List of Transcripts

Pre-Show

MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role where a bunch of us nerdy voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. (clamoring)

ALL: We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: Like that. Before we jump into our session for tonight, we do have some quick announcements to get through, beginning with our first sponsor at the evening, "Assassin's Creed Shadows." Sam, why don't you tell us about the game?

SAM: Besides being a really awesome game, "Assassin's Creed Shadows" delivers on two very different player fantasies, the cunning shinobi and the deadly samurai. Yes. Sorry, Liam. (laughter) You get to explore both of these perspectives in the immersive and exciting world of feudal Japan, playing as the game's dual protagonists. Naoe is a shinobi, a ninja using stealth to hide in the shadows and wielding her blade in silence. Yasuke is a samurai, a fighter capable of brawling or thinking his way out of any situache. They're both badasses--

MATT: Says in the back of the game.

SAM: -- but they couldn't be more different from each other.

ROBBIE: Really? Are they that unique?

SAM: Yes, yes. I'll show you. I'll read you out a personality trait and you tell me if it's more Naoe the shinobi or Yasuke the samurai.

ROBBIE: Yes.

SAM: Okay. Number one. This character prefers to behead their enemy.

ROBBIE: Huh, yeah, that's Yasuke.

SAM: (laughs) Nope, that's Naoe. Yasuke prefers chopping the heads off his enemies.

ROBBIE: Isn't that the same thing?

SAM: Not remotely. How about this one? Which character enjoys long walks on the beach at sunset?

ROBBIE: Okay, it sounds nice. So I guess that's Naoe.

SAM: No, that's Yasuke. You see the sand helps get rid of the bloodstains out of his shoes. Okay, one more. Which character likes Chappell Roan?

ROBBIE: Yasuke because she's brash and independent and doesn't give a damn what you think.

SAM: No. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Okay.

SAM: He prefers Olivia Rodrigo because she has a song called "Brutal." Naoe likes Roan because "Red Wine Supernova" reminds her of the color of the Hidden Blade after taking out an enemy.

ROBBIE: Wow, you're right. These are really very two different characters. Personally, I think I'm more like Yasuke.

SAM: Oh. (pretentiously laughs) (laughter)

MATT: Really?

ROBBIE: What? What?

SAM: Robbie, that's such a Naoe thing to say.

ROBBIE: What? (laughter)

ROBBIE: I'm big, I'm brawny, I'm tough, I'm like Yasuke.

SAM: Oh boy. (laughter)

SAM: Bro, the fact that you want to be a Yasuke makes you a Naoe. You know, it's classic Naoe behavior.

MATT: Classic.

SAM: Check it out at assassinscreed.com/shadows. And if you haven't had a chance to check out our "Assassin's Creed Shadows" one-shot yet featuring GM Matthew Mercer, Liam O'Brien, Robbie Draymond, Emily Piggford, and Peter Shinkoda--

MATT: You got it.

SAM: I did? It's now available on Beacon, Twitch, and YouTube. Thank you, Ubisoft and "Assassin's Creed Shadows" for sponsoring this episode, that's it.

TRAVIS: Yes, yes, yes.

MATT: Fantastic. Thank you, Sam.

SAM: It's Ubisoft. (laughter)

MATT: Our next sponsor is NordVPN. (clamoring)

TRAVIS: NordVPN!

MATT: Familiar longtime supporters of the show. Thank you so much. Protect yourself online with Threat Protection Pro. This powerful tool has your back 24/7 stopping you from visiting fake websites, hosting malware, or phishing scams. Plus, if you land on a page known for fraud, you'll get a heads up before trouble strikes you.

TRAVIS: Strikes you.

MATT: It's dangerous out there, folks. It's dangerous to go alone. Take this, NordVPN, which has Threat Protection Pro. It isn't just any software. It's the first and only VPN app certified by AV comparatives as reliable anti-phishing software. That's right, NordVPN leads the pack in online safety. Right now, you can grab an exclusive deal at NordVPN.com/criticalrole and get four extra months for free so try it risk free with NordVPN 30-day money back guarantee. So stay safe and protected. Thank you, NordVPN, for sponsoring this episode. Onto Robbie. You got an announcement, if I recall.

MARISHA: Robbie! (oohing)

ROBBIE: Thank you, guys. First of all, I just want to thank you very much for letting me do this, it's very nice.

MARISHA: Of course. You don't have to.

TRAVIS: Eat shit and die, Daymond.

ROBBIE: So I want to announce that our video game "Date Everything!" is coming out soon. (clamoring)

ROBBIE: A lot of you are in it, but if you haven't heard of it out there, it's a really fun game, super cute. You play this lonely shut-in who has a remote job. They get fired day one, and then they get this gift from a secret admirer called the Dateviator glasses, and then you put them on, and suddenly everything in your house comes to life. It's humanized, super sexy, and romanceable. (oohing)

TALIESIN: Literally everything?

ROBBIE: Literally everything. The toaster, the microwave, the air, even concepts and ideas. Your very own overwhelming sense of existential dread.

TRAVIS: Whoa.

ROBBIE: The game itself, 1.6 million words, 27,000 choices and over 100 characters. ASHLEY: Whoa.

SAM: Where can people get this game, Robbie?

ROBBIE: Thank you, Ad Master. (laughter)

ROBBIE: From Sassy Chap Games and Team17, "Date Everything!" is available to wishlist right now on Steam. Pre-orders for all three major consoles will be available soon. Thank you, my friends. (cheering)

ROBBIE: Thank you.

MARISHA: I'm genuinely so excited to play. I cannot wait. It's going to be so good.

MATT: It looks phenomenal. I had so much fun working on it. Marisha, you have some programing announcements, I think?

MARISHA: I do. You guys, we're reaching the end of our journey here. I know I said that last week, but it's true. So I'm going to say it again and that means there will be no new episode of Critical Role next week. Time to get caught up, bitches. But we have some very big announcements to come in a State of the Role that we'll be hitting next week. It's a lot of big stuff. It's a lot of big stuff. I'm really excited to share. So yeah, check it out. In the meantime, you can check out our latest Fireside Chat with Laura Bailey. (clamoring)

TRAVIS: Oh, she's so gorgeous.

MARISHA: Harp noise, which is available right now. You can also look forward to an all new episode of Narrative Telephone over on Beacon. This one is featuring the Stinky Dragon crew. It's very cute, very fun. Yeah.

MATT: Awesome. Thank you Marisha.

SAM: But can you date it?

MARISHA: Can you date? Well, you can date your telephone. Can you date your telephone?

SAM: Okay.

ROBBIE: Yes, you can.

LAURA: Obviously, you can date your phone.

ROBBIE: Of course.

TRAVIS: Doctors don't recommend it--

ASHLEY: When will you be selling the glasses as part of the--

SAM: Ooh yeah, maybe.

ASHLEY: The Date Everything glasses?

MATT: Can you date Robbie Daymond in the game?

TRAVIS: Ooh.

ROBBIE: Spoiler alert. Yes, you can. (oohing)

MATT: (laughs)

ROBBIE: I asked Megan for permission. Yeah, yeah.

MATT: I've pre-ordered on all consoles. I think that concludes our announcements. So let's jump into--

TRAVIS: No.

MATT: -- tonight's--

TRAVIS: No.

MATT: -- epic episode of--

SAM: Epic episode?

MATT: -- Critical Role. (screaming)

♪ Critical ♪
♪ Critical ♪
♪ It's Thursday ♪
♪ It's Thursday night! ♪

ASHLEY: ♪ One-by-one, we climb until we reach the top. ♪
♪ Two-by-two, we fall. ♪

LAURA: ♪ Will we meet our end or meet our destiny? ♪
♪ Hold your breath and roll! ♪

MATT: How do you want to do this?

ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪
♪ All ye Critters, come join us ♪
♪ It's time to continue our plight ♪
♪ There is magic and mystery ♪
♪ Who knows what will happen? ♪
♪ He might! ♪
♪ But one thing's for sure, ♪
♪ We never give up on the fight! ♪

LIAM: ♪ From the healer ♪
♪ To the renegade ♪

MATT: ♪ We all share the same goal ♪

MATT and TALIESIN: ♪ Adding more allies ♪
♪ Taking more chances ♪

SAM: ♪ Hold your breath and roll ♪

MARISHA: You can certainly try.

ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪
♪ All ye Critters, come join us ♪
♪ It's time to continue our plight ♪
♪ It's Thursday night. ♪
♪ There is magic and mystery ♪
♪ From darkness, our friendship will rise ♪
♪ But one thing's for sure: ♪
♪ We never give up on the fight ♪
♪ Oh, get ready, ♪
♪ Get ready, ♪
♪ It's Thursday night! ♪
(flames whooshing)

Part I

MATT: And welcome back. So last we left off, Bells Hells, after trekking deep into the depths of the red Moon of Ill Omen, Ruidus, you found yourself at the very core. After sending Ludinus' form scattering into some an oily, bubbling substance, you stepped into the central chamber where Imogen of the two Ruidusborn, accepted it within. As you watched it swell and grow to a monstrous size and began to step towards its exit...

TRAVIS and ASHLEY: No! (screaming)

MATT: Just a few temporary hit points. It's fine. (laughter)

MATT: You all rallied around this terrifying entity trying to beseech your friend who seemed beyond your reach. As Imogen, somewhere within the consciousness of Predathos sought to engage with the shreds that remained of the two gods had once swallowed and forgotten history.

LAURA: Tee-hee.

MATT: As you battled it, trying to peel back its hardened carapace and the blue green crystals that armor its torso and body, you began to see opportunities to reach for your friend, where you managed to free one of the two lost entities.

LAURA: By eating it.

MATT: Mm-hmm. More or less. In a moment of crisis and panic, Laudna placed the bequeathed legendary mask of the Matron upon her face, discovered it was a fake crafted by one of your own companions, Braius. Through some rapid finagling, your terrifying Form of Dread--

MARISHA: Finagling.

MATT: -- you placed your face into it, and as such, briefly transported the consciousness of you and the rest of your troop into the Matron's realm to have a discussion with her. There in that stretched moment of time, you came up with a very curious possibility on how to deal with the current Predathos god situation on Exandria. After expressing this possibility in a bit of banter, your moment came to a close and you had to choose two of a number of boons that the Matron could provide. As you stepped back out of her realm and into your conscious selves here back on the moon, you chose the recovery of some of the arcane knowledge that your group had expended, as well as a brief swell of lively experience and temporarily gained two levels. Finishing, destroying this entity as it crumbled its form shattering across the room as innumerable shards of broken Ruidian glass. You had a moment to breathe in silence and process what had happened before the room itself began to shake. As erupting from across the chamber, a massive Kaiju head of Predathos, currently furious, began to burst through the ground where two of its massive claws reached out to claim vengeance and possibly reclaim its vessel to ride out and beyond, to feast upon the quaking gods beyond the Divine Gate. So let's have all of you roll initiative again.

TRAVIS: What do you mean? (screaming)

TRAVIS: What if we want to talk to it? We want to have a conversation.

LIAM: He's going to grab you and jump back--

MATT: You can have a conversation. It's going to be on your turn.

ROBBIE: Can I ask a question?

MATT: Yeah, yeah.

ROBBIE: In that time between level one Predathos getting smoked and now, was there any breathing room or is it instant?

MATT: There was a few moments.

ROBBIE: Since we're rerolling initiative, could I have cast a shorty spell in that amount of time? Like a minute?

MATT: Yeah. A minute? I'll allow a minute.

ROBBIE: Okay.

MATT: What are you casting?

ROBBIE: All right, so yeah, after that spell, I think Dorian was emboldened and confident for the first time, and I'm going to get myself a little touch between the forehead and I'm going to cast, it's not a short spell. I'm going to cast 9th-level Foresight.

SAM: Whoa!

LAURA: 9th-level. Oh.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: The Matron gave it to us.

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: What is that?

MARISHA: It's great. You get a--

MATT: Who are you casting it on?

ROBBIE: Myself.

MATT: Yourself? Okay.

ROBBIE: I'm sorry.

TRAVIS: 9th-level Foresight?

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: You're used to doling out inspiration and taking it where you can, but as the threads of fate themselves still echo in your mind from that brief return to the Matron's realm and coming back into this space, a bit of lost arcana focuses in your mind. As you hold onto that distinct, unique thread, you grasp the markings of this ephemeral spell. As you release it upon yourself, suddenly, at all points, you can see just a few moments into the future. It's like these two different possibilities are overlapping. You have a brief stuttering moment of the moment ahead that's always right beyond your vision as the spell Foresight takes effect. So now you have for the next, how long?

ROBBIE: Eight hours.

MATT: Eight hours.

SAM: Whoa!

MATT: I believe it's initiative on all attacks, ability checks and saving throws, period.

ROBBIE: Advantage on attacks, ability checks, and saving throws.

LIAM: A little bit of dunamantics.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Then other creatures have disadvantage on attack rolls against me.

TRAVIS: Poop, spelled backwards is poop.

ROBBIE: Whoa. (laughter)

LAURA: I see it.

MATT: It's always been there.

LAURA: Wow. Whoa. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Are those hands backwards--

MATT: Upside down, boob. (laughter)

MATT: What were you saying?

TRAVIS: Are the hands backwards or is he doing this?

MATT: It's-- (crushes)

TRAVIS: I see.

MATT: Their current location, they don't seem like they're coming from any particular form. They're emerging from the random places.

TRAVIS: Oh, what?

LAURA: We're not going to see a dick right around here.

TRAVIS: Come on. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Whoa!

TRAVIS: Come on. One a giant--

ASHLEY: I got this one. (laughter)

TRAVIS: A giant blue crystal--

MATT: That would probably break TOS. But nevertheless, 25 to 20.

ROBBIE: Oh, I didn't roll!

MATT: You should do that.

TALIESIN: Yep, yep.

LAURA: Advantage on initiative.

MATT: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Yeah. So a 23. (oohing)

MARISHA: Wowzers.

MATT: 23. All right, we have Dorian up top.

ASHLEY: Dorian's up first. Oh, Dorian.

MATT: Nobody else have above 20?

MARISHA: I have an 19.

LAURA: Listen, I have an 19 as well.

TALIESIN: I also have a 19.

TRAVIS: I have a 21. I forgot to add my initiative. I got over 20, bitches.

MARISHA: Oh!

MARISHA: Okay, so Dorian, Chet.

LAURA: All right.

TRAVIS: Rollies?

LAURA: Rollies. For 19?

MATT: Rollies, let's go.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: Girlfriends Rollies.

TALIESIN: I'm also in Rollies for 19.

MATT: 19 as well?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Three-way Rollies. Let's go.

MARISHA: Three-way Rollies. Oh, we're getting fucking crazy tonight.

LAURA: I got an 18 on my Rollies.

MATT: 18.

MARISHA: 12.

TALIESIN: 13.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: So that was a three-way Rollies?

ASHLEY: Imogen.

LIAM: Wow.

ROBBIE: You were so excited, and then you lost terribly.

MARISHA: I know. I thought I was going to get to go with my girlfriend.

LAURA: Oh, that would've been great.

TALIESIN: Third wheel, third wheel. (laughter)

MARISHA: Get out of here, Ashton!

TALIESIN: You got the soda, she's got the popcorn. I got to be in the middle.

MARISHA: Mom! (laughter)

MATT: I love it.

TRAVIS: Orym had an 18?

LIAM: Yeah. 18 for me.

MATT: Oh, so Imogen.

LIAM: I'm not in the Rollies.

MATT: Oh yeah. So you're at the end of that.

TRAVIS: Dorian, Chet, Imogen, Ashton, Laudna, Orym.

LAURA: That's all high-- That's a triple.

MARISHA: That's high.

LAURA: Yeah. This is a high initiative.

SAM: I got a 12.

LAURA: What'd you roll, Fearne?

ASHLEY: Oh, I got 13.

SAM: Oh boy.

ASHLEY: Sorry. Wait. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Fucking--

MATT: Okay, so.

TRAVIS: We're ready, we're ready.

LIAM: This is going to go well.

MATT: Fearne and then Braius.

LAURA: Fearne and Braius the betrayer.

MATT: It's his full name.

SAM: I'm at the end again. (laughter)

ROBBIE: You are at the end again.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: All righty, friends. As these massive claws go streaking through the air, their fingers reaching, their massive scythe-like claws cracking in the air as it expands. The gargantuan crested head of Predathos roars. (massive roar) Its mouth lights up bright with a glowing blue light and you see a flicker of black energy within, too, that seems to (wobbly whooshes).

MARISHA: Black energy where?

MATT: Within the core of its throat.

ASHLEY: What?!

MARISHA: In his throat?

ROBBIE: Okay.

MATT: All right. Dorian, you're up first, with Chet on deck. Let's go.

ROBBIE: Okay. Where is everybody?

LAURA: Jesus!

MATT: You have Laudna over here, Chetney over here, Braius there. Ash and Fearne are clustered up front with Orym, and then we have, you're up there, and Imogen is over to the right side.

TALIESIN: This is super serious.

MARISHA: What do you think is the over-under? Feels pretty high.

LAURA: Sorry, Ashton!

TALIESIN: God!

LAURA: Get your shit together.

ROBBIE: Okay. I'm going to fly and get right in the middle of this triangle in between Ash. Can I get there with 40 feet?

MATT: 40 feet?

ROBBIE: Like to the ground?

MATT: Do you need a particular radius you're looking at or?

ROBBIE: Yeah, I'm trying to catch everybody 30 feet. Could I?

MATT: Okay, yeah. So you could lower yourself and do that.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

MATT: That's totally doable.

ROBBIE: At an angle?

MATT: About there. You can get everyone within a 30-foot right there.

ROBBIE: Okay. Yeah, cool. That would catch you--

MATT: It'll catch everybody but Chetney and Imogen.

ROBBIE: Perfect. Okay. Yeah.

LIAM: What's going to happen?

ROBBIE: I'm going to I'm going to cast-- I think I can only do it at 5th-level. I'm going to do Mass Cure Wounds for those people.

LAURA: Oh, nice!

ROBBIE: We're starting off.

MATT: Go for it. So it's 5d8 plus your charisma? Or 3d8?

ROBBIE: It's not. It's only three.

MATT: Sorry, go ahead.

ROBBIE: Does your Foresight allow you to see deez?

ROBBIE: What'd you say? (shouts) Oh, nice try. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Nice try.

ASHLEY: Oh ho! You almost--

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: Like a fencer. (laughter)

ROBBIE: I'm going to cast 9th-level Ligma pretty soon. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Oh! Oh! Do you see this?

LIAM: You dodged just in time.

MATT: Nice.

MARISHA: Oh, oh, oh!

ROBBIE: Seven, seven, eight, 14, 22 plus three. 25 healings.

MATT: 25 points of healing.

ALL: Yeah.

SAM: Healing for who?

ROBBIE: For everybody in the--

MATT: Everyone except for Chetney and Imogen.

SAM: Oh, amazing.

ASHLEY: Oh!

ROBBIE: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay, that was needed.

TALIESIN: Oh my god, yay.

TRAVIS: That's what I'm talking about, blue boy.

ROBBIE: I'm out of Bardic so that ends my turn. Yeah. Donezo.

MATT: End of your turn. Okay. All righty.

MARISHA: That's huge.

MATT: Finishing that go. Chetney, you're up.

TRAVIS: Jesus. Yeah, yeah. Let me go. This will be good. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Question.

MATT: Yes?

TRAVIS: I had my Brand of Castigation on the former Gundam, Predathos-Imogen.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Does that transfer to this?

MATT: It transfers to this one.

TRAVIS: It does, just to the head?

MATT: Yeah, the arcana is still bound to it. Even though the form's shattered, you could sense where it goes and Imogen was one that picked up on it. You felt like even though it shattered, it was still ever present. Almost like it's all around you for a minute and once the head emerges, it focuses once more. So the brand would be on this.

TRAVIS: Amazing. It's so fucking high up there. (laughter)

TRAVIS: You know what? It's just a head. I'm going to get close. Could I go 40 feet towards it?

MATT: Sure. It's going to be an athletics check to climb up the side here. If you want to leap up--

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: -- on the wall side.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: I wish I could have been close to you.

TRAVIS: Athletics?

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: Which I have advantage on because I'm a (high-pitched) wolf, motherfuckers!

MATT: You do, indeed.

SAM: I wonder if we can--

TRAVIS: It's a natural 20.

ALL: Whoa.

TRAVIS: For a 30.

MATT: You leap up into the air and clear the majority of it landing right on the cusp of this edge right there.

TRAVIS: Amazing. That's just out of melee, right? Five or 10 out of the way or would you say--

MATT: Do you not want to be in melee?

TRAVIS: I do. I would like--

MATT: Yeah, that is within melee.

TRAVIS: Excellent. Don't you fall. I can see it slowly going. It's slowly doing it.

MATT: I know.

TRAVIS: Can I take two swings? Actually, yeah, I'll take three swings with my claws out. Actually, yeah, I'll take three swings with my claws out.

MATT: Yes, you may.

TRAVIS: And Crimson Rite. Let's do it. First one is a seven... That's a 19 to hit?

MATT: 19 does not hit.

TRAVIS: Okay, good. We're figuring this out. We're figuring this out. Let's roll a little bit higher. That's much better, 17 plus-- It's a 27 to hit?

MATT: 27 does hit.

TRAVIS: Okay. 27 and the last one.

ASHLEY: 27 just hits.

TRAVIS: Dirty 20. (laughter)

MARISHA: Yeah, I know.

MATT: Dirty 20 does not hit.

TRAVIS: Dirty 20 does not hit on the dome.

MARISHA: So somewhere between 21 and 27.

TRAVIS: One hit. Cool. Cool cool. Weiner schnitzel.

SAM: That one's off. (laughter)

LIAM: He's back again. It's not safe.

LAURA: Get out of here.

ASHLEY: Your teef!

LIAM: Go home!

SAM: Chrissy!

ROBBIE: He's back.

SAM: Chrissy, where are you? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Are we just saying the previous Crimson Rite damage still apply? That was a six.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Okay, so 13 plus six. 19 points of slashing damage.

ASHLEY: Nice.

TRAVIS: The Crimson Rite is lightning at that.

MATT: Right. So you strike through it. As you do, your claw hits a density of this crystal matter and is rough around its neck and so you tear through it and it damages it, but none of it quite gets through to the meat of the Predathos' head. This crystal is almost like an armor that holds a specific or absorbs a bit of the damage. Also, in striking the crystal as it shatters around you, there's reverberating hum that always apparates around Predathos in the chamber. You hit it. (shatters) As the crystals shatter, (intensifying whoosh) there's a psychic feedback that blasts off its head and you take three points of psychic damage.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's good to know.

LAURA: Oh. Just from hitting the crystals or from hitting the h--? It's all around the head.

MATT: From it striking towards the head, the crystal seemed to absorb the blow that he dealt it.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: When you impacted the crystals, you took psychic damage.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Only because I don't want to fuck it up because of the temporary level up, I got Brand of the Voracious, which means I get advantage on saving throws from my bloodlust feature. But I also get, on a branded creature, advantage against the branded creature while I'm in my hybrid form. Could I roll one more time?

MATT: Yeah, I'll allow that.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: One more for the top one.

TRAVIS: That's crap.

LAURA: Is it a 20? Is it a 20?

MARISHA: (yells)

MATT: That's a natural 20.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: So the third hit would be a crit. So I'll allow that.

TRAVIS: Okay.

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: So you strike with the scythe, the first one still misses, the second one hits and glides through a bunch of the crystals and reverberates off. You get furious and angry tapping into your woven form and then strike for a crit on the last one.

TRAVIS: So take those 19 hit points back. That was what I did the first time. So this is a seven, 14...

MATT: The 19 still matter because that's still a hit. I'm having you roll both of those. Although, the second one would've been a crit, right?

TRAVIS: Yeah. Because the third one missed. Anyway.

MATT: Okay, so taking those back.

TRAVIS: 28 points this time.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: That'll be it, I believe. Yes.

MATT: So do all the attacks have advantage?

TRAVIS: Oh, they do. So the third one, I get one more.

MATT: You get one more go.

TRAVIS: It's a natural one. So it misses anyway. (laughter)

MATT: Miss, crit, miss. (laughs)

TRAVIS: (yells) Great.

MATT: Awesome. All right, finishing your go. All right, so it is now initiative count 20.

TRAVIS: There's that damn thing again.

MARISHA: So that's still here.

MATT: After you smash into the head, the head, (groaning) the ground seems to tear open and it vanishes beneath.

SAM: Oh no.

LAURA: Oh!

TALIESIN: How you feeling?

MARISHA: We did it.

MATT: This stone.

MARISHA: We won!

TALIESIN: Hey!

ASHLEY: That was so easy!

MATT: Explodes in a shower of dust as the head--

ROBBIE: Oh.

ASHLEY: Oh my god!

ROBBIE: Oh, I don't like it.

SAM: Ah, it's right next to me, ah!

MATT: Right there.

TRAVIS: It's moving independently. Do I get a reaction attack?

MATT: Unfortunately, no because as it burrows through the ground, by the time it leaves your melee, it's underground. So you'd be striking the dirt.

TRAVIS: I also shit myself when it moved in front of me.

MATT: Also true. It appears right before you, Braius.

LAURA: Oh my god. He's going to be able to swallow us.

TRAVIS: No, don't even say that. He probably wasn't thinking it until you said it.

LAURA: Yeah, right.

SAM: My god will protect me.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: (Predathos) That's a good idea.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: Imogen.

LAURA: Huh?

MATT: It's your turn.

LAURA: Oh okay. Oh fuck.

TRAVIS: Save us.

LAURA: This is it. I'm going to how do you want to do this.

MARISHA: Howdy der dee der dis.

LAURA: All right. Thanks, Matron. I'm going to cast Blade of Disaster. So this--

TRAVIS: Oh, good name.

LAURA: -- rift of the red energy where Reilorans were coming through before it opens up, but this time it's sharp and it has its own form, it can move. The rift starts spinning around.

ASHLEY: Cool!

LAURA: And I'm going to do it right above the head.

MATT: All right. Right above the head.

LAURA: Right on the head.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: It's a sharp hole.

MATT: It lands up there. As the blade itself appears, it has elements of the faintest Ruidian glass marbling through it. And your purplish bolts arc up and down it as it spins slowly in the air. So you get to make two attacks with it.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: With your spell attack.

LAURA: Yeah. (tongue waggling) That will be a 23.

MATT: 23 hits.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: So that's 4d12, I think, force damage.

LAURA: Okay. Woo! Okay. 21, 28. 27, 20. Okay, wait. Sorry. 21, 28, 34 points--

SAM: Whoa.

LAURA: -- of force damage.

SAM: Super good roll.

LAURA: That was a very pretty high roll there.

MATT: Sorry. What was that? 38? So 30?

SAM: 34.

MATT: 34, I'm sorry.

LAURA: 34.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Then I do it again!

SAM: Oh!

ASHLEY: Awesome.

MATT: Okay, so first off, the strike hits. The crystals across the head, it carves through, and they shatter from around the sides of it and it cuts into the actual flesh of it. It looks like it's broken open the glass shield that it seems to keep around its neck.

LAURA: Amazing.

MATT: So the damage actually cuts into part of it.

LAURA: Now, I have a question.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: With my transmutable--

LIAM: (sneezes)

ROBBIE: Bless you.

LIAM: Excuse me.

LAURA: -- spell attacks, I can change-- I think it's only with elemental. Just ignore me. I'm going to keep going. So I rolled a 10 plus 14, 24.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: That hits.

MATT: 24 hits.

LAURA: This one was not as good. 13, 15, 20 points of force damage on the second hit.

MATT: 20 points of force damage, great.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Two carvings. This one goes through and starts slicing into it. The force damage, the blade cutting off sections of its outer hide and its heavy, heavy armored outer shell.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: That's your bonus action.

LAURA: That's my bonus action. For my action, I'm going-- Now, I have a question.

MATT: What's your question, Laura?

LAURA: Do the hands make individual saves? If I attack the hand with a spell that's got an intelligence saving throw, can I do that?

MATT: You can. While it is a singular entity and it's based on a similar-- They all share some of the stats, at least, so they would take individual saves and be affected individually.

LAURA: Okay. Okay, I'm going to--

MATT: Mind you, if it's a spell that affects a mind--

LAURA: Uh-huh.

MATT: -- it won't affect the hands, likely.

LAURA: The hands can't take psychic damage. They wouldn't be able to.

MATT: They can. The whole form is still psychically resonant, I'll say, at its size as well, but you couldn't try and charm a hand.

LAURA: Right. (laughs)

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Girl, those nails are busted. (laughter)

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: (sobs) These are gels!

MATT: But I'll say that because of the glass, which is particularly psychically resonant by its build--

MARISHA: That's pretty good, yeah.

LAURA: I can focus on that?

MATT: You could probably focus on that to try and harm the space there, yeah, I'd allow that.

MARISHA: $18 on these acrylics.

TRAVIS: Acrylics?

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

MATT: You should see this bitch try and type.

TRAVIS: Are press-ons still a thing?

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh god, what do I--

MARISHA: Press-ons are actually good.

LAURA: Do I want to do this? I want to try it, just to see how it does. I'm going to try to Mind Sliver the hand.

MATT: The hand in the middle?

LAURA: Sure.

MATT: All right, it's an intelligence saving throw?

LAURA: It is.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Beat the thumb.

MATT: Natural one.

LAURA: Oh, sweet. (oohing)

LAURA: That bitch takes 4d6 psychic damage from me.

MATT: All right.

SAM: The hand does?

LAURA: The hand takes psychic damage.

SAM: Amazing.

TRAVIS: Intelligent hand.

LAURA: That's cocked. Okay, five, seven. Seven plus five is 12.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: 12 points of psychic damage.

MATT: 12 points of psychic damage.

LAURA: But then, and subtract 1d4 from the next saving throw--

LAURA: But then, and subtract 1d4 from the next saving throw--

MATT: That that hand takes.

LAURA: -- that that hand takes before my next turn.

MATT: You got it. Awesome.

SAM: Did it look like, from my perspective, that the psychic damage was effective?

LAURA: Or did it seem like it didn't do--

MATT: From what you can tell, the hand tenses for a moment, and the hands relax and flex for a moment from the impact.

SAM: So it can take psychic damage, okay.

MATT: It seems so.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: Okay, good to know.

MATT: All righty.

SAM: Good to know.

LAURA: Oh god. It's like right--

MATT: Do you want to move, or do you want to stay put?

LAURA: Well, I'm afraid it's going to turn this-- The head's going to turn into-- I'm going to scoot over right here.

MATT: Okay, so you glide over to this spot.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All right, end of your turn, it's going to spend two legendary actions.

TRAVIS: Whoa.

LIAM: Here we go.

MATT: To use one of its special attacks.

TRAVIS: Wait, not yet!

MATT: It's going to use Shriek of Oblivion. So that glowing mass of black energy that's billowing in the throat, as the crystals that do remain around its head also take on that darkened coloration like it had done in the previous phase of this battle, all the crystals go jet black. Its eyes go jet black, and that small little black void at its throat gets larger and larger. All of you in the center of the room feel the temperature begin to drop.

ASHLEY: Brr.

MATT: You hear all sound disappear for a brief second, just quiet. (blast)

MARISHA: (screams)

MATT: This absolute shrieking beam of black energy (screeches) arcs out--

ASHLEY: Oh no! We're in a line!

MATT: -- with this high-pitched tearing noise and carves through everybody right there in the middle.

LAURA: Oh fuck.

TRAVIS: That sound's usually associated with death and stuff.

MATT: I would like--

LIAM: We just got Godzilla-ed.

MARISHA: Is this a spell or an ability? This is a lair action, right?

MATT: This is an ability. I would like Braius, Fearne, and technically it's not going to get Mister, and then also Ashton, Orym--

LIAM: I'm really small and I'm still there--

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: -- in case you can't see me.

MATT: Yeah, Orym. Yeah, it's a line, so it will not get you or Mister, but it will get Ashton, it will get Fearne, it will get Braius. I need you all to make a dexterity saving throw for me, please.

SAM: All right.

ASHLEY: Is this--

LAURA: Whoa, yeah.

TRAVIS: You have my sympathies, because I'm a blood hunter.

ASHLEY: Is this a spell? Is this a--

TALIESIN: Oh, you get a d4. Anybody who's within 10 feet of me still gets a d4, because I haven't dropped that yet.

ASHLEY: Is this a spell or other magical effect, right?

MATT: We'll consider it a magical effect.

ASHLEY: You would?

MATT: Yeah... Yeah.

TALIESIN: Dex save, dex save.

ASHLEY: Okay, so--

SAM: Wait, it's a spell? No.

LAURA: It's a magical effect.

MATT: All right, so Fearne?

ASHLEY: Okay. 23.

MATT: 23, you just manage to dive out of the way, and it whips by with no impact.

LAURA: Whoa! Nice!

SAM: Oh wow.

MARISHA: That evasion?

MATT: Ashton?

TALIESIN: 19.

ASHLEY: No.

LAURA: That was just her save.

LIAM: No, it's just a giant Disintegrate spell.

ASHLEY: Just a good save.

MATT: Ashton, you try and move, and unfortunately, it catches you in the shoulder and almost pulls you in, and you feel yourself tossed and curled in this space. You take 62 points-- (shouting)

MATT: -- of necrotic damage.

ROBBIE: What?

MARISHA: Yeah, it's just a giant Disintegrate.

MATT: Braius, what'd you get?

SAM: 18.

MATT: You also take 62 points of necrotic damage.

LAURA: Oh my god!

TRAVIS: Whoa.

TALIESIN: Cool.

MATT: As both of you get caught up in this beam, it slowly, slowly withers into a small beam and then vanishes. It closes its jaw as black, soot-like energy billows out the side like steam vents, and the two of you feel like you were spiritually ravaged by some terrifying essence of a long dead god.

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

ROBBIE: Okay.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Ouch.

TRAVIS: We might have a smaller class here in a second.

MATT: (laughs) With that, Ashton, you're up, with Laudna on deck.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: Spread out!

LAURA: Don't be in a line!

ROBBIE: But it can teleport.

LAURA: Yeah, but just make triangles. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Triangulation!

SAM: Make complex shapes.

TRAVIS: Circles!

TALIESIN: Okay, okay, okay.

LIAM: Serpentine.

TALIESIN: I don't know if I'm within-- I assume that I'm within striking range of that hand.

MATT: You still have to get into melee with it.

TALIESIN: Okay, but I'm not, I mean, it can't-- If I try and get around it, can it take a swipe?

MATT: You're within its melee range.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: But it is not within yours.

TALIESIN: I'm going to move over to get some advantage on this.

MATT: You're going to shift there to get in opposite melee with Fearne?

TALIESIN: Yeah, so I can move around a little bit more, I want to try to save.

MATT: You got it.

TALIESIN: I'm going to take my first attack.

MATT: Let's go.

TALIESIN: Ow! Ow!

TRAVIS: Kill it!

TALIESIN: Yep, working on it. 17, 32 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

TALIESIN: Something stupid.

TRAVIS: Don't be so disinterested! This is your life!

TALIESIN: I can reroll that one. I don't like that. Ugh, even worse! That's 21 points of damage.

MATT: 21 points of damage with the hammer.

TRAVIS: Yes, yes!

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah. For me, that's fine.

MATT: A heavy crack into its side as the fingers pull back for a second. They grasp in the air near you, but you continue your attack.

TALIESIN: Then, after that first right-handed swing, I'm going to try and come back with a left-handed swing. Oh, that's awful, but it still will probably hit. That's 21 to hit?

MATT: 21 hits, yeah.

TALIESIN: Oh, okay.

MARISHA: The hand? The hand?

TALIESIN: Yeah, the hand.

MARISHA: The hand? 21 hits the hand.

TALIESIN: Oh my god, stop it. Better.

MATT: That's better.

TALIESIN: That's 24 points of damage.

SAM: Nice.

MATT: Nice.

TALIESIN: From that backhand. Then I'm going to, I know we're in a line, but it's worth it. I'm going to roll around so that I've got Fearne and Orym within 10 feet of me so they can maintain the d4.

MATT: It's about 25 feet to get over there.

TALIESIN: So 30, 35, 40, next to Orym.

MATT: 30, 35, 40 will get you about there.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: Which means Orym can get in the radius, but Fearne will just be out of it.

TALIESIN: Oh, is "Ferms" more than 10 feet away?

MATT: Correct.

TALIESIN: Oh.

TRAVIS: "Ferms."

ASHLEY: That's okay.

TALIESIN: Okay, that's fine.

MATT: Orym, because of your passive perception--

SAM: What about her hips?

MATT: -- you notice that as Ashton is hammering into the side of this hand, with each impact, the head seems to recoil slightly with each of the impacts, so there is a connection amongst them.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: You pick up on it.

LAURA: Between the what?

SAM: Mind-body connection.

ASHLEY: There is a connection between--

TALIESIN: Damaging the hand--

LIAM: Hitting the hand, the eye--

TALIESIN: -- damages the whole.

LIAM: -- the face looks ouchie.

MATT: Yeah, a little bit.

LIAM: A little.

LAURA: Got it.

LIAM: He's on the ropes.

MATT: At the end of your turn, Ashton--

LAURA: He's bloodied.

MATT: -- it's going to use its last legendary action.

TALIESIN: Cool!

TRAVIS: What do you mean?

MATT: It's going to activate the hand there in the center.

TALIESIN: Shit.

MATT: One of the limbs of Predathos the Evolving.

TRAVIS: The Evolving?

MATT: It's going to--

ROBBIE: Beg your pardon?

MATT: It's going to take a Meteoric Slam attack, so it's going to make an attack against all creatures within five feet of the arm. Which is Fearne, Ashton, and Orym. So it makes an attack of all creatures within five feet. The hand curls into a massive fist, raises up, and then pulls its fist straight down into the ground like a hammer and blasts this radius right around it, so everyone who's immediately next to it, it's going to hit. So against Fearne, that is 28.

ASHLEY: (laughs) That hits, that hits, that hits.

MATT: Against Orym. Natural one.

ALL: Hey!

MATT: Against Ashton. That's going to be a 31.

LAURA: Oh my lord! (groaning)

TRAVIS: Just above your AC.

ASHLEY: That just hits.

MATT: So Ashton and Fearne both take 26 points of bludgeoning damage.

TALIESIN: Halved, for me.

MATT: Right, and does it take damage for striking you with melee, Fearne? Because of your flame form?

SAM: Some sort of retort.

ASHLEY: Yes, but you take a d8 of--

MATT: Fire damage.

ASHLEY: -- fire damage.

MATT: It also blasts you all five feet back.

SAM: Oh.

TALIESIN: It doesn't blast me five feet back.

ASHLEY: All right, three points of fire damage.

MATT: Okay. Orym doesn't get hit, so it doesn't do that.

TALIESIN: Also, hold on, I can do a thing really quickly.

MATT: It takes five more points of damage.

TALIESIN: Where is it? This is a melee attack, so I'm going to do 1d8 fire damage because why the hell not?

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN: YOLO. That's four points of fire damage.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: And technically, they should be pushed 10 feet away from me, but I don't know how that would work.

MATT: This actually cannot be pushed or have its speed reduced.

TALIESIN: Touché, very fair.

MATT: All righty, with that, finishing Ashton's go, Laudna, you're up, with Orym on deck.

MARISHA: Okay.

ROBBIE: Jeez.

TRAVIS: Win the game.

MARISHA: Win the game.

LAURA: This is it.

ROBBIE: Please?

ASHLEY: Win. The win.

LAURA: This is the move.

MARISHA: I take out my ball bearings. No, I'm just kidding. (laughter)

MATT: Yes! Let's go!

ROBBIE: Do it!

TRAVIS: I was so here for it.

MATT: I mean.

LIAM: Build a pinball table.

TRAVIS: My secret weakness!

MARISHA: I'm going to reach out to this hand that's right in front of me and I'm going to go: Honestly, it's a pleasure to meet you. We've heard so much about you. And I'm going to shake its hand and do Hunger of the Shadow Shard.

ROBBIE: What?

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I'm going to just--

SAM: That's five words. You know it's good.

ROBBIE: It's a good one.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughter)

MARISHA: I'm going to zap a little bit of its essence out of its body.

MATT: Let's go!

MARISHA: See what happens, because I'm kind of curious.

MATT: All right, roll for an attack.

TRAVIS: ♪ Wake me up inside ♪

LAURA, MARISHA, and MATT: ♪ Wake me up ♪

SAM: Evanescence. His essence.

MARISHA: Okay, 24.

MATT: 24 hits.

MARISHA: Fantastic. It's 4d8 plus five. I should have prepped these d8s.

ROBBIE: Everybody went along without knowing the song.

SAM: Uh-huh.

TRAVIS: That's right. They're not anodized ball bearings, but they'll do.

SAM: Imogen: major threat.

MARISHA: Six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11.

LAURA: It's not Imogen; we're on Laudna now.

SAM: Oh, she's Laudna!

MARISHA: 20 points of necrotic damage.

MATT: 20 points of necrotic damage.

MARISHA: I get back a warlock spell slot.

MATT: Yes, you do.

LAURA: Yay!

MATT: So that's your action.

MARISHA: That's my action, and because of the nature of this-- Why did you just reload? I did not ask you to do that.

LAURA: Mine's been doing it nonstop.

MARISHA: Okay, we're fine.

LAURA: Every time I move the page--

MARISHA: I didn't touch it.

LAURA: -- it reloads.

MARISHA: Since the nature of that spell is to suck the essence, the magical essence out of it--

SAM: ♪ Wake me up ♪

MARISHA: -- do I get anything? Do I sense anything from--

MATT: Make an insight check for me.

SAM: Uh-oh.

MARISHA: Okay. Insight check.

SAM: That one's made of chocolate.

MARISHA: Don't look at it, don't look at it. It didn't count. I didn't know what it was.

TRAVIS: Does it have a peanut allergy?

SAM: That's not a hand.

MATT: We'll find out. We'll see how she rolls.

SAM: I painted it.

MARISHA: Ugh.

TRAVIS: It's okay, it's okay! Don't be disgusted!

MARISHA: 11.

MATT: 11?

SAM: Terrible.

MATT: I mean, you don't glean any new information.

ASHLEY: (sneezes)

TALIESIN: Stop it.

MATT: You sense that there is, it is drawing a power source from within itself that it's already done in the previous phase before where its crystals darken. So that's there. That's all you can really ascertain, though.

MARISHA: Okay, that's okay. It was worth a try.

MATT: All right. Do you want to stay put?

MARISHA: Well, no. Is this whole place in dim light?

