Cold open
BRENNAN: The windswept dunes of the Eternal Night. Barrowdell of the fallen god of the sun, here in the ruins of the Obridimian Empire. Having departed from Tannesar, knowing that some large portion of the Barrowguard had ventured into endless sand, being pursued by one Alogar Fang, you return, not knowing, Thaisha, where your son could be, but knowing that he had survived under his own power and was attempting to do something reckless and heroic. Perhaps something that he gets from-- (laughs)
AABRIA: (laughs)
BRENNAN: Perhaps the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.
AABRIA: I'm stressed and proud!
BRENNAN: Stressed and proud.
ALEXANDER: Stroud.
BRENNAN and AABRIA: I'm stroud! (laughter)
BRENNAN: Awaking to endless starlight and freezing white sand, you come to after the evening in which Occtis and Vaelus communed with the skull of Tertia Tachonis. Leaving Tannesar, you gathered a tremendous amount of resources from the barracks: the last things that you saw. You uncovered the tremendous arcane knowledge of what the ritual had been intended to do, and grabbed, I think, a trove of more martial, military, and political documents from the barracks, as well as some of the remains, or looks like some signs of there having been a basilisk present here in this place for some amount of time. We return to the moment. Julien, Thaisha, you awaken. Dr. Talter in a tiny little bedroll, is shivering in the sand and you see laid out on the ground, in repose, is the body of Dame Gaya Seremai. Occtis and Vaelus both awake as you come to.
ALEXANDER: Oh, hi.
AABRIA: Hi.
ALEXANDER: Good morning.
AABRIA: Morning.
ALEXANDER: Ish.
AABRIA: Yeah. How are you doing?
ASHLEY: We did a lot. We read a lot last night, among other things.
ALEXANDER: We spoke to Tertia.
AABRIA: Hmm?
ALEXANDER: My cousin. Sorry. The thing.
AABRIA: Got it.
ASHLEY: Okay.
AABRIA: You're good.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
AABRIA: Sorry.
ASHLEY: It's new for me.
AABRIA: Yeah.
ASHLEY: I don't understand.
AABRIA: I just woke up. That's on me. Sorry.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
ALEXANDER: The Speak with Dead.
AABRIA: Yeah. You good?
ALEXANDER: She seemed very sweet, and then a giant skeletal hand took her somewhere.
AABRIA: Oh.
MATT: Delightful.
AABRIA: Was it like the one that we saw attempting to take Pascard?
BRENNAN: Yes.
ASHLEY: Yes. (laughter)
ASHLEY: It was just like it.
AABRIA: Gotcha.
ALEXANDER: Okay.
AABRIA: Okay.
ALEXANDER: So obviously my family has put some precautions in place to keep anybody from talking.
AABRIA: Yeah.
ALEXANDER: But also we took so much, we got some time to go through some of the papers.
AABRIA: All the stuff from the barracks?
ALEXANDER: From the barracks, yeah.
MATT: Fantastic. Gather your things. Tell us on the way.
ALEXANDER: Okay. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
AABRIA: Hold on. Dr. Talter's still asleep. She's not used to this.
MATT: Pick her up. Take her with us.
AABRIA: Okay.
MATT: Doctor.
AABRIA: Okay, oh.
MATT: (raps)
AABRIA: Don't knock on a person.
BRENNAN: "(startles) No, no, I'm a very light sleeper when, you know?"
AABRIA: And hollow.
BRENNAN: "Hi. It's time to go? Sorry."
AABRIA: Yeah
BRENNAN: "Whoopsie."
MATT: Gather your things.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
AABRIA: Do you want some help? I'm going to help her.
BRENNAN: She rolls up her bedroll, takes her little bag, and goes, "I'm gathered."
AABRIA: Oh, all right.
BRENNAN: "I'm gathered."
ASHLEY: What do we do with Seremai?
ALEXANDER: Let's put her back on the horse.
AABRIA: How do you want to--
ALEXANDER: You can see that we've wrapped a cloth around the head, where most of the damage is visible, just to preserve some sort of dignity, and I'm going to go over and lift her back onto the horse that she was on before we took her off to give the horses some rest and start bringing her back. I have put the head back in my bag.
BRENNAN: Gotcha. Looking around as you guys break camp, do you review the documents from the barracks?
ALEXANDER: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Something that I found a bit disturbing, Julien, there are forces that are hidden outside of the Orchard, and there were-- There was writing that a Sea Door is closing possibly. Is this ringing any bells for you?
MATT: Does a Sea Door ring any bells?
BRENNAN: No, Sea Door does not.
MATT: Yeah. And we're certain this is not some sort of misdirection?
ALEXANDER: We don't know, but the Golden Orchard was mentioned.
AABRIA: Oh, that was back when we were-- You saw those. Those were communications between the Tachonis. It would be weird if it was misdirecting private conversation, but--
ASHLEY: Yeah, this was written by your dad.
ALEXANDER: (chuckles) Correct.
MATT: Is he there?
ALEXANDER: My father? No, not that I believe it said, but it was communications to--
MATT: Given our current placement in the Eternal Night, my knowledge of these boundaries, from Castle Torch and the location of the Golden Orchard, is the path through that region a very large divergence from the return to Dol-Makjar?
