List of Transcripts

Pre-Show

MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors play Dungeons and Dragons. I think this is our 24th episode, which is ridiculous. We've been doing this since March, and it gets more and more ridiculous every week. Glad you guys can join us. The new guys, welcome to our chaos. For all the old folks, glad you could come and join us again. Quick thing I want to mention: last week we were talking about the changes to Critmas, because we had stresses on scheduling and we had crew here, and when things go long, we were talking about possibly moving to Periscope on a different day, separate medium. Well, the fanbase has spoken very loudly and very intently about their reaction to that, and so what we're doing, to still make it so people aren't kept here for ridiculous hours weekly, we're still going to have Critmas on the stream, but it's going to be once a month. It's probably going to be the first Thursday of every month, and we're going to make it an extensive day for that month where we open everything that evening. We still get to experience and share that with you guys, but also not keep these guys here way too late unpaid every Thursday night. So I think that's the plan we're going with forward. Hopefully, that's cool with everyone, because we love it, too, and we want to make sure we still share that with you guys. All right, couple of other announcements. First and foremost, I wanted to mention again-- we mentioned it last week, as well-- there's that Hasbro game design contest, design the next party game. That's still up until end of this month, I believe. So if you want to check it out, you can go ahead and tweet at me, last week's episode or search for the Hasbro game design contest. That's still happening. Also, there's a film series that I'm a part of called Mythica. It's like a high fantasy film series where I play the main villain, the necromancer Zorloc. It's fun times. It's like awesome, fun, fantasy genre film. And they're currently putting up a Kickstarter to finish the post on the third film, so you should check that out. Search Mythica on Kickstarter and you should find it there. Also, WeLoveFine is still running their DND t-shirt contest for their Rage of Demons release for Wizards of the Coast, where you can submit your own t-shirt designs that fit within the Rage of Demons theme. I am one of the judges on that, so if you submit your art to this, there is a cash prize. All the rules are up there on the WeLoveFine contest site. And I'll be able to judge your artwork and hopefully put you through to the end. So there's that. Trying to get through these as fast as possible. Our TeeSpring shirt for Is It Thursday Yet? is still up. It has one more week. So if any of you guys want to get the limited edition Critical Role Is It Thursday Yet? shirt, that is only available for one more week and then it'll be gone forever, so get it while you can. Let's see. I'm doing my best to get through this as fast as possible. No worries. Not everything. Also, Ashley's show Blindspot is premiering this coming Monday.

(cheering)

MATT: Which is so exciting. You can check out Ashley on Blindspot where she'll maybe be sneaking Critical Role stuff into the show, hopefully. We're trying to push her to do that. So you should go support her. See it. It's awesome. And all of us lament that's the reason she's away from us. Someone want to handle our other cool--

LAURA: But it's not on us yet. Oh look, now you can see us.

LIAM: Why don't I go, and then you can go. Hey, you guys. I just want to make sure all of you are aware-- this is going to be so awkward-- I want to make sure you're all aware of a Kickstarter that's out there that is put up by a good friend of mine named Joe Madureira. Now if you don't know who Joe is, he is a comic book rock god and a game developer. When I was a teenager, he made a comic book called Battle Chasers. Look, here's mine. From when I was 16, Joe. I fell in love with it. Nobody does art like Joe Mad does, and I've followed his art for years and years. Even when I fell out of comic books, I was checking in with Hellboy and I was checking in with Joe Mad. And then, years later, I got cast in a game called Darksiders as one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I played War, and I walked into the room and Joe Mad was in the fucking room, and then we became friends. So that game was amazing. Darksiders is a beautiful game. It just reeked of Joe's art style and now he has formed another company called Airship Syndicate and they have a Kickstarter up. They are making a game called Battle Chasers. Oh shoot! I didn't put the thing that comes-- oh, Nightwar! Battle Chasers: Nightwar. They've already hit their goal, but there are stretch goals. They are making an RPG, sort of in the ilk of JRPGs, like Final Fantasy and Chrono Trigger. And it's just going to be bathed in the glory of Joe Mad's amazing art style. So they've hit their goal, but the bigger the budget, the better the game is going to be. I backed it already. And you guys should at least go check it out. A lot of love for Joe Mad.

ORION: Yeah, me too. I'm on the same end. I knew Joe Mad through meeting Liam for a while, and later realizing that this guy I knew as an amazing voice director and an amazing producer has inked some of my favorite issues of Excalibur, and I crapped my pants. I have four of yours, Joe, in my box right now at home. He's an amazing guy and awesome thing to back. Check it out, please.

LIAM: And one, the main character from Battle Chasers kind of looks like Pike!

LAURA: She does! I thought that, too.

MATT: That's sweet. Wunderbar!

TALIESIN: I got something. Next weekend, September 26 and 27, I'm going to be at a con! In Anchorage, Alaska.

ORION: That means "convention".

TALIESIN: That means moose. I'm so excited. Senshi Con in Anchorage. I'll be there. I know we at least have, like, three fans at the very least in Alaska. Come on by. I'd love to see you. It'll be awesome.

MATT: Fantastic. Speaking of conventions, guys.

MARISHA: Oh man, drop it like it's hot.

MATT: For those of you upper East Coast folks, we've recently been able to announce that we will be at and running some events at New York Comic Con in October. All of us, the entire Critical Role team will be at Comic Con. We're going to have signing, panel and all kinds of fun stuff throughout the weekend. And we'll be there. And if you're in the area, or if it's drivable, or even if it's not, you should come anyway, cause we'd like to see you. If it's trainable, if it's flyable.

TRAVIS: If you steal a horse, steal a horse and ride it.

LAURA: If you want to ride a bear there, I wouldn't judge you.

MARISHA: And what weekend is New York Comic Con?

LIAM: Eight, nine, ten, 11.

MARISHA: October 8th, 9th, 10th and 11th. So you've got three weeks to prepare.

MATT: Yeah, so excited to be there. Excited to see you there. And it'll be a lot of fun. A lot of fun.

LIAM: Primarily doing stuff Saturday that we know. We're waiting to see what's going on Sunday weekend.

LAURA: Saturday is for sure.

TALIESIN: With more of us than are even here.

TRAVIS: Bring your swag. Bring your friends.

MARISHA: Not even all of us were at San Diego. Well, we were all there, just not all at one point at one time.

TRAVIS: Because we were missing Sam.

MATT: The first full Critical Role con appearance. Boom.

TRAVIS: The unicorn appears.

ORION: I'm going to get a hot dog.

MATT: Orion's going to get a hot dog. Awesome. Any other announcements? Or did you have something, you said?

LAURA: No, I was just so excited about New York Comic Con, I wanted to be a part of that announcement.

ORION: I would like to announce that I feel pretty good.

TALIESIN: I'm terrified, personally, but--

ORION: I know, but maybe that's why I feel so good.

TALIESIN: You were right. It is awful.

ORION: I'll get shunned for it happening, then I'm like, oh, cool. I don't have to worry about me right now.

MARISHA: So much pressure.

LAURA: Should we say that we have Kit here?

TALIESIN: No, we shouldn't tell them that we have Kit here. Let's hold that back.

MATT: Kit Buss is not here.

MARISHA: We also have both of our artists here.

LAURA: Kit and Wendy.

MATT: Kit and Wendy.

MARISHA: Kit and Wendy. Come here! But come here!

RYAN: There's a 30-second lag.

MATT: We'll eventually have them say hello to everyone, but Kit Buss, our official CritRole artist who did all the original character designs, continues to produce amazing art for this show, is here visiting Los Angeles for the next week. So she's here on the set and we'll drag her out in front of the camera and embarrass her shortly.

TALIESIN: I've been curious precisely how long the lag is, because--

LAURA: It's about 30 seconds.

MARISHA: We learned when we killed the carpet.

LAURA: Yeah. (muffled yelling)

MARISHA: Just time that. Time that.

MATT: I guess also an announcement for all you League players out there: awesome character just got announced called Kindred. Kind of a two-part thing. That wolf that's the part of Kindred sounds pretty cool so you should play it.

TRAVIS: I heard that. It's subtle.

MATT: Real subtle. It's a good one. I think that's it, isn't it? I think we're good on announcements, and we can start.

TALIESIN: I feel like we have, do we have an address? Address?

MATT: Oh, the PO Box?

TALIESIN: Do we have that?

TRAVIS: It's up. Yeah, he's got it.

TALIESIN: It's up and in the chat?

RYAN: The mods are posting it in the chat.

MATT: The mods got that covered. Now diverting all Critmas images and the boxes, and we have arrived. Our nefarious Scanlan--

SAM: Whoa. Were you just talking about me?

MATT: Yeah!

SAM: Whoa, that's crazy. I was just talking about me, too.

MATT: As was the website, because your interview went up today.

SAM: Oh, that's right. I saw. Some of that I had my ghostwriter write for me. I have a biographer and a ghostwriter.

TRAVIS: Is that a ghostwriter on retainer that we can also use?

SAM: Yeah, sure.

MATT: Good to know. Well, fantastic. Do you have any announcements you want to make, Sam, or shall we jump in?

SAM: No. Just that I don't have any dice but I can use Orion's and they're going to be awesome.

LAURA: I have so many dice. Take this giant bag and just fish some out.

SAM: Great. Thanks.

TALIESIN: The Bag of Disagreeable Dice.

LAURA: No, let him find them.

MATT: All righty, then in just a minute, let us begin this next episode of Critical Role.

[dramatic music]

Part I

MATT: Welcome back. All right, so to give you guys a little heads-up of what has recently transpired in the story. The party, after completing their business in the city of Vasselheim, on the far-off northwest continent. Grog, of course, having an epic battle in the Crucible fight pit against Kern, reclaiming his honor.

TRAVIS: (singing) I am the champion, my friends.

MATT: Pike left back there to finish up the renovation of the temple of Sarenrae that was discovered. The rest of the party moved on back to Emon, the rest of their business complete. Within Emon, they returned to Greyskull Keep, where they encountered a fan, apparently, of Vox Machina, that had been camping for two weeks outside, who was promptly bludgeoned in the temple by Vax to teach him a lesson. Brought back from the brink, and taught that hard lesson-- that this is a dangerous field-- managed to seemingly reach out and touch the heart of this young, intrepid, wannabe adventurer to possibly try and better himself before he throws himself into danger's way. And he ran off to train harder.

TALIESIN: Dagger, dagger, hug.

MATT: Indeed. Upon returning to the keep, notice was sent off to one of the other members of the Council of Tal'Dorei, Seeker Asum, who is the halfling head of whispers and all sorts of subterfuge across the countryside, who came to you notifying you that within a week's time, the Briarwoods, Lord and Lady Briarwood, are supposed to be arriving here within Emon for a feast to discuss building a bridge and a more political joining between Emon, the Tal'Dorei royal family, and these up-and-coming lords and ladies, who have a very dark history with Percy's character. You've been asked to join as part of this feast as you previously requested with sovereign Tal'Dorei, that should anything involved the Briarwoods that you be included. You have a week to figure out what you want to do in advance of that. And that is where we left off.

ORION: What time of the day is it?

MATT: Right now, after this discussion, you guys' arrival, I'd say it's probably mid-afternoon. First things first, though, after this discussion with Seeker Asum, who leaves the keep, you do have a brief moment of awkward silence as most of the people that work within your keep turn to you. Laina looks about the rest of you and goes, "By the way, we've been working here for about six weeks on the pay of four. We're coming close to our next pay scheme, and you tend to leave often and for extended periods of time. We would also like to be paid, if possible."

LAURA: Most definitely, dear. Yes. We are definitely going to pay you. Does anybody remember how much we are supposed to pay them?

ORION: Pardon, what is the total of the staff's payment?

MATT: She thinks to herself for a moment, at which point you see Erwen, the elderly servant in the back says, "Actually, you had previously said it was both of our services was 50 gold each for the month. And if I recall, the other mercenaries or guardians that you've hired to watch the walls of the keep were at a discussed 100 gold for the month's wages. Each."

LAURA: And how many of those guys do we have?

MATT: "You currently have five on your payroll, yes. 600 gold pieces total per month for the services for everyone keeping your keep."

LAURA: Tell you what, I will front this from my personal funds for this month. Just because we don't have enough in the party funds to cover that.

SAM: We don't have 600 gold?

LAURA: We do not!

SAM: Who's our treasurer?!

LAURA: I am, but you bitches keep spending money!

LIAM: I'll go halfsies.

LAURA: Halfsies? Lovely. Twinsies will pay halfsies. Here you go! 300 for each.

MATT: "Thank you so much. I'll make sure this gets to the appropriate individuals immediately. They'll be very happy to not have to walk away. "

LAURA: Yes, don't worry, you will always be paid from Vox Machina.

MATT: Erwen steps in. "And by the way, if you do intend to leave for an extended period of time again, I would recommend perhaps paying that in advance. There was a bit of unrest last time."

SAM: Should we pay another month?

LAURA: Not yet. Not just yet.

ORION: I'll pay him in advance right now, just to get it out of the way. 600, out of here, phew, there you go.

MATT: "Very well, sire! I shall disseminate this amongst the others."

TALIESIN: Traditionally, the head of the house does dispense out the stipends anyway. That would be appropriate. I'm not even in the room, am I? Never mind! Sorry.

MATT: Yeah, you're down in the workshop.

LAURA: Can I go find Percy?

MATT: You can.

MARISHA: Actually, we should all go find Percy. We should all talk to Percy.

MATT: "Thank you kindly, Tiberius. Thank you." And he wanders off and begins counting out change into a smaller purse.

ORION: When they start to go, I'd like to go to the temple with the sigils and talk to the guy who runs the place.

MATT: Oh, you mean the Lyceum?

ORION: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, the Alabaster Lyceum.

ORION: Yeah, because I learned something new this week and I was like, I'm dumb. But that's where I would like to head.

MATT: All right. So you make your way towards the Alabaster Lyceum. The rest of you head down into Percy's workshop. So you head around the outskirts of the inner portion of the keep itself, down the stairway that leads to the basement floor, which contains a small cell, like a holding cell that you had constructed for you in case you had somebody to take prisoner at some point. To the right. To the left of you, there's a small turning hallway that leads to the workshop. The workshop contains a series of various tools, workbenches. It actually has a working forge, with anvil and various blacksmithing tools. And as you guys come down, the heat is already blasting from it, and you can see Percy madly diving into work of some kind.

TRAVIS: What are you doing, Percy? You making more mousetraps? Guess not.

TALIESIN: I'm a bit busy. I am making more ammo. I'm working on a few projects that have been rolling around in my head for quite some time now.

ORION: (whispers) Don't forget the bolt.

TALIESIN: The bolt is on the list, yes.

LAURA: Quite the worker.

TALIESIN: I've got a lot to do.

LAURA: Yes. Darling...

TALIESIN: How many of you are down here right now?

TRAVIS: I think we're all here. I'm moving through his stuff.

LAURA: I let Trinket forage around the courtyard, so he's not down here at the moment.

LIAM: I think we need a little history lesson here--

TALIESIN: Grog, don't touch that!

TRAVIS: Why not? But it moves!

LAURA: Don't touch anything.

ORION: Matthew, I took some fine meats before I left and I'm feeding them to Lockheed along the way.

MATT: Okay. Lockheed enjoys them thoroughly. They're delicious. Comfort food crafted by the finest of cooks in Greyskull Keep.

MARISHA: Percy, it's hard not to clearly notice that you're quite distressed, and we're concerned. And you know, we were talking about it-- not that we were talking about you or anything, behind your back or anything-- but we never really found out why you were in that prison cell when we found you.

LIAM: We've never questioned it before. We've never wanted to make you uncomfortable. But we're about to walk into a party, and I feel like we need a bit of a history lesson.

TALIESIN: Ugh. I know you're right. (sighs)

TRAVIS: Should we guess? Was it public nudity?

TALIESIN: A bit. I've never had to say this out loud before. I've never actually had this discussion with anyone.

SAM: It's okay. It gets better.

TALIESIN: Do I get an inspiration die for that?

MATT: I'll give you a d6 inspiration die.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: The Briarwoods, Lord and Lady Briarwood, are responsible for the death of my entire family. Whitestone was my home. Many years ago-- I don't want to get into the details. I came from a big family. I came from a proud family. One night, they were invited into our home, and over the course of that night, they slaughtered everybody. They are evil. They are corrupting. The few survivors of Castle Whitestone who did survive only survived through deceit and by working for the Briarwoods, turning on their masters. Thankfully, the de Rolo family still has standing elsewhere, and there's other branches of the family other than my father's. (sighs) I was lost for quite a while after that happened. I had nothing else in my life other than my family. I was never really going to inherit anything. I was not going to run anything. I was idle. And at some point, I made the decision that, if nothing else, I survived to, maybe, extract some vengeance. Maybe set something right. Maybe stop whatever it was that they were doing. I don't know. There was one of their party, Dr. Ripley. She was in charge of something during the murder. I don't know what. I chased her. I chased her down. It took a year, and I had my gun, and I discovered where she was and where she was working on some ruins, and I approached her. I never even saw her face. Her guards captured me, beat me up. Didn't even bother taking my things. They just threw me in that dungeon. I never even got close enough to see her face.

SAM: You know her name, but you've never seen her before?

TALIESIN: I saw her when she was interrogating me in my home.

SAM: Oh, so you could recognize her.

TALIESIN: Oh yes.

LAURA: How did you get away when they-- with the rest of your family?

TALIESIN: My sister Cassandra, my younger sister. She somehow evaded capture. I don't know how. She set me free. I don't know what became of her. I don't know what became of any of my siblings. Probably nothing reasonable. Nothing good.

LIAM: You witnessed none of these deaths?

TALIESIN: I saw bodies of a few of them. It's all a bit shady. It's all a bit of a blur.

SAM: How many years ago was this?

TALIESIN: (sighs) Four now. Five now.

LAURA: If you know that they murdered your family, how are they still part of society?

TALIESIN: I don't know. (sighs) I could have gone home. I could have gone home at any point, at this point. I'm scared.

MARISHA: Did they take over Whitestone? Are they still there?

TALIESIN: I discovered approximately a week ago that they're still at Whitestone.

LAURA: Will they recognize you?

TALIESIN: I don't know.

TRAVIS: And these pricks are in good standing with the council?

TALIESIN: (sighs) I don't know what to do. I'm preparing for anything. When I got thrown into that dungeon, I came to the realization that maybe I wasn't doing this the right way. I wasn't being responsible, and I prayed to whatever it is I pray to that maybe I would have a sign of what I should be doing, and then there you were. I've been trusting that Vox Machina will take me where I need to go, and maybe what I need to do is confront this, but I don't know what this is, and I'm terrified.

LIAM: And the remains of your family, were they killed by the sword?

TALIESIN: I don't know. There was an interrogation. Dr. Ripley was asking questions. I assumed, for all these years, that that's what became of my family.

MARISHA: What was she asking questions about? What did they want? Was it just a political coup?

TALIESIN: Asking questions about the castle, about things about the castle. It was a long time ago, and I was not equipped for torture. I don't remember much.

TRAVIS: Do you want them dead?

TALIESIN: I think so.

LAURA: Should we interrogate them first? Find out more about your family?

TRAVIS: Or just skip ahead to the dead part?

TALIESIN: I put down my gun, and I turn the barrel, and of the six barrels, five of them have names, and Lord and Lady Briarwood are two of those names. Dr. Ripley is another.

SAM: What are the other ones?

TALIESIN: Sir Stonefell is the other, and Professor Anders is the other, and then there's one blank one.

LAURA: Are they all members of the same party? They travel with the Briarwoods?

TALIESIN: I don't know.

MARISHA: Wait, what were the names? The Briarwoods, Ripley, Sir Kerrion Stonefell. Who is he?

TALIESIN: He was the captain of their guard.

MARISHA: And Professor Anders? Who's that?

TALIESIN: Professor Anders was my teacher. He was my tutor, and he was in collusion with them, and he was the one that I believe allowed them to take the castle in the night.

MARISHA: And do you remember why they were invited to Whitestone to begin with?

TALIESIN: They were traveling. They were on the road. It was my brother Julius and my sister Vesper who handled matters of court. I was studying. I didn't think.

MARISHA: And how many brothers and sisters do you have?

TALIESIN: I had six.

LAURA: You might have six. We don't know what happened to them.

MARISHA: You said you saw a few bodies of family?

TALIESIN: It's all very much a blur. (sighs) There's things you just forget.

SAM: Well, this is certainly tragic, but looking forward, what do we know of this meeting? Event? Party? What are we doing?