MATT: I'd say it's fairly dim light, although the crystals glow and the place can change and shift based on the lighting, but it's generally dim light.

MARISHA: I would like to use my brand new Shadow Walk ability that I just got.

MATT: Uh-huh.

MARISHA: Where I can teleport 120 feet--

ASHLEY: Damn.

LAURA: Fuck yes.

MARISHA: -- into a place of dim light and/or shadow.

MATT: As part of your movement, or as a bonus action?

MARISHA: As a bonus action. It's a spooky sorcerer thing.

MATT: Yeah, I mean, there are all manner of sections where there's shadow in the crevices, not in the central battlefield. But any place where there isn't a crystal cluster, you can teleport to.

TRAVIS: Where we're not in a line, preferably.

LAURA: You can shadow right underneath me, baby.

MARISHA: Can I-- (laughter)

SAM: Underneath her dress?

MARISHA: Oh, I know.

LIAM: It's real dark in this crack.

ROBBIE: What does that mean?

MARISHA: I'm all up in that. Can I be--

MATT: d12 inspiration.

MARISHA: -- a little crazy and maybe get up here or something?

TRAVIS: That's crazy talk.

LAURA: I got a shadow for you.

TALIESIN: I love that.

MATT: If you want to, there is, well, from what you can see, up here--

LIAM: On any given day she just crawls out of you.

MATT: -- there would be some shadow, probably.

LAURA: Gross!

MARISHA: Okay, I'll do that.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Then I'm kind of--

ROBBIE: In position.

MATT: You step, you probably move around here to find a bit of shadow on this side.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Then you, poof, apparate over onto this part of the field.

ROBBIE: Yeah!

MARISHA: That was cool!

LIAM: Spooky lady!

MARISHA: Thank you, Matron!

TRAVIS: (yelps)

MARISHA: With that, he's done. Put you right there.

TRAVIS: The story of White Fang.

MATT: All right, that finishes Laudna's go. Orym, you're up.

LIAM: All that rock and stone blasted past me, but I'm so smol that it all missed me. I start to sprint around this way. I'm going to leap up onto Braius' shoulder and kick off and try to spring onto the God-eater's head.

MATT: All right, so roll an acrobatics check for me.

LIAM: That is a 20, dirty 20.

MATT: You leap up onto the top of its crested head. You do leave the attack range of the claw, so it does get an attack of opportunity on you.

LIAM: Absolutely.

MATT: That is going to be a 30.

LIAM: Yeah, that hits a little bit.

TRAVIS: Wow.

MATT: All right. So its ruinous claw strikes towards you.

TRAVIS: Ruinous.

SAM: Oh!

TRAVIS: Silvery Barbs.

SAM: This is as he's passing me, yeah?

MATT: Yep.

SAM: I'm going to use my reaction--

LIAM: Jumped off your shoulder.

SAM: -- to activate Truthbearer, fabled plate of Uther Vendrock. (laughter)

MATT: Yes.

SAM: And impose disadvantage on this attack roll.

MATT: Okay!

LIAM: Ooh!

MATT: That reduces it to a 17.

LIAM: Misses. (cheering)

MATT: Natural four.

ROBBIE: Wow, nice.

MATT: There we go.

SAM: Truthbearer, fabled plate of Uther Vendrock. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Every time, you have to say it.

TALIESIN: You have to say the whole thing every time, or it doesn't work.

MATT: Yeah. Blessed Blade of the Windseeker? Is that what you're saying? All right. Sorry. All right, so that because of Orym's leap onto it, the attack strikes towards you, as you feel the shadow coming over you, Braius steps in and deflects it off with his shield as you dart off of Braius and land on the top of its head crests.

SAM: You can trust me.

LIAM: I hear him shout the name of his armor, and the giant hand slam into the ground. I land on top of this thing's head, hold up a blade blessed by the Wildmother, and begin to slash into its eyes. Here we go.

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: Why did I do advantage? They were both 18. Can we call it 18?

MATT: Sure.

LIAM: All right! (laughter)

ASHLEY: Can we call it?

MATT: If it was any different, I would say reroll, but--

LIAM: Yeah, I can roll again.

LAURA: No, they were both 18.

LIAM: They were both 18.

MATT: I saw it.

LIAM: For realsies.

ASHLEY: Did they touch each other? They affect each other.

LIAM: So that is a 20, that's a 32 to hit. I still have, he's still covered in, Orym's still covered in small little tendrils of vine and dark flowers.

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: Hex is still up. So first slash is 22. One die, Liam! Second, probably going to miss--

MATT: As a reaction--

SAM: Oh!

LIAM: Oh!

ROBBIE: (yells)

MATT: It's going to use Condense Glass. You watch as it psychically pulls glass shards from the nearby ground into it, and it immediately gains 20 temporary hit points.

LAURA: No!

ASHLEY: We need to get rid of these.

LIAM: Okay, the second--

MATT: So first attack, how much damage? It was--

LIAM: It was 22.

MATT: 22, all right, so two points of damage get across to Predathos.

TRAVIS: It did that as a reaction?

MATT: It wipes out the temporary hit points, but you do immediately take, from impacting the crystal shards around it--

LIAM: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: You take eight points of psychic damage.

LIAM: Halved to four because of my potion of invulnerability.

MATT: Truth.

LIAM: Second--

MATT: How long does that potion last for?

LIAM: It's-- I don't remember, I don't remember, I don't remember.

MATT: I'll look it up real fast.

TRAVIS: Definitely an hour, not 10 minutes.

LAURA: Even if it was--

TRAVIS: Definitely no.

LAURA: -- 10 minutes, even if it was a minute, he just took it.

MATT: For one minute.

LAURA: He just took it, though.

MATT: He took it at the end of the last fight, and if I allowed him a minute to cast--

LIAM: I think you gave-- DM giveth, DM taketh away.

ROBBIE: I feel so bad.

MATT: Don't feel bad. It would've probably been the same thing. So the potion of invulnerability, unfortunately, is no longer in effect. (groaning)

LAURA: Aw, what the fuck?

TRAVIS: Are you saying canonically that if Orym dies--

LAURA: He just took it!

TRAVIS: -- it's Robbie's fault? (screaming)

ASHLEY: Oh no! (laughter)

ROBBIE: Don't you do it!

MARISHA: It's the Ashly Burch effect all over--

MATT: It's only eight points of psychic damage.

ROBBIE: No!

LIAM: So far.

MATT: But you've blasted through its briefly condensed glass shield.

LIAM: Sure, sure. Second attack was a 17 and misses.

TRAVIS: You're saying one is more important that the other?

MATT: That does miss, unfortunately, yes.

LIAM: Next up, we have a 21 to hit.

LAURA: He's saying he likes one more.

MATT: 21 just misses.

LIAM: Just misses the head, okay. So the head--

LAURA: What was it?

TALIESIN: 21.

LIAM: 21 missed.

LAURA: Okay, yeah.

LIAM: So that was one slash out of three. I will action surge, since I'm up here.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Same exact roll, so that misses. That's a 22 to hit.

MATT: 22 does hit.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

TALIESIN: 22 is the magic number.

LIAM: 10-- 21 points of damage.

MATT: 21 points of damage.

LIAM: For the last one, as I'm trying to carve out its eye, I keep rolling two. That misses. Very low roll. (groaning)

MATT: Its head is shifting around, and as you're trying to hold on with your shield in one hand and the blade in the other, your couple of strikes go free into the air, not quite hitting it. You bring it down and jam it in a couple times and actually push about a good, solid foot into it, above its head crest, and then pull free, an arc of Predathos' blood spraying through the air as you're barely holding on as it's shifting, riding it. Does that finish your turn?

LIAM: No.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: With my 35 passive perception, I realize that I did almost nothing and say: Ah, I think we're kind of fucked! (laughter)

LIAM: That's the end of my turn.

MATT: Okay, that finishes Orym's go.

LAURA: I go, "Ah!"

ALL: (like Liam) Aah!

MATT: It is now Predathos' turn.

TALIESIN: Fuck!

ROBBIE: Whose?

ASHLEY: It's whose turn?

MATT: Predathos' turn.

ROBBIE and LAURA: After Orym.

SAM: Pre-dath-os.

LAURA: After Orym.

TALIESIN: Yep.

ASHLEY: Predath.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: Doo-doo, doo-doo.

MATT: Predathos is going to first make a special attack. It's going to use Maw of the Red End.

TRAVIS: Stop it!

MARISHA: It's five words.

SAM: Yeah, yeah, it's a good one.

LAURA: Yeah, we're fucked.

MATT: Against you, since you're on top of its head.

LIAM: Yeah, yeah yeah yeah.

MATT: That's going to be a 25 to hit.

LIAM: Yes, sir!

MATT: All right, so you take...

TRAVIS: Yeah, but the acronym is "MOTRE."

ASHLEY: This is going to be bad.

MARISHA: (laughs) I hear there's a good drama school.

TRAVIS: MOTRE.

MARISHA: MOTRE. (laughs)

TRAVIS: I attended MOTRE for two years.

MATT: 38 points of piercing damage.

LIAM: Don't worry, I have my potion of-- Nope, I take 38 points--

ROBBIE: No!

MATT: 38 points of piercing damage as the head, as you're trying to hold on, the head seems to buck upward and kick you off the front of the nose, and you go tumbling into the air. As you're spinning in the air, you look down and see its mouth open up from below, and its teeth come down onto you, and so that piercing damage is all of its razor sharp teeth crushing into your body and piercing your torso. Make a strength saving throw for me, please.

LIAM: That's going to go well.

TRAVIS: You're being bitten by a God-eater.

LIAM: That is a dirty 20.

MATT: Dirty 20 is not enough.

LAURA: Oh my god! (groaning)

MATT: You watch as Orym is devoured.

TRAVIS: (screams) No fucking way! (screaming)

TRAVIS: No way!

MATT: Vanishes inside, and opens its mouth, and the glow from the inside begins to build again, and Orym is nowhere to be seen. Orym, you are now squeezed down into this somewhat rugged--

TRAVIS: No!

MATT: -- calloused-feeling gullet that is glowing all around you. You are surrounded and being restrained by a glowing tube of leather, it feels like.

TALIESIN: I hate this.

LIAM: I still have my bonus action, right?

MATT: You do.

TRAVIS: Shit.

LIAM: I suddenly appear next to Chetney on the hill.

SAM: Whoa!

ROBBIE: (gasps)

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Bonus action Misty Step?

LIAM: Misty Step.

TRAVIS: (relieved sigh)

MATT: You all see, as it opens its mouth, a little burp, and Orym appears, barely holding onto the edge.

TRAVIS: Ah!

ROBBIE: Wow.

LIAM: (grunts) Hey, Pop!

TRAVIS: Ooh!

LAURA: (laughs) That sounds about right.

MATT: It's also going to attempt to activate limbs. On a one, two, three, it'll be one. On a four, five, six, it'll activate two.

MARISHA: Activate limbs?

MATT: On a four, so--

LAURA: He gets two.

SAM: Two more limbs?

LAURA: (screams) Two more limbs!

ROBBIE: What?

SAM: How many limbs does he have?

ROBBIE: What kind of limbs?

LAURA: No!

MARISHA: He already had four limbs.

LAURA: Not a dick!

TRAVIS: Here it comes, Fearnie!

MARISHA: Is it his toesies?

LAURA: He already said it's not going to be his dick.

TRAVIS: Here it comes!

MATT: There's no one over there. That one is going to go ahead and attempt to do another Meteoric Slam.

SAM: Oh, it's not new limbs.

LAURA: Oh, it's not new limbs, it's activating the limbs that are already out?

MATT: For this one, yeah. So that's going to be an attack against-- No, Fearne got pushed out of the range. No, it's going to do ruinous claw against... Hmm. You know what, it's going to do catapulting blow on you.

LAURA: Oh okay.

TRAVIS: Catapulting blow.

MATT: That's going to be a 25 to hit.

MARISHA: All this shit is made up.

TALIESIN: That hits.

MATT: 25 to hit. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Catapulting blow.

ROBBIE: Fundamentally, yeah.

MATT: That's going to be, ooh--

LAURA: This isn't real!

ASHLEY: Tell them!

MARISHA: You're just making shit up.

TRAVIS: We can just put this together.

MATT: You take 25 points of bludgeoning damage.

TALIESIN: Reduced to--

MATT: 12.

TALIESIN: 12.

MATT: I need you to make a strength saving throw for me, please.

LIAM: Ashton is bad.

TALIESIN: I'm real bad. Yeah, I'm not good. Strength saving throw.

MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: All right.

MARISHA: I have very light healing.

TRAVIS: I think you're gray area.

MARISHA: But it's not...

TALIESIN: (grunts) Do not have advantage on this, do I?

MATT: If you're raging, you do.

TALIESIN: Oh, raging I have advantage?

MATT: On any strength saving throws, yeah.

TALIESIN: Oh, thank god. Thank you.

MATT: You only rolled one. What was it?

TALIESIN: I did. It was 18.

MATT: 18, so that-- Roll again for your other one now.

TALIESIN: Yep, for my other one. Not as good. It was 18, 20. Oh god, it was great. 20, 30. Strength save is great.

MATT: Strength save is fine.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, got you. So the hand tries to grab you and throw you, and as it reaches for you, you bear down. Your feet sink somewhat into the ground, and you hold firm, and the hand can't quite tear you from your current position before releasing you. Imogen, as you're backing up, watching the field, suddenly there's a spray of rock to your side as, bursting out of the ground, another--

SAM and LAURA: (scream)

ROBBIE: Whoa!

LAURA: That's a big one!

SAM: That's much bigger!

ROBBIE: Oh, that's spooky.

MARISHA: It's much bigger.

MATT: -- is now reaching out into the air, and is going to attempt to claw into you.

LAURA: But if its arm is that far out, it would have a real hard time to get to the ground where I am.

SAM: He should see an orthopedist.

MATT: You're true, and we'll see how it does.

MARISHA: You're true.

MATT: Well, that's a 20.

ASHLEY: You're true.

LAURA: But imagine. (laughter)

MATT: It's weirdly more flexible than you'd expect.

TRAVIS: ♪ Imagine all the limbs ♪

MATT: Does that hit your AC?

LAURA: That hits me!

MATT: Okay, so you take--

MARISHA: It's a little baby it's made of cartilage.

TRAVIS: ♪ It's got no range elbow down ♪

LAURA: ♪ He's got no kneecaps ♪

MATT: You take 22 points of slashing damage.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: As it strikes down and carves into you, pushing you against the wall, and you feel the warm sting of its claws that cut across your torso and your shoulder.

LAURA: Would that have been considered weapon damage, for my reference?

MATT: That would be--

LAURA: Or is it--

MATT: It's a melee attack.

LAURA: So it would've been considered--

MATT: More or less weapon damage, you would say, yeah.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: God.

MATT: But this attack crits on an 18 plus, so you're lucky he didn't roll that high. So its ruinous claw attack is done from that, and it finishes its go with a... All right, so now it's used Miracle Devourer, you see in the space around the head, the air seems to kind of, that hum, that psychic hum, gets louder and rhythmic. That's going to finish its turn, though. Fearne, you're up, with Braius on deck.

ASHLEY: Hello! Okay!

TRAVIS: This is fucking bonkers.

LIAM: Cycling up.

MARISHA: This is crazy.

ASHLEY: So what I'm going to do is, I'm going to take my Scorching Ray shots at 4th-level and I'm going to shoot it at the crystal all around his head.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Try to take out all that crystal.

TRAVIS: Are you sure you can't Polymorph into a giant crystal arm or some shit?

MATT: You are technically in melee range with this one.

MARISHA: Just freak them out.

LAURA: I have a question.

ASHLEY: Well, I was pushed back.

TRAVIS: Just be like--

MATT: You're within five feet, but let me check one thing real fast.

LAURA: Would this arm still have the same melee distance as the other arms, or because it's really big, does it have 30--

MATT: That one has a longer reach.

LAURA: (screams)

TRAVIS: That one looks pretty--

LIAM: This arm goes up to 11.

MATT: That one has a 30-foot reach.

TRAVIS: 30-foot melee?

MATT: Yep.

TALIESIN: Fuck.

LAURA: But it-- (laughter)

TRAVIS: Can't touch the base.

LAURA: I was on his armpit.

TRAVIS: Those are some long nails, though.

LAURA: He'd have a hard time getting--

ASHLEY: Those are some long nails. The nails, technically, is the height--

LAURA: The nails alone would've been able to--

MATT: If you're within five feet of a hostile target. So no, you're fine.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you're right.

MATT: Yeah, it's not its attack range.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: It's five feet. I just had to remind myself of that rule.

ASHLEY: Okay. All right, Scorching Ray at his--

MATT: Against the head?

ASHLEY: At the head. All the crystal around the head.

MATT: At what level?

ASHLEY: At 4th.

MATT: 4th-level, okay, so that's going to be five Scorching Rays, I think.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yes. Okay, so let's start us off here. So we've got--

LAURA: Oh balls, we should've given ourself--

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: -- one of those other boons.

MARISHA: Anything else.

LAURA: Anything else.

MARISHA: Buyer's regret.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: 23?

MATT: 23 hits.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: All right, four more.

ASHLEY: That's higher. Yeah.

MATT: So that's another hit.

ASHLEY: That's 24.

MATT: All righty. Three more.

ASHLEY: Third. Natural 20.

TRAVIS: Let's go, Fearnie!

MATT: All right, the middle finger is the crit.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

LAURA: But the other two hit still?

MATT: She's hit with all of them so far.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: That hits for sure.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Whoa.

ASHLEY: 26.

MATT: All righty.

ASHLEY: That hits.

SAM: That's even better.

ASHLEY: That's even better.

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

MATT: All right, you, after all this impact, watching your friends get thrown about, watching Orym get swallowed and just barely escaping, the massive arm breaking through, the intensity of this battlefield is anxiety-inducing, but you, tapping into both the Ruidusborn within you, the fey strength that you have, and the flaming titan that exists--

ASHLEY: Concentrating so hard.

MATT: -- its echoes within your spirit, you hunker down and release five massive, rapid-fire columns of arcane fire towards the head. So roll 8d6, and then roll 2d6 and double that.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: So roll 8d6 first.

ASHLEY: 8d6, okay, so that's--

TRAVIS: Legible dice.

ASHLEY: I am, I am, I promise. Okay, four, five, six, seven, eight. Okay, I'm not using any of my teeth.

TALIESIN: Fuck it up, fuck it up, fuck it up.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: Okay, okay.

SAM: No, it's good. Good range.

ASHLEY: Okay, so.

TALIESIN: Motherfucker.

ASHLEY: 16, 20. 28.

LIAM: And that's low.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

ASHLEY: 27.

TALIESIN: I'm trying to figure it out, emergency plan.

ASHLEY: Okay, 30.

LAURA: Wait.

MATT: Okay, 30 points of fire damage.

ASHLEY: Right? Did I do that right?

SAM: Why'd you say 28 and then 27?

LAURA: Yeah, no, I think you missed, 10, 20--

ASHLEY: Wait, that's 16, 20, 24.

TALIESIN: Maybe, but maybe not.

ASHLEY: 27, 29.

LAURA: 27? Oh yeah, that's 29.

SAM: 29.

LAURA: 30, okay.

ASHLEY: 30 points of damage.

MATT: 30 points of fire damage. Roll 2d6 and then double that.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: From the crit that you hit with. Baby teeth dice.

LAURA: Don't ever use the teeth!

ASHLEY: I know.

TRAVIS: You said you weren't going to use them!

ASHLEY: So four--

MATT: Doubled to eight?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: By the way, these are all sugar cubes.

MATT: 38 points of damage and an additional d6 from your form, and additional d6--

ASHLEY: A d8 from my form.

MATT: Sorry, a d8 from your form.

ASHLEY: And a d8 from Mister.

MATT: You got it.

ASHLEY: So that's four points of damage.

MATT: Total?

ASHLEY: Total.

MATT: All right, so a total of 42 points of fire damage on this round. (rapid impacts) Massive hits, flames curling up it. (groaning)

LAURA: No big deal.

SAM: It was so hot, it shrunk your shirt, Laura.

LAURA: I know, it shrunk it so much.

ASHLEY: Whoa, whoa, whoa! (laughter)

LAURA: What happened? All this excessive heat!

TRAVIS: That's why I don't do her laundry.

LAURA: Can't pull my sleeves down.

MATT: Awesome, so that's your action on your turn. You have a bonus and movement.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

SAM: You're an adult.

ASHLEY: So for movement-- (growls)

MATT: You can move anywhere within 15 feet of that hand without escaping its combat range. However, you are also within the attack range of the massive hand.

ASHLEY: I know, I'm in a bad spot. I want to move out of its, if it's--

MATT: Here?

ASHLEY: Maybe to the, yeah--

MATT: That's about as far as you can get without leaving that hand's melee.

ASHLEY: Okay. All right. I will do that, and then--

MATT: You are technically-- That would move you out of the melee of that hand.

LAURA: Oh, wait. He did damage--

SAM: Didn't that hand already use its reaction, or that was before its turn? Eh, it's fine.

MATT: That's true.

SAM: I don't actually know.

LAURA: No, it didn't mark it.

MATT: They each have their own independent reactions.

SAM: Of course they do.

ASHLEY: Okay, and then Mister's going to throw some shit.

MATT: Go for it, Mister.

ROBBIE: Do it, Mister Mister!

LAURA: I'll ask Dani.

ASHLEY: That is...

SAM: ♪ Hey soul sister ♪

ASHLEY: That's 16. Nice.

MARISHA: Getting out my character sheet.

MATT: 16 plus?

ASHLEY: 28.

MATT: 28? That's a hit.

LIAM: Save us, magic monkey.

SAM: She's begging me to inspire her.

ASHLEY: Okay, so that's--

MATT: He's like, (hoots) Balls it up, gets ready.

ASHLEY: It'll be--

MATT: Burning up the side. If a massive kaiju could look incredulous at being shat on from a monkey, it would be.

SAM: Nice.

ASHLEY: Wait, it's 2d6. One second.

SAM: ♪ (mimics music) ♪

ASHLEY: That will be nine points of damage.

MATT: All righty, another nine points of damage. All righty. That's 51 points of damage in that round, Fearne. Not too bad.

ASHLEY: Nice, nice!

LAURA: Hey!

ROBBIE: Nice!

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: Nice!

SAM: That's my girlfriend! (laughter)

MATT: That finishes Fearne's go. Braius, you're up.

TRAVIS: What?

SAM: Sorry.

MATT: With Dorian on deck.

SAM: Oh, it's my turn. Oh god. I don't know.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: I'm going to hit it. Bonus action, I'll cast Staggering Strike at 4th ♪ leeeeeh ♪

MATT: Actually, you know what, hold that. At the end of Fearne's turn, it's going to go ahead--

TRAVIS: No, don't, change your mind! Change your mind!

ROBBIE: What's that? Hold that thought.

TRAVIS: No, no, no!

MATT: At the end of Fearne's turn, it's going to--

TRAVIS: Be calm!

MATT: -- spend one of its legendary actions to use Telekinetic Vacuum.

TRAVIS: What is that for?

LAURA: It's such a mess in here.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: So dusty.

MATT: Let's see. Orym.

LIAM: Yes?

MATT: It's frustrated that you got away.

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: No, you know what? The one that really got away and vanished is Laudna. Laudna, make a strength save for me.

MARISHA: No!

LAURA: No!

SAM: How does it know where Laudna is? Does it have tremorsense?

ROBBIE: Dig deep, dig deep.

TRAVIS: ♪ I just died in your arms tonight ♪

ROBBIE: Dig deep!

MARISHA: You guys know--

ROBBIE: Dig deep!

LAURA: Even if she rolls it, it's not-- Even with a crit, that's the only way.

MARISHA: That's the only way.

ROBBIE: Do it. Then just do it.

MARISHA: It's on the Beau dice. Crit! (screaming)

ROBBIE: Let's go!

MATT: Holy shit!

MARISHA: (screams)

MATT: I can't-- (laughter)

MATT: You--

TRAVIS: Fist up! Fist up!

MATT: I can't believe that.

MARISHA: That Beau dice fucking rocks! I'm telling you, it always--

MATT: You guys Babe Ruthing this shit is crazy!

LIAM: Everybody start yelling at your dice!

ASHLEY: Come on!

TRAVIS: (cackles)

ROBBIE: Let's go!

MATT: So that buzzing sensation in the air suddenly gets oppressively--

MARISHA: Oh my god!

MATT: -- angry around you, Laudna, and you feel this energy is starting to pull you from the rock. Your feet start to lift off.

LAURA: Oh!

MATT: You grab and buckle down, the shadow in your body extending into shadow claws as you dig them into the nearby rock and you hunker down until eventually it fades, no effect.

MARISHA: (relieved sigh)

MATT: Braius, continue your turn.

SAM: Okay, I will activate Staggering Smite.

MATT: I can't believe that shit.

SAM: I will shout at the beast: My god will reward me when I smite you! I will swing big, and I will roll a-- Jesus, what is that?

ROBBIE: 17. No, that one?

SAM: No, that one.

ROBBIE: Oh, that's a seven.

SAM: That's terrible. Wait, but I have pluses. That's a 20. That doesn't hit, does it?

MATT: Against the head?

SAM: Against the head.

MATT: That does not hit.

SAM: Okay.

LIAM: I think it's 22.

SAM: I will roll again. I will attack again.

MATT: You're moving into melee with it?

SAM: Yes, yes.

TRAVIS: Melee!

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Second attack. Much better. ♪ That's a natural 20 ♪

MATT: Dang! Okay!

ROBBIE: What?

SAM: Yes.

MATT: Okay!

SAM: So that hits, so that is, oh boy, oh god, too much math.

TRAVIS: Here we go.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Let's go!

SAM: I double everything? No, not the Smite.

LAURA: Anything you roll.

MATT: No, you double--

LIAM: Any dice you roll.

MATT: So the spell does how much extra damage?

SAM: The spell that I cast is a 4th-level spell.

MATT: Uh-huh.

SAM: It does an extra 4d6 damage.

MATT: All right, so roll your weapon damage.

SAM: Okay, weapon damage.

MATT: Including your general divine special d8 or whatever.

SAM: Yes, so weapon damage is just 11 points.

MATT: So 11 points on the dice.

SAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: All right, roll your 4d6.

SAM: 15.

MATT: Okay, so that's 26. All right, so now roll-- Are you smiting as well, or--

SAM: I can also Divine Smite, right?

MATT: Yes, you can.

SAM: Yes, I only have a level three spot left. Level three spots left, right? Is that right? So it has to be bigger.

LIAM: I will use Divine Smite.

SAM: Ah! Where's my spells? Nope, I'm out of threes. Oh, no, I have a three! Yes, so I'll use three, so that's 3d8. That's these two, plus--

LAURA: He's giving off Jeff Goldblum energy.

MATT: I believe it's 2d8 for the first level, and then it's additional one forward, right? So it would be 4d8?

SAM: You're totally right.

LIAM: d8s.

SAM: That's terrible. Nine points of Divine Smite.

MATT: Okay, so it's 26, goes to 35, doubled to 70, plus what's your weapon damage bonus?

SAM: Seven.

MATT: So 77 points of damage.

LAURA: I think that was--

TRAVIS: Whoa!

LAURA: -- actually pretty awesome.

LIAM: Pretty good.

TALIESIN: That'll do.

ASHLEY: Nice. Nice.

SAM: Because I hit him with the Staggering Smite, he must make a wisdom saving throw.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: On a failed save of wisdom 19, bad things will be.

MATT: 23.

ASHLEY: Boo.

MATT: Sorry. Take your measly 77 points of damage.

SAM: Okay. Okay. Okay. (laughter)

ROBBIE: That's crazy.

MATT: With that heavy strike, the first one as it swings wide, the head pulls back and you catch the edges of crystal and your Poison Pen flickers off the crystals as you angrily spin back. As you do, you feel the surge of power granted you by your deity, that vengeful fury of the Hells below. You channel them into yourself. Please describe to me the color of your smite, if you don't mind.

SAM: Oh. It's usually black ichor that sprays all over the place, but in my furious rage fueled by ♪ Asmodeus ♪ (laughter)

SAM: Flecks of red start to dance in the smite. In fact, my black and white body starts to take on a red sheen.

MARISHA: Oh!

LAURA: Ooh!

SAM: You see me now less as a cow man and more as a devil man.

MARISHA: Oh!

SAM: Because the white and gray fur is starting to become red.

LAURA and ASHLEY: Ooh.

SAM: Red with rage.

MARISHA: ♪ Amber is the color ♪

LAURA: Is that why you don't have a cow face?

MARISHA: ♪ Of your energy ♪

SAM: That's right.

MATT: All right, does that finish your turn?

SAM: Yes.

ASHLEY: Also, I--

SAM: Oh no, I'm going to move.

MATT: Okay, you still have--

LAURA: I'm going to moo-ve,

MATT: -- 20 more feet of movement if you want to.

SAM: I'm going to stay within melee with it, but rock to the right.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: Okay.

SAM: (moos) Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop. (laughs)

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: You will leave the melee range of the hand.

SAM: Okay. Bring it.

MATT: Correct. Because that one did-- No, that one already took a--

LIAM: Is it a reaction?

MATT: That one took a reaction on you.

LIAM: It used its reaction on me.

MATT: So it's not. So you can move aside, you're right. I was like, no, that one already took one. Okay, that finishes your go, Braius?

SAM: That's it.

MATT: Dorian, you're up, with Chetney on deck.

ASHLEY: Can you add two more points of damage for Mister?

SAM: How do you want to do this?

MATT: You got it.

ASHLEY: For his flame seed. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Because I added plus four, but it's a plus six.

MARISHA: Monkey gets the--

MATT: No, that's great.

MARISHA: -- final killing blow-- (laughter)

MARISHA: -- on the god.

MATT: Dorian, you're up, with Chetney on deck.

TRAVIS: Thank you.

ROBBIE: Yeah, I think Dorian, after watching Braius absolutely kicking ass and everybody's doing all this, he has this tiny moment of feeling fearful and incompetent again.

MARISHA and LAURA: No.

ROBBIE: I know, I know.

LAURA: You've got Foresight.

TRAVIS: That's true. It's true.

ROBBIE: As he's floating in the air, but he closes his eyes and says: I am Brontë Wyvernwind, only son of the Silken Squall. Then he thinks of his friend Chetney, as he looks at him across the thing, teasing him forever about being royalty and goes: Your prince. Then as I do, at seventh, ninth, 8th-level!

MARISHA: Whoa!

ROBBIE: I'm just kidding.

SAM: 798th-level!

ROBBIE: At 8th-level, I'll cast Crown of Stars.

TRAVIS: Oh!

MATT: Okay.

ROBBIE: These little nine motes--

LAURA: That's a good one. That's a good one.

ROBBIE: -- will pop up around his head.

MARISHA: Yes!

ASHLEY: Whoa!

ROBBIE: For my action--

MATT: Is it seven motes? Or is it nine?

ROBBIE: I'm going to cast at 8th-level, which I get two more motes.

MATT: Okay. Okay, let's go.

ROBBIE: So I'll have nine motes.

TRAVIS: Get it!

MATT: You got it. Nine motes.

ROBBIE: Then for my bonus--

LAURA: So many motes.

SAM: (laughs)

ROBBIE: (laughs)

ASHLEY: So many motes!

ROBBIE: Then for my bonus action--

LAURA: ♪ Too many motes ♪

ROBBIE: -- I'll look over at Ashton looking rough as heck and I'll cast Healing Word at 4th-level as a bonus action. Can I do that if it's beyond 1st-level?

MATT: That's two spells you've cast on the same turn, unfortunately.

ROBBIE: Even if it's at the same--

LAURA: Even if it's a bonus.

ROBBIE: The same action and bonus action?

MATT: Correct. Yeah.

ROBBIE: I can't cast it at all. I won't do that.

LAURA: Yeah, you can only do a cantrip--

TALIESIN: It's okay.

LAURA: -- in addition to a spell.

ROBBIE: Okay. I want to help you so bad.

TALIESIN: I know, it's--

LAURA: Do you have any healing potions?

TALIESIN: I don't. Actually--

SAM: There's two in front of him.

LAURA: I think you do.

TALIESIN: I think I have two. Yeah, I do have two. These will be adorable.

ROBBIE: Okay. So instead I'll use my bonus action--

MARISHA: I'm out of healing potions.

ROBBIE: -- to send one of those motes shooting at the hand that Ashton is engaged with then.

MATT: The hand right there?

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: Okay. All right, so roll an attack.

ROBBIE: Yeah. It would be, ooh plus nine. First time I've done this. Let's see. Spell attack plus nine. Aw, it's not going to do it. Not going to do it. 19. I know. Not quite. I know.

MATT: 19 just fails on the hand, unfortunately.

MARISHA: With advantage? With advantage?

ROBBIE: Oh, wait! Why is it advantage?

LAURA: Why, why, why?

ROBBIE: I do get advantage because--

MATT: Yeah, all of your attacks get advantage.

ROBBIE: (jumbled excitement)

LAURA: Because of your Foresight!

ROBBIE: I can see the future! Please be good.

MARISHA: That's better. That's good. That's good!

ROBBIE: That's better.

SAM: (whispers) 24.

ROBBIE: 24.

MATT: 24 hits.

ASHLEY: Yes, it does!

ROBBIE: Yay!

TRAVIS: Let's go!

ROBBIE: Okay, so that's--

LAURA: Your spell came in handy.

ROBBIE: It really did. Let's see.

MARISHA: Use that 9th-level spell.

ROBBIE: 15, and I get two of them. Not great, 17. 17 points of radiant damage. That will finish my turn.

MATT: As it strikes and impacts, that hand is looking like it's starting to sustain some damage, and of course part of that damage causes the head to wince.

SAM: Nice.

MATT: All right.

ROBBIE: Okay.

MATT: Do you want to stay put?

ROBBIE: Yeah, I like my position in the middle there.

MATT: Okay, you got it. So finishing your go, Chetney, you're up.

TRAVIS: (waggles tongue) I'm going to pat Orym on the head and go: (deeply) We're back in the fight! I'll try to jump and slide down the embankment as I head down towards the head.

MATT: Coming from behind? Across from Braius?

TRAVIS: Yeah, exactly. Seeing where Braius moved to, I'm going to flank.

MATT: You got it.

TRAVIS: With my bonus action, can I cast Bane?

SAM: (Bane) Oh!

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: No, that's an action. Ignore me. I'm not going to do that.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: I'm going to take two swings with Turmoil actually instead.

MATT: Let's go.

TRAVIS: These are with advantage. That's a 28 to hit.

MATT: 28 hits.

TRAVIS: The second one is... Ooh, it's so close! But not quite. 29 to hit.

SAM: But that's awesome.

TRAVIS: Yes. They both hit.

MATT: As a reaction, it's going to use Condense Glass to gain 20 temporary hit points since it's had its turn since. So the glass fills up around it as you go sliding in to strike it, and you watch the crystals build up around its space.

TRAVIS: You son of bitch. I will use a curse against you for that. I swear!

SAM: You son of a mother's goat.

TRAVIS: That is-- Oh nice. Double sixes.

MARISHA: That was a reaction that it did that with?

MATT: Oh, you know what? Actually, hold on a second.

TRAVIS: 18, 24--

MATT: I'm going to retroactively pull that back a little bit. Okay.

SAM: ♪ (battle music) ♪

LAURA: So he didn't get the 20?

MATT: No, he did do it as well. At the top of his turn, he actually regenerated 50 temporary hit points.

SAM: Oh shit.

MATT: At the top of his turn. But Fearne burned through the majority of that.

LAURA: Oh, that's good.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: So yeah, so you tore through it and busted through and the damage will still come through. But as a note, you're watching at the top of its turn, it regenerates all those crystals and gives an additional shield.

LAURA: Fuck!

SAM: We have things that can make him not do that?

MATT: So it still gets the 20 at this time

TRAVIS: 12--

MARISHA: I do, I do, I do, I do.

TRAVIS: -- 16 plus six is 22. The first one did 29 points of damage.

MATT: That breaks through the temporary hit points, leaving nine to go over.

TRAVIS: Then 22 on the second strike, because of sneak attack and the Crimson Rite and stuff.

MATT: Right. Now this is Turmoil, does it do additional thunder damage?

TRAVIS: It does. Thank you! 1d8 each time. That was the whole point of doing it, I wanted to see what the thunder did. So that's one point of thunder damage.

MARISHA: ♪ Thunder ♪

TRAVIS: And eight points of thunder damage! So nine.

MATT: So nine to 18. All righty.

TRAVIS: Got to get back on that thunder horse.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

TRAVIS: I don't know what that means.

MATT: Also, great song.

TRAVIS: Yes. "Thunderhorse."

MATT: ♪ Thunderhorse ♪

TRAVIS: (laughs) For my bonus action, I'm going to use a blood curse.

MATT: Metalocalypse.

LAURA: That's my inspo.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Blood Curse of Bloated Agony on the head.

MATT: Okay. All right.

TRAVIS: "For the duration, the creature has disadvantage on strength and dex checks and takes 1d8 necrotic damage if it takes more than one attack on its turn."

MATT: Okay. Are you amplifying it or not?

TRAVIS: No.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Just the one.

MATT: All right, cool. Got it. All right, does that finish you go?

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: All right, that brings us to initiative count 20.

LAURA: No!

LIAM: (groans)

MATT: It's going to go ahead and--

ASHLEY: Initiative count 20?

MATT: Let's see here if it can move.

SAM: That just started a few games ago, and I hate it. It's a three. Only going to move one of them. It's going to go ahead and--

TRAVIS: So close.

MATT: It's going to hold there. This one (shifting) is going to appear and shift over to there. is going to appear and shift over to there.

LIAM: Does it drag through the ground or does it pull down into the ground and--

MATT: It pulls down into the ground--

LIAM: -- split up somewhere else?

MATT: -- and then bursts through again.

ASHLEY: Oh god.

LAURA: Right next to you.

MATT: Bursting on both sides of Fearne right now. Both the hands are curling up.

LAURA: Oh god, Fearne!

SAM: Well, she's very attractive.

MATT: All right, that finishes--

LAURA: Even Predathos wants to be with you.

MATT: Does that one want to move? No, that one's going to stay.

ASHLEY: I just don't know what to--

MATT: They're going to stay. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Yeah, that's a little much.

LAURA: (laughs) Giant hands.

MATT: At the end of initiative count 20 and technically end of Chetney's turn it's going to use its other two legendary actions.

TRAVIS: No, no.

MARISHA: I've seen this hentai.

TRAVIS: No, no, no.

MARISHA and ROBBIE: Yeah.

MATT: Screech of the Ravaged Mind.

TRAVIS: Screech of the Ravaged Mind?!

ASHLEY: No!

SAM: We're still fine. We're okay. We're okay.

LAURA: Fine, fine, fine.

MATT: As the center of Predathos' head tucks in, its teeth clench and you can hear this horrible grinding scraping sound as its whole jaw pushes and its eyes close You watch as the crystals (growing vibration) get brighter and brighter until the entire room gets extremely bright in the area, long shadows being cast from all the nearby rocks and crystals before it opens its mouth and no sound comes out, but all of you feel this piercing sound in your mind.

ASHLEY: We're fine.

MATT: Everyone within 30 feet of the head has to make a constitution saving throw.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: 30 feet would be--

MARISHA: Everybody gets hit.

MATT: -- Chetney. Technically, Laudna is just out of it.

MARISHA: Oh, phew!

MATT: Technically, so is Orym. But Braius, Fearne--

LAURA: Mister.

MATT: Oh, you're right out of the range, Dorian. Mister is just out of range, too, but Fearne's within range.

LAURA: Mister's out of range? Yeah!

ASHLEY: Okay. All right.

MATT: So it would be Fearne, Braius, and Ashton. Wait, let me see if Ashton--

ASHLEY: Oh wait, I get advantage on--

MATT: Ashton is within 30 feet. Yeah, just barely.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: So constitution saving throw.

TALIESIN: All right.

TRAVIS: Advantage on that because of Brand of Castigation. 22.

MATT: 22.

TALIESIN: Do not have advantage on con, if I recall.

MATT: That is just enough to succeed.

TRAVIS: Oh Jesus. Just enough?

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: No advantage on con, if I recall. No.

MATT: So that would be 24 points of psychic damage reduced to half.

TRAVIS: 12.

LAURA and ASHLEY: (laugh)

TRAVIS: Oh jeez.

TALIESIN: 25.

MATT: 25 is a success, so you take 12 points of psychic damage.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: Fearne?

TALIESIN: Woo!

ASHLEY: Four. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Really? (laughs)

MATT: Did I say 25 was it?

ROBBIE: Four.

MATT: 24. 24 points of psychic damage.

TRAVIS: Hard to get to.

LAURA: You have Evasion.

TALIESIN: Single digits, baby.

ASHLEY: Do I want to wait to use it?

TRAVIS: You're at singles?

LAURA: You can use it once per turn!

TRAVIS: Ashton's in singles. What?

ASHLEY: But maybe it'll be something bigger. Because one of those ones was 50 something.

LIAM: We're about to have a barber down.

TRAVIS: Barbara Down.

LAURA: Listen.

ASHLEY: Evasion.

TALIESIN: Or at least barber iffy at the very least.

ASHLEY: I'm going to use Evasion.

MATT: Well, Evasion has to be against an attack. This is a blast, I think.

LAURA: Oh.

ASHLEY: I wanted to let you know that I have it now.

MATT: Well, it's not a spell. Hold on.

ASHLEY: So I can use it at some point.

LIAM: Evasion is dexterity saves, specifically.

MATT: Oh sorry. Which this is a constitution save.

LIAM: Uncanny Dodge is against--

MATT: Uncanny Dodge is what you're thinking.

LAURA: Oh.

LIAM: -- melee or--

MATT: So Uncanny Dodge is on a melee attack. Sorry, I got that mixed up.

LAURA: Don't you have Uncanny Dodge, too, though?

ASHLEY: Like I know. (laughs)

LIAM: But it's for dex saves specifically.

MATT: You have both. Correct.

LAURA: Can you do Uncanny Dodge?

ASHLEY: Yeah, but so then I take half damage--

LIAM: Yeah.

ASHLEY: -- if I do Uncanny-- But I wonder if I should save it.

MARISHA: I will--

SAM: I mean--

LAURA: You are so low.

MATT: You can't use it against this because it's a radial blast.

LIAM: It's got to be a physical attack for Uncanny.

MATT: A physical attack against you is what you get to Uncanny Dodge.

LAURA: Oh, you can't do any of it.

ASHLEY: Okay. 24.

