List of Transcripts

Pre-Show

MATT: Hello, everyone and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role where a bunch of us nerdy ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

SAM: We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: And deal with this week. Hi guys.

TRAVIS: Hi.

LIAM: Hi, everybody. Hi, hi. Hi, everybody. Hi. (clears throat) Oh.

MATT: I don't even. However, so before we get into all that, first, we have our fantastic friend and sponsor of the show since the beginning of this campaign, our friends at D&D Beyond. Sam.

(cheering)

SAM: D&D Beyond, guys. There's only one campaign we're talking about this week and that's the campaign for president of D&D Beyond.

(laughter)

D&D Beyond is so behind this race between me and Liam that they've added a new feature. You can show your campaign support for the D&D Beyond presidential candidates by using the code of your choice, either ISUPPORTSAM, all one word, or ISUPPORTLIAM. Both codes provide a 25% discount off any full digital books in your cart. I feel like ISUPPORTSAM should be 25 and a half percent, but whatever. If you apply one at checkout. The codes do not apply to the Legendary Bundle. It can only be used one at a time. Link is dndbeyond.com/marketplace.

LAURA: No.

SAM: (laughs) Anyway. I'm so appreciative of this new feature that they added. I went skiing this weekend with my family. It was a lovely, wonderful getaway vacation purely for pleasure, but in order to make it tax deductible, I shot-- (laughter) I shot a video for D&D Beyond while I was skiing. Let's roll--

LAURA: You really did that, too.

SAM: And I will definitely deduct the entire cost of my vacation.

LIAM: Are you about to use your kids to shill D&D; Beyond?

MATT: This is a great thing to do on video.

SAM: The IRS isn't watching, right?

MATT: This is something that'll show up everywhere.

SAM: If you work for the IRS, I'm just joking?

(laughter)

SAM: But if you don't, I'm not. So let's roll the new awesome ad shot on location in Park City, Utah.

(groaning)

SAM: (out of breath) Hey, guys. D&D Beyond is one of the best apps I've ever encountered. You can manage your characters and treasure for your favorite tabletop roleplaying game, Dungeons & Dragons. I use it. You should, too. If you go right now and subscribe at dndbeyond/subscribe? I don't know, maybe that's wrong. I don't know what it is, it's hard to concentrate, but if you subscribe, you'll get access to all their content, which has some special Critical Role content. That's right, stuff that you can only find at D&DBeyond. It's also got all your favorite-- what are they called? Guidebooks and stuff and literature. And-- (off balance noises) Whoa! (soft thud) (panting) Get it, guys. I'm not a great skier! That was a green slope, and right after that happened these wonderful three women came over to me, so concerned. They were like oh my god, are you okay, are you hurt? I was like no no no, it's a bit. (laughter) It's a bit, and they got so pissed off. They were like what?

MATT: And rightfully so, to be fair.

LIAM: There you go, that's all you need to know. Sam Riegel abusing emergency help on the slopes.

(laughter)

SAM: Yes, but for your entertainment, which is really what D&D's about. Not about rules, about entertainment. So thank you, D&D Beyond, and we will check in with you next week.

MATT: Thank you, Sam, for showing me what skiing's like. I've never been and I don't ever intend to.

TRAVIS: Oh, we got to remedy that.

MATT: No, I have no interest! No!

LAURA: We'll be on the kiddy slopes together.

MATT: (emphatic) No!

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: No! I stay indoors, I build snowmen out of snow, I throw snowballs, and that's the extent of my relationship with it.

LIAM: You will do Hot Pepper Gaming 17 times, but you won't go skiing?

MATT: Yeah. People die when they ski.

TRAVIS: They die when they eat ghost peppers and you've done it twice.

MATT: Touche. Anyway, thank you D&D Beyond. Thank you, Sam.

LIAM: Everybody's got a thing. Everybody's got a thing.

MATT: I don't know. I got too much--

LAURA: Travis has The Ring girl. You have skiing.

TRAVIS: Why, why? Leave it on him. all right?

(laughter)

MATT: And apparently Madam Musk. So Travis, do you want to talk about the other craziness this week?

TRAVIS: Madam Musk, right. In case you missed the news this week, we are creating a Vox Machina animated series. (cheering) Because of the incredible response to the Kickstarter, which we are just continuously blown away by. It's hard to breathe sometimes. We find ourselves staring quite a bit.

MARISHA: Is this real life?

MARISHA and TRAVIS: I don't know.

TRAVIS: I'm not sure. So far we are up to six 22 minute episodes. For a little bit of clarity, the first two episodes of our series will contain a brand new, original Vox Machina story, adventure that has never been seen before, never been heard, and the rest of the four episodes that you guys have helped us get to already will start the story of the Briarwood Arc.

(growling)

TRAVIS: Obviously the more we raise, the more episodes we'll be able to deliver. We did have a special Q&A with the community on Monday and it is available at youtube.com/criticalrole. If you would like to learn more about the campaign you can join it now. If you haven't, until April 18th at 11:59PM Pacific at critrole.com/animated.

MARISHA: Crit Role!

SAM: You said that so calm.

LAURA: Critters are amazing!

TRAVIS: I'm try to keep it--

MATT: Here's the thing. None of us expected this. People say you should've, but this is in a scale we ever expected. We're super excited about this series. This community has come out in full force and really shown, not just the Critters, but the tabletop gaming community here and beyond, and it's overwhelming, it's humbling. There is so much more out there to support. Beyond this, and wherever this goes, people who haven't had the opportunity to get engaged, please do, help make it go on, but also there are so many great creators out there, there are game designers and artists and people out there who are a part of this community that have Kickstarters and Patreons out there. You can go ahead and also help support them. Go to the hashtag #FunDiverseGames on Twitter to see a vast number of incredible creators out there that do not get anywhere near the attention and support that we do. This is an opportunity, as this grows and we grow and this community grows, there are more and more opportunities for us to make sure that we can lift up everyone else around us, and we're committed to that, and we'll continue to be committed to that and you guys should, too. Thank you for all this fantastic support, and we are but one in a sea of many amazing people out there, and just pay it forward and spread it around as much as you can. As much as you can, don't get too rough on this, but thank you for everything, and I'm proud of all the stuff that we can do for each other going forward, too.

TRAVIS: Yes. Hear hear! Hear hear!

LIAM: There's possibly never been a better time to be a self-starter than right now.

LAURA: There's possibly never been a better time to be a nerd.

SAM: Yeah!

TRAVIS: Truth. Truth.

MARISHA: We did inherit the Earth.

LAURA: Yay!

TRAVIS: People that have never heard about D&D before, RPG gaming, all this stuff, man, they are paying attention now.

MATT: Thank you guys so much. Without further ado, I think now is the time to jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role.

(cheering) (water bubbling) (thunder) (loud explosion) (chanting) ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Role the dice ♪ ♪ The adventure begins ♪ ♪ They were always beside you ♪ ♪ Your nerdy best friends ♪ ♪ And the DM to guide you ♪ ♪ And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead ♪ ♪ Villains beware because you're 'bout to be dead ♪ (epic orchestra music) ♪ They got magic and flair, they got falchions and cunning ♪ ♪ They don't see over there, there's a monster incoming ♪ ♪ Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don't think twice ♪ ♪ Put your fate in your hands, take a chance ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Can you answer the call? ♪ ♪ Digging deep in your soul ♪ ♪ As the legend unfolds ♪ ♪ Now it's your turn ♪ ♪ To roll ♪ (fire burning)

Part I

MATT: (deadpan) And welcome back, everyone.

(laughter)

LIAM: Got to keep us all humble, Matt.

SAM: The thing is-- I don't know if the cameras are on me yet. Tonight, everyone's so happy that I felt like I could get away with this.

(laughter)

Because everyone's happy. It's all a celebration, right? So he can't do anything to me. I'm untouchable! Yeah!

LAURA: Nott's going down tonight.

TALIESIN: I, for one, am excited for your new character.

SAM: Before you start, Matt, I'm sorry, I forgot to do this in the intro. New stretch goals, guys. So we got this flask, normal, normal.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: If we hit 7.5, we go up to this one.

(laughter)

And if we get to 8.8.

TRAVIS: What the fuck?

(laughter)

SAM: It's this one. Those are the stretch goals.

TRAVIS: (high-pitched) Where were you hiding that?

SAM: This is a four gallon flask.

LAURA: Oh no!

SAM: Holds 28 bottles of wine or something like that. You won't even be able to see my face!

MATT: Well, in that case, let's definitely try and do it for that.

SAM: These were sent in by some wonderful Critters, whose names I don't have in front of me, but thank you for these amazing flasks. I don't know why people would even make a flask this big. If someone can find a bigger one, I'll put it on the show.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: Last we left off.

LIAM: Oh boy.

MATT: The Mighty Nein are making their way across the eastern wastes of Xhorhas, in search of the kidnapped husband of Nott, Yeza. Discarded in a past life with the death and reincarnation of Nott not too long before, and hearing that him getting caught up in the conflict between the Dwendalian Empire and Xhorhas. You've gone to hunt down his location and seem to have pinpointed it somewhere near or in Ghor Dranas, the capital city of the Kryn Dynasty. You made your way onto the mountains of the Ashkeeper Peaks, battled through the wastes, and interacted with a number of the denizens of Asarius, the city of beasts. Here, under the Kryn Dynasty, you have come to discover a society that is not held by humans, dwarves, elves, but by gnolls, bugbears, goblins, kobolds, and, of course, the ruling drow, it seems, the dark elves of the Kryn Dynasty. You made some friends, you made a trade and paid for three Moorbounder beasts to aid you in your travel eastward towards the capital. You trained with them. Successfully for the most part. You begin to discover strange rifts that began to spring up and lurk beneath the city that were allowing various entities from the abyss to begin to harass and encroach upon Asarius itself. You spoke with one of these Kryn representatives here in this city. She notified you that there were two goals here you could achieve, one is to search for a perceived spy from the Dwendalian Empire that existed in the Four Corners, or involved somewhat with the Four Corners tavern. And to find the source of this demonic incursion and snuff it out. Pay for both, but for the incursion, perhaps pay, or a favor with the dynasty itself in the capital. You began your first search, going to the Four Corners bar under the guise of the various unique and eclectic individuals that seem to exist and impermeate this society. You found one of these drow figures that caught your attention and attempted to communicate and try and gather some information from them. You also threw down the gauntlet, both Beau and Jester, into the Four Corners' gravel pit, which was a four person, battle royale, weapons allowed, possibly to the death based on what antes were placed in the center of this battlefield. In this fight, in which you were also joined by a large ogre, still somewhat damaged from his previous fight, but arrogantly accepting that he could probably still take you down, and this dark elf you had previously harassed upon your entry. In this fight, Jester fell unconscious. The ogre fell unconscious, and in the showdown between this drow with a somewhat familiar fight style, Beau also too fell. However, this figure also invited you to meet them in an alleyway not far from the city. Half the party followed, the other half got completely lost.

(laughter)

SAM: And are still--

MATT: And are still lost, wandering a space they are unfamiliar with amongst creatures that may or may not be amiable to your presence.

TRAVIS: Nope. No problems.

MATT: Those of you that made it, you followed this drow into a nearby small storage shed. Upon which it was revealed that this was some sort of illusion or physical transmutation. And there before you, you saw Dairon, the beautiful, dark-skinned, shaved head, long-eared elf monk of the Cobalt Soul, and for lack of a better term, the Expositor caseworker of Beauregard.

TALIESIN: Social worker?

MATT: Kind of. That's where we left off. If I recall, the ones that made it to this were Beau, Jester, and Caleb.

TRAVIS: (laughs sadly)

MATT: While the rest of you, along with Yasha--

TRAVIS: Cacaw!

MATT: --are wandering aimlessly. In this enclosed space, pressed up against the dark wooden walls, the smell of musty rice and grain and what may also have been a previously kept amount of tobacco that has left this kind of pungent stench that is slowly fading as time goes on. Dairon looks to you. "So what the hell are you doing here?"

LAURA: We can trust her, right?

MARISHA: Yeah, of course.

LIAM: Who is "her"? Who is this?

MARISHA: This is my mentor.

MATT: "Who are these people? Who are these individuals?"

LAURA: Hiiiiiiii.

MARISHA: This is the group.

LAURA: I'm Jester.

MARISHA: That's Jester. And that's Caleb.

LIAM: Widogast.

MARISHA: Widogast. This is the group I've been working with. We've been doing good things.

MATT: "Good things like traveling into enemy territory?"

MARISHA: Yeah, well, we're looking for someone who was abducted by the Kryn army. A friend of ours who's also... Where's Nott? Where is everybody else? I thought they were right behind us.

LAURA: I don't know. They disappeared after we left the bar.

LIAM: There was a bit of a fray at the end there.

MARISHA: The other ones that are coming.

MATT: "If you have the rest of your friends with you, I'm very hopeful they have not disappeared."

MARISHA: What are you doing here?

LAURA: Caleb, send a message.

LIAM: Yeah. Ja. I pull out the wire and hold it up to my mouth and I aim towards the door and say: Nott, make your way back to the bar, the same bar, and wait for us there, okay? I will come find you. Reply to this message, please.

SAM: Do I hear it? He has to point it in my direction.

MATT: Yeah. At first, to you there's no response. You gather the base direction of where the bar was and in the second attempt, you do manage to get through.

LIAM: Okay, so I repeat something like that the second time.

SAM: Oh wait, where are you again? Sorry, we're behind the bar, what?

LIAM: Jester, Beauregard and I are with a friend of Beauregard's not too far away. You're at the bar now? Reply to this message, bitte.

SAM: No, no, we left the bar. We went in the back alley. There's some barrels. I'm trying to see if there's a street sign. You can reply to this message.

TRAVIS: Is that Caleb?

SAM: Yeah, of course, who else would it be?

TRAVIS: I don't know who you know.

TALIESIN: Can we reply to that message, or was that just the reply to another replied message?

SAM: I don't remember anymore, but I'm just going to keep casting Message over and over again.

(laughter)

LIAM: I apologize, one moment. We are not too far from the bar, in fact we are only a few blocks away but--

LAURA: It was just a little down and then it was a left. Tell him you take a left and then you take a right.

MARISHA: It was the second alley after--

LAURA: I think there was a store that had--

MATT: "Shh, keep it down."

SAM: I can't see the sun, so I don't know which way's north, but can you clap? Clap really loud or something so we know where you are.

LIAM: I'm not going to do that.

LAURA: Caleb, talk quieter. We have to be quiet.

LIAM: Go to the bar and wait--

SAM: Go in the bar.

LIAM: Go to the front of the bar and I am going to meet you there.

SAM: Front of the bar, meet you there. We're going to meet them at the front of the bar.

TRAVIS: At the front door?

LAURA: Are you leaving right now, Caleb?

TRAVIS: We got to go through the bar?

SAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Why don't we just walk around?

SAM: We can do that. Let's go around.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we'll walk around the bar.

SAM: We're going to go around the bar. And meet you at the front door.

TRAVIS: Ask him, is it just him?

SAM: Just you? You can reply to this message.

LIAM: I am with a group of people, including people you know, but I am coming by myself, stay there.

MARISHA: We'll wait.

LAURA: Oh god, this is such-- everybody's had this text conversation in the past.

SAM: You stay there, we're going to move, all right.

TRAVIS: We're going somewhere else?

SAM: We're going to go around the bar.

TRAVIS: Oh, to the front.

SAM: Yeah. They're saving us seats for the movie.

MARISHA: We'll hold off on the important bits. Go.

LIAM: I'll be right back.

MATT: Dairon is staring right through you, Beauregard, and going--

MARISHA: What? Why are you looking at me like that?

MATT: "These are your companions for a mission to infiltrate?"

MARISHA: Yeah, they're fucking great. We were pirates for like three months.

LAURA: Yeah, we were really good pirates. Super duper good.

MATT: "All right."

MARISHA: You should've seen what we did.

TRAVIS: "Fucking great."

LIAM: Anyway, I am going to go outside now. Tschüss. I leave and head towards the bar.

MATT: You do notice also the shed can maybe contain the four of you.

LAURA: Do you have somewhere bigger we can meet?

MARISHA: Is this where you've been staying?

MATT: "No, but it was the closest place I can think of which it would be most private."

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: "And because the Four Corners Tavern exterior huts are very open. Anyway. So you're searching for someone, this person who was taken, you say?"

MARISHA: Yeah, a friend of ours. Her husband.

LAURA: In Ghor Dranas.

MARISHA: They were taken by a few wizardly-looking type of people. Mages.

LAURA: Were they taken by the mages, or were they taken by the Kryn because the mages were interested in them?

MARISHA: Feels like they could be potentially one and the same.

MATT: "Which mages took them?"

MARISHA: I wrote notes.

LAURA: There was an old guy, and there was also this lady who looked a little intimidating.

MATT: "Is this on the Dynasty side, or is this in the Empire?"

LAURA: See, I think that was the Empire side. I'm not actually from either place, so it's hard for me to know exactly.

MATT: "Very interesting."

LAURA: Yeah, they're from the Empire. I think the Kryn took him away from them.

MATT: "All right."

MARISHA: But the Empire people seemed to have interest.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was studying-- what's that word? About the time stuff, dunim...

MATT: "Dunamancy, yes, that is a specialty of the Kryn. Do you know which individuals this was? Do you have names?"

MARISHA: Yeah, Lady Vess DeRogna and Archmage Ludinus Da'leth.

MATT: "(chuckles) Of course it would be. All right."

MARISHA: What does that mean?

MATT: "I have my own business here, and it seems maybe parts of our paths are not entirely disparate."

LAURA: Do you work for them? Tell me you don't work for them.

MATT: "No, I do not work for them."

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: The Cobalt Reserve and the Cerberus Assembly disagree on many things.

LAURA: Oh!

MATT: "I believe I spoke with you last, correct?"

LAURA: Yes.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: "From the spell? Sent words to me?"

LAURA: Yes, yes, yes.

MATT: "I apologize for the ruse."

MARISHA: Yeah, what the hell?

MATT: "I'm doing very specific secretive work here and I was not to be followed. Not supposed to be."

LAURA: Lady Olios is looking for you.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: She's aware that you're here. Unless there's another spy from the Empire around, but I don't think so.

MARISHA: She said to look for you at the Four Corners. As soon as I saw you looking through me, it felt really familiar, as you're doing right now.

MATT: "Well, to be perfectly honest, you are most likely the least likely person I would have seen walk into that door. Especially with this little bit of a disguise," and she rubs some of the mud off your cheek.

MARISHA: Yeah, well, you know, can't fucking help that I'm the only simple fucking human who can't change into shit here. Can you help with that?

MATT: "Not now. I have my own preparations." She touches a ring on her middle finger and goes, "I need this, but get more prepared next time." At this point, Caleb, have you retrieved the rest of the party?

LIAM: Yeah, I go to the bar and I wait in front of the building.

MATT: You guys arrive at the same time and they're like--

LIAM: Like no one would know anything was wrong.

MARISHA: Speaking of bar: Thanks Alex and Tyler and Henry.

MATT: But yeah, you guys are gathered by Caleb.

LIAM: Where did you go? Where did you go? Where were you?

SAM: Literally nowhere. We were in the back looking for you.

LIAM: Come on, save it.

SAM: I was waving everywhere.

LIAM: Save it. We're going a couple blocks away.

TRAVIS: Are you guys safe? Are we going into a fight?

LIAM: No, it is someone that Beauregard knows from her past, I'm a little fuzzy on the details. It's like a broom closet, though, I don't know if we're going to fit.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: Does this count as a rest?

MATT: No.

LAURA: Fuck.

MARISHA: Oh yeah, we're super fucked up.

TRAVIS: Can we keep an eye to see if anyone's watching us go towards this broom closet?

MATT: Yes, you may. Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: That's a "fid-ine."

MATT: That's not a word.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: 15.

MATT: 15! That is a word, actually, thank you very much.

TALIESIN: 14.

MATT: 14? Okay. You-- Caduceus' color scheme draws a little bit of attention.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Those pastels, goddamn it.

MATT: You're fine, Nott, you blend in well. You get the sense that people are noticing your presence, but you don't seem to be followed or drawing enough attention to where you're going to have to dodge anybody. If you wish to be more careful you could attempt to stealth your way towards this alley, that is your choice.