LAURA: Well, I think we need to do some spying.

SAM: Well, do they know Percy's among us?

LAURA: That's the thing. I don't know if they do.

TALIESIN: You don't have to get involved in this.

LAURA: Oh, we are so involved.

TRAVIS: (laughing) Yeah, we do. You said you want them dead.

LAURA: We've got your back, darling.

LIAM: Percival, you don't really have a choice in the matter. My sister and I know a little piece of your pain. I'm not going to get into it, but there's nothing she and I can do. We can find reparations for you. We will.

MARISHA: Percy, is this what you want?

TALIESIN: There's only one way to find out.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: And if we kill them, how much will you pay us? Just kidding. We ask other people that.

LAURA: Something I do need to know. Percy. If we see them, and we're not ready to show our faces, will you be able to contain yourself?

TALIESIN: I think so.

MARISHA: And would they be able to recognize your face?

TALIESIN: Which is why I was planning on-- I know we have a cap of disguise.

TRAVIS: Oh! We do.

LAURA: Scanlan has it.

TALIESIN: I don't even know if they would recognize me. My hair was different.

LAURA: Less purple?

SAM: We could go into town, and find you a bushy mustache. It's worked for me many times.

TALIESIN: I don't think I wear one as well as you do.

LIAM: How does that cap work?

SAM: Well, that cap is more of a hat. While wearing this hat you can use an action to cast Disguise spell. Oh. Cast a Disguise spell? Do you have to be a spellcaster to use it?

MATT: You do not have to, no.

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: I see a shiny tool. I don't know what it does.

MATT: You reach over and grab it, and it's a large set of tongs, used for gripping large, heavy pieces of metal, either for the actual forge itself, or to bend and manipulate on the workbench.

TRAVIS: I take it (yawns) and put it in the Bag of Holding.

MATT: Make a sleight of hand check.

MARISHA: Stealing from the workshop that you partially own?

TRAVIS: There are lots of cool stuff in there! What was the check?

MATT: Sleight of hand.

TRAVIS: Where's sleight of hand-- 17!

LAURA: My passive perception is 21.

TALIESIN: No, this could be funny, let this happen.

LAURA: I give him the evil eye.

MATT: She gives you the evil eye.

TRAVIS: It hurts. I put it back.

TALIESIN: Out of curiosity, what did you pick up, what did it look like?

TRAVIS: It was a big thing of tongs. I didn't know what it did, I just wanted it.

TALIESIN: A big thing of tongs? What would I have to roll to find out if it was covered in some basic sulfuric acid? If it was one of the things I was using for casting.

MATT: Ah, interesting. You know your tools very well in your workshop, and yeah, the metal is scarred and pockmarked from use with the various corrosive chemicals.

TALIESIN: That'll take about ten minutes to take effect. All right.

(gasping)

ORION: Stupid.

LAURA: You're not there.

SAM: Well this Hat of Disguise, Percival, it requires some attunement. I don't know how capable you are with magical items.

TALIESIN: I can find out.

LIAM: We got seven days. I can make you look like anything. I can talk to the right people and get you the right paperwork and you can be anyone and no one will know a fucking difference.

MARISHA: Calm down there.

TALIESIN: I can forge paperwork, as well.

LAURA: Oh yes, he can. He's actually the guy we go to.

MARISHA: He is that guy you meet on the corner of Sandy Alley.

SAM: I can make us all into birds.

TRAVIS: Are we supposed to go meet with the council right away?

TALIESIN: No, in a week.

SAM: What do we do in the week? Prepare. Recon?

LAURA: We can do things. How long of a ride is it to Kraghammer?

MATT: To Kraghammer, on horseback? It's about two and a half days.

LAURA: Solo style, if you're fast, and back?

MATT: Fast and back? I'd say just under two days, probably.

TALIESIN: How about the giant eagle flies?

MARISHA: Yeah, what if you're flying?

MATT: I'd say, well, the horse is probably a little bit faster than the eagle.

LAURA: But you don't have to stick to the road as an eagle.

MATT: I'd say it'd put you there about the same pace, about two days on eagle, because you can just go straight through. I mean, you want to take the road because you know that there's a lot of dangerous things that wander the wild that are between there.

LAURA: What do you think? Is it stupid to go and ride hard and try to get there and back before--?

SAM: Wait, we're going to get cash and come back?

LAURA: We don't all have to go. A couple of us can make a fast ride.

MARISHA: Tiberius is working on it, I have a feeling deep down inside.

ORION: (laughs) Why would you say that?

MATT: You know I deduct points for metagaming.

ORION: I didn't do anything!

TALIESIN: I agree we should send someone for the money. I agree.

SAM: And it won't take us a whole week to prepare for this party. All we need is a couple disguises.

MARISHA: Yeah, but we need to do research. You barely know who the Briarwoods are.

LIAM: We don't know if these people are straight up gangster, or if there's something supernatural, seriously supernatural, about them. That hat would probably work on 80% of people, but I don't know. We don't know anything about them.

MARISHA: Well, they're not going to recognize any of us, are they?

SAM: We could go do some recon.

TRAVIS: Besides, have we seen all the brothels in Emon? I don't think so.

SAM: We should do some research, some reconnaissance while someone goes for the money.

LAURA: Or should we wait? I really want the money.

TALIESIN: People get married in my family for money. I think it's perfectly reasonable.

SAM: Listen, we could all go get the money and be back in four days, right?

LAURA: No, because some people need to do some work. We need to send some people off.

SAM: Split the party?

LIAM: Yes.

LAURA: Hopefully be back in time.

TALIESIN: There's four days. We can each do our part. Five days.

LIAM: Keyleth, can you-- Kiki.

MARISHA: Yes? Sorry.

LIAM: Can you and Scanlan fly to Kraghammer?

MARISHA: Yes. I would like to stop and talk to Gilmore first, though, before I leave. Do I have time for that? I can fly.

LAURA: Our illustrious god just told us it's better to stick to the road because there's bad things--

MARISHA: In the air? There's air traffic? I have to worry about air traffic?

MATT: By horseback, you want to stick to the road. By air--

SAM: By air, though. Check yourself, Kiki--

MARISHA: What?

SAM: You, I would assume, use Polymorph as I do.

MARISHA: No, I use my Beast Shaping.

SAM: Ooh. That's so sexy. Does that last for longer than a day?

MARISHA: It lasts as long as I want it to last.

SAM: Damn!

TRAVIS: I go up to the kitchen and look for something to eat.

MARISHA: It's in my blood.

SAM: You can be an animal as long as you want?

MARISHA: Where are you going with this, Scanlan?

MATT: You can stay in Beast Shape for a number of hours equal to half your druid level. Five hours right now, you can transform for.

MARISHA: So when I mean as long as I want, I mean, long enough to where I've never had to really think about it before now.

SAM: Well then, like me, flying there would not be an option. We'd have to stop, rest, walk, sleep.

LAURA: Yeah, that would slow it down a lot.

MARISHA: Well, I could get ten hours, because I can use two Beast Shaping abilities.

LAURA: But that's still a two days' flight--

LIAM: Two days is the horse, riding hard. What about an eagle?

MARISHA: No, I get my druid shapes back after a short rest.

LAURA: Oh, okay.

MARISHA: Because Circle of the Moon, bitch.

MATT: So you could Beast Shape twice, rest 30 minutes, Beast Shape twice.

MARISHA: Can I make a stop first, and then I'll run an errand?

LIAM: We don't really have a lot of money at the moment.

LAURA: She might have some.

MARISHA: Yeah, I've got my personal fundsies.

TALIESIN: Can you leave me an earpiece so that I can keep in contact? I'm not leaving my workshop.

MARISHA: I have an earpiece, right?

LAURA: We'll leave you alone, Percy. To work.

MARISHA: Is there anything else you need from us, Percy? Is there anything you need while I'm out and about?

TALIESIN: Leave me an earpiece, and I'll call if I need anything else.

TRAVIS: Percy, is there anything in this shop that you want in the Bag of Holding for later?

TALIESIN: Not yet. Thank you, Grog.

LAURA: Do you not have an earpiece?

TRAVIS: I'll give him mine.

TALIESIN: How many minutes has it been? I'm wondering if his hands are starting to itch yet.

MATT: About this time, you start to get this weird tingling sensation around your fingers.

TRAVIS: Do they crave blood?

MATT: No, they crave some sort of an agent that will prevent the now slight burning sensation.

TRAVIS: Ow. Quick question. Sorry, I kept something from falling in the shop-- really quick reflexes-- it's making my bits tingle. Do you have anything for that?

LIAM: You haven't been scratching yourself, have you?

TRAVIS: No, I had that before. Not the same thing.

TALIESIN: There's a bucket of water in the corner. You can try that.

TRAVIS: I go over to the bucket of water and I stick my hands in the water.

TALIESIN: It'll make it worse.

MATT: It does. The slight burning sensation now has turned into a very vibrant burning white hot on the skin, and you can see bits of the skin start to peel back a little bit, beginning on the edges.

TALIESIN: I hand him a small bag of powder. Now you've learned not to touch things if you don't know what they are.

TRAVIS: What do I do with a bag of powder?

TALIESIN: I pour the powder on his hands.

MATT: It foams up a little bit in places, but it is neutralized.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: You're a good friend.

TRAVIS: Can I leave now? I go to the kitchen to eat.

MATT: All righty. You easily get another meal mustered for you.

MARISHA: I'm going to go make a trip to Gilmore's. Anybody want to join?

LIAM: I should probably tag along.

SAM: I'll come, too.

MATT: You're working in the workshop, you're eating, you guys are going to Gilmore's. All right. So as this is happening, Tiberius, you make your way over to the Alabaster Lyceum. You come up to the front main area of the structure itself. It's an arcane college. You make your way to the front clerk, who looks up to you, a nice young fellow, looks like he's trying to work through his credit in school through his training. He's dressed in the ceremonial robes of somebody who is a student, who is currently stuck with the job of working as a clerk. He's like, "Hi, can I help you?"

ORION: Yes, hi, if you do not remember me, I am Tiberius Stormwind, from Draconia. Moreover, Vox Machina, over at Greyskull Keep.

MATT: "Where have I heard that--"

ORION: Well, we told you multiple times before. We met with you using your sigil of teleport-- it's fine. I've come here on a matter of business anyway, so that's neither here nor there. I was wondering if I may procure an address, or number as it were, for a sigil to Kraghammer. I believe the Thunderbrands would have some facility near theirs or on their own premises where their sigil could be channeled through the Circle of Teleportation spell.

MATT: "If you're talking about sigils for teleportation, you would probably have to discuss that with Gatekeeper Xanthas."

ORION: Where is he? I thought that was you.

MATT: "No. I'm the clerk. I run the front of the-- follow me." And he gets up and leads you further into the structure to the central circular room, the white-marbled room that contains all the doors around, and in the center there is the Traverse Junction. This is the place you guys have stumbled into every single time you've teleported back to Emon. And there you see the elven wizard who you recently bothered naught but maybe five hours ago, who is currently setting up some sheets, comes back. "Oh. Hello, again."

ORION: Hi. I'm Tiberius Stormwind, from Draconia. Moreover, Vox Machina over at Greyskull Keep. I was wondering-- and I asked your clerk here because I thought he did what you actually do here-- if I may procure, for coin or perhaps some kind of favor of sorts, the address or number or code or whatever it is that would work for the Kraghammer sigil of my Circle of Teleportation.

MATT: "I get an understanding here that you're seeking access to one of our many sigil-based rooms of transference. Those rooms are currently under very protected lock and key, approval by the headmaster Thurmond Adalum himself."

ORION: Okay, where is he?

MARISHA: Oh my god. It's like calling Time Warner Cable.

ORION: Can you take me to him? Where is he at?

MATT: Glances over at the clerk, who goes, "Right this way, Mr. Stormwind." He leads you back to a long, long hallway with arched ceiling. You can see the marble itself has these carvings and sculptures of various dead-looking faces of long-passed mages that either were built or held in high esteem in the halls of this lyceum. At the very end, it opens up into a pretty well-decorated, almost over-the-top decorated office room for the headmaster himself. The interior is lined with large, large 15, 20-foot-tall bookshelves around this oval room with sliding ladders that are attached to them that slowly glide on their own, like they're on some sort of arcane-based pattern that puts them back and forth. There is a large chandelier of brightly colored orbs that sits 35, 40 feet in the air, that slowly rotates on its own that keeps this slowly fluctuating changing color of the room. And in the center there is a circular desk, and sitting there at the desk you can see is Headmaster Thurmond, who is this extremely elderly human male. Shaved face, very short, curved bald head with a little bit of hair in the back, hunched forward and is currently collecting a series of books into his arms. Looks like he's about to get up. And he turns and looks over. "Can I help you?"

ORION: Hello.

ORION and SAM: I'm Tiberius Stormwind from Draconia.

ORION: Moreover, Vox Machina over at Greyskull Keep here in Emon. We are the saviors of this town and whatnot. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. I went through this fellow, who I thought was the job of this fellow, but it wasn't either of those jobs, it was you who I've been needing to talk to, I'm assuming?

MATT: "What do you require from me, then?"

ORION: I'm hoping to procure an address or access to the sigils of Kraghammer through my Circle of Teleportation spell and whatnot using your arcane gates. That's about it.

(laughter)

SAM: Well put!

MATT: "If you're asking for access to one of our closely guarded sigils for the Thunderbrands, you say, within Kraghammer?"

ORION: Yes, yes. We'll have to speak with them as well.

MATT: "Well, then I will-- just one moment." And he reaches into a pouch and pulls out this mirror, this oval mirror and sets it onto his desk. Reaches underneath and pulls out a small chest. Opens up the chest, and you can see in this chest that there are probably two dozen of these tiny little marbles, all different colors, some different shapes, and he goes, these little labels you can't really see from your perspective. He takes one out, places it in the top of the mirror, and as he does, the mirror all of a sudden shimmers for a second, and what was originally a normal reflection is now this light, glowing blue, slightly glowing water-like surface. He takes it and lifts it up to himself. "Hello. Hello? Hello!" A moment later, you hear this distant voice echoing with this strange warbling filter over it. "I'm coming, what's taking your time. Yes, Headmaster, what do you require?" "Well, there's a gentleman here, dragonborn, who is requesting use of your sigil of teleportation. Do you know this gentleman?" Turns it around, and you can see in there, this is the same long-bearded dwarven individual that met you at the actual Thunderbrand house, and had a bit of an argument with you early in your travels in Kraghammer.

ORION: We've got things for you, this time, like we said we would get for you. In the Underdark. It's really inconvenient, but we have things that we need to get to you quickly.

MATT: "Now, listen here. Last we spoke, you and your friends stormed into our lair, nearly destroyed our precious arcane defenses of our homestead--"

ORION: He was drinking. He's an alcoholic. He's got help since then.

MATT: Make a deception check.

ORION: What is it?

MATT: This is deception. Well, you are an alcoholic, but that wasn't what he meant.

ORION: 20.

MATT: 20. (laughs) He goes, "Either way, we can't just let anyone willy-nilly knowing how to directly appear in the center of our homestead."

ORION: (in same accent as Matt) Of course. Oh, sorry, I started to sound like you.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Bring me another accent, aye.

ORION: Of course. I wouldn't expect you to. I'm Tiberius Stormwind, from Draconia. My father Kruvanis Stormwind has helped the Council for over two generations. We come from a noble house, and I give you my word that I will never abuse-- abuse?-- however you pronounce it in your tongue. The privilege of quickly traveling to your stead to do business with you, and there would be no other intrusion otherwise. I guarantee it as my name as a Stormwind.

MATT: Make a persuasion roll.

SAM: Chief negotiator!

ORION: That's 11.

MATT: 11. His head turns to the side a little bit, peering through you with a slight scowl. "Last we talked, the reason we didn't report you to the guard for breaking through our defenses was you promised to look beneath the city and bring back various artifacts you were in search of."

ORION: Ooh, we found one!

MATT: "Did you, now?"

ORION: A couple, yes. And we killed a bunch of those buttholes.

MATT: "Can I see one of these artifacts?"

ORION: I don't have it on me right now.

MATT: "We're done here, Headmaster." And the mirror shimmers and closes suddenly.

MARISHA: Wait. No?

LIAM: Good try!

LAURA: We can bring-- oh, we're not there.

MATT: The headmaster takes the marble out and says, "I'm sorry that didn't seem to go your way."

ORION: It's fine, Headmaster. I'll be back in about 15 minutes with the proper proof that we did procure the things that the man, that needed to have proof, did. Excuse me! And I get the hell out of there. And as soon as I get out of there, I cast Fly on myself, and I Gandalf (whoosh) right back to the keep.

MATT: All righty. You're eating. You're crafting. Are you going with the rest of them to Gilmore?

LAURA: I don't know. I guess so.

MATT: All right. You guys make your way to the outside of Gilmore's Glorious Goods.

SAM: As we walk, do we see Tiberius fly over our heads?

LAURA: Actually, I'm staying at the Keep.

ORION: Well, Travis is my target, right? Are you still at the Keep?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'm eating.

MATT: As far as time goes, you haven't quite gotten to that point yet, for these guys. You get to Gilmore's. You enter the interior. You can see that for the most part, there aren't a lot of people in here. It's getting later in the day, and a lot of the customer business seems to be happening almost earlier, either pre-noon, or around noon. There's no current sign of Gilmore. You do see, across the way-- what's her name, again?

MARISHA: Sherri.

MATT: Thank you. Sherri, the mousy helper who runs the shop in Gilmore's absence, or at least runs the first portion of it, with her thick glasses up on her nose, and she's sitting there with her elbows over the top of the main desk. She looks up as you enter, and takes her glasses and pokes them for a second. "Hello? Hi."

LIAM: Do you remember us?

MATT: "Right, I do."

MARISHA: From Vox Machina? We're sponsored by Gilmore. He put the brand on my armor that my mother gave me.

MATT: "And you should be wearing it proudly, yes? Now, what can I help you with?"

SAM: Well, is Gilmore around?

LIAM: Yes, I was hoping to catch up with him. We've been gone a while, and I was hoping to trade news with Glorious Gilmore. Is he not in at the moment?

MATT: "Gilmore's in Westruun, currently setting up the expansion of the Gilmore's Glorious Goods business. If this is important, I can certainly summon him here."

LIAM: I'd hate to pull him away from business. I don't want to get in the way of his business. I mean, I am rather sad not to see him, but no, I don't think that would be a course of action we'd want to take. Let him continue to set up.

MATT: "All right, I suppose."

LIAM: Can you get a message to him, though?

MATT: "Yes, I can, actually."

LIAM: Well, tell him Vax'ildan and friends visited. We're in the city for a week.

MATT: She pulls out a small sheet of what looks like a rough-around-the-edges piece of parchment, and starts the inkwell, scribbling down.

LIAM: Vax'ildan. That's with an A, not an E. We're here for a week. I don't know if he's going to be back from Westruun before then, but if he is, tell him to get word to me. I'm very interested in exchanging news for the past few weeks.

MATT: "All right." (foreign words) It flashes and disappears in front of her. "Well then, he'll be receiving the message right about now. We'll pass that on, and whenever he returns, I'm certain he will get back to you and deal with whatever business is necessary."

LIAM: Thank you. We're here late in the day; are you still open for business?

MATT: "We are open, yes."

MARISHA: I was just curious if you guys had a chance to think about the alchemy workshop that we talked about before, or if you maybe had any alchemy books that came in that I was requesting?

MATT: "It's possible. We haven't completely restocked the shelves, as of late. I know we had some new things come in. I can go check." And as she turns, all of a sudden there's a large, vibrant, white flash of light and a sound from the back room. The beaded curtains shift, for a second, and you hear heavy footsteps. And pushing through the beaded curtain, you see before you, with a bead of sweat on his head, Gilmore! "I'm so glad you came back!"

SAM and MARISHA: Gilmore!

MATT: "I'm sorry. I was out and about, running some business a ways away."

LIAM: You didn't have to go to all that trouble to come back here.

MATT: "How could I miss seeing my fine-- there's not as many of you as usual."

LIAM: No, we're seeing to different bits of business. I turn back to him, I walk forward with hands out. I walk up to him, take him by the head, give him a good European-style kiss just about here-- right there-- come back, and say, there is so much to talk about. Where can we be alone?

MATT: He looks over at the rest of the group. "Well, I mean--"

(laughter)

MATT: "But of course."

LIAM: See to whatever business you need to.

SAM: We'll just peruse, yeah. We'll window shop.

