallion before, but now that we've rested and I have an 8th-level spell slot, I'm going to cast Mind Blank.
MATT: Mm!
LIAM: Which means no fuckery with my mind for the next 24 hours.
MATT: You got it.
TRAVIS: Whoa.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: Wow.
TRAVIS: Fucking wizard spell.
MATT: I'm going to go look up all the stuff that that does.
LIAM: "Immune to psychic damage, any effect that would sense its emotions or read its thoughts, divination spells, and the charmed condition. The spell even foils Wish spells and spells or effects of similar power used to affect the target's mind or to gain information about the target."
MATT: Interesting.
LIAM: No fuckery.
TRAVIS: 8th-level?
LIAM: Yeah.
MATT: That's a powerful spell.
LIAM: Stay out. Trent and everybody.
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: Trent shows up out here--
LAURA: Trent is the least of our worries on this plane right now.
TRAVIS: I'm impressed.
MARISHA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: And discouraged.
SAM: Trent comes riding up on Uk'otoa.
LIAM: He's been working on it for-- (laughter)
TRAVIS: Well, shit.
MATT: "Glad you all got a rest!" (laughter)
TRAVIS: Uk'otoa sounds like a horse.
MARISHA: What the fuck is it with this guy?
MATT: Sea horse.
TRAVIS: A sea horse. Wee!
MATT: Essek hands you the crossbow and says, "This is an Aeorian Security Cannon."
SAM: Oh! Okay.
MARISHA: You're a mall cop now. (laughter)
SAM: Aeorian Security Cannon? Does Essek know what it can do or will I find that in my equipment somewhere?
MATT: You'll find it if you look for the object, it should be there.
TRAVIS: What's in those Hollister bags? (laughter) (laughter)
ASHLEY: You could smell, like, three stores down.
MARISHA: Yeah. (laughter)
TRAVIS: Ah, my eyes!
MATT: Essentially, when you do miss with an attack, you can use a reaction to activate the gravitational pull on the device and pull the actual object back to the gun to get a secondary attack.
TRAVIS: Ooh.
MARISHA: Whoa, that's cool.
SAM: Okay, okay, okay. I'm going to look at this.
MATT: The armor is Aeorian Protective Chestplate.
LIAM: Okay.
MATT: And you should be able to find that in there as well.
LIAM: I'll look at it and give it to a person who can use it. And then I also had Cree's vial.
MARISHA: And the war pick? Do we want to do her war pick?
MATT: The war pick is not magical.
MARISHA: Okay.
TALIESIN: Bro. (laughter)
MATT: The vial you identify. One, it worked and acted as Cree's holy symbol and the focus for her spellcasting. It does contain the blood of the Nonagon.
LIAM: Of the Nonagon, you said?
MATT: Mm-hmm.
ASHLEY: The war pick?
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: The vial.
LAURA: Blood of the Nonagon.
ASHLEY: Fuck yes.
TRAVIS: (gulping)
MARISHA: (glass shattering)
TALIESIN: Shots!
MATT: What could possibly go wrong?
TRAVIS: If only we knew how to use that in our advantage.
TALIESIN: Little Clamato juice, some vodka, celery stick.
ASHLEY: I'll just take a little sipsies.
TALIESIN: Pepper, Tabasco sauce.
MARISHA: A Bloody Cree?
TALIESIN: Bloody Cree.
MARISHA and TALIESIN: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Fuck, thank you.
LIAM: This armor is probably not good for me, but follows the same rules for basic chestplate?
MATT: Yeah, it's considered a breastplate.
LIAM: Okay, breastplate. Well, I can't use this, but it gives a boost to your overall protection and a little bit more life on a temporary basis. Can anyone else wear armor?
MARISHA: Is it a heavy plate?
LIAM: It's a breastplate.
LAURA: Is it heavy or medium?
MATT: That'd be medium, I believe.
LIAM: I cannot wear it.
TALIESIN: Do you have to attune to it?
LIAM: It does not seem so, no.
TALIESIN: I just have a breastplate plus one at the moment.
LAURA: That seems like--
LIAM: I mean, anyone who wants to see the official stats can add items and check Aeorian.
TRAVIS: A once a day thing.
LIAM: Yep.
TALIESIN: Up to you, Laura.
LAURA: Let me-- Breastplate. What is it?
LIAM: You'll get a plus one to your AC and then a little extra HP juice once a day.
LAURA: I feel like I already have the stone which gives me an HP boost. So Caduceus, if you want that.
TALIESIN: Yeah, it's five temporary hit points. That's great. And my bonus actions all suck, so I'll take it.
TRAVIS: Caleb and Beau, while we were trying to research and research and research, we didn't learn anything about blood magic, right? Or how to-- if we have a sample of it?
LAURA: Can I have your old breastplate?
TALIESIN: Yes, you can.
TRAVIS: Have a sample of it to mess with anybody?
MARISHA: Do I remember anything from my readings about what I would know if we had the Nonagon's blood or anything like that, or blood magic?
TRAVIS: I feel like we got this memory stick and we're like, "Cool, now what?"
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: Make a religion check.
MARISHA: Religion check. Oh, I'm actually okay at that. Ooh! Ooh, that's natural 18. Plus a nine for 27.
MATT: 27, okay.
MARISHA: Yeah.
LIAM: Pretty good roll.
MARISHA: It's not bad.
MATT: Blood often used in rituals and older magic such as hemocraft and as a focus for a lot of religious rites. There is power in blood. As to how this could be utilized, a number of older spells that might utilize that. It also can be a channel or focus for an individual attempting any sort of divination on the individual as well.
MARISHA: Right, right. So it might be helpful if we're trying to track Lucien.
LIAM: Track of her bestie.
MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.
TRAVIS: Does anybody want to wear it? I don't know if it would prevent his blood magic from doing something to you if you're wearing his. It's a shot in the dark, I don't know.
TALIESIN: Put it away somewhere.
TRAVIS: Shit's weird.
MATT: Who took the armor, by the way?
TRAVIS: I did.
MATT: Okay. So you know the ability? So, once it's activated, for the next minute, every turn you get five temporary hit points.
TALIESIN: Every turn?
MATT: It said, "For the next minute you gain five temporary hit points at the start of your turn."
LAURA: Oh, that's great.
MATT: Mind you, they don't stack.
TALIESIN: No, just so I get--
MATT: But let's say you get hit, the next turn you get five back.
LIAM: It keeps topping off.
LAURA: That's great, so, if you go down, it'll automatically bring you back up.
MATT: Temporary hit points do not heal you.
TALIESIN: Not revive you.
LAURA: Oh. Oh, oh, oh.
MATT: But it is just essentially a regenerating buffer. So if you get hit every turn, you're essentially-- you have a buffer of five additional hit points every turn.
LAURA: That's great.
TALIESIN: If I'm unconscious, not if I've done all my death saves, would it bring me back up or no?
MATT: Temporary hit points do not revive you.
TALIESIN: Okay, so even if I'm fine and just sleep--
MATT: I could double check.
TALIESIN: I'd be curious.