LAURA: We're fine.

ASHLEY: It's fine. It's fine!

LIAM: You just die.

MATT: 24 points of psychic damage.

ASHLEY: It's fine.

LIAM: You just die.

MATT: All right, with that--

LAURA: I was trying to think of--

SAM: Oh, and I got a 25 on my save.

ASHLEY: No, no, no. You're right. You're right. It's okay.

MATT: 25 on yours? So you also take 12 points of psychic damage.

SAM: 12 points okay.

LAURA: Don't save it.

MATT: All right, Imogen.

LAURA: You're low.

ASHLEY: I won't save it.

LAURA: What?

MATT: It's your turn, with Ashton on deck.

ASHLEY: Oh shit. Okay.

LAURA: Okay. Okay. Okay. Look, what I'm going to do. I'm going to use my movement and I'm going to come around here. (waggles tongue) ♪ Right here on that ♪ side of his hand ♪ ♪ Right here, like so ♪

MATT: Uh-huh.

LAURA: ♪ I'm going to line up these three motherfuckers ♪

MARISHA: Come on, bish.

ROBBIE: Ooh!

ASHLEY: Yeah, that's a good shot.

LAURA: At 8th-level.

LIAM: Triangles.

LAURA: I'm going to transmute my lightning and shoot out a blast of thunder damage.

MATT: Oh.

MARISHA: ♪ Thunder ♪

LAURA: Thunder! Thunder!

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Thunderbolt.

MATT: All right. Oh, quick note. You weren't concentrating on any spells, right?

SAM: I was. I was.

ASHLEY: No. No.

MATT: You were? What were you concentrating on?

SAM: My Smite stays.

MATT: Oh, Smite? It stays?

SAM: It stays.

MATT: Well, make a constitution saving throw.

SAM: That's an 11.

MATT: 11.

SAM: I took 12 points of damage.

MATT: So yeah, you maintain concentration. Oh, wait. But you have disadvantage on it because the Screech of the Ravaged Mind puts a disadvantage on concentration checks.

SAM: That's an 18.

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: Yeah, you're fine.

SAM: Okay. Whew!

MATT: Just wanted to check.

LIAM: Retroactively, I have to make one for Hex as well, because I got bit.

MATT: That's true, yeah. Though Hex is now-- Well no, I'd say it's the same entity. I'd allow it. I'd allow it to stay.

LIAM: To stay? Okay. Not going to argue.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: Love that for me.

MATT: So roll 2d8 for the two damage you did earlier.

LIAM: I'm doing 2d8 for damage?

MATT: I'm sorry, 2d6 for your Hex that you-- You did two strikes before and didn't roll for Hex damage?

LIAM: No, no. I'm saying I have a concentration spell up, Hex.

MATT: Correct. But did you roll the Hex damage for the two times you hit before?

LIAM: Yeah, I just rolled it right into the numbers I gave you.

MATT: Okay, great. All right, so we're good then. Sorry. So you were doing a thunder lightning bolt, arcing through those.

LAURA: Through those three.

MATT: All right, let's go. So roll damage. What level are you doing it at?

LAURA: This is at 8th-level.

MATT: 8th-level.

TRAVIS: This is at 8th-level.

MATT: Oh my god. (laughs) Okay.

ASHLEY: This one goes to a 11.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

LAURA: So that's 13d6.

MATT: 13d6.

TALIESIN: Oh, do you want to split it or no?

MATT: Hand over there--

LAURA: No, I don't need to.

MATT: -- fails with a three. The center hand--

ASHLEY: Oh.

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: That's going to be an 18.

LAURA: Fail.

MATT: Fail. The head.

TRAVIS: What?

MARISHA: Come on.

MATT: That's going to be an 18 as well.

LAURA: Fail.

ASHLEY: Oh yes!

MATT: It's going to use--

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: -- legendary resistance to succeed on the head.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: It's going to use another one to succeed on the other hand.

SAM: Oh wow.

MATT: So it's used two of its legendary resistances, but now essentially this is, you're doing straight damage. All three would've succeeded, so they'd be taking half damage but because they're vulnerable, they all take full.

LAURA: Okay. 10.

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

LAURA: 11.

SAM: That's a lot of dice.

LAURA: Yes, it is. I don't know if I have enough.

LIAM: What do you need? Sixes?

LAURA: 12, 13.

MATT: That's nasty.

LAURA: No, I got it.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: What are I talking about, y'all? I have it.

MATT: (chuckles)

LAURA and SAM: Okay.

LIAM: That is so many dice.

ASHLEY: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: Ooh, okay.

MATT: That's a lot of dice.

ASHLEY: Those look good.

LAURA: 12. That's another 12, 24.

TRAVIS: That's a lot of dice.

LAURA: 34.

ASHLEY: That's good, that's good.

LAURA: 38, 40.

SAM: Guys.

LAURA: 44.

SAM: This combat is brought to you by WizKids and their Tastes of Exandria charms available for pre-order now. Discover some of Exandria's tastiest treats. Show off your love of Scanlan's hand pies, pocket bacon, and Strongjaw Ale with these 11 unique charms.

LAURA: 48 points of thunder damage.

ASHLEY: Yeah!

TALIESIN: (laughs) That was a vibe.

SAM: Pre-order today at your local game store or Wizkids.io/tastes.

MATT: Oh my goodness.

LAURA: Do any of those get doubled or is it, did they all save?

MATT: They all saved, so just straight damage as opposed to half damage.

LAURA: Okay, so it's 48 to all of them. However, the head takes half damage from the two other ones that you hit.

LAURA: No, none of them saved. But you legendary saved.

SAM: I think he legendary resistances.

MATT: Two legendary resistances I burned so that they could--

LAURA: Save.

MATT: Thought one of them saved, correct?

LAURA: None of them saved.

MATT: They all failed.

LAURA: The hand, the first one failed.

MATT: Right, that's right.

LAURA: They all failed, but you only used two legendary resistances.

MATT: Right, so this one is going to take the full brunt of the damage.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Which causes it to shatter entirely, blasting into glass shards throughout the chamber. That one already looks pretty hurt and it's a blast into this head as well. That head takes, so it takes 96 points of damage. so it takes 96 points of damage.

MARISHA, SAM, and ROBBIE: Whoa!

ASHLEY: Oh my god!

ROBBIE: Monstrous!

LAURA: I'm going to do two strikes on the head with my bonus action.

MATT: Custom Predathos piece. Shout out to Colm McGuinness.

LAURA: 12 plus 14 is 26 on the first spectral blade or barrier blade or whatever the fuck it is.

MATT: 26 hits.

LAURA: Okay, so that's--

LIAM: She's going ham. Horse girl is going ham.

TRAVIS: Horse girl.

LAURA: 27, 28 points on the first hit.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Come on, come on, come on.

LAURA: (sighs) Wait, that's 18. That's a crit!

MATT: 18 is a crit.

TRAVIS: Oh! What!

MARISHA: Wait, from your shit? From your shit still?

TALIESIN: No, no, no.

MATT: The spell that she cast crits on an 18 plus and when it crits--

LAURA: It does 12d12.

MATT: When it crits, it as 12d12 force damage.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

ASHLEY: Oh man!

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MARISHA: Matt, is force the same damage as thunder damage?

MATT: No, they are different damage.

MARISHA: They are different.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

MARISHA: Is force?

MATT: Force just does standard damage. Thunder is the one that seems to be potent.

LAURA: 24, 24.

TRAVIS: But why?

LAURA: 34.

MATT: Because the crystalline structure of it seems to not do well with reverberations.

LAURA: 51, 57.

LIAM: It's the physical vibrations.

LAURA: 59 points!

TRAVIS: Yo! (cheering)

LAURA: 59 points.

TRAVIS: On top of everything else you did?

MATT: So in one round, you've done over 170 points of damage. (cheering)

TRAVIS: That's up there.

LAURA: (excited yell)

MARISHA: Whoa!

TRAVIS: Way, way up there.

LAURA: Okay. Okay. Okay, okay. Okay.

MATT: So as it blasts through, the one hand explodes and shatters, the arm in front of you recoils and slams into the wall, stone and bits of glass fall and shatter across the ground and you have to shield yourself. You look past at the head, its head pulls back for a second, its jaw slack as it has to knock it back into place. You can see inside its mouth a lot of its crystalline teeth are shattered and broken off to the side. The head looks seared and burned really bad.

TRAVIS: I have a wood chisel! (laughter)

LAURA: That's my move. I'm not going to move because I don't want to take the hit.

MATT: All right, that finishes your go. Ashton, you're up, with Laudna on deck.

TRAVIS: Damn, 170? Get out of here!

ASHLEY: Damn, that was crazy!

TALIESIN: I have noticed that the head actually does damage when people hit it. When you hit the head that clearly, it does damage to you.

MATT: The head takes damage when people hit it, yeah.

TALIESIN: But you take damage when you hit the head as well.

MATT: It's possible.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: You've seen people get hurt when they hit it, yeah.

TALIESIN: All right, all right. Shit, fuck.

SAM: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Which of these two hands looks like it's having the worst day?

MATT: Right now, the large one that's nearest-- But you cannot see anybody near it at the moment.

LAURA: I can't even get far enough away from that.

MATT: But that one just got blasted with a thunderous bolt of lightning.

TALIESIN: Actually, where are you, Laura?

LAURA: I'm behind this giant hand here.

SAM: You don't know.

TALIESIN: Oh.

LIAM: Laura's right here.

MATT: Actually, you would have seen her--

TALIESIN: I would have seen--

MATT: -- move behind, and you see the source of the lightning bolts. You can ascertain that's where she is.

TALIESIN: I'm going to line that up for some advantage, and I'm going to run at this thing. I'm going to take a fucking jump at it, and I'm hitting it at that fucking elbow break right there.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: Because I don't know what else to fucking do. Here we go.

LIAM: I'm watching him.

TALIESIN: That's a 14, 24, 14, 28 to hit, so.

MATT: 28 hits.

LAURA: I rolled a concentration check, by the way, and I saved, so.

MATT: Cool.

TALIESIN: All right, that's 2d6. Fuck it, I'm going to roll a Chaos Burst into this just because, yeah, YOLO, so--

MATT: (chuckles)

TRAVIS: YOLO.

MARISHA: You decided to not do the other thing? Is that what we're hearing?

TALIESIN: It ain't going to matter.

LIAM: It's too little.

TALIESIN: It's too little. It ain't going to matter.

LIAM: It's not going to stop him getting squished.

TALIESIN: Which is fine for one round. So that's going to be-- Oh, lightning! That's nice.

ROBBIE: Like father like son.

TALIESIN: So that's going to be a--

LAURA: Let me see.

ROBBIE: That's a good drawing.

TALIESIN: Oh, I did that wrong. Sorry, hold on. Actually, I rolled lightning again so it doesn't matter.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Five points of lightning damage. It never changed.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: And then-- Comedy. Then--

MATT: So what was the total on that? That was?

TALIESIN: Five points of lightning damage, and then--

ROBBIE: It's your future.

LAURA: Yeah. Yours, too.

TALIESIN: 23 points of bludgeoning damage.

MATT: Okay, got you. All right. So that's the first attack.

TALIESIN: And that's first attack. Second attack.

LAURA: (claps)

SAM and ROBBIE: (scream)

MATT: Dead.

SAM: (chuckles)

TALIESIN: Yep. Oh, thank god for advantage. That's-- 25, 26, 30 to hit.

MATT: 30 to hit. That hits.

TALIESIN: Let's do another.

TRAVIS: Come on, dude.

TALIESIN: Let's do another Chaos Burst, see what the fuck we get. That's a seven. Seven, that's psychic damage. We'll see what psychic damage does. Four points of psychic damage.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: Plus 25 points of bludgeoning damage.

ROBBIE: Whoa!

LAURA: Woo!

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Massive.

MATT: Great.

TALIESIN: Is it fucking worth it?

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: No, because I mean, honestly, if I rolled this perfectly it's just 20 hit points, which, so.

LAURA: You don't want a bigger one?

TALIESIN: Nope. I'm going to--

LAURA: Who had this big one?

TALIESIN: I'm going to scoot back--

LIAM: I have a big one--

TALIESIN: -- so that I'm not into the realm of-- Oh, actually, towards me.

MATT: Okay, right there?

TALIESIN: Even a little further. Just, I don't want to trigger it, but I want to get out of the cone of--

MATT: Fair.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, that finishes your go.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's what I got.

MATT: All right, Laudna, you're up, with Orym on deck.

MARISHA: Otay.

SAM: ♪ So remember that ♪

TALIESIN: Shit, I should have gotten close to you so you still got a d4 of-- Okay.

MARISHA: A few things have changed.

LAURA: No, you can't. You're not out of his melee.

TRAVIS: Just a few.

LAURA: It's a 30 foot range.

TALIESIN: I know, I know.

MARISHA: It changed my plan a little bit last minute, but--

TALIESIN: I've got an emergency. I've got an emergency.

SAM: So how's he doing this?

MARISHA: What I will do--

MATT: How long does Hex last?

LIAM: Hm?

MATT: How long does Hex last?

LIAM: An hour.

MATT: An hour? Cool.

TRAVIS: Ashton.

MATT: Just double checking.

MARISHA: I'm going--

LIAM: Don't take my toys away.

MARISHA: To-- Goodness gracious.

TRAVIS: Plotting, plotting. Don't look at our faces.

MARISHA: I'm sorry.

SAM: Isn't he crystalline form?

MARISHA: Once again, things changed a little bit.

SAM: I know, but isn't his crystal form--

MATT: You're stalling.

MARISHA: I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.

MATT: (laughs) No, I'm teasing Travis.

MARISHA: I am--

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LAURA: Also, when he goes down, he comes back normal--

MARISHA: Would Bane help in this situation?

TRAVIS: I mean, it does a 1d4 to hands and face, right? You could do both hands and the head.

MARISHA: Would Bane, if I cast it on one, would I be able to?

SAM: (Bane groan)

TRAVIS: It's three, right?

MATT: They're all individual targets, so you'd have to cast them on all of them.

MARISHA: It is three. It is three. But you know what, fuck it. Let's do that. I'm going to cast Bane.

TALIESIN: Love Bane.

MATT: What's the range on Bane?

TRAVIS: 30 feet?

ROBBIE: What's the range on Bane?

MARISHA: 30 feet.

SAM: (Bane) The range on Bane is this city.

MARISHA: You're right. Never mind. That's not great.

SAM: (Bane) The city of Gotham.

MARISHA: (laughs) Okay.

ROBBIE: (Bane noises)

TRAVIS: ♪ It's been ♪

MARISHA: Okay, I'm sorry. I'm coming, I'm coming.

LAURA: (laughs) Okay.

SAM: That's what she said.

TRAVIS: That's not what she--

MATT and LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: Very clinical.

LAURA: I'm coming, I'm coming.

SAM: She said it just like that. (laughter)

SAM: (monotone) "I'm coming, I'm coming."

MARISHA: I'm coming. Okay, I will--

MATT: (British accent) Almost, almost.

MARISHA: Things change, things change. (laughter)

MARISHA: (British accent) Almost.

LIAM: (flatly) It's the best ever.

MATT: One of the few "Family Guy" jokes I actually like.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: (flatly) Oh, you're so big.

MARISHA: I am going-- (laughter)

MATT: Anyway. Hi, kids. (laughter)

MARISHA: I'll throw a Fireball on his ass.

MATT: Mm!

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Up the butt.

MARISHA: At 4th-level.

MATT: On just the head?

TALIESIN: I'll take it for, yeah, in the, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Actually, no, I'll just do--

TRAVIS: Because I'm not doing enough. I'm not doing that.

SAM: What is happening over here?

MARISHA: Yeah, I'll do 3rd-level, I guess on-- Gosh, because then I would get Braius but also, fuck him a little bit.

SAM: Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

MATT: Up to you.

MARISHA: Because I could get both.

MATT: You can get both of them, but in order to do so, you'd get Braius as well.

MARISHA: But if I scooch it this way a little bit, then can I get--

MATT: Shoot this way, you'll get Fearne.

MARISHA: But you're--

ASHLEY: I'm immune to fire.

MARISHA: You're immune to fire.

ROBBIE: (gasps) Yeah, yeah.

SAM: Immune?!

MARISHA: So I'll do that. I'll go--

MATT: Okay. Yeah, you can totally get the hand and Fearne. Yeah, Fearne, that's right. In this form, you're immune to fire.

ASHLEY: Give me the fire, baby.

MATT: Yeah, you can do that!

MARISHA: So I'll be like: Fearnie, you're going to feel a little tickle.

ASHLEY: (giggles delightfully)

SAM: But you're sparing me. Why?

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA: We'll talk later. You're not off the hook.

SAM: She loves me.

MATT: Level three Fireball?

MARISHA: Level three, we're going to keep it simple.

MATT: Arc shoots down--

ASHLEY: Shut up Braius and just take it!

MATT: -- and (booms)

SAM: She's in love with me.

MATT: -- detonates a swirl of what color flame?

MARISHA: Oh, it's a purplish-black.

MATT: (flame roaring) Purple-black fire bursts and swirls around the space.

TRAVIS: That'll never be normal!

MATT: Roll 8d6.

MARISHA: (claps) I'm getting better! I'm getting better at fire!

LAURA: Yay!

ASHLEY: That was so good!

MARISHA: Thank you!

MATT: The hand... oof, fails, I think, with a 16.

MARISHA: Fail.

MATT: Yep. The head, that's much better.

SAM: Whoa!

ROBBIE: Jeez!

MATT: A 25.

MARISHA: 25? Okay, yeah, he saves. On a dex save?

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: That's one dex-y head.

MARISHA: 10, 15, 20.

MATT: It's more of a psychic defense that it has to push through.

MARISHA: 25, so 25--

MATT: It gets a straight bonus across all of its saving throws because of its psychic powers.

TALIESIN: No, makes sense.

MATT: Much like how a paladin gets it for its divine powers.

MARISHA: Yeah, 25--

MATT: 25 points of--

MARISHA: -- damáge.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: I am then going to Quicken a spell.

MATT: Uh-huh.

MARISHA: I'm going to do Chill Touch on his head.

MATT: Chill Touch on his head.

TRAVIS: ♪ It's just ♪

MATT: All righty. So what saving throw is that?

TRAVIS: ♪ A chill touch ♪

MARISHA: I have to roll to hit.

MATT: Oh, you have to roll to hit. Let's go. (laughs)

SAM: ♪ It's just ♪ ♪ Just ♪ ♪ A Chill Touch ♪

SAM: ♪ Touch ♪

TRAVIS: ♪ Not like I faint ♪

MARISHA: Come on, come on, come on. Yeah, baby! Let's go!

TRAVIS: ♪ Every time Chill Touch ♪

MARISHA: 30 total.

MATT: 30 total?

MARISHA: 30 total.

MATT: All righty. That'll hit. Roll damage on the Chill Touch.

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Hey, DM.

MATT: Yeah?

TRAVIS: When you did that 30-feet burst--

LAURA: Hey, DM! Hey, DM!

TRAVIS: Everybody. (blasts)

TRAVIS: Because Brand of--

MARISHA: Auntie Em!

TRAVIS: -- Castigation it did six points of damage to you of psychic damage.

MATT: Because it just attacked, or--?

TRAVIS: Yeah, any time you attack me within five feet because of Brand of Castigation.

MATT: That's true. All right, great. Six points of damage to it. Boom. Hell yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah, baby. Yeah. Okay.

SAM: We all go the five--

TRAVIS: You know, the details of these things.

MATT: This thing's important. Good follow-up.

MARISHA: 20, okay. 20 necrotic damage.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: He cannot regain hit points.

ASHLEY: Whoa!

MATT: Oh!

MARISHA: Until the top of my next turn.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Ooh!

LAURA: We should just try one person to get an 8th-level back.

SAM: Yep.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: Have we used any of it?

LAURA: I used a seven.

TALIESIN: Smoke 'em if you got 'em, at this point.

MARISHA: 'Til the start of my next turn. Yeah. I'm assuming he's not undead, right?

SAM: Because you're a giving person?

MATT: Huh?

MARISHA: I'm assuming Predathos isn't undead.

MATT: Predathos is not undead, no.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: All right, cool. So good to know.

LAURA: If I had Foresight--

MATT: Does that finish your turn?

LAURA: -- I would have cast it on someone else, though.

ROBBIE: I have Foresight.

MARISHA: That finishes my turn.

MATT: Do you want to stay put or do you want to move?

SAM: (mocking Laura) I mean, it's fine.

MARISHA: Can I even just scooch back just a little further?

MATT: Yeah, if you want to scooch back under there behind the rock up there.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Self-care first.

MATT: You got it.

MARISHA: I still have line of sight and everything, yeah?

MATT: You do, you do. And you have half cover while you're up there, as well.

SAM: It's just, I wouldn't have made that choice.

MARISHA: Great. That's my turn.

MATT: All right. Orym, you're up.

LIAM: Oh man, Orym has been watching wounded Ashton this whole time and he's moved so far away, there's nothing. I can't get to him, so instead, he is going to squat down and spring off of his perch and land in the crystal above and forward from Chet.

MATT: Right here?

LIAM: In the crystal.

MATT: In the crystal.

LIAM: Not that crystal.

MATT: Oh, this right here.

LIAM: Head crystal.

MATT: All right. (whoosh)

LIAM: Into there.

MATT: Make an acrobatics or athletics check.

LIAM: Yep. That is a 23.

MATT: Easy enough to do. You manage to catch on a crystal and slide in towards where they gather as opposed to accidentally impaling yourself--

LIAM: And stabbing myself.

MATT: -- on one of them.

LIAM: Yep.

MATT: You catch yourself right there.

LIAM: Would you say since I'm diametrically opposite of Braius that I am in flanking?

MATT: Unfortunately, the flanking position is currently occupied by Chetney.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: So you can't flank from all the angles. It's a direct opposite. So as long as he's in flanking, you cannot get flanking.

LIAM: But there's creature directly between him and me? Okay, sorry. No advantage. I get a--

MATT: Trying to keep it balanced here.

LIAM: -- 30 to hit.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

MATT: You can't all flank from one dude standing there.

LIAM: 30 to hit.

MATT: But good checking out. But good checking out.

TALIESIN: Flanked flank.

LIAM: 30 to hit.

MATT: 30 hits.

LIAM: That is 21 points of damage. There's not much I can do here so I'm slashing away.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

SAM: Good.

LIAM: That is a miss.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: That is a 26 to hit.

MATT: 26 hits.

ROBBIE: Yeah!

LIAM: That is a dirty 20. That's 20 points of damage.

MARISHA: Might be his toesies.

MATT: Okay?

LIAM: Yep, that's it. (sighs) I look over to Ashton in the middle of it all and I stay put, that's it.

MATT: Okay. It is Predathos' go.

LAURA: (groans)

MATT: Gets legendary action's back.

TRAVIS: You don't have to do this.

TALIESIN: Wine red--

MATT: Okay, he's going to shift.

TALIESIN: -- oil coming out of every crack like the paint.

MATT: The ground cracks open as its head (whoosh) vanishes beneath the stone.

LAURA: Which one? The head?

ROBBIE: No!

LAURA: The head?

MARISHA: Oh, he's going to pop up somewhere else.

LAURA: Oh god.

SAM: There's nowhere to run.

TALIESIN: Well, there's, to be fair, a lot of--

MATT: The sword is going to be floating right about--

TALIESIN: -- places to run.

MATT: -- there where it was.

SAM: Shut up, Ashton.

LAURA: Huh?

TALIESIN: There's so many places to run.

SAM: There's nowhere to run, Ashton.

MATT: This is going to shift.

SAM: What if he--

ROBBIE: (yelps)

SAM: What if the head appeared--

ROBBIE: Hey!

SAM: -- in the end of the arm?

MATT: Right there, (crashes) emerges from the opposite side.

TALIESIN: That is pretty cool.

MATT: See if he gets-- Ooh, yeah, he finally gets that back.

ROBBIE: I like the way he goes, "Ooh!"

MATT: Sorry.

ROBBIE: It's scary.

MARISHA: I know, yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh no, oh no.

MARISHA: Why are you that jovial?

MATT: So--

SAM: ♪ Gonna die on my snake head ♪

TRAVIS: I wish Matt didn't know how lines work.

MATT: First--

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: Let's roll and see if it's a one to three or four to six.

LAURA and SAM: Oh no!

MATT: It's two, so it only activates, or it only calls forth one limb.

LAURA: Oh.

ROBBIE: Oh.

SAM: Calls forth? As in--

ROBBIE: Calls forth?

MARISHA: It only calls forth one--

SAM: But we just--

ROBBIE: No! (groaning)

ROBBIE: That one looks like it's doing a high five.

LAURA: They have 30-feet reaches!

ROBBIE: So maybe it's not so bad.

LAURA: 30 feet!

ROBBIE: Maybe it goes, "High five."

MARISHA: Damn.

MATT: This one here, now holding its place.

LAURA: So by the way--

MATT: There we go. That'll hold it there.

LAURA: You can get hit with that hand that's up there.

ROBBIE: I know. (laughs)

ASHLEY: (sighs) Okay.

MATT: As that--

LAURA: Whack at it.

MATT: (crashes) Comes carving out there.

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: (groans)

MATT: It's trying to keep a nice radius there as you vanish behind the rocks. It's going to begin-- (screaming) (laughter)

MATT: This will take--

TALIESIN: Damn, people.

MATT: There we go.

SAM: ♪ I am reaching ♪

TRAVIS: Listen, we just watched "Home Alone" last night.

SAM: ♪ But I fall ♪

MATT: Yep. From there, it's going to do Shriek of Oblivion because it did return.

LAURA: Oh!

ASHLEY: No, no, no.

SAM: It's only three. We're fine, we're fine.

LAURA: That's the one.

MATT: It's going to be a line there.

LAURA: That was the straight line.

ROBBIE: No!

LAURA: But this is the one, if you succeed, you don't take any damage.

MATT: Correct. It's an all or nothing. So with that--

MARISHA: Yeah, but the all's bad.

MATT: -- black energy (buzzing) spills from the inside around the middle of its crystal rough.

TRAVIS: Use your words. Use your words.

MATT: The mouth opens. (shrieks shrilly) This horrible shrieking sound out-- (exclaiming)

MATT: -- that tears across the field. This horrifying beam spills across and arcs upward. I need Fearne, Dorian, Orym, and Chetney to all make dexterity saving throws for me, please.

TRAVIS: (groans)

ROBBIE: Saving throws?

LIAM: I got a one. I'm rerolling.

TRAVIS: 11.

SAM: ♪ It's just ♪

ROBBIE: I got advantage because of Foresight.

MATT: You do.

ROBBIE: Dex saving?

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: Yes. Oof.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

LAURA: Natural 20?

ROBBIE: Natural 20.

MARISHA: Hey! (claps)

SAM: Roll that again, just in case.

MARISHA: You should roll again, just in case.

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just for fun.

MARISHA: What if it's another 20?

ROBBIE: That is 13. It's not. (laughs)

MARISHA: Okay. (laughs)

LAURA: Really?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Oh, that was a 19--

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah--

MATT: So--

TRAVIS: I had advantage. 27.

MATT: 27 is a success. You take no damage.

MATT: Dorian.

ROBBIE: Nat 20.

MATT: Success. No damage.

MARISHA: (snapping fingers)

MATT: Fearne?

ASHLEY: So constitution, you said?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: No, dex, dex.

LAURA: Dex, dex?

MATT: Sorry, dex, dex.

ASHLEY: The same.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: 19.

MARISHA: Evasion, Evasion, Evasion?

MATT: A 19--

MARISHA: Dex save?

MATT: A 19 is a failure.

LAURA: So Evasion.

MATT: So you still take-- So you fail. You still take half damage.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: So take half of 67 points of necrotic damage, so it'd be 33 points of necrotic damage.

ASHLEY: Guys--

SAM: Don't say it, don't say it!

LAURA: No, you have--

LIAM: I fail with a 16.

LAURA: Is that Evasion?

MATT: 16? You take 67 points of necrotic damage, Orym.

ASHLEY: Even if I use Evasion, or getting used to these things.

LAURA: The other thing?

ASHLEY: Uncanny Dodge.

SAM: We're watching her learn what rogues do.

MATT: Understood. Well, the Evasion--

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: -- is what allowed you to half that because it was a dexterity save.

LIAM: Yeah, you take half on a failure.

ASHLEY: So Evasion would be the 30--

MATT: Correct, Uncanny Dodge is versus attacks, and that's a reaction to do that.

LIAM: Evasion lets you get--

ASHLEY: I mean--

LIAM: -- zero damage on a success.

ASHLEY: -- I have 30 hit points left. So either way.

LAURA: So you don't use Evasion and you just die.

ASHLEY: So I don't use Evasion and just die.

MATT: Oh, you didn't have--

LAURA: She goes unconscious.

MATT: Fearne, as soon as the black beam carves through and the black energy (buzzes) arcs upward, the shadow scatters and you see Fearne flickering unconscious on the ground as Mister is coming up and going (monkey squeaks) and shaking her.

SAM and ROBBIE: Oh!

MATT: Orym, you took the 67 points of necrotic damage.

LIAM: I took the 67.

MATT: So that's going to start with that. Now it's going to activate two of its limbs.

TRAVIS: Whoa! Hold on, hold on! (laughs) Pace yourself! What the fuck?

SAM: We will remember Fearne. She made a good sacrifice for the Lord of Lies.

MATT: This one over here is going to come for--

MARISHA: She's still alive, you idiot!

MATT: -- Ashton.

SAM: She fought bravely.

MATT: No, it took a lot of damage. It's going to come after Imogen.

SAM: Oh, Imojen.

LIAM: You're getting attacked.

LAURA: I'm here. I heard it hurt.

MATT: All right, now it's going to come at you for, ooh, a natural 19. Yeah, it's going to be a 33 to hit.

LAURA: That, that, that, that, that--

MARISHA: How are you? Are you bad?

LAURA: I'm okay right now. I shouldn't say that.

MATT: This would be--

ROBBIE: I feel great.

TRAVIS: Ow.

MATT: This is for the ruinous claw.

ROBBIE: The what?

LAURA: I'm a Ruinousborn, so I'm immune to it.

MATT: That, unfortunately, is not a thing.

TRAVIS: Yeah, apocalypse be evolving, you jerk.

MATT: 29 points of slashing damage. Wait, that was a natural 19. That's a crit.

LIAM: Look at him smile.

MARISHA: Silvery Barbs.

MATT: How far away from you?

SAM: So far away.

MATT: What's the range?

MARISHA: 60 feet.

LIAM: You're a million miles away.

MATT: It's over 120 feet from you at the moment.

ASHLEY: Ugh.

MARISHA: Mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

MATT: So sorry. So on that-- Sorry, I said that was how much? That was--

TRAVIS: 29?

MATT: 29. So taking off this plus six, that'd be 23 doubled--

LIAM: The party's not doing that well.

MATT: -- would be 46 plus six.

ASHLEY: Mm-mm.

MATT: That's going to be 52 points of slashing damage.

TALIESIN: Sweet fuck!

TRAVIS: Didn't you just say you were doing fine out loud?

LAURA: I told you I shouldn't have said it out loud.

TRAVIS: You were right.

LIAM: Hit point levels are dropping--

LAURA: I took, yeah.

LIAM: -- real fast.

MATT: This hand over here is going to try and strike towards Laudna. You do have plus five to your AC against the attack because you have half cover hiding in those alcoves.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: But it's going to try and now reach for the one that's throwing Fireballs just out of reach.

MARISHA: I still have Mirror Image.

MATT: So that attack's going to be--

LAURA: You know, would it have gone away? How long does Mirror Image last? A minute?

MATT: -- 20 to hit.

LAURA: Because then you would have dropped it.

TRAVIS: Why are you asking those questions?

LAURA: Listen, he was not invulnerable anymore. She wouldn't have Mirror Image up.

MATT: Does 20 hit you?

ASHLEY: Wait, would I?

MARISHA: It is one minute, so you're right. Mirror Image is probably gone.

MATT: Mirror Image is gone.

MARISHA: 20 is exactly my AC. Shield. Does it stack?

MATT: Wait, 20 with the plus five?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Then Shield would cause it to avoid you, yeah.

MARISHA: So Shield.

MATT: So as the massive claw (whooshing) comes rocketing towards you, you (grunts) buckle down and--

MARISHA: No, no, no, no! No!

MATT: -- release the Shield and it (pounds) slams over the Shield and grasps. All the rock around you cracks and you feel it shift and it's like the hand is palming the Shield around you as it slowly pulls away, bits of rock and stone and glass dropping from its fingers as it pulls back.

TRAVIS: Jesus Christ!

MATT: All right, and it's going to maintain its-- Actually, let me see if that comes back. That does not come back, so its Miracle Devourer-- However, it did get its 50 temporary hit points.

MARISHA: No! No, no, no.

MATT: Regaining hit points is different from gaining temporary hit points. I looked it up. (exclaiming)

ROBBIE: Oh man!

MATT: Now, mind you, it can't heal itself and so its Miracle Devourer does not heal itself if it devours healing around it, but temporary hit points aren't on that.

LAURA: So it gets temp hit points, but it can't regain hit points.

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: So if we start healing, it's not going to take the half.

LAURA: It's not going to get its 50 points back.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: But it can get its 20 when it--

MARISHA: Does the Miracle Devourer.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: If we start healing.

LAURA: Right?

MATT: So if you heal within a radius of it, it can halve your healing and then heal itself with some of what it stopped.

LAURA: But it won't be able to do that.

MATT: But it won't be able to do that until the end of your next turn.

MARISHA: So it won't take half of our healing.

LAURA: That's good, so--

MATT: That's going to finish its turn.

LAURA: Do you have Mass Healing?

MATT: Its crystal shield is up.

ROBBIE: Yeah, no, I saved it.

MATT: Finishing that go, Fearne--

ROBBIE: I got to get you out of there.

MATT: -- top of your turn, I need you to roll a death saving throw for me.

TRAVIS: Come on, Fearnie!

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

TRAVIS: Don't roll the fucking teeth!

LAURA: Roll a 20.

ASHLEY: So I'm rolling a d20.

LAURA: Yeah, and you're going to roll a 20.

MATT: You are rolling a d20.

LAURA: And you're going to get 20.

SAM: At this time, you're rolling a d20.

MATT: You want a 10 or higher.

MARISHA: If you roll a 20--

MATT: Or a natural 20.

LAURA: Natural 20.

ASHLEY: If I roll a 20, what happens?

LAURA: You come back up.

MATT: You gain one hit point and pop up.

SAM: Yeah, you win D&D.

ROBBIE: Oh no, oh no!

ASHLEY: What does that mean?

TRAVIS: Did you do a one?

LAURA: (whispers) You lost two saves.

MARISHA: No!

MATT: Did you roll a natural one?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: (sadly) Oh...

MATT: So that's two death saves you failed.

MARISHA: No!

MATT: You are one step away from death. All right, finishing Fearne's turn, Braius, you're up.

MARISHA: We told you the opposite!

TRAVIS: Ashley!

ASHLEY: I told it to!

TRAVIS: Ashley!

ASHLEY: I told it to not do that.

TALIESIN: Burn that die forever.

TRAVIS: Our audio podcast listeners can't see all of our stupid cave mouth faces right now, just hanging open.

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: So that means, so I mark off two failures?

LAURA: Two, two!

MATT: Two failures, yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh my god!

MARISHA: She rolled a one, Liam.

LAURA: She rolled a one.

TRAVIS: Ooh!

MATT: Braius, it's your turn.

LAURA: Somebody save her!

TRAVIS: Make it leave a mark, Matt. Hurt us.

ASHLEY: Wait, so what happens?

LAURA: Don't hurt us.

ASHLEY: If I roll another one, that's it, right?

LAURA: You're dead!

ASHLEY: Like dead-dead?

LAURA: Yes!

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

LIAM: Focus in.

ASHLEY: It's fine, it's fine. It's going to be fine, it's going to be fine. Stop it. Get it together, get it together. Get your fucking head in the game. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Let's go.

LIAM: Are you yelling at your tiny dice?

ASHLEY: Yes. Yes.

LAURA: Whose turn is it?

SAM: My turn.

LAURA: Is it Dor--

SAM: It's my turn.

MATT: Actually, it is the--

LAURA: No!

MATT: At the end of Fearne's turn, I'm going to go ahead and--

LAURA: That was Fearne's turn?

MATT: -- activate a limb.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: (yells) That was Fearne's turn?

MATT: That's how she made a death save.

MARISHA: No, it's going to--

MATT: It's going to swipe at you.

LAURA: Me?!

MATT: Yep.

TALIESIN: Goddamn it.

MATT: That's going to be a 23 to hit.

LAURA: (shouts) Come on!

MATT: What?

TRAVIS: Who's it swinging at.

LAURA: Me!

TRAVIS: Oh.

TALIESIN: Shit.

TRAVIS: I should've known from the--

MATT: From the reactions.

TALIESIN: Shit, shit, shit.

MATT: All right, so with that, that's going to be 21 points of slashing damage against you.

ASHLEY: What for?

TALIESIN: Are you still up?

MARISHA: What for? What is the meaning of this?

TALIESIN: Okay, okay.

ASHLEY: Why?

TALIESIN: Okay.

LIAM: She's half dead.

MATT: All right, Braius, continue with your turn, please.

ASHLEY: But may I ask a question?

MATT: Yes, you may.

ASHLEY: So I wouldn't drop this form, would I?

MATT: No, the form maintains for the time period.

ASHLEY: Okay, the form maintains. Okay.

MATT: You're still on the ground flickering, flames wreathed around you.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: You are not conscious and on death's door.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

LAURA: But Dorian's up first?

SAM: He will be.

ROBBIE: It's Braius first.

LAURA: After Braius? Braius is a healer.

SAM: I have a singular mission, and that is to kill Predathos.

ASHLEY: It's true.

SAM: So. I will do that.

TALIESIN: It would be so much easier to kill Predathos if you had people helping.

LAURA: If you had teammates helping you.

SAM: I...

LAURA: Look at reason, Braius.

SAM: I'm an army of one.

TRAVIS and ROBBIE: (laugh)

MARISHA: Sam decides tonight to be evil.

TRAVIS: I love it!

LAURA: I see.

ROBBIE: It's not evil, it's pragmatic.

TRAVIS: I love it.

TALIESIN: It's really not, though.

LAURA: It's the moment.

ASHLEY: I mean--

TRAVIS: It's monochromatic.

LAURA: How's it feel, Sam? How does it feel?

SAM: You guys can convince me.

LAURA: I am convincing you right now.

TRAVIS: ♪ Look at my nipples and help us ♪

SAM: How are you convincing me? (laughter)

ASHLEY: Stick... (laughter) (laughter)

SAM: Did you just show me your titty?

ROBBIE: That might work.

MARISHA: It might work!

TRAVIS: It's helped in the past!

ROBBIE: That might work.

MARISHA: Do it!

SAM: Can you roll a persuasion check?

LAURA: Okay, for my titties?

ASHLEY: Roll a performance.

TRAVIS: No, no, no. One titty.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: For my titty?

SAM: Disadvantage.

MARISHA: Wait, does she get advantage? (laughter)

LIAM: Her heart's really not in it. (laughter)

LAURA: Wait, I have a really high persuasion. 20.

SAM: Whoa, shit! What do I roll?

MATT: What do you want to roll? Do you want to do--

LIAM: Think what you want to do.

SAM: That's high. That's a very high tit roll. (laughter)

MARISHA: She got perky little boobies.

SAM: Yeah, I saw--

LIAM: It's a high DC.

ROBBIE: One little titty--

MATT: Here, roll a d20 and add your wisdom saving throw.

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: That's pretty good.

LAURA: I love that you're making him.

LIAM: Or you could just help.

SAM: 14.

LAURA: So you save us. You're helping us.

MATT: Well, you are momentarily distracted and--

TRAVIS: Inspired?

MATT: -- briefly caught in the crossfire of a nipple flash.

LAURA: I love that I was just barely behind this. You don't even see my face, it's just a titty. (laughter)

LIAM: But it's streaked with glowing pink lightning streaks.

MATT: The eye of Odin opens up.

SAM: Really nice titty.

ROBBIE: That would be good.

TALIESIN: It's been a rough few days.

MARISHA: Just think, you could save two more of those on Fearne! (laughter)

MARISHA: There's more where those came from!

LIAM: It's like you saw one of those globes at Sharper Image. (electricity crackling)

MATT: Braius--

SAM: Is Lay on Hands an action?

MATT: Act as you wish.

SAM: Sure. Is Lay on Hands an action?

LAURA: Yeah, seriously.

MATT: It is an action.

SAM: Shit, that's my whole fucking turn to save this fire lady.

ASHLEY: Bitch.

MARISHA: Yeah, no, you wanted to say it.

MATT: Fire lady.

ASHLEY: Do what you think you would do.

LAURA: Okay, you do your thing.

ASHLEY: You do you, Braius.

LAURA: Pretend I didn't show you my tit and just be yourself.

SAM: How can I pretend that that didn't happen?

MATT: We did go through a rigamarole.

SAM: I have seen--

ASHLEY: The light.

SAM: I have seen gods appear before me before, and this is a divine sign.

LAURA: (laughs) (laughter)

SAM: I will take it as such and I will run to Fearne. (laughter)

MATT: Oh my god.

SAM: I will kneel down before Fearne and pray to my god and say: My lord, you have shown me much, but you've never shown me that. (laughter)

SAM: I have seen true heaven today. I will touch Fearne and use my last remaining Lay on Hands pool, which is three points.

MARISHA: But it gets her up.

ROBBIE: It gets her up.

MATT: Now, in theory, you could save it and just do one, which is just enough to get her--

SAM: That's true.

LIAM: Like an EMT.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: That's honestly--

SAM: I will be selfish and save the other two.

MATT: Just saying, from a tactical standpoint, that is pretty smart.

MARISHA: Because we might have to do that again.

LIAM: Because one hit point is no different than three hit points.

SAM: Let me see one more--

MATT: At this scale, yeah.

SAM: You know what, let me see one more thing.

LAURA: Because she's a bride of Asmodeus, she takes 21 points.

SAM: Sure, that counts.

ASHLEY: I'm actually back up to full.

MATT: Look, I gave you a titty, out of initiative.

ASHLEY: I gave you a titty.

TRAVIS: I granted titty.

ASHLEY: I gave you a titty.

ROBBIE: You giveth, you taketh away.

LIAM: As with so many others, one glimpse of a booby, and all religion just--

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Yes, yes, yes, yes.