LAURA: I just cast Cure Wounds on you at 1st-level, so you got ten healing points.

MARISHA: Thank you, Jester.

LAURA: I cast it on myself, too, for 13 healing points.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Caduceus.

TALIESIN: Yeah?

TRAVIS: Look a little grumpier. Yeah, now give me a real sour puss. Yeah, now chew on the back of your teeth. Let me see your jaw move. There you go. Now keep that face while we're walking, all right?

LIAM: Also, bend your head down. Come to me, bend your head down. I pull a little bit of mud out of my pocket and I slap it down on top of his pink hair.

TALIESIN: That's cold. That's really cold.

LIAM: You're a mess. That's good, let's go.

MATT: All right. At this point you guys, while this conversation's happening, you've managed to gather everyone over there. You guys see Dairon standing there, wearing dark leathers and cobbled elements of elven pieces to look as inconspicuous as possible in this space. You do see an elven woman, dark brown skin, piercing eyes, very short cut hair with a single earring piercing on this side. She has a scowling expression mid-conversation with your other compatriots before she looks around at the rest of you and goes, "I'm going to be honest, I'm very impressed you have come this far without being noticed with such a... cluster."

TALIESIN: Did they tell you to make that face, too?

MATT: "I don't like most of them."

LAURA: I bet you like me.

MATT: "I was--"

(laughter)

MATT: As you guys approach, Dairon, you quickly gather, is a very direct individual. Their time is measured and their attention is specifically focused towards Beauregard. She, you can see, is very much a, "You guys are here, but talking to you." "I am trying to figure out a connection between the Kryn and the Assembly. I've been following the local leadership as they travel, seeking patterns and details of their plots, sending off what I can back towards Bladegarden. My next step is Ghor Dranas, if I can make it as well. I have a hunch that the Assembly may be aiding the Kryn in some way."

SAM: What?

MATT: "I need to get closer to their political center if I am to peel back some of these inner layers of intrigue and confirm my suspicions. Weed out this traitor, whoever they may be, and see just how deep this rabbit hole goes. If I can use it to tear down the entire Assembly from within upon my return, then I would have lived a very just life. On top of this, I've been seeing whispers and mutterings that the war effort of the Kryn is growing. What they lack in comparable numbers to the Empire, they make up for in zealous drive and mysterious magics. This dunamancy you speak of--"

LAURA: It's super powerful.

MATT: "And mostly not understood, which makes it extremely dangerous. What we cannot expect-- That is a huge boon on their end. I keep hearing whispers of new, terrible war machines that are in transit from Ghor Dranas towards the borders of the Empire. Now I've been staying here at the Four Corner's pens. They keep a series of small shacks behind it they rent out. It's a person stable, if you will. I'm over it, personally, but if they have any availability there, there maybe is a place to stay nearby. I don't know how long you intend to stay."

LAURA: Neither do we.

TALIESIN: We have the weird portal deal.

MATT: "What is your name?"

TALIESIN: Caduceus Clay, it's a pleasure-- oh. (grumpier) It's a pleasure to meet you.

TRAVIS: Deucey, you can-- not in here.

TALIESIN: Oh thank god, that was really hard, okay.

MATT: "Right, the goblin one."

SAM: Nott.

MATT: "Nott. And you?"

TRAVIS: I'm Fjord. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.

MATT: "Right. Well."

TALIESIN: You're the bird person. Oh, you're sending birds. You're the person who was sending birds. I think I figured out one of the things.

TRAVIS: Bird?

SAM: What birds?

TALIESIN: Like--

MATT: "That was indeed me, and now that I am aware that they have seen this, no more messages will go. The rest of my mission is directly gathering of information and returning myself."

MARISHA: Yeah, Dairon, I don't think we should stay here anymore. They're onto you and your track, and if we don't come back with you, somebody else will. I think we need to--

MATT: "Oh, I'm not traveling with you."

MARISHA: "What?"

MATT: "I operate alone. That's how I've survived this long. Like I said, I'm surprised you've made it this far with the seven of you. Eight is not going to aid this. I am a danger to you by proximity as you are a danger to me. Maybe we could reconvene, if you are indeed heading that far into the east, but it is folly to combine efforts in travel."

TRAVIS: We've done pretty well for ourselves, and if I may, I think it might be wise to perhaps throw her holiness off your scent by maybe framing someone else as this traitor if she's indeed looking for you. Might be worth a little extra effort in the day.

MATT: "If you were able to pull off such a deceit, then that would be a great boon to me and my movements, but...

TRAVIS: I defer to you, I don't know this person.

MATT: "At the very least, I'm moving soon. What you've told me is very grave for my interests here, but nevertheless I was moving further east."

LAURA: Why don't we just say we didn't find the spy, you know, and we just looked for those portals and stuff?

SAM: Seems safer.

TALIESIN: Or there's a middle way here. We give your bird friend enough time to leave town, and then we simply lead them to whatever's left of the operation once you've skedaddled. Prove that the operation's over and that we've found the mechanisms by which it was operating.

TRAVIS: Yeah, orchestrated.

TALIESIN: Orchestrated.

SAM: Do you have some sort of headquarters with a pile of birds somewhere?

LAURA: A bunch of notes scribbled and stuff that don't mean anything?

MARISHA: This is Dairon. She's a monk of the Cobalt Soul. She's my mentor. She's an Expositor.

TRAVIS: Oh. Yeah, I think you mentioned her before.

MARISHA and TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: "That is information I would prefer to not be spreading around in the future, if you don't mind."

TRAVIS: Which we did not hear. Not a problem.

LIAM: Eine frage, bitte. A question for you. I apologize, you say in the midst of this war between the Empire and the Kryn Dynasty, you feel that there are people from the Cerberus Assembly who are in league with someone?

MATT: "I have a hunch. There have been signs of meetings, whispers of something involving them, I'm still trying to discover the root, but I do not trust. Their interests lie with the Empire. Something about this dunamantic magics, as you mentioned, seems to be intrinsically tied to their movements as well."

LIAM: So suspicions, but no inkling as to motivation from the Empire side.

MATT: "I have spent enough time working in the Empire to know that they are not to be trusted. If anyone is to try and find a means to gain by pitting one side against the other, well, they are far more intelligent and clever than I am. And that is extremely scary to me."

LIAM: You have intentions of pulling them down, you say?

MATT: "With ever fiber of my being."

LIAM: That seems like a very tall order to me.

MATT: "I'm not alone. We are widely distributed, the Cobalt Soul. You carry one amongst your midst. Which, before I leave, let's have a conversation. Some of your techniques are a bit unfocused. Let me see if I can give you some guidance before I exit."

MARISHA: Right here?

LAURA: Fight, fight, fight, fight!

MATT: Leans out into the alleyway. "No!"

TALIESIN: We also wouldn't say no if you happen to have any leads on mysterious creatures appearing in town. We do actually have our own issues to deal with.

MATT: "I mean I've heard of there being some murders recently, but that was the extent of anything extremely strange. Everyone now seems to be focused on the conflict and worried about losing their foothold over in the various encampments they've taken."

SAM: Were these murders localized on any one area of town or just all over?

TALIESIN: On one family.

LAURA: Old Potis' family.

MATT: "That would be the one."

SAM: Oh just that one that you've heard?

MATT: "All that I've heard recently, but I haven't seen any strange creatures, something of the Infernal," and looks to Caleb and goes, "other than you and your background."

SAM: Oh, because you're a demon person.

LAURA: What?

SAM: Aren't you?

TALIESIN: A what?

LIAM: You're referring to this?

MATT: "Yes."

LAURA: Oh.

LIAM: Sorry, it's a sore spot for me.

MATT: "It's all right. I would also say if you're going to walk through this town, do your best to not reveal such a thick Zemnian dialect. That would be an immediate giveaway."

LIAM: This is the front. It's not my real accent.

SAM: What's your real accent? One more question on a more personal level, you said you're headed towards Ghor Dranas?

MATT: "I am."

SAM: Do you have any intelligence about where you're headed? Like, for instance, if there was a political prisoner being held, maybe where they would be, what--

MATT: "I have no idea, I have not been there before."

SAM: Do you have a contact you are meeting there?

MATT: "No. I am my own agent in this, but I'm sent on this because I am very good at working alone."

TRAVIS: Yeah, we got it.

TALIESIN: On the other hand, you now have friends, so when you get to this town, if you could actually maybe do a little digging and we could message you at some point maybe, I mean we know what direction you're going to be.

LAURA: That would be great. Just tell us what it looks like and where to enter.

TALIESIN: Or if you've heard anything about the person that we're looking for.

LAURA: Like where soldiers are less concentrated and stuff so we could get in and stuff, that'd be great.

TALIESIN: Obviously you'd still be alone, a lone wolf.

SAM: We're constantly talking to you--

MARISHA: Everyone shut up for a minute.

MATT: Dairon turns to you and goes, "Do you trust these people? Do your instincts tell you that they can be trusted?"

TRAVIS: All right, close talk, let's everybody step out and give them a minute, just a second.

MARISHA: Thank you, Fjord.

LAURA: Yes, everyone leave okay? It's just us girls and--

TRAVIS: Jester, would you mind?

MARISHA: Yeah, kind of. Look, that's beyond the point. I have a lot of good information, a lot of things that I can inform you of, but you keep writing me off pretty fucking easily right now.

MATT: "I'm not writing you off, I'm writing them off. We have to be careful what information is disseminated."

MARISHA: What was I supposed to do? Just go out alone and just piss into the wind?

MATT: "No. I mean..."

MARISHA: How was I supposed to get better? You fucking left! You told me you were going to Bladegarden for a month.

MATT: "That was to prevent you from being foolish enough to follow me east. But that happened anyway."

MARISHA: And not because of you.

MATT: "Well, regardless, I'm just concerned for your well-being."

MARISHA: And I'm concerned for yours.

MATT: "Good."

MARISHA: We can do great if maybe we team up a little bit, you know?

MATT: "And maybe we can. If you trust these people, and I know you, even the time we've had just a brief bit, to be a very insightful individual. If you trust them, then I trust you. But I specialize in moving unseen alone. If you can survive moving to Ghor Dranas as you intend to go, then reach out to me. We can reconvene there. But you have to find your own way and I will find mine."

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: "Inform your friends."

MARISHA: They're doing experiments on people. The Cerberus Assembly.

MATT: "This does not surprise me."

MARISHA: Weird crystals and magic. Trying to enhance their... Beings, I don't know, whatever.

MATT: "The biggest mistake the bloodline ever made was letting them have any sort of seat of power in the government. Well."

MARISHA: Where do you stand with the Kryn on this?

MATT: "Stand with the Kryn?"

MARISHA: Are they-- I don't know. Do you have any idea of their motivation?

MATT: "I don't trust any political figure. If you had been paying attention in your historical studies, you know the drow cannot be trusted."

MARISHA: That seems like a generalization considering--

MATT: "I've lost people important to me."

MARISHA: So even more reason for biasness. I would think you-- you taught me that!

MATT: "I appreciate your interest in my wellbeing, but you are young, you are unfocused, and you have much to learn. Now I see great possibility in you, you have potential. But you need to listen. And think before you act. Your rash, intense behavior will be your downfall. And then you'll achieve nothing. You've grown, I can see it. I'm very impressed by what you displayed there in the gravel pit."

MARISHA: I've had good conversations too, just fucking no one's been there to fucking see it.

MATT: "That means you're doing it well. No one has to see what you're doing if it's good. As long as it's doing good. Do you think anyone cares about the things I've done? I've done many things, not many I'm proud of, but they have served the goodness of others. They have enabled many people who could not defend themselves in the Empire to survive and improve. I do not do this for accolades. I do this because I serve a purpose of a better world for those who cannot defend themselves. Can you serve that purpose?"

MARISHA: I can try.

MATT: "Then do not wait for them to see what you do that is good. Just know that you've done good, and hope you live long enough to see the impact it has."

MARISHA: Could be dead tomorrow.

MATT: "You could, but you're not yet."

MARISHA: Not yet.

MATT: "So listen. Be patient. Protect these friends you've made, but don't get too close."

MARISHA: I haven't.

MATT: "Good. Now I need to go and collect my things, my birds, my materials for travel."

MARISHA: Did you name your birds?

MATT: "No. Do not get too close."

(laughter)

MARISHA: You should have Jester name your birds--

MATT: "I named a bird once and it never came back, so I do not name my birds."

MARISHA: She has a ferret named Sprinkle that has survived against all fucking odds, Dairon. I'm just saying maybe... You can mix it up or something, maybe.

LAURA: I knock on the door and say: It's a weasel!

MARISHA: Weasel.

MATT: "I appreciate your concern, I will say that weasels are not known for their ability to travel long distances with messages safely."

MARISHA: No, but they can hold their breath for a real long fucking time, apparently.

MATT: "Noted."

MARISHA: Just throwing it out there.

MATT: "No, that will be important to add to the archives of the Cobalt Soul."

LIAM: Monk talk.

MATT: "Nevertheless, before I leave, I think it is important to teach you a few things."

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: "After the sun is down, look for me on the outskirts behind the Four Corners."

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: "I think I have a place where we can safely train."

MARISHA: How will I... I'll find you.

MATT: "You'll find me. If you are capable of doing the things you wish to do, you should be able to find me."

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: She grabs the ring and twists it a bit and her form turns back into that of a dark elf.

TRAVIS: Dope!

MARISHA: I want that.

MATT: Walks past you and takes a moment, put her hand on your shoulder and says, "Please live," and walks past and walks through the door to the rest of you. "Thank you for your patience, and good luck."

LAURA: You too.

MATT: She turns around and just leaves down the alleyway and vanishes around the corner.

SAM: Intrigue.

TRAVIS: That end on good terms?

MARISHA: Yeah, I'm going to meet up with her later.

TRAVIS: To?

MARISHA: Train.

TRAVIS: Ah.

LIAM: This evening? Are we still leaving tomorrow? Is that the plan?

LAURA: I guess it depends on if you guys want to search for, you know...

TRAVIS: The rifts?

LAURA: Yeah, portals into a whole other dimension and stuff.

SAM: What time is it?

MATT: At this point in the day, I'd say it's maybe two o'clock in the afternoon.

SAM: We can at least spend the rest of the day snooping around

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Right.

TALIESIN: I thought that favor would be worth something.

SAM: I agree.

LAURA: My spells got depleted in that fisticuffs.

MARISHA: Yeah, I'm pretty tired still.

LAURA: I won't be very good at healing you guys if anything happens.

TALIESIN: Well, if we find something, then we can save it for tomorrow.

LAURA: Yeah, we always do that.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Yeah. Do you need a short or a long?

LAURA: I would need a long rest.

LIAM: Go eat. At the inn and not have a fist fight. And take it easy.

TRAVIS: Let's do that.

MARISHA: A short rest would be nice.

TRAVIS: Let's get some food and take a long rest.

SAM: A long rest?

LAURA: A short rest.

TRAVIS: I meant a short rest.

TALIESIN: A long short rest.

TRAVIS: Yep.

LIAM: As short rests go on the longer side.

SAM: Caleb, before we go.

LAURA: What the fuck did you mean?

SAM: Were you just BSing? Is this your real accent?

LIAM: This is my real accent.

SAM: So you were lying.

LIAM: I was lying.

SAM: So clever.

LAURA: You should seriously listen to her then because that is a really noticeable accent.

SAM: Can you try a different accent?

LIAM: I am terrible at accents.

SAM: Try one. Try to sound like me. Sound like me.

LIAM: (awkwardly) Try to sound like you.

SAM: Wow!

LIAM: I am a little goblin, and I like buttons.

SAM: Do an easier one.

TRAVIS: Do Jester, yeah, do Jester.

LAURA: Do me, I'm closer to your accent, yeah yeah yeah.

LIAM: (bad Jester accent) Oh, hi.

LAURA: Yes!

LIAM: I am loving pastries, and also my god is-- What? My god is so cool, you guys.

LAURA: That's really good.

SAM: What if you did a little Fjord?

LIAM: (pronounced German accent) Eldritch blast.

SAM: Nope! I think you put extra consonants that aren't even there!

LIAM: Eld-rich, Eld-ridge blast.

SAM: "Blaest?!" There are no Es in that word.

TRAVIS: I hope I don't sound like that. That is a ding to the ol' self-confidence.

LIAM: I like to swallow swords.

TRAVIS: Nope, I never said that. That's not what I-- I don't say that ever. You know, maybe it's just better you stick with what works.

LIAM: I, Liam, who am very good at accents am finding it so hard to be Zemnian and really bad at accents.

TALIESIN: It's so good though.

LAURA: Just don't talk. Just don't talk maybe. In places where people can hear you and stuff.

LIAM: (bad Caduceus accent) That's nice.

TRAVIS: Okay, wow.

LAURA: That sounded a lot like, honestly that sounded a lot like--

SAM: Say technically, say technically.

LAURA: Technically.

LIAM: Tek-a-nick-ly. Technically.

TALIESIN: This counts as a long rest right now, I feel like.

MATT: By the end of this conversation, probably.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

TRAVIS: I bet we can grab a meal, and then, I mean where else are we going to look for these rifts? I mean the only other thing I can think of is maybe checking where the guy who murdered his wife, where did he work every day, was there somewhere he frequented?

TALIESIN: That's a good idea.

SAM: We also have one other lead, maybe? Someone mentioned, was it the bunch of kobolds in a bag or whatever? Who said--

TRAVIS: They needed materials, right?

SAM: From a very strange, the tumor moss plant in this grove near the thing that was uncorrupted. Maybe it's uncorrupted because it's the source of the rifts or something like that.

TALIESIN: Tuba moss. Tuber moss.

LAURA: Tuber moss?

SAM: I thought it was tumor moss.

MATT, TALIESIN, SAM, and LAURA: Tumor moss.

TALIESIN: Is it moss that grows on a tumor?

MARISHA: Or is it--

TALIESIN: I thought it would be a tuber.

LAURA: Or is it moss that grows really fast? Because don't tumors do that?

TALIESIN: I've legitimately been thinking about a tuber this entire time.

TRAVIS: If we're actually searching for a plant and then just trying to figure out where a guy worked, that doesn't seem super dangerous, it seems like we can divide and conquer, yeah?

LAURA: I don't think we should divide anything.

SAM: Well, let's go ask around at maybe the pub nearest to his house. Maybe he went there to eat dinner.

MARISHA: Also maybe to Dairon's point, all of us roaming together might be a little suspicious in these daytime hours, I don't know.

LAURA: Then we should separate Nott and Caleb so we can keep our messages with each other.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but maybe we can just give ourselves distance. Like 50 feet in-between. You enter the pub first, we come in a little later, sit at different tables, keep an eye on each other.

MARISHA: That's a good point. We could probably do that.

TRAVIS: Yep. If one of us goes out the back door, we fucking plan ahead of time where we're meeting.

MARISHA: I thought you were going to come right around the front, man.

TRAVIS: That's where we-- I did, we turned the corner, no one to be seen. You're fucking gone, what do we--

MARISHA: Sorry, she was moving fast. I didn't want to lose her. You know what, probably my fault in hindsight, sorry.

LAURA: No it wasn't, Beau. SAM: The front door of the bar's our designated meeting place if we get split up, all right? Front of the Four Corners. If we ask around, are we in the area where the crazy man who killed his family--

LAURA: Old Potis.

MATT: Make an investigation check if you want to spend the next period of time asking around and inquiring about it.

SAM: Big money, big money.

TALIESIN: We're going to be asking in the bar while we--

SAM: 24.

MATT: 24, nice. All right, so a few things, actually. In asking around some of the strange individuals that make their space and time here in this rowdy Four Corners tavern, you hear the sound of fisticuffs and angry grunts as a new bout of four contenders are throwing their ante into the ring and are beating the shit out of each other. You hear someone scream out as they're shanked and everyone goes, "Oh!" in the background, there's a blood splatter in the gravel and you wait for the fight to finish, and then one of them appears to be bleeding out, they drag him outside, then somebody goes and turns the gravel over like a cat box, just prevent it from being seen.

TALIESIN: I keep hitting Spare the Dying on everybody who drops quietly in the back.