LAURA: I took his breastplate plus one that he took off. So I'm covered in lichen right now.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
LAURA: That's cool.
MATT: Yeah, you're rocking that Caduceus look.
LAURA: Sweet, sweet. But my AC is now 20, so that's cool
MATT: Cool, hell yeah.
TALIESIN: Who knows what's happening to that stuff while we're here too. It's probably gotten super messed up from all the stuff it's ingesting.
LAURA: It's pink.
LIAM: Does this big collection of blood have names on every single sample? Is this her Dexter collection?
MATT: It is her Dexter collection, yeah. You see all manner of names, most of which you do not recognize. And those that you do are what you expected.
LIAM: Okay.
MARISHA: Does this cape have to be attuned to, probably?
LIAM: I'll Identify it. I mean, I'll Identify it to learn its properties. I don't remember if it was attunable.
LAURA: The cape Dimension Doors?
LIAM: Yeah, once a day.
LAURA: That's great. And you can take somebody else with you?
MARISHA: You can wrap them up, I think. We saw her do that with Lucien.
LAURA: I feel like somebody's that fast, either you or Yasha should wear that because you guys are really mobile.
MARISHA: It just depends on if it's--
TALIESIN: Tuxedo Mask out.
MARISHA: Oh.
SAM: Attuned?
MARISHA: Attunable, yeah. If it needs to be attuned.
SAM: It should say.
MARISHA: Well, I don't know how to find it.
LIAM: I'll keep ritual Identifying.
MARISHA: The spelling of it is weird.
SAM: M-O-N-T-E.
ASHLEY: M-O-U-N-T-E.
LIAM: Mounte.
SAM: Oh, really?
ASHLEY: Mountebank. I found it.
TALIESIN: Mountebank.
LIAM: Montblanc.
MATT: It does not seem to require attunement. (oohing)
TALIESIN: Fancy, fancy.
LIAM: And speaking of attunement--
MARISHA: There it is, there it is.
LIAM: -- with Mind Blank covering my brain, I'm going to unattune to the necklace and put the Luck Stone back to work.
MATT: You got it. Easy enough to do.
TALIESIN: Are we going to try this?
MARISHA: Do we think we still need our necklaces that shield us from Mollymauk, Lucien?
TRAVIS: Yeah. Yep.
LAURA: I think it would be wise, but--
MARISHA: I just wonder if he can just see through anybody at this place.
TRAVIS: A fair bet. Fair bet.
LAURA: Maybe he can hear through you at this point or sense you, but he doesn't know exactly where you are.
MARISHA: That's true.
TALIESIN: He didn't warn Cree that we were coming.
LAURA: That's true.
LIAM: Yeah.
MARISHA: He seems really distracted, to be fair.
TALIESIN: That's pretty distracted, though.
SAM: Many people were brutally murdered for these things, so I would feel bad if I just took them off.
MARISHA: I just miss my gloves. I had unattuned to my gloves.
LIAM: I understand. Maybe things have changed here, but also we would not have been able to successfully pull off our ambush if he was watching us.
TRAVIS: True.
LAURA: That's true.
TRAVIS: And those other names. Mirumus, Gariel, Elatis, Luctus, they didn't see us.
MARISHA: I just miss my gloves, that's all. Should I wear this cape?
LIAM: Yeah, definitely.
SAM: Or Yasha, yeah.
MARISHA: I'm putting on the cape.
ASHLEY: Wear the cape.
LAURA: It needs to go to somebody that already can't bamf, and me and Fjord can both bamf.
MARISHA: What do you think? Is it a little too flashy?
TALIESIN: I like it.
MARISHA: I don't normally wear red.
ASHLEY: I have ideas.
LAURA: Red and blue go together. They're contrasting.
MARISHA: That's true. Cool.
SAM: What are your ideas?
ASHLEY: Well, this is for later for the two of us. This has nothing to do with you.
TRAVIS: Oh, those kind of ideas.
LAURA: You're going to bone in Dimension Door?
TALIESIN: Oh!
SAM: Have sex in the cape?
MARISHA: Hmm!
ASHLEY: Who knows. What are we doing? (laughter)
LIAM: Focus, Yasha.
ASHLEY: I'm very focused. I just get really, I get a little turnt when I'm focused.
TRAVIS: Okay, so no one has tried to find us.
TALIESIN: Yet.
TRAVIS: Right. We could walk back up to the tip of the Esophagus Tunnel and go check out the Help Me tunnel.
LAURA: Yeah, we should find out the help--
TALIESIN: I want to see the Help room.
LAURA: What if Yussa's up there?
LIAM: It's either the city in general, and the terribly tormented souls of the ward or Yussa.
TRAVIS: Potentially Yussa, but the other one is just us guessing, right?
MARISHA: I can also meditate and see if I can find him through the city.
LAURA: Oh yeah, I could probably scry on him, too.
MARISHA: You might be able to.
LAURA: But you should meditate first.
MARISHA: Okay, yeah, it doesn't, I'll try. Give me 10 minutes.
MATT: So what are you attempting?
MARISHA: Okay, okay. I am going to go find a quiet corner. (fart sounds) I'm going to get in a very meditative monk head space.
MATT: Okay.
MARISHA: Uh-huh. You know. (laughter) And.
TRAVIS: I never get used to that.
MARISHA: I'm going to attempt to imagine myself hearing the waves of the--
TALIESIN: Flesh cave.
MARISHA: -- the Nicodranas coast line and meditate on that feeling and meditate on my breath and see if I can connect to the Cognouza and find Yussa.
MATT: Okay, so you're attempting to connect your consciousness with the consciousness of Cognouza, and through that network to try and locate where Yussa might be?
LAURA: You're trying to connect to Cognouza?
MARISHA: Well, I mean, that's how I figured it would go.
MATT: Go ahead and roll.
MARISHA: When you say it like that, it sounds like a terrible idea.
MARISHA: Well, you've already said you're trying it. Go ahead and roll a d20. Add your wisdom modifier and add a bonus for each eye that you carry.
LIAM: This is the Astral Plane: Dreams come true.
MATT: This is the realm of manifestation.
MARISHA: That's true, that's true.
ASHLEY: Well, plus four, right?
SAM: Wait, do you have four eyes or three?
ASHLEY: She has four now?
MARISHA and MATT: Three.
MARISHA: Straight wisdom plus three. Okay, okay. Good thing for those bonuses. It's not bad. My wisdom modifier?
MATT: Correct.
MARISHA: Okay.
LAURA: What's your wisdom modifier?
MARISHA: Plus four. So that's 17 total.
MATT: 17 is pretty good.
MARISHA: Okay.