SAM: For my bonus action, for my bonus action, I will, well, is Laudna within--

MATT: Rub one out? (laughter)

MATT: Sorry.

LIAM: For Asmodeus.

MATT: Turn this into the beginning of "The End of Evangelion."

SAM: I'm a horny guy.

MARISHA: Oh god.

LIAM: Jeez.

MATT: "I'm so fucked up!"

SAM: Is Laudna within inspiring range of me? Probably not.

MARISHA: Laudna? Me?

MATT: Gallows humor.

SAM: Yeah, you.

MARISHA: What's your range?

SAM: 60. I guess I could've done it before I moved.

ROBBIE: Oh, you're way up there. Oh my god.

SAM: Way up there.

LIAM: She's halfway up Mount Everest.

MARISHA: Before he moved?

LAURA: But you could've done it before you moved.

MATT: You could've, you would've been just in range before you moved if you wanted to do that.

SAM: All right, I will inspire Laudna by saying: I'm not all bad! I painted this.

MARISHA: Ooh!

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

ASHLEY: Wow!

LAURA: That is so good.

MARISHA: I'm a sucker for presents. Give it to me.

SAM: I throw it to her!

MARISHA: Whoa! (laughter)

MARISHA: I love it!

MATT: Make an athletics check for me.

SAM: Okay. Okay, athletics is 22.

MATT: 22. You catch it in the middle of the air like a boomerang.

MARISHA: We're getting there. We're getting somewhere.

SAM: I show her my titty. (laughter)

SAM: It's an udder. (laughter) (laughter)

ASHLEY: Do you have an udder ring? They're also pierced?

SAM: I have five udder rings.

MATT: Incredible.

MARISHA: Udder ring.

MATT: All right, I'm going to go ahead and--

LIAM: That could prevent a TPK.

MATT: -- at the end of your turn, use another legendary action to activate a limb. I'm going to have the hand, it's going to strike at you again.

LIAM: Ugh.

MATT: That's going to be a 24 to hit.

LIAM: Where the shit are you?

LAURA: I'm hiding. I'm behind the limb.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: I mean this little arm in the corner.

MATT: That's not a great damage roll. 20 points of slashing damage.

LIAM: Okay, she's rocked now.

MATT: All right, and with that, top of the--

MARISHA: Wait.

MATT: Dorian, you're up, with Chetney on deck.

MARISHA: Did you go down?

LAURA: No, no, no.

TALIESIN: No, no, no.

LAURA: But I will on the next hit for sure.

ROBBIE: Ugh!

SAM: Give me that picture again.

ROBBIE: I'm going to use my movement to fly up, engage with big hand one.

MATT: Okay.

ROBBIE: Right at the wrist.

MARISHA: How?

SAM: This?

ROBBIE: Oh!

MARISHA: Because it drips down?

ROBBIE: Because you're peeking out of a door?

MARISHA: Because it drips.

MATT: That's cool. I like that.

SAM: I know, I painted it.

MATT: That's amazing. Well done. (laughter)

SAM: Me. (laughter)

MATT: All right, Dorian, you fly up to the edge of that wrist.

ROBBIE: I'll draw my sword off my back, and I'm going to start hacking away at the wrist.

MATT: Go for it. This looks very damaged.

ROBBIE: Okay, good. Yeah. 14, but I have advantage. No, that's better. 14, 23, 27?

MATT: 27 hits. Roll damage on that one.

ROBBIE: On the first one, okay. Great, five plus seven, 12.

MATT: 12 points of damage?

ROBBIE: Mm-hmm, and then I'll take my--

MATT: You carve through with one massive slash, and you watch as you cut through most of the wrist. The hand tries to claw in reaction, and it breaks, and you watch as the hand falls off, the rest of it crumbling to the ground. It was barely holding on.

MARISHA: Yes!

ASHLEY and MARISHA: Yes!

ROBBIE: Okay, great.

LAURA: (claps)

ROBBIE: (laughs) I had more to do, but now I don't have to.

MATT: You can still move.

ROBBIE: Yeah, could I get to the other hand with my remaining movement?

MATT: What's your speed?

SAM: On the other hand--

ROBBIE: 40, when I'm flying.

MATT: 40, you could not get back to the hand, but you could get to the head, if you want to. You have to land near it.

ROBBIE: Yeah, let's do it. I'll fly over to the head.

MATT: Okay.

ROBBIE: I'll use my second attack.

MATT: Go for it, so you land on the ground right next to the massive head of Predathos.

MARISHA: You have advantage.

ROBBIE: I got 17... 20... 17 and 13, yeah, that was 30.

MATT: Yeah, that hits. Go for it.

ROBBIE: Okay, good. So that's another six. Bad, eight.

MATT: Have you been doing concentration constitution saving throws, by the way, to maintain your blade?

SAM: Jesus.

LAURA: Jesus Christ. That fails now.

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: What was that?

LIAM: It was a one.

LAURA: I rolled over all my other dice, but yeah, it landed on a one on top of my other dice.

MATT: Aw.

ASHLEY: Dang.

MATT: The blade vanishes.

LAURA: I feel like--

ROBBIE: That was only eight slashing, but then I'll use my defensive flourish.

MATT: The blade did a fair amount of damage in the time it was on the board.

TRAVIS: 170.

ROBBIE: That's bad.

MATT: What was that?

MARISHA: Advantage.

ROBBIE: Do I get to use that on damage rolls?

MATT: No. (laughs)

ROBBIE: I don't think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's just doubled--

LAURA: Oh, I get advantage because it's a con save making a concentration--

MATT: You do, so roll one more time.

LIAM: Come on, come on. Come on.

ROBBIE: Do it.

SAM: ♪ Come on, come on ♪

LAURA: 17 plus--

SAM: Better.

MATT: That'll hold onto it.

LIAM: All right.

MATT: And you took a second swipe earlier we didn't roll for, so roll with advantage one more time.

LIAM: That's so long ago.

LAURA: Natural 20.

ASHLEY: Yes! (cheering)

MATT: The blade remains.

ASHLEY: There we go.

TALIESIN: The blade abides.

MATT: Still chilling over here.

MARISHA: The blade abides.

MATT: Awesome.

TALIESIN: The blade abides.

MATT: Good on you, Laura. All right.

ROBBIE: So another little two points of damage, slashing, and then I get an extra one to my AC because I did defensive flourish.

MATT: Great.

ROBBIE: Then for my bonus action, now that I learned how that worked, now I'll do Healing Word.

MATT: At?

ROBBIE: Is Ashton within 60 feet, you think?

MATT: Ashton--

ROBBIE: Maybe.

LAURA: I think so.

MATT: -- is within 60 feet.

MARISHA: Oh boy.

ROBBIE: Let me triple check and make sure it's 60 feet, which I think it is.

MATT: I think Healing Word is 60 feet, I'm pretty sure.

ROBBIE: Okay, cool.

TALIESIN: Yeah, so yeah, we've got a couple in 60 feet.

ROBBIE: That's only one--

SAM: It's one person.

ROBBIE: It's one target.

TALIESIN: What are you sitting at?

LAURA: Got it.

TALIESIN: What are you sitting at?

LAURA: I'm at 31 points.

ROBBIE: And you're single digits.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's fair.

SAM: Hey.

ROBBIE: Okay, that's pretty good. Six, 10, 12, and then again.

SAM: Whoa, what level is this?

ROBBIE: I did it at level four, so it's 8d4.

SAM: Damn.

ROBBIE: Was that four, four, four, 12, 14--

LAURA: That's great.

MARISHA: Wow.

ROBBIE: -- 12, 14, plus three. Okay, yeah, 29 points of healing.

TALIESIN: Oh my god.

ASHLEY: Dang.

ROBBIE: Yeah, and that'll do it.

TALIESIN: That helps a lot.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: All better.

MATT: That finishes your turn. End of your turn, it's going to use its last legendary action there.

TRAVIS: So y'all are the same?

TALIESIN: Do you have healing potions, by the way?

LAURA: No, I gave it to my mom.

TALIESIN: Fuck.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's right.

MATT: It's going to activate limb, and it's going to attack you, Fearne.

LAURA: No!

ASHLEY: Okay.

ROBBIE: Fearne is up, though.

LAURA: But you're up.

MATT: You're up, so your death saving throws have cleared.

ROBBIE: Tilt her mini up, tilt her mini up!

MATT: She hasn't had a turn to get up.

ROBBIE: Oh no!

MATT: So it has advantage on the attack because you're prone.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: Except it doesn't, because I'm going to impose disadvantage thanks to Truthbearer, fabled plate of Uther Vendrock. (laughter) (laughter)

MATT: I'm going to tell you an old WoW joke when we get to break that this fits perfectly for. So that's going to make it a 20 to hit with disadvantage. What's your AC?

ASHLEY: My AC is 17.

MATT: 17. It's going to hit you.

ASHLEY: Do I--

LIAM: No, that's it.

SAM: Evasion.

MATT: Do you have Shield?

ASHLEY: I have Shield.

MATT: You can do that. Do you want to?

LAURA: Do it.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I mean--

ROBBIE: Yes!

ASHLEY: That would be the time.

MATT: That'll make it miss.

LAURA: Now's the time to do it.

MATT: So you expend one of your 1st-level spell slots as a rogue arcane trickster.

ASHLEY: I have one 1st-level left.

MATT: Cast Shield on yourself, and it arcs past you, almost sending you right back into the darkness. You barely avoid being thrust into an unconscious state once more.

ASHLEY: Okay, that's the time to use it. That's the time to use it.

MATT: Woof! That disadvantage saved your ass, too.

ASHLEY: Yes. Thank you, Braius.

SAM: No problem.

LIAM: He's evil!

MARISHA: He's doing it for the boobies.

MATT: Finishing Dorian's turn, Chetney, you're up.

TRAVIS: Have to make a change, because you're the same now.

TALIESIN: Do the deal.

TRAVIS: You have damage reduction.

TALIESIN: No, I know.

TRAVIS: Okay. With my bonus action--

MATT: Uh-huh?

TRAVIS: I'm going off the range here.

MATT: What are you doing?

MARISHA: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!

TRAVIS: My bonus action, I'm going to click my Boots of Speed, which will up my speed to 80.

MATT: Okay. Oh yeah!

SAM: Oh shit.

TRAVIS: I'm going to break for Imogen.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: I'm going to use--

MATT: That'll get you right there.

TALIESIN: Nice.

TRAVIS: I'm going to use the Staff of Dark Odyssey to cast Blink on you.

LAURA: (gasps)

TALIESIN: Yeah!

TRAVIS: Which will take you off the map in between turns.

LAURA: Oh my god!

ASHLEY: Cool.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Can we still teleport out of here if we need to?

TRAVIS: No.

MARISHA: But I think we were already smoked on teleporting. I don't think we had it anyway.

LIAM: Yeah, it's all or nothing.

TRAVIS: We've got to protect the big guns and y'all are the same level.

MARISHA: For sure.

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: So that'll be two charges.

LAURA: Wow.

TRAVIS: You'll have Blink on you.

LAURA: Thank you.

MARISHA: Yeah, that's massive.

TALIESIN: Solid.

MARISHA: That's massive.

LAURA: Do I roll now?

MATT: You are now concentrating on Blink.

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: Just so you know. So I'll mark that here.

LIAM: I will inhabit you.

TRAVIS: How much speed--

LIAM: I will inhabit, goddamn it!

TRAVIS: Do I have any distance left over after that 80?

MATT: It took you 80 feet to get there. She was 80 feet away from you.

TRAVIS: Amazing.

LIAM: Nice. You loped across the field.

TRAVIS: I will-- Well, I was going to say I'll fall over like I passed out. (laughter)

MATT: Just (pants). (impacts)

TRAVIS: I take out the sword and say: Alakazam!

MATT: You still have a bonus action.

TRAVIS: Bonus action was clicking the Boots of Speed.

MATT: Oh, that's right, yeah, so there you go.

TRAVIS: So that's my smash.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: That's if I roll 11 or higher, I blink out?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: All right, that finishes your turn, Chetney. It now comes to the second, or the level 20. Let's see if it moves one or two.

LAURA: I know.

MATT: Yeah, that's going to be two movements.

MARISHA: I feel like I don't smell good.

MATT: This hand vanishes beneath, and then emerges right next to the two of you.

LIAM: Damn it.

TALIESIN: What's up?

MATT: Actually, right in between the two, so it now has all three of you in combat range. Then this hand is going to shift and locks itself out in the open so it can keep as many people as it can within its melee range.

LIAM: Whoa.

MATT: Imogen, you're up, with Ashton on deck.

LAURA: Okay! Oh Jesus.

MARISHA: Oh Jesus!

LAURA: Oh Jesus. Okay, I'm going to, for my bonus action, use a spectral, my blade.

MATT: Well, beginning of the turn-- Or is it the end of the turn, she rolls for it? I think with Blink it's the end, yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, Blink is at the end.

MATT: Okay, so you're going to move the spectral blade up and over near this?

LAURA: Yeah, my Blade of Disaster.

MATT: Let's go, all righty. So roll for an attack.

LAURA: 10 plus 14, 24.

MATT: 24 hits.

LAURA: Okay. 16, 19, 24 points of damage. (yelps) Jeez Louise! 16 plus 14. That definitely hits.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: (groans) That was a bad roll! Three plus three is six, plus three is nine. Nine points.

MATT: Nine points of damage on that. You got it. All right, so striking into it, carving through the hand, it does a fair chunk of damage to the base of it. The claw's sweeping it around, taking in the space. The head's still wincing with the attacks that the other hands sustain. That's your bonus action.

LAURA: Oh god!

MATT: What's your action?

LAURA: God! Okay. Got a 6th-level left. So I'm going to do--

TALIESIN: Hit it hard.

LAURA: I'm going to move over--

LIAM: Come on, damage dealers.

LAURA: Sorry, Chet.

MARISHA: In terms of like--

LAURA: I'm going to move right here.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: I'm going to do a 6th-level--

MATT: Lighting Bolt to both of those?

LAURA: Yep.

LAURA: Transmutated to thunder damage.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: Thundercat.

MATT: With that, as you (sizzling) clap your hands together--

LAURA: So that's 11d6.

MATT: (magic blasting) That is going to be a failure on the one that's nearest to you. (sighs) Both got natural fours.

ASHLEY: Woo!

TRAVIS: Oh!

MATT: It's going to save its last legendary resistance. So they're both failures.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: They do double damage.

LAURA: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11. (gasps) Fuck! 12, 18, 28.

TALIESIN: Yep.

LAURA: 30. 42 points.

TRAVIS: And it's thunder, so it's doubled, right?

LAURA: Thunder times two. So--

TRAVIS: 84?

LAURA: -- 84 points.

MATT: 84 points of damage.

LIAM: This is your fight, Ruidusborn. Fuck it up!

ASHLEY: Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on!

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: You see Chet's face turn from a wolf back into the old man. This is all you, Imogen! You have no idea how much it hurts to do this. Take him down! (snarls) (laughter)

LIAM: So he looks like a guy that's--

TRAVIS: Yep.

LIAM: -- in a Muppet suit for a second?

TRAVIS: An old man face in a giant wolf suit. (laughs)

LAURA: Thank you, Chet.

LIAM: "Where the Wild Things Are."

MATT: A heavy clap of thunder (thunder crashes) echoes throughout the chamber. There's explosions of glass and stone. Then, as the dust settles, both of these arms--

TRAVIS: Oh!

ASHLEY: Oh!

MATT: Are sundered.

TRAVIS: Oh god!

MARISHA: Yes! (cheering)

TRAVIS: This is a race to the bottom!

ROBBIE: No!

TRAVIS: A race to the bottom.

MATT: So is she!

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Oh my god!

MATT: Just held onto that one.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Okay!

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Where's my--

TRAVIS: Leave the water inside!

MATT: The blast causes it to wince heavily as it impacts from the blow.

LAURA: And I Blink out.

MARISHA: Yep.

MATT: And you Blink out.

TALIESIN: Yeah!

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: Let's fucking go!

LIAM: Deuces!

SAM: ♪ And I blink ♪

MATT: Where you were, we're going to go ahead place this so we know where you were standing before. All righty.

LAURA: Thank you, Chet.

MATT: That finishes your turn, Imogen. Ashton, you're up, with Laudna on deck.

TALIESIN: Well, fuck!

ASHLEY: Oh shit!

TALIESIN: Can I make 40 feet? Can I make it to the head?

MATT: 40 feet.

ROBBIE: (chuckles)

TRAVIS: Jump.

MATT: You cannot.

ROBBIE: Goddamn it. (laughs)

TALIESIN: Shit fuck. Okay. So what I will do then is I will move 40 feet in this direction. If I can be within 10 feet away, my brain, from Dorian.

MATT: That will put you there. Okay, so you will be--

TRAVIS: No lines.

MATT: There is your 15 feet from Dorian.

TALIESIN: Okay, there's no way I can be a little further back from that 15 feet, on the other side?

MATT: I mean, you could be here.

TALIESIN: Okay. Is that still 15 feet?

MATT: That's still 40 feet, yeah. So 15 feet from him, unfortunately, you're just out of range.

TALIESIN: All right, move back, as this is a triple line and I'd rather have a double line.

MATT: Okay, so back here?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Anything to break the line up a little.

MARISHA: Is that it? Can't do anything else?

TALIESIN: Oh, wait a minute!

MATT: You can dash as an action, if you want to.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I was going to dash.

MATT: Or dodge action. Your call.

TALIESIN: I'm going to dash so that I'm on the right side, 10 feet from Dorian, just to here.

MATT: Over here?

TALIESIN: Yeah, but a little backed up. I know that's not--

LAURA: So you're not like--

MATT: This way? Or this way?

TALIESIN: Towards me.

LAURA: This way.

TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: Right there.

TALIESIN: As long as it's 10 feet.

MATT: 10 feet is there.

TALIESIN: Yeah. So he can get my bonus.

MATT: From Dorian.

ROBBIE: Bonus.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. So you would be there.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, got it. All right. That finishes your go, Ashton, Laudna, you're up, with the Orym on deck.

LAURA: You want to be further away from the head or closer to the head?

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: Does it matter really? I don't know. I'm okay, I guess.

ROBBIE: Whose turn is it?

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: It's mine.

SAM: It's a-mine!

TALIESIN: It's got a giant head.

SAM: Laudna.

ASHLEY: Laut-na.

ROBBIE: Laut-na.

MARISHA: Laut-na. I am going to go ahead and recast Mirror Image on myself.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Just in case because I don't trust that this is going to be over.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: I think it is.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: For us.

MARISHA: Then I'm going to-- (laughter)

MARISHA: -- Quicken spell, Eldritch Blast.

MATT: Okay, what's the range on that?

MARISHA: 250 feet.

LIAM: Ooh!

TRAVIS: Good. Lord!

MATT: Yeah, you're fine.

MARISHA: Sorry.

MATT: You're fine.

MARISHA: 240 feet.

MATT: You're fine. You're fine.

TRAVIS: Sheesh. 120 doubled.

MARISHA: I am incredibly low on sorcery points.

MATT: Probably have to move to see it to get from behind the rock.

MARISHA: Okay, I'll shift a little bit.

MATT: So you can move over to this side here.

MARISHA: Yeah, that's good.

LAURA: What an amazing spot!

MATT: To see it there.

ROBBIE: Talk about a--

TRAVIS: You got that nest.

ROBBIE: -- spell sniper.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN and MATT: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

MARISHA: I have that feat. (laughs)

ROBBIE: Oh really?

MARISHA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Oh okay.

TRAVIS: Dirt. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Check the windage.

MARISHA: I'm also going to spend another sorcery point to Twinned spell this.

TRAVIS: Make it on my dope sheet.

MARISHA: So I'm going to Twinned spell and land--

LAURA: You can't--

MATT: Well, Twinned Spell you have to have multiple targets.

LAURA: Yeah, you can't hit the same target.

MARISHA: That's right! Fuck!

MATT: All the targets got destroyed.

MARISHA: Ugh! Fuck! That was my plan when there were more. My plans keep changing because his hands move!

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Wandering hands.

SAM: That's what she said.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

TALIESIN: No, because then--

MARISHA: Okay. (laughter)

MATT: Correct, yeah.

ROBBIE: How many can you do?

MATT: You can't Twinned Spell to the same target.

SAM: That's what she said. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I knew tonight was going to go this way!

MARISHA: I do have four of these, though. I do have four of these.

MATT: You do. At level 17, you do!

MARISHA: Yeah. So 13. It's 22 to hit the head, right?

TRAVIS: Leave none alive!

MARISHA: So (laughs) nine ups. Here we go.

SAM: No.

LAURA: (chuckles)

SAM: Low-hanging fruit.

MARISHA: One's a natural 20.

MATT: Nice!

TALIESIN: Yeah!

MARISHA: 17, 13. So three hits with one being a natural 20.

MATT: You got it! So roll damage.

MARISHA: Okay, so for the first one.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: Yeah. Yeah. It's 13.

TRAVIS: Yah.

MARISHA: Yah!

MARISHA: 12?

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Second one. 12.

MATT: All righty, and then--

MARISHA: Double damage on this one.

MATT: -- do the crit.

MARISHA: Come on, big high! Go high! Yeah! It's a 10!

MATT: That's a 10! Yeah!

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah!

MARISHA: So that's 25 damage.

ROBBIE: Yes! Yes, yes, yes.

MATT: Nice! (impacts) (whooshing) Launching these Eldritch Blasts, they arc through the air. (whooshing) Anime swarm missile-ing. Three of them impacting (impacts) on the sides of Predathos' massive Kaiju head. Blasts of crystal shooting out the side.

MARISHA: What is that? Plus--

SAM: Six.

MARISHA: -- plus six? Okay, good.

SAM: If you wanted to on the one that you missed.

MARISHA: Oh, on the one that I missed? Actually, yeah. I'll do it. Can I add my inspiration to the one that I missed?

MATT: Yeah, if you don't want to save it, go for it.

MARISHA: Because it was an eight. Yeah, that's 23.

MATT: 23 hits.

MARISHA: Okay.

ROBBIE: Oh!

ASHLEY: Ooh!

MATT: There it is!

MARISHA: I'll do it. I'll do it. And then--

ROBBIE: Roll a ten.

TALIESIN: Work for it.

MARISHA: Where's my fucking die? Here we go. No, not as good, but still pretty good. Nine damage.

MATT: Nine damage. Great!

TRAVIS: ♪ Still pretty good ♪

ROBBIE: Nice!

TALIESIN: That was a good roll.

MATT: Over 50 damage on a cantrip.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Woo!

ROBBIE: (chuckles)

MATT: Not too bad.

TRAVIS: Not bad.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: You're going to hide again, I assume?

SAM: She's got multiples up now.

TALIESIN: Or not.

LIAM: Yeah, but behind a rock is better than--

TRAVIS: (exhales)

MARISHA: Yeah, I guess. Can I get half cover? Kind of switch back.

MATT: Sure. You can move back to where you were.

MARISHA: Just a little bit. But I still want to be able to see. I still want to be able to have, in case I need to--

MATT: Yeah. You're in between right there. You can still glance out over the side this way to see. That's where the half cover comes from.

LIAM: Just like Braius' painting.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: All right, cool. That finishes your go. All right. That finishes Laudna, Orym, you're up.

LIAM: Orym is going to streak towards Fearne and stick Seedling into the hilt on his back, and I'm going to pull out this and pour it down her gullet.

LAURA: (exhales)

MATT: Okay, what's your movement?

LIAM: It's 30 feet.

MATT: 30 feet.

TALIESIN: Let's go!

MATT: That'll get you--

ASHLEY: Oh my gosh.

LIAM: 30 feet?

MATT: Yeah, 30 feet will get you just there.

TRAVIS: (whistles)

TALIESIN: Ooh, Nelly!

SAM: Can you adjust things in your marsupial pouch?

LIAM: Seven, nine.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I pour it in there. It's like a second mouth.

MATT: Second mouth? (laughter)

MARISHA: Just like Nana Morri!

ASHLEY: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Just like Nana Morri!

MARISHA: (gasps)

MARISHA: What if you revealed that last episode.

TRAVIS: You can talk through that shit.

MARISHA: That you have to hold her.

LAURA: You actually have this cool stomach.

SAM: Do you have a Quato?

ASHLEY: I have a tummy, too! (laughter)

LIAM: 36. 44 points.

LAURA: Mm!

ASHLEY: 44 points of healing?

MATT: That was the big boy.

LIAM: Then I will use my last superiority die to use Bait and Switch and glide, pull her back and stand in front of her.

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: Shield up. You get an additional six to your AC for the rest, until my turn comes around again, and I stand there--

ASHLEY: That's not a good shield, is it?

LIAM: That's on top of Shield.

MATT: They both go together.

ASHLEY: Top of Shield? So how much is on top of that?

TRAVIS: Bitches be witches.

MATT: Until your next turn--

LIAM: Your 17... your 16... is your AC?

ASHLEY: 22. Well, I'm 17.

LIAM: So 22 with Shield.

MATT: So 28.

ASHLEY: 22, so 28. That's amazing.

MATT: 28 until your turn.

LAURA: Wow!

LIAM: That's if you're near me. If you move away, then--

LAURA: You lose that.

MATT: Then you'll lose that.

ASHLEY: Until his next turn or--

LIAM: Until we come around to me, if you're with me--

LAURA: You get a plus.

LIAM: -- your AC is that boosted.

MATT: You lose your Shield at the top of your turn, but--

ASHLEY: Okay, so then it'll go down. Got it.

LAURA: Yeah. Which is up next.

MATT: That's great.

TALIESIN: That's nuts.

MATT: All right, hand me your big boy.

LIAM: Yeah, here we go.

MATT: Well, and put the dice back.

LIAM: Yeah, okay. I'll slide it all.

MATT: All right, that finish your turn, Orym?

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: All right. With that, it is Predathos' turn. Predathos gets legendary actions back.

ROBBIE: What?

TALIESIN: Here we are.

MATT: Top of the round. Okay, does not get its Shriek of Oblivion back.

LAURA: Yay.

TALIESIN: Yay.

MATT: Unfortunately. Let's see if it gets... Yep, that's a five. So get two limbs up.

LAURA and LIAM: (groans)

LAURA: He keeps generating limbs!

MATT: That's his technique.

SAM: Wait, he gets more hands?

LAURA: He gets to keep making them.

TALIESIN: He has many hands.

LIAM: Just making it.

SAM: How do we stop them? Is there some--

LAURA: We kill the head.

TALIESIN: Keep killing the head.

SAM: Can we break all the crystals or something? Isn't there a special--

LAURA: No, he's busting the hands out wherever they want to come.

TALIESIN: The special is killing the head.

TRAVIS: (trumpets)

TRAVIS: Yeah. You hear a war horn in the distance.

TRAVIS and LAURA: ♪ (pitiful trumpets) ♪

ASHLEY: Ugh, come on! Another one?

MATT: Walks back in, kills you both.

SAM: Another one!

TALIESIN: To be fair, Braius, we can't run.

ASHLEY: (groans)

MATT: This one's going to go ahead.

TALIESIN: There's nowhere to run.

SAM: There's nowhere else.

LAURA: That hand totally could've come up where I was.

TALIESIN: Oh my god!

ROBBIE: More hands?

LAURA: I would move over. When I blink back, I would move to the--

MATT: Yeah, you would shift over.

LAURA: -- open spot. Yeah.

MATT: No worries. All right, so both of those apparate. It is going to--

MARISHA: Oh, it dropped two hands?

TRAVIS: Yep.

MATT: Yeah I rolled, on a one to three, it gets one, and a four to six, it gets two.

SAM: New hands just dropped. (laughter)

MATT: It's going to use Screech of the Ravaged Mind. So everyone within 30 feet has to make a constitution saving throw.

TRAVIS: Shit.

MATT: That is--

TRAVIS: 30 feet of the head?

MATT: Everyone except for Chetney and Imogen and Laudna.

TRAVIS: I'll roll with you just out of--

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Out of solidarity?

TRAVIS: Yep. (laughs)

ROBBIE: (groans)

TALIESIN: Oh, you got a d4 added.

SAM: (groans)

MARISHA: Oh, yes, baby!

TALIESIN: Are you okay?

ROBBIE: So good to me.

TALIESIN: Okay, good.

SAM: Dorian!

ROBBIE: Feels nice.

LAURA: Rufio!

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Rufio!

MATT: Dorian.

ROBBIE: Nat 20 again.

MATT: Nat 20!

ROBBIE: Yeah.

LAURA: Amazing.

MATT: So half of 35 is, that's going to be 16, 17 points of psychic damage.

ROBBIE: Okay.

SAM: 14.

MATT: 14. You take 35 points of psychic damage. Fearne?

ASHLEY: 16?

MATT: 16. Take 35 points of psychic damage.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: Oh wow!

LIAM: I got a new Indomitable slot, leveling up temporarily, so I got a 22.

SAM: Oh wait!

MATT: 22 just succeeds.

ASHLEY: I'm at five hit points.

MATT: So you take 17 points of psychic damage.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Ashton?

TALIESIN: Nat 20.

MATT: Nat 20! You take 16 points of psychic damage.

TRAVIS: Nice!

ROBBIE: What'd I have? 22? Let's go!

ASHLEY: Then, I rolled 20.

SAM: She actually rolled a 20, Matt.

ROBBIE: Maybe if you're closer to it.

MATT: You rolled 20?

SAM: Yes.

ASHLEY: Because I didn't know I had--

MATT: 20 still fails.

ASHLEY: 20 still fails. Okay. 20 still fails. Okay. All right.

MATT: So that's the Screech of the Ravaged Mind. Anyone concentrating on spells?

SAM: Oh, yes.

MATT: At the moment?

SAM: I am.

LIAM: Hex, but you said--

MATT: Hex?

LIAM: I don't know.

MATT: Oh yeah, so roll with disadvantage on constitution saving throws.

SAM: I am.

LIAM: For me, that is a 19.

MATT: With disadvantage?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, you maintain Hex.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: All right.

SAM: I also am concentrating on something. With disadvantage?

MATT: Correct.

SAM: This is constitution save?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: 14.

MATT: 14? You took full 35? Half of that'd be 17, so 17 was the DC, so you drop your spell.

SAM: My Smite.

MATT: I'm sorry.

ROBBIE: (groans)

ASHLEY: Okay. It's okay.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: He can't stop picking his damn nose.

MATT: Both of these hands are going to strike out.

LAURA: Oh, buddy. One of them is going to strike at Dorian, and the other is going to strike at, let's see, he's probably-- Orym, Braius, which of you looks the roughest?

LIAM: I don't know, but I'm slamming my sword into my shield to get its attention.

MATT: I'll say it goes after you then.

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: I'm pointing at Orym. (laughter)

MATT: So attacking Orym. That's going to be a 30 to hit?

LIAM: Yes, sir.

TALIESIN: Oof!

MATT: All right. So the ruinous claw.

TALIESIN: Ooh. Mm.

MATT: Ooh, okay. Take 32 points of slashing damage.

TALIESIN: (groans)

ASHLEY: Oh! Oof!

MATT: And you, Dorian.

ROBBIE: Yep.

MATT: It's a natural 19. It's a crit for the slashing.

LIAM: Ooh!

TRAVIS: Whoa! Mercer!

MATT: So with that--

LAURA: Did you do a disadvantage against Dorian?

MATT: Oh, that's right!

ROBBIE: Oh, that's right! You are so good!

MATT: Good to remember that! That is not a crit. It's still a 24 to hit, though.

ROBBIE: (scoffs)

MATT: Okay. But thank god it's not a crit because it rolled pretty good on damage.

ROBBIE: ♪ Thank you for remembering ♪

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Where are you, Dorian?

ROBBIE: Right up in the--

SAM: He's grounded.

ROBBIE: -- up in the mix.

MATT: 29 points of slashing damage.

ROBBIE: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay.

MATT: Then, yeah, its Miracle Devour has (whooshes) flared up. All right, finishing its go, Fearne, you're up, with Braius on deck.

ASHLEY: All right. Am I within the 30 feet of the head? Because I wanted to do what we were talking about, we're flavoring, I wanted to try using Flame Blade as my--

MATT: If you want to. Yeah, I mean, you can spend half your movement to get up.

ASHLEY: Half my movement to get up. Okay, so would that--

SAM: You can probably still make it.

ASHLEY: Would that get me close?

MATT: You'd be about 15-ish feet away from it.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: 20 feet.

ASHLEY: Okay, I could make it. All right, so I, for flavor--

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: I want to cast Flame Blade.

MATT: At what level?

ASHLEY: I was thinking 6th-level

TRAVIS: Say it with confidence!

MATT: 6th-level?

TALIESIN: Now is the time.

ASHLEY: 6th-level, 6th-level, 6th-level! All right, all right!

MATT: 6th-level Flame Blade. Okay. So that's going to put it at 5d6? Right?

ASHLEY: Okay.

LIAM: Let's go, Ruidusborn!

ASHLEY: 5d6. Great!

MATT: Is with the damage it would deal.

ASHLEY: With the damage that it would deal.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: Plus, if there's someone within five feet of it, would I also get sneak attack?

SAM: (laughs)

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Let me check.

ASHLEY: I think?

TRAVIS: Who's within five feet?

SAM: Oh, on a spell?

MATT: It is similar--

LAURA: But if it's a melee--

MATT: You create a blade that is similar size and shape to scimitar. It's a melee spell attack. I think RAW, it would be weird about it, but it makes sense to me. I'm going to allow it.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: You can sneak attack on this if you can make it work out. Because you're using your action to attack with it once, so if you manage to hit, I think a little sneak attack damage makes sense. Especially for a druid-rogue with a pretty heavy investment in rogue. Yeah, that makes sense to me.

ASHLEY: Okay. Okay. Okay. So. So.

MATT: So you cast Flame Blade.

LAURA: Roll to hit.

ASHLEY: I'm going to roll the hit.

MATT: 15 feet will get you right, yep, right up into melee with it.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: If you want to describe to me how you apparate your Flame Blade, please.

ASHLEY: All right, so as I'm trying to get up--

LIAM: If you step away, you will lose protection. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't step away. Just, I'm letting you know. If you stand right in front of me, you'll keep it. But in order to get the sneak attack, she has to be in--

MATT: In order to even attack it, you have to get into melee.

LIAM: Yeah, okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: Do what you're going to do.

ASHLEY: That's okay. I got to do what I got to do. All right, I'm going to take a hit. Come on! Just work! That's cocked.

MATT: (laughs) We begin.

ASHLEY: I know.

LAURA: (gasps)

ASHLEY: Natural 20.

ROBBIE: Yeah! (cheering)

ASHLEY: Oh my god!

ROBBIE: ♪ Tonight's the night ♪

MATT: Holy shit! You can read that dice!

ASHLEY: It's a real. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I know! Yes! I didn't roll the other one! Okay. Okay.

MATT: Fuck! Okay.

TRAVIS: Don't anybody scare her! No loud noises! Don't scare her!

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: Okay. I'm allowing it because your friends are currently engaged in melee with your target. You will get sneak attack on this. What's your sneak attack at on your current level?

ASHLEY: (unsure noise)

SAM: Features and traits.

ASHLEY: I think it's 3d6.

TRAVIS: That's three.

LIAM: Features and traits.

ASHLEY: ♪ Features and traits ♪ Where are you? Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

MATT: It's okay. It's okay.

ASHLEY: Here it is. Oh, you can deal an extra 4d6. Okay, okay. So it'll be an additional four on top of, okay, okay.

SAM: So it's 9d6?

MATT: That would be 9d6 plus whatever additional damage you deal. Because it is flame damage. So you do an additional--

ASHLEY: So--

LIAM: Double all the dice.

ASHLEY: Then I get a d8 because I'm on fire. Then a d8 because of Enhanced Bond.

SAM: You double all those or just the--

LAURA: You double all the rolled dice.

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: All of it, even the eights?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: You double everything.

ASHLEY: Oh my gosh.

MATT: That is epic as fuck. All right, let's go.

TALIESIN: You dropped your baby tooth. It's right there.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

SAM: Is it supposed to be in there?

LIAM: Yeah, because it came out of out her.

ASHLEY: I'm using it. I'm using it, okay. All right, okay, okay, okay, okay. All right, all right, all right. We got a few sixes here. All right, we got, okay. 12, 18, 19.

MATT: Druid sneak attacking on the boss battle, I love it.

ASHLEY: 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29. 29 plus eight is 37.

LAURA: 37 doubled.

MATT: 37 doubled is going to be 74 points of fire damage.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

LAURA: That's great.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay. (panting)

MATT: So as you walk up to it, your blade of rippling fire tearing out of your hand. Summoned there, you focus the Ruidusborn tether between the two of you. As you do, you can almost sense where it's weakest, where its gathered collar around its chest would stand. Much of the crystalline that has defended itself there has been carved away previously by your friends. But you slice into it hard and carve upward doing a heavy impact of fiery damage that burns up and singes the sides of the crystal. You are deft at this blade. It seems like your druidic and your rogue sides have definitely coalesced into a terrifying entity.

ASHLEY: (hoots delightedly)

MATT: It's looking pretty rough.

TRAVIS: Uh-huh.

MARISHA: Its head is looking rough.

TRAVIS: ♪ Fire knife ♪

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay. That's good.

MATT: That's your bonus action, your action, your movement. Because you, not using your bonus action, Mister can attack, correct?

ASHLEY: Mister can attack.

LAURA: No. Because you used your bonus action.

MATT: Bonus action makes him attack, right? Or is it, does he attack on his own?

ASHLEY: He attacks on on his--

LAURA: Is he a separate initiative?

ASHLEY: I think he's a separate initiative.

MATT: Right, right after you use it.

ASHLEY: But we've been keeping him, yeah, on my initiative.

MATT: Then go for it. Go on and roll for him.

ASHLEY: Roll for him.

MATT: The bonus action usually is teleport stuff. That's what it is.

ASHLEY: Yeah. That doesn't hit.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: But that finishes your go.

ASHLEY: Oh, okay.

MATT: Not a bad round, Fearne.

LAURA: It's good. This is good.

MARISHA: It's on death's door.

MATT: Braius, you're up.

MARISHA: Kicking ass.

SAM: I'm going? He's not doing anything? Okay. I'm going to, even if it costs me a hit, I will stride up to the Predathos head and swing away.

MATT: All right.

SAM: I'm going to--

MATT: You-- no you'll still be within, you will be leaving combat range of this hand. If you want to take a strike?

SAM: Fine. I'll take a strike.

MATT: All right. It goes ahead and swipes at you from behind. 22.

SAM: That's my armor class.

MATT: So it does hit you. The ruinous claw rakes the back of your armor for 26 points of slashing damage.

SAM: Okay. Ow. I will bonus action... renew that Staggering Smite. I'm using a 5th-level slot for that.

LAURA: Oh god.

SAM: And take one swing. Come on work, work with me.

SAM: And take one swing. Come on work, work with me. 17 plus 13, 30 hits?

MATT: It's a hit, 30 hits.

SAM: I'm using a 3rd-level Divine Smite.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: That's, is that 4d8 or 3d8?

MATT: That'd be 4d8.

SAM: 4d8. Okay. So 4d6 and 6d8.

MATT: Correct.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: Come on. Come on.

SAM: Here comes. Terrible. 10. Oh wait, that's an eight. That's 20. Then another two, 28, plus another 16 is 44 plus seven is 51.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Then the second strike, I don't really have anything else. I have one spell left that I could do Divine Smite on. I'll do, oh, this-- he's looking rough, right?

ASHLEY: Balls to the wall.

MARISHA: Yeah. Go for it.

SAM: I will use my last 5th-level spell for Divine Smite. If I hit. Can I choose after I hit?

MATT: Huh? You can choose afterward.

SAM: Okay. Ooh, that's terrible. (laughter)

SAM: Ooh, don't look at me. That's a 15.

MATT: That's going to miss, unfortunately. One heavy impact that splatters black and red across the front of Predathos. The other one, it slips out of your grasp and flips in the air and lands on the ground next to you.

TRAVIS: It was so cool.

SAM: My god hungers, too.

TALIESIN: There we are.

MATT: All righty. That finishes your go.

LAURA: God, everybody's around him. (fake sobs)

MATT: End of your turn.

MARISHA: Everyone is around him.

MATT: End of your turn. It's going to spend two Legendary Actions to use Maw of the Red End.

ROBBIE: What's that?

LIAM: It's how the campaign ends.

MATT: Bunch of you guys are in melee.

TRAVIS: MOTRE.

MARISHA: Oh no.

MATT: It's going to go ahead-- It's coming after you, Ashton.

TALIESIN: Melee means-- yeah, okay, go ahead.

LAURA: Yeah, melee means, yeah.

MATT: Yeah. It's going to come at you. The mouth spins around and then comes down at you for, that's a natural 20.

ALL: (groaning)

ASHLEY: No!

SAM: Silvery Barbs.

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Wait, is he close to me?

MATT: He is.

LAURA: Yeah, he's right next to you.

MATT: He's 20 feet from you.

ASHLEY: Silvery Barbs!

MARISHA: (shrieks)

MATT: You have Silvery Barbs?

ASHLEY: I got Silvery Barbs, dude, with my level of rogue. Can I use it?

MATT: Yes you, well--

LAURA: Is that how you do it?

MARISHA: It's a reaction.

MATT: It's a reaction, which you get back on your turn.

ASHLEY: Yes! Did I get it back? I get it back.

MARISHA: Yes!

MATT: So it's not a crit, it's still 24. But it's not a crit.

SAM: Silvery Barb it down.

MARISHA: Witches be bitchin'!

ASHLEY: Witches be bitchin'!

MATT and TRAVIS: (laugh)

MATT: Three PCs with Silvery Barbs is great. (laughter) Next campaign, all your enemies--

ASHLEY: Kicking him out. No, no, no.

MATT: No, that's awesome. That's awesome. All right, cool. So it's a regular hit, I believe, right? 24, I think it was?

TALIESIN: That's a hit.

LAURA: You can transfer that crit to somebody else, or you can give advantage?

SAM: You can give advantage.

LAURA: Marisha?

MATT: Just an army.

TRAVIS: I wasn't going to do anything anyway.

MATT: 14 mages are like, "Nope, nope, nope, na-nope, nope, nope, nope."

TRAVIS: Normal, normal, normal.

ASHLEY: You have advantage. But all my--

LAURA: Give it to Chetney.

ASHLEY: So that would use a 2nd-level because my first--

LAURA: Oh yeah, definitely.

TALIESIN: Really? That's a lot of dice.

MATT: 8d8.

TALIESIN: Oh my god.

MARISHA: 8d8.

LIAM: End of the world battle, y'all.