MATT: He walks back through the beaded curtain, giving you this look over his shoulder. As he does, the curtain falls behind him.

LIAM: Those beads.

TRAVIS: Oh jeez!

LIAM: I walk right in. Follow him in.

MATT: And you can see now, as the glow gently fades, there is a rug that is pushed to the side, and on the floor of his room there is a familiar sigil, similar to the one that you've seen Tiberius scrawl before in some of his spells. That's apparently how he got here so quickly. But he walks in, and he kicks the rug back over it, sits down on the edge of his bed, puts his hands up and goes, "What seems to be troubling you?"

LIAM: I walk over and I sit down opposite him, and I say: Before we talk about anything, I feel like I should apologize because although we didn't have any sort of written agreement, you and I are friends, aren't we?

MATT: "Yes."

LIAM: And I was supposed to help bring your brand wherever we went. And I thought that would be possible. We came back from the Underdark. We had a very hard time, some of the hardest weeks of my life. I haven't delivered on my promise. And I mean to, but I haven't yet. I apologize wholeheartedly. I'm sorry.

MATT: "That's all right. I understand: people grow busy. There are things you must tend to, and that's all right. And I appreciate you being so honest, I really do."

LIAM: In addition to that, I am changed, and promises mean more to me, even more than they did before. And I promise to follow through. In the interest of time for the game, DM, Vax tells the whole story of the Underdark, of the horn, of how close it was.

MARISHA: Ugh, what is taking him so long, Scanlan?

SAM: I don't know.

MATT: While that's happening, the rest of you are left there awkwardly staring about.

MARISHA: Did Sherri find my book? Sherri?

MATT: A few minutes go by. Sherri comes back. She brings two books over. "Best I can tell, these may be what you're looking for? I can't quite--" She sets them down. One is a book that is the properties of various liquids, chemicals, and things that are found on this plane and otherwise. It's a good way to locate and identify phantom liquids, should you come across any.

MARISHA: That would be good for Scanlan.

TALIESIN: He is the source of a lot of phantom liquids.

MATT: The other book appears to have a section about alchemy. It's essentially almost a beginner's guide, but it's a very, very easy-to-follow introduction to a number of various low-level sorceries and the creation of low-level spell components preparing them for use with spell-casting, and there is a chapter on a little bit of alchemy.

MARISHA: Okay, how much are these, Sherri?

MATT: "They haven't been priced, yet."

MARISHA: I mean, they're-- they're all right.

LAURA: Good going, Keyleth! I like it!

MATT: "25 gold, each."

MARISHA: 25 gold, each? Oh, come on. I know some university student dropped these off and donated these. Don't kid me, Sherri. Am I doing it right? Do I sound like Vex?

MATT: Make a persuasion roll.

MARISHA: Damn it!

TALIESIN: I was about to say, make her do a persuasion roll, it'd be funny.

SAM: Unforced error.

TALIESIN: I'm sorry!

(laughter)

LIAM: I spoke too soon!

TRAVIS: So perfect! So perfect for you.

MATT: She reaches out and takes the books and slides them back, and says, "Well, if that's how you feel, perhaps these can be returned to those university students that perhaps left them by. I should put these in the lost and found."

MARISHA: Sherri!

SAM: Sherri. If I may. What Keyleth was trying to say was that she never got a chance to go to college, and that she wanted to get that university experience.

MATT: "Good luck."

SAM: Well, that didn't work. Hey, can you serve me, now?

MARISHA: (whispering) Scanlan. Scanlan! Will you buy those books for me, and I'll reimburse you?

MATT: "I can hear you. I'm right here."

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Walk away!

MATT: "Yes, I'm happy to help you."

SAM: I was wondering if you had a small box of some sort that could carry a magical item, and perhaps shield it from detection.

MATT: "That? Yes, we do have a couple of those. Hold on." She darts up the stairway in the other room and goes to the second floor. A few moments later, she comes back down with these two small chests-- they're about that big, each. One's a lighter wood color, the other is painted black all over. "We have both of these. They should shield something of this size from most low-level magical detections. These will run you about 200 gold apiece."

SAM: I just need one. You're a woman of the world, and I'm sure you have fine taste, judging by your appearance. It is quite fine, if I may say so myself. If I were a little taller, I would probably ask you out on a date.

MATT: "If you were a little taller, yes."

MARISHA: Sherri is sassy today!

ORION: She's full of sass!

SAM: Which one is the fancier of the two?

MATT: "Well, looking at these, this one--" She points to the one that looks like just a casual, wood chest. "This would be easier to hide in plain sight amongst the rest of your furniture. This one, however, would be difficult to locate in a more shaded, or lightless, circumstance."

SAM: Hm. I want ostentatiousness.

MATT: "Then perhaps this one?"

SAM: Yes, please. That. Thanks. Thank you. 200 to you. Also, I know Gilmore is otherwise entertained. Can you try to identify something for me? Do you have that-- I mean, judging by the glint in your eye and beauty in your heart, I'm sure you have many skills I don't know about, but I'm wondering if you could identify this small, red vial with a floating something in it, that I procured quite some time ago! Do you remember that?

MATT: Yes. This vial, if I recall, it has this small--

SAM: Have I tried this, once before?

MATT: No, this is the one that was found--

SAM: Me and Pike found some stuff in somebody's house? I don't even remember, this was a year ago.

MATT: Right. Yes, okay. There we go. And make a persuasion roll, actually, on this one.

SAM: A lot.

TALIESIN: Oh, look: a real roll.

MARISHA: Shut up.

SAM: Persuasion? It's 35. Wait, 31. 31.

TRAVIS: Matt just visited his mind palace.

MATT: She looks at you, and goes, "You have been good patrons, and you have been much kinder to me than others. We'll put this one on the house. We'll call this on the house." And as she takes the vial, sets it down, and she pulls out another book that she shuffles through, puts it up, turns through a few pages, until, looking through, "This here would be a Potion of Fire Breath. When imbibed, it should give you a temporary time period of the ability to breathe fire, much like a relatively young dragon. This one in particular is fire. There are many different vials like this that pertain to different colorations of dragon, but this one is specifically for the red."

SAM: Thank you so much. Thank you. Well, thank you so much. Two more questions, then I'll leave you alone. One: where can I go get business cards printed up, in this town? It's a calling card? Never mind! Forget it.

MATT: "Like a flyer?"

SAM: Yes!

MATT: "Those can be printed. There is a-- actually, a pretty well-designed print facility not that far up the road."

SAM: Oh, great! Thank you; I'll go investigate that. And one other thing: you know those books that my friend was asking about? Could we maybe make those happen for her? I know that you had quoted her a low, low price of 25. I'd be prepared to pay even more than that for them. And compose you a little song about yourself.

MATT: At which point, for the first time since the entire time you've been in the shop of Gilmore's Glorious Goods, you see a slight grin creep across her lips. She goes, "How could a lady say no to a song? 25 gold! The price stands."

SAM: So I have to pay you and sing to you?

MATT: "We run a business, here, yes."

SAM: All right.

MATT: She pulls the books out.

SAM: I bring out my-- something.

(laughter)

SAM: (sings) Sherri baby, Sherri baby, Sherri, won't you come home tonight? Come home tonight? You better ask your mama. Tell her you're without a gnome! Why don't you come home to my keep!

MATT: "Pay for the books!"

SAM: Okay, here you go!

MATT: You can see, her face is flushed and she, (clears throat).

MARISHA: I Druidcraft a flower real quick and slip it to Scanlan to give to her.

SAM: Oh! Here you are.

MATT: "Thank you."

TRAVIS: (gasps) Did she blush?

MATT: She's red in the face. At this point in time, the beaded curtains reopen. Have you finished the conversation, or do you want to keep going?

LIAM: No. After ten minutes of finishing all that, of telling every tiny detail, if you mind me backtracking, I briefly place my hand on top of his, and say, it was terrible. I've never seen anything like it. Now we're back. We're in our home, and I'm hoping to learn how Uriel is doing, how the city is faring. Is there any news? Things are ill in Kraghammer; they still haven't seen the last of their troubles, but I'm also concerned for our new home here.

MATT: "As far as I'm aware, this city has been doing rather well. Since Winter's Crest just this previous year, trade has been booming, we're opening up pathways all across the continent, we've improved relations with many other distant kingdoms, and I'm opening a second shop! I mean, that's amazing! And who would've thought?"

LIAM: And Westruun, how's it going?

MATT: "So far, so good. We're going through the construction process, and I'm making sure that I have a rather supple income of artifacts and oddities that I have to sell at both locations. I have to widen my input of various items and--"

LIAM: You're a busy man.

MATT: "Oh, yes."

LIAM: Have you any time for leisure?

MATT: "Eventually." You can see, he's a little more worn than you've seen Gilmore before. He's still Gilmore, and he's excited, but after the tale you told him and opening the second shop has been a little rough on him, and his jovial self is a little more wearied. Though he still looks fabulous.

LIAM: You seem a tad weary. Is there anything I can do to help you?

MATT: "Just praise the brand. Praise the brand, young Vax."

LIAM: That will happen. I did not even mean to discuss this, coming here, but I noticed, coming in, a sigil under your carpet. I had no intention of this, but we need to get back to Kraghammer in a bit of a hurry, and I certainly have no abilities, but do you remember my friend Tiberius? Dragonborn fellow?

MATT: "Yes! Yes, I remember him."

LIAM: He needs to run an errand back in Kraghammer. Is there any way you could hook us up with a favor?

MATT: "What kind of favor?"

LIAM: I just want to send the lizard to Dwarf Town. Do you think we could make that happen?

MARISHA: "Send the lizard to Dwarf Town?" How many more slurs can you have in one sentence?

MATT: "My sigil here is for returning personal use. Did you hear that? There was some strange noise in the sky. This is for my return. As far as outgoing, most other sigils are-- well, they're up here. Looking for that, you're going to have to go to the Lyceum, I'm afraid."

LIAM: Understood. I don't want to push my luck.

MATT: "However, if you're going to the Lyceum... I am owed a favor or two. Let me see what I can do, here." And he goes, and he pulls out another piece of similar paper and he writes a quick little note on the side, sends it up in the air, and it vanishes. He goes, "I've just done you a favor. Keep that in mind. You go to the Lyceum, you should have access to one of these sigils. Make sure you choose properly. You only have one."

LIAM: I'm pretty magic-stupid.

MATT: "Then don't be the one that does it. Talk to your friend, this Tiberius fellow. He'll know what to do, I'm sure."

LIAM: Correct. One last. It's small or it's boring, it's business. I need a dagger. I don't want one for free or anything; I want to purchase it, but we're a little low on funds. The reason Tiberius needs to go to Kraghammer is because we're owed a large sum of money.

MATT: "Right, you mentioned this last time, when you almost opened a line of Gilmore's Glorious Credit."

LAURA: Mm-hm. I'm not there.

LIAM: What would the credit entail?

MATT: "Previously, we discussed 25,000 gold pieces, the amount of which you were going to retrieve."

LIAM: I was going to-- what was that?

MATT: "Retrieve."

LIAM: Retrieve? God, I've been in the Underdark so long. What was the deal?

MATT: "The deal was since you did not have funds, and you had to retrieve this money from this 'Dwarf Town', as you so graciously put it, that you would borrow the money, at the time, and then pay me back within a month. Within a month."

LIAM: Understood.

MARISHA: Wait, is Gilmore trying to say we owe him money?

LIAM: No. We almost did that. Correct, DM? That's what we almost did, but we didn't do it. You offered it.

MATT: Correct. You backed out last minute when you realized there was, apparently, hidden platinum--

LIAM: I would be interested-- Gilmore? I really just need a quick favor, and I mean to pay you back quickly. I need a dagger for something. Not your best dagger. Not your shittiest dagger, either. I just need something nice. How much would a fine dagger cost? Something that would be good in a fight. And could I pay you back in a couple of days, once Tiberius returns from Kraghammer?

MATT: "If you want something functional, there are masterwork daggers out there. We do have base-level enchantments that give you a fine, honed edge and a balance that cannot be beaten for its price range. For that, I can easily give you one of our base-level enchanted items for no more than, friend discount included, 400 gold pieces."

TALIESIN: That's a pretty good deal.

LIAM: Can I please purchase three of those?

MATT: "You may!"

LIAM: Done.

MATT: "All right! I'll get these right now!" He stands up, and now that there's some sort of business involved, he's completely renovated and recharged. He comes through the beaded curtain again. You guys see Gilmore burst out, like, (laughs) "We're in business!" And he goes into the next room, and back up the stairs, and takes a few moments. He comes back down with an armful of these daggers, and sets them down on the counter. "Three for you! That'll be 1,200 gold pieces, please."

LIAM: I reach out and I give his cheek a little bubby-squeeze, and I clap him on the cheek, and say, I'm good on my word, and you're a good friend. Thank you, Gilmore.

MATT: "The least I could do. Pay me back. I'll find you."

LIAM: I know you're good on your word.

MATT: "Indeed."

LIAM: Keyleth? Scanlan?

SAM: Oh, yes! How'd it go in there? You're walking straight, so it couldn't have gone too well.

LIAM: Very good. Warm in here.

TALIESIN: That dagger's so sharp, it could cut the sexual tension.

ORION: Those are masterwork daggers?

MATT: They are plus-one enchanted daggers, yes.

SAM: Well, let's get out of here and go. Did you find us any--?

LIAM: I'm good. No, everything's good here. Just not everywhere else.

SAM: Let's get out of here, go back to the keep.

MATT: At this point, now, Tiberius, you have coasted over the air, and as you come careening in, you hear (swishing sounds) and look down. Two crossbow bolts whiz past you.

ORION: It's me, you idiots!

MATT: At which you hear immediately, "Oh, sorry!" "Sorry! We're not used to having you bolt in from the skyline."

ORION: I'm in a hurry, sorry! (whoosh)

MATT: As you sweep past Shayne and Cordell, they both change their bolts, and they're both arguing with each other, like, "You should've seen it was him!" "Sorry." "Sorry, again!" You make your way into the courtyard, inside Greyskull Keep.

TRAVIS: Why'd you miss?

ORION: I go into, I rush in to find him eating. (stammers) Quickly, quickly! And I go into the Bag of Holding and I take the item out that we need. What was it?

TRAVIS: Well, we have a bunch of stuff.

MATT: You're not with him, there.

LAURA: I walk into the room to see Tiberius throwing things out of the Bag of Holding, I'm assuming.

ORION: I can't, because I have to visualize what it is to pull it out.

TRAVIS: Yeah, what are you looking for?

LIAM: I'm using my earring on the walk home. Does it work? I don't know what the range is. Tiberius, can you hear me? Tibs?

MATT: You're pretty out of range at this point.

TRAVIS: What are you looking for, Tiberius?

ORION: I've taken my hand out. When we were in the Underdark and one of the items that we procured while we were scavenging, and we looted it, and we could give it back to the Thunderbrand.

TRAVIS: Oh! Pieces of the enemy? We get paid for it.

LAURA: But there were artifacts that they wanted. I remember.

MARISHA: They wanted a necklace, right?

ORION: Yes. And we found one or two of them.

MARISHA: Found a necklace, who was supposed to go-- hang on, I'm finding it, I'm looking.

TRAVIS: I've got two gold necklaces, two gold chalices, and two rubies.

MATT: It was actually a magical item, one that you may have equipped. It'll say in the description of the item that it has an inscription on the back.

ORION: I don't have it.

TRAVIS: I don't have that shit.

SAM: Whoa, what? It was a necklace we're talking about?

MATT: Protection of some kind, if I recall. Amulet.

LAURA: Oh, I don't have that. (gasps) Oh no! What if we gave it to Kima?

ORION: We didn't give it to them.

LAURA: But Kima took some armor we found!

SAM: "Amulet of Natural Armor?"

MATT: Look in the description of the item. It should say underneath the name. It'll have the actual inscription written in the descriptor of the item.

TRAVIS: Everybody look at your stuff. I look inside my Belt of Dwarvenkind, and it says "Badass."

MARISHA: It's a sapphire pendant that should say, "To Lorna, my love."

LAURA: (gasps) Oh!

ORION: That's what I reach in and grab. There you go! Keyleth. I mean, your highness. I like your hair.

MARISHA: Thank you!

ORION: It looks cool.

MARISHA: Thanks!

MATT: It is enchanted.

MARISHA: It's not the one you're wearing, right, Scanlan?

LAURA: No, I remember we found it and nobody equipped it.

TRAVIS: I had it in the bag, yeah.

ORION: I take it out, and I put it in mine. Grog, I'm finding out a way, as soon as I can show this to you, fellow. I'm going to go into Kraghammer very, very fast as opposed to slowly, and it is, so we should leave right now.

LAURA: Can I go with you?

ORION: Yeah, and I'll cast-- because, who was around, just them two?

MATT: Just those two.

ORION: I cast Fly again at 3rd or 4th level, to cast on them.

TRAVIS: I don't want to go!

MATT: Now, all of a sudden, you're (whoosh) lifted up in the air.

ORION: Yes, but we get there much faster if we fly. And I go.

LAURA: And I take off after him!

TRAVIS: What if I want to stay?

ORION: You can stay.

TRAVIS: But I'm fucking floating above my meal! No! This is bullshit. And I'm bouncing off the ceiling and shit. Can I control myself?

MATT: You can. It takes a moment to adjust to it.

TRAVIS: I just start trying to swim down to my plate.

MATT: It takes you a little bit, but you do eventually get control of it.

TRAVIS: (eating noises) This isn't so bad. (farting noise)

MATT: Propulsion does work.

LAURA: As we're flying, can I keep an eye out for our party members that are returning?

MATT: Yep. And as you guys coast over, you see, leaving the exterior wall gate to the south side of Emon, you see the rest of your party walking back towards the keep.

LAURA: That means we're close enough. Brother!

LIAM: Hello?

LAURA: We're heading to the portal, Tiberius is working on something. We can get there faster! I'll be back soon.

LIAM: Oh, all right. Gilmore has an in: he said we just need to mention his name and we're through. We can send Tiberius through.

LAURA: Brilliant!

ORION: Ooh, that gives me a wonderful idea! And then, I'll cast it at 4th level again, and I'll go (pew-pew!) and cast it on--

MARISHA: Just because I think it's funny-- Grog is flying over too, right?

TRAVIS: I'm in that kitchen, floating around, farting and eating food. Look, I've got priorities.

MARISHA: Okay, well, I see you guys are flying? The two of you?

MATT: So you fly down and cast Fly on the rest of them?

ORION: Right. Come on, follow me!

LIAM: Holy shit, I've never flown before! This is amazing!

SAM: I'm flying, too? What's happening?

MATT: You guys are now floating. You guys are floating, as well. You're coasting over Emon for roughly 12 or so seconds before Grog, you drop to the ground, and now Tiberius and Vex, you begin to plummet.

LAURA: Why are we plummeting?

MATT: Fly is a concentration spell. You cast it again. Your amulet keeps it up for two rounds, which is 12 seconds, and then the previous Fly spell deteriorates.

ORION: What about my circlet?

MATT: That's what I'm saying. The circlet lets you maintain concentration for two additional rounds.

LAURA: Oh, okay! Tiberius, I'm falling!

ORION: I cast Fly again at 6th-level on everybody else.

SAM: I start falling.

ORION: No, because I can catch everybody.

MATT: At that point, now all of you guys are flying.

ORION: You fall in the kitchen, though.

TRAVIS: Well, that makes sense.

LIAM: Is this going to stick, Tiberius?

ORION: Yes. It's the same spell. I just really need a nap after this. I really need a nap after this. I go back to gather them all.

MATT: You make your way. Now, all of you following Tiberius, you coast down to the Alabaster Lyceum, landing right through the front area (whoosh), this whole party appears. Catch your feet, and there you see the same clerk looking up. "Ah, I see you've returned."

ORION: Yes. Can we not talk to the middle guy first? Can we go right to the last guy?

MATT: "Down that hallway. Follow it to the very end."

ORION: Thank you very much.

MATT: "You're welcome."

ORION: Follow me, everybody!

MATT: You all glide through the hallway, or walk, if you prefer. The end of the hallway, you open once again into the office, and there you see behind his desk once again, the headmaster Thurmond, who looks around. "Oh, yes. You've returned. I received the note from your friend Gilmore, and you're welcome to utilize one of our sigils."

ORION: Wonderful. That makes me quite happy.

MATT: "To Kraghammer, was it?"