MATT: So you listen and you concentrate on the sound of the waves (waves crashing) pulling back. And the rhythmic aspect of it seems to give way instead to the rhythmic sound of breathing. (breathing) Like the inhale and exhale of a massive living creature. And as you time your breath with that, Beau, as a concept disseminates and you feel that tickle at each location where the eyes are. And for a moment, you are connected loosely to thousands of broken minds. It's electrifying and frightening. But for a brief instant, it's like every nerve on your body begins to spark. Slightly painful, slightly interesting. But you haven't felt connected and alive like this before, and you instinctually begin to try and withdraw but you redouble your efforts and focus. And you are part of a sprawling network of broken consciousness. And you can sense oddly the city in ways, the repeated patterns, the fractals in its design. You see where the neighborhoods are copied and you can see the tunnels, massive tunnels that all seem to converge into one central place towards the center below. Where you feel the core of the Somnovem. You concentrate on Yussa. And you feel a familiar force, a brusqueness, but a gentleness. The essence of your friend. And you follow it. In that brief moment, that connection to this grid of consciousness instead becomes a singular spark, like you're being pulled along an electric line. Until suddenly you're on the surface. There's no sight involved here. You're not seeing. You're just part of the street. And for a brief moment, you want to just let it take over, to just find comfort in this. No, no, you push against it. And amongst the varying hollow bodies walking the streets, going through the motions, you see one of darker skin and light hair, an elvish complexion, wandering aimless amongst them. Maybe about a better part of a mile to the east of where you are on the surface.
MARISHA: How does he look? Does he look like he's still in his own mind?
MATT: It's odd. Everyone else is physically here. He is partially.
MARISHA: Right.
MATT: You're not seeing him, you're just sensing. It's all through that connective tissue, and Yussa is connected to this network. But his connection is hollow.
MARISHA: Right, an astral projection. I just say: Yussa. Yussa, it's the Mighty Nein, we're here.
MATT: You sense Yussa's attention turn. And in that moment, you sense something bright and red coming from elsewhere.
LAURA: Uh-oh.
MARISHA: I cut.
MATT: Okay. You withdraw. You managed to maintain yourself through that. But maybe not enough to do so unnoticed. You traveled in the network of Cognouza's consciousness.
LIAM: (whispering) Hack the planet.
MATT: But something saw you.
TRAVIS: (whispering) You got sliced.
MARISHA: (heavy exhale)
ASHLEY: (whispering) Hack to you.
LIAM: This is where the two stories come together.
SAM: All right, that's our plan.
MATT: This is where we dovetail the two narratives finally.
SAM: We've been working on this for years, guys.
MATT: Me and Sam play the long game. (laughter)
LIAM: Caleb reads the tunnel and just says, Nord, Nord, Nord.
MARISHA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: "Hello," reforms into "Leet." (laughter)
MATT: But you find your way back.
MARISHA: That was awesome and I don't recommend it at the same time.
LAURA: What happened?
MARISHA: I saw Yussa. He's here, he's on the surface still wandering, just wandering around. He doesn't-- He doesn't appear lost, yet.
LAURA: Maybe we can recruit him?
MARISHA: Yeah, he's maybe a mile or so from here. He's not far.
TRAVIS: A specific direction?
MARISHA: Mm-hmm. East is what you said?
MATT: It's hard to say north, west, east, south because there is no real direction here. But if you're looking from an overhead point of where you are, it's the best way you could triangulate it, yeah.
MARISHA: Okay, I think I could track him, but I-- I think I was noticed.
LAURA: What do you mean you were noticed?
MARISHA: It's hard to describe because it's so amorphous, but like a burning red sensation, like another eye, a force.
MATT: As she's speaking, the wall behind her, you watch as the stone begins to bulge.
MARISHA: Maybe we should go.
MATT: The color turns a deep crimson.
LAURA: We go.
MARISHA: I think it knows where we are.
TRAVIS: Move.
LAURA: Move, move, move.
TRAVIS: We run, we run.
MATT: You run. You head back to the tunnel, charging back where you were, just running through the darkness. A bright red light begins to push from one of the walls as you pass.
MARISHA: Oh, like that. It looked exactly like that.
TRAVIS and LAURA: Keep going, keep going!
MARISHA: Okay.
SAM: Which way, where?
TRAVIS: We're just running through the tunnel back.
SAM: To the Help tunnel?
LAURA: Are we going to the Help tunnel?
LIAM: Back to the intersection.
MATT: Okay. You continue to run towards the intersection. As you're reaching the point of the mid area, you see from the floor bubbling up that same bright red light, that spherical light, the same way that you saw push through some of the people of this town begin to push from beneath the skin-like ground as you run past. You arc around it.
SAM: Fjord, Marine Layer!
TRAVIS: I already thought of it. (laughter)
LAURA: I'm going to cast Calm Emotions on the orb.
MATT: On the orb? Okay, what's the DC on that?
MARISHA: Good idea.
LAURA: 18.
TRAVIS: Good call.
MARISHA: Do it, do it.
MARISHA: That's a fail.
LAURA: Great. I can make the target indifferent about us.
MATT: Indeed.
TRAVIS: Fucking--
MATT: And as you rush to the intersection and grab the rails to begin climbing, you just hear a voice peek through all of your minds. It says, "Wait, where are you going?"
MARISHA: It's a Somnovem.
LAURA: Yeah.
MARISHA: It's one of them.
LAURA: Do you want to talk to it? It's indifferent to us now.
MARISHA: I don't know.
TALIESIN: Who are you?
LIAM: Maybe it's in a good mood?
SAM: Yeah, how long does the spell last?
LAURA: A minute.
SAM: We could get in a couple of words.
LAURA: Ask it some questions?
LIAM: Yeah, talk to it, Jester.
TALIESIN: Who are you?
MATT: "You arrive by sheer force of love and family, protecting those that bring you joy and meaning. That is true purpose. Through these bonds eternal, everything, everything has meaning. We seek to bond everything in love and to become one as we all are. Absolute, eternal love, without boundaries."
LIAM: What is your name?
MATT: "I am Gaudius."
MARISHA: That's Gaudius.
SAM: Wait, that was the one that was oblivion. Not love.
TRAVIS: I mean, kind of the same.
MATT: "Glad I could catch you while the others are distracted. Everyone searches for the Nonagon. And I was curious. You all seem to have been marked, most of you, at least. Welcome."
LIAM: What would bring all of you joy?
MATT: "I do not know what would bring all of us joy. We all have different ideas when we're apart. I hate to bother, but it's rare that we find those that, well, are separate."
SAM: How can we bring you love? Who can we talk to?
MATT: "I worry. I just want to bring this love to everyone. I want us to all come together. But Fastidan and Culpasi, they reject the embrace."
SAM: What, what?
LAURA: Wait, what a--
MARISHA: Culpasi?
TRAVIS: Fastidan and Culpasi?
MATT: Fastidan and Culpasi.
MARISHA: Fastidan.
LAURA: Culpasty? (laughs)
TALIESIN: Why?
MATT: "They are driven from unity through disgust, arrogance, and deeply misplaced shame. They would divide and maintain the horrid separation that plagues all life in the cosmos, breeding strife through loneliness and misunderstanding. If you could show love for each other, and for us, could you find where they're harbored within the Aether Crux, and maybe grant them their separation from reality as they so seek, so that the rest of us might join without doubt? Please."
SAM: Yep, we're on it, okay, bye!