MATT: That's going to be 42 points of piercing damage.

TALIESIN: Halved.

MATT: Halved to 21.

TALIESIN: Okay. 21.

MATT: I need you to make a strength saving throw for me.

MARISHA: Silvery Barbs fucking saved it, then. That saved it. If that was a crit--

TALIESIN: 26.

MATT: 26 is a success. It chomps down on you and you watch Ashton vanish in its jaws, and then suddenly the jaws push apart and you see Ashton with the hammer, pushing the jaws.

ASHLEY: Oh, yes!

MATT: Before eventually leaping out and they slam behind you and you catch your feet once more.

ASHLEY: Yes!

LAURA: Now you use it.

ASHLEY: Okay, you have advantage.

TALIESIN: Good to know. Thank you.

MATT: All righty.

ASHLEY: Ooh!

MATT: Dorian, you're up, with Chetney on deck.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

ROBBIE: So can I ask a question?

SAM: Nope.

MATT: Sure.

ROBBIE: All right, so if he engaged with him and ate Ashton, where-- but he got spat out, where would he be spat out? In the same spot or would he spit him forward where his--

MATT: The head would've turned towards him, technically.

ROBBIE: Okay.

MATT: So I would say, yeah. So he eventually avoided being swallowed.

ROBBIE: Okay. So he's still in the same spot.

MATT: Correct.

ROBBIE: You're still up?

TALIESIN: I'm kind of.

LIAM: Yeah, barely.

TALIESIN: Like, hilariously barely.

LIAM: Bleeding out the ears, eyes, nose.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah. No, it's all--

MARISHA: Are you holding its jaw open?

LAURA: You're still on the ground, you avoided it.

TALIESIN: I'm still on the ground, but like, it's caught, but I look like the Thing, it's all cracks. There's glass starting to come out of every fucking point.

LAURA: They're both single digits.

ROBBIE: I know. I'm trying to get everybody in one.

TALIESIN: I look like gravel at this point.

ROBBIE: No, I want to heal everybody in one go, but it's too far.

ASHLEY: Are you trying to kill us?

TALIESIN: It's okay.

ROBBIE: Yeah. Is Imogen gone off the--

LAURA: I'm Blinked out.

MATT: Imogen is vanished off the map.

ROBBIE: Okay, cool.

TALIESIN: Just kill the damn thing.

ROBBIE: Cool. Then I'll stay where I'm at.

MATT: Let me say, he's looking rough.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

MATT: Not like, extremely rough. But looking rough.

LAURA: More rough than not rough.

TALIESIN: Not as rough as I am.

ASHLEY: He's looking rough like he's hit him.

LIAM: He's looking rough for something stronger than gods.

ROBBIE: Okay. So I'll stay where I'm at. For my bonus action, I'll turn to Ashton and say: That was great, that was so cool. I'll do Healing Word again.

MATT: Okay.

ROBBIE: Yeah, at 3rd-level this time.

TALIESIN: Okay.

ROBBIE: Sorry.

TALIESIN: Oh no, I would rather-- I was going to say do damage.

ROBBIE: 15 and I get one more because it's six. 17 points, no, no, I'm sorry. 17 plus three. So 20.

MATT: You heal 20 hit points.

TALIESIN: Okay.

ASHLEY: That's for everybody?

MATT: That's for--

LAURA: That's just for Ashton.

ASHLEY: No, no, no, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine. Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry.

ROBBIE: Everybody's position's wrong.

TALIESIN: No, we're all weird.

ROBBIE: Cool, and then for my turn, I'll start hacking away again.

TALIESIN: You're within 10 feet of me, you get a d4 to add to your attacks.

MATT: So add d4 to each of your attacks.

ROBBIE: Okay.

MATT: You have advantage on these, don't forget.

MARISHA: What the fuck? What the fuck?!

TRAVIS: Whoa!

MARISHA: Hot table, hot table!

MATT: Didn't even have to roll advantage on that.

ROBBIE: Nat 20 on that one.

MATT: All right, let's go.

ROBBIE: Not great. So eight doubled, 16.

MATT: You need to add your Blade Flourish to that as well?

ROBBIE: I'm going to do it on my second attack I think.

TALIESIN: Not this one?

ROBBIE: Oh wait, no, wait.

MATT: Because it doubles on the crit.

ROBBIE: It would double, too. Then I will do my Blade Flourish. I'll do the Defensive Flourish again. So another six.

MATT: Okay.

ROBBIE: So yeah, 22 on that one.

MATT: Great.

ROBBIE: Then I'll do my second attack.

MATT: Let's go. You have advantage on these, too. Don't forget.

ROBBIE: Okay, that's right.

TALIESIN: And a d4.

ROBBIE: Okay. Need it. 16, 13, 29.

MATT: 29 hits. Go and roll damage to that second attack.

ROBBIE: Let's do it. Dogshit.

MATT: Rolling these ones, ugh.

ROBBIE: And eight.

MATT: Eight points of damage, still that's 30 points of damage.

ROBBIE: 30 total.

MATT: Bard combat damage, and some healing to your friend over here. Ashton, holding on a little better. You want to stay put or you want to move?

ROBBIE: No baby, I'm in the mix. I'm staying put.

MATT: Let's go. All right, that finishes your go.

ROBBIE: Yep.

MATT: All righty. Chetney, you're up.

TRAVIS: I'm running, I'm using my Boots of Speed with my 80 feet of distance and I'm booking it towards Ashton and I'm going to hand off with my bonus action--

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: This health potion. Can I do that on a bonus action? Can I hand it off?

MATT: I'll allow it. Yeah. You can run past and do that.

TALIESIN: Oh shit.

TRAVIS: I'll keep moving and I'm going to stay within 10 feet of him, but I'm going to come on the opposite side and flank with Braius.

SAM: Does that work?

MATT: To flank Braius you will leave his 10 foot radius.

TRAVIS: I'll leave the 10 foot radius and flank.

MATT: Sam, if you would be so kind as to, or Robbie, if you could move Chetney, on that axis there. Thank you.

TRAVIS: I'm going to take two swipes with Turmoil.

SAM: Christine!

LAURA and ASHLEY: (laugh)

SAM: Christine, what do I do?!

TRAVIS: It's a 29 to hit on the first.

MATT: That hits.

TRAVIS: A 18, 28 to hit on the second.

MATT: All right, you know what, it's going to reaction to Commence Glass to add 20 more temporary hit points. Keep forgetting that psychic damage that's on it. So you take nine points of psychic damage.

TRAVIS: Nine points, 12 plus six is 18. Oh, I don't get the d4. It's 19 points of damage with a d8 of thunder. Five, so 10 points of thunder damage. The second one is-- oh, that's great! Nine, 15 plus six is, (laughs) I know, 21 points of damage.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: With ah, five, another 10 points of thunder damage.

MATT: 31, great. That's almost 60 points of damage in one round. Hell yeah.

TRAVIS: That's it. And I stay there.

MATT: All right. That finishes your go. The 20 kicks in. Go ahead and roll.

LAURA: God, more hands.

MATT: All righty. That's going to be three. So this one, it's going to go ahead and yeah, I'm going to move this hand, and over.

LAURA: Oh god. Oh, you killed Chetney.

LIAM: You killed an old man.

LAURA: You smooshed him. This is a big mat, Matt.

SAM: ♪ These hands are small, I know ♪

LAURA: Would you like some help?

LIAM: Those arms are magnetic, is there metal hiding underneath all this?

MATT: There are magnets hiding within there to keep them in place.

ROBBIE: There are magnets within!

MATT: (laughs)

ROBBIE: It was the secret of Predathos.

TALIESIN: Magnets everywhere!

ROBBIE: Magnets!

MATT: You know this now. All righty. Imogen, you pop into place where?

LAURA: Within 10 feet of my last position.

MATT: All righty, you want to go this way? This way? Where do you want to--

LAURA: I will move--

LIAM: Come on witch.

ASHLEY: Come on.

LAURA: Right here.

MATT: All right, so I'll move this.

LIAM: Bad witch.

ASHLEY: Are you a good witch, or a bad bitch?

LIAM: She's a bad bitch.

LAURA: Okay, how far, 30 feet, can that get to the head? My little blade? Is that 30 feet away from the head?

MATT: Let's find out. 30 feet. It cannot.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: You can get almost that way.

LAURA: Well, I don't know if I want to move that for my bonus action if I can't. Let's hold that for now.

MATT: Okay. You want to hold that?

LAURA: 5th-level Transmuted Lightning Bolt. Come on baby.

SAM: Yep.

TRAVIS: (whispers) I healed three hit points at the start of my turn.

LAURA: Going down my things.

MATT: Okay, so it is a five-foot arc.

LAURA: Oh shit.

TALIESIN: Can you aim up, though?

LAURA: Could I?

MATT: If you want to aim up, I say there's a chance you miss the head. So I'll say either you can choose to hit Dorian or Fearne with it and definitely hit the head and the arm. Or you can roll to see if you possibly miss the head but still hit the arm.

ASHLEY: Do it.

LAURA: No.

TALIESIN: Or see if you can find a better angle by moving.

LAURA: I'm going to get a better angle.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Because the head is important.

LAURA: Yeah, the head is more important. So I'm going to shimmy to here.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: No, I'm going to shimmy--

LIAM: I forgot that I regenerate a hit point every round because of Seedling. I'm going to give myself two hit points.

MATT: Go for it.

TRAVIS: Me too, I did, too.

LAURA: So I'm going to go, I'm going to say I Blinked to here.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Blonk. Because that's 10 feet from where I had been.

MATT: Sure. I'll allow it.

LAURA: Then I'll move 30 feet, which can I assume is here?

MATT: You may, yeah. You will take out, you'll take an opportunity attack to move that far.

LAURA: But I'm 30 feet.

MATT: So you're moving 30. Okay, yeah. So you're just barely within 30 feet.

LAURA: But I want to be somewhere where I can hit the head without hitting allies.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Dexterity saving throw. That's going to be a 24.

LAURA: That succeeds. Okay.

MATT: I assume this is Lightning Bolt as you said, right?

LAURA: Transmuted. Yeah.

MATT: Transmuted. Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah, so it's a success. So it is full damage.

LAURA: Okay. So one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10.

LIAM: Transmutation immunity.

LAURA: Because that's 5th-level.

MATT: Transmute to thunder is nasty in this fight.

LAURA: 10, 16, 24, 28.

SAM: Oh wow.

LAURA: 30 points.

ASHLEY: Doubled.

LAURA: No, no, no, it's not doubled, because he saved, so it's just 30.

MATT: So it's 30 points of thunder damage, strikes through, blasted crystals go exploding. You see the eyes now are glowing more furious as it's breaking off. And more chunks of damage are there. There's panic and fury in its face, as part of its head crest start cracking and falling off.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Come on, head crests.

LIAM: Way to go, Dark Phoenix.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: Does that finish your turn?

LAURA: No!

MATT: (laughs) Okay. I'm just checking in.

TRAVIS: The Ethereal Plane, man. Makes her crazy. That, and not eating.

LAURA: I am going to, like this is going to work. That's dumb.

SAM: Faerie Fire!

LIAM: (like Jester) I pull out a Celebone!

LAURA: Okay, you know what I'm going to do?

MATT: What you going to do?

LAURA: All right, I'm going to use a sorcery point.

MATT: Yeah?

LAURA: Another one. I'm going to Shocking Grasp it at a distance.

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: I'm going to use another sorcery point to transmute that into thunder damage as well.

MATT: Let's go.

LIAM: Wow.

LAURA: So I'm going to try to hit the Shocking Grasp.

MATT: Roll an attack, girl.

ASHLEY: Come on.

MATT: Let's go.

LIAM: Shock him in the gooch.

LAURA: Come on. Whoa, whoa, whoa! 20.

MATT: 20 is going to miss, unfortunately.

TALIESIN: Fuck.

ASHLEY: Dang it.

LAURA: Fucking hell!

MATT: That was a good try. It was a good try.

LAURA: All right, all right, all right, all right. Then I'm going to--

MATT: You're going to roll?

LAURA: -- see if I blink. Yes, I blink!

MATT: You blink again!

LAURA: I rolled a 12.

MATT: Fucking Blink, man.

LAURA: Ha la la la!

MATT: All right. Put this in place of your piece there.

LAURA: Bloop!

TALIESIN: That was some nuts shit. That was nuts.

MATT: All right. Finishes Imogen's go. Ashton.

LAURA: Sorry, that wasn't as good as--

TALIESIN: It's okay.

LIAM: Break it!

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: You didn't die.

TALIESIN: Fuck it all.

TRAVIS: Yep.

TALIESIN: There I am. I'm going to--

TRAVIS: F.I.A.

LIAM: Fuck it up to the tempo.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm just going to take-- I'm going to find the biggest crack I can and I'm going to start whaling with the hammer again.

MATT: Go for it.

SAM: That's what she said. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I have advantage on this first hit, anyway.

MATT: Right. So you're not doing reckless?

TALIESIN: Probably a bad idea to do reckless.

MATT: Sure, go for it.

TALIESIN: So.

TRAVIS: You said probably a bad idea. So you're doing it?

TALIESIN: No, I said I get advantage on my first hit.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah.

MATT: Yeah, because of Silvery Barbs.

TALIESIN: Which doesn't matter, because that's a nat 20 anyway. (uproarious cheering)

TRAVIS: Going down swinging!

ASHLEY: Yes!

MARISHA: Come on, baby!

MATT: Silvery Barbs-- No, I can't. I can't.

MARISHA: Let's go!

TALIESIN: One, two.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Where are the rest of my d6s? Oh, here they are.

TRAVIS: Oh my god! Come on!

TALIESIN: One, two, three, four.

TRAVIS: (buzzes lips)

TALIESIN: I've gone up the number of D. Okay, so two. I actually-- Can I borrow 1d6 really quick?

LIAM: Yes, you may.

TALIESIN: Thank you. I'm also going to burn a Chaos Burst into this.

MATT: Okay. So roll the first 2d6 and double that.

LIAM: It's a Bad Idea, So I'm Going to Do It: The Ashton Greymoore Story. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Okay, so 2d6 is the--

TRAVIS: People told me not to, so I did.

TALIESIN: That's nine points.

MATT: So 18 and add that.

TALIESIN: And now the rage damage.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: Rage.

TALIESIN: Six, 10. That's 14.

MATT: 14. So that'd be 32.

TALIESIN: 32, and now I'm going to do-- Where's my d8? Let's do some-- Come on, big money. I'll take cold. Whatever. Cold damage. (laughter)

MATT: Okay. (laughs)

TALIESIN: Where's my d10? Then seven points of cold damage.

MATT: Okay, so 39 points of damage on that strike.

TALIESIN: Then add the standard number for it. Which is 15 points--

MATT: Right.

TALIESIN: -- on top of that.

MATT: Okay, so--

ASHLEY: Wow.

MATT: -- 54 points of damage.

SAM: Damn!

LAURA: Nice.

MATT: Heavy, heavy crit! (heavy hammer swing) A blast of energy, multicolor elemental impact scatter across its broken crystal. A massive chunk of its neck rough and its open exterior armor is shattered and exposed and underneath, you can see the now dark, bleeding ruination that is around the sides of its head from where you've all been blasting away at it.

TALIESIN: So I forgot, but now I remember. I hit a crit, which means everyone gets advantage until the end of my next turn.

MATT: That's right.

ROBBIE: Nice!

ASHLEY: Whoa!

TALIESIN: So here we go with advantage.

ASHLEY: Nice!

MARISHA: Oh damn!

MATT: What is that ability? That's Thief of Defeat, right?

TALIESIN: Yeah, it's "All attack rolls against that creature are made with advantage until the start of your next turn."

MATT: That's so good.

SAM: Dirty.

TALIESIN: It's so dirty.

MARISHA: It's so dirty.

TALIESIN: No, not a crit. But it hits 17, 27, 31 to hit.

MATT: 31 to hit. All righty.

TALIESIN: Yeah, we're getting to the point. I'll burn another Chaos Burst into this because we need another point.

MATT: How many do you have left now?

TALIESIN: Now I have one left.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: So we're going to do--

LAURA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: That's six-- No, it's upside down. Nine points of acid damage.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: And, ew. Eight, 23 points of bludgeoning damage.

MATT: All right, great.

TALIESIN: (heavy hammer hits)

ASHLEY: Dang.

MATT: Cool. All righty. Two heavy swings into it. (grunts) Tired and broken, still--

TALIESIN: Do I bother?

MATT: -- standing resolute.

TALIESIN: (sighs)

ASHLEY: Bother.

LAURA: Bother what?

SAM: Probably not worth it.

TALIESIN: Do you think this is another round or no? Do you think I'm going to get to one more round?

TRAVIS: I mean--

LIAM: Who knows?

LAURA: You might.

ROBBIE: We don't know anything.

MARISHA: I don't think this is the final--

LIAM: You might get squished in a second.

TALIESIN: Fuck it then.

LIAM: Still got power.

TALIESIN: I'm using my bonus action to burn my Shard of Ka'Mort. I am turning entirely into crystal. My body starts to go and I am a diamond.

MATT: For how long?

TALIESIN: For one round.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA and LIAM: Ooh.

SAM: Oh.

ASHLEY: Cool.

TRAVIS: I don't know what that does.

LAURA: That's great. Are you invulnerable for a round?

TALIESIN: Yep, I'm entirely invulnerable 'til the end of my next round.

ASHLEY: Cool.

ROBBIE: Are you now--

ASHLEY: Cool.

ROBBIE: -- technically a construct?

TALIESIN: I don't know.

MATT: I do not think so.

TALIESIN: I'm also going to move--

LAURA: Did I scare you?

TALIESIN: -- over here to cover as many people with my 1d4 as humanly possible.

MATT: Okay. So that would be-- There it would get to Braius, Fearne, and Dorian.

SAM: That's me!

TALIESIN: Perfect. Everyone gets a d4.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: All right, that finishes your go, Ashton.

TALIESIN: Attacks and saves.

SAM: Oh, great.

TALIESIN: And everyone's got advantage.

LAURA: Oh my god!

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: A construct can't be--

ROBBIE: My hands are so greasy!

MATT: At the end of your turn.

TRAVIS: Oh shit, oh shit, oh, shit.

MATT: Let's see here.

LAURA: He caught it. He caught it.

ROBBIE: No, I didn't.

MARISHA: Where'd it go?

LAURA: Oh, you didn't?

ROBBIE: It's somewhere.

MARISHA: Oh, here it is.

LAURA: I thought you were really dextrous, but you aren't.

ROBBIE: Sometimes (laughs)

LIAM: He's about to hurt us.

LAURA: It really looked to me like you caught it.

TRAVIS: They have disadvantage.

LIAM: He's about to fuck us up.

LAURA: Yeah, no. He's going to.

MATT: Okay, yeah.

ROBBIE: (baffled chuckle)

SAM: He can't do anything. He's stumped. Look at him.

LAURA: Yeah, everybody is around him.

SAM: Look at him.

TALIESIN: Apologies for that.

SAM: He's like: Oh no. I can only hit them if they're far away.

MATT: All right. It's going to attack Dorian because he's the only one that's in range.

ROBBIE: (laughs nervously)

MATT: All right, that's going to be--

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: -- 25 to hit?

ROBBIE: (gawks) Yeah.

MATT: 26, sorry.

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: The hand, or is this the head?

MATT: This is the long hand that's slamming over in that direction.

SAM: The hand of the law.

ROBBIE: None of my Defensive Flourishes helped me at all.

MATT: That's going to be 31 points of slashing damage against you as it claws you and slams you into the ground. You pull away as it gashes across your back.

TRAVIS: Not Dorian, you bastards!

MATT: You can feel your shoulders warm from the blood as it begins to flow forth.

LAURA: Did you roll with disadvantage?

MATT: That's true. Oh, it's even higher. Yeah, we're good. (laughter)

MATT: But thanks. That's a good reminder, though. All right.

ROBBIE: Why can't I remember?

MATT: So finishing that go, Laudna you're up, with Orym on deck.

ROBBIE: Dis--

MARISHA: So we all have advantage now?

TALIESIN: On attacks.

MARISHA: That changes things.

MATT: On attacks against it.

MARISHA: Because now-- Fuck!

TALIESIN: You don't have to take it.

MARISHA: No! I'm at a funny point where my Eldritch Blast, theoretically, can do more damage than my 8th-level spells--

TRAVIS: Are you bragging?

MARISHA: -- because of this. Just a little bit. (cocky laugh)

MATT: Let's go.

TALIESIN: Good humblebrag.

ASHLEY: Get it.

ROBBIE: That's a good building.

MATT: Ooh, you know what? Actually, at the end of--

LIAM: You gave him too much time to think, Marisha!

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Well, I didn't-- What?

LAURA: You can't let him think!

ROBBIE: You bragged! You bragged!

MATT: At the end of-- (laughter)

MARISHA: Goddamn it.

MATT: At the end of Ashton's turn--

MATT: Thanks, Keyleth.

MATT: I do have one more legendary action to do. (laughter)

MATT: It's going to Telekinetic Vacuum you, Laudna.

LAURA: No!

MATT: Make a strength saving throw for me, please.

ASHLEY: What?

LIAM: Oh shit!

MARISHA: Wait. Why?

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: Because I realized I had a legendary action left here that I could've used at the end of that turn.

TRAVIS: Hair flip, hair flip. Distract, hair flip.

MARISHA: Why?

TRAVIS: Blink. Hair flip.

LIAM: We were so safe and comfortable before that.

MARISHA: What if I pop out a titty? (laughter)

MATT: I've already seen it.

TRAVIS: Oh! (laughter)

MATT: Strength saving throw.

MARISHA: Okay. (laughter)

MARISHA: I'm going to use my Beau die because my Beau die didn't fail me last time.

MATT: Not complaining, but--

MARISHA: What if I do this twice? What if I do this twice? Natural 20!

ROBBIE and MARISHA: Oh!

SAM: So close.

ROBBIE: Pretty good, though.

MARISHA: It was actually really close!

TRAVIS: It was thinking about it.

MARISHA: But then you realize my strength is minus two saving throw, so 13.

MATT: That's a failure, unfortunately.

ASHLEY: Oh no.

MATT: You get plucked up (whoosh) and pulled over--

MARISHA: Ah!

LAURA: Oh god!

MATT: -- into melee with--

LAURA: Oh god, he's after you.

MATT: -- Predathos.

ROBBIE: That's okay.

LAURA: Kill him.

LIAM: I don't know where--

MATT: So now you can take your turn.

MARISHA: That's fine. That's fine. I am going to--

SAM: Hi, Laudna.

LIAM: Feels right.

SAM: Is now a good time to talk? (laughter)

MARISHA: I have my painting as a breastplate right now.

TRAVIS: Breastplate with a long name?

MARISHA: Yeah. I'm going to teleport. I'm going to Shadow Walker as my bonus action and teleport.

SAM: She's a day walker.

MATT: There isn't a shadow for you to step into that close to its glowing mass.

LAURA: Oh, because it's glowing.

MATT: You need a shadow to step into.

MARISHA: Is his mouth open?

MATT: No, his mouth is currently closed. The inside of his throat is glowing as well. I've been describing it a few times that way.

LAURA: That was a good--

ASHLEY: That was a good question.

LAURA: That was a good question.

MATT: That was a good call.

ASHLEY: Is his mouth open?

MATT: But the limitations of this is you have to find a shadow to step into, and he pulled you right out into the open.

TRAVIS: Legit.

MATT: Intentionally.

MARISHA: So nothing 30 feet? No. Not really.

MATT: Not large enough to step into.

MARISHA: Or dim light?

MATT: What's it say for this ability specifically?

MARISHA: It says, dim light. This is new. This is a new thing. I apologize.

LAURA, LIAM, and TRAVIS: (drawled) I apologize.

MARISHA: When I'm in dim light or darkness, as a bonus action I can magically teleport to a space in dim light.

MATT: Right. Yeah, so you'd have to get behind something with some sort of a shadow to cast because this close to its radius, it's going to be a glowing, natural light.

MARISHA: Okay then. New plan.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Run.

LIAM: Kill it.

LAURA: My knees are--

MATT: His head is the source of the light in this chamber, aside from the crystals around there.

ROBBIE: My hip. Same. (laughs)

MARISHA: New plan.

TRAVIS: Nothing like pulling a player towards the target and then fucking them up. (laughs)

MARISHA: I don't want to fuck anybody.

SAM: That's what she said. (laughter)

MATT: And good for her.

LAURA: (laughs) Yeah.

TRAVIS: Good one, Braius!

MARISHA: What's his reach? It's right up on him? I don't want to leave his melee range.

MATT: For the head?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Five feet.

LAURA: Oh, that's it? Five feet.

LIAM: (reaching chomps)

LAURA: (chomping)

MATT: It's a bite. (laughs) So it's not massive.

LAURA: (tiny chomps)

LIAM: (struggling chomps)

LAURA: Just imagine if he has an itch. So annoying.

MATT: He can reach it with that hand.

LAURA: That's true.

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Both of them are like--

MATT: (satisfying scratch)

MARISHA: I'm going to Quicken Spell.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Directly behind me, five feet so I can, (shifts) five feet. Darkness.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Oh!

ASHLEY: Cool.

MATT: Okay. (laughs) Damn it!

LIAM: (laughs) (laughter)

ASHLEY: Well done.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ROBBIE: All right.

ASHLEY: Well done.

LAURA: Wait, wait. Wait though.

LIAM: Wait.

MATT: Wait.

LAURA: Because it's a bonus action when you quicken it.

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

LAURA: Then is it a bonus action to step into the shadow?

MARISHA: It is a bonus action to teleport. You're right.

MATT: Mm.

SAM: What's it called? Shadow Step?

MARISHA: You're right.

MATT: You could still do it, but it'll be your action and bonus action.

ROBBIE and MARISHA: (sigh)

MATT: What do you want to do?

TRAVIS: ♪ (vocalizes battle music) ♪

MATT: What you want to do? That's a really smart move.

LAURA: That is a really smart move.

ASHLEY: That is a really smart move.

MATT: Defensively, to get out of there. But also, that's your turn.

MARISHA: Right.

MATT: So it's up to you.

MARISHA: Okay. No, I'm not going to do that.

TRAVIS: ♪ No ♪

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: ♪ No ♪

MARISHA: New plan.

ROBBIE: No!

MARISHA: New plan.

TRAVIS: ♪ But I won't do that ♪

MARISHA: He still has a legendary save, too, doesn't he? I'm pretty sure he does. I'm going to shift.

TRAVIS: He's got a fourth, I think.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: I was trying to explain to my kids what Meatloaf is.

MARISHA: I'm going to cast-- (groans)

SAM: He was a singer. Oh, was he--

MARISHA: Because if I step back five feet, then I still get my range.

MATT: You do, but he will get an opportunity attack.

MARISHA: But you said he has a five-foot--

MATT: Five-foot, meaning you're up against him. If you step five feet away from him to get out of his melee, you're out of his melee range.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: He hasn't used a reaction--

MATT: So the longer ranges, you actually have a little more wiggle room. It's the short ranges that are hard to pull away from.

TRAVIS: Matt, is his head made of organic material or is it all crystal based?

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: His face and his head crest and stuff. It's both.

LIAM: He's totally vegan and gluten free.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: Soon you will be gone.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

TRAVIS: Be gone?

MARISHA: I'm sorry.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: (echoing scream)

TRAVIS: You just headbutt my boyfriend so hard he burst.

MARISHA: Fuck!

MATT: God, such a good film.

MARISHA: This ruins so much shit. I'm sorry. Okay, I started out here. I'm going to risk it.

MATT: You started here.

MARISHA: I'm going to risk it. Because I still have Mirror Image. So yeah, I'm going to move away.

MATT: Okay

MARISHA: 30 feet.

MATT: Move yourself away.

ASHLEY: Risk it for the biscuit.

LAURA: Get it.

MATT: Opportunity attack against you because you pulled back. That's going to be 24 to hit.

LAURA: She's got Mirror Image, she's safe.

MARISHA: That hits. Mirror Image. (laughs)

MATT: (groans)

TRAVIS: No!

LAURA: No, it doesn't?

MARISHA: I rolled a five. All I have to do is roll--

ASHLEY: Fuck.

LIAM: Get a six.

MARISHA: -- over that.

MATT: All right, so that's Maw of the Red End.

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: So that's going to be 8d8.

ASHLEY: Damn!

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Oh no!

SAM: Wait-- Oh.

MARISHA: I theoretically should have statistically made this.

LAURA: All the other things-- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Wait! Wait, wait.

TRAVIS, LIAM, and TALIESIN: Wait.

MARISHA: Wait.

ALL: (staggered repeat) Wait.

MARISHA: I have advantage. Mm.

TRAVIS: A walk sign is on.

MARISHA: Does advantage count on this? On Mirror Image? To roll it the-- No.

MATT: No, no. It's 30 points of piercing damage on you. I need you to make a strength saving throw.

LAURA: Oh no!

ROBBIE: Oh, that's right!

LAURA: She's going to be swallowed!

LIAM: It counts on this, on the saving throw.

ASHLEY: Yeah, it does.

MARISHA: I did a risky move because I should've--

ASHLEY: Don't you get a d4 as well?

MATT: Here's a question.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: You get advantage on saving throws for--

SAM: I think she gets Ashton's--

LIAM: From Ashton's--

ASHLEY: From Ashton.

LIAM: -- power move.

MATT: Ashton is attacks against the target.

TALIESIN: Attacks.

LIAM: Just attacks?

LAURA and TALIESIN: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Oh, I thought it was attacks and--

TALIESIN: No, no, no. Just attacks.

ROBBIE: The d4?

ASHLEY: Plus the d4?

ROBBIE: d4?

LAURA: You guys get a d4.

TALIESIN: Only if you're within five feet of me.

ROBBIE: She wasn't close enough?

SAM: She wasn't close enough.

MATT: She's not, unfortunately.

TRAVIS: Did you roll to hit her with this thing?

MATT: I did.

TRAVIS: You did. Can I-- Jesus. Does this work? Can I use my reaction to burn my last curse?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Which is Blood Curse of the Eyeless.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Which, within 30 feet, I can use my reaction roll a 1d10 to subtract the result from the creature's attack roll. I can choose to use this feature after the DM rolls.

MATT: You may.

MARISHA: 1d10?

MATT: So it's a 24.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: You got to roll pretty high.

MARISHA: I still have Shield.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: That's a 10. (excited yelling)

MATT: That reduces it to a 14.

ASHLEY: Oh!

MARISHA: My AC is 15!

TALIESIN: Oh!

ASHLEY: Yes! (laughter)

ASHLEY: Yes!

TRAVIS: I never use that shit!

ROBBIE: Wow!

MATT: I don't know why you haven't used it. It's a great blood curse.

TRAVIS: I don't know. Fucking, I don't know these curses very well!

MATT: But I guess if there was a time to use it, this is it! Because he was about to swallow Laudna!

MARISHA: Oh my god!

LAURA: Oh my god.

SAM: So wait, does that mean that the damage also doesn't happen?

MATT: The damage also does not happen.

LAURA: That means she doesn't get hit.

MARISHA: Oh wait, so I get 30 hit points back.

MATT: Right as you go to run away, it opens its jaws and its neck lunges towards it. You see it shifting, and you--

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: -- conjure what flash of hemocraft you can within and pull back on it. Its eyes flare red and it balks before it could slam its jaws shut. Right as Laudna leaves the range, the teeth (clamp down) slam onto nothing as you continue to run off towards the side of the wall.

MARISHA: Son of a bitch.

LAURA: Chetney!

TRAVIS: Nosebleed. Nosebleed, ear bleed.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Saving the day!

MARISHA: Thank you, Chet!

ASHLEY: Chetters!

MATT: Well done.

TALIESIN: What you got?

LAURA: Chetney's saving everybody.

MARISHA: All right, now I'm going to-- Okay. Jesus, what have I done?

SAM: Nothing.

MARISHA: Nothing. I've just gotten sucked into his mouth.

SAM: Literally, nothing.

LIAM: It's 30 minutes later.

MARISHA: Oh, lord have mercy.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: Whatcha got, Laudna?

LAURA: Now your turn. (laughter)

MARISHA: Eldritch Blast. Now I'm going to Twinned Spell it.

LIAM: Hey!

ASHLEY: Yes, yes.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: This is going to be eight Eldritch Blast.

TALIESIN: With advantage.

MARISHA: With advantage.

MATT: Yep.

ASHLEY: Get it, queen.

MATT: So let's start with the head because that's--

MATT: It's all attacks, not melee attacks, right?

MARISHA: Really what I care about here.

TALIESIN: I'll double check.

LAURA: I heard attacks.

MATT: I heard, too. I'm making sure.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: First one is going to be a 23.

LIAM: Hold on, we're checking the rules on that real quick.

TALIESIN: Attack rolls against the creature.

MATT: Yeah, so 23 hits.

MARISHA: Okay, great. 23.

TRAVIS: Could I amplify it?

ROBBIE: Yeah.

MARISHA: Natural 20, baby.

SAM: Oh shit!

ASHLEY: Yes!

LAURA: (claps)

ROBBIE: Yes, yes.

LAURA: Is this against the head?

MARISHA: Natural 19.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Do we have any type of range there? This is all against the head.

MATT: Oh, hold on a second.

MARISHA: Natural 20 again!

MATT: Hold on! Hold on a second.

MARISHA: What? No!

ROBBIE: Hold.

ASHLEY: Come on.

TRAVIS: Bated breath.

MATT: So Eldritch Blast, technically, cannot be Twinned Spelled. Because it has to have a single target, right? Once it has two blasts, it can't be Twinned Spelled into multiple, otherwise you're just doing eight across the way. So I just double checked.

LAURA: So you didn't twin it and you just hit the head.

MARISHA: I didn't twin it.

MATT: You didn't twin it, but you just did those four.

MARISHA: Fine, and two of them were natural 20s.

MATT: Two of them were natural 20s, which is crazy!

MARISHA: All four hit?

MATT: All four hit against the main head, with two of them being crits. Let's go.

TRAVIS: What the hell?

ASHLEY: Come on. Come on.

MATT: You guys are doing-- You're turning this pretty well.

MARISHA: Okay, let's do the two crits together because why not? (laughs)

MATT: Are you fucking serious? Double nines?

MARISHA: They're double nines. So that's going to be 18 plus 18.

MATT: Yeah, 36.

MARISHA: Plus five and five.

MATT: Right, 46 damage.

MARISHA: So 46 damage for the two crits. For the others-- That's a 10. So another 15.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: This is insane. This is making up for every shitty roll we've ever had.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: And a four. So that's nine. What was that total?

MATT: That's 70 points of damage in an Eldritch Blast cantrip.

LAURA: With a fucking cantrip.

ROBBIE: Yeah, what a save, Chet. (laughs)

MATT: That's heavy. Oh! So describe to me how you--

TRAVIS: Should've used that.

MATT: -- barely dodge being swallowed by this entity and spin around. How do the Eldritch Blasts look as you lob them?

MARISHA: These are getting fucking meaner. They're getting meaner and meaner. As, it's almost me, because I want to use my Disintegrate so bad. So it's essences of his Disintegrate ray as I'm rapid firing them.

MATT: (booming impacts) Each impact, the head's reeling back. That's awesome.

MARISHA: Now, where am I? Am I in shadow now? I'm not. Am I?

MATT: No, you are not.

MARISHA: Fucking tits.

TALIESIN: Take your whole 30, man.

MARISHA: What should do for my bonus action?

MATT: Orym, you're up after this.

MARISHA: Things kind of changed... within me. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Something is... not the same. (Sprinkle) ♪ I'm through with playing by the rules ♪

LAURA: ♪ The rules ♪

TRAVIS: ♪ Of someone else's game ♪

MARISHA: I think that's it, I'm not going to quicken a spell, I'm going to hold onto my points because I'm not in a great place with it right now.

TRAVIS: I'm going to make sure I didn't die after the level up.

MARISHA: I should have Hexed this fucker. Because I don't have anything. You know what, sure, I'll throw a bonus action Hex into it. I should have done that first. Can I say I did that first?

MATT: Nah.

MARISHA: No? That's fine.

TRAVIS: You got the one gimme from me.

MARISHA: Yeah, that's fair.

MATT: He is Hexed. All righty, dual hexed. That finish your turn?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Orym, you're up.

LIAM: With its focus on Laudna as she is fucking it up, Orym spits blood and then starts to streak on an arc around. I'm going to keep my distance though. 15 feet. As he's running, he's slashing the wind and I'm using Seedling's ability to attack from 15 feet back.

ROBBIE: Whoa.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: That's a bad roll. That is 22, which just misses, right?

MATT: 22 just hits.

LIAM: Just hits, okay.

TRAVIS: Come on, baby. Come on, baby!

LIAM: Still hexed, so that is 22 for the first slash. Double 18s on the 20s.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: So that is 17 on the second slash.

MATT: All righty. On the final as he's running, running, running, 17 plus lots. So final that is seven plus, is 18. I will end, if I can, even further around so I'm not in a line with Laudna for a Kaiju laser.

MATT: You got it, that's about far as you can get there.

LIAM: Yeah. Okay.

MATT: All right, That finishes your turn?

LIAM: Donezo.

MATT: Finishing your go, it is now Predathos' turn.

SAM: Pre-dah-thos.

ROBBIE and TRAVIS: (groans)

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Furious. Hurting.

ROBBIE: What?

MATT: Its massive Kaiju form, looking tough, let's see if it gets that back.

LAURA: (groans)

MATT: Yes. All right, so it gets back its--

MARISHA: You're celebrating.

ROBBIE: She's brutal.

MATT: -- Shriek of Oblivion. The head-- (rumbling)

SAM: Oh.

TRAVIS: Oh no.

MATT: -- burrows down below.

LAURA: No.

ASHLEY: No.

MATT: If you could move that rock out of the way for me if you don't mind.

LIAM: Can't do it.

TRAVIS: Is that a teleportation move? No, it's not.

MATT: No. It's a burrowing move.

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: ♪ Ohh ah! ♪

SAM: Oh no, we're all bunched and clumped.

LAURA: Oh no, the line.

TRAVIS: Orym just got out of the way.

MARISHA: Oh my god, you got to be shitting me.

ROBBIE: Oh my goodness!

MATT: You guys said where you were, I was like, okay. That's a four, that's two.

ROBBIE: Oh. My. Goodness.

LIAM: Little Mister's fine. Don't worry.

LAURA: Mister and Orym.

ROBBIE: He saw that a mile away.

LAURA: Laudna's fine. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Ugh.

MARISHA: (yells)

MATT: Then emerges there.

SAM: More arms?

ROBBIE: We're cooked.

LAURA: Come look at this, Matt, and say if it would get Laudna, too.

TRAVIS: No. I mean, it depends--

LAURA: I mean, it depends on where the line is. Is it five?

LIAM: He could hit Dorian and Laudna or he could veer to the left.

MATT: It can get all five of you.

SAM: Amazing.

MATT: Because it can emerge from anywhere on its base in any direction, like you guys can do. It's a five-foot line so it can get all five of you.

ASHLEY: Yeah, we're all perfectly--

MATT: I was like, okay.

ASHLEY: -- lined up.

MATT: All right, so I need--

LAURA: (sighs)

MATT: (exhales) Oh boy. I need Dorian, you are?

TALIESIN: Invulnerable.

MATT: Invulnerable. To all forms of damage?

TALIESIN: Yes.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: For one round.

LIAM: For the one round.

MATT: Yep, you don't have to worry about it. I need Fearne, Braius, Laudna, and Dorian to make a dexterity saving throw for me, please.

TALIESIN: Braius, Fearne, and Dorian, I think, are within 10-- Actually they're all within 10 feet of me.

LIAM: If you roll a one, call it out for the halfling.

TALIESIN: So everyone gets a d4.

LAURA: Everyone gets a d4 except for me, right?

TALIESIN: Except you.

ASHLEY: I get advantage--

ROBBIE: Okay. Okay.

ASHLEY: This is another magical spell effect, or--?

ROBBIE: We all get a d4?

TALIESIN: Yep.

LAURA: Except for Laudna.

MATT: Technically, I'd say yes.

ASHLEY: Okay.

ROBBIE: 17, 10--

SAM: What kind of save?

TALIESIN: Oh, and maybe Chet.

SAM: This is dex?

TRAVIS: I'm out of the way.

TALIESIN: Yeah, whoever's not here. Actually, you don't get one either, I'm sorry.

MATT: I'm pointing out the damage roll on this. No cap on this. So it's 5d12 roll.

TALIESIN: Oh no.

MATT: 10, 11, nine, four, and nine.

TALIESIN: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: How many?

TALIESIN: A fuckton.

TRAVIS: Did he say--

SAM: So if you make the save--

LIAM: 5d12.

LAURA: You could get taken out.

MATT: All right, so.

LIAM: Five 12s.

MATT: So starting over here. Laudna?

LIAM: 30-ish.

MARISHA: Natural one.

LAURA: (gasps)

LIAM: No, no, no, no, no. Reaction, Halfling Bountiful Luck. Reroll.

MARISHA: Really?

LIAM: Yes. Reroll.

MATT: Within, how far?

LIAM: 30 feet.

MATT: Yeah, you got it. Let's go.

LIAM: She's within 30 feet of me. I said call out your ones.

MATT: Call out your ones.

MARISHA: I didn't hear that.

MATT: That's okay.

MARISHA: There's so much going on.

TRAVIS: Too much panic and heart rate in the air.

MARISHA and TRAVIS: Ooh. (laughter)

MARISHA: 12. All right, you take 73 points of necrotic damage. (laughter)

MARISHA: What?!

ROBBIE: But wait, wait, wait. If it's a beam and it's a straight line and Ashton is an invulnerable diamond, does he serve as a block for the rest of us?

MATT: He does not.

MARISHA: Yeah, it just makes it worse.

MATT: To be fair, you don't want me to follow that rule.

ROBBIE: All right. Okay, fair enough. (laughter)

MATT: He is a prism right now. He becomes a death disco.

TRAVIS: Disco ball.

MATT: (energy beaming) (laughter)

TRAVIS: Dorian, watch-- (buzzing) (rewinding noises)

MATT: It's good to look out.

MARISHA: 73?

MATT: 73 points of necrotic damage.

LAURA: Are you still up?

LIAM and ROBBIE: No way.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: Wow!

LAURA: Oh, you hadn't taken enough damage.

LIAM: You haven't taken any damage this whole time.

MARISHA: I've taken damage, but not much. But now it's bad.

LAURA: But you also had really high hit points.

MARISHA: Now it's not good.