ORION: Yes, but I do not want to use that favor for that sigil. I would like to call our friends, and I brought the item. I bring out the amulet. I want to show our friends in Kraghammer that we actually brought them the thing to get their permission to go on their sigil, and the other continent that we were on is called what?

LAURA: Vasselheim?

ORION: Yes. The favor I would like for Gilmore is to get the Vasselheim sigil, please. But let's contact our friends at Kraghammer first.

MATT: "Two notes. There is no sigil in Vasselheim. They have been outlawed and destroyed to prevent arcane intrusion or subterfuge. There have been, historically, many a war's passed in which Vasselheim nearly fell to the sudden appearance of small armies within its walls, and as such, many of these sigils, all of them have been destroyed over the past 1,000 years. However, it was the third war--" And he's going into a long diatribe about the history of Vasselheim.

LAURA: You are so educated. Perhaps we could talk later about all of this wonderful history.

MATT: "Certainly. Yes, I'm sorry. The mirror." He pulls up the mirror, pulls out his chest, brings out the same marble again, pops it into the mirror. It shimmers. "Hello? Hello?" You hear another voice say, "Oh, are you kidding me? Really? You again? All right, what are you bothering me with?"

ORION: Using my Mage Hand, I'm like, it's one of the things that you wanted us to get.

LAURA: Who are you talking to?

ORION: I can see it. It's fine.

MATT: "What's it say? I can't read it from here. Read it out for me."

ORION: What does it say, Keyleth?

MARISHA: To Lorna, with love. It's written right there, Tiberius.

ORION: Oh, sorry. To Lorna, with love.

MATT: At which point, you see the eyes of this dwarf that were very untrusting open wide for a second. "All right. Give him the sigil. Send him through. I'll see you soon." The mirror gives out again.

LAURA: Oh, all of us?

MATT: No, the headmaster takes the mirror and puts it down. He points back to the clerk who's in the hallway behind you again, waiting, and says, "Go ahead and bring them to the Junction. Allow them access to the sigil for House Thunderbrand in Kraghammer." He nods. "Of course."

ORION: As he's doing this, I'm writing the sigil that I'm seeing forming in my--

MATT: He leads you to the Junction, and there is one of the doors he opens up on the inside, there is the actual sigil to Kraghammer there. He gives you some time to study it, you memorize it, you get it locked in, and you now permanently know the sigil of teleportation to Kraghammer within the House Thunderbrand.

ORION: Shall we go collect our money now?

SAM and LAURA: Yes.

LIAM: We're all going? All of us?

MARISHA: Well, I guess just the five of us, cause Grog and Percy are back at the Keep.

SAM: Would you rather just send Tiberius, then?

LAURA: No, we should go.

MARISHA: I can go back and check in on them.

ORION: Everybody's here but Grog.

TALIESIN: And me.

ORION: Wait, where are you? Oh, you're working. Tinkering.

LIAM: I have an errand to run.

MARISHA: You have an errand to run? All right, I'll go with Vax--

LAURA: It's the three of us, me and you and--

ORION: Okay. Thunderbrands are buttholes, though.

SAM: That's all right. That's why we're taking the heaviest hitters.

MARISHA: Wait. We'll address that later. Come on, Vax.

LAURA: Persuasion-wise.

MATT: So you guys head back to the Keep, you meet up with Grog and Percy, what about you guys? What're you doing? For, Tiberius, Scanlan, and Vex.

LAURA: We go through.

MATT: Well, it's just the sigil. You have to cast the spell.

LAURA and SAM: Oh.

ORION: Yeah. Is that what you want to do? Is that what's going on?

SAM: It's a spell?

ORION: Oh, shit. No, actually, I need to sleep. All that flying left me a bit exhausted.

LAURA: Oh my god.

LIAM: Sorcerers, they improvise.

LAURA: Wait, you're saying that we cannot go through?

ORION: Well, hold on. Maybe there's a way I could trigger the spell?

SAM: Let's go home and go to sleep.

ORION: Let's get a drink, maybe? It's only been a day.

MARISHA: You can cast that sigil anywhere, right? You don't have to be here? We could do it from home.

LAURA: Then let's just fucking go home.

ORION: What time of the day is this? It's still afternoonish, right?

MATT: At this point in time, with all the travel back and forth, it's getting close to dusk.

ORION: Great.

MARISHA: We'll take a nap and we'll go tomorrow. It's getting late, the Thunderbrands are probably going to bed at this point. We don't want to invade. They're probably just sitting down for dinner.

SAM: They live in the Underdark. There's no real time there.

ORION: My swallow's been crafted at the other place, right? Has that happened already?

MATT: Yeah, it's been crafted for you, yeah. It's not a swallow. It's a quarterstaff with knives attached.

ORION: I'm calling it swallow. On the way back, because we're obviously going to leave in the morning, to do stuff. I'd like to quickly stop at any blacksmith I see on the way back to Greyskull Keep.

MATT: Okay. Yeah, there are a couple blacksmiths that you know about on the way through.

ORION: Okay. I go to the good one, not the bad one, per reputation.

MATT: Best reputation is Karin, but she's a specialist. She's the one that made Trinket's--

LAURA: Yeah, Karin!

ORION: I'll go to her, because she's awesome.

MATT: All right. You go on and approach there. She's currently working away on some custom piece that she's currently working on. She's like, "Hello, can I help you, dragonborn?"

ORION: Yes, I'm Tiberius Stormwind from Draconia; moreover, from Vox Machina--

MATT: "What can I help you with?"

ORION: Oh. Sorry, right. We've done business before. I would like to commission you. And as I'm doing this I'm taking out five of my daggers that I have, and I'm going to hand them to her. I would like to commission you to somehow craft these daggers into a type of bended glaive, if you would. I don't know how long it would take you to do so.

MATT: "What?"

ORION: You see, it's like, it would look like this, but it's--

SAM: Krull?

ORION: Yeah, totally, but the blades are bended, but they're all connected in the center. You could use an iron, or a steel ingot to connect the--

MATT: "I can certainly try, yeah, aye."

ORION: Wonderful!

MATT: "All right. It would take me about two days? And you've already supplied the material, other than a bit of the side bits. I'll say I'll charge you 100 gold pieces."

ORION: 100 gold pieces?

MATT: "Aye, I'm a specialist!"

SAM: You went to the good one.

ORION: What, that's all? I mean, oh yes, of course. Here's 120.

MATT: "Certainly. Thank you. All right, it should be done within the next two days. You're free to come by and check on it if you like, but it'll be done."

ORION: I trust your work. Trinket's armor was fantastic.

MATT: "Huh?"

ORION: Did she do that? I thought that was the same character.

LAURA: This is Karin.

SAM: She just thought bear. She just knows bear.

ORION: Bear's armor. The bear's armor was--

MATT: "Oh! You're friends with that one? She was real nice. That bear was adorable. Happy to help with that one."

ORION: His name is Trinket.

MATT: "Oh, is that what it was?"

ORION: I'm surprised she didn't tell you. It's an adorable name.

MATT: "Probably had. It's just been a while."

ORION: This is Lockheed.

MATT: "Oh, you're so cute, Lockheed." You guys talk for a little bit and eventually make your way back.

ORION: I do business with her, and I go back to the keep.

SAM: Are we still waiting for him outside?

MATT: Yeah, you guys are right outside.

SAM: When he comes out, I cast Minor Illusion to make it look like I have a long gray beard.

(laughter)

SAM: Can we go home now, please, Tiberius?

ORION: Yes. Sorry.

SAM: Any other stops you'd like to make? The dry-cleaners, perhaps?

ORION: Prestidigitation.

SAM: Oh, that's great. Now let's go night-night so you can cast a spell on us.

MATT: All right, you guys head back to the keep.

LIAM: While they're doing that, I stealth away from the group.

MARISHA: Can I do a passive perception check to see if I notice him sneaking away?

ORION: I would like to fart. Natural 20!

SAM: It's a huge fart.

MATT: Go ahead and roll perception.

LIAM: I rolled a 32.

MARISHA: Perception or passive perception?

MATT: For this, because it's not active? It would be your passive.

MARISHA: Then that is 24.

MATT: Vax has vanished. While you might have noticed, instead the explosion-like eruption of gas from your dragonborn friend distracted you and gave him the proper getaway. You vanish.

LIAM: Yeah, I'm totally down an alleyway, through the alley, onto another main thoroughfare. I grab a random person on the street. Excuse me, I'm looking for a specific butcher. Harold the butcher. Do you know? I think he's in the upper slums. Can you point me toward him?

MATT: The individual you stopped is a younger gentleman, probably in his mid-20s or so, a bit dirty in the face and coming from a day of work, going to the local tavern to finish his eve with some drinks. "I can't say I do. I mean, there are butchers all over town. There's one--"

LIAM: Where's the upper slums? Upper slums, please.

MATT: "Oh, that would be north side of Emon. That way." He points you towards the--

LIAM: I don't even say anything else. I just walk. I don't know how long that will take me.

MATT: It will take you about, from where you are right now, 30 minutes. All right, so you guys get back to the keep. Grog has eaten his fill.

TRAVIS: I'm asleep on the table.

MATT: Yeah. Passed out. Percy's nowhere to be seen. You, I would like for you to make a tinkering roll in relation to the construction of ammunition.

TALIESIN: Ten.

MATT: Ten? You manage to, utilizing material for 20 bullets, only craft ten. But you get ten bullets out of it, as opposed to wasting the materials.

ORION: Is it possible to, before I go to sleep, I have a basic poison potion I've been hoarding. Could I try to dip the tip of one of my bolts in that?

MATT: You can certainly try. There's a difference between poison and disease. They're different. The potion seems to have no effect.

ORION: On bolts?

MATT: It doesn't have any effect.

TALIESIN: How many batches of bullets are you going to let me attempt to make?

MATT: For the day, that's what you spent making. Tomorrow, we'll get to whatever it is you want to craft then. You go off and manage to make your way to the upper slums.

LIAM: Yes. I see a stunted old woman and stop her on the street and say, Grandmother. I'm looking for Harold the butcher. Do you know where I can find him?

MATT: "Best I can gather, he'd be around that way." She points you, and the breath is awful. She's missing teeth, but her crooked finger curves off to the side, and you can see across the way, next to a homestead or hovel, there is a very humble-looking butcher that is currently in the process of closing shop.

LIAM: I'd like to go stealth. I rolled a 20.

MATT: All right. You make your way up there. You can see there's an older gentleman in his mid-40s or so, salt-and-pepper hair, black with a bit of gray on the sides, is currently in the process of closing up.

LIAM: Do I see Kynan anywhere? No? And it's a home? It's a business and a home?

MATT: It's hard to tell. It looks like a business from this perspective.

LIAM: Okay, I'd like to go around the back of the building and scope it out.

MATT: You look through the windows. There's a dull light on the inside from what looks like a small hooded lantern set up for a bit of interior light, but there's nobody else in the house.

LIAM: There's nobody in? I'd like to, at the window, listen and use perception to see if I can tell if anyone's inside.

MATT: You listen for a while. Make a perception roll.

LIAM: Yeah, that's 25.

MATT: All right. As you continue to listen, eventually you hear the slamming of wood. You look off, and through the bit of the glass window-- you're peeking from the side-- you see the same gentleman who was closing the shop enter the room where the hooded lantern is. There's a table. He sits down quietly for a second, looks at the lamp, starts cleaning his fingernails a little bit, gives a big sigh, and turns off the light of the lantern and exits the room, closing the door behind him.

LIAM: Is it one floor, the building?

MATT: It's one floor.

LIAM: It's one floor. Is the window locked?

MATT: You checked the window. It's not locked.

LIAM: All right, I'm climbing in.

MATT: You slip in without a problem. You've done this many times before.

LIAM: It's a family residence where Kynan lives. Are there bedrooms?

MATT: It's hard to tell, looking around the room here. There are three doors that exit. One that he came through, which is apparently from the front of the butcher shop. This appears to be a central room that connects to wherever else he walked. There are two other doors.

LIAM: They're not trapped, are they?

MATT: They're not trapped.

LIAM: So I'm going to crouch down and push open the first door. What do I see?

MATT: The door immediately right or the door in front of you? The door in front of you is the one that the man traveled through.

LIAM: Oh, no. Not that one. There were two other doors, weren't there?

MATT: There's the door that he came in from when he sat down, and then he left through the door across the way from you, and there is a door that been unopened.

LIAM: There's one other door? That's the one.

MATT: Okay. You push open the door very quietly. It makes a little creaking sound, but you stop. Peering inside, it's dark. There appears to be a bed. There's a small table. There's what looks like an old pair of boots that are worn out on the side. It looks like a bedroom that nobody's currently in.

LIAM: And there's no sign that this is a youth's bedroom or father's bedroom? What can I glean from what I see in here?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

LIAM: I'm going to use Luck. That's better. 22.

MATT: Okay. You take a little bit of time in peering over the materials, looking at the bed size, looking at the boot size, looking at whatever you can nearby. This bed is definitely weathered. It's been used for a long time. There are a couple of small knick-knacks and toys that are discarded underneath that have been there for a while that lead you to believe that this was at one point a boy's room. However, what you do notice is that most of the materials, most of the belongings, anything that you would normally see in a boy's room, anything that would say that a person lives here seem to have been hastily grabbed and taken off.

LIAM: And the father went out the other way? All right, so I creep back out the window and I go out the front and I knock really loud on the front door.

MATT: A couple moments later, a voice comes from the other side. "Hello?"

LIAM: Hello. I'm sorry, I don't mean to bother you. I know you've closed up shop.

MATT: "I'm done for business for the day. Come back tomorrow."

LIAM: I'm actually not looking to buy anything. I owe your son a bit of money. I lost some money in a wager we made on a dog fight, and I was hoping to reimburse him. Do you know where he is?

MATT: The door opens a little bit, and an eye peeks through. You gather there's a slight scent of alcohol from the other side as he starts talking. He says, "I don't know where my son's gone off to. He came in in a huff. We got in an argument. He grabbed his stuff and left. He does this every now and then. He'll be back."

LIAM: You think he'll be back?

MATT: "This isn't the first time he's done this."

LIAM: I want to leave something with you.

MATT: "You said it was money you owed him?"

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: "I can give that to him."

LIAM: I take 50 gold of what I have left and I leave it with him, and I take out three daggers. I can hear my sister's voice in the back of my head. I want to use insight on him to make sure he's trustworthy. Oh, that's good. That's 20.

MATT: Okay. There's something about his face that gives you the feeling that he's more interested in the contents of what you're leaving than actually transferring these to the intended recipient.

LIAM: Just give him the 50 gold. Thank you. And I leave.

MATT: Okay. Closes the door behind you, you hear a lock. Light goes back out in the room.

SAM: Go in there and kill him. Kill him, shit on his bed, and leave.

LIAM: I head back to the keep.

MATT: Okay. All right, eventually Vax finds his way back to the keep. The rest of you are there, at rest for the evening. Is there anything else you want to accomplish before the night's out?

MARISHA: I just flipped through my book on the alchemy section for a bit.

MATT: All right. You all find yourself to bed for the evening, rest up for the next morning, and at that point we're going to go ahead and take our break. Five minutes, guys, a strict five minutes because we still have a lot to get through. A lot to get through tonight, don't want to stay late.

LIAM: Another nine hours.

MATT: No. See you guys in about five minutes, quick restroom break. We'll be right back.

Break

[break]

Part II

MATT: Welcome back, from our very strict, very strict five-minute break. We're very good at that. Yeah. That's right. Couple quick things. First off, we just hit 7,500 subscribers!

(cheering)

MATT: That's amazing for many reasons. But all of you who are currently watching, be active in the chatroom so you can be included in the next giveaway we're doing. Giveaway's going to include a signed picture of the cast, a signed poster by the cast of the amazing art of our fantastic artist, Kit Buss.

TALIESIN: Maybe signed by Kit.

SAM: She's amazing.

MATT: Yeah. So please be active in the chatroom, be part of that giveaway when it gets put out, and thank you guys so much for being so amazing and getting us to that point that's--

LIAM: Yeah! You 7,500 people, fucking thank you, man. Thank you.

TRAVIS: But only you 7,500. The rest can fuck off.

MATT: That was in character. All right, cool. Let's get back and see if we can, see if we can roll through some of this stuff. As you wake the next morning, you guys awaken to the dull sound of metal clanging as Percy has already been the first to wake and is back in the workshop. Tiberius, you're well-rested. Everyone's spells have returned. You get to make a beard roll.

TRAVIS: Beard check, please! Three. Five.

MATT: 35? What? Bundlesofkittens, by the way, won. Congratulations to bundlesofkittens. Going to get prizes.

LAURA: Adorable.

MATT: 35% does count. As you wake up, you reach up and feel the return of a nice hefty bit of scruff to your chin. Yeah, it's getting pretty thick now. It's a good, like, half an inch to an inch length. And you're starting to get a little, you notice the first time you grew some facial hair it was coming through that weird, creepy translucent color? It's starting to come through with a proper, almost a dark red-brown color to it.

TRAVIS: What?

MARISHA: Got a little bit of the Irish thing going on.

TRAVIS: I don't know, I might have to get a cage; the women are going to come running.

MATT: So as you all gather for breakfast, you get your fill, a fine breakfast awaits you, already prepared by your servants of the Greyskull Keep. What do you wish to do?

TRAVIS: Good morning, Vox Machina. Lovely to see all of you.

MARISHA: So Grog, you fell asleep in your plate of food and woke up with a beard.

TRAVIS: I know. Some guys are just lucky.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Have we checked to make sure it's not a stain?

TRAVIS: Hey, fuck off with your stinging, burning shit, all right? I'm not putting anything else in water. I don't know if you know, Scanlan, but water burns.

LAURA: Good job, Percy, now he's never going to bathe.

TALIESIN: You may have taken the wrong lesson away from that.

TRAVIS: No, I pretty much got it. In, burn, ouch, powder.

ORION: You're not a chinchilla, Grog, which is a small creature that bathes itself in dust. But you are a human, which water is good.

TRAVIS: I'm not a human.

ORION: Well, you are a humanoid. Which is, water is good. Which, most of you is water.

TRAVIS: (gasps) You always drink water when we drink. Does it burn?

ORION: No, it feels rather--

SAM: Let's get going.

TALIESIN: He does breathe fire.

ORION: I'm feeding Lockheed some of my breakfast.

MATT: Certainly. Lockheed enjoys the breakfast. Lockheed is looking healthier. The color is a little more of a deep emerald green, and he appears to have a little more energy this morning.

SAM: Does it shit on your shoulder?

MATT: He hasn't noticed, but there is a slight streak of dried pseudo-dragon poo. You're not aware of it to cast that yet.

TALIESIN: Methinks the DM doth speak from experience.

MATT: As a bird owner, he does.

ORION: I'm going to, I rolled, I'm going to do a roll for the day, I think I rolled one for the day, and I'm going to go: Staht. Staht. And I'm going to, I rolled a 14 to try to teach it to sit. Staht.

MATT: (lizard noises) It sits down on the edge of the table.

ORION: And I give it a treat. Krar, Krar, there you go.

MATT: Bites your finger.

ORION: As it's hanging, I put it on my shoulder.

MATT: (lizard noises) It sits there.

MARISHA: They get nippy. It's in the breed.

MATT: So! What do you want to do?

SAM: We want to get out of here. Cast the thing. Let's go.

ORION: As I'm having my oatmeal and such, I start to cast.

MARISHA: I still think maybe the more talkative members of the group should go?

SAM: Still want to split the party?

TALIESIN: I'm staying home, anyway

MARISHA: I'm checking in with Tiberius-- oh sorry, Percy.

MATT: At which point the teleportation sigil appears in the center of the floor the way Tiberius had prepared it. It's glowing right now.

TRAVIS: I've got the creature bits so I should go, too.

LAURA: You! Take care of my bear, I'm leaving him here with you.

LIAM: All right. I got him.

LAURA: Oh, Trinket! I love you so.

MATT: Trinket comes up and like rubs his nose against your coat.

LAURA: Behave, all right?

LIAM: I'm going to feed you so much chocolate.

LAURA: That's really bad for him! Don't!

MARISHA: It'll be fine.

MATT: The sigil's starting to spark--

SAM: I jump in.

TRAVIS: I jump in, too.

MATT: Okay, so all of you who are going, you leap in. You're staying and you're staying, correct? And you're staying. All right, Keyleth, Percy and Vax. All of you guys step in and all of a sudden there's a familiar whoosh of some sort of dark transference, you feel as if gravity for a moment doesn't exist and your feet find purchase on some sort of a wooden floor. The room is dark. You glance about the immediate vicinity, and for those of you who have low light, there's very little you can actually make out other than the fact this is a basement of some kind, and you are amidst a bunch of sheet covered crates.