MATT: Oh you're really sweet, Caduceus.

TALIESIN: It's a bonus action, man.

MATT: Yeah, go for it. You hear one kind of... Intense-looking gnoll. Huge scarred face, one eye is just ruined and healed over and unusable. Begins talking about how-- "I've been hearing about strange dreams. People keep saying they hear creepy sounds and howls at night near the northern center of town."

SAM: Northern center of town?

MATT: "Yeah, spooking folks, it's been strange. I haven't been there, but a few guys I know in the region haven't been sleeping well, hearing these noises, waking up in the middle of the night."

SAM: Is that area of town called anything, or is it just northern center?

MATT: "It's the northern center."

SAM: All right. Is there a pub or tavern near there that we could--(stammering)

MARISHA: He just gave up.

MATT: "No, only just people finding places to live."

SAM: No, just around there. All right. Know anything about a grove near the Ifolon River?

LAURA: I think that's outside of town.

MATT: "No, haven't heard of it." (snarls) Leaves the space. Eventually you come around to another goblin who's sitting there, one of the workers of the bugbear that runs the Four Corners, who's in the process of washing the glasses poorly. Younger goblin you see with these bright vibrant yellow eyes that never seem to blink, lidless almost. Big wide flapping ears, and a jaw that seems to be protruding and hooking up to the point where he has this heavy underbite. He overhears the conversation and goes, "Are you here about the-- the screaming? The howls?

SAM: The what?

MATT: "People been saying they've been seeing eyes in the shadows."

LAURA: Those are the creatures that come out--

SAM: Where have you heard this, fellow goblin friend?

MATT: "Yeah."

SAM: Where has this been?

MATT: "People saying it's that part of the neighborhood around the well."

SAM and LAURA: Around the well?

MATT: "Yeah! Northern center, like he said."

TALIESIN: I've always been a fan of a haunted well.

MARISHA: Does it sing back to you when you sing into it?

TALIESIN: I mean wells are great.

MATT: "You talking about Ol' Potis, right?"

SAM: Yeah, Potis.

MARISHA: Did you know him?

MATT: "I seen him around, but they killed him. He's being fed to the pigs outside the butchery. (giggles)"

TALIESIN: Did he seem sound of mind before he went or no?

MATT: "Sound mind as someone can be if they went and killed their whole family."

TALIESIN: That's a fair point.

MARISHA: Do you know where he worked? What he did for a living?

MATT: "No, I didn't give a shit!"

LAURA: Wait, his body's still there?

SAM: At the butchery? Where the rotten meat was?

MATT: "I don't know, maybe."

MARISHA: If the pigs haven't eaten it, we can go check it out.

SAM: If the pigs are eating it, and the meat is getting rotten, that's why. Maybe it's a corrupt body or something.

MATT: "Come to think of it, I think Ol' Potis lived up there in the north center."

LAURA: That's where we were.

MARISHA: We were there.

SAM: We were there already.

LAURA: We should go check the well there.

SAM: All right, we're going to just zip around up there.

MATT: "So what's your name, eh?"

SAM and LAURA: (sounds of uncertainty)

(laughter)

LAURA: She already has--

SAM: I'm with her.

LAURA: That's right.

MATT: "Ah. So what's your name?"

SAM: Oh god.

LAURA: No, I'm not going to tell you that, okay bye.

(laughter)

MATT: You guys may go to the tavern. Where are you going?

TALIESIN: Well, I got a crazy idea.

LAURA: I think we should go find the body.

TALIESIN: I think, well we can--

SAM: Is your crazy idea to go to the northern center of the town?

(laughter)

Because if it's not, it's a crazy idea.

TALIESIN: That's half my crazy idea. I think we should--

LIAM: We head south.

TALIESIN: We should-- this whole conversation's going south. If we go do a quick bit of investigation, come back, take a long nap, and go to the northern square of town at night. Late at night.

MARISHA: Sweet, yeah, and then listen for howls.

SAM: We can't do that with Beau. Beau has an appointment tonight.

LAURA: Well, maybe her training will only be a little bit of time.

MARISHA: I'll meet up with you guys afterwards.

SAM: Well, you want to do it alone anyway, right?

TRAVIS: Yeah, she'll be fine. We'll be fine.

MARISHA: If you guys camp out at Ol' Potus' house, Portus'?

LAURA: Potus.

MARISHA: Potus. If you camp out at his house, just, I mean, you know it'll be empty.

TALIESIN: We'll find that well. Maybe find the body.

LAURA: We should take a long rest.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: (stammering) He was, he was executed... ...somewhere around there, right?

SAM: We don't know where he was executed, but his body--

LAURA: Somebody already told us where he was executed!

SAM: He lived up there.

LAURA: Caleb, you remember everything. Where was the execution?

LIAM: No, I don't, but Caleb does. However, was the party told where he was executed?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: In the northern center.

SAM: He lived up there.

MATT: No, he lived up there. As far as you know, he was executed somewhere in the vicinity of the Scowl Square.

LIAM: Yeah, as far as we know.

TALIESIN: How long would it take to get to the well and just check out that neighborhood and come back here?

MATT: Probably 30 minutes? 30 minute walk at most.

TALIESIN: Let's examine the well and the territories, so to speak. Let's get a good idea of what this place looks like during daylight, and then get a good nap, and come back at night.

TRAVIS: Which group leaves first?

LAURA: I'll go first.

MATT: Who's doing what?

LAURA: We're all going there together, but we're leaving at separate times so it don't look like we're together.

MATT: You're going to the well only right?

LAURA: Yes, around there.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Left side of the table, right side of the table.

LAURA: All right, let's go.

MARISHA: Sounds good. We trail apart from each other as we go.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I go full crazy human.

MATT: Okay, show me full crazy human.

LIAM: It's just Marisha in a pose.

TRAVIS: Get in there.

SAM: Uh-huh, uh-huh.

MATT: That's good, all right.

TALIESIN: I was expecting more Tinkerbell.

LAURA: Yeah, that's good, that's good.

SAM: You're so cute.

MATT: Perfect, perfect. Okay, so you guys make your way to that general region. And you guys follow suit behind, roughly half an hour after you said?

LAURA: Like 15 minutes.

MATT: 15 minutes? Okay.

LAURA: We're impatient.

LIAM: I think at this point probably my spell has faded and I've seen people getting by, so I'm just going to go hood up and muddy face for the time being.

MATT: Okay, I will say... Go ahead and make... Just make a straight intelligence check.

LIAM: That's not that great. That's a nine.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Going to be fine.

MATT: And a followup deception check for me, if you don't mind.

SAM: Oh boy, multiple rolls.

LIAM: That's better. That is an 18.

MATT: 18. Okay. All right. As you guys progress northward, you get partway towards this neighborhood, asking around, keeping an eye out for what this north center region may be. You can see there are continuation of the neighborhoods here, buildings that are decently constructed with the materials that are available. You can see a smattering of wood that has either been scavenged from other parts of the wastes from some of the drier graywood trees that you've seen occasionally clustered across these long, ashen fields. You see elements of the purplewood that you saw taken and utilized on most of the exterior wall that surrounds the outside of Asarius. Everything here has this very unique, clustered patchwork feel in its construction. The buildings have roofs, some of them are thatch, some of them are almost like a terracotta, but haphazardly placed. Some of them appear to be just additional boards placed over it, and it has a unique character to it. You get about partway to what you assume to be the center of town based on the conversations you've had before two orcish figures that are brutish and a little intoxicated wandering through the streets begin saddling up towards your group. One of them goes like, "Hey, what's this one here?" You can see these heavy tusks curling up from underneath the lower jaw. They have a dull, dark, green/gray skin tone. One of them, the eyes are very very narrow and sunken back into the skull. The hair itself heavily braided in two strong braids they toss over the front of the shoulders, wearing leather armor, very muscular, especially since you're no longer going in swoll for an illusion. By comparison, you've been around Fjord for a while, the visual perspective of what a full blood orc who lives in a more physically taxing lifestyle, as Xhorhas sometimes requires here in the wastes, Fjord looks tiny. They both walk up to you to talk to you and look over to Fjord, and the second one goes and directs attention towards you. The first one's like, "Hey hey, what's you?"

LIAM: What do you need?

MATT: "You just, uh. I don't know." "You look clean."

LIAM: I look clean?

MATT: "Yeah."

LIAM: You need your vision checked. There's literally mud caked in my hair.

MATT: "Not enough." He pushed you into the ground. Are you going to resist?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: All right, go ahead and make a strength check.

SAM: Bullies at the lunch table.

LIAM: 11.

MATT: Palm, giant orc palm just grabs the front of your chest and shoves you down into a mud puddle. It splashes and cakes the outside of your coat. The other one that's turned to you, Fjord, goes, "Oh well, you're a scrawny little lad aren't you, yeah?"

TRAVIS: Yeah, I was never fed much.

MATT: "Yeah." "It's tough out here, huh?" (chuckles)

TRAVIS: Indeed.

MATT: "Is he your friend?"

TRAVIS: My friend?

MATT: "Yeah."

TRAVIS: No, that's my employee.

MATT: "Your employee?"

TRAVIS: Yeah, what, you never seen a servant before?

MATT: Make a deception check.

TALIESIN: How far behind are we?

TRAVIS: 18.

LAURA: 15 minutes.

MATT: 18. All right. (laughs) He goes, "You have a human servant?"

TRAVIS: As you said, I'm not the most imposing figure. Might as well have this scum do what I need to have done. Wouldn't you agree?

MATT: The other one at this point, while he's pushed you down--

LIAM: He's still holding?

MATT: No, he just pushed you onto your back and you've landed and is stepping forward to loom over you a bit. Beau, are you doing anything?

MARISHA: No, I'm just looking crazy and freaked out and I'm not looking them in the eye. I'm just scowling behind the two of them.

LIAM: I am dragging some iron shavings across myself and drag my hands apart and double in size and stand back up.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Nice.

MATT: As Caleb's form swells in the walkway of the city, you're going to hear a couple of, "Wha? Huh?" A couple of people look over--

LIAM: Do you need me to do anything, sir?

TRAVIS: Well, you done made him do his trick. He gets that when he gets a little agitated.

MATT: The orc that had pushed you takes a step back and his head cocks curiously. Looks over to the other orc and they both look back at Caleb for a second and they both nod. The one that was talking to you goes, "Hey, how much?"

TRAVIS: For him?

MATT: "Yeah."

TRAVIS: How much you got?

MATT: "How much does he go for?"

LIAM: The slender man?

TRAVIS: He's pretty valuable. I don't know, I'd put it around 2,500 gold pieces.

MATT: They both look at each other and just walk off. "Too rich for out taste", and they bound off down the main thoroughfare.

TRAVIS: You change your mind, come back! (whispers) What the fuck?

LIAM: (bad Fjord impression) Eldritch Blast.

TRAVIS: Nope!

LIAM: (shrinking sound)

MARISHA: I look around. How many people watched that? As that was happening? Who's paying attention?

MATT: You see a family of gnolls. A family in the sense that you have one parental figure, uncertain of gender, and three smaller gnolls that are like (snarls). They're these little kids, have you ever seen--

SAM: Pups?

MATT: Well, baby gnolls are not the most attractive looking creatures necessarily. They're very much like a very scared pocket chihuahua. Ren Hoek style like. (snarls) Their eyes bulging.

LAURA: I like it.

MATT: They seem to be intrigued by the mysterious growth and shrink of this humanoid figure. Other individuals go about their day. No others seem-- no issue.

TRAVIS: That was, uh. You all right?

LIAM: I don't know what I'm doing. I think we should leave this town soon.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LIAM: I think I had better change my shape again. I got a little confident.

TRAVIS: Did well though. I mean you could've picked him up and thrown him across the square. It was restraint.

LIAM: I could not have done that, but he thought I could have done that.

TRAVIS: I thought you could've done that.

LIAM: I could've done that.

MARISHA: No one should do that, though, or anything like that. We are being watched here.

TRAVIS: Right, maybe we should--

MARISHA: If they find out that we're from the Empire in any way, shape, or form, we will be fucking executed on sight.

LIAM: Agreed Beauregard, but I need my teeth to be able to enunciate incantations, so I was just improvising.

TRAVIS: No, you did fine. We did fine. Shall we continue moving?

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MATT: You guys eventually find you way to-- the roads here are rough in their construction. They tend to weave, and there isn't a very hardened grid pattern to the construct of Asarius. You get to a point where the roads seems to shift and curve a bit to almost have this, I want to say almost a spiral feel to it where the buildings have a slight curve to it, and at elements you can see a few wells, actually. There are a number of them throughout the city. You come across two of them. The first one catches your eye. In this area, what would you like to do?

LIAM: We've just stumbled upon a well in the general vicinity of where we were looking to go right?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: And no indication.

TRAVIS: Have we seen a lot of wells as we walked to this area? I mean are they commonplace?

MATT: You haven't seen any that are close to the main streets and you mainly stuck to the main streets. You haven't wandered too far into the deeper aspects of the city.

TRAVIS: Is it that easy?

MARISHA: What, the well?

TRAVIS: Yeah. Is that what we're looking for?

LIAM: I don't know, Fjord, maybe could you ask someone if it is in working order and if the water is clean and potable. If it is cursed, they will say so or something.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'll take a gander around. Who might I see in my near vicinity?

MATT: Make a perception check.

MARISHA: While he does that, I want to investigate the well. Look for any markings or signs of...

MATT: Make an investigation check for me.

TRAVIS: 17, plus one, 18.

MATT: 18. Further up the street, amongst these gathered tents, huts, and shacks the individuals in this neighborhood seem to live in, you can see what looks to be a very burly looking bugbear. Heavy muscles, big thick fur that seems to curl at the elbows and the knees. The ears themselves flop out into these tufts. A big thick brow, and is in the process of loading up a cart with heavy, heavy sacks of some material that you cannot quite make out at this time. Hasn't seemed to notice your presence at all. What'd you roll for investigation?

MARISHA: An eight.

MATT: An eight?

MARISHA: It was almost a 17 though. Natural 17.

LIAM: It was a 20 in my mind.

MARISHA: It was almost a 23.

MATT: You go up to this well and look down inside. This one has a slight tapered roof onto it and looks to be a wench with a chain attached to it.

TALIESIN: Classic well.

MATT: Yeah, classic well. It's built into the heavy mud of this area, and looking down you can see, probably from the recent rain and the water level as it stands here, it's probably 10 feet down before it hits water. The water looks a little bit murky, but it is a functional well. It seems to be usable.

MARISHA: Can I crank it up a little bit?

MATT: Yep. (cranking sounds) You pull it up and there is an iron bucket affixed to the bottom of this chain that is now filled with somewhat murky, muddy water.

MARISHA: I fill up my canteen a little bit with the water.

MATT: You got it.

TRAVIS: I make my way over to the bugbear.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Hey.

MATT: "Can I help you?"

TRAVIS: Yeah, this well over here, is it functional drinking water? People use this?

MATT: "Yeah."

TRAVIS: Right. Anything funny about this area? You see anything funny in the past week or so?

MATT: "Not really. Well, I got to go."

TRAVIS: Yeah, you do. What you got there?

MATT: "Making a delivery."

TRAVIS: Making a delivery?

MATT: "Yeah."

TRAVIS: What are you delivering?

MATT: "Why are you asking?"

TRAVIS: I don't know, I'm real curious.

MATT: You see his eyes go a little bit panicked. "I...I don't know who you are." He goes and puts it into the cart.

TRAVIS: Yeah, okay.

MARISHA: I think we should look around. See if there's any other wells.

TALIESIN: We got to be catching up to them soon, right?

MATT: Not yet.

TALIESIN: Okay, I'm into it.

MATT: If you guys want to wait. You can wait for them to catch up to you at this point.

MARISHA: We've got a message for when they get in the area.

SAM: Maybe we should settle up our tab and start going soon.

MATT: Two hours later. We'll say for the sake of brevity, at this point in time you guys, you leave a little early and you catch up to them.

TALIESIN: I'm going to Yelp other wells in the neighborhood, see if any of them have a low rating.

MATT: Welp.

MARISHA: Welp.

MATT: I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

TALIESIN: That was amazing. Don't apologize.

LIAM: That was a player style joke.

MATT: I know. I get them every now and then. You guys catch up to the rest of them, as you're inspecting this region on the outskirts of this spiral. What do you guys do?

MARISHA: I think we should research other wells besides this one.

LAURA: What's wrong with this one?

MARISHA: I just think it's one well sample--

SAM: They didn't say that it was coming from the well, they said that it was around the area of the well.

MARISHA: Yeah, but I think there are other wells. This might not be the only well.

TALIESIN: I'm going to try and cast Light down there, see if I see anything.

MATT: Okay. You go ahead and glance and you cast Light on...?

TALIESIN: The stones beneath the water, see if I can light it up to look inside.

MATT: Best you can tell it is murky water, so you don't get a clear view of where it might bottom out, but it does appear to be a well that continues down. It's got some dirt and sediments that have been somewhat recently raised--

SAM: Fjord, why don't you go down there?

TALIESIN: The water looks healthy?

MATT: Make a nature check.

LIAM: In the middle of the day?

SAM: Sure.

TALIESIN: It's a one.

MATT: Super healthy.

TALIESIN: Cool.

TRAVIS: How wide across is this well? Skinny, or pretty wide?

MATT: This one's pretty skinny. It's about maybe three feet wide. It's not a massive well.

TRAVIS: You know, I can't fit down there, Nott. You. I'm just joking, I wouldn't ask you to do that.

SAM: Caleb can make you smaller.

TRAVIS: Smaller?

SAM: Smaller.

LIAM: I drop my cat in the well.

MATT: (cat meowing, splash) You hear as Frumpkin hits the cold--

LAURA: He's going to be so pissed at you!

MATT: As you look through, Frumpkin is not happy. Frumpkin is down there, just cat paddling through the water, surrounded by dark cold stone in a very very chilly--

LAURA: Lower the bucket!

LIAM: Does it go anywhere?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LIAM: Not good. That's an eight.

MATT: No, it is cold water and Frumpkin is not happy with you.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: While seeing that, I'm going to sit down on the ground and close my eyes and cast Detect Good and Evil.

TALIESIN: Clever, clever.

MARISHA: I lift Frumpkin out of the well with the bucket.

MATT: As the bucket comes up you seem Frumpkin--

MARISHA: It's super cute. It's like a calendar.

MATT: Soaked.

(hisses)

And shakes off.

MATT: It's okay. He's gone.

MATT: Vanishes. You cast Detect Good and Evil. What's the range on that?

LAURA: 30 feet.

MATT: 30 feet. You focus for a moment and concentrate, waiting to find a way to focus on the variations between universal morality and universal evil intent. Moments pass and nothing catches your attention in a 30 foot radius.

LAURA: I'm going to get up and start wandering around the area. Look for little blips.

TALIESIN: Let's head to the other well while we're doing it.

TRAVIS: Is there a butcher shop over here we're supposed to be looking for?

TALIESIN: No, there's another well though.

MATT: The butcher shop was back at the... The Scowl Square. You can make a perception check if you want to look for something like that around.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I will. Why not? A 12.

MATT: 12? Okay. You don't see a butcher shop in the vicinity. You do notice that bugbear you were talking to earlier has moved the cart one block over and is now peeking around the corner and watching you all at the well.

LAURA: I'm going to wander over towards him.

MATT: You wander over towards him?

LAURA: Yeah, just like (distracted mumbling),

(radar sounds).

This last for 10 minutes as I wander around.

MATT: Okay. Nothing seems to catch your attention in this vicinity.

TALIESIN: I say we try the other well.

SAM: What other well? What other well? Have we seen other wells?

LIAM: We heard that there was another well in the area.

SAM: All right, well, let's go find one.

MARISHA: Also, Nott, I collected a little bit of water from this well, do you have some empty vials?

SAM: I have two empty vials.

MARISHA: I don't know, you just might want to test the water between each well. Maybe it's different.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Erin Brockovich shit.

SAM: Sure, yeah, I'm a chemist, sure. Fill me up.

TRAVIS: I walk over towards the bugbear again. Direct line, straight for him.

MATT: Okay, as soon as you start walking towards him he ducks behind the alley.