MATT: Dexterity saving throw?

ROBBIE: I rolled a 17 plus 10 plus one, 28.

MATT: Okay, so you take 36 points of necrotic damage.

ROBBIE: Aw.

LAURA: No.

ROBBIE: Good night, babies.

LIAM: Ugh.

LAURA: No.

ROBBIE: I'm down.

MATT: Okay, Braius.

SAM: 18.

MATT: 18, you take 73 points of necrotic damage.

SAM: I'm going to meet my maker.

LAURA: No!

TRAVIS: Are you down?

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Everybody's going down!

MATT: Fearne?

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: 22.

MATT: That just succeeds. You take 36 points of necrotic damage.

ASHLEY: Well, can I evade?

SAM: Evasion.

TRAVIS: (wheezes)

LIAM: Is it a dex save?

MATT: That's true. That is a success.

LIAM: Dex save is zero.

MATT: So you take nothing. You take no damage.

ASHLEY: I take no damage, but I did use a reaction earlier for Silvery Barbs.

LAURA: Where?

SAM: Then you can't use that.

LAURA: When?

MATT: Hold on.

MARISHA: Well, when did you?

TALIESIN: That was a while ago.

LAURA: But I don't know.

MATT: Hold on, no, I'm going to check. I'm going to check.

MARISHA: When was that?

SAM: I think Evasion just happens.

MATT: I think it might just happen. I'm going to double check. It's been a minute. Hold on a second.

LIAM: Uncanny Dodge is the one that's a reaction.

LAURA: That you have to have a reaction.

LIAM: Evasion is just-- Yeah, I think you're right.

MATT: Yeah. It doesn't need it, it just happens. So you take no damage.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

ROBBIE: Those levels of rogue don't feel so silly now.

ASHLEY: They don't feel so silly now. They do not.

MATT: Braius.

LAURA: Both of you guys went down?

ROBBIE: Both of your healers are cooked.

ASHLEY: Ah! Dorian!

MATT: Crumble to the ground. That far hand--

ASHLEY: Brad!

MATT: -- is going to strike at you.

TRAVIS: Uh-huh.

MATT: The attack, natural 18, that's a crit.

LIAM: No.

ASHLEY: Oh no.

TRAVIS: Silvery bitch.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: That's me. Silver-haired bitch.

MARISHA: I can Silvery Barbs it.

TRAVIS: You don't have to do that.

MARISHA: Wait, what is it?

LAURA: It's a crit.

MARISHA: It's a crit. So wait, against him?

SAM: ♪ It's Critmas! ♪

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: It would double the 73?

MATT: No no, this is a different attack.

SAM: This is a claw strike.

TRAVIS: This is a hand strike.

MARISHA: This is a hand thing.

SAM: It's not going to be as bad. Those have been only 20-ish.

LAURA: But it was a crit.

TRAVIS: Your reactions are pretty good.

LAURA: So he's going to take 40 damage, at least.

MARISHA: I know, that's the thing.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but I get--

MARISHA: I'll hold it. It's Chet.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: He's looking okay. It just could be coming more--

SAM: It's Chet.

TRAVIS: I have my whole life.

LAURA: He's been helping all of us.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: I've been setting up franchises everywhere. Right, son?

ASHLEY: Oh no.

MARISHA: It might come more in handy later. It's hard to say.

MATT: So that's going to be--

LIAM: I'm just grateful we got to form a relationship--

MATT: -- on the dice 24--

LIAM: -- before the end.

MATT: -- doubled to 48.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: Plus six. So that's going to be 52--

TRAVIS: 54? 52.

MATT: -- points of slashing damage on you, halved.

TRAVIS: So 26?

MATT: 26. Roll a constitution saving throw for me, please.

TRAVIS: Constitution.

ASHLEY: Roll good.

MATT: You don't have advantage on this, do you?

TRAVIS: Do I not in my hybrid form on con? No, sorry.

TALIESIN: You're right there.

MARISHA: Come on, baby. Yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: Natural 19, plus five. 24.

MATT: 24. Okay. Yeah. So you maintain concentration.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: It's going to attack you again.

ROBBIE: Oh.

TRAVIS: Aw.

MATT: That's going to be another natural 18. I'm not even joking. Literally two in a row.

TRAVIS: I love it.

TRAVIS: He is trying to knock me to get her, I think. Maybe.

LAURA: Because if he breaks his concentration--

ROBBIE: Yeah.

LAURA: -- then I lose Blink.

MARISHA: Should I Silvery Barbs this one then?

TRAVIS: It's your call.

MARISHA: Silvery Barbs.

MATT: What's the range on Silvery Barbs?

LAURA: 60 feet.

MARISHA: 60 feet.

MATT: How is it 60 feet as well?

SAM: It doesn't make sense.

MATT: It's so busted.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: Let's see. You are, you're just barely in 60 feet. Okay. (laughter)

ROBBIE: So salty.

ASHLEY: He's so salty. (laughter)

SAM: So powerful.

MATT: I know.

LIAM: I mean, we're hanging on--

MATT: All right.

LIAM: -- by the skin of our fingernails here.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: Also, I'm burning through--

SAM: Natural 20?

LAURA: No. Did you get a 20?

TALIESIN: Fuck right off.

LAURA: Did you get a 20?

TALIESIN: Goddamn it. Really? I'm going to have to get up for this shit?

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS and ASHLEY: (laugh)

TRAVIS: Wow.

ROBBIE: What is it?

TRAVIS: You kept me alive, probably.

MATT: There is balance here.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MARISHA: Wait, what was it.

TALIESIN and LAURA: It was 20.

TRAVIS: It was 20 again. Three crits in a row.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Fun times.

MATT: 18, 18, and 20. Still very high.

TRAVIS: That's insane.

MARISHA: Still against Chet.

TRAVIS, LAURA, MATT, and TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: You get advantage on whatever this is, next saving throw or attack.

TRAVIS: Oh really?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Is it attack or saving throw you could do?

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: For Silvery Barbs, yeah.

MATT: A level one reaction spell needs all the bonuses.

TRAVIS: This is coming from the head or from the hand?

LAURA: That is a really crazy level one.

MATT: It's a crazy spell.

SAM: It's insane.

TRAVIS: Is this coming from the head or the hand?

MATT: It's from the hand.

TRAVIS: Oh. Fuck.

MATT: That's going to be--

MARISHA: Next attack roll, ability check, or saving throw.

MATT: Great. There we go.

TRAVIS: I don't have the Brand of Castigation. (blows raspberry)

MATT: It's going to be 52 plus six. 58 points of slashing damage.

LIAM: Rough.

TRAVIS: Dear lord. So--

SAM: Halved?

TRAVIS: 28?

LIAM: 52 halved?

SAM: 58 halved?

LIAM: 58 halved.

MATT: So it'd be 58-- Sorry, sorry. 58 halved would be--

SAM and LIAM: 29.

ROBBIE: 29.

MATT: -- 29.

TRAVIS: 29.

MATT: 29 points of damage.

TRAVIS: Thank you.

MATT: Okay. So--

TRAVIS: Another?

MATT: Another constitution saving throw. You have advantage on it.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: But it's going to be a 14 DC.

TRAVIS: Okay. Plus five. 19.

MATT: Okay. Goddamn. All right. All right, that's going to finish Predathos' turn. Fearne, you're up.

ASHLEY: Okay. All right.

MARISHA: Yeah, it's amazing how quickly that shifted.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm going to move out of this line a little bit.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: I'm going to Scorching Ray at 4th-level again. That's what I got. I mean, I can get up and do some melee, but I don't-- I can't get up all the way.

LAURA: You're a little scared to do that.

MATT: Oh, by the way, did you roll a concentration check to maintain your flame blade?

TALIESIN: Didn't--

LAURA: She didn't take any damage.

TALIESIN: -- take any damage.

MATT: Oh that's right, you didn't. Never mind.

ASHLEY: Didn't take any damage.

MATT: You're good. You're good.

MARISHA: How long is that advantage on attacks?

TALIESIN: Until my turn.

MARISHA: So you have advantage on attacks.

ASHLEY: All right, I'll take some Scorching Rays. 4th-level.

MATT: Scorching Rays? Okay.

LAURA: Advantage on all of them.

SAM: ♪ Operatic vocalization ♪

TALIESIN: Advantage and a d4. on all attacks.

ROBBIE: That's my favorite song.

ASHLEY: Oh really?

TALIESIN: You're next to me.

LAURA: Because you're right next to--

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay. Okay. So that's five hits. So that's five hits.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: At what level?

ASHLEY: Fourth.

MATT: 4th-level would be five.

ASHLEY: Okay. So--

LAURA: Oh!

ASHLEY: Wow!

LAURA: Oh shit!

ASHLEY: All right. So 19.

LAURA: Plus. Plus.

ASHLEY: Plus 12.

MATT: That hits, yep. So that's one hit.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: (gawks) Uh-huh.

ASHLEY: Great. Second one hits.

MATT: Great. Third one?

ASHLEY: (mumbled math)

LAURA: Add a d4.

ASHLEY: Oh yeah. So... Okay. So 13.

LAURA: 13. That hits.

ASHLEY: 25. That hits.

MATT: Great. Three hits.

ASHLEY: That, I don't think, hits. I don't even know--

LAURA: Well, that's nine plus.

ASHLEY: 21? Wait.

MATT: 21 just misses.

ASHLEY: No, sorry. Sorry.

TALIESIN: Did you add a d4 on that already?

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah, that was-- Okay.

LIAM: Yeah, that was with a d4.

MATT: So three hits, and the last one?

ASHLEY: 25?

MATT: 25 hits. So that's four hits.

ASHLEY: Four hits.

MATT: So roll eight, Yeah, 8d6.

ASHLEY: Okay. 8d6, 8d6. Okay.

TALIESIN: Oh man.

ASHLEY: All right. Eh, that's all right. Oh, okay. 12. 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17.

MARISHA: You [inaudible] and they go--

ASHLEY: 26.

LAURA: Did you add that one?

ASHLEY: I didn't roll that one.

LAURA: Oh, okay.

ASHLEY: 26 and then two eights. Plus eight. 26 plus eight.

MATT: Okay, so 34. 34 points of fire damage.

ASHLEY: Oh, it's all fire damage. Yeah.

MATT: Yeah. That all burns across, (fire blasts) impacting and singeing around its outside. Is Mister going to go as well?

ASHLEY: Yes, Mister is going to take his flaming shit. Does he get advantage as well?

MATT: It's all attacks.

ASHLEY: Okay, great.

TALIESIN: He is not within-- No.

ASHLEY: That is-- Okay, 15. Yeah, that hits.

MATT: Okay, roll for damage on him.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: Oh my god, if Mister gets it.

ASHLEY: I know, that would be--

LAURA: You're like, not now. (laughs)

ASHLEY: Nine points of damage.

MATT: Okay. Nine points of damage. All righty. Does that finish your turn, Fearne?

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)

ASHLEY: I'm going to move out of the line that we have here.

MATT: Okay, where are you moving?

ASHLEY: So I'm going to move over to where-- This way, but near Orym.

MATT: So over there?

ASHLEY: 35 feet forward, but more a little bit this way.

MATT: This way or this way?

ASHLEY: Yeah, that way. Yeah.

MATT: Okay. If you move too far within 30 feet, you'll get out of combat range of this hand.

ASHLEY: Oh.

MATT: So you might want to stay a little bit closer than that.

ASHLEY: Okay, that's fine.

MATT: That's about as close as you can get without leaving its melee.

ASHLEY: All right, all right. That's my turn.

MATT: Okay. All right.

ROBBIE: Stressful.

MATT: Finishing your go, at the end of your turn, I'm going to activate a limb as a legendary action.

LAURA: God.

MATT: It's going to attack Chetney again.

LAURA: Oh!

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: It's going to be a 28 to hit.

TRAVIS: Yes, indeed.

MATT: You take, oh, it's triple eights. 30 points of slashing damage.

TRAVIS: 15. Okay.

MATT: Reduced to 15. Male a constitution saving throw for me. Just a single roll. No, you just have to roll a 10 or higher.

TRAVIS: It's a seven.

ROBBIE and LAURA: (gasp)

LAURA: No!

MATT: If you could replace yourself with the mystical one right there.

SAM: ♪ Replace yourself ♪

MATT: A little bit closer to the head.

TRAVIS: I'm sorry, Imogen. I'm sorry. I have trouble resisting things older than me.

MATT: All righty, with that.

LAURA: You did great, Chet. Thank you.

MATT: Braius, it's your turn.

LIAM: You took a lot of hits.

SAM: I roll a death saving throw.

MATT: You do.

SAM: I got a seven.

MATT: That is one failed death saving throw for Braius. One step closer to the Hells to where you are bound.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

SAM: I'm coming. I'm going home.

MATT: If there is a Hell to return to.

TRAVIS: ♪ I'm going home ♪

MATT: All right, finishing Braius' turn. End of your turn, it's going to use another legendary action. The head is going to come after you with a Maw of the Red End.

SAM: ♪ Here in the Hall of Heads ♪

LAURA: Listen, I'm part of you. You're part of me. You don't want to do this.

MATT: Does a 25 hit you?

LAURA: We're bound to each other. Yeah.

SAM: Show him a tit. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Still got one in the chamber.

SAM: Silvery Boobs. (laughter)

MATT: Take 32 points of piercing damage. I need you to make a strength saving throw.

LAURA: It doesn't matter.

LIAM: That doesn't matter, she's down. She had 31.

TRAVIS: Ugh.

MATT: You watch as Imogen is swallowed by the entity just as the life to leaves her eyes. Please hand me her mini. She is unconscious and inside. She called the entity into her. Now the entity has brought her into it. That brings us to the end of the combat round. I think now's a good time to take a break. (screaming) So we're going to return here. It's been three hours running. Thank you for your patience, but that's what boss battles are about at the end of a campaign. We'll be back here in a few minutes to pick up on the top of the next round, which is looking a little nerve wracking. See you in a little bit.

Break

Who are you? Who do you serve? All I have ever known in my life... Our land... Our customs... My family... Burns in the name of unification. You are still a frog in a well, who knows nothing of the sea. The oceans fill with new ships, but they all come from the same river. Greed. Power. Vengeance. And you, will you continue down that river... or choose another path beyond what we see? Then we must look for it... together. We must learn to trust, rebuild... And follow the blade. I said, who do you serve? We are the shadows... That serve the light.

(jovial music) Looooove... It's a crazy, crazy game. But no matter what you do... to make your dreams come true... the choice is up to you! 'Cause everything leads to love, love, love...! Cabinet, toaster, refrigerator! Everything leads to love! Everything leads to love! This is my scooter. Il Ragazzo Pazzo. You know the gentleman. Goes around cleaning the house with his vacuum hose. Name's Hoover. My friends just call me "Hoove," though. Besides, we both know you're cheating on me, so it's only fair! I wish I was cheating on you! But no matter how you play... It'll lead to a brand new day! You're gonna be swept away! Cuz everything leads to looooove! You can 'Date Everything'!

♪ It's a merry, merry Critmas ♪ ♪ (It's Critmas!) ♪ ♪ Oh, here in Californ-i-a ♪ ♪ It's a merry, merry Critmas ♪ ♪ (It's Critmas!) ♪ ♪ Around the table ♪ playin' games ♪ ♪ The fire burns, ♪ ♪ the stories are told, ♪ ♪ Till it's time for bed, ♪ ♪ and the cocoa's cold ♪ ♪ It's Critmas... ♪ ♪ (It's Critmas!) ♪ ♪ We're hopin' ♪ that you roll our way ♪ ♪ Have a merry, ♪ merry Critmas! ♪

You've fought well, princesses. But this battle is far from over. I've made sure of it. You didn't think there were only six princesses in Twelvefold, did you? [laughter] Allow me to introduce Elise LaKraken, Diva of the Twelve Tides. Qasima al-Basar, Gentlewoman Thief of the Lamp. Kahurere Skyfisher, Rebel of the New Dawn. And then there's me, Azil with a Z. What Other Letter Would It Be? [laughter] By mind, magic, or might, claim your crown at last. Dare to be... Queen by Midnight Quarter Past. We'll see you in time. [laughter] ♪ (mysterious music) ♪

You see a rolled up piece of paper, tied with a bow. Farah takes the scroll and unfurls it. As you unfurl this piece of paper, you are struck with your own visage as well as all of your friends'. A sketching of a wanted poster, with one major detail. All of your eyes have been scratched out. The word, "Buffoon" is violently scrawled all over Tipani's face. There are dagger point sized holes in the poster as if it has been used as target practice. Seems like we made someone mad. Farah hands Frog the poster.

LAURA: Hey Critters! Laura Bailey here to guide you through what's new in the Critical Role shop. Style should never be a dump stat, darling. This is seriously magical. Ooo so comfy cozy. Go ahead, darling. Treat yourself. It's so cute. I can't handle it. Look at this. Isn't it fashion? So much fashion happening here. Check it out. Look. It has pockets. This is a lot of stuff, you guys. We have so many cool things right now. And hey, if you want, you could head over to the Critical Role shop right now.

(epic music)(mischievous music)(typewriter clacking)(peaceful music)

(door opening) [studio audience laughter] [light applause] FATHER: Honey, kids, I'm home! MOTHER: Welcome home, dear. [studio audience laughter] MOTHER: And you know what night it is? CHILD 1 and CHILD 2: It's Thursday night! MOTHER and FATHER: (laugh) ♪ (upbeat TV theme) ♪ NARRATOR: This summer, get the membership the entire family can enjoy! Your one-stop shop for the world of Critical Role. FATHER: (laughs) NARRATOR: Including a 10% discount in all our shops, live event pre-sales, a private Discord. FATHER: The popcorn monster! NARRATOR: And instant access to all podcasts and VODs for all your favorite shows. CHILD 1: Hurry up, Mom! CHILD 2: Critical Role is about to start! ♪ (upbeat TV theme ends) ♪ (remote control click) (ominous flashing) NARRATOR: With Beacon, all your dreams can become a reality. Beacon will introduce you to what has been and what could be. CHILD 1: Is Sam turning into a sunflower? MOTHER: No, Son, Sam has always been a sunflower. (static crackling) CHILD 2: Is Sam my father? FATHER: No, I'm your father. NARRATOR: Beacon will bring you to the edges of the (distorted) cosmic threshold. (distorted speech and gnashing) (distorted speech and gnashing) (increasing beeping and powering up) (chirping notification) MOTHER: Oh, the new episode of Candela just dropped. FATHER: Oh, spooky. [studio audience laughter] ♪ (upbeat TV theme) ♪ NARRATOR: Beacon. Endless stories, endless possibilities.

Part II

MATT: And welcome back.

TRAVIS: No!

MATT: So top of the combat round, Dorian, I need you to make a death save for me.

MARISHA: Nat 20. Nat 20.

TRAVIS: Man, you just jump.

ROBBIE: Haven't rolled shit all night. Dorian dice, don't fail me now!

LIAM: Do it.

MARISHA and SAM: Ooh.

SAM: Does he get advantage because of Foresight?

MATT: Unfortunately, no.

ROBBIE: It's 18.

MATT: 18, that's one successful death save.

MARISHA: Well, it's (mumbling) bounce back.

MATT: Correct.

ROBBIE: Success.

MATT: Chetney, it's your turn.

TRAVIS: (mouth full) Are you expecting me to do something?

MARISHA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Yep, that's fair.

MATT: You just watched Imogen get swallowed up within Predathos.

LAURA: I got swallowed up. I got healed and swallowed.

TRAVIS: If I leave that hand, it'll provoke an attack of opportunity, right?

MATT: It will, about 15-foot range.

TRAVIS: Eff that noise. All right, last one. I'm going to use Turmoil the scythe to fling a Shatter at the head of Predathos.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: I'm not going anywhere.

MATT: The save is--

TRAVIS: Con 16.

MATT: Natural 19. (groaning)

MATT: Yeah, for a total of 32.

SAM: Oh!

TALIESIN: Wait, wait.

TRAVIS: That's it.

TALIESIN: It was an attack against the head?

MATT: It's a spell against it, yeah.

TALIESIN: Okay, so it doesn't get advantage. Well, it's got an attack. Okay, never mind.

MATT: Good looking out. So it saves at half damage, but because this is thunder, it's full damage, so whatever you roll it takes.

TRAVIS: 12. 19, 38.

MATT: 38 points of thunder damage to the head. (thunder crashing) It detonates and you watch his mouth opens and there to the back you see the unconscious Imogen sliding down the glowing gullet before its mouth re-shuts.

TRAVIS: Lord, I think that is my-- ♪ Holy, my Matthew can I ♪ sing to you, baby ♪

MATT: I appreciate that, is that your turn, or do you want to move?

TALIESIN: Bonus action, anything?

MATT: You can still move 15 feet if you like.

ROBBIE: That's disturbing.

TRAVIS: But you would get an attack of opportunity, right?

MATT: You could get up to 15 feet while still being in the combat range and not get an attack of opportunity.

TRAVIS: I'm going to use only bonus action Misty Step that I have left and I'm going to slide behind the head.

MATT: Okay, so you're going to move 15 feet and then go there and you're going to slide behind it that direction?

TRAVIS: Yes.

LAURA: Over here?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: Do you want--

MATT: Well, he only has 40 feet of movement, so it was 15 to get to the edge there. You can--

LAURA: Misty Step then poof.

MATT: Yeah, and then do 40 feet around there.

LAURA: You go around in there.

MATT: So you can go there.

LAURA: Do you want to be more than five feet away from the head when you do it so you're not within melee of the head?

TRAVIS: No, I want to be in melee with the head.

MATT: All right, there you go.

TRAVIS: You know what?

SAM: Casting 8th-level spell.

TALIESIN: That's how you run.

TRAVIS: That's a good point, I'll be just outside.

LAURA: Stay out of melee.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: I know it has that 30-foot burst thing.

LAURA: At least it can't maul you.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: Doesn't--

MATT: That's about right.

TRAVIS: Snapping turtle.

MATT: Yep. (gnawing noise)

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: Totally. All right, finishing Chetney's go.

TRAVIS: Thanks.

MATT: That is the top--

LIAM: Oh boy.

MATT: -- of the 20.

SAM: ♪ On top of the 20 ♪

MATT: Move two.

TALIESIN: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

MATT: This hand--

ROBBIE: Uh-oh.

MATT: -- is going to--

TRAVIS: No healing.

MATT: -- move here.

SAM: What?

MATT: The head--

LAURA: (sighs) It's moving away from each other.

ROBBIE: Oh no.

MATT: -- is going to line up about there.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

SAM: To roast us.

ROBBIE: Yep.

MATT: Actually, no, no. Sorry, the head's going to move there.

ROBBIE: Oh no.

LAURA: Oh, you son of a--

ASHLEY: Much worse, much worse, much worse.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: But, you guys, he's moving pieces. You can move out of the line.

ROBBIE: Can-- can we--?

ROBBIE and SAM: (laugh)

ROBBIE: Can Braius and I move out of the way?

SAM: I don't think I can.

ROBBIE: Me either.

MARISHA: You had that region--

LAURA: For a magnet?

MARISHA: There was a thing that was in the way here. Try again.

LAURA: Do you want to be here?

MATT: No.

LIAM: Just put it behind the DM screen.

MATT: Yeah, I'll put this here.

ROBBIE and MARISHA: (laugh)

MATT: That'll work, great.

ASHLEY: Wait. So it's magnetized?

MATT: Switches-- There are some in there I can use.

MARISHA: What was this for?

LAURA: Isn't that cool?

MATT: That was when you were concentrating on Blink, but it went away.

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: Thank you.

TRAVIS: Thanks for bringing up old painful shit, Marisha.

MATT: All right, sorry. (laughter)

MATT: Imogen.

ROBBIE: He only made you roll for it nine times.

MATT: It's your turn.

MARISHA: Is this your failure on the battle map?

MATT: So, at the top of the turn--

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: -- because you're inside its mouth--

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: -- you begin to take digestive force damage.

LAURA: Oh, cool.

MATT: So you immediately fail a death save. Then at the end of your turn, I need you to roll another death saving throw.

LAURA: So if I roll a one--

MATT: A one, you die.

LIAM: You're dead.

MATT: Just don't roll a one.

TRAVIS: Hey, hey.

ROBBIE: Is there halfling--

TRAVIS: Had a good run.

ROBBIE: -- luck left?

ASHLEY: Wait.

LIAM: That's further than 30 feet away from me and I--

ASHLEY: Wait.

LAURA: If I roll a one, I'm dead, dead.

TRAVIS: It's a good roll.

ROBBIE: Did you get a d4?

MARISHA: If you roll a 20, she bounces back up.

TRAVIS: There's literally only one thing you can't roll.

MATT: There we go.

LIAM: What is that die?

LAURA: Oh, thank god, it's 11.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Okay, so that is one successful save.

LIAM: Oh my gosh.

LAURA: What is that die?

MATT: Ashton, it's your turn.

LAURA: It's an awesome die is what it is.

TRAVIS: Are you taking a chance on a rogue die?

LAURA: No, I've been using it the whole game, I love this die.

MARISHA: I think it's worth it.

SAM: Wait, who's up?

ROBBIE: Ashton, Ashton.

MARISHA: It's worth it.

TRAVIS: He heard his name, but--

TALIESIN: What you going to do? You got to do that thing, I don't know, fuck.

MARISHA: Do you want me to do it?

SAM: I love not being part of the c--

TRAVIS: You can tell.

MARISHA: It's your choice. If you want to try this, it's a hail fucking Mary, but I will feel so immensely guilty if I kill you.

TRAVIS: It's been voiced. It's been voiced. It's been acknowledged.

TALIESIN: Shit happens. Okay.

LIAM: It's pretty Ashton.

MARISHA: All right, all right, all right.

TRAVIS: You're being digested. Two other people are down.

MATT: Are you at the end of this thing or are you no longer a diamond?

TALIESIN: Until the end of this turn, I'm a diamond.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Which is a damn fucking shame because if it had been slightly reversed--

MARISHA: I know.

TALIESIN: -- issues, this wouldn't be a problem.

MARISHA: Blame rollies. We played rollies. We were technically all at 19.

MATT: That's how it rolls. So what are we doing, Ashton?

MARISHA: Absolutely sick.

TALIESIN: I'm--

TRAVIS: Panicking, Matt. Panicking.

MARISHA: I feel like I'm going to throw up.

TALIESIN: Going to-- I'm going to walk over. I'm going to open that fucking mouth of that thing.

TRAVIS: Going in?

MATT: Okay. So you go over towards the mouth. So you're going to try and shove your-- What are you trying to do? Are you trying to smack it in the head, or are you trying to--

LAURA: Get in?

MATT: Climb on it, what are you trying to do?

TALIESIN: I'm trying to-- I'm actually tempted.

LIAM: Let's go, punk rock.

TALIESIN: I'm trying to use my fucking hammer to get in and shove the damn thing open, and if I have to, I will lock it open.

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: Okay. So this would be more or less a contested shove attack. Try and push into it, I'll say. So go ahead and--

TALIESIN: Then I'll have enough, I'll have one more thing I can do if I want to--

MATT: You have two attacks, I'll allow that. Take one, so your first attack is going to be a shove to try and open it.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: So contested strength.

TALIESIN: Okay, and I have advantage on that.

MATT: You do.

TALIESIN: And I have a d4.

LAURA: You rolled a 20?

MATT: No.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: But I'm making sure that--

TALIESIN: I rolled a 20.

LAURA: Oh!

MATT: Oh, shit!

TRAVIS: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh shit!

MATT: That was a natural 18 plus six, but that doesn't matter with a 20.

SAM: Whoa.

TRAVIS: Wow. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Wow.

MATT: As you come--

TALIESIN: Fucking diamond hammer.

MATT: As the head emerges from the ground, its jaw opens ever so slightly and you rush up using that moment, you leap towards the mouth, jam the hammer in, click it and its mouth (cracking) holds open, and so you add, that's your one attack, and you're now in the jaw. What do you want to do?

TALIESIN: I want to ask one more thing--

MATT: Sure.

TALIESIN: -- privately. I just want to whisper it.

SAM: Privately?

TALIESIN: I want to whisper something.

MATT: Okay. A reverse whisper!

ALL: Whoa!

MATT: Hell yeah.

SAM: Guys.

LIAM: Steal his notes.

SAM: There's merch available somewhere. Commemorate this fight by going to shop.critrole.com--

LAURA: (laughs)

SAM: -- and scouring it for--

LAURA: Yeah, go check out the website.

SAM: Uh-huh.

LAURA: Check it out.

LIAM: That color looks--

TRAVIS: Have this conversation in frame.

LIAM: -- good on you.

MATT: It's not holding it in place.

SAM: It does.

TRAVIS: Pan over.

TALIESIN: In theory, though--

MATT: For your turn, it's not--

LIAM: Oh, he saw it already?

TALIESIN: Okay, so--

MARISHA: (gasps)

ASHLEY: Wait, I got to see, I got to see this.

MARISHA: Woo-hoo!

TRAVIS: Wow.

MARISHA: It comes for us all.

TRAVIS: Wow.

ROBBIE: Devious.

TRAVIS: Tell me, tell me exactly where and when.

ROBBIE: It was part of a comp cart. It was businessman, skateboarder, leather jacket guy, and policeman, yeah, yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: What year do we think?

LAURA: A doctor.

ROBBIE: I don't need to think; that's 2007.

LAURA: Nerdy friend.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Yeah, baby.

MATT: So you couldn't.

ROBBIE: 25.

MATT: You could try it.

TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah, you know.

LAURA: A lawyer.

ROBBIE: Good!

TRAVIS: May you receive inspiration from--

LAURA: Like a young lawyer.

MATT: Gorgeous.

ROBBIE: Money well spent.

SAM: The Good Wife.

TALIESIN: Jesus Christ.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: All right, I'm going in.

MATT: He comes for us all, Robbie.

ROBBIE: I know.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: I'm going in.

MATT: You're...?

TALIESIN: I'm pulling her out.

TRAVIS: That's some Lucifer--

MATT: Okay, so you're leaving the hammer there.

TALIESIN: I'm using it, I'm having it click, I'm going in. I'm using it to fucking pull.

MATT: Okay, we'll make this another contested strength check.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: As she's currently squeezed inside of his throat--

LAURA: Held in place by a tongue?

MATT: You're being held in place, it would have a tongue on the inside, but there is also the inside of his throat is condensed on you so he's having to pull you out of the restraints.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Yep, (cracking). All right.

LAURA: Natural 20.

MARISHA: Come on, Ashton.

TALIESIN: Sadly not a natural 20, but it is a 19, so that's a strength contested, not a save.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: That's 27.

MATT: 27. Natural five.

ALL: Ooh.

MATT: So, are you pulling the hammer out with you?

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: That's tough.

TALIESIN: I feel like it would make it harder to do the stupid thing I'm about to do.

SAM: There's more?

TALIESIN: Well, actually, no, it doesn't change it.

MARISHA: I don't think so.

MATT: So you have a grip on her and you pull her into the jaw with you.

MARISHA: Can you get her out out?

MATT: You can get her out, but it'll be half the rest of your movement to try and bring her with you, so you'll get about 15 feet away.

LAURA: I am so light.

ROBBIE: (chuckles)

ASHLEY: Little.

TALIESIN: Cannot believe I'm going to do this. I'm going to leave the hammer and run with her.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: The hammer's not leaving.

MATT: The hammer and the-- okay.

LIAM: Is it immovable frozen in place?

TALIESIN: It is immovable.

MATT: It's locked in place. Now, it can still-- it's not jammed in it.

LAURA: Go past it.

MATT: It can still--

TALIESIN: No, but it's still sitting there.

MATT: Okay, so you-- how much movement do you have? It was 10 to get there. Do you have 40 feet of movement?

TALIESIN: I have 40 feet of movement.

MATT: So it would be another 15 feet to here, and you would drag an unconscious--

TALIESIN: Fuck, it's going to be easier if I, this is going to make--

MATT: Right there.

TALIESIN: It's going to make the shot harder, though.

MATT: Okay, so with that--

MARISHA: Why?

LIAM: Survive.

TALIESIN: I can't tune it. So we'll find out.

LIAM: Imogen is--

LAURA: Wait, wait.

TALIESIN: All right, we'll see how it goes.

LIAM: You'd have to go the entire way around.

LAURA: I know.

TALIESIN: Okay.

LIAM: I think I'm going to go for the--

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Oh, no, and I can't use a bonus action to throw a potion in her. That's an action.

MATT: No, that's an action to try force a potion into somebody, yeah. All right, that finishes your turn, Ashton. Laudna, you're up with Orym on deck.

TALIESIN: Do it.

MARISHA: This could go really bad.

TALIESIN: Fucking do it.

MARISHA: This could go really bad.

TALIESIN: Fucking do it.

MARISHA: I want to try and move as far as I can--

MATT: Movement of 30.

MARISHA: 30 feet, so wherever I can go.

MATT: 30 feet will get you just beyond Fearne.

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: So you will get there.

TALIESIN: Oh, I've reverted, by the way.

LAURA: Oh.

ROBBIE: Oh.

TALIESIN: Not only I've reverted, I am--

MATT: You now have two points of exhaustion.

TALIESIN: I am fucking wrecked. There are parts of me falling off.

ASHLEY: Goddamm it.

LAURA: Oh, Ashton.

MARISHA: Okay. I'm going to summon my bonus action to use the Void Puppet, my Screaming Spirit.

SAM: (creepy clown laugh)

MARISHA: I'm going to--

ASHLEY: (creepy clown laugh)

MARISHA: Fuck. I would like it to be if I can have it between--

LAURA: Can it go in the mouth?

MARISHA: Between the hand and the--

MATT: Does it have to be within melee for the effect to work?

MARISHA: Within five feet.

MATT: Five feet, it cannot get both, so you have to pick one. There's more than a-- yeah, there's a 10-foot gap between them, so you have to choose one or the other.

MARISHA: In the head.

MATT: Okay. So we'll say the Void Puppet comes over. What spirit do you summon?

LIAM: Simmy simmy sale. (laughter)

LAURA: Terrible.

MARISHA: Fucking Predathos' favorite puppet. It's got to be Otohan.

ASHLEY: Ooh. Ooh.

MATT: The shadow form, for a brief moment, those of you that are present and conscious, your heart skips a beat as the shadow shape of Otohan crawls out of the ground like a zombie, and you watch as it emerges, its head cracked to one side. Its face melting away as she steps--

ASHLEY: Come on, Laudna.

MATT: -- and drifts right up towards Predathos. What are you doing?

MARISHA: Okay. I am using Ashton's hammer for his ability. I want to shoot a Disintegrate ray into the hammer, and hopefully hit the head and this arm over here.

ROBBIE: Yes.

MARISHA: Or any of the arms.

ROBBIE: Yes.

MATT: Okay. Okay.

ROBBIE: Yes.

MATT: So--

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: You channel Disintegrate, aiming for the hammer just as the head's dislodging and pulling its way back as Ashton's dragging Imogen out of the way, broken and falling off in chunks. So, what is the check for the hammer?

TALIESIN: It is six plus the spell's level.

MATT: Which is seven, or six?

LIAM: Six, yeah.

MATT: So it's a 12, DC 12. So you're rolling a d20 and you're adding your charisma modifier. You want a 12 or higher. If you roll less than that, it will refract back onto Ashton.

LAURA: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Great, it's great.

SAM: Do you have a lot of charisma?

TRAVIS: We didn't come here to make friends. Take your shot.

TALIESIN: Take the shot.

MARISHA: He told me to do this. I said I wasn't going to do it.

TALIESIN: Take the fucking shot.

MARISHA: Oh my god, I'm freaking out. Is this it? Is this the one?

MATT: Is that the one you want?

LAURA: She pulled it. She said "Oh my god."

TRAVIS: What's your modifier?

MARISHA: Plus five.

SAM: Oh okay.

MATT: So you need a seven or higher.

LAURA: Seven or higher, okay, okay, okay.

MARISHA: I can't look. I can't look.

TRAVIS: Nine.

MATT: Nine. (relieved laughter)

TRAVIS: Nothing like a little Russian roulette.

TALIESIN: So it's done!

MARISHA: It was close.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm sure.

MARISHA: It was very close.

SAM: My goodness.

TRAVIS: (giggles)

TALIESIN: Right.

TRAVIS: Who's feeling spicy?

MATT: As you--

MARISHA: By two points, 14 total.

ASHLEY: That is too close.

MATT: Fuck. As you pull sections of the forbidden arcana that sit within the Soul Anchor you wield in your rib cage, drawing the power from your innate abilities and siphoning them from the forever-trapped Delilah Briarwood, you conjure this destructive blast of energy and fire it towards the glittering prismatic hammer of glass. As it strikes, it splits off into a number of spaces, but ricochets directly in the direction of the other hand on that side, so they both have to make a saving throw. The head has disadvantage. This is a dexterity.

MARISHA: 19.

MATT: 19. I'm going to roll these above the table here.

TRAVIS: You're not doing your last legendary resistance?

MATT: Well, we'll see.

LAURA: We'll find out.

MATT: So natural 19 on one. It's with disadvantage. The other is a two.

MARISHA: That's the disadvantage one.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: It's going to burn that last legendary resistance to succeed.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: The hand over there.

MARISHA: Is it a one?

MATT: That's a seven.

TRAVIS: Seven.

MATT: That's going to be a 16.

MARISHA: Fail.

MATT: Fail. Go ahead and roll damage.

ASHLEY: Oh my god. Oh my god.

MARISHA: His resistance is gone.

SAM: His resistance is gone.

LAURA: Last resistance is gone.

SAM: Oh, yes, legendary, yeah.

MARISHA: It's not the head, but--

LAURA: Unless he has more legendary resistances.

TALIESIN: Nope. No, that's the end of--

MARISHA: Sorry, I had to look and see, 10d6, one.

TALIESIN: Nope, nope, nope.

TRAVIS: (heartbeat thumping)

MARISHA: Four, six.

LAURA: Stop it, Travis!

LIAM and MATT: (laugh)

SAM: Tr-avis!

MATT: I love the risky maneuver.

TALIESIN: You ready?

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, I love it. I love it.

TALIESIN: No pain, no gain.

MATT: Dude, that would've been so harsh to have you walk out and be like, "I'm okay." (whooshes)

TRAVIS: Okay, okay, okay.

TALIESIN: Oh, I knew what was coming.

MATT: Just "War of the Worlds" it.

TALIESIN: I knew what was coming.

MARISHA: It's the hand, right? The hand is the one that failed?

MATT: The hand, yeah.

MARISHA: (thinking noises)

LAURA: Is Disintegrate if you don't take damage, if you save, you don't take any?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: All or nothing.

LIAM: Palms are sweaty.

MATT: Mom's-- (retches)

ASHLEY: Knees weak.

MARISHA: I don't think it's worth it. I'm going to keep my points. Sorry, I'm thinking a lot. Okay. 10, 20--

TRAVIS: What have I told you about thinking?

TALIESIN: Oh dude, I have to undo all my fucking bonuses now.

MARISHA: (quietly counting)

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Here we go.

MARISHA: 30, 40, 70-- 33 plus 40 is 73?

MATT: 73. Which, half that goes to 36 damage to him as the arm, (ripping) part of it breaks and turns to dust. It's still standing but it looks very damaged, and the head also reels back. (gurgling) Parts of its jaw crumble away by the connective tissue of it. Still holding strong. I mean it's hurt, but the arm is still standing. So that's your movement and your action.

LAURA: Do you have any--

MARISHA: I'm in the middle. I'm in the middle.

LAURA: -- healing potions?

MATT: Oh, and your bonus because of the spirit, so.

LAURA: Oh, that's everything.

TALIESIN: Oh shit.

MARISHA: Yeah, that's everything. Everything went into that.

MATT: All right. That's Laudna's turn. Orym, you're up.

LIAM: Okay, I--

MARISHA: Everything went into that.

LIAM: It seems like I'm in swatting distance of this tall hand here, right?

MATT: You likely would be, yeah.

LIAM: Yeah. So there is no good place here, but the worst place is where everybody is. So Orym is going to sprint his 30 feet on a diagonal this way, staying near the base of that hand.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: That will just get me there.

MATT: 30 feet will get you about--

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: -- there.

LIAM: Then I'm dropping Hex, and with a bonus action, I will extend Seedling out and vines shoot out across the field and grab hold of Dorian, and I yank him towards me out of the line of fire of the kaiju.

LAURA: Now we're all clumped up--

LIAM: At least he's only swattable by one thing instead of multiple things. Then with my action, I pull out-- I have two tiny healing potions, so I put a regular healing potion down Dorian's gullet.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Bringing you awake. So you roll or I roll. It's one of these, so--

MATT: All right, so unplug it and roll.

LIAM: I'll put it back in because this isn't mine, but I have it on my Beyond sheet.

MATT: That's fine.

LIAM: So three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, plus four.

MATT: Plus four.

LIAM: 15.

MATT: 15. You heal 15 hit points, Dorian.

SAM: Woo!

ROBBIE: Okay.

LIAM: Press my head to Dorian's head and be like: We need you! I need you! Can you get up?

ROBBIE: Yeah.

LIAM: We need you! That's the end of my turn.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: He's alive.

MATT: Got pushed back to there.

MARISHA: Yeah, I was off center a little bit. I was off even more.

SAM: Oh boy.

LAURA: Yeah, it caught her and brought her over--

MARISHA: It caught me and drug me. I was more over here.

MATT: Over there? Okay, got you.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: I was trying to be off its center line.

MATT: Yeah, no worries. All right. Finishing Orym's go, it is now Predathos' turn.

LIAM: (groans)

MATT: Actually at the end of your turn, it does have a legendary action left back. It's going to attempt to...

SAM: Oh, this is Predathos' turn. Oh, jesus.

MATT: It sees you use Seedling over there and it's going to try and swat you.

LIAM: Okay. Oh, I gained a hit point so I should be fine. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: That's a natural 19.

LIAM: Okay, which will hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: Fuck math.

MATT: (chuckles)

TRAVIS: This thing ate a couple of gods. What's the big deal?

MATT: 29 points of slashing damage to you.

LIAM: Orym down.

SAM: (groans)

ASHLEY: Oh!

MATT: You watch as Orym finishes putting the healing potion, administering it to you, Dorian. The minute he says this to you, he gets up and brings his shield up, and the first thing you see as you come back to consciousness is this hand swat him into the ground. Dust cloud (puffs) outward as the claw pulls back, (scraping) bits of dust and blood dripping from it. Orym does not move.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: Now it's Predathos' turn. Let's see if he gets the Shriek of Oblivion back. With a two, he does not. Let's see if he gets the Shriek of the Ravaged Mind back. With a one, he does not!