ORION: Light! (whoosh)

MATT: As the light fills the room, you look around.

ORION: I cast it on Lockheed. On his tail.

MATT: All right! Lockheed begins trying to shake the light off the tail, so it moves around a little bit.

ORION: Oh, Bensvelk! That means "good" in Draconian. Bensvelk. And I feed him a treat.

MATT: (chuckles) All right! You look around the room, there are about six or seven of these crates immediately visible to you. They have sheets put over them, they're different sizes, some sort of storage room. There is a staircase that leads to the floor above.

LAURA: Wait. Do they know we're coming? We're just in the middle of their home now?

ORION: Yes, of course, Vex, they know we're coming. I showed them the amulet, it was how we got the sigil to come here to begin with. It's fine. We're doing business with them. It'll be good.

LAURA: Can I perception and make sure there's no traps around us? Just to make sure. We're just popping in, and this is a magic house, am I right? So I can't check for traps worth shit.

MATT: Room looks safe!

LAURA: Great. Good. Great.

TRAVIS: Well, good. Let's get out of here.

MATT: All right. You guys make your way to the second floor. As you step up to the top you can see there is light emanating from the top of the staircase and a figure moves into the staircase. A stout dwarven figure. This is the same individual you spoke to previously. The dwarf steps to the top and says, with an air of annoyance to the voice. "All right. Waited up all night for you to arrive, and you never did. And you come here and interrupt my breakfast."

ORION: I'm sorry. We thought you would like a night's sleep before we intrude and--

MATT: "It's fine, step up the stairs, please." and he steps out of the way, leads you into the central chamber. This house is unfamiliar to all but Scanlan, who turned invisible suddenly and decided to wander in briefly.

SAM: Yes, I did. My old stomping grounds.

MATT: The classic "I don't know!" Looking about it's very well-kept. It's an old house; the ceilings are taller than you expect for a dwarf type home. A lot of the ceilings are a little low especially for you Grog, this one's built roomy. There's actually a lot of cultivated cave plant life, a lot of boxes that contain various underground dwelling plants and other such funguses. The air itself is mixtures of sweet and pungent. Mixed almost as if there's a spice garden somewhere, and you're not really able to take a beat on what the actual interior would smell like, it keeps changing around you. You're brought to the main foyer area, and the dwarf turns back and he says "All right, you've made your transference. Where's the amulet?"

ORION: I'll open the Bag of Holding. And I'll take it out. Before I actually go over and speak, I'm going to turn to Scanlan and Vex. Is he the same person who pays us for the other--

LAURA: No. I should probably go find that guy. Or we can go all together.

ORION: I just didn't want to say the wrong thing this time.

SAM: Sure, don't worry. You will.

ORION: Oh, sorry. Here is the amulet. And I show him. Now, as far as trade, as it was rather taxing to procure this particular artifact--

LAURA: Incredibly difficult, he means to say.

ORION: Yes, she's correct. I was wondering if we could, perchance, trade it for a favor of your arcane ability?

MATT: "It's funny, because I already did. I gave you a permanent entry to my own household, my family's household, by offering you this sigil, that gave you entrance to the interior of our well-guarded estate. That was a trade enough. That was what we agreed upon through the mirror."

ORION: That was just to get me here quicker, I thought.

MATT: "So you come into my home and try to extort me?"

ORION: No, not at all! Here's what happened, see. We were on an adventure-- I pull out the carpet out of my Bag of Holding. And this carpet was enchanted once with the ability to fly, and it helped us many times in many adventures. It was de-chanted, I guess, if you want to say it. And we need it re-chanted. And I thought that House Thunderbrand would be a strong enough house to have the ability to do such a thing. Maybe not as it seems. And I hand him the amulet as I'm saying this.

MATT: He takes the amulet.

ORION: And not as a trade, but as a favor for just the effort, or maybe because I'm not strong enough as a sorcerer myself to do it.

MATT: Make a persuasion roll.

LAURA: People speak very, very highly of your abilities. Can I assist him?

MATT: It's not going to matter. You keep talking, and as you're explaining this, he's not even paying attention to you. The dwarf is staring at the amulet, looking at the back of it where the inscription is. And you swear for a minute, you see what looks like a tear, gathering in the corner of the eye of the dwarf, who then reaches up and wipes it from the corner and takes the amulet and puts it in the pocket and says, "My apologies. Thank you for returning this. You were talking about the carpet, right?"

LAURA and ORION: Yes.

MATT: "You want it to be enchanted?"

LAURA: Well, we've heard very wonderful things about your abilities and not many people can do such a feat.

MATT: "We have done a carpet before. Only one. It's very possible."

LAURA: Did it look anything like this one?

MATT: "Not this pattern, no, that one was more of a blue. I mean this can be enchanted, but the materials and the time put into it-- It's a very pricey endeavor. A carpet of this size, especially."

SAM: How much?

MATT: "We're looking at the better part of a year to enchant this and that'll cost you about, time included, that'll cost 50,000 gold pieces."

LAURA: Oh my god! I throw my hands up. I just can't. I just can't! How did we not? Oh my god.

SAM: She's very fond of the carpet.

TRAVIS: I put my arm around Vex and try and console her.

LAURA: 50? A year! Why?! Thank you so much.

MATT: "Well I mean, there might be smaller ones you might be able to find elsewhere."

LAURA: No, I know it's a really beautiful carpet, and it would cost a lot of money to fix up, I understand.

SAM: She loves the hand-woven carpets. It's just very tragic.

MATT: "All right, well--"

TRAVIS: Shall we go get our money now?

SAM: Yes, who's the man we need to see about that?

LAURA: Oh, that's the Kraghammer-- We go to see--

LIAM: Johnny Kraghammer?

LAURA: Johnny Kraghammer.

SAM: Nostoc Greyspine?

LAURA: It was Greyspine.

MATT: Nostoc Greyspine. You're escorted out of the House Thunderbrand. Make your way down to the quarry, at the very bottom level of Kraghammer, once again. It's been a long time since you've been in this portion of the world, let alone this city, where you started this leg of your entire journey. You do make your way down into this area to Lord Nostoc Greyspine's proper office, the one where you managed to procure his expensive wine and make this venture the very beginning. You step into the familiar halls. As soon as you enter, you have a brief discussion with the guy at the front, who recognizes you and leads you into the office. There, waiting, behind his desk is Nostoc, who's currently in the process of looking out the window over the entire quarry of his mine. He turns over his shoulder, looking at the rest of you. "Well, I'm surprised to see you all alive. Just assumed you'd all got yourselves killed, like the usual bumpkins who come wandering this far down in the mountain."

LAURA: No. We did not die. We, in fact, succeeded in taking care of those creatures. Under-- dark-- carpet.

SAM: She's-- That time of the month.

LAURA: Oh! Excuse me. We came to collect the money you owed us for completing the mission you sent us on.

MATT: "Ah yes, of course. Of course. Understood. What was the price we had agreed for that one?"

LAURA: Oh, it was 30,000 gold, plus all the extras for the scalps that we acquired.

TRAVIS: I open the bag of holding and go, Here, here's one brain chunk. And I dump it on the floor.

MATT: As a note, I'm pretty sure at practically no point in your adventure to the Underdark did you ever say you were scalping a creature.

LIAM: We're above base--

MARISHA: We totally forgot about that.

MATT: You completely, in the entirety of that adventure, didn't collect a single scalp from anything you killed.

TRAVIS: I thought I grabbed the brain chunk. I thought I grabbed an arm, too. There was just an arm from the stitched guy, and I just grabbed it.

LIAM: An arm is not a scalp. It's this.

MATT: Nostoc also looks at you and goes, "And while I respect your memory, a dwarf's mind is like a trap that you can't escape. I believe the agreed upon price was 25,000 gold pieces."

LAURA: Oh it was? That is so weird, I remember 30.

MATT: "I don't even know what you fought. If you're going to collect your money, tell me what the hell you freaking killed."

LAURA: Mind flayers! A beholder! Have you heard of a beholder?

MATT: "You fought a beholder?"

LAURA: We fought a fucking beholder.

MATT: "Really? And you're all still alive?"

SAM: Well no, not all of us. If you'll recall there were more of us when we came down here. And some of us aren't here because they died.

TRAVIS: I start pretending to cry.

MATT: Make a deception check.

LAURA: That's really good.

SAM: 21.

LAURA: I start thinking about the carpet and I really do start crying.

SAM: So before you berate us, know that we are mourning the loss of two of our members. And a bear!

LAURA: (sobbing) And my bear!

MATT: "Beholder, you say?"

LAURA: It was really big.

MATT: "What else did you encounter?"

LAURA: Illithid. An Elder Brain.

SAM: Lots of illithid. A whole city of illithid.

MATT: "A whole city of illithid?"

LAURA: We destroyed half of an elder brain-- Part of an elder brain.

TRAVIS: And there were all these dark, um, dark-

LAURA: Dwarves! There were dark dwarves. Duergar.

SAM: They were mind controlled. It was crazy, we're not just making this up. It really happened.

ORION: This is all very, very true.

TRAVIS: There were these wrinkled testicles that were walking around on feet.

LAURA: He almost died! Just from this one little brain.

TRAVIS: Strange thing. If you're stupid, and it looks at you with its wrinkled testicle face? You go unconscious.

MATT: "I know the creatures you speak of. I've dealt with my share of duergar, though--"

ORION: I completely stayed away from it, because I was terrified.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LIAM: (singing) Roll high! Loo-loo-loo-loo!

LAURA: Are we all rolling? Because we're all talking.

MATT: You were spearheading that part of the group.

LAURA: I was? I thought Scanlan was.

MATT: Scanlan already made his roll.

TRAVIS: What about giving her advantage because I was talking about testicles?

MATT: No testicle advantage on that roll. I'm sorry.

LIAM: In what circumstance would testicle advantage come into play?

SAM: At Gilmore's.

LAURA: That would be 11.

MATT: 11? "Looking at your number, I can see that you've certainly encountered some dangerous things in your travels, taken some losses. And I will say, since you've left, we haven't had at least one excursion interrupting our mine, which has been very helpful. The fact that you've returned with these tales-- I believe most of it. I'd say, given that circumstance, I'd be happy to pay you up to 18,000 gold pieces."

SAM: I am going to cast Suggestion on him.

LAURA: 18,000 gold in addition to the--

TRAVIS: He's, he's casting.

LIAM: He's doing it! He's doing it!

ORION: I hope he doesn't have a counter.

LIAM: This is D&D man, he's doing it!

MATT: So what's the DC? You don't have your hand cone.

SAM: I don't have my hand cone out. 17.

MATT: Natural one.

LAURA: Money, Money, Money, Money!

MATT: All right, what are you suggesting?

SAM: I'm going to suggest to him that he is an honorable man and we had a deal. And that he should honor it, to the fullest extent of the word.

MATT: He looks about at the rest of you guys.

SAM: I, I also, as a cantrip-- oh god, I hope it's not concentration.

LAURA: Don't do it.

SAM: Forget it. I'm not going to.

MATT: "The Greyspine name holds weight in this city, the last thing I want is that that be sullied by miscommunication. If we agreed to 25,000, I'll pay 25,000. But I hear a single disagreement out there, or a bad word that came from your lips about our exchange here, and I'm going to come for the rest of that money."

TRAVIS: I hold up the duergar's severed arm, and I curl all the fingers in and make a thumbs-up like that.

MATT: He looks back at you, very slowly, as you do this, with a tense stare. (laughs) "All right, all right." And he starts bringing up coin purse, after coin purse, after coin purse, counting it up as he does. It takes him about five minutes or so, and eventually he counts out, at your vision to improve it, 25,000 gold pieces and platinum pieces and pushes it across to you guys. You've retrieved that. No additional funds, as no scalps were collected, but you do get 25,000.

TRAVIS: Do you want the--

MATT: "You can hold onto that, thank you."

TRAVIS: You're very gracious.

LAURA: (singing) 25,000 gold in my hands right now. Thank you so much. This won't make up for the lost lives we have suffered, but-- (choking up) It helps.

MATT: "I'm glad. And I'm sorry for your losses. Perhaps you'll be less stupid in the future."

TRAVIS: Probably not. We should go.

SAM: Remember the blood we spilled for your people and your safety.

LAURA: Vox Machina!

(laughter)

SAM: Oh! I go to give him a business card, but then I realize I never got them printed so.

LAURA: Also! Gilmore's Glorious Goods! Great work.

SAM: Yes, Gilmore's! If you're ever overdark, come check it out. It's a great store.

MATT: Like an unexpected web pop-up, he gives you an expression of: where is this coming from? "Get out! Get out of my office!"

TRAVIS: Tiberius, how do we get out of here quickly?

ORION: I start going back to the chamber and I'll do the spell again.

SAM: Can you do it again? Don't you have to rest?

MATT: You can do it twice? 6th-level spell twice?

ORION: No it's a 5th-level spell.

MATT: What? The teleportation?

ORION: Yeah, it's a 5th-level spell.

MATT: I think it is. You're right.

ORION: Yes, very well. And then we'll go back to-- I'll choose Emon.

LIAM: Excuse me? As soon as they left, Trinket and I, we left, and I went to the nearest shop and bought a lot of pink ribbon, and I have been furiously tying bows all through Trinket's hair, the entire time they've been gone.

MARISHA: Actually I'll help with that campaign. I do some braids, and add some flowers.

LIAM: Keyleth has been weaving flowers in, and I have been knotting braids. Started at the head, and then worked all the way down Trinket's back and down the tail. The entire time. Feverishly.

TALIESIN: I come up for lunch. Keyleth, can I borrow you for a-- what in good god?!

MARISHA: Is it important? Do you need me right now? This is pretty important.

TALIESIN: Is Trinket comfortable with this?

MARISHA: He's so comfortable! Look, I gave him plenty of treats, he doesn't even know what's happening.

MATT: (sad bear noises) This mournful low, guttural groan. You're pretty sure it translates to, "Why?"

LIAM: I feed him a piece of chocolate at that moment.

LAURA: Don't give him chocolate!

MATT: He licks it off.

TALIESIN: Keyleth, can I borrow you? When you have a moment.

MARISHA: Ten more minutes. I'll be down in ten minutes.

MATT: It takes about ten minutes before the keep doors open and the rest of your party returns.

MARISHA: And I run downstairs really fast.

LIAM: Side note, I let Trinket give me bear-kisses all over my face. Vex never lets Trinket kiss her face, and it's so sad, and I let him just drool all over my face everywhere.

TALIESIN: I feel like we're playing out some real-world psychodrama here.

ORION: As this is going on, I want to turn to Scanlan and go, Gnome. I have an idea that I want to run by you. No, your name's Scanlan. Okay. I was going to go and do this, just on a whim as I usually do, but I was thinking that we should speak to Allura, and I don't think I should speak to her alone.

SAM: I'm sorry. I must be asleep. Are you planning something? Ahead of time.

ORION: Yes.

SAM: Wow. That's amazing!

ORION: You know. Like I told Vax, you just have to chill out sometimes, and I'm like, well, maybe I should run it by the man with the mouth.

SAM: Well, you've come to the right place. I do have quite a mouth. Yes, let's go talk to her. Wait, she's the woman you fancy quite a bit, isn't that true?

ORION: Yes. This is more business rather than denied pleasure.

SAM: What do you want to speak with her about?

ORION: Well, as far as I see it, there's no other way to get our carpet reenchanted. I want to confess what we did to her, and hopefully she takes mercy and helps us out with this, as we've helped her out far beyond anything that--

MATT: At this point in the discussion, you guys all look up and see, sitting in the center of the main foyer area of Greyskull, a very mighty bear, brought down low, sitting covered in pink ribbons, looking forward, going (distressed bear noises)

SAM: See? I told you it was a girl!

LAURA: Trinket! You look so cute.

MARISHA: Oh, I knew she'd love it!

LAURA: We need to get these off of you immediately. But you look really, really cute. And I scratch his little ears. How dare--

MATT: You look over, too, there are traces of chocolate smears across the face of Vax.

ORION: Vex. No, Vex. Yes. Stand over-- and I use my Still Image and take a little spell of her--

TALIESIN: Say it. Staffie. Just say staffie.

ORION: No, but it's of her, it's a youie.

TRAVIS: But it's with your staff.

LIAM: What is the piece of art immortalized upon? A piece of wood?

ORION: Oh. And I open my Scroll of Telescription, I'm like, see?

LAURA: Oh look, now I can remember this moment forever. Thank you. Trinket, let's go get you a bath.

TRAVIS: We got so much money.

LAURA: I go and put it in the party funds. We got our gold.

SAM: Good job. We can pay back Gilmore.

LIAM: For my share? Just my share.

LAURA: Are we splitting up all the party gold now?

ORION: Vex? I give her the picture. Now you have a picture of your bear with the silly bows.

LAURA: Oh, thank you.

LIAM: And I take advantage of her good mood and say, I just want 1,200 gold, and I won't ask for any more of it, any of the amount.

ORION: Ooh, yes, I would like the same thing.

LAURA: Do you want me to just split up all the party gold right now?

SAM: No, I don't, no. Just give us a quick stipend. Give us each 1,500 and let's move on.

LAURA: Everybody gets 1,500. Is everybody happy? Trinket, are you just so thrilled?

MATT: (sad bear noises) He's pulling them out with his claws as best he can.

LAURA: Oh, sweetie. Bath time.

MATT: Trinket stands up and heads out to the front courtyard. All right, so it's 1,500 times seven.

LAURA: I'll do the math.

SAM: Let's go do our recon. Who's doing it?

TRAVIS: Are we going to kill them?

SAM: No, we're just going to go spy on them.

TALIESIN: I'd like to finish my morning crafting before moving into the evening crafting. I'm going to have help. I'm working on project number three.

MATT: Okay. This is probably going to take you the rest of the week. It's an extensive project.

TALIESIN: If I have a little help? This is something I've been tinkering with for quite a while, now.

MATT: Right, but it's also the most complicated thing, outside of the gun, that you've constructed.

TRAVIS: We've got a couple more days, too.

ORION: How many days have passed, since we've been doing this? Two?

LIAM: Percy, you go to work. We'll figure out everything else.

MATT: It's up to you.

TALIESIN: Do you think I'll have time to finish everything that's on my list, if I roll well?

MATT: Probably not everything. You'll have to choose between a couple.

LIAM: What if he rolls a 20?

TALIESIN: Because I was going to have Keyleth lightning spell to help set the battery for the--

MATT: Right. Well, that is technically an enchantment.

TALIESIN: If it just uses it to start a charge?

MATT: Oh, to start a charge? Then you can do it.

TALIESIN: Okay. Yeah, I was going to Frankenstein this.

MATT: Okay. We can begin the roll now.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: Go ahead and make a tinkering roll.

TALIESIN: That's better. 20.

MATT: 20, okay. Not actually doing the charge yet, because you're building the basis of the structure. You help him downstairs in his workshop with the various materials to begin crafting the actual shell of the item. What else are you guys doing?

SAM: Let's go do recon.

LIAM: Yeah, what are we checking out, though? I mean, it's not like the Briarwoods are out in public. We don't know anything about them.

LAURA: We need to ask around town about the Briarwoods.

SAM: We need to get into the Briarwoods' estate and talk to them.

MARISHA: Well, they're not local. They're coming into town. They're coming into town in five to seven days.

MATT: No, they're arriving now in six days and arriving for the actual feast.

SAM: Where's the feast to be held?

MATT: It's to be held in the palace.

LAURA: Shit. We can't do any spying.

MARISHA: Not on them.

ORION: All we can do is get gear and do things and we can sleep for a few days.

TALIESIN: You can help me in the workshop.

MARISHA: Make a plan. Maybe make a plan? We don't really have a plan.

LIAM: Can you remind me and the group, the dinner, I know it's with the Briarwoods, but who else? Is it with Uriel or who is it with?

MATT: It's with Uriel, the Council, which is why you guys were invited, also because Percy asked. And the Briarwoods. It is partially to discuss and celebrate the agreed-upon construction of a bridge that goes across the Shearing Channel at the far northeastern side of the continent of Tal'Dorei. There is a large channel where these two large mountain ranges, which are the closest the two continents are to each other, but it's a very treacherous pass of water, so any trade having to be done has had to travel southward, in a big arc around the bottom of the island, or via skyship, both very expensive. This bridge will enable a much faster trade route between the two continents, and Whitestone has essentially been in charge of spearheading the construction of this bridge and making this agreement with Uriel, that would be overall helpful for both continents. And since they've agreed upon this, they've been invited here to Emon for the first time to have dinner with the Council and Uriel to celebrate it.