LAURA: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm!
MARISHA: Tell them-- is the Aether Crux maybe, like, in the center of everything, maybe down, looks like it's a planet in a gravitational field?
MATT: "Yeah, more or less."
MARISHA: Yeah. Okay, cool.
MATT: "If the others aren't watching, I could maybe help you get there."
MARISHA: Do you all live there? Is that, like, your all's bunk? Are you roommates?
MATT: "We are and aren't. We are everywhere in this city. But we come together there, mostly."
MARISHA: Okay, okay.
SAM: Good talk, good talk, it's probably running off--
MARISHA: Yeah, I think-- I don't think we need directions. 'Kay, bye.
MATT: (laughs) Who wants to make the persuasion check that you're all on the up and up with this?
TRAVIS: I do. (laughter)
LIAM: Yes, yes.
MARISHA: Come on, you're--
MATT: How do you present this case, that you are indeed listening to this individual that is like awaiting a deep confirmation that you're allied?
TRAVIS: We will find Fastidan and Culpasi, and make sure that they are separated via the Aether Crux, as you wish.
LAURA: I'm going to try to give him advantage, and I'm going to go up and hug my arms around his waist, and go: All we care about in this world is love and unity. (lip smacking) And I kiss him.
MATT: All right, are you taking that as a persuasion or a deception?
SAM: He just leaned away from you.
LAURA: (laughs) I know he did.
MATT: Do you intend to follow through on this deal?
TRAVIS: No, this is deception.
MATT: Make a deception roll.
SAM: You just kiss his shoulder.
LIAM: Chewing on his jawline.
TRAVIS: 24.
MATT: 24.
TRAVIS: Plus 10 on my deception.
MATT: Okay.
LIAM: Yeah, face man.
MATT: The red eye that is buoyed up from the ground, and you can see now, it's spiraled up like this twisted arm of a tether that ends in the glowing orb of this eye with a strange bead of orange-yellow pupil-like light in the center. And it's odd, because it has no facial features to speak of, but there's something about the voice and the light that is oddly comforting in the way it speaks. And those of you with high enough passive insight, given the place you are, makes it even more off-putting. But as you finish your statement, and your display of affection, the eye begins to withdraw. "Then, go quickly."
TRAVIS: Our prom pose.
MATT: "I sense that once their search is done, and they find the Nonagon, we'll be called together once more. And when our minds are one, we cannot speak, like this." And the eye, (whoosh) vanishes into the floor.
TALIESIN: We are just making friends.
SAM: Yeah, that was great.
MARISHA: Okay.
LAURA: Did Calm Emotions help at all in this? Or was it always-- never mind.
TRAVIS: Fastidan and Culpasi.
MATT: It did help.
TRAVIS: They want division and things that are probably more in line with what we want, rather than everybody being connected.
SAM: And they're being held in Aether Crux.
TRAVIS: They're part of the-- yeah, they're part of the--
MATT: It lowered the DCs needed for any sort of--
TRAVIS: Because we needed three more names, I think--
MARISHA: We did.
TRAVIS: -- and that was two of them.
MARISHA: And I'm assuming the ninth is Nonagon.
TRAVIS: I think so.
LAURA: Maybe.
TALIESIN: I still want to see the help.
MARISHA: Unless it's a master emotion or something like that, like the master.
TRAVIS: Wait. Where you saw, was it a mile on the surface, or are we potentially taking this "help, help, help" tunnel? Is that easterly?
MARISHA: Would I know that?
MATT: The "help, help" tunnel would be more of, if you're looking at that sort of different directional pass, it would be the different direction.
TRAVIS: Got it.
MARISHA: Yeah, the other way. And it was on the surface, it was a mile on the surface.
SAM: That's where Yussa is.
MARISHA: That's where Yussa is, but he--
SAM: But the Aether Crux, you felt down.
MARISHA: Is in the center and down.
SAM: And could you guide us there?
MATT: You could certainly try.
MARISHA: I could certainly try.
LIAM: Do we want to spend the time to try to pull Yussa out of wherever he is?
TRAVIS: I was just thinking that, because it just his--
LIAM: Yeah.
LAURA: But if he's astral projecting or something, he can still help.
LIAM: But if he could leave, he would have by now.
TRAVIS: Yeah.
LAURA: So we should try to get him out.
LIAM: Or we're abandoning him.
TRAVIS: Feels like he might be the fly stuck in the flytrap.
LIAM: I think so.
TRAVIS: But if we set him free, then (whoosh).
LIAM: At least he can go home.
MATT: Maybe. Make an arcana check.
LIAM: 27.
MATT: In theory, yes. Depending on how the astral body has been captured or tethered. Everything here is far beyond even just the studies of astral travel, astral projection, and elements here defy or supersede previous knowledge. There is a good chance, you imagine, that upon destroying or, you know, absolving the connection of this place that, yeah, Yussa may be set free in return. Or he could be destroyed along with it. You don't know.
TRAVIS: Ooh.
MATT: Your roll at least offers the confirmation of a possibility of either.
LIAM: Well, even if he doesn't know, I believe that if we leave this city adrift, he's just going to drift with it. And if we don't try, that's it for him.
LAURA: So if we defeat the city--
LIAM: He's because of us.
LAURA: And we destroy it completely, he'll potentially be released, along with all of the other thousands of people?
TALIESIN: Maybe.
LIAM: Whatever that means.
TRAVIS: It seems like the Aether Crux might be the (groans) port by which we do that. Maybe there's a way that we--
LAURA: Maybe it's like the heart.
TRAVIS: Yeah, if it's like an entryway in, it could also be a point of egress out, so.
MARISHA: I wonder if that's where Lucien is.
LAURA: Maybe that's why they can't see him.
TRAVIS: I mean, I certainly don't want to destroy his mind in the matrix, and then his body dies back in Exandria, but--
MARISHA: I mean, he's been here for a while, you don't think that he could help? Don't think he'd be of any use?
LAURA: I don't know if they really explore the city, the people that live here, or if they roam aimlessly.
MARISHA: I don't know.
LIAM: I think we owe it to him.
TRAVIS: And we're sure, we're sure he didn't want to be connected, right? He was just-- curiosity got the cat?
TALIESIN: Who would--?
LAURA: There's no way to know.
LIAM: He was looking-- well, yeah, his motives.
TRAVIS: Yes, but.
SAM: If we go up after Yussa, it could delay us a half a day.
TALIESIN: Maybe.
LAURA: It's a mile away. It could delay us an hour.
LIAM: Half a day with problems.
SAM: With problems, yes, but that's okay, because we've destroyed-- well, we've taken care of a crest.
LIAM: So it's not going home.
TALIESIN: Not yet.
TRAVIS: Unless Lucien somehow leaves here and comes back, but--
SAM: Or the other thing I was thinking. We've seen some pretty cool things with time bending here. I don't know, could he undo us taking the crest away?
TRAVIS: Oh boy.
TALIESIN: We time bend, not this place.
SAM: No, but there's technology around that--
TALIESIN: Not here.
SAM: But in Aeor.