TRAVIS: I run after him.

MATT: Okay, you run and turn the corner and he's just pushing the cart away.

TRAVIS: Hey!

LIAM: Where are you?

MATT: "Hello?"

TRAVIS: Why so jumpy? I saw you looking at me. Why? What are you hiding?

MATT: "I don't know what you're--"

TRAVIS: I'm not going to ask you a second time. You don't want to know who I work for. Tell me what you're carrying and what you're up to.

MATT: Make an intimidation check.

LIAM: Come on!

TRAVIS: 20.

MATT: 20! He goes, "I'm very sorry, I've just been having these dreams. You seem to be asking questions."

TRAVIS: You keep talking, I'll keep asking. You don't want the other thing. Tell me about your dreams.

MATT: "I don't even, I just--"

TRAVIS: Calm down, calm down.

MATT: "I live alone and it's so very lonely. I've been having these dreams where these two beautiful bugbears come to me in the dreams. One is a very voluptuous bugbear. The other is very strong. They come and they take care of me."

TRAVIS: Wow, that sounds fascinating.

MATT: "But they tell me to do bad things, and I've done a bad thing."

TRAVIS: You did a bad thing?

MATT: "Yes, my neighbors had some wolves and they told me to kill them."

TRAVIS: Some wolves?

MATT: "I'm sorry."

MARISHA: You killed the--

TRAVIS: You killed your neighbor's-- listen, listen.

MATT: (tearfully) "I didn't mean to kill the wolves. They told me to do it."

TRAVIS: You're doing the right thing by telling me. I am somebody that can make this go away, but I need more details. You can walk away from here scot-free without another worry. Where were your neighbors? Where do you live?

MATT: "I live a little further in the spiral."

TRAVIS: How long ago were these dreams? When did you kill their wolves?

MATT: "It started happening about two weeks ago. I killed the wolves two days ago. They don't know it was me. Please don't tell them."

TRAVIS: They don't have to know. Now have you had any more of these dreams or just the one time?

MATT: "No, they've come by a few times."

TRAVIS: Okay. All right.

MATT: "They're very nice dreams."

TRAVIS: Sometimes.

MATT: "They're always very nice dreams."

TRAVIS: Okay, fair enough. You ain't drinking from this well, is you?

MATT: "No, no, I live by one."

TRAVIS: Oh. That's not as important to me. Tell you what, we will wrap this up if you will just take me where you live and I'll make sure that your neighbors know that someone else killed their wolves and you can go about your business, you understand?

MATT: "Who are you?"

TRAVIS: You don't want to know that.

MATT: "Okay."

TRAVIS: All right.

MATT: "I live this way." Then grabs the two sides of the cart and pushes it forward and through the mud. Are you going along with him?

TRAVIS: I'll turn around, look over. Is anybody looking at me?

MATT: You guys-- you jumped in the alley. You guys just watched Fjord sprint and vanish behind the corner.

TALIESIN: I'm going to slowly make my way there.

MATT: You guys make your way to follow and you see Fjord, now glancing over his shoulder, as this big burly looking bugbear is wheeling a cart out of the alley on the opposite end and further in towards this slow, chaotic spiral.

TRAVIS: I'll very slyly put my hand down to my side and motion like stay back, stay back.

LAURA: I'm following, though, because I want to sense good and evil.

MATT: (laughs) How long does it last?

LAURA: 10 minutes.

MATT: You got it. All right.

MARISHA: I'll stealth follow.

MATT: Okay, make a stealth check.

SAM: We're all following, through, right?

LAURA: Yeah, we're definitely following.

SAM: We'll all stealth follow.

TALIESIN: We will? Okay.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: Well, I rolled a four.

TALIESIN: Ten.

LAURA: 11.

TRAVIS: Did you make yourself both look different?

MARISHA: 22.

SAM: 26.

MATT: All right. All right. Continuing the forward, you're led through a series of other roughshod roadways and walkways between these shacks and huts and hovels. Eventually about three streets up, about eight to ten minutes later, the spell fades unfortunately, but he leads you to one of these haphazard neighborhoods. Pushes the cart up to the side and leaves it there. Turns back to you and goes, "This is where I live."

TRAVIS: Are those your neighbors?

MATT: "They're all this vicinity, yes. "They mostly leave me alone."

TRAVIS: You killed all of their wolves, or just one of them?

MATT: "Oh no, they're the ones who had," and he points over and you can see there's a house that has a small tent out front, and it's a simple, maybe 80-foot wide cluster of driftwood and other elements of scavenged wood that has pushed up into the semblance of a home. Then twine and rope has been used to wrap around it. Imagine a series of rafts that have been pressed together to form a house. That's where it was. You can see a large post out front where chains were once affixed, but now they're empty collars lying on the mud.

TRAVIS: I see. And the--

MATT: "I didn't mind the wolves, they just told me to kill--"

TRAVIS: Keep your voice down.

MATT: "They told me to kill them."

TRAVIS: All right, now where is this fountain?

MATT: "Fountain?"

TRAVIS: Yeah, you said you lived by a fountain? I mean a well, sorry.

MATT: "It's right over this way." He points over around the edge and by about three other buildings on a further right hand corner there is a stone well similar to the one you saw before, a little bit wider. Four-foot wide. Same setup with the crank, the chain dangling below.

TRAVIS: Let's take a look. Walk over and look down into the well.

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: A 13.

MATT: 13. You glance in. I mean, daylight here is not prominent as it is sometimes, especially in the Menagerie Coast where you grew up. The near perpetual cloud cover itself is making it difficult to get anything but a soft, diffused daylight. Glancing down, your eyesight, although you do have darkvision, which does help, you catch the surface of the water about 30 feet down. This is a deep well.

TRAVIS: Murky as the other one was?

MATT: You can't make out too much beyond the surface of it at this distance. Just because of the nature of darkvision, you don't see shapes moving in it, you just see the surface of the water movement. You don't know how deep it goes.

TRAVIS: I reach in and I take out a silver, and I just turn it in my hand. I look around, is anybody looking at this bugbear and I conversing by this well?

MATT: Nothing beyond half of your not very stealthy party. (laughs)

MARISHA: Fjord, we're here.

TRAVIS: If you happen to be asked about what you did today, what are you going to say?

MATT: "I'm going to say nothing. I'm very embarrassed that I've been doing things for these very pretty bugbears."

TRAVIS: That's right. And did you speak to anyone today during your deliveries?

MATT: "I spoke to you."

TRAVIS: No, now we got to rehearse this. That is the wrong answer.

MATT: "Oh, I'm sorry."

TRAVIS: I give you this silver, and this never happened, and we never spoke.

MATT: "Okay."

TRAVIS: Take it. Now what's your name?

MATT: He looks down, as I look at my notes. "I am Umadon."

TRAVIS: Umadon. Umadon, you look pretty tired. What happened when you were out delivering today?

MATT: "I was just doing my usual errands. Getting my supplies and my food." Then he points towards the cart.

TRAVIS: Your food?

MATT: "Yes."

TRAVIS: If you don't mind my asking before you go, what do you eat?

MATT: "Why are you so nosy?"

TRAVIS: Because it's my job.

MATT: "Okay." He leads you back over towards the house where the cart is, and he opens up part of it and you can see inside there is dried meats. Mostly potatoes and some of the hearty foods that are generally farmed here. You remember recalling that most of the commerce here, some of it is coin, some of it is barter and trade. Some of it is just trade for work and hired elements, so all this cart appears to be just things to sustain himself.

TRAVIS: Groceries. Where do you do most of your shopping? Last question.

MATT: "The Scowl Square."

TRAVIS: Yeah, we were just from there.

MATT: "This is where they come at night when I'm having my dreams." He points through this small oval-shaped window in this stone structure. His place where he lives is nicer than some of the surrounding buildings. It's probably been here for a while. It's small, it's like an L-shaped structure. Maybe two rooms tops.

TRAVIS: Umadon, I'm going to make sure-- you know what? I'm going to make sure you don't say nothing. I'm going to come back this evening and visit you and we're going to make sure that you haven't said anything to anybody, you understand?

MATT: "No, but okay."

TRAVIS: You take your stuff and you take it inside now, you hear?

MATT: "Okay."

TRAVIS: All right.

MATT: "You're not going to tell anyone about the dreams, are you?"

TRAVIS: What dreams, Umadon?

MATT: "The ones I told you."

TRAVIS: No.

TALIESIN: I was waiting for it.

MATT: "You asked me about them a couple times."

TRAVIS: We never spoke. Never happened. Okay? Never happened.

MATT: You're blowing his mind right now. "But we, I, we were--"

TRAVIS: Uh-uh-uh-uh! Inside.

MATT: "Okay."

TRAVIS: Talk to no one.

MATT: "Okay."

TRAVIS: Go, okay.

MATT: Turns around and walks, which just giving perspective here, this is probably a good seven inches of pure muscle and fur over Fjord this entire conversation, but this demure demeanor of this bugbear in the face of this surprisingly intimidating half-orc. Turns around and grabs the sacks and looks over the shoulder once more and then heads back into the front door on the other side of the structure.

TRAVIS: It's the stubby tusks. Okay.

TALIESIN: We're all looking at the well at this point right?

LAURA: I'm staring at Fjord and the bugbear.

SAM: What's going on? What is it?

TRAVIS: You guys really suck at following a decent distance behind. I understand what your Expositor was talking about.

MARISHA: I actually feel like I did pretty good.

TRAVIS: So Umadon here apparently has been having some dreams and killed some of his neighbor's wolves because of them a couple weeks back.

LAURA: What kind of dreams?

TALIESIN: What kind of wolves?

LAURA: Like the dreams that you have? Wet dreams?

SAM: Probably the kind of dreams that everyone in the area has been having.

TRAVIS: Yeah. More the homicidal variety.

LAURA: Did he say anything about them?

TRAVIS: Well, he said that this here well might be something, and I noticed he had groceries from the Scowling Market Square or whatever.

MARISHA: I'm going to do some type of investigation on the well, on the well's water.

TALIESIN: Is there a bucket?

MATT: Roll an investigation check. There is, similar setup to the one previously, it's just a wider well.

TALIESIN: I'm going to cast Light on the bucket and drop it down in there to get a good look.

MATT: Okay. Make a perception check for me.

SAM: Come on, perceive high.

MARISHA: 20.

TALIESIN: Yeah! That's a 27.

MATT: 27, nice. As you pull the bucket up and check the water, it's a similar level of murkiness, but the water level's much lower. The water is 30 feet or so down the depths of this well. As you begin to return it, Caduceus you cast Light on it and the bucket becomes a light and you just lower it down below and it slowly recedes in lighting up the rough earth and carved in stone--

MARISHA: Give me little flask, a little vial.

SAM: Oh, yes.

MARISHA: I get a little water from this vial. Make a little notch, two. This is number two. I rolled a 20 on my investigation check.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Looking for markings.

MATT: You look through it, no markings. You and Caduceus both make the same observation as you're lowering the light and the chain. You notice that at roughly 20-foot to 25-foot distance down below, before it meets the water level, there is a section where the haphazard stone and masonry that's been placed to contain the interior of this groundwater well seems to have crumbled and fallen, and there is about a three foot gap where the stone has crumbled and looks to be some sort of interior cavern or dark-shaded... Tunnel beyond.

LAURA: Can I look around and see if anybody is watching us right now?

MATT: Make a perception check.

SAM: I'm going to investigate these two vials of water to see if I can discern any difference.

MATT: Sure.

LAURA: A 22.

MATT: 22. I mean, you are a bunch of people standing around a well and doing a bunch of experimental magic casting and checking water levels and looking deep inside. Some of the folks around you are staring and curious as to what the fuck you're doing in the middle of broad daylight here.

TRAVIS: Putting fluoride in the water folks, nothing to see.

MARISHA: Just a little public works.

MATT: They look to be denizens of the region. Nothing that tips you off to think that they're concerned. They're just confused and at least are aware of your presence and find it weird.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: You found something? What is it?

MATT: What'd you roll for it?

SAM: What kind of check is this?

MATT: It's investigation.

SAM: Oh investigation, that's better.

MATT: I'll say because you're an alchemist, 'll let you add your proficiency modifier.

SAM: Yeah, that's 15.

LAURA: Plus your proficiency?

SAM: That's including.

MATT: They are slightly different, but you assess it's because the ground water that you're pulling from here is actually deeper than the previous well. The water still seems as pure as groundwater pulled from a well can be. Because it's deeper and seems to be probably closer to the sediment and the base--

SAM: The aquifer?

MATT: The aquifer, if you will. Is a little murkier, but it mostly seems to be natural.

LAURA: I take out a-- what is the smallest amount of money, copper?

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: I take out a copper and I go: Oh, I wish I could detect good and evil, and then I get down the well and I cast Good and Evil.

MATT: Okay. You cast it. Close your eyes and focus. Nothing catches your attention.

TALIESIN: Maybe walk in that direction for a little bit and see if you feel anything. I'm sending her in the direction of the opening that I saw in the wall.

MATT: Following that path, and you focus, you travel around in a few loops, a few figure eights. Basically the vicinity as Caduceus is guiding you in that direction.

LAURA: I get down and crawl a little bit. To get my face as close to the ground as possible.

MATT: It's muddy. You get down low and foxhole your way across the ground. The individuals who have been paying attention to you oddly are now very curious as to this display, and you can look over and see one of them begins to walk towards an armored Kryn soldier that is in the process of walking from the north to southern side of the main street closest to where you are.

LIAM: Is that obvious to all of us?

MARISHA: Can I intercept?

MATT: Caduceus, you notice this and Beau, you notice this.

MARISHA: Am I able to intercept before she meets the soldier?

MATT: You can certainly try.

MARISHA: I'm going to try. I'll power walk casually.

MATT: You're quick, you're fast, I will make a--

MARISHA: I don't want to be alarming though. Lifeguard rules, don't freak people out.

MATT: Make a persuasion check. This is an attempt to change your body language to not seem aggressive and inviting.

MARISHA: Persuasion?

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: Eight.

MATT: Eight. All right, so you see...

SAM: (labored breathing)

TRAVIS: We're going to work.

MATT: You see a bugbear woman, the hair going from a deep brown to a sun-bleached blonde towards the tips, maybe it's because of age or they're from another region, you don't know. She's been watching this for a while, and as soon as this starts happening looks over and sees the Kryn soldier and just walks in that direction. You start, well from your perspective, very quietly and very openly walk in that direction. She turns backs and looks and sees this crazed human stepping over towards her and starts picking up the pace. The soldier glances over and sees her and sees you and gives a curious look, specifically to you. You can see this is a female dark elf soldier. Not wearing full Kryn armor, that's what you battled before, but elements of it. No helmet, but the somewhat chitinous, dark metallic armor and mantle across the shoulders similar to the mage that you had fought previously, but are wearing plain dark leather armor beneath. Begins to watch and then meets up with the bugbear woman who immediately goes like. "There's a woman," and turns and sees you approaching. You're already right there.

TALIESIN: I'm going to slowly jaunt my way over as well.

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: Okay. The soldier looks and says, "What appears to be the problem?" The bugbear goes, "I don't know." She's looking at you deer in headlights. Trying to respond, but didn't expect you to arrive quite so quickly because your Monk speed is pretty fast. She goes, "Uh, hello."

MARISHA: Hi. Can I help you?

MATT: "There." Points over at Jester on the ground crawling in the mud and everyone's gathered around.

LAURA: I take my earring and I hold it up and go: I found it!

SAM: Your contact?

LAURA: No, my earring I had dropped. It was in the mud over here.

MATT: Make a deception check.

LAURA: 14?

MATT: The Kryn warrior glances over towards you, glances back at the bugbear, glances back towards you and goes, "So where in Xhorhas are you from?"

MARISHA: Mystery solved, she found her earring. We were drunk last night and she made a wish in the wishing well and we thought maybe she threw it down there, but it looks like it just fell off, so thank you for your service. And I walk away.

MATT: As you walk away, a hand goes on your shoulder. "You did not answer my question. Please tell me where are you from in Xhorhas, human?"

MARISHA: I'm from a little bit south of here. Where that woman is from. And I point to Yasha.

MATT: Okay, make a deception check.

SAM: Oh boy. So many checks, so many fails.

MARISHA: Fuck.

LIAM: Super cocked.

MARISHA: That's a better roll. What was it, deception?

MATT: Deception, yes.

MARISHA: 22.

MATT: Okay. The soldier gingerly removes her hand and goes-- looks to the bugbear expectantly like, "What, were you going to approach, the bugbear goes, "It looks like she found her earring," and moseys off, looking at you intensely and keeps a wide berth around you and the rest of the group and heads off into whatever business she was handling. The Kryn soldier goes, "Maybe it is not so safe to be this close to the conflict looking as you do. You should perhaps go south for a while."

MARISHA: Thanks for the advice. And I walk away.

MATT: "Light be with you."

MARISHA: And also with you?

MATT: Tense moment averted with a very good deception roll. You come back to where you are, there in this small section between homes and foot pathways.

LAURA: I did not detect any evil.

SAM: Yeah, but it's far down. Your detection is only--

LAURA: 30 feet.

MATT: No good on that unfortunately.

LAURA: Yeah, no, that's fine.

SAM: We got to go down there. Fjord, jump down the well.

LAURA: I thought maybe it was 15 feet down, it would've been a thing.

TRAVIS: Yeah, no problem, I just hope over the edge--

LAURA: No, no, no, don't do that!

SAM: Go down, yes.

LAURA: No, don't!

LIAM: Jester and Beauregard are wiped out from--

LAURA: We're going to fucking rest, that's what we said we were going to do.

SAM: No, we're not going to rest, we have to go down there! My husband is dying because of you!

LAURA: Because of me?

SAM: Well, because you're scared, because you're scared.

LAURA: I'm scared that if you fall down, I won't be able to heal you because I don't have any fucking spells left.

SAM: We got Mr. Clay for that.

TALIESIN: I'm not going down there.

SAM: Well, neither am I. Fjord is.

TRAVIS: I'm going down into the well.

LIAM: It is not the time to do it.

MATT: Okay, make an athletics check for me.

LAURA: What the fuck? We said we were coming back at night.

SAM: We always say that!

MARISHA: What time is it?

TRAVIS: 22.

LIAM: Broad daylight.

MATT: 22, all right, decent. The well itself is about four, four and a half feet wide. You place both of your arms at full length each side, you have just enough to move through and grab onto elements and use your feet. It takes you a while to get down there carefully without plummeting. You do so deftly, actually. About ten minutes of slow climbing, you reach the point where that break is. The bucket dangles from the over bar. The smell of wet iron hits you as you begin to approach it as well as the still water that seems to be sitting there at the base of the well. There's about a two, three foot gap that you see here where the stone has fallen either inward or outward and it's not terribly big. It's maybe three feet across, about that wide. At times it splinters out and then closes in. Make an investigation check for me.

TRAVIS: 23.

MATT: It does appear to have been pushed towards the well.

TRAVIS: What does?

MATT: Where the stone seems to have crumbled, it seems to have been pushed from the opposite side. It's probably, whatever stones were there are probably sitting at the bottom of this well water. The other thing you notice is the smell here. It is stale with dust and earth and rain, and a hint of a pungent, sulfurous smell.

TRAVIS: Does it smell similar to the smell we experienced down under the moorbounders?

MATT: Comparably? Pretty close.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that's about all I need. I'll use the feature of the falchion to Misty Step back up just underneath the ridge of the well, my fingers on the side. MATT: Okay. There's a sudden (tsssh) of wind and you watch as Fjord's fingers appear and grasp onto the edge of the well. Pulls himself back up out of it.

TRAVIS: I climb up. That's what we want. It had the same smell as down beneath the moorbounders.

LIAM: Okay, maybe not so much crawling around the well or circus tricks. Jester and Beauregard are barely on their feet, let's get out of here, have something to eat, rest, and come back in the night.

LAURA: Going to sleep for eight hours.

LIAM: Nott the Brave, it was your idea to try to curry favor here in town. We are not going to run off; this was your idea.

SAM: I'm totally fine with that, let's go rest now that we know what we're doing.

LAURA: We're going to go rent a room at the Four Corners.