LIAM: We maybe want to talk to Uriel.

LAURA: Maybe. Maybe you guys should go, because I want to spend the next few days training Trinket how to roly-poly roll forward and bludgeon people with his armor.

MATT: (laughs) Okay.

MARISHA: I mean, the only thing I can think-- Percy. Do you still have an idea of what the Briarwoods look like?

TALIESIN: Oh yes.

MARISHA: I could attempt another scrying spell. Could even possibly go to Allura for help and try again.

TALIESIN: See if Allura will come here, because I want to keep working. And I'll also say we should send word to Uriel that I will not be myself at the--

SAM: Yes, that might be very strange.

LAURA: We should maybe send word to him that the Briarwoods should be watched.

TALIESIN: The less we say, the better.

MARISHA: What makes you say that?

LIAM: You think Uriel might be in the Briarwoods' pocket and pass on that we're aware.

TALIESIN: It would not be the first time.

LIAM: That's true.

SAM: Yes, even if you wear this disguise hat, Percy, how are you going to get into this event? It's a private event. You can't just be some random person.

TALIESIN: I will be with you, and if we can let Uriel know that I am coming under a false pretense.

SAM: Yeah, but that's going to arouse all kinds of suspicion.

MARISHA: Exactly, yeah, if we tell Uriel you're coming as someone else, he's going to ask why.

TALIESIN: He knows that I don't trust them.

TRAVIS: He does?

TALIESIN: He does.

MARISHA: Wait, who was it that came and talked to us? Who was that?

MATT: That was Seeker Asum.

MARISHA: I was going to say, it was Seeker Asum, but he didn't say that Uriel had his doubts, he said he had his doubts.

TALIESIN: So let's let Asum know.

MARISHA: Let Asum know.

SAM: Why don't you disguise yourself as--

TALIESIN: Burt Reynolds.

SAM: What about Vax? He can sneak in.

TALIESIN: Will the hat let me choose who I look like?

MATT: The hat, like any Minor Illusion spell, you can choose your appearance.

TALIESIN: How much of a shape-change can I--

MATT: I mean, you can look pretty close to somebody else.

TALIESIN: Could I look like Grog?

MATT: You could. But as it is an illusion, there is no physical-- so if somebody were to reach up and touch your shoulder, it would just pass through.

MARISHA: Right, and your voice doesn't change, so you probably don't want to try and sound like Grog all night.

TALIESIN: Well, I was actually thinking of Pike, but.

SAM: Ooh, Pike. You could be Pike. You would be a very big Pike.

LIAM: Percival, there's nothing I want more than for you to take Bad News and unload it on every one of those motherfucking shits, but if you're me and I'm nobody, if I'm a ghost, I can help take out one or two.

TALIESIN: You'll stick to the shadows, and I'll be you.

MARISHA: Not to be-- sorry, you were going to say something?

TALIESIN: No, that's actually a pretty good plan.

LIAM: How many days left?

MATT: Six.

LIAM: Can I ask you a question, DM? I have in the assassin perks. I think it says seven days, I can be anybody. As long as I don't do anything else and I work on getting the right papers, and no one will know who I am, 100%, but it's six days, so am I shit out of luck? This is why I was talking about it yesterday, motherfuckers.

TALIESIN: That's okay. It's a good plan. I think this plan is a good plan.

ORION: I think we'll be fine, because I have privilege perk.

LIAM: You make me invisible.

SAM: I can also do that. Or he can.

LIAM: Yeah, one of you two.

SAM: No problem. I know it's a few days off, but we should have some sort of safe word. Some sort of attack word. Grog, any suggestions?

TRAVIS: Jenga.

ALL: Jenga.

MARISHA: I like that. We're not hired to kill the Briarwoods, and not to be that member of the group that has a golden heart and wants to ruin everyone's fun. I don't want to stand between you and your revenge that you are absolutely owed, Percy, but are you sure this is what you want? Is this going to make you feel better?

TALIESIN: I don't know what I want. I want to see them. I want to look at them. I want to see them.

MARISHA: Do you want to talk to them?

TALIESIN: No. I want to listen to them.

TRAVIS: Then we follow your lead.

TALIESIN: I want to see them. I don't know.

MARISHA: Do you want us to fucking capture them and drag them back to the cell that we built in our keep? We built it for a reason.

SAM: (whistles) She gambles now. She's crazy.

MARISHA: I know, I've been opened up to so many things.

TALIESIN: The best I can give you is we'll just have to see what happens.

LIAM: Percival, I trust you implicitly. You have earned that trust. Do you believe them to be evil in the purest sense?

TALIESIN: I do.

LAURA and LIAM: That's all we need.

SAM: We don't even need that much. If you'd just said to kill someone, we'd probably do it.

TALIESIN: I saw things.

LAURA: Should we prepare? Let's do it! I've been training Trinket, though, does that help?

MARISHA: I've been reading my alchemy books.

MATT: Six beard checks.

SAM: I went to get business cards.

MATT: Right. That'll cost you 25 gold for 100.

SAM: I'm going to get two sets. One says Scanlan Shorthalt, one says Burt Reynolds.

MATT: Okay. Both have been constructed without question.

LIAM: I repaid my debt to Gilmore.

MATT: All right, debt is paid, mark off that gold.

LAURA: Yes!

MATT: How many is that?

TRAVIS: I'm at five total, right? 46. 45. 55. A one. And a 95.

MATT: By the end of this week, you have grown what is a rather majestic full chin-beard. You are probably the first goliath to have facial hair. It's a full, we're talking Portland man.

SAM: Oh no.

LIAM: Another thing that I did was go off and get a lathering cream, and the second to last night, after I took Grog out to the tavern, I bought him a lot of drinks.

TRAVIS: I assume dodge.

LIAM: I didn't shave off his whole beard. Only half of it.

TRAVIS: I just became the most handsome man in the world.

LAURA: Do not shave his fucking beard off.

LIAM: This much.

MATT: Make a stealth check. Make a perception check. You just broke a mechanical pencil!

(laughter)

LIAM: DM? I rolled a natural 20. I have advantage on stealth checks, and I rolled an 18 and a 20. Natural 20.

MATT: Sleeping soundly, drunk, you do not hear the approach of Vax. As you pull out your blade and get ready, I want you to roll a sleight of hand check.

LIAM: After the 20?

MATT: One thing to not be noticed. It's another to shave someone's face without being noticed. This is about stillness of fingers, not just how stealthy you can be.

LIAM: I'm using Luck. Okay, so I rolled a 21.

MATT: Roll a perception check, Grog. With advantage because this is against your face.

TRAVIS: 13.

LIAM: 21.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Why are you so evil?

LIAM: Why did he trip me and make me eat shit two months ago?

TALIESIN, MARISHA, and ORION: Oh!

TRAVIS: Appetizer of things to come, my friend.

MATT: The crowing sound of a distant rooster. The farmlands that surround the outside of Emon, which are relatively close, within earshot. The morning sun rises, cresting over the eastern skyline of Tal'Dorei. Grog, you come to consciousness, stretch, reach up to rub-- half a beard.

TRAVIS: Half a beard? Like, just one side of my face?

MATT: One side of your face.

TRAVIS: I say in a low, guttural growl--

LIAM: You have no idea it was me.

TRAVIS: Vax. I didn't have to wake up to know it was you, motherfucker.

LIAM: Make an intelligence check! Make him make an intelligence check!

MARISHA: We all know it was you.

TRAVIS: I reach down, I find a dark stone on the ground, and I go over to the bare side of my face and I draw a very beautiful mustache to complete the other half of it.

LIAM: He is dumb as a post. Why does he know--

TRAVIS: Because you're the only fucking idiot stupid enough to do that!

LIAM: Magic is mysterious! Why couldn't you grow half a beard due to magic?

TRAVIS: Maybe I don't know. Let's say I assume.

(laughter)

MATT: However, it is a new morning. Roll a beard check.

TRAVIS: Eight, four.

MATT: No movement.

LIAM: Sorry, big guy.

MATT: All right, so as a note, Percy, I want you to make four more tinkering rolls.

TALIESIN: All right.

SAM: I'm going to give him inspiration for one of them. (singing) Do you want to build a machine gun?

TALIESIN: (singing) Why, yes, I really do.

MATT: What have you got?

TALIESIN: 28.

MATT: 28, okay. Second one?

MARISHA: Oh god.

MATT: Dice going everywhere.

SAM: Inspiration, d10.

TALIESIN: I got a d6 from the last one you did.

MATT: d6 is what I gave you.

TALIESIN: d10, so I'll roll a d10 with the next one. That one was 20.

MATT: All right. Third one?

TALIESIN: 28.

MATT: All right, and the fourth one?

TALIESIN: 23.

MATT: Okay, so over the next few days, you've constructed what amounts to a large, metallic gauntlet. You have taken this gauntlet and wired all through it insulation and metallic insulating tips in what is essentially a small, for lack of a better term, alternator of some kind.

TALIESIN: I was going to try to sneak in a few bullets during that time.

MATT: The fifth roll's going to be that. You have constructed this device. The quality seems fair. It's untested technology, just something that's a brainchild of your own, utilizing Keyleth's aid. Keyleth, I'm going to have you roll a wisdom check. Roll that and add five.

MARISHA: Well. Add just my base wisdom?

MATT: Plus six, it would be. Sorry.

MARISHA: Yes, plus six, so 20 total.

MATT: 20 total. You step out and you set it down in the middle of the courtyard. Keyleth, you summon a storm that slowly gathers above the top of the keep. You guys start hearing sounds like rolling thunder outside and you come and look, and you see Percy and Keyleth are out standing in the middle of the courtyard. Keyleth with her arm in the air as this black, dark storm cloud begins to swirl above the entirety of Greyskull Keep. With that, she brings her hand up and then brings her fist down as a bolt of energy (thunder clap) streaks down from the clouds, slamming into a small object on the ground that then gets flung about 15 feet in a random direction. Tumbles to the ground. You rush over to grab it. You can see arcing over the metal. (electric sparking) These small electric arcs. You reach over and wait a second. You prod it. Pick it up and it's hot. Drop it instinctively. You give it a few minutes to cool off. Pick it up when it's warm enough; you put it on and there is essentially this large, sparking, metal centerpiece that is giving off this low hum.

MARISHA: Did it work? Try it on Tiberius.

ORION: Sure. Here.

TALIESIN: Touch.

MATT: Okay. Tiberius, make a constitution saving throw.

SAM and ORION: No!

(laughter)

MATT: All right, you suffer 14 points of lightning damage and are stunned for a round. I need you to go ahead and roll a d20.

TALIESIN: Cock-a-dooed. (yelps)

MARISHA: High rolls startle him.

TALIESIN: 19.

MATT: 19, okay. It stays intact from the force of it. A little bit of the energy that was stored in there appears to dissipate. You figure there's only a few applications of this before it needs to be recharged, and every single time it's utilized, there's a low chance that it may detonate, or crumble, or something bad may happen.

SAM: Percy, that's amazing! What do you call it?

ORION: (unintelligible mumbling)

TALIESIN: Are you all right, Tiberius?

MARISHA: I go over and give him a Cure Wounds.

MATT: You manage to eventually shake off all your muscles that were so locked, tense, give way for a second.

ORION: It's effective.

MARISHA: That was awesome.

TALIESIN: I call it Diplomacy.

SAM: Diplomacy?

LAURA: I like it.

TRAVIS: That's great.

LAURA: As we're standing watching that, Trinket comes rolling into the courtyard!

MATT: Let's go ahead and make an animal handling check.

LAURA: Oh, why didn't I get more points in that?

LIAM: Roll high. Come on.

MATT: I say with advantage because Trinket's been your companion for so long.

LAURA: Natural 20!

MATT: Which is close to what you needed because this is a very difficult feat. Over the week you've worked with Trinket and you've worked on a technique where, instead of a multi-attack, Trinket can do what is essentially a trample attack, meaning Trinket can roll forward and roll through anything that's equal to or smaller. And damage everything in that path.

LIAM: (singing) Circus bear.

MATT: We'll go over the logistics of that some other time, but Trinket has now learned a roly-poly trample attack.

LAURA: Should we call it the roly-poly or the cannonball?

TRAVIS: That's your call.

MATT: It's your call. Call it what you want.

LIAM: Roly-poly is cute; cannonball is--

LAURA: I think I like cannonball because it's better to shout during the battle.

MATT: The Trinket cannonball.

LIAM: Roly-poly!

ORION: For brevity, I rolled six dice. I rolled, the only high ones worth mentioning was a 13, a 15, and 18.

MATT: With a 15 and an 18--

ORION: 17, I mean.

MATT: Yeah.

ORION: And the, because they're all negative three. And I attempted to teach to Lockheed to hide and speak and to stay.

MATT: Okay. To hide and to speak. To stay did not stick, unfortunately. You had two rolls that were high enough to get those two in there though. Hide and speak. All right. The morning has come to fruition. You have a few hours before you're supposed to arrive at the palace. You have been notified that this is a very formal event.

SAM: We'll need fancy robes.

LAURA: Oh, we have some formal dresses already.

MATT: Roll again, please.

TALIESIN: 23.

MATT: You manage to construct 20 pieces of ammunition from 20 units of materials.

TRAVIS: We have three fancy robes.

ORION: Oh, and I've picked up my glaive, right? Two days. It was time to.

MATT: You go back to Karin. You now have some kind of a knife-glaive thing.

ORION: Krull! I'm naming it Krull.

MATT: You are unsure how it will work in combat? But it looks neat.

ORION: And I attach it to my coat.

MATT: It just hangs to the side. Careful how you sit.

LIAM: Do I still have the finery I wore to the Velvet Cabaret?

MATT: You would, yes.

LIAM: All right. So we have to worry about you, Grog.

TRAVIS: Are there any tapestries or curtains in the castle?

MATT: There are, actually.

TRAVIS: I walk up to the prettiest one and I rip it down, and I throw it over myself like a toga.

MARISHA: (laughing) It's pretty good.

MATT: It, in a "Foreigner in a Foreign Land" kind of way, could work.

TRAVIS: And I practice my curtsy. Because I've seen Vex and Keyleth do it, so I think everybody does it.

ORION: I do it, as well. I don't know what's going on.

TALIESIN: I want to see him roll an athletics check for that.

LAURA: Tiberius.

ORION: Yes?

LAURA: Could you Prestidigitate this thing and make it look like an actual thing?

SAM: Not for very long.

MATT: That's more of an illusion.

LIAM: You pull the hairs out.

TRAVIS: What's wrong with this? I'm from a strange land. My customs are my own.

SAM: Grog, have you washed yourself in water at all this week?

TRAVIS: No. It burns.

ORION: I do Prestidigitation immediately to get rid of some kind of smell that I'm sure is emanating.

TRAVIS: I freak out running around the room. (screams)

ORION: It's not water, Grog. And I keep casting it on him. It's fine, see. (splash)

LAURA: You're fine.

TRAVIS: It must have been that powder you gave me before. It made me immune.

LAURA: That's what it was. You're immune. You're definitely immune to water now. Good job.

ORION: What's wrong with what you're wearing now?

LAURA: His toga? He's wearing a toga made out of a tapestry.

ORION: Oh, so I'll go and I'll use some of my Dust of Illusion and I'll (pfft) on what he's wearing and shape it into a fancier robe.

MATT: From a visual standpoint, the robe tapers and curls around his form, and comes to look like a nicer robe. The material looks like it's made of almost a reddish silk. The actual imagery of the tapestry slowly fades and becomes just various textures and material. From your eyes, it's less interesting, but from a presentory standpoint it could be passable.

LIAM: Don't forget his exotic facial hair, as well. That probably lends to the whole package.

MATT: Yeah, which by the way, you guys do see. It's half giant beard and half scrawled-on charcoal.

ORION: And I notice this, I go: Oh. Oh, Grog. And I use a little bit more of Dust of Illusion. I wipe it. Smear it on there.

TRAVIS: I wipe it away!

ORION: No. Stop! Hey, hey, hey-- I put it on. Actually, I'm going to take it, and I'm going to actually put it in your hand and be like-- put it on your thumb and be like: I want you to smear this where the beard was, and I want you to think really hard that you want it there. Okay? So put it on first. There you go. That's it. And now think really hard that you want it there.

MATT: The dust tends to glisten, and where there was once charcoal outline, a mirror to your once beautiful beard continues, full, as if nothing had happened.

TRAVIS: I reach into the bag of holding and I take out a little goblet, and I pour some ale in it. And I walk over to Vax, and I go, here you go.

LIAM: This looks very good. Thank you, Grog.

TRAVIS: You're welcome. Would you like some more?

LIAM: No, I don't want to cloud my thinking before we go up against the Briarwoods.

TRAVIS: Probably smart. I'll take that back. I crush the goblet in my hand.

MATT: This creaking metal sound. The goblet is now destroyed.

TRAVIS: Oh no! What happened?

MATT: All right, dressed up, you all make your way to the Cloudtop district as the sun begins to bring itself to the other side of the horizon. As you approach the outside of the Tal'Dorei palace, there are general guards set up to accept guests. They're just there in wait as part of their process today. As soon as you arrive and announce yourselves as having arrived, is there anything you want to do to prepare?

SAM: Well, are you in disguise yet, Percy?

TALIESIN: Yes, I look like Vax.

SAM: Cloaked Vax?

LIAM: Where are we?

MATT: You guys are nearing the palace right now.

LIAM: Nearing the palace? Hit me.

MARISHA: I produce a few flower cummerbunds and start pinning them on the party.

LAURA: I go in and put my arm through Percy's arm to make it seem like we're twins. I go in with Percy to make it look like we're the twinsies.

SAM: I'm going to cast Invisibility on Vax.

TRAVIS: I hand the Potion of Climbing to Vax and say, don't die.

LIAM: No promises.

SAM: You've got one hour until my Invisibility is going to wear off, so find a shadow.

MATT: Do you guys make yourselves known at the palace front?

SAM: Yes! We're friends here. Yes.

MATT: As you approach, you make yourselves known. The guards lead you to the front area of the palace. The sun's just starting to hit the distant side of the water of the Ozmit Sea to the west of Emon. As you guys finish talking to the front guard that you've arrived, Seeker Asum steps out of the front of the palace and sees you. "Very good. Glad you could make it. Please enter. I will wish to speak with you briefly before the event this evening."

LAURA: Of course.

MATT: "Are you missing anyone?"

LAURA: Oh, yes. Percy wasn't feeling very well. He ended up staying home.

MATT: Make a deception check.

LAURA: 11.

MATT: "Very well. That's unfortunate. His skills could have been of use to me. Come inside."

LAURA: I pat Vax's hand-- Percy's hand. What the fuck. This is creepy.

TRAVIS: Call him Vaxy.

LAURA: Vaxy.

TALIESIN: That will work just fine. Thank you.

MATT: He leads you into the green meeting room you guys have had previous council meetings with. It's currently empty. He sets the guards to the side and brings you inside and says, "All right, so if my little birds speak truth, they should be arriving around dusk, so we probably have no more than 20 minutes before they are here themselves. If you're not aware, they should be referred to as Lord and Lady Briarwood. Their names: Lord Sylas Briarwood and Lady Delilah Briarwood."

MARISHA: Sylas and Delilah? (singing) Hey there, Delilah.

MATT: "This is a political dinner. Please do your best not to cause a scene during the meal, as I need that time as a distraction to do my own digging."

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: "Vax."

TALIESIN: Yes?

MATT: "You're light of step and quick to fade. Would you wish to join me on this or stay with the dinner party?"

TALIESIN: I'll stay with the dinner party. I wish to observe.

SAM: He also has a bit of a cold.

TALIESIN: I wish to observe the Briarwoods myself.

MATT: Make a deception check.

TALIESIN: (gritty voice) I wish to observe.

LIAM: You've got to go more nasal, Taliesin.

TALIESIN: Yes, nasal.

ORION: Yes, you need to go down here.

SAM: Sort of like sandpaper on a chalkboard.

MARISHA: I should have done something about this.

TALIESIN: Five.

MATT: Asum goes, "All right. If we are to do this, I would appreciate a little bit of honesty at the front point."

ORION: Well, I'm Tiberius Stormwind from Draconia.

TALIESIN: It's all right.