LAURA: As far as we know.
TRAVIS and TALIESIN: As far as we know.
TRAVIS: This place did have technology far more advanced than us, thousands.
TALIESIN: It would be meat at this point.
MARISHA: Yeah, he's got a point.
LIAM: Well, it's an unknown, because there undoubtedly was things like that here. And maybe they work, or maybe they don't.
TALIESIN: I've seen very few real things here.
LIAM: I understand, but--
TALIESIN: But yeah.
LIAM: This is also very-- reality seems fluid.
TRAVIS: (laughs)
TALIESIN: Fair.
SAM: The only thing that we've done consistently, the only choice that we've ever consistently made is to take care of our friends.
LAURA: So we go help him.
TRAVIS and SAM: Yeah.
LAURA: Let's go.
TALIESIN: Moving.
MARISHA: Okay. Can I try and guide us back as quickly as I feel I remember?
MATT: Certainly, as you all emerge from the trap tunnel back to the surface streets, you can see once more the aimless bodies of the denizens wandering directionless, going through the motions of their previous lives, these stilted echoes of who they once were. And you all begin to will yourselves upward, flying back above the cityline itself, heading in the direction of Beauregard's guidance. So you're guiding them. Would you mind making a perception check roll?
LAURA: Can I give her Guidance to--?
MATT: Sure.
MARISHA: ♪ Guide my guidance ♪
LIAM: Gweedance.
MATT: Yo dawg, I heard you like to be guided.
MARISHA: What did you-- perception?
MATT: Yes.
TRAVIS: You just killed us, didn't you?
MARISHA: Oh, that's not-- I'm not good at this already. Eight.
MATT: Eight.
LAURA: That's real bad.
MARISHA: It's real bad, I rolled a three.
MATT: Eight, it takes you a little longer than you would have hoped.
LIAM: There was problems.
MATT: But you do still manage to zero in on the neighborhood that you recall. It's challenging largely because a lot of these streets are patterned. And so after a certain time of travel, you begin to wonder if you've circled back, because it seems like you've already been this way. But then you begin to notice the smaller details, and realize that, no, the movements here seem different, and you look back, and you're traveling. It's just that that odd fractal pattern to the city's expansion just messes with your head, until eventually you find that similar neighborhood that you recall sensing, where you sensed Yussa. Took you a little longer.
MARISHA: Shit.
MATT: But as you touch down in that area, you all can see just around the edge of the corner, a figure, white-silver short hair, darker skin, flowing golden robes, just walking, walking away.
LIAM: I'm going to pick up my pace and catch up to him.
TALIESIN: Yes.
MATT: Okay.
SAM: When you go up to him, Caleb just go, (shrieks). (laughter)
SAM: That way you'll blend in, right?
TRAVIS: Customary greeting.
MATT: You approach, and as you get closer, you can see his features are blurred. This is not a full corporeal form. This is a somewhat spectral-looking image of Yussa that still remains with each footfall connected, tethered to Cognouza, like the other denizens.
MARISHA: Oh, shit.
TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah.
LIAM: Yussa, it's me. It's Caleb.
MATT: He's been facing away from you, and turns around, and where the face would be, you just see this open vacuous hole.
LAURA: Ooh.
MATT: This dark space, it just looks back at you.
LIAM: Can you hear me? Can you speak?
MATT: There's no voice. There's recognition because it turned, but nothing beyond that.
LIAM: I think towards his form, and say: Raise your hand if you understand me.
LAURA: Can you still think towards people?
LIAM: That's what I said, yeah.
LAURA: I know, but with Mind Blank.
LIAM: Oh, I don't know, but I'm shielded from people controlling me.
MATT: He can still use his mind, I'd say.
LAURA: Okay.
MATT: But it's--
LIAM: (yelps) (laughter)
MATT: Cast Mind Blank! (thuds) (laughter)
LAURA: I just meant like--
TRAVIS: I don't think that did what you think it was going to do.
LIAM: Did I negate the powers I got?
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: Right. There is no response.
LIAM: (sighs)
TALIESIN: It's going to be weird. I'm going to cast Guidance on Yussa.
MATT: On Yussa?
TALIESIN: We need you to focus. Come here and be with us.
MATT: Make an arcana check, Caleb.
LIAM: I have an idea as well. That is a 21.
MATT: 21. The magic that tethers him here continues to tether him here. And you can just vaguely see on the outline of the body, this silver cord that drifts and then vanishes into the ether that represents the connection to the body. So the spell that has brought Yussa here, though captured as he is, still remains, and still is part of what keeps him caged.
LAURA: So, we could potentially dispel it.
LIAM: I reach my hands into his form. And I banish him back to the material plane.
MATT: As your hands alight with energy, there is a (whoosh), a sudden burst of life and movement from Yussa's somewhat spectral form. And in that movement, there is a facade of that faceless image that is left behind like a ghosted shadow as Yussa's spirit is pushed out of it briefly. And you can see the face of Yussa looking back at you through it, into a smile and just says, "Thank you." (whoosh) And you watch it as the spirit is lifted on the tether, like a parachute cord, and dragged away.
MARISHA: (exhales) Okay.
LIAM: Okay.
LAURA: He's free.
TALIESIN: Well, that's one good deed for the day.
MARISHA: Okay.
SAM: Does he come back in a minute, or--
MARISHA: He's not help, but you know.
SAM: Does he just stay there?
LAURA: No, I think he's gone.
LIAM: I don't think he was in a place to help us.
MARISHA: No, no.
LAURA: So now we find our way back down.
LIAM: Yes, yes.
TALIESIN: Mom used to say, "useful like a hole in the head." I think that's what she meant. (laughter)
TRAVIS: Oh my god.
LAURA: Beau, did you see where the Crux was?
MARISHA: It's hard to describe, but it just felt like the absolute center of this place, like a fixated point.
LAURA: Above ground or below?
MARISHA: Below, right?
MATT: Yeah.
MARISHA: Yeah. Do I feel like I have-- or would I fuck it up like I fucked us getting to Yussa? Could I get us back down?
LIAM: Fuck it up.
MATT: How would you want to get back down?
MARISHA: Walking. I'd like to walk there. How do you-- wait, can I-- wait.
TRAVIS: Whoa, whoa.
MARISHA: Wait.
LIAM: How would you like to down this?
LAURA: We have to find a way down. You know what? Maybe we just ask somebody for help. Maybe we ask one of the Somnovem.
MARISHA: Maybe we just imagine ourselves there.
TRAVIS: (laughs)
MATT: Are you going to do that?
LIAM: Might as well.
MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.
LAURA: All right, let's try it!
ASHLEY: Fuck with the--
LAURA: What does it look like?
TRAVIS: Fuck with the what?
LIAM: Let's do it.
ASHLEY: Like how he opened up the--
MARISHA: Okay.
ASHLEY: -- flesh.
LIAM: Do you fuck with mind powers?
MARISHA: Let's fuck with mind powers. Get near us, yeah.
LAURA: Let's think of it.