LIAM: The Four Seasons.

MATT: You head to the Four Corners' pens.

SAM: Is it like one of those Japanese, you know those little capsule hotels?

LAURA: Nap hotels.

MATT: It looks like a stable for people. It's an open space, like imagine a series of cubbies.

TALIESIN: It's a hostel.

MATT: It's a hostel, if you will. The floor is stone, pebbles, molded hay, and whatever bits of bedding and leather could be thrown over it to try and give a semblance of a softer floor. The good news: it's cheap. There's only two of these sections that are available and they cost you an ask of five copper a night.

LIAM: There's no tables or chairs or beds or anything. It's just cow pens for humanoids.

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: Excellent.

TRAVIS: Great.

TALIESIN: I'm into it.

MARISHA: Sure, we'll take them both.

MATT: The two that are available, at least. You can't look in the others; they're closed off.

LAURA: Are they next to each other or are they in separate areas?

MATT: They're separate.

LAURA: Damn it. Okay.

MATT: There's one that's to the far back corner and the other one appears to be maybe four of those separate sections down and to the right.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Taking both, yeah?

MATT: You can take both if you want. Who's staying in which one?

LIAM: Well, we don't have three rooms which we normally have, so I feel like the ladies and the gentlemen should split up.

SAM: Girls and boys.

TRAVIS: I mean, are y'all going to be all right by yourselves? Jester, are you going to be safe?

LIAM: She could punch you through a wall. Do you have a third room here?

SAM: We might need a man to take care of us, Fjord.

MATT: The bugbear that runs the Four Corners, if you go and ask him, he's like no, "We're full, sorry."

LIAM: Fair play, fair play.

MARISHA: Unless-- do you want to room with the ladies for any other particular reason?

SAM: Did you want to room with Jester for any particular reason?

MARISHA: Yeah, I'll room with Caleb and Cad.

TALIESIN: I mean, if you think about it, normally Yasha's the biggest one of us. You've got the two of us here.

TRAVIS: I just head into one of the rooms.

MATT: Who joins Fjord?

LAURA: No, I go to the other one.

SAM: Don't you think he was subtlety--

LAURA: That isn't what he was doing, Nott!

MARISHA and SAM: I go in with Jester.

MATT: Okay, so ladies one. Yasha comes and joins you.

LIAM: I stand super indecisively for about eight minutes.

MATT: All right. Who's taking a full rest on this, I guess?

MARISHA: How long will a full rest put me? Am I meeting Dairon at sunset, or she said after dark.

MATT: She said after dark. You don't have a specific time. By the time you guys have this space, you've returned and you begin this rest, it's closer to 4:00, 5:00 in the afternoon. A full rest will put you conscious at about 3:00, 4:00 in the morning.

MARISHA: I'm going to do a power nap and blow some hit dice.

MATT: Okay, so you're going to go with a short rest.

MARISHA: I will head out early.

SAM: You're going to leave everybody behind?

LIAM: Yeah, she's got a one on one.

SAM: Oh, because you got to go to your meeting.

MARISHA: I've got class, dude.

LIAM: Since it's invisible and I can't see, did anyone go into the cow stall with Fjord yet?

TALIESIN: Yeah, no, I did.

LIAM: You did? I'm going to join them.

MATT: Okay. You guys join each other. Take your preparations for an early short rest. As you spend your hit dice.

LIAM: Is the rest of the party doing long rest until the middle of the night?

MATT: Everyone else is taking a long rest, apparently. You'll be coming out at about 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. So pushing dawn depending on when you arrive at your destination.

LAURA: It would take two hours? What, dawn is usually around 5:00 or 6:00 in the morning.

MATT: You haven't been in Xhorhas. You wake up between 3:00 and 4:00, and you gather yourselves and walk over to that part of town, it's going to be 3:30, 4:30 in the morning. The sun's not going to hit, but you'll begin to see a change of light.

TALIESIN: I'm keeping that. That's nuts.

SAM: I've prepared my spells for the next day. They're always the same spells.

MATT: Yeah, so good on you.

SAM: I'm ready.

MATT: You are prepared!

SAM: I am ready.

MATT: Well done, sir! Everybody else good?

TALIESIN: I'm just picking spells. We can start without that.

SAM: If I have any extra time, Matt, I'm going to attempt to make a tracer arrow.

MATT: Unfortunately, you don't really have a good space to do that here.

SAM: Great.

MATT: You're in a person stable.

SAM: I can't do explosive chemistry in a stall with three other people right around me?

MATT: Unfortunately, I'm going to say no to that one.

SAM: Cool cool cool.

MATT: But keep an eye out.

TRAVIS: With a fair amount of nature manure around as well?

MATT: Yeah, it sounds like a great combination. SAM: And dry hay.

MATT: Yeah. "What'd you roll?" "One." Well, that's the fastest TPK we've ever had. An unceremonious end to The Mighty Nein story. Detonated by ignited feces.

MARISHA: Okay, I'm at full hit points.

MATT: Okay, Beau.

MARISHA: I'll take a little power nap. A couple hours. I'll head out like 45 minutes after sunset I guess, once it's been dark for a little bit.

MATT: I'll say because everyone else is also taking a long rest, your power nap sends you to a point of consciousness where you wake and it's dark and you're not sure what time it is. There's a brief bit of.

MARISHA: Fuck, fuck, fuck! Caleb, what time is it?

LIAM: I'm in the other stall.

MARISHA: Shit!

MATT: The other ladies are deep in their rests. Light snoring.

SAM: (loud snoring)

TRAVIS: Light snoring.

MATT: "Light snoring"

MARISHA: Question.

MATT: Yes?

MARISHA: Where's Nott's glamor armor? Where's your glamor armor?

MATT: On Nott, I think?

SAM: I don't know, do I sleep in armor?

MATT: Do you sleep in your armor?

SAM: Probably not.

MARISHA: Are you wearing that?

SAM: What's it made out of, leather?

MATT: It's made of leather, yeah.

SAM: Oh, then I'll sleep in it, yeah.

MATT: Nott's currently--

SAM: You can wake me up.

MARISHA: Do we have a hat? Do we have a disguise hat? We don't have that? Was that old campaign?

TALIESIN: That was old campaign.

LIAM: New campaign, who dis?

MARISHA: Yeah, I wake up Nott.

SAM: Ahh!

MARISHA: (shushing) I'm sorry. Can I borrow your glamor armor?

SAM: You want to wear my clothes?

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: What will I wear? It's fine, yes, of course you can.

MARISHA: Really?

SAM: You're one of my closest allies and friends.

MARISHA: That is deeply kind of you.

SAM: Don't look at me while I change.

MARISHA: I want to try and blend in a little bit.

TRAVIS: Get the fuck out of here!

(laughter)

MATT: You do not need to attune to this. You don't have to take an hour to attune which is nice.

MARISHA: Fuck yes.

LIAM: Although she does hand you armor the size of Teddy Ruxpin.

MATT: Yeah. You take it and wonder what's going to happen as you take a moment to try and squeeze into one shoulder. You're like: This is not going to work. You feel it expand a bit and loosen itself and the plates shift to meet your frame.

MARISHA: How's it look?

SAM: I mean, it just looks the same. You have to think what you want it to look like.

MARISHA: I copy that armor that, the Kryn armor. The guard that I was just talking to. It was a bugbear guard?

TRAVIS: No, it was a Kryn guard.

LIAM: That was Kryn with half armor.

MARISHA: It's got a hood and shit, right?

MATT: The leather armor does not have a hood. So you're still visually...

MARISHA: I'll put my cloak hood up.

MATT: Okay, but you give yourself the visual perspective of the chitinous armor of the Kryn soldiers. All right.

MARISHA: You're the best.

SAM: I know. Good luck out there. Having fun training.

MARISHA: I'll meet you guys at the well.

SAM: Cool.

MATT: You step out and you get a few feet from the back entrance to the pens here outside of the Four Corners. Before a voice goes, "Psst." You glance over and you can see Dairon in her drow visage. Arms crossed. "That took you some time, didn't it?"

MARISHA: I wanted to make sure it was super dark.

MATT: "Follow me."

MARISHA: All right. And I trail behind her a little bit.

MATT: One by one, she leads you for about 15 minutes away from where you guys were sleeping. Until eventually you come to some large storage bin of some kind, or a storage facility. It has one sliding door that is partially ajar. As soon as you approach the slight crack, you can already smell this heavy heavy scent of tobacco. As you come and enter, you can see a lot of thick, tar-like tobacco plants that are currently being stored here, and this black tar material that seems to have been long dried against a lot of the wood of the inside of this facility. It's maybe 20 foot by 30 feet, this space here, and half of it is filled with crates and other things seem to contain this. As you enter and look around you hear, (sliding) as it closes behind you. It is dark inside there. No light.

MARISHA: Goggles.

MATT: You put the goggles on. As soon as you put the googles on, in the darkness you can see Dairon's form behind you as you turn around to look and she goes, "That is good. That helps take care of one weakness."

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Good comeback, good.

MATT: She approaches and says, "So I have taught you some techniques, and I see there is still some teaching to be done. You have jumped ahead in some ways when you were not ready, and there are some things you skipped along the process. For one, show me what you can learn from me.

MARISHA: Flurry of Blows.

MATT: Go for it. Attack rolls.

TRAVIS: Come on, girl.

MARISHA: First one, then second one. First one's a four, second one's a natural 19.

MATT: First one she slaps away, the second attack catches her in the chin. Those are your two attacks, and then you have your two bonus action attacks.

MARISHA: Oh, I thought I was starting with Flurry of Blows.

MATT: Well, you have to do attack action, then Flurry of bBows is how it works.

MARISHA: Then Flurry of Blows, okay.

MATT: You open up with two strikes, and then go into the Flurry of Blows as the bonus action.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: You can roll damage for that first one.

MARISHA: Shit, shit, shit.

TRAVIS: You're good.

MARISHA: Why, why? Six damage. Pulling my punches.

MATT: Go for it, then follow up with your bonus action. Do your two more unarmed strikes. Go for it.

MARISHA: Damn it, Gil. 18. For the first one, and 17 for the other one.

MATT: 17 misses, 18 does hit.

MARISHA: Ooh. And I Extract Aspects.

MATT: What are you choosing to learn?

MARISHA: Her constitution.

MATT: Okay. With that, you learn... Dairon has a constitution modifier plus two.

MARISHA: Stunning strike. That last one.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Crack crack, roundhouse to the face.

MATT: (groan) She just stands there, unable to move in the moment.

TRAVIS: Yeah, good pop!

MARISHA: I tell her: Looks like the diet out here has been messing with your system a little bit. Not feeling as hearty as you normally do back in the Empire?

MATT: She shrugs off the stun after a moment, looks back and goes, "Your attacks are still unfocused. "You try and reach too broadly. Instead, try and learn the important things all at once. Like this." She goes in for a series of strikes against you. That is 24 to hit?

MARISHA: Hits.

MATT: That is 11 to hit.

MARISHA: Hits.

MATT: 11 hits?

MARISHA: No sorry, misses. Sorry! (stammering) I'm just scared!

TRAVIS: It all hits!

LAURA: I'm terrified! Everything hits!

LIAM: It hurts to feel so good!

MATT: First strike, that's going to be 12 points of bludgeoning damage. As you take one hit to the sternum, and you hear the bones crack inward from the impact, the wind temporarily knocked out of you. You're blown back, and her next swing with her other fist goes towards your face and the momentum that forced you backwards, you lean into it, and like a reed in the wind, you bend out of the way and the fist just archs past the front of your face, just guiding past the front of your nose. Goes into her Flurry of Blows as well. That's going to be a 23 to hit.

MARISHA: Hits.

MATT: And a 25 to hit.

MARISHA: Hits.

TRAVIS: Fuck.

MATT: You take five points of bludgeoning damage. And ten points of bludgeoning damage. With these strikes, one goes and strikes not the sternum, but just below it where the ribcage ends and seems to hook underneath where the bone is, so it's actually grabbing you up in the ribcage and pulls you forward. The pain is sharp and immense, as you come forward the other fingers hit you up underneath the chin and grasp inward as a hook as well. A moment after that you can feel your heartbeat. (heart beating) The blood from your jugular hitting her fingers. You watch as she focuses. There's an interesting expression: as opposed to visualizing the anatomy, her eyes are somewhat half-closed and unfocused. You know when you use ki, when you focus on your spiritual energy to harness your combat prowess, there is a communion between your ki and hers. It's an invasive, and you feel this force come into you from the impact at the chin and then extrude back into her fingers and she pulls away.

MARISHA: That's my personal space, personal space!

MATT: "So that is one thing I would like to show you to do."

MARISHA: What did you do?

MATT: "I learned the bulk of the important things." Over the next few minutes she begins to show you the proper points to apply this pressure.

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

MATT: This alters your Extracting Aspects a bit. This goes into a series of sparring matches as well where she shows you that being reactive is important, but perhaps not as important in your current training. As far as being prepared for immediately dealing with a scenario, and for your current purpose of your mission, is instead to find that moment of weakness in an opponent and retaliate as quickly as possible. As part of this training, we have new updates to the Way of the Cobalt Soul for you.

MARISHA and SAM: Class updates!

MATT: It is a homebrew of mine that I've been toying with in the game here, getting community feedback for a while. Now we have an opportunity for you to adjust a few things. As part of this, your Extract Aspects, as opposed to choosing, whenever you hit a creature with one of your Flurry of Blows, you learn what conditions they're immune to, what damages they're immune to, what damages they're resistant to, and what damages they're vulnerable to.

MARISHA: So I don't pick, just all at once.

MATT: You learn those. You lose some of the broader choices, but those you just learn automatically as they are generally important as opposed to having to pick and choose. Either you learn immediately that none of these are important, or at least you learn some information that might help you tactically in the battlefield. You still have to convey that to your party once learned, but that can be useful at times. Testing out this variation--

TRAVIS: Their immune to this and they're weak against this.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: Also swapping the arrival of two of the abilities. The Preternatural Counter and the Might of Mercury are swapped. You currently do not have the ability to gain additional reactions by spending ki points. That's changed a bit now, you can't spend multiple on a turn, once per turn and eventually when you get this ability, once per turn you can spend a ki point to get an additional reaction.

MARISHA: This allows me--

MATT: What you have now is Preternatural Counter. Which is whenever an enemy misses you with an attack in melee, you can use your reaction to make an unarmed strike back at them.

SAM: Every time?

MATT: One reaction per turn.

SAM: One reaction, got it.

MATT: As part of this training, you do suffer an additional 12 points of bludgeoning damage. When all is said and done. When this training is complete, both you and Dairon are sweating in the dark here in the warehouse. You're exhausted and sore, but also happy to know that you feel a little more confident in your abilities to defend yourself and both learn the important aspects of some of your enemies in the battlefield, as well as utilize their failures to your advantage. Being able to read their movements, and in that instant be able to avoid that burst of conflict, and then reciprocate with your own act of aggression. Dairon looks up to you after a few rounds of this, about a good hour or so of this conflict, and goes, "I am very impressed with how fast you were able to pick this up. I knew that my eye on you is not wasted."

MARISHA: Your what, your aura?

MATT: "My eye on you."

MARISHA: Oh, your eye. Sorry. Sorry, you hit me in the head. My ears were ringing.

MATT: "I told you to listen specifically."

MARISHA: I'm sorry. Christ, I'm a little dazed.

LIAM: I owe you another martial arts lesson.

MARISHA: Okay, well I'm going to take a few minutes and then I'm going to go climb down a well with my friends.

MATT: "What?"

(laughter)

MARISHA: We bought these moorbounders from this armless goblin guy, and there was a rift--

MATT: "Beauregard. Don't die. Listen, be patient. Be careful. If we're lucky, I'll see you on the other side." She walks past, pats you on the shoulder, and then steps out of the way.

MARISHA: How might I find you in Ghor Dranas?

MATT: "You told me your friends can contact me. They already have before. Just keep that friend alive."

MARISHA: I want to give you something. I pull out a written copy--

LAURA: My vagina.

LIAM: Laura Bailey!

SAM: She's a child.

LIAM: Laura Bailey!

TALIESIN: We were all there.

MARISHA: -- of the cipher. I know how to write in this. There's instructions on how to write in it and how to read in it. If there's ever information, we need to communicate under the radar, you can write me with that.

MATT: "Impressive. I will look over this in my travels, I'm certain to have time in the weeks to come. Thank you. Now what did I say?"

MARISHA: Stay alive.

MATT: "And?"

MARISHA: Listen.

MATT: "And?"

MARISHA: Trust no one.

MATT: "Eh..." I gambled on that last one. You've said a lot of things.

MATT: "Be patient."

MARISHA: Oh patient, right, be patient. Be patient, listen, stay alive. Patient, listen, stay alive, got it.

MATT: "Don't disappoint me."

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Then with that final push, exits out and vanishes into the night air of Asarius.

MARISHA: (heavy breathing) And I spend more-- no, wait. You have to rest to spend the hit dice.

MATT: Yeah. You can go back and do that.

MARISHA: Do I know if they'd still be asleep?

MATT: I mean, you can make a nature check to try and-- or this would be survival. Make a survival check to gauge the point of the evening it may be.

MARISHA: Survival. 19.

MATT: 19. You gather it's a little bit past midnight at this time.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: There are a few more hours before your friends will probably be waking. However, you are losing a long rest in doing this, and it might come to the point of possibly gaining a point of exhaustion, so just be aware.

MARISHA: Okay, okay. Well, I'm going to go back and I'm going to take another short rest. I'm going to crawl back in.

MATT: Make a stealth check for me.

MARISHA: And I keep my eye open on the way. Not great, but could be worse. 13.

MATT: 13, okay. With the armor that you have, no one seems to bother you with that roll. You make your way back towards the pens outside of the Four Corners, stealthily glide into one of the two chambers where the ladies are previously sleeping and allow yourself to take a short rest in silent peace.

MARISHA: And I meditate.

LAURA: You're in there and you're awake, so you could wake us up and make sure we wake up on the earlier side of it than the later side.

MARISHA: I could, yeah.

MATT: As the rest of you complete your short rest, you slowly begin to rouse to consciousness, to the dark, early early morning. It is freezing; there's frost on the edges of the wood that surround you.

LAURA: Feels so good.

MATT: As you come to gather your bearings for whatever the rest of this cold, frozen dew morning brings, we're going to take a break. We'll be back here in a few moments. We do have our giveaway tonight. Over at fantastic Wyrmwood.

SAM: Which one? Which one is it, which one is it?

MATT: This is the Spalted Tamarind. Our friends at Wyrmwood did this. It's a Spalted Tamarind dice tray, made out of very high quality spalted tamarind wood with a leather flooring on this. This will go to one lucky winner when we return. The codeword for tonight is spy. S-P-Y. Here in the Critical Role Twitch chat, enter the word spy once. More than once and you will be disqualified. Once again, it's only for our friends in the US and Canada, excluding Quebec because of stupid giveaway laws, but we're returning shortly with a winner. See you guys in a minute.

LIAM: That Tamarind is so spalted.

MATT: It's so spalted man, oh my god.