TALIESIN: (snaps)

MATT: Okay, so he can--

TRAVIS: Do cool things?

MARISHA: Cool things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: Swinging next to it.

TALIESIN: Take a little victory.

TRAVIS: Raise your hand if you're unconscious.

MATT: Fall underneath. Orym is down.

TALIESIN: Very unconscious.

LIAM: Fucker!

MATT: It's going to shift over here after that Disintegrate.

MARISHA: Oh, this is it probably. (laughs)

MATT: He's going to come for Laudna.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: That's a natural 17 plus-- That's a 30 to hit. I'm sorry, 31 to hit.

MARISHA: Hits.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Mirror Image.

MATT: Oh right, yeah.

LAURA: Still have that up.

SAM: Oh.

MARISHA: Yes, I do. Yep.

LAURA: Come on, come on, come on!

MARISHA: It worked.

LAURA: Mirror Image?

MATT: Oh my god. All right. (laughs) Its mouth goes for--

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: -- the multiple Laudnas around there.

MARISHA: I recast it.

MATT: The rest of you watch as it snaps down and swallows one of them, and then it seems to chew nothing as Laudna keeps running along.

LAURA: Thank god.

LIAM: Good job, witch.

LAURA: Good job, witch!

MATT: He's now going to activate two of the limbs.

ROBBIE: (groans)

MARISHA: This is so stressful.

ROBBIE: Oh boy.

MATT: One of them is going to come after-- Actually, it's going to activate that one twice. So one's coming after Ashton because you're still up. Natural 20.

ASHLEY: No!

TALIESIN: All right. All right.

LAURA: No!

MATT: On the kraken die.

TRAVIS: Wow!

TALIESIN: All right. All right. I am blocking--

TRAVIS: Wow!

TALIESIN: -- that fucking body. I am staring it down. I'm blocking that fucking body.

MATT: I am rolling--

MARISHA: What's his hit points?

LAURA: 22.

MATT: -- terrifyingly good right now. All right, so that's 3d12.

LIAM: Wow.

LAURA: He's down. He's going to go down.

MARISHA: He's down regardless.

LIAM: So many crits, Matt.

SAM: Maybe not. He's got special rock man abilities.

MATT: 20, 46 points of slashing damage.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Reduced to half, so 23 points of slashing damage.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: The other hand's coming after you, Fearne.

TALIESIN: Oh, I'll also say-- Well, I'll wait. Finish it up.

MATT: Okay. That's a natural 18. Jesus Christ!

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Well, I have my--

ASHLEY: No, that would have been done.

MATT: It would be a total of 32 to hit you.

ASHLEY: Okay. That just hits. (laughter)

MATT: That is a natural 18, which is a-- crit on these slashes.

SAM: Crit.

MATT: I can't believe the--

ASHLEY: Okay. I don't think I'll be curing you.

MATT: If anyone's got Silvery Barbs, now would be the time to do it.

TRAVIS: I have silvery pubes, but--

MATT: That works too.

MARISHA: I'm so low on hit points. Are you about to go? Is this going to take you out?

LAURA: She's going to die.

ROBBIE: You're going down?

ASHLEY: Can I--

SAM: Yeah, it won't--

ASHLEY: I can't Silvery Barbs, right?

LAURA: He's down too.

ASHLEY: Because I already did.

MATT: You can, as a reaction.

LAURA: Did you go down on that?

MARISHA: Yeah, but I don't want to--

TALIESIN: I'm fine.

LAURA: Really?

MARISHA: I would have to burn a 5th-level spell just to Silvery Barbs--

ASHLEY: Or can I--

MARISHA: -- so I don't want to do it if she's going to be down regardless.

ASHLEY: -- move out of the way?

ASHLEY: What?

MATT: You can Uncanny Dodge to take half damage.

TRAVIS: I mean, Fearne is next in the initiative.

ASHLEY: There's no-- I mean, I have five hit points, you guys.

MARISHA: You have five hit points?

MATT: Or you can try and Silvery Barbs it and it might miss if you're lucky.

LAURA: He might miss. He might totally miss you.

MATT: Up to you.

LIAM: He might miss entirely.

MATT: It's up to you.

ASHLEY: Silvery Barbs.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Oh, that's right. You have it.

LAURA: Yeah, you have Silvery Barbs.

ASHLEY: I do have Silvery Barbs.

MATT: All right. I'm going to roll this above here because this is--

ASHLEY: But didn't I use a reaction?

LAURA: No, it came back around.

MATT: It came back around since your turn.

ASHLEY: It came back around. Okay, Silvery Barbs.

MATT: That's going to be a 19 to hit you.

ASHLEY: (laughs) Yeah.

MARISHA: Shield?

MATT: She just used her reaction to--

MARISHA: You just used your reaction.

MATT: -- cast Silvery Barbs.

ASHLEY: I used my reaction--

MARISHA: But it's not a crit. But you're going to go down regardless.

SAM: Yeah. You had to try.

TRAVIS: Got to try.

LIAM: Right.

TRAVIS: Got to try.

MATT: Your AC's 19?

ASHLEY: AC is 17.

LAURA: AC is 17.

MATT: 17. Okay.

MARISHA: Wow. Wow, that's so--

TRAVIS: There's no quit--

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: -- in Bells Hells.

MARISHA: -- tight. That was so tight.

MATT: That's going to be 23 points of slashing damage to you.

ASHLEY: I'm out. I'm out.

TRAVIS: (echoing blow)

MATT: Fearne crumples to the ground from the claw swipe.

ASHLEY: Damn.

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: Knocked over to the ground.

ASHLEY: Damn.

MATT: All right, that's going to--

TALIESIN: Relentless Rage.

MATT: Hmm?

TALIESIN: Relentless Rage.

TRAVIS: You pop up.

MATT: Oh, because that brought you to zero.

SAM: Yeah, rock man powers.

TALIESIN: Yep, I'm fine.

MATT: Well, you're still at one hit point.

TALIESIN: I'm at one hit point. I am not falling the fuck down, though.

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Wait, but he takes-- I got hit with melee so he takes fire damage.

MATT: Technically, yeah. Roll it.

ASHLEY: He takes a d8.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

SAM: This is it.

ROBBIE: Get that going on.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: Hey! Five points of fire damage.

ROBBIE: Yeah!

LAURA: How do you want to do this?

MATT: It all counts.

ASHLEY: Fuck you!

MATT: That would be two to the main head. Okay. All right, so that finishes-- Well, Predathos is going to roll to see if he gets his--

MARISHA: Braius, you're down?

MATT: No, he does not get Miracle Devourer this turn.

SAM: Yeah, still down.

LIAM: Yep.

ASHLEY: Mister? Does Mister not go because I'm out?

MATT: I think Mister could still go.

ASHLEY: All right.

MATT: Mister's furious now, especially. Mister goes: (furious screech) and grabs a big, old flaming turd, pops it in his gun. (cocks gun)

ASHLEY: Yeah, that'll work. 26.

MATT: Takes a Percy stance.

SAM and LAURA: (laugh)

MARISHA: We're all together.

ASHLEY: He did good. He did good.

LAURA: He roars, "Predathos!"

SAM: That Olympic gold medalist.

MATT: (monkey screeches)

ASHLEY: Ooh, I rolled a six!

LIAM: (monkey hoots)

ASHLEY: Okay, so 11 points of damage.

SAM: Hey!

MATT: Great.

ASHLEY: Sorry, 12 points of damage.

SAM: Whoa!

MATT: 12 points of damage. (wet thud) Splat. Right in one of its many eyes. Okay, that finishes Predathos' turn. Fearne, roll a death saving throw for me.

ASHLEY: Okay. Let's do--

LIAM: Roll your tiniest d20.

MARISHA: This is crazy!

TRAVIS: It's amazing.

MARISHA: This is crazy!

ASHLEY: I'm going to do this one.

MARISHA: I feel so alive!

LAURA: That's the one you rolled last time. No, it's not.

ASHLEY: No, it's not.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: You're down.

ROBBIE: Braius--

MARISHA: We got four.

TRAVIS: Say it! (laughs) Oh man!

ASHLEY: I rolled a one.

LAURA: I really feel like that is the one!

ASHLEY: I know, you were right.

LAURA: That is the one you rolled!

ASHLEY: It's not the one. No, it's not the one. This is the one that I rolled a one on.

LAURA: Oh god!

ASHLEY: So I'm going to put this one--

LAURA: Don't roll green ones!

ASHLEY: -- out here too.

ROBBIE: What was it?

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

SAM: It's a one.

ASHLEY: So that's two fails.

LIAM: That's two fails.

MATT: Two failed death saving throws, Fearne.

LAURA: Random superstitions. Don't roll green on your saving throws.

ASHLEY: I know. Don't roll green on your saving throws. It means it doesn't--

LAURA: It's just a roll.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: Shit, shit. Fuck, fuck.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Love it.

ASHLEY: All right.

SAM: Give me the one you just rolled.

ASHLEY: All right.

MATT: Braius.

SAM: I'm going to roll it for mine.

ASHLEY: Those are both ones that I rolled.

LAURA: Ones on.

ASHLEY: Why did you do that?

TRAVIS: Did you?!

SAM: No, it's a four.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Why did you--

MATT: That's a failed death save, Braius.

LAURA: Why would you do that?

ASHLEY: No! You're not touching these!

ROBBIE: You got two fails?

TRAVIS: You wanted the evil!

ASHLEY: No.

ROBBIE: You got two fails.

LIAM: That was your second, right?

SAM: Yeah.

LIAM: Second failure. Yep, yep, yep, yep.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Dorian, it's your turn.

MARISHA: Come on, baby.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay! Get your heads in the game!

LAURA: Look at all that's clustered around you, Dorian! Look at--

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to see, I have to see. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Our heads are in the game.

ASHLEY: Let's start taking it seriously here.

MARISHA: I don't think we are doing anything tactically wrong.

SAM: Wait, this is serious?

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)

ROBBIE: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Oh my god. Actually, this is-- Holy fuck, please.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

ROBBIE: So I can get up now?

LIAM: This guy can just stand here, do nothing?

MATT: You can if you want to, yeah.

SAM: Christine!

ROBBIE: Okay.

MATT: Half your movement to stand.

SAM: (screaming) Christine!

ROBBIE: Half? What'd you say?

MATT: So half your movement to stand up.

ROBBIE: Half my movement to stand up.

MATT: Correct. You look around you and you see Imogen on the ground, unconscious, but pulled free. Orym, on the ground within a smashed hand crater in the ground, not moving. Fearne and Braius both to the side of you, unconscious, not moving.

SAM: My hand falls into Fearne's hand.

MARISHA: Everybody else looking like absolute shit.

MATT: Yeah, you see Ashton--

TRAVIS: -- like ass.

MATT: -- holding on by a thread, but fury in his bones and Laudna right next to it with two other Laudnas floating around also looking fairly hurt. What do you do?

ROBBIE: So four down? Yeah.

TRAVIS: Chetney's over in the corner with one leg hiked up in the air trying to lick his own-- (laughter) I've always wanted to try this!

ROBBIE: Now's the time.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Four down and I'm to one point.

ROBBIE: Yeah. So I think weakly, I will use my 15 feet to fly straight up from where I'm at.

MATT: Okay, your flying speed is what?

ROBBIE: 40.

MATT: 40. So half of that would be 20, I'd say.

ROBBIE: I'm trying to go above everyone and straight down. It's my-- I've been saving it.

TRAVIS: What, what? Saving what?

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Come on, baby.

ROBBIE: Straight down, epicenter in the middle of them, 7th-level--

LAURA: (gasps)

ROBBIE: -- Mass Cure Wounds.

SAM: Yes!

MARISHA: Let's fucking go!

MATT: Let's go.

MARISHA: Roll big! Roll big, baby! Roll big.

ROBBIE: I know. Fingies crossed!

ASHLEY: Come on. Come on.

ROBBIE: It's five, right? Oh, let's do good. Great. Seven and seven.

MARISHA: That's not bad. It's not bad.

ROBBIE: 14 plus six.

SAM: 20.

ROBBIE: 20 plus another six. 26 plus three.

SAM: Whoa!

ROBBIE: 29.

SAM: Whoa!

MATT: So 29 hit points to?

ROBBIE: (sighs) I have six targets. I'll pick-- It's everyone, right?

TRAVIS: Definitely down.

LAURA: It's everybody that's in reach of you?

TRAVIS: Definitely unconscious.

MATT: Six targets.

ROBBIE: Choose up to six creatures in-- Each target regains hit points equal to 5d8.

ROBBIE and MATT: Yeah.

MATT: Plus your charisma.

ROBBIE: Yeah, which is three.

MATT: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Yeah, so it's 29.

MATT: So 29 hit points to six targets. You have seven within range. Who does not get healed?

ROBBIE: Everybody who's down gets up, right?

LAURA: Uh-huh.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

ROBBIE: Okay.

MARISHA: 100%.

ROBBIE: So Fearne, Braius, Orym, and Imogen?

MATT: Sure.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: So either Ashton, you, or--

MARISHA: Laudna.

MATT: -- or Laudna do not heal. Which of them does not get healed?

MARISHA: I would argue with--

ROBBIE: Me.

MARISHA: Mm-mm.

TRAVIS: No no no, you got to heal yourself.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

MARISHA: You have to heal yourself.

ROBBIE: But I can't do any DPS. We got one round. I don't have much left to heal.

MARISHA: How much hit points? How many hit points do you have right now?

ROBBIE: 15.

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: I've got Mirror Image up so I'm ever-- hmm.

ROBBIE: You can heal still.

SAM: If I choose to.

ROBBIE: No, I'll stick with my choice.

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: Okay.

ROBBIE: I don't want it.

MATT: All right. So 29 hit points to Fearne, Laudna, Braius, Imogen, Ashton, Orym.

MARISHA: 29?

ASHLEY: (gasps)

LAURA: 29?

MATT: 29.

SAM: No!

LIAM: Let's get those minis up.

SAM: I wanted to meet him.

MATT: So that's your movement, that's your action. You still have your bonus.

MARISHA: Wow, wow, wow, wow.

ROBBIE: This is such a basic bard question to ask--

MATT: Yeah.

ROBBIE: -- at the end of the road, and you answered this. Can two people be inspired? Can I, if I have one more inspiration?

MATT: You can inspire a single target.

ROBBIE: A single target.

TRAVIS: For me?

ROBBIE: So if Chet already-- No, no, I mean, Chet already has it. Can I do it again and somebody else can be or?

MATT: Correct, yeah, you can inspire--

ROBBIE: Oh, oh. That's what I'm asking. Okay, yeah, yeah.

MATT: You can have multiple people inspired at once.

ROBBIE: Then I'll give inspiration to our other bard and healer, Braius.

SAM: (exclaims)

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: Wow.

SAM: Whoa!

MATT: All right take a d12 inspiration die, Braius.

SAM: But I--

ASHLEY: Wow.

SAM: But I betrayed you. Why are you treating me with kindness?

ROBBIE: For some reason, I still trust you.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: All right. At the end of your turn, he's going to use one legendary action to attack Imogen with the claw.

SAM: Where is she?

LAURA: You're on the ground so it's advantage.

LIAM: Under Dorian.

SAM: Is that near me?

LIAM: More or less under Dorian.

MATT: Natural three for a--

LIAM: Yes, very close to--

MATT: -- 17?

LIAM: Wow.

ASHLEY: No.

MATT: And a 25.

SAM: Except Truthbearer, fabled plate of Uther Vendrock?

MATT: How close do you have to be next to them?

SAM: I can't see. Am I within five feet of her?

MATT: You are 15 feet from her.

ROBBIE: (groans)

MATT: Sorry.

LIAM: Oh.

ASHLEY: Of Uther Vendrock.

TRAVIS: Such a good name.

MATT: I know.

TRAVIS: It's such a good name.

MATT: That's 26 points of slashing damage to you on the ground.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

MARISHA: Are you-- You're still up, yeah?

LAURA: Got six points left.

SAM: Hey!

TALIESIN: Still up, still up.

LAURA: 26 or 23?

MATT: 26.

LAURA: So I have three points.

TALIESIN: Okay.

SAM: That's all you need.

MATT: All righty, Chetney, you're up.

TRAVIS: (chuckles)

ROBBIE: (chuckles)

TRAVIS: I go over to Imogen and I start applying slickshimmer oil for a minute, greasing her up. (laughter)

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: To apply 10 temporary hit-- No. (laughter)

MATT: Is this how you apply it to Imogen?

TRAVIS: Oh! Your back muscles!

LAURA: How'd you even get to me, Chet?

TRAVIS: Don't question it! (chuckles) The arm in the corner.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: The melee on that thing is 30 feet, right?

MATT: Yeah. It's pretty far range.

TRAVIS: It's badonk so I can't even, (sighs) I can't even leave its melee without provoking an attack of opportunity, right?

MATT: Probably.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: I mean, you can move within its range without invoking, but as soon as you leave it. So if you get beyond 30 feet, it'll take it.

TRAVIS: I actually can't cast Shatter again which means I'm stuck there.

MATT: I mean, you can move within that 30 feet. You just, as soon as you--

TRAVIS: Yeah, I don't think I can get within melee of the head.

LAURA: Whatever we do to the--

TRAVIS: Is the arm 30 feet from the head?

MATT: The arm is somewhere between 30 and 35. It is 30, about 30 feet from the head.

TRAVIS: Otherwise, I can't do anything except hit the arm, which is worthless. I will try my luck at moving towards the head and staying within the melee of the arm.

MATT: Okay, what's your movement? Oh, your movement speed is--

TRAVIS: It's 80 with the Boots of Speed.

MATT: Yeah, so you make it right there right on the cusp. You remain in melee range. You do not get an opportunity attack.

TRAVIS: Bonkers. That's bonkers. I'll take two swings with Turmoil, please.

MATT: All right, it's going to use its reaction to Condense Glass and gain 20 temporary hit points.

ROBBIE: Aw!

TRAVIS: I have advantage and maybe we'll get lucky. That's 29 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

TRAVIS: The second one-- I don't get crits on 19, do I? Nope, I don't think so.

MATT: You do not.

TRAVIS: Because I'm not wearing that stupid bib! 25.

MATT: 25.

TRAVIS: Does that hit?

MATT: It does.

TRAVIS: Okay. First one.

LAURA: Do we still get those bonuses standing next to you, or that's gone?

TRAVIS: 10, 12.

TALIESIN: No, it's still up.

TRAVIS: Plus six, 18. Plus six is 24.

MARISHA: Is your hammer still in its mouth?

TALIESIN: No, the hammer's just where I left it.

TRAVIS: 24 points of damage.

TALIESIN: I'm going to try and get in.

TRAVIS: Plus--

TALIESIN: We'll see how it goes.

TRAVIS: -- seven points of thunder. So 14.

TALIESIN: I don't move very fast right now.

TRAVIS: So 38 points, with 14 of that being thunder.

MATT: Great! Awesome! Heavy hit to the back. You knock off temporary hit points, but you also take, that's nine points of psychic damage.

TRAVIS: I'll take six because I heal three at the beginning of this round.

MATT: There you go. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Those points are hurting. 10, 11, 16, 17. Plus six is 23. 23 points of damage, plus five points of thunder for 10. So 10.

MATT: So 33 points.

TRAVIS: Yeah, 33 points.

MATT: Ooh! Nice round! So you're hitting the back of it best you can, wielding in your arm, the weapon, the implement, the instrument of the one that first brought you all together, the silver symbol of Eshteross.

TRAVIS: That's right, it is Eshteross' scythe.

MATT: Carving into the back of this creature's head with each thunderous blast in its back, more crystal spreading and flying. You don't even have a visual range on if your friends are safe or not in the moment, as you are giving into the wolven urge to destroy and hacking at it from behind.

TRAVIS: That's all I've got.

MATT: Finishes your turn, Chetney. All right. That's going to bring us to initiative count 20. One. Only one thing is going to move. The head is going to--

SAM: No!

ROBBIE: Man!

LAURA: No!

ROBBIE: Savage!

MATT: -- there.

LAURA: Fuck!

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: Okay. Also, end of Chetney's turn.

MARISHA: God, my stomach.

MATT: Doesn't have those back, so it can't use those.

MARISHA: Going to throw up.

MATT: I can't use them. Nah, you know what? Sorry. It's going to shift there instead because it can't use other special attacks. It can use its other two legendary actions to go after you, Ashton.

TALIESIN: All right.

ROBBIE: Man!

MATT: That's going to be a natural two.

TALIESIN: Oh, you miss.

MATT: But, hold on. That's a 16 total.

TALIESIN: That doesn't hit. I'm using Dreadful Misfortune.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: What is that?

TRAVIS: Dreadful Misfortune?

LAURA: I've never heard you say that.

TALIESIN: I've never said it.

MATT: You've used it once before.

MARISHA: 120 episodes in.

TALIESIN: Once before?

MATT: You used it last fight. How many times can you use it?

TALIESIN: This is my last one it burns a--

MATT: Chaos Burst?

TALIESIN: Yeah, and that's my last Chaos Burst.

MATT: All right, let's go.

TALIESIN: I think you roll that. I use my Chaos Burst plus my reaction, an enemy must attack themselves for half damage.

MATT: Okay. All right.

ROBBIE: Oh! (laughs)

MATT: So that's half damage on himself as he bites on his own tongue. (laughter)

MATT: We've all been there.

ROBBIE: (lisped) You son of a bitch!

LIAM: (groans)

MARISHA: Just the worst!

LAURA: (lisped) You son of a bitch!

ROBBIE: (laughs)

LIAM: Now I'm really mad!

ASHLEY: He kills himself.

LAURA: How do you want to do this? (laughter)

MATT: That would be amazing. That would be 41 points damage reduced to 20. So it takes--

MARISHA: I mean, that's crazy.

ROBBIE: Oh, hey. That's great!

MATT: -- 20 points of damage to itself from biting its own tongue (snarls) as it tries to snap and bite at you. Your presence alters the space and probability around it, and it ends up carving-- A big chunk of its tongue gets severed. It hits the ground and starts writhing around.

LIAM: A crown dislodges.

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: All that's going to finish it's reaction. That brings this to Imogen.

TRAVIS: Oh boy!

LIAM: Let's go!

ASHLEY: Come on!

LIAM: Let's go!

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: ♪ Dun da da dun ♪ ♪ Da da dun dun dun ♪

LAURA: I want to get up on my hands and knees, and as I start to rise up, I look down and I look at my hand and I see the ring that the Arch Heart gave me.

MARISHA: (gasps and pants) It's time! Oh god! It's time!

TRAVIS: Wait, the what? Oh yeah!

MARISHA: Oh god!

MATT: Forgot about that.

LAURA: The Ring of Remembrance.

ASHLEY: Yes, yes, yes, yes.

SAM: What's it do? What's that do?

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: So as an action, I can activate the arcane power within this band.

MATT: This is an Abubakar special.

LAURA: If I roll-- I'm going to roll a d20, and if I roll above my current hit points, then I cast Meteor Swarm.

SAM: Whoa!

ROBBIE: Whoa!

TRAVIS: Are you serious?

LAURA: But if I cast below it, I'm fucking dead.

TRAVIS: Like dead-dead?

MATT: What?!

TALIESIN: Yep.

LAURA: I take 20d6 fire and 20d6 bludgeoning against myself.

SAM: Oh my!

TRAVIS: Can I just say--

MATT: How many hit points do you have left?

TRAVIS: -- how in love with you I am right now. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Yes!

MARISHA: (laughs)

LAURA: I have three hit points.

MATT: Okay, so you have to roll a four or higher.

MARISHA: Good odds.

LAURA: I have to roll a four or a higher.

MARISHA: Oh, and so it's not a meets it thing.

LAURA: If I don't, I'm dead.

MARISHA: Got to roll over three.

TRAVIS: Now, you should really--

LAURA: I got to roll.

TRAVIS: -- consider the dice.

LAURA: Equal or--

MATT: Equal or higher, it says?

LAURA: Equal or lower than my current hit points, I die.

ASHLEY: Guidance.

MATT: Okay, so four or higher.

LAURA: Four or higher.

TRAVIS: Make sure you pick this die carefully because if it kills you, people are going to want to buy that someday.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Charity auction. $20,000.

MATT: (exhales)

LAURA: Oh god!

TALIESIN: I love how dark y'all are.

ASHLEY: Honey, I can't do this.

TALIESIN: Oh boy!

MATT: (exhales)

TRAVIS: Everybody, put a hand on--

LAURA: You know what?

SAM: That's very--

TRAVIS: Put a hand on Imogen.

LIAM: Well, that's a weird--

LAURA: 12!

TRAVIS: (sucks in breath)

LAURA: I rolled a fucking 12! (clamoring)

MARISHA: Come on! Come on!

TRAVIS: You're out of--

MATT: All right, so those are 40-foot radius spheres.

SAM: We're all dead.

ROBBIE: (laughs) Oh, wait!

TALIESIN: No.

ASHLEY: Well, no. No.

LAURA: No.

ASHLEY: Because she can place them where she wants them.

MATT: Where do you want to place them? This is the center of it, and it covers--

SAM: Jesus.

ASHLEY: Yes, yes, yes, yes!

MATT: -- this radius.

LIAM: Over here?

MATT: You get to drop--

LAURA: Four of them?

MATT: -- four of them.

ROBBIE: What?

SAM: Well, you can kill all the hands, too.

LAURA: I can kill all the hands.

ASHLEY: Yep.

LIAM and LAURA: Yeah.

LAURA: So I'm going to drop one here.

LIAM: Wide circle.

LAURA: That gets the head and this hand.

MATT: And that hand.

LIAM: So it's surrounding us like an arena.

MATT: All of them can only be hit once. It's not like you can do multiple damage to them at once.

LAURA: Okay, so I'll hit this one, this one, there, and there.

MARISHA: Yeah. Yeah!

TRAVIS: Oh my god! This is a one-off, right?

ASHLEY and MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Way to go, Bailey!

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: This is a one off. This is a 9th-level.

LIAM: Way to go.

LAURA: Meteor Swarm.

MATT: So roll 40d6 for me, please.

SAM: 40?

MARISHA: 40--

LAURA: 40?

MARISHA: -- d6.

MATT: It's 20d6 fire damage and 20d6 bludgeoning damage.

LAURA: Can I--

ASHLEY: Damn!

LAURA: -- use a sorcery point--

MARISHA: Empower that shit!

LAURA: -- to transmute it?

MARISHA: Oh! (gasps)

SAM: Into thunder?

MATT: Read the metamagic for me. (evil laughter) (evil laughter)

LAURA: "Spend a sorcery point to change the damage type from one to another." As my page reloads.

MATT: Of a spell you cast?

LAURA: Of a spell I cast. Hold on, it reloaded on me.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Like it's wont to do.

ASHLEY: That makes sense to me!

LAURA: I can change--

MATT: Technically, you're casting it through the item.

LAURA: I can change fire to thunder. I can't change bludgeoning, but I can change fire to thunder.

MATT: Okay, hold on a second. let me check one thing.

TRAVIS: Holy!

ROBBIE: (whistles)

LIAM: That's a whole ball game.

LAURA: When I cast a spell.

ASHLEY: That's, yeah.

LIAM: That's a whole ballgame.

LAURA: This says I immediately cast Meteor Swarm spell.

SAM: Oh, so you're casting this.

LAURA: So this ring says that I cast it.

MATT: Hmm. Let me see.

LIAM: (exhales) It's like the whole ball game anyway?

LAURA: I know, but--

LIAM: But it's fucking baller.

TRAVIS: I was not even clocking this thing. I mean, there's a reason. You got to be low.

TALIESIN: That was the get her up with one point. It was the get her up with one point.

MATT: It is technically a spell you're casting through the ring. So you can transmute the fire.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

MATT: So we'll separate this roll. 20d6 for bludgeoning.

LAURA: Okay. Okay.

TRAVIS: Can we get an ad read for these dice rolls?

SAM: Guys, you can buy the dice that she's using for this roll.

LAURA: Can you?

SAM: At Laura's Etsy site. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I think I gave you that green one in year one.

ROBBIE: Have you ever been happier with that fist full of dice?

TRAVIS: Which is--

LAURA: I mean-- Wait, wait.

TRAVIS: -- angry forever.

LAURA: 12, 13, 14.

MATT: Her dice collection all these years has been working up to this moment.

MARISHA: Do you need some? I've got some.

ROBBIE: Yeah, everybody, we've all got some!

MARISHA: Do you need some?

LAURA: Wait.

ROBBIE: Roll them all at once!

LAURA: That's what I'm going to do. 15--

ASHLEY: She might only want to roll her own.

LAURA: -- 16.

ASHLEY: I have some, but she might want to roll her own.

LAURA: 17, 18, 19, 20. Oh, here, here. 20.

MATT: Man, if she rolled a three.

LAURA: No, I've got 20.

TRAVIS: 20's good. 20's good. You got to do it fast.

SAM: Woo!

LAURA: Okay. Okay, okay. Okay, wait. Where's the sixes?

TRAVIS: Take your time. Take your time. Take your time.

SAM: They're all ones.

TRAVIS: I've never heard of 40d6.

LAURA: 18.

TRAVIS: Wait, what was--

LAURA: Shh! Don't say numbers! 18.

TRAVIS: I forget who rolled-- 28.

TRAVIS: Keyleth's Keyfish.

LAURA: 38.

MATT: Oh, that was just falling damage.

LAURA: 38.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but it was like--

LIAM: Lots of d6s.

TRAVIS: 10d6 or something.

LAURA: 48.

MATT: Yeah, that was a lot.

LAURA: 58. 60. 65. 70.

SAM: Seems good.

LAURA: 74.

ASHLEY: Okay, 74 for the first.

LAURA: 74 for the first.

MATT: 74 bludgeoning. Now roll that again for the thunder damage.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

LAURA: Oh my god. Oh my god.

SAM: You can't even hold them all!

ROBBIE: Yeah!

MARISHA: And it's for each.

TALIESIN: What am I going to do with all these dice?

LAURA: Oh my god!

ASHLEY: Ooh!

LAURA: Oh god! Okay.

SAM: There's one that's cocked right there.

LAURA: That's a six. (laughter)

MATT: Roll it again. (laughter)

LAURA: That's cocked again.

TALIESIN: That's very cocked.

LAURA: Hold on. Five. Okay, okay, okay. Hold on, hold on. I'm adding up my sixes.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: So that's 18, 24, (excited panting) 30, 40, 50. There's that, 50.

SAM: It's starting to look rough.

MATT: Well, it still has to make dex save for half damage.

LAURA: 56.

ROBBIE: Mm.

MARISHA: It's got to do dex save for a comet!

LAURA: 56.

ROBBIE: And we can--

LAURA: 60.

TRAVIS: They're meteors. They are two different things.

ROBBIE: (chuckles)

MARISHA: That's true. One's made of ice.

LAURA: 66. 70.

LIAM: Move over, comets. Now they're simply meteor.

LAURA: 73, 75.

ROBBIE: (chuckles)

MARISHA: She ain't got anymore.

LAURA: 77. 80.

TALIESIN: Oh my god!

ASHLEY: That's 154.

MATT: All right. Well, first I'm going to see if if they make their saves.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: So for the hands, the far hand--

LIAM: Imogen was a beast in this fight.

MARISHA: Four of them.

MATT: -- fails. That hand is absolutely obliterated. This hand. Well, here, I'll put it this way. Describe to me how you conjure these meteors and what it looks like in the middle of this chamber as you look down at your hand.

LAURA: As I look down at my hand, I think back to the vision that we watched of the Arch Heart calling down the Meteor Swarm to destroy Aeor. And I am going to channel that. (exhales) But there's no sky open above us, so this chamber starts to rumble and my telekinetic abilities are going to start breaking down giant rocks from the ceiling and slamming them down.

MATT: As the rocks begin to dislodge from the top with incredible telekinetic force, you watch as purple lightning (sizzling) begins to completely swarm around the outside and forming them into small storm bombs, essentially. and forming them into small storm bombs, essentially.

LAURA: Wind starts to swirl around me as I press my hands down into the ground. My hair flies up. White eyes.

MATT: (explosive impacts) This hand is absolutely obliterated. This far hand over there succeeds with its save, which means it takes 38 points of bludgeoning damage and still 80 points of thunder damage, which obliterates it.

SAM and TRAVIS: (laugh)

MARISHA: She is the storm, baby!

MATT: This one here.

ROBBIE: Yeah!

LIAM: One!

LAURA: Whoa!

MATT: This one is destroyed.

TALIESIN: Big money! Big money!

MATT: That one.

LAURA: Please, please, please!

MATT: That is seven plus nine. Dex is going to be 16.

LAURA: 22.

ASHLEY: (gasps)

ROBBIE: (whistles)

MATT: So that's going to be 74. 80 is doubled. So it's 160 plus 74. 234 points of damage. Imogen Temult, how do you want to do this? (cheering)

TALIESIN: Yes! (yelling)

TRAVIS: (laughs) (cheering)

ASHLEY: Yes!

TALIESIN: Woo!

TRAVIS: With three hit points! (laughs)

ASHLEY: Oh my god!

MATT: In the back of your mind, you hear a distant voice echo, (Arch Heart) "Absolutely beautiful!"

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA: Oh!

TRAVIS: Oh my god!

ROBBIE: (whistles)

LAURA: (inhales) I'm going to look up from where I am, which is right underneath it. I'm going to make eye contact with Predathos.

MATT: (growls)

LAURA: You're mine.

MATT: (rumbling) (growls) Energy begins to billow in its mouth, the dark beam begins to reform. (rumbling) (sizzling) (impacts) All of you, your vision is clouded with complete and utter dust obfuscation. Shards of shale and rock and crystal pepper your bodies to the point where you have to curl into a ball to maintain any semblance of not losing your vision or eyes through the smattering of danger. Then, the quiet. As the dust slowly begins to settle and the broken shattered glass head of Predathos itself is crumbled and motionless, where elements of its arms still remain themselves, also back to the glass pillars that once marbled through this land. Floating there, hair adrift, Ruidusborn vessel, Imogen Temult. And a few of you are still unconscious, though battle is over.

TALIESIN: Are you still unconscious?

SAM: No.

MARISHA: Who's un--

TRAVIS: Raise your hand if you're unconscious.

MATT: Anybody? Oh, is anybody still unconscious? No, they're all still up?

LAURA: Everybody's up.

ROBBIE: We got picked up, yeah.

MATT: That's right!

LIAM: We got Dorian up.

MATT: So here, you all sit.

LAURA: (exhales)

MATT: As, out of the crystalline form of the Predathos head, a light gently begins to emerge and a semi-humanoid entity made of gentle light seems to stumble out, the one that you encountered when you first arrived. It looks towards you. "Can we go now?" It walks forward like a toddler.

LAURA: The Matron told me to contain it, right?

MATT: Its light begins to dim and you watch as its body splinters into dozens, hundreds of small motes of sparking light, and it (whooshes) drifts into Imogen. Whereas when Predathos had merged with its vessel on your arrival and wrestled control from you, in this instance, it's like cradling the tiniest little frog or field mouse. It is diminished, it is tired, and for the moment, docile. Beneath it all, it's already begun to grow.

MARISHA: Are you all right? How does it feel?

LIAM: Is it affecting you?

LAURA: Not yet. But I think it will.

MARISHA: We should hurry.

LAURA: We need to talk to the gods.

MARISHA: We need to talk to them again. I pull back out the mask.

MATT: You look at the mask and it is currently grayed and crumbled, and as you glance over, it falls apart in your hand, like old paper mâché.

TALIESIN: I think they're waiting for us. Let's go meet them.

LIAM: Out of here?

TALIESIN: Out of here.

LIAM: This is it. We're risking it all. Again.

MARISHA: That was incredible.

LAURA: That was incredible.

SAM: Thank you, Dorian.

ROBBIE: You're welcome. This is scary. Should we leave?

LAURA: We have to hurry.

LIAM: Yeah. If we have to take it out of here, we got to go as fast as possible.

SAM: To where?

TALIESIN: Out. Just out. Everything else, I think, will work itself out, but we have to get out of here. Now.

LIAM: Got to go do some--

MATT: (cracking)

TALIESIN: I'm getting out--

MATT: Sections of ceiling that were dislodged have left a semi-fractured ceiling above have left a semi-fractured ceiling above and cracks within it are beginning to spider and spread.

LAURA: We should go.

MATT: What was exposed above, you can see the continued glass of the Prime Pillar, itself the pulse now grown dark. (cracking) You hear another loud crack, like a massive glacier suddenly shifting and breaking.

LAURA: We don't have teleport anymore.

MARISHA: No.

LAURA: Thank you for that.

MATT: Down the hall, you hear a voice, weak. (Liliana) "Imogen?"

ASHLEY: Oh, Mama.

LAURA: Mama!

MATT: That stepping through the barrier. still semi-translucent from Ludinus and your work, you see Liliana holding herself, her coat closed.

TRAVIS: (sniffs) Does that smell like Liliana?

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: 15.

MATT: 15?

SAM: (gasps) Oh my god.

LAURA: Oh no. It can't be.

SAM: A smell whisper? How does that even work?

TRAVIS: Take out my wood chisel and I start--

LAURA and MATT: (laugh)

TRAVIS: -- doing my nails.

LAURA: Filing your nails.

MARISHA: Sincerely, though, I'm going to cast Message into Imogen's head. You're going to be a prime target right now.

LAURA: We need to hurry.

TALIESIN: Out of this room.

MARISHA: We need to get you out of here and don't trust anyone. This is not me casting blame or doubt.

MATT: "Is it done?"

SAM: Huh?

MATT: "Is it done?"

LAURA: It's done. We need to go.

MATT: "Where?"

LAURA: (laughs) I don't know.

MATT: (booming)

LAURA: Out.

TALIESIN: I am shoving everybody.

TRAVIS: Away from here!

LIAM: Yeah, up and out.

MATT: You all start stepping back from where you came. Back into the outer edges and layers of the Prime Pillar. You hear heavy cracks below. And the chamber behind you, part of it begins to shuffle in (rumbling) and collapse and fill with rocks, glass, and debris.

LAURA: Does anybody have any healing as we run?

SAM: Sure.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

MARISHA: I have a shitty potion.

SAM: Oh, yeah, we have potions.

LAURA: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. But everybody needs to take one.

TALIESIN: Go nuts.

LIAM: Orym is starting to, little tendrils are spreading all across him and he's actually starting to repair while we move. And I'm going to use my 35 passive perception while I still have it and try to listen for Ludinus coming back or anything as we go through so we don't get jumped.

MATT: All right, make a perception check for me.

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: Chetney.

TRAVIS: Hmm?

SAM: Take this.

TRAVIS: Really?

SAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: What is it?

LAURA: 29 points of healing.

SAM: It's alcohol.

TRAVIS: Fucking A.

LIAM: 27.

MARISHA: Even though it's crazy low.

TRAVIS: Five, six.

MARISHA: Are you crazy low, Dorian?

TRAVIS: Seven plus what, four?

SAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Take it. Thank you, Braius. I'll make out with you later.

MATT: You all continue into the next chamber, back to where you had defeated, you can see the bodies still of the destroyed other Ruidusborn that were sealing Liliana for the near attempt of Ludinus taking her permanently within himself, as well as the dark sludge that was once Ludinus' body. You head further out as the elements around you are (cracking) starting to stumble and fall. One of them slams close to the next of you, this side of the table. Could you all make dexterity saving throws for me, please? (groaning)

TALIESIN: I am going to need some fucking help here.

MARISHA: Shit. (grunts)

SAM: If you're next to me, you get a plus four.

TRAVIS: Are we close?

MARISHA: This side of the table?

MATT: I'd say everyone on this side of the table does, yeah.

TRAVIS: 29.

MATT: All right. Take five points of piercing damage.

MARISHA: 24.

MATT: 24? Five points of piercing damage.

ROBBIE: 29 plus four. 33.

MATT: Phew! Five points of piercing damage.

SAM: Natural 20.

MATT: Five points of piercing damage. The blast of glass shards that shoots out from the impact peppers you like a series of small bullets, and you all managed to shrug it off mostly as you rush further into the large crack, the massive crevice that was the opening to the Prime Pillar that you crawled into, and as you step through, you realize that beyond this is an open chasm. You are still in the core of the moon.

LAURA: Oh jeez, how are we going to get out of here?

ROBBIE: I don't know. I don't feel so good.

TRAVIS: Our feet?

SAM: Is anyone chasing us?

MARISHA: You should take this.

LAURA: This thing is falling apart. Everything's falling apart.

TRAVIS: It's really unstable.

ROBBIE: I'm going to cast Cure Wounds on myself.

SAM: Can your mom do something?

ASHLEY: I can do a 4th-level Cure Wounds--

LAURA: She's got nothing.

ASHLEY: -- and a 2nd-level. I have some.

LIAM: I'm going to call out, with Seedling, I get 10 hit points every minute, so five minutes later--

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: -- or 10 minutes later.

MATT: We haven't gotten to five or 10 yet.

LIAM: No, I know.

MATT: But yeah, good to know.

LAURA: Who's low? Who's super low?

ROBBIE: I can do stuff, too.

TALIESIN: What does low mean?

MARISHA: I'm okay.

TRAVIS: I'm under--

TALIESIN: I'm at 43.

TRAVIS: -- under 92 hit points. Every round, I would heal three points, but we're not in initiative, so--

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: I think it's a Bloodlust, so if we're not in combat it doesn't happen.

MATT: No, it happens in combat until you're at half health.

TRAVIS: Does it happen out of combat, too?

MATT: I think so, yeah.

TRAVIS: Okay.

ASHLEY: I get an extra d8.

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

ASHLEY: Ooh.

LAURA: Mm.

LIAM: Do you think the myceit have a quick rise method?

TRAVIS: Express elevator?

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Just keep running.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: That's all we got right now.

MATT: You all continue through the snake of the chasm in the glass.

LAURA: Call out to the gods?

MATT: Until eventually you come to that extended platform where you can see the open chasm above you. There are the pillars that you leapt down to come here, but they're, you know, each is about 30 feet from each going up there, and they're all elevated at this point, so you'd have to--

LAURA: I'm going to Send a message. Do I have any 3rd-level? I have a 4th-level left.

ASHLEY: Have 25 points of healing.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Oh wow. Thank you.

ROBBIE: Do we have time to help each other out? Cast spells, heal and stuff?