MARISHA: I'm going to loop around. Yeah, we're going to use--
SAM: We're going to use the power of imagination?
MARISHA: The power of mind bullets!
LIAM: This is the place of dreams. We all have a lot of eyes amongst us.
MARISHA: And I've already seen it.
SAM: This is going to look so stupid if it doesn't work.
MARISHA: I've already seen it.
LAURA: We've looked stupid before.
LIAM: We're in an acid trip right now.
LAURA: Over or under?
MARISHA: Totally a fractal acid trip, I agree, I agree.
LAURA: Like this, maybe?
TRAVIS: Before we just prayer circle this thing, are there other drones walking nearby that were attracted by the banishing of a soul from this living city?
LIAM: You'd be the Laura Bailey.
MATT: None of the other entit-- There are other entities walking through here, different people from the ancient Aeorian times, themselves going about their ghosted, patterned non-lives, just as you've seen before.
TRAVIS: Creepy-ass.
MATT: None were close enough who had been caught, or at least paid attention to this display yet.
MARISHA: Are there any buildings, any alleys that we can tuck into?
MATT: Yeah, there's a building immediately to your left, if you want to.
TALIESIN: Yeah, let's all--
TRAVIS: All right.
TALIESIN: This is weird to do out here.
TRAVIS: Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.
MATT: Okay, you go ahead and open the door, and as you pull the door, it's odd, because when you pull it, the door seems to stretch first, and then open behind you as you--
LAURA: I hate this place.
MATT: -- pull it open.
MARISHA: That's so grody.
TRAVIS: What's it taste like?
LAURA: Ew!
MARISHA: Ugh! No!
MATT: A little salty. (groaning, laughter)
LIAM: It's like A Christmas Story, but 10,000 times worse. (laughter)
MARISHA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: His tongue gets close to mouth, goes (chomping) you know?
LAURA: You guys remember the show Aaahh!!! Real Monsters?
TRAVIS: Yes, Nickelodeon?
LAURA: Do you remember the one that was the armpit monster?
ALL: Yeah!
LAURA: That's what I see. This whole place--
MARISHA: What was his name?
LAURA: -- looks like the armpit monster.
MATT: I can't remember.
LIAM: A pity.
MARISHA: Anyway, yeah.
ASHLEY: Wait, how many names did you guys write down of the Somnovem so far, seven or eight?
MARISHA: I have eight.
TRAVIS: Eight.
LAURA: Five, six, seven--
ASHLEY: What are they, again?
SAM: Timorei, Elactus, Luctus, Ira--
LIAM: Ira, Mirumus.
SAM: Miramus, Guardius, Fastidan, and Col-pussy! (laughter)
LAURA: That's what I wrote, too. (laughter)
LIAM: I just thought it, I didn't actually write it down or say it out loud!
TRAVIS: What was it? Col-pussy!
TALIESIN: Well.
MATT: Four more eyes appear on your body. (laughter)
TRAVIS: (whooshing) Oh no!
LIAM: Are they eyes, though?
MARISHA: And Matt, DM, from what you said before, from our memory, did we get any other emotional imprints to the other ones?
LAURA: We haven't met all of them.
MATT: You've only met three.
MARISHA: And it was fear--
LIAM: Timorei was scared, Ira was wrathful.
MARISHA: Was anger, yeah.
LIAM: Gaudius wanted oblivion.
LAURA: But was loving.
MARISHA: Was eternal love. And then Gaudius had mentioned Fastidan and Culpasti being--
LIAM: Cold-pasty?
MARISHA: -- arrogance and shameful, so I'm assuming that either one of those are arrogance and shame.
TALIESIN: Remorse, maybe.
LAURA: Should we try to bamf? What are we--
LIAM: Yeah, we're going.
TALIESIN: We're going to use power of imagination.
MARISHA: I'm just talking out of game.
MATT: You've stepped into the bottom floor of this structure. On the inside, there is a semblance of an interior. You see furniture, you see candles on tables. And as you step down onto the floor, the floor gives slightly, and everything has a spongy texture to it. It's odd, but at least it's solid-ish. But you gather up.
MARISHA: So I gather up, and first I project the image that I saw of the Aether Crux into Caleb's mind, trying to show him what I saw. And then I say: Help me share to them.
LIAM: Little candles. (popping)
MARISHA: Yeah, poof, poof, and I share the image to Caduceus and Fjord and Yasha, spread it out. And then I'm just going to look at everybody. Imagine we're there. Does everybody see it in their heads?
TALIESIN: Unfortunately.
LAURA: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
MARISHA: And--
MATT: Have both of you roll a wisdom check with your wisdom modifier plus the number of eyes that you carry, which is three.
LIAM: Wisdom modifier.
MARISHA: Okay, please roll high this time.
LIAM: Not good.
MARISHA: Good for me.
LIAM: I got a 10, all totaled.
MARISHA: 10 total? 24.
LIAM: Way better.
MATT: 24?
MARISHA: 24.
MATT: Okay.
MARISHA: I rolled a 17.
MATT: You, Caleb, close your eyes, and focus, and concentrate. And you're having a hard time grasping what it means to will the-- You have built a life about forcing the elements of the world to bend to your whims and ideas. And there's something in this moment that leaves you unfocused, and you're uncertain why you're being barred. And something opens inside your mind. You concentrate and focus on the image, and the sensation of the Aether Crux, the location. And as you're concentrating, you can't help but extend yourself a bit back to Cognouza.
MARISHA: Sure.
MATT: To connect once more to this network, and you all hear a strange sound. (hissing) And the floor of the room next to you begins to curl open. And a tunnel begins to reveal itself downward, willed into existence.
MARISHA: (laughs) Okay, I love this place.
LAURA: That's really cool.
MARISHA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Does it also taste salty?
LAURA: Ew.
MARISHA: Does it?
MATT: This one, no, weirdly.
MARISHA: So, it's just a tunnel, like it looks like a water slide?
TRAVIS: Wow.
MATT: It's about six, six and a half feet tall. So some of you may have to duck down, but it is traversable, walkable. It's cylindrical, and it looks, yeah, it looks mostly smooth, but the texture is somewhat striated in places. It is like a--
LIAM: Sphincter.
MATT: Yep.
MARISHA: Yep!
TRAVIS: We are in the colon.
MARISHA: Into, yeah.
TALIESIN: Not our first time.
TRAVIS: You're right, it is not the first time.
MATT: No, we're talking--
TALIESIN: Back to campaign one.
MATT: The image I keep getting when I'm coming to this is the other side in Poltergeist.
TRAVIS: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
MARISHA: Oh yeah, yeah.
TRAVIS: Yes, yes, yes.
MARISHA: Cool. Okay.
TRAVIS: Pink and white with goo everywhere.
LIAM: Just be gentle, doc. (laughter)
LAURA: Should we go?
ASHLEY: Is there a way in?
LAURA: Let's go?
TALIESIN: Let's go.
MARISHA: And hope this leads--
LIAM: Do I have residual--
MARISHA: -- where we want to go.
LIAM: -- heebie-jeebies from something opening?