Break

♪ You got the perfect warlock ♪ ♪ Her weapons and supplies ♪ ♪ But you need a place to track your stuff ♪ ♪ 'cause you're so disorganized ♪ ♪ You click, open the web page ♪ ♪ You heard about a Critical Role ♪ ♪ And now you're ready to kick some butt ♪ ♪ In a mineshaft full of gnolls ♪ ♪ It's D&D; ♪ ♪ D&D; Beyond ♪ ♪ Yeah D&D; ♪ ♪ D&D; Beyond ♪ ♪ You got your stats ♪ ♪ You got your swords ♪ ♪ And you got your invisible wand ♪ ♪ It's D&D; ♪ ♪ D&D; ♪ ♪ D&D; Beyond ♪ SAM: Hey Travis. Make a cartoon. LIAM: I mean, with the success of the comic book, a cartoon is a no brainer. MARISHA: Imagine my face, but animated. SAM: Animation. LAURA: Travis, the football game's on. You want a beer? SAM: I want to voice Grog! MATT: Want to write some scripts? For a cartoon? SAM: Animation! TRAVIS: (gasps) [High-Pitched Tone] LAURA: What's wrong, honey? TRAVIS: I had a dream that Critical Role is making an animated special. TALIESIN: Go back to sleep. We'll talk about it in the morning. TRAVIS: No. Now! Rise and shine everyone! (groaning) MARISHA: Why would you do that? MATT: All right. Come on, let's go. (dramatic tribal drumming) MATT: Hey world, we are Critical Role. A bunch of nerdy ass voice actors. SAM: And today we are thrilled to announce our 45 day campaign for a Critical Role (gasps) animated special! MATT: Now that has been highly requested, and believe me, for five years, it's been our dream to tell these stories in animation. Now with your support, we're going to make that dream a reality and fund a fully animated half hour special starring the original characters from our first campaign. TRAVIS: Yeah, we are calling it The Legend of Vox Machina. LAURA: Oh my gosh. But why wait? Let's just show them the animated teaser we've been working on. Roll that clip! LAURA: Whoa, no no no, uh-uh! Hold your horses okay? SAM: Why? What's wrong? TRAVIS: No, I mean, some folks might not know, ow, who the hell we are. LIAM: Good point. For those who are not familiar, Critical Role is a live roleplaying show that streams on Thursday nights featuring us, a group of best friends who happen to be professional voice actors. MATT: Now this show has inspired millions of people to create incredible fan art and spread the love of storytelling to a whole new generation. This amazing community has come to be known as the Critters. You know who you are. MARISHA: And the Critter have inspired us to tell our stories in books, live events, even a Dark Horse comic book series. So needless to say, we're pretty stoked to finally take the next big step and make an animated special. LAURA: So without further ado, let's roll that-- TALIESIN: Not yet! LAURA: Grr! TALIESIN: They still don't know about our creative partners. SAM: Okay. TALIESIN: We're not animators, but we happen to know some folks who are pretty good at it. CHRIS: Are we drawing this (censor beep) cartoon or what? It's got action, it's got comedy, it's got drunkenness, it's got everything! MARISHA: We are also bringing in one of the busiest animation writers in the biz to help craft a brand new adventure for Vax Machina. JENNIFER: Your mom uses spell check. Listen, I've been doing this a while and I know what you guys want me to say. No, I'm not giving any spoilers. All I can say is that it is going to be in canon and it takes place before the streaming show started. Also, the bad guy is going to be revealed to be none other than-- SAM: Whew. That was close. LIAM: And how about the voices? That, my friends, is easy. We are all voicing our original roles. Matt, too! MATT: Well, the ones I can do. LIAM: And we'll even be joined by some special celebrity cameos. LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's an all-star lineup. Roll the freakin' clip! SAM: No, not yet. We still need to explain why we need the campaign in the first place. ASHLEY: Hey guys, I'm sorry to interject, but I've been crunching some numbers here. One minute of TV quality animation costs between 30 to $50,000. And our budget of $750,000. (rapid beeping) TRAVIS (VO): What is going on? (clip rewinds) Is way more than any media company wanted to take a chance on. Especially since our show is about a fantasy adventuring group named Vox Machina. You know, based off of a game. Which means we need you to help fund animators, background artists, character designers, sound and picture editors, storyboards, music, special effects, and the writing and recording process for 18 months of production. But I am 100% sure we can get there because after all, I do play a forensic scientist on TV, so I know what I'm talking about. TRAVIS: Thanks, Ash. And with that, it is time to finally show you what we have been working on. Laura, why don't you do the-- LAURA: Role that (censor beep) clip! ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ The adventure begins ♪ ♪ They were always besides you ♪ ♪ Your nerdy best friends ♪ ♪ And the DM to guide you ♪ ♪ And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead ♪ ♪ Villains beware because you're about to be dead ♪ (epic rock music) ♪ They got magic and flair, they got daggers and cunning ♪ ♪ They don't see over there, there's a monster incoming ♪ ♪ Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don't think twice ♪ ♪ Put your fate in your hands, ♪ ♪ take a chance, roll the dice ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Can you answer the call, diggin' deep in your soul ♪ ♪ As the legend unfolds ♪ ♪ Now it's your turn ♪ ♪ To roll! ♪ (cheering) TRAVIS: You know what, you're right. We probably should've led with that. LAURA: Yeah, we should have! Of course, we wouldn't be Critical Role if we didn't have some awesome swag for you guys. We'll be rolling out all kinds of campaign specific rewards, and the higher up you go, the more we can unlock. SAM: Remember, if you can't contribute, you can still support us by sharing the campaign with your rich ass friends. Like me. (glass clink) TRAVIS: Yes, and keep checking back. We will be posting updates with artwork, animation, progress reports all along the way. You can expect the final delivery of The Legend of Vox Machina in the fall of 2020. MATT: Now we began this journey five years ago as a bunch of voice actors with a love of storytelling. With your generosity, we can come full circle back to our roots in voiceover animation. Thank you for sharing our excitement and your support of this project. ALL: Bidet, friends! MATT: Bidet! (tribal drumming) BRIAN: This week Between the Sheets is back with the man, the myth, the legend, Mr. Chris Perkins. CHRIS: One of the first emails I got in the job as the new editor of Dungeon Magazine was from some guy, but I kept it because it grounded me. BRIAN: What do you mean? What was it? CHRIS: "Bring back Dragonlance, you fuck." Was the sum total-- BRIAN: It was from Liam O'Brien. (laughter) LIAM: Subscribe. Or don't subscribe. That's not a question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to ponder the pros and more pros of Twitch or Twitch Prime, or to take hands and gift new subs to Critters who find they can't afford them. To play. To sleep. No more. And by a sleep to say the cast and crew of Critical Role might find their naps around their hectic schedule of a live broadcast that we have brought for your consumption both Critter and fan alike. To play, or sleep. No sleep, but just to stream. Aye, there's the rub. For with your subscription, what streams may come. Oh man, oh man, oh man, that is a fucking tagline. Do we got that? That is Twitch poetry. Oh, anyway. Subscribe to Critical Role. Use Twitch Prime to subscribe. Gift some subscriptions, you got it. Wrong soliloquy for the skull, but that's fucking good. [classical music] [epic orchestral ballad music]

Part II

MATT: Hello everyone and welcome back. Sorry, we were having discussions about who's better, Joel or Mike. Those of you who know, I'm a Joel guy. We're mostly Joel guys. Bernie's a Mike guy.

SAM: I'm a Mike guy.

MATT: Interesting.

TALIESIN: Mike's great.

MATT: We have our winner. The fantastic Wyrmwood giveaway goes to our friend wickdresolution. Wickdresolution, who couldn't be bothered to put an E in there. You're that cool. So wickdresolution, you are the winner of the Wyrmwood box. We'll get that to you ASAP. Congratulations.

LIAM: Maybe it's just wick, like a candle. Like wick resolution.

SAM: Sure.

TALIESIN: Could have a candle company.

LIAM: Taliesin's with me. Aww.

TALIESIN: Yay!

MATT: Phantom tea.

LAURA: Thank you.

MATT: Last we left off, you guys have all come to consciousness shortly after midnight, an hour, two, three hours after you had come to rest for the evening, around dusk. What would you like to do?

TALIESIN: Mild calisthenics.

TRAVIS: No, we're not doing that. It's fucking cold out and it's the worst way to hurt your joints without warming up first.

TALIESIN: I learn something new every day.

TRAVIS: Yep.

TALIESIN: Let's assemble the troops and head to the haunted well.

TRAVIS and LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: I mean, shit, we do this right, we'll be down that well, close the portal, back in our beds before the sun comes up. It'll be great.

LAURA: We need to hurry because the sun is going to come up soon, I think.

TRAVIS: We got a couple hours.

LIAM: Was there a haunted well where you grew up?

TALIESIN: No, but I've always really enjoyed ghost stories and haunted stories, I mean, they're really fascinating. You live in a place like that, you're bound to hear a few.

SAM: Thank you for the armor back.

MARISHA: Thanks for letting me borrow it.

TRAVIS: No, nope. Nope.

LIAM: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Nope. No chance.

SAM: Ready to go.

LAURA: Did you learn a lot?

MARISHA: I did. I did. Look, we should lay low. I think we really need to figure out some better disguises if we're going to stick around for a little bit. I don't know.

LIAM: Maybe when the sun is up. I think we are all right for the time being. Your nose is bleeding. We should go, ja?

TALIESIN: How's your health?

MARISHA: I'm all right. I rested up a little bit.

TALIESIN: Need anything? You all right?

MARISHA: (whispering) I'm at 61 out of 68. (pigeon coo)

SAM: That's not bad.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you're fine, let's do it.

LIAM: That's more than I can ever dream of.

TRAVIS: We make our way towards the well. Stealthily.

SAM: North center of town.

MATT: I would like the entire party to make stealth checks. Yasha included.

TRAVIS: You got it.

SAM: Does anyone want the...

LAURA: Oh, Pass Without a Trace.

MARISHA: What'd you do?

LIAM: Just super average. I just miss Vax, guys, I miss the stealth rolls.

LAURA: I cast Pass Without a Trace on everyone, you guys!

TALIESIN: (singing) Pass Without a Trace!

SAM: Anyone want the dodeca?

LAURA: Somebody should look at it.

TALIESIN: Whose rolls might end up being--

LIAM: Tired Beauregard?

MARISHA: I was going to say Jester to close portals.

TRAVIS: Do it.

MATT: All right, so you and take your mote of possibility. Fragment of possibility upon yourself, that is taken.

TRAVIS: 25 and 26.

MATT: 25 and 26, Beauregard?

MARISHA: 27.

LIAM: 23.

SAM: Wait, do we have a plus something?

LAURA: Plus ten.

SAM: Oh yeah. 24.

LIAM: Come on.

SAM: 34.

LAURA: 21.

TALIESIN: 26.

MATT: You guys, after a fresh evening's rest, apparently that was enough of a reset button for you to be deft and silent on your feet. As you dodge and quickly delve through the various curving pathways and alleys of Asarius to the northern region you had previously scoped the day before. By the hints of barely escaping moonlight that purge and tear through elements of the moving clouds ahead and above you. You guide yourself across and to the region of the bugbear you had met earlier. You see his abode there before you, and where all the streets merge and the well around the corner. What would you wish to do?

TRAVIS: Want to follow me? Anyone out?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Shit, five.

MATT: I mean, there are a few figures patrolling. You get the sense here that, as it is the City of Beasts, there's a fair balance between nocturnal denizens and those that are not. As you're making your way through the city you do notice that it doesn't seem to have really diminished the presence of various civilians in the region.

TRAVIS: Is there a gathering of carts or boxes or some sort of cargo anywhere near us?

MATT: I don't know, man. Not with that perception roll. You can't tell.

TRAVIS: I'll use Minor Illusion and cast a little fire just on the ground about 30 feet away from us. I'd like to put it either on a cart or some parcels or something, just so it looks like some start of a fire.

MATT: Sure.

SAM: Hobo barrel?

TRAVIS: Hobo barrel will work.

LIAM: That's a great juggalo song.

SAM: Was the entry to the cavern or the pathway or whatever below the waterline or above it?

TRAVIS: Seemed like it was above.

SAM: Above.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Seems a bit of rain has begun to touch the ground around you, you can hear the soft hiss as a small storm begins to blow its way over the city of Asarius. What are you guys doing?

TRAVIS: I'm casting Minor Illusion. Create that little fire.

MATT: A little flame begins to emanate from the region with a faint bit of crackling firelight.

TRAVIS: I'll hop into the well.

TALIESIN: I'll take the rope and the bucket and make my way down as well.

MATT: You guys move over on the way.

LAURA: I'm glancing around to see if anybody's watching us go into the well.

MATT: Caduceus, actually, because-- I need to look at that more-- because of your perception, you do notice as you guys are walking by, the structure to your right, you glance through one of the small oval-like portholes nd you see some sort of strange, drifting bit of faint blue energy.

TALIESIN: Eyes of the Grave.

MATT: Eyes of the Grave. No undead presence, but as you look up inside, you just see this faint shimmer. You hear, and listen in and hear (giggles). A thin, creepy chuckle from the inside.

LAURA: I'm going to cast Detect Good and Evil.

MATT: Okay. There are two very strong presences across the wall here that emanate a very defined source of evil.

LAURA: There's really bad things in there, there's really bad things in there.

SAM: These are not in the well, in a building that--

MATT: As you're moving towards the well, to the right of you, the building as you're passing across from it.

SAM: What kind of a building is it? A tavern, shop, apartment building?

MATT: It's a small L-shaped abode. Better made than the rest of the others you've seen in the vicinity.

TRAVIS: It's where Armando lives.

LIAM: Umadon.

TRAVIS: Yep.

TALIESIN: Is it Umadon's residence?

MATT: As he points it out, it is apparently where Fjord had sent him towards.

LAURA: Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.

TRAVIS: Yeah that's his place. He told me that he had a dream where a male and a female bugbear came together and did fantastic things and then made him kill wolves.

TALIESIN: Do we want to take care of this right now?

TRAVIS: I mean, yeah.

LAURA: We should definitely do that. Can we go inside?

TALIESIN: You still have Pass without a Trace right?

MARISHA: We do. Does there appear to be any type of chimney or roof, other entrances?

MATT: From where you were just moving down the side, there doesn't appear to be a chimney. There are the little oval-type openings in the stones that are stacked to create this building. You could squeeze through carefully, a human of you or Fjord's size. Nott can get through easily. Does not appear to be paned with glass, but it is a bit precarious and it isn't an easy leap through type circumstance. There is a front door around the corner.

TALIESIN: I say we just go in the front door.

SAM: Why don't we attack from different vantage points?

LIAM: And I'm sorry, did we say that there are denizens wandering around this area?

MATT: There are, but no one seems to be paying immediate attention to you. They're just going about their business in the night. You guys are pretty stealthy, so no one's really noticed that you've-- you haven't been getting anyone's eye or attention this late at night.

TALIESIN: I mean it's not a very big house right?

MATT: No, it's not at all.

TRAVIS: There aren't a lot of other ways in, right?

TALIESIN: I say we go in and take--

SAM: There's a window right?

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: There appear to be two oval-shaped windows that are small to the point where, other than Nott, anyone else would have to climb up and push through into the space, but there's a front door.

TRAVIS: Go in the front.

SAM: I'm going in the window. I'm going to take a big swig of liquor and creep up to the window.

TALIESIN: We might need you to unlock the door.

MATT: Okay, the rest of you are going in the front? Or are you waiting on Nott? What are you doing?

LAURA: No, we're going to go to the front.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we're going to the front.

MATT: You guys go to the front door. It's locked.

MARISHA: The portals were from a nine hills, a hellish plane?

MATT: It seemed to be abyssal in nature.

MARISHA: Abyssal, right.

MATT: There is a variation between devils and demons. They're both fiends, but they are two different sides of the evil outer plane conflict.

TRAVIS: Yasha will walk out to the front door and kick that fucking shit in.

SAM: Oh Jesus.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make a strength check for Yasha.

TRAVIS: That is a 23.

MATT: Okay, well this is definitely drawing some attention. As you're carefully coming up and peeking over the side you can see a very simple bed chamber. It looks to be a small brazier or torch on the wall that has mostly burned down to embers. It looks to be a small unit with a couple of shelves, some roughshod boxes and containers on the opposite end, and a wide bed made from leftover crates that have had bits of furs and leathers and whatever softish material and placed on it to form a bed that exists there. On the bed, you see that same bugbear that you had come across earlier that Fjord was interrogating. Is currently lying on their back with a wide grin on its face.

SAM: Is it fucking ghosts right now?

MATT: No.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: In two different corners of the chamber, you see two somewhat ethereal entities. One of them appears to be a bugbear, but is somewhat ghostly, translucent, light blue, and is dressed in a very provocative manner. The bugbear ghost.

LIAM: Hot bugbear ghost.

MATT: It seems to be on one side, the other side you see another male bugbear, slender, wide shoulders, dressed in elements of leather straps from one shoulder to the other across. They're both in the process of hands extended towards this sleeping individual. You watch as this faint tether of that faint blue energy, that sparkling type of incantation that had caught Caduceus' eyes, had passed, drifting towards him as he sleeps and causing him to writhe. As you make this observation--

SAM: I will start to cast Message.

MATT: (whump)

SAM: Fuck.

MATT: You hear a wooden door crack open as Yasha kicks in the front door, it splinters open. Comes partially off the main top hinge. You guys enter the building immediately and can see across the way another low burning torch, a relatively simple chamber with a somewhat curved countertop of some kind, and a table that has a few tools and defense weapons on them. To the left, you see a simple dining room table, it is not well kept. One of the legs is partially broken and you see these long stools or benches across from it. Immediately you see another door that leads to a secondary chamber that leads in the direction of the bedroom that you had seen as you passed by.

SAM: Do the ghosts react?

MATT: Oh, yeah. They immediately glance over in that direction and you watch as their ghostly forms become less ghostly. Make a perception check for me, if you don't mind.

SAM: Yeah, I'm great at these. Natural 20.

(cheering)

TALIESIN: You're great at these.

MATT: They both drift into the far corners of the chamber, and as they do you watch as their body changes shape. Instead of the bugbear figures you see, the fur gives away to soft flesh. Human-like. You see leathery wings emerge from the shoulders of each of them, right as they back into the far-shaded corners of the chamber. Let's have a roll initiative if you don't mind.

TRAVIS: Were they talking at all?

MATT: You didn't hear any conversation.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LIAM: Oh shite.

SAM: Guys, D&D Beyond has a promo code going now. You can either use ISUPPORTSAM, I think that was what it was.

LIAM: No, that's not a code. It's just ISUPPORTLIAM, they only have one code.

SAM: There were two codes. It's ISUPPORTSAM or ISUPPORTLIAM. Both codes provide a 25% off any digital books, full digital books in your cart. But the Sam one is better.

LIAM: I think the ISUPPORTSAM is actually one point less of a discount.

SAM: I think it's cooler.

TALIESIN: You know, no, no, no.

MATT: Who is where at the front of this building? As far as the order goes, if you don't mind.

TALIESIN: I'm thinking about it.

LIAM: Caleb's at the rear just going over spells in his head nervously.

MATT: You're in the building towards the back?

LIAM: The back, wherever, I'm back of everybody. If Caduceus is outside I'm behind him.

MATT: Caduceus, where are you?

TALIESIN: I'm probably right-- going to push into the corner up there. Can I see them, where are they? Okay.

MATT: No, you don't see anything, the door is closed.

MARISHA: I'll be behind Yasha.

MATT: Beau, you're behind Yasha.

LIAM: I guess I'll just be peeking in the door from outside.

MATT: From there?

LIAM: Yeah, that's good. Thank you.

MATT: There's Jester. Fjord, where are you?

TRAVIS: In the room.

MATT: In relation to the rest of the party.

TRAVIS: Anywhere I fit.

MATT: Anywhere you fit?

SAM: On a table.

MATT: Probably next to Yasha or the bear or--

TRAVIS: Yeah, no, that's fine.

MATT: All right. There is the sleeping bugbear on the bed there.

LAURA: It's a very teeny space to fight in.

MATT: There are the two figures in the chamber, but only Nott sees those. Let's go ahead and get initiative put on you guys here.

TALIESIN: That was a lot of dice.

MATT: It was a single die.

TALIESIN: Really? That had reverb. Turn off the reverb on the [inaudible].

MATT: At that point, I would say initiative wise, 25 to 20, anybody?

SAM: I got 20.

MATT: 20. Nott is-- All right. 20 to 15.

TALIESIN: 17.

LAURA: 19.

MATT: 19 for Jester.

MARISHA: 18.

LIAM: 16.

TALIESIN: 17 for Cad.

MATT: Beau-- Sorry, 16 for--

LIAM: 16, yeah.

MATT: So Caduceus.

MARISHA: You were so stoked that. Did you roll well?

TALIESIN: This was a really good roll for me.

MARISHA: It was so cute.

TALIESIN: I got plans, man. Plans.

MATT: 15 to 10?

TRAVIS: Yasha rolled a 14.

LIAM: That's just, like, your opinion, man.