SAM: This is not Vax.

TALIESIN: Asum, it's me.

MATT: "I gathered as much, as soon as you began to speak. Now, I can understand, based on our previous conversation, that you have interest in keeping low key, but know that I am an ally in this. If you're not here, where is the rest of your party. Where is Vax?"

TALIESIN: Vax is here.

LAURA: He's stealthing.

TALIESIN: He's being quiet.

MATT: "Well, Vax, if you can hear me, follow me when the meal begins. I may have use for you. All right, so. The Briarwoods have a very good relationship with Uriel and the Tal'Dorei council, established back before they expanded outside of Wildemount. I've sent two of my best gatherers into Wynandir to seek out more information on them. I don't know when that information will be available; they've only been gone but three days, and hopefully in time, we'll learn more of what their machinations may be. Many of the noble houses of Whitestone were left vacant when the de Rolos passed and were given to friends of the Briarwoods. Whispers that reach me speak of these new nobles, not being highborn, nor affiliated with the gentry at all, so I'm curious as to what allies they've made either before or after taking Whitestone for themselves."

MARISHA: What are the names of these people who've taken over White--

LAURA: It was the Briarwoods.

MATT: "I don't. The Briarwoods have."

MARISHA: I thought they said they had friends.

MATT: "I do not know yet. I've sent folks out there. Those who have been sent to Whitestone have either defected or quit and sent me letters of resignation which is part of the reason I am very curious as to what's going on in Whitestone. Now, I've also found the documentation that delivered the ungoverned lands of Whitestone to the Briarwoods was signed, officiated and cataloged months in advance to the de Rolo family passing. I'm still following the trail but I find the timing far too convenient. With their arrival coming up, please be controlled, remember what I've told you and as more information comes in in the passing weeks I'll bring that to your attention, as well. Be observant, listen, pry what information you can, but do not raise suspicion."

SAM: We will be as quiet as a house mouse. However, if you need us to act, just utter the word "jenga."

MATT: "Jenga."

MARISHA: I also make a matching corsage and pin it on his lapel, as well.

MATT: As you do, he looks down at it and goes, "Thank you; it's not my color."

MARISHA: You know, that's fine.

MATT: "I appreciate the offer but my theme goes with browns and blacks so as not to be seen. This is a bit bright for my taste."

MARISHA: It might have had a more utilitarian purpose, but it's fine.

MATT: "I'm not going to be at the dinner, but thank you."

LAURA: Do you have any of your people learning about the Briarwoods? Are they magic users in any way? Have you heard anything?

MATT: "The only thing I can recall as the information of the Briarwoods, at least what's come this way was while they were ruling the lands in Wildemount as part of their kingdom there, Lady Delilah Briarwood was an accomplished practitioner of the arcane arts, a long-trained wizard as far as I know and been through quite a few different schools and had a brief stint here in Emon training at the Lyceum, but that was naught but nine, ten years back? Maybe more."

LAURA: Do any of you know, as somebody practiced in the arcane arts, are you good at seeing through illusions? Or--

SAM: Who, me? Who, us?

LAURA: Anybody that is, you know, very skilled?

ORION: (chuckles) Of course. I just need to know that one's happening. So it's tricky, is what I'm saying.

LAURA: So she wouldn't automatically know. They wouldn't be able to spot immediately that Percy is not actually--

ORION: Somebody would have to have rather powerful abilities to see through an illusion spell like a disguise or such. It's like a rakshasa could see though that kind of thing, per experience. I doubt that the Briarwoods have any--

MATT: At which point you hear, muffled in the distance a (horn noise) this horn sound that seems to be blown as a notification that the arrival of guests has rolled in.

TRAVIS: Are you ready for this, Vaxy?

TALIESIN: No. Let's do this.

ORION: Would you like me to cast Fireball?

MATT: Asum goes, "No, please, none of that. Vax, if you can hear me in this room, ten minutes into the meal see if you can spot me and follow me in the foyer. Good luck."

LAURA: Great.

SAM: Keyleth, I hope you phoned ahead and gave them your order for a vegan meal.

MARISHA: Oh, I always do.

TALIESIN: She's vegan. Of course she told them.

MARISHA: Exactly. It's on the RSVP.

MATT: Asum leaves the room. Do you wish to stay inside, do you wish to see the guests as they arrive?

TALIESIN: Let's go be social.

SAM: Let's go mingle.

MATT: All right. You guys head back out to the front of the palace, the large stairway that leads down into the central road outside of the palace in the middle of the Cloudtop district. The sky itself has now come to a dark purple blue slowly moving over into the distant sunset. The sun has disappeared beneath the sea and you've completed the dusk as the sunset slowly turns gold. A dark wood carriage flanked by four armored men on horseback pulls onto the road right before the Tal'Dorei palace. A young man steps from the front of the carriage and opens the door. Stepping out you see a strong, tall man in the nearby lantern light. Short brown hair frames a very chiseled and handsome face adorned with a well groomed goatee. His clothing is based in blue and black, fitted elegance trimmed with golds and red. A strip of grey fur cresting over one shoulder framing his torso. He turns, extends his hand towards the door, where a feminine gloved hand finds it. A beautiful woman steps out after. Her hair dark auburn and pulled up into a tight braided bun, resembling some sort of a glamorous school teacher almost. Her gown is in the same color scheme as the man, if a bit heavier blue than black, and a long billowing skirt tapers up to be form-fitted across her body, continuing upward to wrap her neck nearly to the jaw. They both turn to face the greeting party, bowing slightly as two of their companion guards flank their approach up the steps. The other two helping the young man who steered the carriage carry their rather large bags behind them. This is Lord Sylas Briarwood and Lady Delilah Briarwood. As you guys are standing here at this point, stepping behind you a hand reaches over and touches the back of your shoulder. You look behind you and there, smiling, is Arcanist Allura Vysoren dressed in a very fine blue gown. You've never seen her quite so formal, but very beautiful type thing. She glances over the shoulders, "It's so good to see you. I'm so glad you all could make it."

LAURA: So wonderful to see you. I give her a hug.

MATT: She gives a little hug, too. Glances over at you. "A pleasure, Vax'ildan."

ORION: See? She can see it.

MARISHA: Yes, she can.

MATT: What are you doing?

ORION: You look gorgeous Allura, and my friends are just making weird faces right now. It's probably because of how beautiful you look.

MATT: As you guys are having this discussion about 15 feet from you the Briarwoods enter the palace, their guards enter with them. There's been no pleasantry and very much an intended arrival. None of you are recognizable to them, thus they make no intent of introducing themselves.

LAURA: We catch any of their eye at all?

MATT: They appear to be looking about and taking in their surroundings but they're both engaged in a mumbled conversation between the two of them as they enter.

MARISHA: Is anyone waiting to greet them?

MATT: As you follow where they're going, as you walk into the main foyer area where you stand there, waiting carefully at the back, there are a number of servants that have arrived and have taken some of their bags and help them up the stairs. There is one, the head servant who is there talking to them and you hear him speaking to them. "Wait in your quarters be ready, the meal should be ready within the hour. If you would be so kind as to prepare yourselves, relax, unwind, set up your rooms. You're to stay for a few days at the very least. But we shall call you when the meal is ready." At which Lord Sylas Briarwood turns to him and says, "I greatly appreciate the information. Just come to our room and let us know when the food is ready. Now, come, my dear"

LAURA: Can I keep an eye on them as they're walking to their room? Just as long as I can see their mouths moving, I can read their lips.

TALIESIN: I also want to scan their entourage to see if I recognize any faces.

MATT: Okay, perception check. Perception check for you, as well.

LAURA: Do I have to perceive it? I have a feat that I can read it.

MATT: Oh, you do?

LAURA: Yeah, I have Observant: Read Lips meaning I can read lips from any language I can understand.

MATT: That's true. Okay, good to know.

TALIESIN: 19.

MATT: 19. No, they all appear to be run of the mill soldiers, nothing, no one that catches your attention. The young man who is helping them as they go through seems familiar, but no one that is jumping out at you right now. Someone you may have crossed paths with in the past but nobody that's really been formally involved in your life previously. Maybe a denizen of Whitestone that you've crossed before when he was younger. As they walk up the steps, you keep an eye best you can as they go. You catch a little bit of conversation that seems to speak about how long the journey's been, "That's all right, we'll be in there soon to discuss and we'll be out as soon as we can. We won't stay any longer than we need to." And that's the extent you gather as they continue up the stairway. As the next hour or so passes?

ORION: I flirt with Allura.

MATT: Okay, do you want to talk with Allura?

ORION: I flirt with her throughout the hour.

MATT: Okay, she's grateful for the conversation. She laughs, and she's very attentive to all of you and excited to see you. She lets you know that she's been caught in a little bit of the bureaucracy in the city and despises that. She's taken some time off for herself for about a week or so.

ORION: Actually, towards the end of that conversation I would like to bring up a specific thing. We've been having such a wonderful conversation.

MATT: "Of course, no, of course, Tiberius"

ORION: I think when things settle down a bit, perhaps you and I and maybe Grog, and Lady Kima can perhaps go out. Break bread and have some wine and such on an evening with each other. I believe my friend rather fancies Kima. What say you?

MATT: "Well, that's very flattering, Tiberius. I appreciate the invitation. I would say that particular mix of company might prove a bit awkward."

ORION: Well, of course. If it was awkward, nobody wants that.

MATT: "Perhaps we might-- I mean if you would like to get some tea sometime I'd be more than happy to--"

ORION: Oh, just you and I?

MATT: "Yes. Kima's quite a ways off and I believe she's still in Vasselheim, last I spoke with her, and yes, tea would be lovely."

ORION: Okay, all right, wonderful.

SAM: You walk away.

ORION: I walk away.

(laughter)

MARISHA: He got a date!

TRAVIS: Is that carriage. Is the carriage still there?

MATT: The carriage, as far as you see, is being led off slowly by the servants to a side area of the palace.

TRAVIS: And the armed on horseback that were with the Briarwoods when they came in?

MATT: Two of them are with the Briarwoods, and there are two helping to bring their stuff up to their rooms.

TRAVIS: The four are with them?

MATT: The four are with them, yes.

SAM: I jump up and give him a little high five. Then, as an hour has passed, I beckon to Vax and find a shadowy area.

TRAVIS: Real Vax or Vaxy?

SAM: Real Vax. Because my thing is wearing off, buddy.

MARISHA: I've been scanning the crowd. Have I noticed anything over the past hour of any of our people? Any locals, any council members, who may be acting a little shifty?

MATT: Looking about, the council is roughly stepping in and out of the area like they're getting ready for the dinner and arriving from the Cloudtop district.

MARISHA: Any of them breaking a sweat? Acting weird?

LAURA: Yeah. I want to check out this, too.

MATT: Go ahead and make an insight roll, both of you guys.

MARISHA: 22.

LAURA: 23.

MATT: The two of you scanning over. Looking over there is Lord Riskel Daxio, he's an elven male, who was the one who is master of trade of the city. He's the one that handled the ordering of your keep when you first had it brought to your attention by Uriel. Allura, of course. Tofor Brotorus is there, the female dragonborn paladin. She seems generally just not happy about the whole scenario and she's not armored, she's dressed in what would be considered formal attire but it's not a dress, it's not a suit, it's this asexual formal outfit that looks like a robe but also like a suit and she does not look to be happy in it at all. Just arms crossed, at the far end, back against the wall just (growling noises) slowly stewing, not wanting to be there. You also see Arbiter Brom Goldhand, who is the master of law. Was previously one of the heads of the guard there within Emon and then was then given the job of being the head of the Watchful Hall. He's the master of law essentially in the city. That's right, Tofor is the master of defense that took over for Krieg after Krieg was slain. So those are the council members. Most everyone else there you see are servants. As time goes on eventually there is the ringing of a dinner bell down the hallway and everyone turns their head and notices and steps over to the great hall of the palace where the feast is to be given to you and other guests.

SAM: As we move, I release and then recast Invisibility on him when I see that there's a moment where everyone's distracted.

MATT: All righty, so you rejuvenate the Invisibility spell.

MARISHA: Oh look, Tiberius, they have bananas!

ORION: Oh!

LAURA: I can sense you, you dick.

MATT: You're escorted to the hall by Allura. She keeps chatting with you guys and asking questions about how Vasselheim was, and is Kima well? She stayed back there. She asks questions about why Pike isn't here and you tell her the story that she stayed behind and everything. You make your way into the great hall which seats a vast number of people. There are five major tables meant for like large feasts but there is one central square table in the far end that is by this giant hearth. This fireplace is probably a good six feet high and about 12 feet wide. It's a grandiose visual on the far end of this hall, and there's a long table right there set for about 20 people. You don't know if there will be that many there at the table but it can seat that many. At which point, all the different members of the council have their seats around it. You guys find your seats.

LAURA: Can we get a feel for where the Briarwoods are going to sit?

MATT: With this many seats set, it's hard to tell, but you gather that they're probably going to sit--

LAURA: Are there place cards? (laughs)

MATT: There are no place cards but there are two ends of the table that have two chairs at each end.

LAURA: Okay. Can I position myself when I sit to where I can see them? So I can read their mouths, specifically.

MATT: Certainly. You can probably sit on the center or the far end of the table looking in their direction, should be fine.

ORION: Can I sit at the far end of the table at the very opposite end, if not at head of the end--

LAURA: That's probably where Uriel is going to sit.

ORION: Oh. Who?

TRAVIS: The king.

ORION: Oh! Not that chair.

MATT: Okay, but adjacent to it?

ORION: Yes. That would be rude, I think.

MATT: Okay, fair enough.

SAM: I assume I sit at the kiddie table because I'm so tiny?

LAURA: They've got a booster chair for you, Scanlan.

MATT: They do have adjustments for gnomish guests-- is a way of putting it. All right, after you guys sit for a few moments, another servant steps forward and says, "Please, if we might rise for our guests Lord and Lady Briarwood to join us at the table--"

SAM: I am risen already. I'm standing already.

MATT: Lord and Lady Briarwood now enter arm in arm, slowly walking from the far end of the great hall. They make their way to one end of the table. They both wordlessly sit down, smiling and acknowledge everyone at the table. There's a moment of silence and then another servant says "And would all please attention be given to our sovereign Uriel Tal'Dorei the second and the Empress Salda Tal'Dorei." At which point, the sovereign and his wife enter from the same entrance point. Everyone stands up from their chair, waits for them to get to the edge of the table, at which point they nod their head. Everyone gives a low bow. You guys follow suit, following the social graces you're not familiar with but trying to learn as you go. Except for Tiberius, you know this deal. You all follow his lead on this. Eventually, everyone sits down again. Tables are pushed in by servants behind you, you're like 'oh' caught off guard by the whole experience. Uriel looks about the table with a smile, shoulder length brown hair and his chin goatee very well crafted into almost a point now. He looks about the table. "Thank you, Lord and Lady Briarwood, for making the journey across the lands so that we might meet in person, finally. Please, allow me to introduce our dining party and esteemed council of Tal'Dorei." He goes around the table introducing, "Arbiter Brom Goldhand. He is the master of law of our city, and is responsible for maintaining all of these grand people of our fair town in the realm of safety and order. We have Lord Riskel Daxio. He is our head of planning and construction; has overseen many of the expansions of the city, and is a trusted friend of mine. We have the Arcanist Allura Vysoren: one of my trusted advisors, one of the greatest arcane minds of all of Tal'Dorei, and the overseer of all things arcane within our city. We have the Guardian Tofor Brotorus, a fierce warrior and currently the master of defense in our city and hopefully for a long time to come." Tofor gives a (scoffs) sound and everyone is put off by it, but they're also seemingly used to it. "Arbiter Brom Goldhand: master of law. My lovely wife, the Empress Salda. We have here within our midst, as well: Vox Machina, a team of intrepid adventurers who rose up and saved my family's life and very well the city of Emon and have since proven very useful to our territory. Grog Strongjaw, a goliath of interesting dress, but strong of heart and blade. We have Vex'ahlia, half-elven maiden with a bow as swift as the fastest eagle." Looking next, he says, "We have here Vax'ildan, blades quick and eyes sharp, not a whisper passes his ear. Ah! There you are! Scanlan Shorthalt, a performer known far and wide. A wit as clever as you've ever seen. His songs are whispered through taverns across the land. We have Tiberius Stormwind--"

ORION: I'm from Draconia.

MATT: "Hailing from Draconia, which," he looks across to the Briarwoods, "the kingdom you hail from originally not being far off from Draconia, perhaps you've had some dealings with the Stormwinds?" And the Briarwoods give a nod. "Yes, we have seen them in the past. We've heard many good things."

ORION: We're pretty cool.

MATT: "We have over here, Keyleth of the Ashari, if I am correct on that? She is a denizen of the natural lands and protector of all things nature within Tal'Dorei."

MARISHA: Hi.

MATT: "There was one more."

TALIESIN: Two, and they could not be in attendance.

LAURA: Yes, ill.

ORION: They were running around. They got diarrhea. Isn't that what you said?

SAM: Yes.

MATT: "Anyway. Welcome, and thank you." He reaches over and takes a small glass and clinks it with his silverware, the servants immediately muster up and start pulling glasses out and pouring wine into everyone's glasses and the conversation begins to naturally bustle about for this meal. Immediately conversation builds in about Uriel talking across to the Briarwoods talking about the bridge. He says "Now, the Uriel bridge, I don't think the name was necessary, but it's appreciated from my perspective. Now in this union between Wildemount and Tal'Dorei-- do we have a confirmed trade route between the two?" At which Lord Briarwood returns, "This is indeed very true. We are hoping that through this passageway, we'd have means of rather quick trade between this kingdom and yours. Not to mention this would allow for individuals to travel for carried parcels very quickly and we're hoping to establish perhaps a very quick means of communication outside of the arcane for those who cannot afford these various luxuries." Lady Briarwood taps on his shoulder and says, "Yes, and by the way, I don't mean to bring up a sore subject but it's come to our attention that apparently last Winter's Crest, there was an attempt on your life," and the table gets a little quiet for a second. "We're sorry to hear that and wish to express our--" Uriel puts his hand out and says, "No, no, it's quite all right. It was but a paltry attempt, and it was thwarted actually by Vox Machina. They have been tremendous in keeping us safe and I greatly appreciate their aid in overseeing my family's good fortune." Yes?

LIAM: While all this is going on, can you describe. Are the Briarwood couple together, seated next to each other?

MATT: They are seated right next to each other at the head of one table across the way.

LIAM: I intend to be behind them, but what's behind them, like?

MATT: What's behind them is just open space and servants. There's probably a good 25 servants here that are just like sitting there patiently, lying in wait for--

LIAM: And behind the servants is a wall so there's lots of open busy crowded space? Okay.

MATT: And tables. There's like other unused tables in this great hall that are just out there. Four other ones.

LIAM: All right. I'm going to drink the potion of climbing that Grog gave me, and I'm spidering up the wall and I'd love, while listening to all this to make an insight check on them just as they talk, just for funsies.

MATT: To inquire about--?

LIAM: Just to see if they seem like sacks of shit.

MATT: Okay, go for it.

LIAM: Luck, oh not that lucky. This is going to be very low. Yeah, never mind, low. Very low.

MATT: It's hard to tell from this distance really at all. They're very charming. You were expecting this very dour, dark, evil couple from all the conversation, but they seem nice. They seem earnest. They keep to themselves definitely, they're definitely a very tight couple but nothing about them catches you off guard as being anything instinctively twisted.

LIAM: It's very hard to read them upside-down.

LAURA: Could I inquire to Lady Briarwood?

MATT: You're saying this out loud? The conversation comes to a halt, she-- "Yes, of course. I'm so sorry, what was your name again?"

LAURA: Vex'ahlia.

MATT: "Vex'ahlia. Absolute pleasure to meet you. Delilah."

LAURA: You as well. I notice your dress is quite lovely. It doesn't look like a fashion that I'm used to seeing. Where do you hail from originally?

MATT: "We hail from Wildemount. It's quite a ways from here. The continent to the far east."

LAURA: Really, I'm not familiar.

MATT: "You should come by sometime. We haven't been home in a number of years, having to tend to Whitestone, but we have quite an elaborate homestead there. We'd love to have you come stay with us if you ever find yourself in that side of the world."

LAURA: I would love to visit. How long have you been at Whitestone?

MATT: "We've been at Whitestone for the better part of-- I can't even remember." And Lord Briarwood looks, he goes, "Best I can recall, four or five years. It was an unfortunate mantle to pick up but we've done what we can in honor of the passed de Rolo family."