LAURA: I hop down into the tunnel.
MATT: There's like a faint tickle.
TRAVIS: Oh, you got another one!
LAURA: You got another eye?
MARISHA: Did he get another eye?
LIAM: Do you see anything?
MARISHA: I-- do we?
MATT: Not plainly on him at the moment.
TALIESIN: Where was the tickle?
ASHLEY: Take off your clothes.
MARISHA: Take off your shirt. (sighing)
SAM: Show us your butthole. (laughter)
LAURA: I'm already in the tunnel. Coming?
TRAVIS: Spread your cheeks and cough.
LIAM: Nobody tugboat.
TRAVIS: You never been to county before? (laughter)
LIAM: I will spend a minute looking around.
MATT: Right over the heart.
LAURA: Is there one on his ankle?
LIAM: Right over the heart?
TRAVIS: Right over your heart.
MATT: The fourth eye.
TRAVIS: Ooh!
MARISHA: Shit, Caleb. Shit.
LIAM: Do I see anything different than I did before?
MARISHA: Oh, yeah.
MATT: Not at the moment.
LIAM: Not at the moment, okay.
TRAVIS: DM, can I ask a question?
MATT: Yeah.
TRAVIS: You said that the eyes lit up on Cree before she transformed into that thing.
MATT: Correct.
TRAVIS: Did you say how many eyes lit up?
MATT and LIAM: Five.
SAM: She had five.
LIAM: So I'm one shy of a flesh monster.
TRAVIS: Oh. (laughs)
MARISHA: Yeah, that's true.
SAM: Oh man.
TRAVIS: That's what I thought.
LIAM: Boy, man.
MARISHA: Who knows if five was the limit?
LIAM: I picked one 8th-level spell. Let's hope it does something. Roll those dice.
TRAVIS: (laughs) I love it.
LIAM: So do I.
MARISHA: All right, we go into the sphincter.
MATT: All right.
MARISHA: I'm sweating. A lot.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
TALIESIN: I'm vibrating.
LIAM: Not trying to pick two, but I did not prep the other. I couldn't use it if I wanted to.
MATT: You traverse deeper and deeper, within the steady decline of this tunnel. The willed focus of Beauregard does not leave you to weaving oddly. It is a direct channel. Lightless as it may be. You continue down, down, down, until deep within these twitching corridors, under the streets of Cognouza, it begins to widen into walls that are showing semblances of city once more. Bits of stone, sections of wall, cracked brick, occasionally an eye opens, and watches you as you pass, before vanishing into the space. You've occasionally seen bits of bone or teeth. Now these become horns and fang-like protrusions, like tusks in places. It seems like the deeper you go, the harder it is keeping together the idea of what it's supposed to be. And some of the shapes begin to just become wild and weird, more so than the rest of the city, I guess you'd say. Passing beyond this nightmare patchwork of architectural memory, odd angles begin to twist as it grows taller. And then eventually you see a light. Continuing on the light gets brighter and brighter. This pulsing red light. The tunnel begins to give way into a massive chamber. An aorta-like chamber. The center of the city. There are bits of rock, and faintly emerging tower structures, sections of building. But nonsensical in placement, like an off-hand sketch of something you saw once that is completely wrong, but just enough to recognize what it was supposed to be. In the middle of it you see this column, and within column is this... for lack of a better term, a bulbous collection of massive, faintly glowing pulsating orbs, all mashed like a nest.
LIAM: Nine of them?
MATT: Looks to be about nine, probably. If you could see it from all sides.
LAURA: How tall is the tower?
MATT: To the ceiling, it's about 80 feet.
LAURA: The thing is all filling the--?
MATT: The column-- what you see, the central section where these are affixed is towards the base, and the part that's tethered to the top are like stretched tendon and things that are essentially connecting it to the center and giving it more firm power at its base.
LIAM: Any sign of the Nonagon?
MARISHA: That's-- yeah.
MATT: Make a perception check.
TRAVIS: Aortic valve.
MARISHA: The central nervous system.
LIAM: 19.
MATT: 19. You glance around, and you see no sign of the Nonagon. What you do see is different fluctuating points of red light kind of heading down these tendrils to the center. And these orbs begin to alight as they do. Quick to gather that these are likely the various Somnovem returning to greet whoever has stepped into the central chamber.
LAURA: Oh.
MATT: A voice immediately fills your minds, bassy and commanding. "We are the Somnovem We are consciousness, evolved through high emergence. We thank you for coming. We welcome our children, who see with our eyes. You walk the path of the Nonagon, and though through you will become, one. We will not grant your every desire. We will teach you how to manifest them."
LIAM: What is it-- I think-- that you all want?
MATT: "Dreams are the mind testing its limits, reaching out and expanding the will. Consciousness, it's boundless with awakened will. The soul is consciousness. The soul should not be bound to a short-lived vessel and collected by treacherous idols as a trophy. Dreams are the minds discovering potential. And together we, the Somnovem, have become dream. Every mind, every soul deserves to know this joy, this endless understanding of purpose and meaning. We are a proto-realm, a new plane of existence about to be born. The next step in the evolution of life, and the enduring spirit."
LIAM: You are not content with your home here?
MATT: "We are just the spark. It would be meaningless to... hoard our understanding. It is the right of every living being to know our joy. It is their inevitable reward, with the trials and toil of running the divine maze, under the alien minds of false gods. They deserve to be with us, and we will not deny everyone their destiny."
MARISHA: Who are we speaking to now?
MATT: "Us. All of us. We are the Somnovem Omega."
LAURA: So you all get along now?
MARISHA: (whispers) Somnovem Omega.
MATT: There's no response.
TRAVIS: Aren't you missing one?
MATT: "Yes. Our harbinger, the Nonagon. We sense your connection. Would you bring him to us? He is beyond our sight."
LIAM: This ninth is your foothold to other shores?
MATT: "For now."
LAURA: And he's hiding from you?
MATT: You see some of the color and the light and some of these mass orbs, this conjunction of entities shifts colors, like a moment of confusion and turmoil visible on the surface. "Strange. Yes."
LAURA: I wonder what his motive must be?
MATT: "He is... with us. We felt him arrive. Nine of us await... the Nonagon."
MARISHA: "The nine of us await the Nonagon?"
LIAM: The math doesn't seem to add up.
LAURA: Maybe he's the tenth.
MARISHA: He's the tenth.
LAURA: We just haven't--
MARISHA: Yeah.
SAM: When the Nonagon rejoins you, will you all go somewhere together, or are you content here?
MATT: "He is to bring the key and open the door."
SAM: And if he does not?
MATT: The colors roil and flash. "Then we will find another way."
LIAM: Then you don't know where he is. If you did, you could point us toward him, and we could find him for you.
MATT: In a brief moment, you feel this storm of energy reach out. Each of you that has an eye, you feel a part of your body begin to grow cold where that eye is, as if something is peering through and searching you, and then it withdraws. "Yes. You have sought him as well. Find him for us. Then all that you've ever dreamed will be yours."
LIAM: We will do this for you. We will bring the Nonagon, to his close.