TALIESIN: Got some good spells that are really--

MATT: Nott, what'd you get? Oh yeah, you guys are being grouped together. All right, and Fjord is holding at the rear. Great, so Nott, the minute that impact hits and you see the figures on the side, you're the only one who can really see them. You watch as they both curl up and fly into the far corners of shadow, just waiting around that door.

SAM: So they're hiding?

MATT: They're hiding. In these upper corners right there. What will you do with your turn, buddy?

SAM: Oh boy.

MATT: Come on.

SAM: Oh boy. I could just attack, or I could...

MATT: Mrs. Nott.

LIAM: Miss Nott.

LAURA: Do you want to attack them?

SAM: Nope. I'll continue casting message. I will just send a message to Caleb and say: Two in the room hiding in the ceiling upper corners when you come through the door!

MATT: Make an additional stealth check. You are outside the radius of Jester's spell, so you do not get the plus ten bonus. This is to see if you can quietly convey that without their noticing.

TALIESIN and LAURA: Natural 20.

MARISHA: Oh shit!

TRAVIS: Wow!

MATT: As deftly as you could expect, and practiced with message, you sit there and both carefully place the emission of your breath through your lips and keep it below the stone to where none of that sound seems to even barely creep into the chamber through that porthole. They don't take notice. You finish casting Message and notify Caleb. That's your action. Any movement?

SAM: No, no movement. I mean, I'll just stay there, stay there. With bonus action, can I activate Mage Hand, just to have it?

MATT: You can cast it as a bonus action?

LAURA: Cast it as action.

SAM: Yeah, but then I have some other ability. I'll look later. If I can, I will.

MATT: Okay, well think about while it's somebody else's turn, that's fine. That's fine, I'll keep it at bay. That ends your go, Nott. Jester, you are up next.

LAURA: Okay. I'm going to run forward and open the door.

LIAM: Solo hit points.

LAURA: And step back. As much as I can.

MATT: This way?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: You have five more feet to go there.

LAURA: Okay. I'm going to Invoke Duplicity.

MATT: All right, and where are you invoking it?

LAURA: In front of me, but I'm having her run into the room.

TALIESIN: Well done.

LAURA: And I'm going to make it look like she's casting Spiritual Weapon right in front of her. A giant lollipop.

MATT: Okay. Let me just do a quick reminder glance, Invoke Duplicity is an interesting, unique, and strange cleric capability. (reading) "As a bonus action, move it up to 30 feet."

SAM: I use bonus action to control the hand. But I think I need to do an action to activate it, so forget it.

MATT: Okay, so you cannot create spell effects around it. Your duplicate begins to look like it's casting a spell, but there are no additional flaring effects of the spell appearing.

LAURA: Yeah, but I cast spells through the duplicate. I can do that, so I'm casting Spiritual Weapon through the duplicate is all that I meant.

MATT: You are casting Spiritual Weapon?

LAURA: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: We'll you create Invoke Duplicity in here, it's a bonus action to cause it to move. You can either cast the spell or cause it to move, but you can create it within 30 feet of you, so you'll create it in the room then. So it'll appear.

LAURA and MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I saw flea market Laura Bailey.

MATT: You're choosing to have it appear in the chamber.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: You watch in the center of the room as suddenly a duplicate Jester illusion just apparates in the center of the chamber.

LAURA: She's looking like she bamfed in and she's ready to fight.

MATT: All right, and then your bonus action is casting Spiritual Weapon where?

LAURA: She's casting Spiritual Weapon right over the bed, like she's protecting the bugbear.

MATT: All right. Right in that area there. Okay. You do not see any targets. You have no one to attack with it, but it has been cast.

LAURA: Okay, can I swing it wildly just to see if it hits anything?

MATT: Sure, roll an attack.

LAURA: I think there's ghosts in there.

MATT: Okay, go for it, roll an attack.

LAURA: Uh, no. 11, no. 12.

MATT: Swings wildly. Doesn't seem to impact anything, but you got to give it a shot, why not?

LAURA: Might as well try.

MATT: Yeah. All right, that finishes your go, Jester. Next up is Beau with Caduceus on deck. Beau, what you got?

MARISHA: I... Peek into the room, peek around the corner with my goggles on.

MATT: 25, and so--

MARISHA: Kind of stealthily, just want to check the room.

MATT: I'll say perception check, since you're looking specifically for something, go ahead and this'll be your bonus action.

MARISHA: Yeah, that's good. 20.

MATT: 20?

MARISHA: No, sorry, 22.

MATT: 22.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. You do not see anything but the sleeping bugbear. You glance in-- or no, I'm sorry. You see the sleeping bugbear, you see Jester's spiritual weapon just swinging wildly over it just some weird Willy Wonka nightmare, and you see the duplicate of Jester in the chamber looking around and making hand motions like it's controlling the spiritual weapon, but that's all you see.

MARISHA: You said that was my action?

MATT: That was your bonus action.

MARISHA: My bonus action. I will hold my action 'till I see something. In case it comes running out the door.

MATT: Okay, you got it. In case you see anything come by, you're going to hit it. That finishes your go, Beau. Caduceus, you're up.

SAM: Why are you so low on the initiative, Caleb?

TALIESIN: I'm going to, because these things are weird, I'm going to try and position myself so I can get a good look at everybody. I know I can't see Nott, but I'm going to--

MATT: You can't see any of these things. You have no idea what happened.

TALIESIN: No, but I want to be able to see our whole party. I know that Beau just--

MATT: Where do you want to move?

TALIESIN: Somewhere where I can see Beau.

MATT: You can see Beau where you are currently.

TALIESIN: Oh, who's in the room, then?

MATT: You're right there.

TALIESIN: I mean who's in the other room?

MATT: In the other room? Nobody yet. Nobody that you can see has left your side, everyone else is in the chamber.

TALIESIN: I'm going to just back up a little, I just want to make sure everyone's within 30 feet of me.

MATT: Everyone's within 30 feet of you.

TALIESIN: All right, then I'm casting-- not that one, that's the wrong thing. Where'd it go? Where is my Beacon of Hope?

MATT: Beacon of Hope is an action.

TALIESIN: I'm casting Beacon of Hope. So everybody has advantage on wisdom saving throws. Except for Nott, sorry.

SAM: Sure.

TALIESIN: And death saving throws. And whenever you heal, you heal maximum number of points.

LAURA: Tight.

TALIESIN: No rolling for healing.

MATT: You got it.

TALIESIN: All right. Yeah, other than that I'm just going to just stay ready.

MATT: All right. Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: I move along the wall, and as I move I whisper harshly: Nott says that there are two things hiding in the ceiling. And I jam a licorice root in my mouth, chew it a bit, wave my hands together and cast Haste on Beauregard.

MATT: Okay. So Beau's hasted and you are concentrating. You got it.

SAM: Beauregard ain't no slow-regard!

TRAVIS: Wow.

LAURA: Nope.

TALIESIN: Suddenly, I don't miss Scanlan. That's weird.

MATT: Out of this corner, let me see. Does not seem to be, at the moment, taken in by the illusion of Jester's arrival. Shifts out of the corner to see who's making this ruckus, flying over to this corner of the chamber, and glancing through. Caleb, I need you to make a wisdom saving throw for me.

LIAM and TALIESIN: At advantage.

LIAM: Oh great. That is a 26.

MATT: 26.

TALIESIN: Had a feeling.

MATT: Out of the corner of your eye, you notice... Close to meta gaming, but sure.

TALIESIN: He knew what we were getting into.

MATT: Sure. As you finish casting Haste on Beauregard, and watch her muscles begin to pulse with the adrenaline rushing through her system, you glance up and out of the corner of your eye you see appear out of the shadows this beautiful red, pinkish-skinned male humanoid figure that drifts through the distant backside of the bedroom area. He has leathery red wings that, as it pulls back, and as it looks at you and just goes, and curls a fingers toward it. You feel this presence try and push into your brain and for a minute your eyes lock onto it and there's this drawn sense towards it. You just shake it off with your mind for a second. No effect. It seems to be frustrated with that reveal and going to growl and move over to this side of the chamber. Drifting we'll say up here in this corner. All right. Ending its turn, that brings us to Yasha's go.

TRAVIS: Yeah, Yasha will walk up to the doorway, seeing everyone sort of hesitate, and will post up just on the side of the doorway and she will listen. Is there any sort of language being spoken in the room?

MATT: I'll say just hearing over, there's no sound other than an angry growl as something seems frustrated on the other side of that chamber's door.

TRAVIS: Did Nott communicate with just Caleb what she saw?

SAM: Caleb just--

TRAVIS: Told everybody?

MATT: Caleb said it very quickly.

LIAM: Said two things in the ceiling.

TRAVIS: Okay. That's her turn.

MATT: Okay. End of Yasha's turn. Yasha's glancing up. Over the doorway that's been pushed open, these clawed fingers curl over. These glowing yellow eyes peer over from this bright red, voluminous lips of some female, almost tieflingesque, from the experiences you've had, definitely a demonic twist, but beautiful. Glances over towards Yasha and just gives a wink. Yasha can make a wisdom saving throw for me, please.

SAM, MATT, TALIESIN: At advantage.

TRAVIS: These suck for her.

MARISHA: That was good, though.

TRAVIS: 16.

MATT: Fuck man, okay.

TRAVIS: 18 and a 17 minus one.

MATT: This is--

TALIESIN: We're going ghost hunting, man.

MATT: Yeah, it's cool, it's cool.

MARISHA: It's what Caduceus is good at.

MATT: Yeah. These aren't ghosts.

LIAM: Stupid D&D characters with their skills.

MATT: Yeah, no. I'll smash you later, it's fine.

TALIESIN: I know.

MATT: She glances back in an angry, frustrated stare. The creature, the female entity that's staring out the doorway assesses the moment, looks at the rest of you, and goes, "Aye, you're no fun," and pushes off. Drifts over around this corner in a wide arc and disappears to the other side, you won't even see her.

MARISHA: Do I get an action? Is she within my range?

MATT: Nope, she's avoiding the door. That ends their go. Fjord, you're up.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yep. Cool. Who's going to be the first one to go in the room, huh? Who's going to be the first?

TALIESIN: I say we send a cleric in there, that's always funny.

TRAVIS: I'll cast (tongue waggling)

LIAM: Is that an action or a bonus action?

SAM: (exaggerated German accent) Eldritch blast.

TRAVIS: Yeah fuck it, why not, let's have some fun. I'll go into the room.

LAURA: Don't worry Fjord, I will protect you.

MATT: That's 20-foot there.

TRAVIS: Thank you, and I will cast Shadow of Moil on myself.

SAM: What is that?

TRAVIS: I summon the falchion, and you see these black flames ignite at my feet and spiral up around Fjord.

MARISHA: That's dope.

SAM: When I hear moil. My penis shrivels up.

(laughter)

MATT: All right. As Fjord steps through, pushing past the hasted Beau, you watch as the already low-lit chamber darkens around his torso, and where the shadow seems to gather and press itself around the edges of the armor, you see these tendrils drift off, like the shadow itself is leaving these dripping tentacles that then dissipate into a dark dust and then reform across his body as he steps into the chamber.

LAURA: That sounds really fucking cool.

MATT: That's your action?

TRAVIS: That's my action. With my bonus action, can I see either of the two entities in the room?

MATT: That one had no opportunity to stealth, so now that you glance you can see, now that one's curled up in the corner, perched up, arms and legs there, and the wings themselves are open and curved around the interior. It's looking straight at you as you enter the chamber watching--

TRAVIS: This one right here?

MATT: This one right here, one across the way. Eyes are on you. The bugbear's still asleep in the bed. The one across the way is similarly perched up, though less aggressive and more gargoylesque just watching you enter.

TRAVIS: Interesting. I will... Yeah, I'm going to save it. That's it, that's my turn.

MATT: Okay. That brings us to Nott. You're up first.

SAM: Oh, my go. Okay. I will fire my-- is Fjord in melee range? Well, I'm still hidden, so I will take a sneak attack, I think.

MATT: Possibly, against which one?

SAM: On the one next to Fjord.

MATT: Sure, go for it.

SAM: Pretty good, pretty good. Let's say that that's a 28 to hit.

MATT: 28 to hit, that'll definitely hit.

SAM: That deals, is it sneak attack?

MATT: It is sneak attack; it was not aware of your presence.

SAM: Great. 26 points of damage.

MATT: Nice!

SAM: Then... Does it see me now, I guess?

MATT: It is very aware of your presence as you leap up behind and fire the bolt. (hisses) As she hisses at you, you watch as the very beautiful, slender, smooth features of the face momentarily stretch into this awful demonic visage before retracting once more.

SAM: Should I help the bugbear, or should I-- I don't care about the bugbear.

LAURA: Attack!

SAM: I will bonus action hide. I'm just going to dive back down under the window.

MATT: Go for it.

SAM: Stealth 22.

MATT: 22. All righty, so you believe that you are stealthy.

SAM: I do believe that.

MATT: That finishes Nott's go. Jester you're up.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to send my duplicate forward to the guy hiding in the corner.

MATT: Over there?

LAURA: Uh-huh.

MATT: The duplicate's going to have-- he's up in the corner of the room about ten feet up. It can try and attempt to leap and cast a spell, if it wants to.

LAURA: Okay. It's going to-- isn't it-- I mean, does the duplicate walk on the ground or if I want to move it up?

MATT: It doesn't have a fly speed, so it does.

LAURA: Okay. Is the girl on the ground?

MATT: No, she's up in the corner. To be a little more specific, it's adjacent to Fjord, technically, but she's more up in the corner perched.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay. Then yeah, the duplicate's going to jump up and try to tap the guy on the foot and cast Inflict Wounds at 3rd-level.

MATT: Go for it.

SAM: Whoa!

TALIESIN: Wow.

LIAM: Toenail's coming off.

SAM: Look at that roll.

LAURA: Woo!

TALIESIN: That was indecisive.

LAURA and MATT: 15 plus eight.

MATT: Nice, that definitely hits.

LAURA: That's 5d10.

SAM: 5d10?! What?! That's illegal.

LAURA: 17, 19, 25.

TALIESIN: That's some great dice.

SAM: That's four, wait there's more.

LAURA: Aw. 26.

MATT: 26 points of necrotic damage. Woo! Not fun. As the duplicate reaches up and grasps at the toe, the entity is focused currently on this shadowy form that is gathering around Fjord's body, and glances down just in time to see the illusion move and looks angrily down before, taps the toe, and withdraws even further up, Exorcist crawling up into the corner even further, hitting the ceiling which slightly shifts upward causing dust to settle from above.

LAURA: Right as he does that, I use my bonus action to swing the spiritual weapon up and smack him up into the corner.

MATT: All right, spiritual weapon shifts up and now pincer attacking both illusionary Jester and the spiritual weapon going towards the center.

LAURA: That probably doesn't hit, 11.

MATT: 11 does not hit. As it swings towards it, it actually ducks out of the way. The wings lifting with the cushion of air sending dust and loose hair that's been shed by the bugbear to drift up from the floor of the chamber, and in doing so the spiritual weapon swings ahead and actually slams into one of the top boards that supports the ceiling, you watch as the wood cracks from the impact.

LAURA: I'm going to scooch back.

MATT: Scooch back here?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: And into the corner.

MATT: This way?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All right, step onto the table to do that.

LAURA: Okay, yeah.

MATT: You clamor up onto the dining room table and step off in the corner holding yourself there.

LAURA: Kind of like this.

MATT: There you go. That's Jester's turn. Next up is Beau. What are you doing?

MARISHA: I'm going to do a little roll past Fjord, very epically, to get into the room. Then I'm going to pop up and I'm going to hit the one next to Fjord first.

MATT: You roll past into the chamber. You've seen it peek out and then dash into the corner as you rush, and you have enough movement to glance up, see it adjust, and then leap to try and grasp or attack it. What are you going to do?

MARISHA: Vault off the wall a little bit, and I'm going to go for a kidney shout.

TRAVIS: Kidney shout?

MARISHA: Kidney shout! The extra action, does that mean I get two additional attacks with haste or just one?

MATT: No, it's one weapon attack.

MARISHA: One weapon attack, okay. First two attacks. That's a natural 19 for the first one and a nine for the other making it a 17.

MATT: Yeah, both hit.

MARISHA: Okay. I said my elbow, I'll do these with, I probably need magical anyway, I'm going to do these with my fists. Okay, ten damage, and then another six for 16. One more attack with haste, that's 18.

MATT: 18 hits.

MARISHA: And eight damage.

MATT: Eight damage, nice.

MARISHA: Flurry of Blows.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Natural 17 for the first one and a two for the other one.

MATT: The two misses, but the 17 does.

MARISHA: Ten damage and Extract Aspects.

LAURA and MARISHA: Extract Aspects!

MARISHA: I grab her wrist and I get her in a wristlock and try to concentrate on her pulse and see what I can determine.

MATT: As you do that, you feel your ki press into this creature, and as your life essence merges with it, there's a slight burning sensation from the impact, you instinctually withdraw, but as you do, you also get a sense of its physicality. It has no vulnerabilities or condition immunities, or damage immunities, but it is resistant to cold, fire, lightning, and poison.

MARISHA: Resistant. To cold, fire, lightning, poison.

MATT: And bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from non-magical weapons, which you notice as your unarmed strikes are not quite doing as much damage as you hoped.

MARISHA: No, my punches are magical.

MATT: Oh that's right, they are!

MARISHA: That's why I decided to not attack with the staff.

MATT: You're right, you're fine.

MARISHA: So that was all full damage.

MATT: Yeah, you're good.

MARISHA: Okay. I just turn to the room and I say they're resistant to a lot of shit!

MATT: There you go.

SAM: Cool, thanks.

TRAVIS: Helps a lot.

LIAM: High fantasy.

SAM: Ghost puncher!

MARISHA: Based on the quickness of the statement, the vagueness of the statement, you probably didn't learn much yet, but we'll move on from that. All right that finishes your go, Beau?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Caduceus, you're up.

TALIESIN: I'm going to also come around so I can see into the room. If I can get in front of Jester, like not quite that close, but like there. Can I see anything that's going on, or can I not really--

MATT: You glance and you can see Fjord, some weird curling shadows, and a little bit of Jester's illusion and that's it.

TALIESIN: All right, I'm going to send my beetles in there because I don't think that's a good room for me.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: That's a bonus action, I'm going to send my beetles. I'm going to activate the blightstaff.

MATT: The beetles appear in there. Visually you have nowhere to send them.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm just shooting them all the way into the farthest reaches of the room that I can.

MATT: That you can see?

TALIESIN: Yeah, that I can see.

MATT: All right, so the beetles fly down and begin to envelop the nightstand structure next to the sleeping bugbear. The bugbear you can see is like, (shocked grunts) Looks over and just sees this cloud of beetles and land next to it.

TALIESIN: Then for fun, if I can, if I can take a copper piece and cast Light spell on that and throw that in there. Is it dark in there?

MATT: There's very faint ember burning on the walls.

TALIESIN: I'll light this room up. I'm going to take a copper piece and cast Light on it and toss it in the room.

MATT: This single coin comes lobbing into the room, end over end, and the suddenly releases this bright torchlight as it lands cling-a-ling in the corner. Definitely wakes up the bugbear, Umadon, and the room is now well-lit. Now you can see, other than Fjord, which the shadows still seem to cling to him, it's this weird void of light in the space where he's standing, but now between the two creatures that are up in the corners of the wall you can see the long shadows, their wings and their bodies are casting across the ceiling in the area of the wall around them. They both hiss over in the direction of this coin.

TALIESIN: I'll back up as much as I can with what's remaining of my move.

MATT: You only got about five feet.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I only got five feet.

MATT: That finishes your go, Caduceus?

TALIESIN: Yep yep yep.

MATT: Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: Okay, so walking towards the door I pull an adder's stomach out of my pocket and draw it back and a shimmering green arrow appears next to me and I let it go towards the fuckboy in the upper corner on that side.

MATT: Roll an attack.

SAM: Adder's stomach?

LIAM: 14 plus, that is-- shite. Shite, shite, shite. 19 to hit.

MATT: 19 does hit, yeah.

LIAM: Okay, and then damage. What did I do?! D&D Beyond is 4d4. Okay, so it takes 4d4 acid damage immediately and then some more at the end of its next turn, so it gets two, four, six, ten points of acid damage.