SAM: Oh, sorry.

ORION: I was just going to ask, you seem such a lovely couple. Do you have any children?

MATT: "We unfortunately do not. It seems it was not in the cards for us to bear. However, we consider many of our esteemed servants and house guests our extended family. So we can leave a legacy, however we can possibly do so."

LAURA: Can we insight check as, what they're saying?

MATT: Certainly.

LAURA: I mean, I know they're lying out their asses. Fuck. 18.

MATT: 18? Seems pretty earnest.

SAM: Lord Briarwood. Down here, hi.

MATT: "I'm sorry, I--" he snaps and a servant moves a large like pig platter out of the way that was blocking your head from his vision.

TRAVIS: You can move that over here actually, thank you. (chomping noises)

SAM: Lord Briarwood, we may share a mutual friend or acquaintance of some sort. My father was a prominent doctor, and he may have studied medicine with a fellow that you know named Dr. Ripulah, Ripley? Dr. Ripley? Do you know such a person?

MATT: "Yes, actually. Dr. Ripley is one of our esteemed physicians in Whitestone. Yes, recently come into some land herself, although she has been on holiday for some time. Following her own research as doctors are wont to do."

SAM: Are you close with her?

MATT: "I wouldn't say close, but she's been a friend at times, and she was one of the few that came with us from Wildemount over to Whitestone and has helped us restructure and maintain and help facilitate the blossoming of a city without a leader."

SAM: She sounds wonderful. Well, when you see her next tell her that my father, Dr. Jeff Shorthalt, said hi.

MATT: "Jeff Shorthalt, I will be happy to pass that along."

TALIESIN: Lord Briarwood, I am not familiar with Whitestone. How did you become caretaker of such a place?

MATT: At which point, one of the other council members goes, "Um." and puts his hand out. "It's all right," and he pats the hand of his wife. He looks over at you with a smile. "We know not if it is connected with the disease, but before all this occurred, we became very close friends with the de Rolo family about ten or so years ago. Actually, the first time we met is an interesting tale, if you want to tell it, please." His wife goes, "All right all right, so they were taking a brief vacation east to Wildemount. Apparently, they had not traveled and they brought their family with them, a whole gaggle of small children. They were coming this direction. Now our homestead is on the western outskirts of Wildemount so one of the first places you traverse before going into the kingdom proper. However, the family, the de Rolo family had been caught in a bad downpour, a storm that had blown in and made travel rather impossible, and apparently they stopped not far from our homestead. They came to our front door asking for shelter for the evening, and we were happy to house them. We gave them dry clothes, food for the night, and well, a rather fast friendship was forged. As we quickly began to notice they weren't just rabble of the street, they themselves were highborn as we were and in a very dire circumstance. So we let them in, they stayed for but a week. We showed them about the western side of Wildemount and let them on their way. And since then we've had many different years we've spent together as families going on various journeys and trips together. But as time went on we got busy on our own and separate ways and we hadn't spoken in a while. They were in the process of discussing the building of the Uriel bridge about five years ago, and we were going to meet with them about pursuing this venture as a joint-- well, when the disease took them. The family passed on. We were surprised that they would've considered leaving Whitestone in our name, and we couldn't say no, at this point. To carry on their legacy, I felt, was important enough let alone the memory of that to carry on the building of this Uriel bridge. I thought I really wanted to spearhead the wishes of Frederick."

ORION: That is so courageous of you. Do you want me to Fireball her now?

TALIESIN: A toast, then!

MATT: "A toast."

TALIESIN: To gracious hosts.

MATT: "To gracious hosts."

SAM: L'Chaim.

ORION: Gesundheit.

MATT: "So. Uriel," and he looks across the way and says, "one of our largest exports in Whitestone is timber from the forests and woods that surround Whitestone and the Alabaster Sierras. We've had a rising danger in the surrounding woods. It has made it proven difficult to export most of these wooded goods. If it is possible, we would like for you to send some aid, perhaps a small band of soldiers to lead a strike into the woods." Uriel looks across the way and says, "Ah yes, we can definitely discuss that, I don't see why not. We are currently in peacetime and we have a reserve of soldiers we can send your way."

MARISHA: I mean, we're also free.

SAM: Oh yes.

MATT: As the meal continues on, more conversations arise. A lot of bureaucratic BS. Anyone want to interject anything or ask any questions?

ORION: Is Allura there, still?

MATT: Allura is there, yes.

ORION: As we're eating I'm going to: By the way, did you ever perhaps finish making that extra earring I gave you several weeks ago? I don't know how long it's been.

MATT: Allura looks, glances over to the side and says, "Yes, it's been completed. No one's come by to take it from me"

ORION: I had no idea, I'll send someone.

MATT: "And as a note, I'm about a month away from completing the sigil in the basement of your keep."

ORION: Oh, wonderful. Thank you, that's-- so talented. What flavor tea do you like, Allura?

MATT: "I prefer a mint or jasmine, to be honest."

ORION: Noted. I walk away

MATT: You step up and walk away from the dinner table. (chair scraping) Tiberius stands up in the middle of the discussion and walks away from the feast.

TALIESIN: Lady Briarwood, it is such an act of compassion to take on such responsibility as a house such as Whitestone.

SAM: Tiberius, get back here.

ORION: You said walk away.

SAM: No! Not every time!

MATT: "Well, thank you. This is the first time we've been away from Whitestone in many years."

TALIESIN: That's such a spectacular act of kindness and generosity. Would, perhaps, Vox Machina also be of service to you?

MATT: "Perhaps, you seem strong of build and--"

LAURA: We are handier than we look.

MARISHA: We killed a beholder once.

TRAVIS: Just right out with it.

MATT: "That is an impressive feat, young Keyleth."

MARISHA: We should just lead with that.

TALIESIN: And we killed an illithid once, as well.

MATT: "Slain a beholder? Uriel, you keep in the presence of some mighty heroes." Uriel goes, (chuckles) "They are proven allies. I mean, if you utilize their assistance. That would be very possible. May have something coming up that I could use them for myself, but we'll discuss in time. Nevertheless, the meal continues." She smiles and looks back at you.

MARISHA: Can I do an insight check to see if that look at Percy-not-Percy was--

MATT: You can make an insight check, sure.

TALIESIN: Can you? Can you make an insight check? I don't think you can.

MARISHA: She looked interesting.

MATT: You're distracted by the pattern, the brocade across her torso area.

TALIESIN: You know, you could roll lower if you tried.

ORION: I want to do an arcana check on them.

MATT: What are you checking for?

ORION: If they're armed with anything that has arcane properties.

MATT: Make an arcana check. It's not so much something you can sense, more than you can look for symbols. You rolled a 17? It looks like there are elements of their accoutrements that are, like any of you are carrying on yourselves. There's a choker that's part of the outfit that Lady Briarwood wears that itself does appear to have some tiny enchantment-based markings across it. They are adorned in various protective magic, but so is everybody else at the table.

ORION: Got you. Standard gear.

TRAVIS: Lord and Lady Briarwood, we are, in fact, quite handy. Vax, we also killed an illithid, if I recall.

TALIESIN: I think we did. Did we befriend an illithid or kill it? I think we did both.

ORION: We befriended it, it betrayed us, and then we killed it.

SAM: But enough about us. Earlier, you were telling us about a poor family that came down with that disease. I'm just curious, coming from a medical family. What was the disease that they had?

MATT: They look at each other and give a sorrowful look. "We do not know. We were only given the information that the family had passed, but a month or two after it had already occurred."

MARISHA: The entire family. All of them?

MATT: "Most of the castle seemed to have fallen to it, as well."

LAURA: So dreadful.

MATT: Uriel says, "My condolences, by the way. I understand that's very hard." "It's all right. The least we could do is try to carry on their legacy."

LAURA: I know how hard it is to lose someone very close to you. I'm sorry for your loss.

MATT: "It's appreciated." He looks at his wife, and she looks up for a second. "It's all right."

MARISHA: I'm sorry. I'm just a little confused. If the whole family died of disease, weren't you afraid to go into this town, into this castle? Weren't you afraid of contracting this disease yourself?

MATT: "There was worry of such a thing, but before Whitestone castle could be entered, we made sure to send in our best clerics to rid of any existing possible lingering disease, and to make sure to remove any corpses or bodies that may contain it. There was a period of time that we were worried, but after a few months, we came to the conclusion that we were safe, and thus we moved our way in."

TRAVIS: Lucky for you.

SAM: Anyone care for some games of jenga?

MATT: At this point, the dessert has been brought out. It's a fine, almost creme brulee-type dish. It's delicious.

LAURA: Are they whispering to themselves, still?

MATT: As part of the discussions, there are a few side exchanges here and there. The best you can make from it is, "Did you notice him?" She says, "Yes, don't worry." And, "Tonight, we'll stay." And those are the only things you can make out from the exchanges back and forth.

LAURA: How long do you plan on staying here, Lord and Lady?

MATT: "Well, after this dinner, I imagine a few days, and we'll be on our way. We're merely here to finalize the paperwork for the bridge construction." She looks over and gives a nod to Lord Daxio, who gives her a nod back. "And maybe see the city for a while, and make our way back. It's too hard to be away, and our nephew has been left in charge of this."

LAURA: Do you have plans on the morrow? I would love to give you a tour of the city.

MATT: "That would be lovely."

LAURA: Wonderful! Should I send word? How should we arrange this?

MATT: "Where are you staying?"

LAURA: We are outside of town at our own keep, actually.

MATT: "What's it called?"

LAURA: The Greyskull Keep.

MATT: "Greyskull Keep. We will have you sent for when the time is right."

LAURA: Lovely. That will be so fun.

ORION: Vex is so into showing people our city.

LAURA: Perhaps you can show me some more of your fashions. I love your dress so much.

MATT: "Oh, well it's hard to show you this here. What you need to see is the Wildemount fashion district. It is divine."

LAURA: Sounds wonderful.

TRAVIS: I look at Vax and I go, does anyone want any dessert?

ORION: (gulping) I'm having a little.

LAURA: Vax? You looked at Vax?

TRAVIS: Yeah. Vaxy. The one that I can look at.

ORION: Do you want dessert now? Would you like this fireball creme brulee?

TALIESIN: I'm just fine.

MARISHA: (whispered) I don't know what to do now.

MATT: The meal has been now wound down, the dishes are being gathered by the servants, the wine has stopped being poured, and now everyone settles in with sighs of a meal well spent. The other council members begin to excuse themselves. Uriel stands up and says, "My apologies, me and my wife find that rest is in our future. Please, feel free to walk the halls as you see fit. Thank you again, Lord and Lady Briarwood, for joining us, and we're excited to continue this venture. Good night to you all."

MARISHA: Hey, you should Hunter's Mark them or something.

SAM: Wait, no, that's Uriel that's leaving.

LIAM: What's the gentleman who realized that I was there? Earlier, before we came in?

MATT: Asum? He's not in the room. He's been waiting in the foyer for you.

LAURA: He was telling you to meet him in the foyer, a long time ago.

LIAM: Oh, that's all right.

LAURA: (whispered) You should go spy on their room. Go check out that room. I'll distract them.

TRAVIS: (muffled) Go see if he's still there.

MATT: Lord and Lady Briarwood also stand up. "On that note as well, I think our meal has come to an end. We appreciate your--" and Lady Briarwood continues the sentence, and we wish you all a fine night--"

LIAM: I'm clicking my Boots of Haste and scuttling along the ceiling back towards the door.

ORION: I know a particular spell that it's rather wonderful. And I go blow a stream out and do a cantrip, Control Magic, and start doing a nice dragon fire dance that I know of from my home.

SAM: I play a little flute.

MATT: They both sit and watch for a moment--

SAM: (Star Wars Cantina song)

LIAM: Am I finding what's-his-face?

MATT: You make your way out, and he's not there. You don't see him anywhere.

LIAM: I'm doubling back.

MATT: Okay, you double back. After about a minute of this, "Yes, well, thank you kindly for that wondrous display. I feel that sleep takes us, and we are going to retire to our quarters. Have a wonderful night, everyone."

MARISHA: Are you staying within the castle?

MATT: "Yes, yes."

MARISHA: Oh! Fantastic.

ORION: Have a wonderful rest.

MATT: "And good night." And they both stand up, and then they make their way out, through the main great hall exit.

LIAM: I'm following.

MATT: Okay. You gather across the ceiling as you go. You watch them head up the stairway to the second floor. They head to the right, down a long hallway, a series of doors. They come up to a door, where there are two guards standing outside. The same guards that led them inside the building, and were riding on horseback.

LAURA: Could I Hunter's Mark him before they go in their bedroom?

MATT: Hunter's Mark is technically a minor spell. You could try it.

LAURA: I mean they're walking away, when their back is turned, could I do it when they're not paying attention?

MATT: I'd say, make a stealth check. Trying to do this subtly at the table.

LAURA: 20!

(cheers)

MATT: You Hunter's Mark which one?

LAURA: Lord-- no--

SAM: Sylas or Delilah?

LAURA: Delilah.

MATT: Okay, you mark Delilah as she walks off. You have a sense of where she is at all times in the vicinity. As you follow them, they go to the door, the guards open the door for them, and lead them into their room, and then close the door.

LIAM: Oh, that fast? All right. How close to the door are the guards? Right up against it?

MATT: Not against it, but immediately to the right and left of it.

LAURA: I don't know what else to do, you guys.

SAM: Burn their room down. We've got to find Seeker Assam, or whatever his name is.

LIAM: I yank off my serpent belt and throw it as far as I can. Not as far as I can. 20 feet, and set it in motion, so there's now a snake in the hall, 20 feet in front of these guys.

MATT: All right. You take it, and you throw the snake. Let me check one thing on Invisibility real fast. Just because--

MARISHA: (laughs) Yeah, just, snake flies down the hall--

ORION: If he does an action, it dissipates the spell. It's not Greater Invisibility, so he goes uninvisible, when he does something.

MATT: "Attacks or casts a spell." It's not either of those. It's activating an item. You take the belt (whoosh), fling it (hissing), the snake appears to the side. One of the guards looks over. Looks over at the other guard, he pulls out his weapon and one of the guards steps over to where the serpent is and starts trying to stomp it out, and it nips up and gets some of the armor, and he's just, stomping out the snake.

LIAM: So one's 20 feet away now?

MATT: About 25 feet away, yeah.

LIAM: 25 feet away, and one guy stayed?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Kill them.

LIAM: I drop, and I'm going to bean him on the head, like his name is Kynan.

MATT: Okay! All right. As you leap off the top, you (whoosh) land on the ground. Go ahead and roll an attack.

LIAM: Okay. "Advantage on attack rolls against any creature that hasn't taken a turn in combat yet."

MATT: And he is surprised, because he does not know you're there.

LIAM: And I'm invisible, so that's an 18. That is 29 to hit. Using the blunt end! I just want to knock him out.

MATT: Right, okay. Go ahead and roll sneak attack damage.

LIAM: Doubled. 12, 17, 23, 24, 26, so 52. Plus-- No, I mean, if I am as skilled a rogue as I am, how could I not just want to knock somebody out, and not unintentionally-- ten. On top of the 52.

MATT: 62 damage will do it. You (whack) right to the side of the helmet, with a dull (thud) sound. Just falls like a sack of potatoes right against the wall.

LIAM: Hand on the door. Is it locked?

MATT: The door is currently not locked. You can see the guard you just knocked out, had the key in his hand and was in the process of going to lock the door right when that happened.

LIAM: Okay, so I flip my hood over my head, and I quietly go in the door.

SAM: Oh wait, you're not invisible anymore.

LIAM: Yeah, I know.

MATT: Okay. So. (creak) You open the door and enter the room, closing it behind you. As soon as you enter the room, it's a large guest room. There are two windows across the way with curtains drawn to the side. You can see the darkness of the night sky behind that, and the rest of the low-lit Cloudtop District visible, and the courtyard surrounding the palace. Immediately to the right and left of you, you see two large tables that are covered in black cloths, that are just, tables to be, you know, vases and stuff set up on them. One's clean, one has actual decor on it. There are two wooden tables immediately to the right and left of you. There's a large red rug, central to the floor, that is circular, and on the far corners next to the two windows you see armoires, like dressers, for clothing and such. In the center of the room, you see, on top of the rug, against the wall between the two windows is a large canopy bed, very beautifully carved from dark wood, has a purple cloth silk canopy that drifts down around it. And on the far end, you can see now, against one of the tables, is Lady Briarwood is currently taking jewelry off of one of her arms while Lord Briarwood is right by the bed, holding on to the post, like he's just walked over to that area.

LIAM: They're both at the bed?

MATT: They're both at the bed.

LIAM: I got a 25 for stealth and it didn't work?

MATT: They're both looking in your direction.

LIAM: All right. Oh, sorry. Sorry, I heard a noise in here. I work for the city. I apologize. That was really stupid. As you were. I walk out.

MATT: Make a deception check.

LIAM: I'll use my last Luck of the day. Didn't do it; same thing. Nine, 11.

MATT: 11?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Lord Briarwood goes, "Oh, well, that's all right. Not to worry, in no serious rush. Isn't that right, my dear?" And she looks over, she stops taking her jewelry off and turns. "Yes, yes, of course. As you, a man who works for the city."

LIAM: Yes ma'am.

MATT: "What do you do for the city, if I may ask?"

LIAM: Oh, I'm a guard. I mean, there's not really a name for what I do. I work for Uriel, I just-- I'm security, ma'am, and I thought I heard a noise in here. And I heard a body fall, I thought-- sounded like a body fell.

MATT: They both step a little bit closer. Looking at you--

LIAM: I'm backing up as I'm talking, I'm right at the door! I didn't shut it behind me, I just cracked it open.

MATT: Right. Lady Briarwood goes, "You look strangely similar to a gentleman we just had dinner with."

LIAM: That's crazy!

MATT: "It's uncanny how similar you look."

LIAM: Yep.

MATT: (arcane chanting)

LIAM: And I run!

MATT: You get to make a wisdom save, is what you do.

SAM: Jenga!

LIAM: Not good. It's an eight.

MATT: You turn to move and your muscles (crunching) tense up, as you're unable to physically move.

LIAM: This is awkward, ma'am, I'm just trying to do my job.

MATT: You're halfway through the doorway, stuck in place, as she keeps walking forward now, giving you a curious look. Lord Briarwood comes and flanks you from the other side. (clicks tongue) "You try and flee. I'm merely asking you questions. Come, let us discuss in more private quarters." And you feel the hand of Lord Briarwood slam onto your other shoulder. "Don't worry. You look delicious." And he pulls you into the room as she closes the door behind, and that's where we're going to end tonight's session.

(screaming)

SAM: Jenga! We had a safe word for a reason!

LIAM: That's cool.

TRAVIS: Hashtag Save Vax!

MARISHA: Dude, I think they're into some weird shit.

MATT: That was a very slow tension building episode that turned very interesting at the end. How you doing, Taliesin?!

TALIESIN: (yells and groans)

LAURA: They're so evil!

MARISHA: They're creeping me out, man.

TALIESIN: You're making it so much worse than I ever imagined.

LAURA: They're totally vampires.

MARISHA: Now we're going to have to rescue Vax.

TALIESIN: I swear if the Briarwoods are responsible for a party kill, I'm going to feel like such an asshole.

MATT: (laughs) That'd be rough. Well, cool. We'll all be picking up that next week on Thursday.

MARISHA: Oh, please, like you haven't rushed into a situation before, Orion?

ORION: No! I never have. I can actually say that.

LIAM: Like attacking an inanimate door?

MARISHA: Yeah! Or, or launching a Fireball in the middle of a wood house?

TALIESIN: Trying to convince an entire army of illithid to follow you?

MARISHA: Yeah! Rushing off to Draconia to buy a Bag of Holding.

SAM: Or just today, running off to the, to the sigil!

ORION: Never put myself in danger except for the illithid. Never put myself in danger. The fire thing. Now granted, I didn't know how Fireball worked at the time.

LIAM: I'm sorry you're such a nervous fellow!

ORION: I'm just saying!

LAURA: Oh hey, what's going on?

LIAM: Come on, how am I going to play my second character unless I die now?

TALIESIN: Or you could become a vampire! You can be a vampire half-elf.

MATT: All right guys, so! We got a lot of awesome donations tonight. Let's go ahead and rock through those.

LIAM: I regret nothing.

MATT: As you shouldn't! That got really interesting really fast.

LIAM: Yeah. I regret zip.

[end of transcription]