LAURA: Just be careful because he was talking about ultimate power, and... I don't know, maybe he's hiding because he wants more than what you offered.
MATT: There's a pause. Echoing from elsewhere in the chamber. (as Lucien) "Well, I'm glad you came."
TRAVIS: (wheezy laugh)
MATT: "The invitation was there and you've all proven exactly as useful as I hoped." The colors shift, and you see the central column begins to warp slightly. And on the opposite side of where you're standing, near one of the other aortic tunnels that ventures past there, you see Lucien standing next to an empty sack and a cluster of nine or 10 glowing intuit charges, all pooled into one pulsing pile. "I needed them distracted. Keep their eyes off me for a bit."
SAM: (gasps) Oh no.
MATT: "So I thank you for that." The Somnovem voice begins to echo through all of your minds, like a storm of lightning. "Stop him, stop, stop, stop him, stop--" And Lucien goes, "Enough of that! (laughs) You all know very well what this is, and I'm glad we've all synchronized our schedules through all this chaos. It's perfect. These people, this city, tragic in its fall. Yes, but glorious in its discoveries. The Somnovem had studied to prepare it enough to harness their terrible fate, and in doing so--" And he snaps his fingers. And you watch as the flesh around him forms a chair behind him. A throne, if you will. And he leans into it. "They were reborn greater than they could have ever anticipated. Isn't that right? Power of a thousand minds, dreams, imaginations, and wills made one. Founded in the aether of manifestation, a miracle, unstoppable. Yet rudderless, fractured, wild, jealous, impotent." The colors flicker intensely and you can see elements of psychic energy trying to begin to spark out of the center column upward, but it's also holding back. You recognize the stalemate between the two sides. "I once saw them as gods. Being so far beyond my ability to understand. And they chose me to be their herald. But when I died, when I scattered, and they put me back together, I was given a view behind the curtain and I saw the fallacy. I had given everything for genius souls. Now mewling toddlers bickering over the power of creation. Someone needed to be the parent. When children have been acting out, well, making a mess of their potential, for this long even, a responsible caretaker must show discipline, enact a punishment, and take the reins with force. So I invite you to stay for the show, but I think you'd prefer to run." He leans back and puts his hand on the devices, as they begin to blink faster and faster.
MARISHA: We got to go.
TRAVIS: How far away is he?
MATT: He's about 120, 130 feet from you. On the other side of this chamber.
MARISHA: Wait--
LAURA: I'm going to--
LIAM: How many feet?
TRAVIS: 120.
LAURA: I'm going to say, "Run." And I'm going to cast Earthquake right under him.
MATT: Cast Earthquake right under him?
LAURA: Uh-huh.
MATT: Okay.
SAM: I'm going to cast Intellect Fortress on myself, and start running.
MATT: Okay. So Jester and Veth start running back through the tunnel you guys came from.
MARISHA: I'm going to haul ass, too. There's nothing I can do.
TALIESIN: I'm going to run that way, and say: Everyone with me. And I'm also-- I'm going to cast-- fuck it. I'm casting-- where did it go? Why won't you-- hold on. It's doing that thing where it-- Antimagic Field.
MATT: Okay. You all begin to run. Everyone else following suit?
ASHLEY: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Yep.
MATT: Running back through the tunnel where you came from, the ground beginning to crack, the elements that are stone and the parts that are flesh begin to shake and roil. You watch as the tethers above that attach to this central part, the Aether Crux itself, begin to (snap) (creak, ting) Like cables being snapped, parts are beginning to fall. Elements of the ceiling begin to crash down, like it's trying to physically attack with the full flesh of Cognouza itself upon Lucien, who begins laughing and laughing, just (laughs) (maniacal laughter) (shrieks of laughter) As you all run and run and run, (dull explosions) a series of flashes behind you. And you feel, especially you who's connected to this city, you feel the flex and the scream and the tensing of the entirety of Cognouza at once as its nerve center, the Somnovem that brought it together, are bombarded. And as you all fall to the ground, breathing deeply. In the ensuing silence. There's just quiet. No laughter, no sound. Just the eight of you. That's where we're going to end tonight's episode. (nervous sighs)
LAURA: What does that mean?
SAM: How does he--?
TALIESIN: We are so fucked.
LIAM: We don't know.
TRAVIS: If there were-- yeah. If there were nine entities controlling a living city, and now there's only one. Maybe-- I don't know.
TALIESIN: Or at least there's going to be a fight about it.
TRAVIS: I missed the first 45 seconds of what you were saying, because I was just trying to figure out what we could do to get to him. And there was nothing.
MARISHA: There's nothing.
ASHLEY: Wait, so we don't have ninth name, or Nonagon the 10th?
TALIESIN: I don't think it matters any more.
ASHLEY: It doesn't matter. Nothing matters.
MARISHA: Apparently, Nonagon is the harbinger, so we are missing a name.
ASHLEY: (sighs) Okay.
TRAVIS: I think Lucien is the harbinger.
LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
LIAM: I wasn't saying anything because I'm currently immune to psychic damage, and I was so tempted to fly straight at him, but I'm not immune to things collapsing on me.
TRAVIS: No.
LAURA: Oh sorry.
LIAM: So I was just like--
TALIESIN: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Same.
MATT: But the earthquake. (laughs)
LAURA: Oh sorry, I was trying to take him out.
LIAM: Do what you got to do.
MATT: It's all good.
TRAVIS: I thought about putting Arcane Gate right behind him, and just pushing all of the intuit charges, getting 500 feet away. But that would-- I wouldn't make it there in time.
LIAM: And if he set it off, all of our friends are in range. It doesn't matter that I'm immune, all of you would die.
TALIESIN: I've got a 10-foot barrier right now, where very little, except for--
TRAVIS: It went off. So we're good.
LAURA: Yeah, all the charges went off.
MARISHA: My first thought was maybe wish that all the intuit charges were rubber ducks or something. I don't know, but I didn't.
TRAVIS: It got real bad, and then it got better. And now I can't tell if it's worse or not. I thought for a moment there, we were going to be fighting Lucien and nine entities in a lair action situation. And now I don't know where we are.
TALIESIN: Nine entities that don't like each other. Now we just have one that really likes themselves.
LAURA: And has everything we're standing on, is trying to attack us.
MARISHA: And I can't shake the fact that we're eight and Lucien makes nine.
LAURA: (laughs)
TALIESIN: This whole game is so ridiculous.
MATT: This whole fucking campaign.
MARISHA: Patterns, fractals, fractals, patterns, patterns, fractals.
LIAM: The Mighty Nein.
MATT: Well, we're going to go ahead and pick this up here next time. Thank you all so much for joining us.
TRAVIS: No! No, you can't do this!
MARISHA: (screams) What does it mean?!
MATT: We love you very much.
TRAVIS: No, we got to keep playing!
MATT: And--
ASHLEY: We have to keep playing, right now! (laughter)
MATT: Is it Thursday yet? (groaning and yelling) Good night.
ASHLEY: I'm not done playing yet!