LAURA: Heal. I'm going to--

MATT: You have a moment here. You aren't immediately collapsing, but you do hear the collapsing behind you and you do see other fast parts of the chasm, there are the heavy sound of those cracks continuing to break and spiral. And in this place when it echoes, when that noise goes off, that (echoing crack) and it's echoing around the chasm, bouncing off all the stone walls.

LAURA: I'm going to Send a message out to Caleb.

MARISHA: Mm.

MATT: To Caleb.

LAURA: To Caleb.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: We did it, but everything's falling apart. Are you here? Can you get us out?

MATT: Does Caleb have spell slots enough?

LIAM: Oh my gosh.

MATT: From the last time you played him?

LIAM: Oh my good gravy. I don't know. Give me a sec.

ROBBIE: While he's figuring that out, I'm shellshocked, absentmindedly playing my mandolin that Dariax gave me. But-- That was a great mandolin. Because I have slots. I have little low-level healing slots for that.

SAM: Oh cool.

MATT: Yeah.

ROBBIE: So I've got four left. In that amount of time, could I do four, level three healing spells?

MATT: Yeah, you can.

LAURA: As we're going?

ROBBIE: Yeah, I'm twiddling around, playing bad songs. You know, like somebody plays guitar and they can't do a full song? It's snippets of songs?

LAURA and ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ROBBIE: That's what I'm doing. I'll heal Chet for-- Good. Seven, seven, six.

LAURA: Wow.

ROBBIE: 14, 23.

TRAVIS: Oh my god. Thank you.

LAURA: Wow.

TRAVIS: That last cave-in was--

ROBBIE: Eight, five, 16 to--

LAURA: Who's got low? Are you low?

ASHLEY: What are you at, Ash?

MARISHA: I'm at 37.

TALIESIN: I'm at 43.

MARISHA: 37.

LAURA: You're low.

ASHLEY: I have 29.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

ASHLEY: So, I'll take--

ROBBIE: Yeah.

ROBBIE: 16.

ASHLEY: 16?

ROBBIE: I got two more.

TALIESIN: Are you still on fire at all?

ROBBIE: Eight, 13 to Braius.

ASHLEY: Yeah. I haven't put that out yet.

SAM: Thank you.

TALIESIN: That's good.

LIAM: I don't have any--

ROBBIE: My last one. Yes.

LIAM: -- slots for Teleport.

ROBBIE: Eight, eight, five.

LAURA: You don't?

MATT: So how does Caleb respond?

SAM: To who?

LIAM: They're at the end-ish of where they were?

LAURA: They probably would have--

MATT: They are in the process now of I'd say finishing out capturing those who still remain after the Weave Mind was destroyed.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: It's almost like when the Weave Mind was destroyed, much like Sauron to Mordor, all those that were there to defend them are now terrified and without their connected tether of the hive mind. So at this point, you've all been rounding up those who have surrendered and in the process of finishing out taking captives and survivors of the assault on the Arx Creonum.

LIAM: (Caleb) I am pretty spent. I don't know where you are. How could I get to you?

LAURA: (laughs) Fuck. I got a spell left.

SAM: You do?

MATT: Is there anybody else that you can think of nearby that might be able to help?

SAM: Ira?

LAURA: Ira?

MARISHA: Ira.

LAURA: Can he teleport?

LIAM: I mean--

ASHLEY: Do you think Teven?

SAM: He can do all kinds of shit. Teven, my boyfriend? He can't do anything, right?

SAM: He can do so much. He's the greatest.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Take it easy.

SAM: He's so good.

ASHLEY: He's not that great.

SAM: He's hot.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

LAURA: Could Ira get us out?

MARISHA: He can get himself in.

LAURA: What about Planerider Ryn?

SAM: Is she alive?

LAURA: She's on the moon.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

SAM: Is she alive?

MATT: You saw her at the top of Kreviris.

LIAM: We already did--

SAM: Wait, was she alive?

ROBBIE: Her arm was out?

MATT: You freed her from her statue.

SAM: Oh, that's right!

LAURA: We freed her. She's alive.

ASHLEY: She owes us a favor.

MARISHA: We were all disguised.

SAM: She's a planerider. Like you, Chetney.

MARISHA: We were disguised, so she bamfed away.

SAM: Let's go find her. Wait.

LIAM: We did a short rest with the Mighty Nein at one point, right? For Arcane Recovery?

LAURA: We did it--

MATT: I'd say it's probably been time for a short rest after you--

LIAM: But I don't know if we, in there, traversing, I can't remember if we took one or not.

LAURA: We didn't take a short rest--

MATT: No, you did not.

LAURA: -- when they were--

LIAM: Well then I could use Arcane Recovery. Once per day, when you finish a short rest, you can choose expended spell slots to recover up to a combined level of 10, which means I could get-- (sighs) I could teleport to you, but then I could--

LAURA: You wouldn't be able to get away.

LIAM: I could fly some people across this chasm.

LAURA: Sure. I could fly.

LIAM: But that's not-- Yeah.

LAURA: I could fly a couple people.

MARISHA: Because even if we get in touch with Planerider Ryn, she doesn't know where we are either, right?

MATT: None of the slots can be 7th-level or higher-- Can be 6th-level or higher.

LIAM: Got it. Got it, got it, got it.

TRAVIS: She'll know where a fellow planerider is.

ASHLEY: We could just keep running.

SAM: Who else is there? Go look in your notebooks.

MARISHA: Yeah, I mean the only person that would know where we are to get to us--

SAM: I haven't taken any notes.

MARISHA: -- is Ira.

LAURA: Ira or Planerider Ryn. Those are--

MARISHA: But Planerider Ryn doesn't even necessarily know we're here--

LIAM: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Keyleth.

MARISHA: -- to get to us.

LIAM: Because Planerider Ryn was frozen on Exandria.

SAM: But she can plane ride.

MATT: No, Planerider Ryn was frozen on Exandria and then brought to Kreviris.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: No, I understand that, but would not have a knowledge of where Bells Hells are right now.

MATT: People have ways of remote seeing.

SAM and LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Okay, okay.

SAM: She goes to places she doesn't--

LAURA: -- know all the time.

SAM: Yeah, exactly.

LAURA: I think she's an excellent--

ASHLEY: I think--

SAM: That's just what she does.

LAURA: She could teleport us out.

MARISHA: Keyleth as well, too. Because then she could scry and try and get here, I guess.

LIAM: Can people teleport?

MATT: (cracking) The cracking sound gets louder from behind.

SAM: Planerider Ryn is on the planet with us.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's the one.

ASHLEY: She'll be quicker.

LIAM: I think on the planet is the way to go.

LAURA: Okay. I'm going to send a message to Planerider Ryn.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Where are we? We're at the core by the Hallowed Cage?

LIAM: Yeah, we went down garbage chute, Goonie chutes.

ASHLEY: Yeah, we're near the--

LAURA: Yeah, but we're in the Hallowed Cage, right?

LIAM: Yes.

LAURA: That's where we are.

MATT: You are outside of the Hallowed Cage. You are in the bottom of the Prime Pillar near the core of the moon.

LAURA: All right.

SAM: Inspiration.

LAURA: Ryn, we need help. We're at the Hallowed Cage. Everything's falling apart, but we succeeded. Can you get us out?

MATT: There's a brief moment of heavy breath across the way. (Ryn) "My goodness. Really? Well, let me see what I can do." That's all you get back.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: You likely would not resist the Scry spell.

LAURA: No.

MATT: Yeah. Okay. You sense something remotely viewing the space where you're at. I would like someone to roll a d100 for me, please.

SAM: Chetney's good at that.

LIAM: Yep. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Yeah!

TRAVIS: Listen, if there's one thing--

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: -- I'm good for. Hold onto your nipples. 74.

LAURA: That's good.

MATT: 74 is an on target roll.

ASHLEY: Yes!

ROBBIE: Yeah!

MATT: Not but a moment later, there's a (swirling whoosh) a swirl of energy, a plume of red-green flame and dust, and there standing next to you, you see the beautiful image of Planerider Ryn, still looking a bit frazzled, a bit dusty as they appear in.

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: "My, quite a pickle you've all found yourselves in. First off, thank you very much for the assist."

MARISHA: I'm sorry we looked a little spooky earlier.

MATT: You see they've taken their coat they had and wrapped it around the one missing arm, and with the other hand out there, "This looks like it's not holding very well either."

MARISHA: Would love a direct route out of this planet. That'd be great. Off the moon. If we can.

SAM: Lava (love a).

LAURA: Lava (love a).

ASHLEY: Lava (love a).

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: "The only one I know is the Bloody Bridge."

LAURA: Oh, that's--

LIAM: We want to go about halfway back, right?

SAM: Wait, what about--

LAURA: Oh, no--

SAM: -- the secret entrance?

LAURA and MARISHA: The secret entrance.

SAM: Where's that? How do we--

LAURA: We can tell her where to find that.

MARISHA: Oh, I can. Oh boy. I am going to--

LAURA: How many people can you take with you?

MATT: "I can take eight and myself."

ASHLEY: Oh.

LAURA: But my mom.

MARISHA: Put her in the hole.

LAURA: For a split second, maybe.

LIAM: For a minute, yeah. I'll go in. Let your mom be out.

MARISHA: Who's good at holding their breath?

LAURA: Who's got a high constitution?

ROBBIE: I can hold my breath forever.

SAM: Forever?

ROBBIE: Yes.

LAURA: I actually got a really high-- Oh, well then, you're going in the hole.

ROBBIE: Put me in.

LAURA: Put me in, coach.

TALIESIN: I'm going to be useless--

LIAM: Tell me more.

TALIESIN: -- if you put me in the hole. (laughter) (laughter)

MARISHA: I will cast a very high-level Silent Image to try and show Planerider Ryn the secret entrance.

LIAM: Did one of us pick up a pebble or something from that area, too, because that can help as an anchor for teleportation. I thought.

TRAVIS: We did pick up some rocks, but--

LAURA: We did. I picked up--

MARISHA: I-- Go ahead. I have this amulet that I scooped off of a dead elf body from that area.

TRAVIS: Oh, from the buried ruins.

LAURA: Oh, I picked up a rock from the shoreline at the lake.

MARISHA: On the other side.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Does teleportation work from moon--

LAURA: No.

MARISHA: It seems like she can't.

LAURA: Yeah, but you got the amulet from that.

MARISHA: But I have the amulet, so I'm going to pull out this, what was the name of this damn thing?

TRAVIS: The Bloody Bridge is down and is probably the golden lattice work around the moon, right? No, we don't.

LAURA: The lattice work around the moon is probably still--

MATT: The lattice work is associated with the Divine Gate.

LAURA: So, that's still up.

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Well, that's stupid.

MATT: Not Predathos.

LIAM: So, the elevator's gone, but our secret entrance is the--

TRAVIS: Who built it like that? I'm just saying.

MARISHA: Amulet of cursed life. I have this amulet of cursed life that we got from that area, if that's where we're going to go.

LIAM: Since we knew that it was our entry point.

LAURA: Right at the--

MATT: Amulet of cursed life, you got in Aeor, if I recall.

LAURA: Oh, you did get it from Aeor.

MARISHA: Shit.

TALIESIN: My goodberries are all gone.

MARISHA: Shit, that's right.

TALIESIN: Ate them all.

MARISHA: We scooped up goodberries.

LIAM: Anyone else grab a rock from that spot?

MATT: Yeah, did anyone grab anything associated with that region?

LAURA: Let's see, let's see, let's see.

LIAM: Caleb would grab things--

ASHLEY: What's that place called again?

LIAM: -- so he can go back places.

MATT: As you start to construct this image, you see Ryn's looking at it. "Well, it is very amorphous."

MARISHA: I'm trying.

MATT: "Certainly possible, it's just a bit--"

MARISHA: I'm trying. It was Elven ruins, they were sideways and upside down.

MATT: "Right, I've seen many of those. Hmm. We can give it a shot. It is a very good chance we're not quite at where we're trying, but--"

LAURA: I mean, we could just bamf to the outside of the city and go.

SAM: How many days--

MATT: "If you don't mind walking. How far is it from--"

LAURA: Oh, that's right. That's a long walk.

LIAM: It's far. It's far.

MARISHA: In terms of trying to--

LIAM: I almost feel like the Bloody Bridge is closer than the city is.

MARISHA: -- go to the Bloody Bridge? I mean, there's got to be--

LAURA: But the Bloody Bridge is probably down.

MATT: The Bloody Bridge is further from where you guys-- You guys discovered this area on the way to Kreviris from the Bloody Bridge.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: So the secret entrance is actually closer to Kreviris. Yeah.

LAURA: Closer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SAM: When we came through the secret entrance, did we see a city or a tower right after we left?

MATT: No, it was a few hours of travel, if I recall--

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: -- to the outside of Kreviris.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: And that was the first sight we came to.

ROBBIE: Wasn't there a-- There was a shop in the-- No.

LAURA: Not in that--

SAM: That was here in the city.

LAURA: Yeah, I took stones from the lake.

ROBBIE: That was here in the city. Oh, okay.

LAURA: Not from the--

SAM: Well, we're stuck here.

LIAM: Well, we can wing it.

LAURA: No, I mean, we can show-- We can describe it.

MATT: "So I can take a risky attempt at bringing us there and maybe showing up somewhere like it, or we could go to the outside of the city and book it the rest of the way. How are we feeling? You tell me."

LIAM: Well, I mean, we know we can safely get outside the city, right?

LAURA: Yeah, maybe we do that.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: It's just a couple hours of travel.

LIAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Sure.

MATT: "Let's go."

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: (nervous moan)

ROBBIE: A couple hours?

LAURA: I don't know what else to do.

ROBBIE: We got Predathos rumbling in your tummy?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: I mean, hours, days? What's the difference?

LIAM: Okay, so someone's jumping in our portable hole for a minute?

LAURA: A minute.

TALIESIN: I'll do it.

SAM: I can stay behind.

ROBBIE: No!

SAM: It's all right.

ROBBIE: Stay behind?

LIAM: We have a workaround though, Braius.

SAM: Yeah, but I don't want Dorian to have to go in that hole--

LAURA: It's for a minute!

SAM: -- with disgusting dead bodies.

TRAVIS: Open the hole!

TALIESIN: I'm getting in.

ROBBIE: I can hold my breath forever.

TALIESIN: It doesn't matter. No, I'm getting in there. I'm slow.

MATT: (crashing) A splintering, massive piece of--

LAURA: Go! Just get in the fucking hole!

TALIESIN: I am slow. Let me get in the hole.

MATT: -- glass and stone hits. I need everyone--

ROBBIE: Sure.

MATT: -- to make a dexterity saving throw.

ROBBIE: Uh-oh. We waited too long.

LAURA: Yes, we did.

SAM: Ooh.

TALIESIN: We healed.

ROBBIE: Wait, I have advantage.

TRAVIS: 26.

MATT: 26?

ROBBIE: I have Foresight.

MATT: You take six points of bludgeoning damage.

ROBBIE: I finally remembered.

LAURA: Do you still, after you died?

MARISHA: Seven.

LAURA: You went unconscious?

MATT: Laudna?

ROBBIE: It's eight hours.

MATT: Take 12 points of bludgeoning damage.

TRAVIS: I'm still a wolf, so that's three.

LAURA: That's awesome.

MATT: Dorian?

ROBBIE: 16. Was it dex?

MATT: Dex.

ROBBIE: 26.

MATT: 26. You take six points of bludgeoning damage.

SAM: 18.

MATT: You take six points of bludgeoning damage.

ASHLEY: 11.

MATT: You take 12 points of bludgeoning damage.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: Imogen?

LAURA: 20.

MATT: You take six points of bludgeoning damage.

TALIESIN: 16.

LIAM: 21.

MATT: Both of you guys take six points of bludgeoning damage.

TALIESIN: All right.

SAM: Ow.

MATT: The platform you're on cracks a bit. There's just enough smooth glass that you can try and lay the hole down to put somebody in it.

LAURA: Oh god, hurry!

MATT: Whoever's going to do that and try and find the flattest surface to do so against the glass platform, that's your best bet, whoever's going to try that, make an investigation check to see if you can find an area to put it down.

LAURA: Who's a good investigator?

LIAM: Not me.

LAURA: I'll just do it.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: Not me.

SAM: You have inspiration.

LAURA: I do?

SAM: I gave you inspiration.

LAURA: How much is that?

SAM: Six.

LAURA: (blows raspberry) Five. It's not going to be enough, eight. Well, 15?

MATT: 15's enough.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: 15's enough, it wasn't terribly challenging, but there was a chance that there wasn't a surface here that you could even lay it down on, and then you've got to get real creative. You find one area where you're pressing and ironing it out, find one little lip and you tug in one direction, and suddenly the hole apparates there in the middle of the glass.

LAURA: In, in, in! Whoever can hold their breath! Go, go! You can hold your breath indefinitely, go!

ROBBIE: Oh, fine! (humming cheerily) Boink!

LAURA: Pick up the hole.

MATT: You jump inside, and your feet hit something soft.

LAURA: Ew, I'm sorry. It's going to be so foul in there.

MATT: Just as the hole closes up, the smell of rot overtakes your senses.

ASHLEY: Ew!

ROBBIE: I smell nothing.

MARISHA: I have an elven doll.

LAURA: Because he's holding his breath.

MATT: That's true.

ROBBIE: I don't smell a thing.

MATT: A little bit still gets up in your nostrils. You get a little bit of it, even though you try not to. It catches the palate.

MARISHA: Before we go, I scooped up an ancient elven doll.

LIAM: Porcelain.

MARISHA: Porcelain elven doll.

LAURA: Oh, you did!

MATT: You did.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: You hand that to Ryn?

MARISHA: If that's the route we're going.

MATT: "Oh, delightfully creepy."

MARISHA: Yes! I love her.

MATT: "But hopefully it'll work. All right."

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: I also still have some goodberries.

MATT: Takes it and drapes it over the shoulder of the missing arm and begins to pull you all closely right as the platform-- (crumbling)

LAURA: (whimpering)

MATT: You feel the glass beginning to splinter, and you look down. It's like looking on a heavy glass, a thick glass platform you're on, and you're watching cracks slowly spread through it.

MARISHA: Quickly, quickly, quickly!

LIAM: I'm going to scoop up a tiny little fragment of that glass and just take it.

MATT: Okay. "All right, hold on!" Poof! Puts the hand out, as it does, all of a sudden, this spiral of runes apparates in the air and wraps all of you. All of you are pulled in, a massive tether tugs tightly and pulls you in and then apparates again, and you're now standing in the middle by the side of the river that is pouring through the underground Elven ruins of the ancient city that was drawn to Ruidus.

TRAVIS: Creepy doll for the win.

MATT: As an associated object, you don't even have to roll.

SAM: Yay!

LAURA: Yay.

SAM: We're the best.

TRAVIS: In the water, we should go. We should go.

MARISHA: Yes, let's go.

LIAM: Let Dorian out!

MARISHA: Yeah, we let Dorian out.

ROBBIE: (gasps) I'm just kidding.

MARISHA: Also, didn't we make little markings?

LAURA: We did.

MARISHA: To annotate? So we look for our markings, to go there.

MATT: Doesn't take you too long. But the other thing that catches your attention is the heavy sound of foot movement and armor, and as you approach the portion where the portal releases into this, you can see there is now, stationed and amassed, a massive army.

MARISHA: Ashari?

LIAM: Of ours.

MATT: Huh?

MARISHA: Of ours? Ashari?

MATT: Not Ashari. Of all manner of holy warriors and soldiers, as it looks like the remaining forces of Vasselheim have now begun to march through this opening onto Ruidus. The whole hallway is filled as people are pouring through and regiments are moving through. What do you do?

TRAVIS: Turn around! Turn around, Predathos has been defeated!

LIAM: The situation has changed.

TRAVIS: We have to get out of here immediately!

MATT: As you say these noises, the people turn and look, and people start whispering and calling, and someone shouts over, "Dusk General! Dusk General!" You watch as a male elf pushes through, heavily armored and decorated. You can see a massive holy symbol of the Moonweaver hanging from around their neck, and a heavy, dark blue cloak that falls behind their black hair with streaks of white that push back, and some sort of a tattooed marking that is mirrored on each side of their face. One eye shines gold. Steps forward. You can see two angelic, winged beings flutter above as they hear this, and they both have their hands on their weapons at the side. "I am General Okirai. You are Bells Hells."

TRAVIS: Yes, that's correct.

LIAM: We are.

MATT: "Do I assume that your presence here means success?"

LAURA: It does.

MATT: Looks back towards one of the angels. The angel hovers forward a little bit.

MARISHA: Oh no.

MATT: "She carries the God-eater."

SAM: Uh-oh.

MATT: The whole army shifts in place. Weapons are drawn and at the ready. You watch as another entity, heavily armored, this female goliath with massive claw scars down her chin, you see these darkened, almost dull gray, stone-like eyes with burning coal pupils in the center. She has this heavy, thick, fur hide armor over a massive metal breastplate. You see the symbol on the chest, that of a single bleeding eye. You see her step forward with this nasty-looking hooked flail at her side. "Then I guess it means they got to die, too." General Okirai says, "Wait, Vusono. We don't know." This individual in front of Vusono goes, "Now, let them be smited! Come down, great one, and devour those who would devour you!" You watch as the gray eyes burn bright red like massive burning coals. The whole room seems to quake as red light fills the chamber. The stone above seems to crack and open as smoke pours forth and you see a single burning red eye begin to fold out from the top of the tunnel above you as a symbol of the Ruiner peers forth, its muscular black skin reaching down above you, this Divine Intervention called down to end this moment, and as the Ruiner peeks down upon Imogen--

MARISHA: Yeah, baby.

MATT: -- it withdraws. "(growls)" The stone crumbles, and you watch as Vusono looks confused, eyes wide, the light fade. Okirai says, "I cannot touch her, and to kill her is to set it free. What do you want?"

TALIESIN: An apology, to begin with. That was so fucking rude.

LIAM: Ludinus Da'leth has fallen.

MATT: Whispers begin to scatter about.

LIAM: And you're right, our friend is the only thing keeping it in check. We have things to discuss.

MATT: The goliath steps forward a bit, still shaken, but trying to put on a brave face. "Discuss with who?"

MARISHA: Certainly not you. Why don't you step aside?

TALIESIN: We'd like to talk to the manager. (laughter)

MATT: Okirai looks to the angels, and the angels, who their blades are out, have witnessed this moment. "We would call for them to be imprisoned, but I do not think even our binds would hold."

LAURA: I think we need to get to Vasselheim.

SAM: I agree.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: All the angelic figures look at each other. They look down at the general. The general looks absolutely pale in the face.

TRAVIS: Don't worry, we'll let you accompany us. That's a better deal than you're going to get otherwise.

LIAM: We believe many of your masters are already expecting us.

MATT: Okay, I would like those of you who wish to make a persuasion check, do so. Those of you who wish to make an intimidation check instead, you may do that.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Can I throw--

MATT: This is a group--

MARISHA: -- Unsettling Presence for my intimidation check?

MATT: Sure.

SAM: Unsettling Presence.

MATT: I'll allow that on the general.

TALIESIN: Disadvantage. This will be fun.

MARISHA: I think Unsettling Presence, hang on, I think it gives--

MATT: Starting over here with you, Chetney.

TRAVIS: 12.

SAM: Oof.

MATT: 12, all right.

MARISHA: Are immune to this feature.

MATT: Laudna?

MARISHA: He has disadvantage on his next throw.

MATT: Okay, so in this case, it wouldn't necessarily help the check, but keep that in mind.

MARISHA: 22.

MATT: 22?

MARISHA: 22 intimidation.

MATT: Okay, great.

ROBBIE: Nat 20.

LIAM: Yes!

ROBBIE: Yeah, they're totally different dice.

TRAVIS: The most casual nat--

MATT: I love it.

ROBBIE: It's crazy.

LAURA: He looked disappointed by it.

ROBBIE: It's great, it's just I'm stunned.

MATT: That's beautiful.

ROBBIE: I want to focus on Vusono.

TRAVIS: Nat 20.

ROBBIE: I want to focus my persuasion--

MATT: Okirai, you mean?

ROBBIE: No, Vusono.

MATT: Oh, I see, I see.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

ROBBIE: I'm just kind of--

MARISHA: Is that the name of the barbarian?

MATT: Vusono, yeah.

ROBBIE: Surely you want to let us go. I'll rub her hand a little bit, and I'll smile and wink at her.

MATT: Pulls the hand back, "(growls)" and almost seems to bite her teeth in reaction.

LAURA: But she's going to dream about you.

MATT: There is a glimmer of being turned on in there, too. (laughter)

TRAVIS: A little blush.

SAM: 22.

MATT: 22, all righty. Fearne?

ASHLEY: 28.

LIAM: Woo!

MATT: All right.

LAURA: 35. (cheering)

LIAM: I got a 17 persuasion.

TALIESIN: 13 intimidation.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Damn.

SAM: You're pretty weak right now.

TALIESIN: Oh, I have disadvantage on all of this, so.

LAURA: Aw, Ashton.

MATT: You watch as the angels look at each other. Their eyes suddenly go golden and they seem to be whispering under their breath while their eyes peer off past the rock and beyond. "(murmuring)"

LAURA: (groans)

MATT: At once, their eyes return to their normal pale white coloration.

MATT: "You may continue. We will escort you."

LAURA: Thanks.

MATT: You look down at the general, and the general goes, "We will take you to the walls, but we cannot take you into Vasselheim. That is for the Dawn Marshall to decide."

MARISHA: All right, come on, chop chop. Let's go.

MATT: There is an air of fear and paralysis throughout this entire battalion of scattered sources and forces, and as you step forward, they all give a wide berth, the soldiers all looking upon you, and specifically at you, and you notice, Imogen, as you walk, both you and Fearne, that Ruidusborn energy is not just a tether, but it is that drifting, emanating power. That red energy is like a force of red heat that drips off you and vanishes in the air. You both are together in proximity and tethered. More or less, while you are the vessel, you together are the ones bearing the God-eater beyond its boundary into Exandria and about to walk it to the gate of Vasselheim. As you step through, you see the soldiers of various faith callings, holy symbols of all sorts and types set aside to inner portions of this militaristic regiment. You see well-adorned holy warriors. You see makeshift mercenaries. You see armored devils and angels awkwardly forced to step shoulder to shoulder to make room as you walk through, until you all emerge from the still separated Lake Umamu and set forth onto Exandria, bearing Predathos, the Red End, for the first time in millennia, and the moment you cross that threshold, a chill takes the atmosphere and you watch as a number of the holy warriors around clutch their holy symbols. A number of them, almost in unison, look to you two and say, "They know it's here." You step outside of the lake, your boots sloshing against the now still exposed sediment until you come to the edge where the Ashari are waiting, though themselves put to the side, more or less overrun by the forces of Vasselheim.

LIAM: As we're walking down to the water, Orym will look up to Planerider Ryn. Planerider, would you come with us? I'd have your company just a little bit longer.

MATT: "Oh, I think it's best I can explain what I've seen here, as well. It's been a very interesting day indeed. Yes, I think I will come along. I mean, not everyone gets to (chuckles) witness whatever you're planning to do. (chuckles)"

LIAM: Stay close.

MATT: As you all step to the edge, while your sisters are not present, other Ashari remain, and within a brief conversation, the soldiers escort you and are given orders from the holy warriors to maintain a tree tunnel to the outside walls. There, you are met with the midday brightness and snowfall of the early morning in Vasselheim, as it seems that through moments of time and shift of movement, hours have passed the dawn light just cresting over the mountain range as the chill hits your shoulders. There, atop the exterior wall, looking down upon you, hundreds of crossbows and ballista, pointed directly. And that's where we're going to pick up next episode. (exhaling)

TRAVIS: The Red End field mouse.

MATT: (chuckles)

TRAVIS: Oh man, oh boy.

SAM: Wow.

TRAVIS: With a hell of a bargaining chip.

MARISHA: Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

TRAVIS: The Ruiner took a peek and was like, "I'm good!"

SAM: "Nah."

ASHLEY: I'm okay.

ROBBIE: Wow.

TRAVIS: "I'm good."

MARISHA: That cleric was like, "I finally got Divine Intervention to pop off, and my god went 'Nah!'"

LIAM: "What the hell? Rules as written!"

MARISHA: "What the fuck? Yeah, rules as written! You have to be here, do something!"

MATT: Oh man, we shall return with our next episode to see how the arrival of the vessel of the God-eater within the Dawn Cradle itself, and what this means for likely future conversation with the gods themselves. So we'll see you next time. Thank you all very much for joining us. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Good night.

Cooldown

TRAVIS: They're gorgeous!

MARISHA: Thank you, Abubakar!

MATT: That was fucking clutch!

TRAVIS: Holy shit. I was not clocking that ring at all.

LIAM: That was rough.

SAM: I forgot about it entirely.

MATT: That was Abubakar's design. He gave me the concept for it. I did a couple of balance tweaks to it. I totally forgot about it. That was fucking awesome.

TRAVIS: 263 points of damage?

LAURA: That was insane.

LIAM: Casters were on point. Temult was a monster. A total monster.

MARISHA: You did so much damage.

MATT: All y'all were on point.

LAURA: Everybody.

SAM: Everybody was.

MATT: Everyone did such fucking crazy damage.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we were flowing.

MATT: Everyone was running around delivering potions, getting people out of mouths.

LAURA: Giving support. The fact that nobody died--

TALIESIN: I've been wanting to see a situation where it did that thing for fucking ever.

LAURA: --with as much as everybody was going down? That's shocking.

MARISHA: We got close to it.

LIAM: Yes, we did.

LAURA: That was I feel like one turn away from total TPK, because we'd hit him when everybody was low--

MATT: It was real bad. When we were at break, you guys saw my nervous energy. I was like--

SAM: Well, he also-- he didn't get his breath weapons back for the last round or something.

LAURA: If he had, we would have--

MATT: The last round. He had good luck getting it back a lot, which is why I was--

SAM: No, but if he had had it on the last round he could have smoked the whole field.

TALIESIN: I had maybe one or two more-- I can hit zero and pop back ups, but...

SAM: You have multiples of those?

LAURA: Wow, that's amazing.

TALIESIN: The difficulty increases by five every time I do it.

SAM: Oh, okay.

TALIESIN: I was ready to just hold.

LIAM: It was like dominoes, it was pulling Imogen out of the mouth--

MARISHA: We would have been fucked.

ASHLEY: That was so cool.

LIAM: --getting Dorian on his feet--

MATT: Clutchest fucking Mass Healing Word.

LIAM: --raising Imogen up to one hit point so she could deliver the hit.

ASHLEY: That was huge.

LAURA: But you raised me up to 29. I wouldn't have been able to do that move with that many hit points if you hadn't hit me.

MATT: Oh shit! Right!

LAURA: If you hadn't hit me I wouldn't have been able to do it.

LIAM: Right. You had to be that low.

LAURA: I had to be that low.

MATT: If Predathos was more intelligent-- That was the concept used. If Predathos was like Ludinus, Ludinus is like, "You're down, I keep going until you're dead. Next one." Because Predathos in this form is more monstrous and more bestial, it's more about taking out the active threats, just like any creature would in the middle of battle, until everything is down, and then eat. That sort of vibe.

SAM: Ludinus is still out there somewhere, right?

LAURA: I think so.

ROBBIE: Could be.

LAURA: He probably had a clone.

ROBBIE: Hard to say.

TALIESIN: I hate clones.

MARISHA: The only thing I really had left was my 8-level spell, and I was about to do it.

SAM: What was it? What were you going to do?

MARISHA: Fire Storm.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: You had an 8th-level left?

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: What the fuck?

LAURA: That's shocking.

MARISHA: Because-- There's several reasons. I kept trying to set it up, but Fire Storm works best if it's multiple targets. And every time it kept coming back around to my turn--

LAURA: You had no hands.

MARISHA: I had no hands. So it was better for me to do--

ASHLEY: To wait until--

MARISHA: --targeted, single damage.

MATT: That's valid. It worked out pretty dang well.

LAURA: That's why I busted out one of my crazy high levels right from the beginning. I did my 9th and my 8th in the first two rounds, because I was like, "I don't know what it's going to turn into, so I'm just going to use it."

MARISHA: I kept waiting, because Fire Storm is good, it's 7d10 damage--

LAURA: That's huge, yeah.

MARISHA: --but to multiple targets. Whereas if I do two Eldritch Blasts, that's 8d10 plus five.

LAURA: It's better to do that. Which is crazy.

MARISHA: Which is crazy.

LIAM: Because you can stay flexible to shit going upside down because you're using it. You're getting that for free.

MARISHA: Yeah, exactly.

LAURA: That's amazing.

MARISHA: Then I kept holding the fucking Disintegrate, I kept trying to figure it out, because I knew you had--

LAURA: Until he was out of legendary resistances.

MARISHA: Which is why me and him talked on the side, because I was like, if we can split the spell--

TALIESIN: Yep.

MARISHA: --then he won't be able to save against one of them.

ASHLEY: That was so stressful.

SAM: That was a great move.

MATT: That worked out really well.

SAM: There was a couple of high-risk moves.

MATT: Yeah, there were two--

TALIESIN: If it had gone wrong that would have been real bad.

ASHLEY: Two high-rish moves.

MATT: Yeah, honestly, two rolls, that would have Ash instantly dust--

LIAM: Ashton dusted.

MATT: --and you absolutely--

LAURA: Instantly blown to smithereens. Because it would have insta-killed me.

LIAM: Yeah, that was two--

MATT: That would have been bad.

LIAM: --two roulette rounds.

MATT: Dang. I love that shit, though.

ROBBIE: That was such a fun setup, though, because the hands could pop up anywhere, the head could teleport...

LAURA: They had such range.

ROBBIE: It was so good, Matt. That was so fun.

MATT: I wanted it to feel like you were like in the belly of the beast.

LIAM: It did!

MATT: Just full on--

LAURA: It definitely felt like that.

ASHLEY: Can I see how the magnets work?

LAURA: It felt like all sides. You were never safe no matter where you were.

SAM: Are there magnets all over the place?

TRAVIS: It felt very scary.

MATT: For some of the larger hands there. There was a magnet there, there's a magnet there, there's a magnet there.

LAURA: Oh, this.

MATT: There's a magnet here...

TRAVIS: That's great presentation.

MATT: Not all of them need it.

TRAVIS: Smart. Because you can cover it, the melee reach.

MATT: Yeah, that was part of the conversation when we were first designing the stage, is how to make some of the-- especially when we got the sketches back from Tyler, which looked so awesome. I was like, these are also going to be a little wobbly unless we can-- We were talking about maybe having pins in them and we could stick them into the ground in parts of foam, but that would damage the space. Then we went to see if magnets would work, and then Nox ended up dropping a bunch of them in and you can't even tell. I had to test it and mark where they were, and it looks awesome. He did such a phenomenal-- him and his team did such a great job on this.

LIAM: Yeah, this needs to live forever in some...

LAURA: Yeah, and then we need to recreate it with cake.

ASHLEY: Being able to take a piece off and eat it.

MATT: And Jesse Jerdak did such a great job once again with modeling all the forms of Predathos, as well as the concept for this battlefield as well. Ah, I'm so happy with how it turned out.

LAURA: I still feel like (gags) from the fight though.

MARISHA: Pukey?

ASHLEY: I do, too, my stomach is--

ROBBIE: Physically exhausted.

LAURA: Adrenaline is just--

MARISHA: Got that pit.

LIAM: We were edging before intermission. We were on the edge.

LAURA: Yeah, if anybody could have seen us sitting out there while we were on break. Everybody was just like--

LIAM: Thousand yard stares.

TRAVIS: I'm ready for bed.

SAM and ROBBIE: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Yes please.

SAM: For sure.

MATT: It's going to be a very light, no pressure game next time. It's cool.

LAURA: Yeah, no pressure.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Yeah. For sure. Just all the angels and demons and gods.

MARISHA: Just fucking staring you down.

TRAVIS: The Ashari are like, "Hey?"

MARISHA: (laughs) Yeah, I know, pretty much.

LAURA: We don't know. We won't know.

LIAM: We might get pulled up into some giant divine boardroom.

SAM: Like a speed dating session?

LAURA: Oh my god, what if it's just a big boardroom?

TRAVIS: Seeing the angels--

LAURA: And they're all like--

ASHLEY: "Hello there."

TRAVIS: --their eyes glowing gold.

MARISHA: What if it's like "Love is Blind"?

TRAVIS: Domine et tutemet--

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: I love it.

MATT: Angels are creepy, man.

TALIESIN: They are.

MATT: Like, all things on that level of divinity, it's very much like biblically accurate angels, sort of. Not quite that hard, but-- I love things that are beautiful and also at times--

MATT and ASHLEY: Terrifying.

MARISHA: "Event Horizon", yeah.

TRAVIS: "Libera te tutement ex inferis."

MATT and ASHLEY: (laugh)

SAM: Do you have, Laura, are those potions that you used, or are you just hoarding them?

ASHLEY: I think those are all--

LAURA: Those aren't mine. Those aren't mine, they just got put in front of me.

MARISHA: We started all pulling them out.

ROBBIE: Yeah, we gave up on--

LAURA: I think they got put in front of me when the map came out and moved. They're not mine. I only had the supreme one, and I gave that to my mom.

TALIESIN: I have one last potion.

MARISHA: It felt like every move was clutch.

SAM: It was really good.

MARISHA: Every turn was clutch, and the butterfly effect...

TRAVIS: Plus, you were tracking--

LAURA: And think, getting the Transmute spell and being able to turn things into thunder damage?

ROBBIE: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Why thunder? Just because of the crystalline structure?

LAURA: Because it's stone?

LIAM: The vibrations.

TALIESIN: Sound waves.

TRAVIS: Effective against the crystals?

MATT: Yeah, because a lot of its form was drawn from the glass around and built off it into that space, it meant that the interior of it was particularly fragile to that immediate vibration.

LAURA: Which we never would have realized if you hadn't done that Shatter right from the beginning.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Because thunder's not a spell--

MATT: Not a lot of spells do thunder. Which in my head I was like-- There aren't a lot of spells with thunder, so... they have a few at their disposal. But I didn't figure for your metamagic, and that became clutch.

LIAM: It was like a cheat code.

SAM: Yeah. Did you just get that ability with the level up?

LAURA: With the boon.

SAM and ASHLEY: Whoo!

LAURA: Yeah, because it was never part of my metamagic pool, but I got an extra one--

MATT: It's a higher level one.

LAURA: --with the level 17.

SAM: So we did choose correctly.

LIAM: When is it going to go away? When are we going to lose our levels?

LAURA: I know. I don't ever want to lose it.

TALIESIN: Long rest.

LIAM: Nobody go to sleep.

MARISHA: It was actually the way to go.

SAM: The spell slots was so great. I mean--

ROBBIE: Yes.

MARISHA: I think it was clutch.

ASHLEY and SAM: Yeah.

ASHLEY: We needed those extra.

SAM: I had one spell left, and I was saving Revivify in case somebody died. But without it, we wouldn't have had that as an option. You chose perfectly.

LAURA: Yeah, you did.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

SAM: ♪ Believe in yourself ♪

MARISHA: Especially when it comes to healing spells. Even if not everybody has healing, or has spell slots, everyone needs healing spells.

LAURA and ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Were you going to say Robbie sucked?

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: I was going to say, you were so stupid, is what I was going to say.

ROBBIE: Sorry! So sorry.

LAURA: No, you were so great.

ROBBIE: This guy (Sam) agrees with you.

LAURA: Getting everybody up--

ASHLEY: That was--

LAURA: The Lay on Hands--

ASHLEY: That move was clutch.

LAURA: The passing out spells and doing support spells. Everybody was doing moves to help the party.

MATT: Initiative sets a particular order, too, where you kind of have to figure out how best to finagle the order of operations--

LAURA: Those healings.

MATT: --that you have at your disposal. All of you guys adapted very well to ever-changing circumstances here.

TALIESIN: There's so many things where initiative just fucked up things that could have been-- There were things like, "We could do that if the initiative was different." But it's not, and so we're just at the mercy of it.

MARISHA: Because I was like, "Do I burn a spell to try and get her up to a few hit points? And it worked out great that we didn't, because instead the Disintegrate burned his last legendary resistance.

SAM: That's always the thing with these high level fights. It's like healing becomes pointless until someone's dead.

ALL: (general agreement)

LAURA: Unless you can heal past the hit.

LIAM: Yeah, it's got to be a big one, or--

LAURA: Yeah, like Mass Heal, where you can heal 700 hit points. Phenomenal.

ROBBIE: But back to... it was the right path. I wanted to do that way earlier. There was just never an opportunity. But if I had--

TALIESIN: We would have been completely fucked.

ROBBIE: Yeah, cooked in that moment.

ASHLEY: Yeah, but there is a point where you're doing 25 points of healing, and you're like, "Well, that's going to..."

LAURA: That's nothing.

TALIESIN: That's half a hit.

LAURA: Wait till you're down. To wait to do that until everybody was down was the most effective use of it.

MATT: It really was.

SAM: You are the greatest.

ASHLEY: You're the greatest.

LAURA: And with all your 20s, too.

SAM: I mean, look at you. (indicates his shirt)

ROBBIE: That was weird.

SAM: You're a lawyer.

ROBBIE: That was weird.

LIAM: Also, all your 20s.

LAURA: God!

MATT: I rolled ridiculously!

ASHLEY: So many 20s!

LAURA: 19, 18, 20, 18--

ASHLEY: I wonder how many 20s were in that game. We rolled a lot.

MATT: Because it was 18-- The Ruinous Claw of it, it doesn't do as much damage as his other attacks for the most part, but it has an 18 to 20 crit range, and I kept fucking rolling 18s, to a crazy amount. I kept showing them. I'm like, "I'm not being crazy."

TALIESIN: 18, 19, 20, 18.

MATT: It was crazy.

TALIESIN: Yeah, it was.

MATT: I also rolled not that great, but he has a very large bonus, too. So it's just-- he's a final boss. He's supposed to be scary. And it was pretty scary!

SAM: He was very scary.

MATT: I was scared!

TRAVIS: We were disappointed, though, because not all the appendages made it up through the floor.

ASHLEY: I was ready.

MATT: Do over?

LAURA: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: (groans)

ASHLEY: I get it, just don't touch it!

SAM: Just do an elbow.

TRAVIS: Pickle Rick!

ASHLEY: It'll grow! It's hard to manage.

TALIESIN: They say one in five god-eaters actually has this problem.

ALL: (groans) (cheering)

LIAM: I don't know what you're talking about. There's dicks all over this map.

ASHLEY and LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: This map is just dildos.

TRAVIS: Good job, y'all.

MATT: All right, let's see how the next one goes. Love you guys.