MATT: Nice. You release it. It's hissing at the gold coin, the light that's emerging from it. It doesn't have a chance to see you as you enter the doorway as you release this arcane arrow of condensed greenish energy. It flies forward and bursts across its shoulders and chest. Acid begins to burn and scar across its demonic flesh. It tries to rub it off with its hands, but then it burns its hand, and its wings are now keeping it aloft as it's focused on the pain of that's now burning into its body.

LIAM: I will use the last five to ten of my movement to just swing like a door and press myself out of its view in this room. No, next to Yasha against the wall. Out of its sight. Done.

MATT: All right. That finishes your go. Both of these creatures, now one burning. The male figure up in the corner looks over at the other one and there's a moment that they both go, and look and nod to each other. You watch as the male figure, his body suddenly returns to that somewhat ghostly, ethereal blue tint to it. The acid just falls off of its body and plummets, hitting the boxes and the ground of this chamber. The wood begins to slowly burn and wither away from beneath it. It begins to move and shift out of this door.

MARISHA: Do I get an attack of opportunity on it?

MATT: Yeah, go for it. Roll an attack.

MARISHA: Sentinel attack. Fuck. 12.

MATT: You swing and your fist passes through its body. No effect.

LIAM: Because of the new form, I assume invulnerable to acid now.

MATT: The acid seemed to pass through its body and is no longer taking the ongoing damage. With that, it moves out of sight.

TALIESIN: Did Nott get an attack of opportunity on that?

SAM: No, I'm across the room.

TALIESIN: Oh you're the other way, okay, never mind.

MATT: With that, it's Yasha's go.

TRAVIS: Oh the other one doesn't go as well? Just that one?

MATT: Yasha's in-between the two. Based on initiatives.

TRAVIS: Yasha will come inside the room and unleash the Magician's Judge at the other one that's up in the corner.

MATT: Currently Yasha can't get to it. Beau and you are blocking spaces to get within melee.

TRAVIS: Oh that's unfortunate.

MATT: It is. She busts into the chamber and it's too crowded.

TRAVIS: She'll hold her attack. And that's her turn. She would like to, no, she's not going to rage. Yeah, fuck it, she would like to rage.

MATT: So she comes out of the corner angrily. Grrr, bursts into a rage, and having the weapon at the ready preparing to come in close enough for a big ol' swing away strike, all right. Now comes the other creature's turn. Watching that one vanish, the other one sees Yasha at the ready, you below, just rolling shadows around your body, you right below just ready to go ahead and open up another can of whoop ass on it. The body shifts back into that same semi-translucent blue form and darts. Out of the doorway.

TRAVIS: That's like a natural ability they have? Not a spell or anything?

MATT: Seems to be, maybe. You get an attack of opportunity, Beau does not because you've already used your reaction.

TRAVIS: Oh nice, cool.

MATT: You've learned a new set of techniques, unfortunately.

TRAVIS: 19 to hit.

MATT: That would hit. As you swing with your blade, passes through, no effect.

MARISHA: You rolled a 19?

MATT: As it darts out the window and then vanishes out of sight beyond that window frame. So Fjord, your turn.

TRAVIS: Yeah, okay. With my bonus action, because I can see out the window, I will Misty Step in the direction that they seem to have disapparated.

MATT: All right.

SAM: That a word?

TRAVIS: In Harry Potter it is.

MATT: You appear there. What you do notice. There we go. This one is in the process of flying and diving down into the well.

LAURA: Are they ethereal still?

MATT: They are. Not that you would know.

LAURA: No, I'm just--

MATT: But yeah, they are. Fjord, what are you doing?

TRAVIS: I will advance on them 30 feet.

MATT: All right. You're there.

TRAVIS: That's not so bad. I will take two swipes at-- am I in melee at both or just the one? Are they still translucent?

MATT: Yes, they are. You're in melee at both. The one that's in the well technically does have half cover because it is in the process of leaping down inside, so the well is partially obscuring its body.

TRAVIS: I don't know what the point is. They're fucking-- they're vapor. I'll take one swipe at the one that's next to me that's not in the well.

MATT: Go for it.

TRAVIS: 23.

MATT: 23. (whooshing) No effect.

SAM: Oh man.

MATT: You get the sense with each strike that you can see them, they're there, but it's like they're not there. It's this weird in-between.

TRAVIS: Cool. Yep, I'll say: Fuck you! And that's it.

MATT: That finishes Fjord's go. Nott.

SAM: I'll run around the corner.

MATT: You glance around after watching them vanish through the doorway and then Fjord giving chase, you turn around and you can see them all clustered right around the well in the far corner of this area.

SAM: I will dash over there.

MATT: Rest of the move going to be (counting) 35, and then you can bonus action dash.

SAM: Bonus action dash.

MATT: (counting) 25.

TRAVIS: Hey.

SAM: Hey. I don't know what they can do. I'll try to cast a spell on one of them. I guess. ♪ I cast a spell on you ♪ ♪ And now you're mine ♪ I will cast Tasha's Hideous Laughter on one of them.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: Which one?

SAM: The one that is not, no, the one that's in the well already.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: Cork the bottle.

MATT: You rush up, your hands forming the incantation, these faint little lines of arcane runes emanate from your fingertips as you draw in the air and release it towards the one that's diving in the well.

SAM: I'm going to say: What happens when a moorbounder enters a feline beauty contest? It's a cat-tastrophe!

TRAVIS: Oh my god. Do we all take psychic damage?

LAURA: Every time.

MATT: All the viewers, us at the table, we all take psychic damage.

LIAM: Point of exhaustion.

MARISHA: Most powerful spell.

MATT: The energy of the spell is released, however, the area where the spell takes effect does not seem to share the same space as the creature you intended, and the arcane net of its effect has none.

SAM: Well, then I'll just use the rest of my little bit of movement and just jump up on the side of the well ready to pounce.

MATT: You're right up there. Jester, you're up.

LAURA: Okay. I'm going to turn around, I'm going to run out the door and try to chase after them.

MATT: Okay. (counting) 30. That's your 30 feet of movement.

LAURA: I'm going to-- I guess my spiritual weapon will follow me.

MATT: (counting) 20, that's as far as it can go.

LAURA: Can it go out the window?

MATT: If you can see where it's going, but you have to have visual perspective on where to send it. If you wanted to--

LAURA: I could leave it in the room until I see around the corner, and then I'll bring it out with me?

MATT: You can do that.

LAURA: Okay, I'll do that.

MATT: Instead you have it here. That's your action to get there.

LAURA: Yeah. Then--

MATT: That's your movement to get there. You have your action and your bonus action still.

LAURA: Oh right. I'll use my action to double--

MATT: Dash?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. (counting) 30, we'll say you get around the corner there and you can use your bonus action to--

LAURA: Yeah, to bring the spiritual weapon out.

MATT: Five, ten, 15, 20. There you go. That's your turn. That brings us to Beauregard.

MARISHA: Can I jump through the window?

MATT: You can certainly try.

MARISHA: Double speed.

TRAVIS: Trinity.

MATT: Ten-- I'm not going to make you roll for it. It's a hasted action, and you're a slender figure anyway, you just dive through, come to a roll and back to your feet.

TALIESIN: Old school Superman serial stunt move.

SAM: She ain't no slow-regard! Look at her go-regard!

MATT: No Sam, no.

SAM: No-regard!

TRAVIS: Please no more!

MATT: Double speed, that's your movement. You still have your action and bonus action.

MARISHA: What am I going to do with these people? I can't punch them.

LAURA: Try talking to them.

MATT: You hear Jester shout behind you.

LAURA: Try talking to them!

MARISHA: Uh... I say, in Deep Speech.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: What I can remember from Latin class. I say, what do I say? I say: I don't think you want to run from us.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Don't think you want to do that.

MATT: Make a persuasion check, or would this be intimidation? I think it's intimidation.

MARISHA: 17?

MATT: Okay. As you say that, the one that's diving down is now just heading out of view. The secondary one that's off the side looks towards you with a grin, and doesn't move its lips, but a voice in your head says, "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're saying. But please, come play and follow." Beauregard?

MARISHA: Yeah?

MATT: I'll say that whole exchange, that'll be out of your action. You have a bonus action still if you want to.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: You going to end your turn? All right, Caduceus.

TALIESIN: Full runaround with both action and movement, as far as I can get.

MATT: 30, you're coming around the corner right next to Beau's--

TALIESIN: Also for my bonus, I will tell my swarm to head out the window and find those people.

MATT: 30.

TALIESIN: They're 20, I believe, actually.

MATT: Oh, 20? They're in the window right there! Yeah, as they move you hear, (panicked noises) as the now somewhat lucid bugbear denizen of this chamber is wondering what the fuck is happening and is now just watching a cloud of beetles just scatter across his visual range and completely engulf the ceiling and window area of his bedroom.

LAURA: My duplicate is just smiling at him really creepily.

MATT: He's like (panicked noises)

SAM: Don't let the bed bugbears bite.

LAURA: Every, just one after the other, Sam.

TRAVIS: You got to leave and come back in.

LAURA: We need a short rest.

MATT: Apparently. All right, that finish Caduceus's go, Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: I grab the leather strip tied around my thigh and mutter a few arcane words and bring up Mage Armor and enter the room. And look out that window, because I don't know what's going on yet fully. Stick my head out and see what's going on and say: What is the plan? What are we doing? And that's the end of my turn.

MATT: Okay, you look out there and there's nobody there. You hear them for a second, you hear crickets. Or are you looking out this windows?

LIAM: I'm at the bug window. I enter this room.

MATT: You go out there and it is just a cloud of insects and you're slowly pushing your head through and you feel the (landings) across your face. You open your mouth to talk and one of them, you're like why does, (spitting)! You spit one out and it finds its way.

LIAM: And that's the end of my turn.

MATT: That ends Caleb's go. The male fiendish creature finishes the descent down into the well and vanishes from view.

SAM: Do we get an attack of opportunity? Doesn't matter.

MATT: From there that brings us to Yasha's turn.

TRAVIS: Yeah, Yasha will... Jesus, she can't push past the beetles and Caleb and get out the window, can she?

MATT: She can if she wants to.

LIAM: Shove the wizard through.

TRAVIS: Yeah fuck it, she's going American Gladiators through the window.

MATT: After you're like what's the plan? Oof, all of a sudden you just get pushed down and Yasha just muscles through the window. Some of the beetles get crushed against the sides of the portal, and Yasha's bigger than Beau, so whereas Beau can dive through Yasha has to squeeze through and lands on the opposite side. That's her movement. She still has, she actually has tem more feet of movement, she's a barbarian.

TRAVIS: Yeah, she'll dash and catch up to the rest.

MATT: All right, and so you guys have all found the outside. End of Yasha's turn, the other fiendish creature dives into the well and actually goes, gives a wink and blows a kiss and disappears into the shaded well below. They are no longer visible. Fjord, your turn.

TRAVIS: Well. This feels like a trap. I'm going to wait for our group to catch up.

MATT: Okay. 12 seconds later everyone managed to gather.

MARISHA: I'll circle around staring down the hole.

MATT: As you all gather around the outside, the beetles overhead, you hear this voice behind go, "What is going on?" You look through the window and you see this half-dazed, very confused, scared-looking bugbear, a familiar one to you, peeking through going (confused noises).

TRAVIS: Get your head back in that window!

MATT: "Of course, sorry!" And slowly backs into the bed chamber.

TRAVIS: Well.

SAM: Come on!

LAURA: I'll bring my duplicate over while we're...

SAM: Let's go!

TRAVIS: I mean, where are we going? Down in there into the rift in the portal?

SAM: Yes!

TRAVIS: Or are we just going to seal it up?

SAM: I don't know.

MARISHA: She said she wanted proof, how are we going to show proof that we sealed a portal?

SAM: Take a picture?

TRAVIS: You got a cell phone?

SAM: You can draw. I don't know. We can't just sit here. This is what we came for.

TRAVIS: Yeah, all right.

SAM: Are you a coward suddenly?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'll climb down into the well.

SAM: I'm going down.

MARISHA: Just trying to be patient, fuck.

MATT: Okay, you're climbing down together?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: Want to jump? I can make us jump.

TRAVIS: Sure.

LAURA: 30 feet.

SAM: Jump with me!

TRAVIS: Okay.

SAM: Feather Fall.

MATT: Okay, you both leap, one after the other, and then drift down gently into the surface of the water below. You begin to approach and approach and at the last second you push off the back of the well and make your way towards that opening, it's not very big. You go ahead Nott and squeeze through. Fjord, you wedge yourself halfway in. Your head and one arm and part of a knee in there and the other half of your body's like.

SAM: Should I pull you through?

TRAVIS: It's a tight fit. I'll wiggle it.\

MATT: Make an acrobatics check.

TRAVIS: Nope.

MATT: You are wedged, you are Winnie the Pooh trying to exit Rabbit's house right now.

LAURA: Do you need some help?

TRAVIS: Well, the hole's plugged. We can go home.

LAURA: I'm going to climb down the well and try to push him.

SAM: I have pull.

TRAVIS: Ow!

MATT: Make a strength check with advantage because Nott is helping you.

LAURA: That one's cocked. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Ten.

MATT: Ten? You push and push and push, you do manage to eventually force Fjord through. Your torso is caught up on a jagged piece of exposed earth and you do take two points of piercing damage as you are forced through the opening and then find yourself on the opposite side. As you land all hands and knees onto the ground, a bit of the caked up dust also has remnants of that strong sulfurous smell. To accompany the long forgotten dust and a bit of that musty wet earth. The rest of you guys?

TALIESIN: I'm going to wait for Yasha to see if she can open up the hole a little bit.

MARISHA: Yeah, I'm going to wait and just look down and I'm going to see what happens.

LIAM: We've taken a few moments here right?

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: A wave of exhaustion hits you just for five seconds, and then passes.

MATT: Your Beacon of Hope lasts for?

TALIESIN: One minute, it's probably gone now.

MATT: So that fades.

LAURA: Yeah, all my stuff is gone, too.

TALIESIN: The beetles probably have returned to their--

MATT: They have.

TALIESIN: All right.

LAURA: Can I start kicking at the hole to try and open it up?

MATT: Sure. You go down before Yasha, or you're already right there pushing Fjord in.

LAURA: I was bracing my back and pushing through with my legs on him, so I'm just going to keep kicking with my feet to try to open the floor.

MATT: Make an additional strength check for me, please.

LAURA: Whoa, geez. That was aggressive.

LIAM: Is there a bucket on this one, or is it just an open hole?

MATT: This one has a bucket, yes.

LIAM: And a rope?

MATT: Well, it's a chain.

LAURA: 14.

MATT: Because one's using, lower themselves down. 14? You push off and kick once. A second time. The third time, as you put all of your weight and your armored feet into it, the stone then crumbles and you end up widening it by another foot and a half or so. From that impact you get caught up and you kick off and then come back and you find yourself in the well again, but it's in a big enough space where it's not an issue, and you're a little small than-- although actually no, your frames are fairly similar though you're shorter, but without issue you manage to push your way through.

MARISHA: I'm going to look around, anybody watching us?

MATT: Make a perception check.

SAM: What's it look down there, too? What do we see?

MATT: I'll get to that in just a minute.

MARISHA: 12.

MATT: Looking around you this time of night, it's hard to tell, you don't see anyone paying major attention other than Umadon, the bugbear that is currently peeking through the window and looks extremely frightened by what's going on.

TRAVIS: Put your face back in the window!

MARISHA: Go to bed! Back to bed!

MATT: Pokes back into the interior.

MARISHA: Back to bed, booboo.

TRAVIS: I can see you looking.

MATT: And then you.

SAM: I'm looking around, what do we see in front of us?

MATT: You can make a perception check as well.

SAM: I'm the worst at this. 16.

MATT: 16, okay. Behind this gap you see a narrow tunnel that seems to snake forward and in a downward motion. Roughly ten to 15 feet wide at maximum, and it curves out of sight about 25 feet ahead of you. It turns and then curves downward and out of the way. You can see this chamber is natural. It seems that this well was buttressed against it in its construction, and the texture of the ground is very moist. Whatever source of this groundwater is nearby seems to, either at one point may have created part of this cavern and carved it through, or was sealed as part of the construction of this well. You do see pieces of rock and natural mineral that long ago did form into hanging stalactites. You can see elements of white and gray and yellowish minerals that have gathered in rings across the base to the tip of these at different stages. Looking at it, because you have darkvision, it doesn't help too much, but a little bit of light seems to poke in from upstairs, you get a point of reference to see that there's moisture on the stones, there's a bit of glistening reflection to them.

SAM: I convey some of that to the rest of the people.

TALIESIN: Heading down as well.

MATT: I mean there's Jester up in the way. It's the hardest for you to get in just from a sheer volume standpoint, but with your friends you do a one two three pull, and they hoist Caduceus into the interior.

TALIESIN: I figure they know we're coming, so Light's not a terrible idea.

TRAVIS: Go for it.

MATT: A little light fills the interior of the chamber and you all can see this probably long forgotten, condensed, but strangely beautiful cavernous chamber, and the tunnel ahead that curves.

SAM: I'll turn invisible and run down the hall.

MATT: Okay. You cast Invisibility on yourself, perfect.

SAM: Stealthily run.

MATT: You guys watch Nott just vanish from sight.

TRAVIS: The shadow fades a while ago.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Should probably head in that direction unless anybody's got anything they want to say.

MARISHA: When I could feel their essence, I don't know, it was like their blood was made of all of the chemicals, or the elements, ever. I think that's where they get their resistances from.

LAURA: They're just resistant to everything?

MARISHA: Elemental and magic and poison, they felt cold but hot at the same time. I don't know. I'm still trying to work this out.

LAURA: No, yeah, I mean you just learned stuff.

LIAM: And Nott just ran up that tunnel.

LAURA: Yeah, let's go after her.

MATT: All right. You guys take this information in, communally form a deep breath, and begin to make your chase after the invisible Nott as the tunnel curves to a downward left motion into the further darkness to wherever this leads below the city of Asarius. That's where we're going to pick up next week.

SAM and LIAM: Bastards.

TRAVIS: Damn it, nothing hits them when they're like that? What the fuck?

SAM: How can we kill them?

TALIESIN: Got to try some ghost stuff.

SAM: Or the power of music.

MATT: ♪ It's the power of love ♪

TALIESIN: We could Rick Roll them. Just saying.

TRAVIS: ♪ Never going to give you up ♪ ♪ Never going to let you down ♪

SAM: Oh boy, guys.

MARISHA: Oh man.

SAM: What a week. What an amazing week.

MATT: This week is crazy.

SAM: Yeah. This is crazy.

TALIESIN: So much.

MATT: Thank you guys, thank you all for your amazing support for this. We're super excited to put this together and bring it to you. Thank you for just being part of this incredible community, for coming and being a part of this game, for making your own games. Once again please take this positive energy that you've used to support us, and going forward, do your best to pay it forward to all the wonderful people in this community that don't have the platform that we do. We'll continue to do the same on our end best we can, but keep an eye out for all these fantastic people with great ideas, great designs, great art, and great things to bring to this space, and help lift them up as well. We love you guys very much. We'll be at Emerald City Comic-Con next week, I forgot to mention this earlier. The 16th and the 17th. It is next week we'll be there. Our panels will be livestreamed, so keep an eye on CritRole.com for all the information as well as the Twitter account for more info on when and how you can see those. A reminder, daylight savings time starts this Sunday. For those of us that deal with that because some countries are still behind the times. Meaning us.

TALIESIN: If you don't know what that is, you should Google it and laugh.

MATT: And laugh that we still do this in places.

MARISHA: Con weekend.

TALIESIN: Aww.

MARISHA: Oh no.

SAM: It's going to be fine.

TALIESIN: It's always fine, isn't it?

LIAM: We're already exhausted, what's the difference?

MARISHA: It's true.

MATT: This week has been a perpetual out-of-body experience. We're still figuring out how to be corporeal. Kind of like the creatures that you just encountered, look at that timing.

TALIESIN: Nice metaphor, by the way.

MATT: That was unintentional, but here we are. Anyway, we love you guys very much. Have a wonderful week and weekend, and is it Thursday yet? Good night.

(cheering)