BRENNAN: If you were riding for the Golden Orchard at top speed, you would pass through Castle Torch. In other words, the direction you are heading is the direction towards the Orchard as well. Actually, Castle Torch is where you, if anything, you're taking a circuitous route to get back to Dol-Makjar. Does that make sense? You go to Castle Torch because the Tiria Via is a safer path through the desert. There's a straight shot. Who knows, Alogar may have gone straight through the desert to Dol-Makjar, but going straight through the desert is, as you suffered those attacks from shadows and other things, going through the desert is not a wise proposition, so the Tiria Via ends up being a safer way to traverse, if that makes sense. So you would go to Castle Torch to get to the Orchard the fastest, and you would go to Castle Torch just to get out of the Endless Night the safest.
MATT: (huffs) I suppose since we sent Aranessa to the Orchard, if we stop at Castle Torch, see if there's been any sign of any sort of issues or incursion.
ALEXANDER: Or if she sent a message.
AABRIA and ASHLEY: Mm.
MATT: Well, I would request a hasteful pursuit.
ALEXANDER: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
BRENNAN: In that case, if you're trying to go with all speed, do you take time to review what you took from the barracks here?
ALEXANDER: I think so.
BRENNAN: Okay. You find evidence of troop movements. Things kept in ledgers. You know, it's a little bit of detective work, but seeing where supplies are shipped, you don't find a war room with little pieces on it, but it's easy enough to go: You don't send wagons full of food to a place that doesn't have soldiers there, right? People were stationed at the Orchard, and you see a lot of activity in a Timmonish city called Houndsport. It looks like there are soldiers there that were moved quite recently.
AABRIA: Is there a way to ascertain from the amount of supplies being diverted there to figure out how many troops are supposed to be at the Orchard?
BRENNAN: A quite significant amount of troops at the Orchard.
AABRIA: Okay.
BRENNAN: You see, something you took from the basilisk room, there's some missives there about petrification and making the anti-venom.
ALEXANDER: Right, I have two vials of it.
BRENNAN: You see, there's one thing that strikes you as odd there, which is a little line in a missive written by, you know, a knight that works with your cousin's family named Aniko Seremai that just says, "We learned this little trick at Obrimus." Obrimus, to you, would be the name of your family's manor in Dol-Makjar. So, "We learned this little trick at Obrimus." Unbelievably, Vaelus, you find amongst some of the supplies, you grabbed a bag of documents from the basilisk chamber. There's a small sprig of holly. Can you give me a nature check?
ASHLEY: Yeah. Let's go with this one. Oh, okay. 19.
AABRIA: Let's go!
BRENNAN: This sprig of holly grows in the Mournvale. A plant much like this one grows right outside the gates of your abbey in the Mournvale. You have this holly on the grounds of your temple.
ASHLEY: Hmm.
ALEXANDER: Is something wrong?
ASHLEY: No. I-- This is grown outside of my temple in the Mournvale.
ALEXANDER: Why would they have that?
ASHLEY: I don't know.
AABRIA: Taking a look at that.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Yeah, I just pass it to Thaisha.
AABRIA: I'll let you hold onto it.
ASHLEY: Okay.
AABRIA: And I want to do a check. Can I cast Speak with Plants?
BRENNAN: Yeah.
AABRIA: Cool. I want to ask it if it's like the plants that grow outside of your abbey or the plant that grew outside your abbey.
ASHLEY: Cool. (snickering)
BRENNAN: Da, da, da.
BRENNAN and AABRIA: (laugh)
AABRIA: Come on, German holly plant. (laughter)
BRENNAN: I love it.
ALEXANDER: Is this from Castle Klippenblicke? (laughter)
BRENNAN: I'm going to say that-- We have not talked about this, but there are some, I'd like a nature or religion check from you.
AABRIA: Never religion. Yeah. 23.
ASHLEY: Fuck yeah! (laughter)
BRENNAN: You cast Speak with Plants, and here in the Barrowdell of Endless Night, a little residual piece of Speak with Dead. This dead plant before you--
AABRIA: Oh yeah.
BRENNAN: -- shudders and speaks. "Great joy do I feel, returned to the hand of a Sister of Sylandri."
AABRIA: Oh. Oh. Do you know the hand that holds you?
BRENNAN: "No, but I know the touch of those who mourn for the goddess that was."
AABRIA: I think in that moment, I'm not taking the plant. I'm staring adamantly at it, but I think I'm holding your hand holding the holly and giving you a live feed of what's being said. I think this is a plant. Sorry, one sec. This is from outside your abbey.
ASHLEY: Why is this here?
AABRIA: Hey, little bud. (laughs) Bud.
ALEXANDER: (laughs)
AABRIA: (laughs) Do you know who brought you here and for what purpose?
BRENNAN: The wind blows and the holly brushes your thumb ever so slightly, and you see it says, "I am not given to question where my mistress places me." You feel the spell end as this dead thing can no longer communicate with you, but on that last brush, you feel it brushing your thumb and get a residual feeling of a spell that you've cast of lot. This holly has known the touch of the magic you've been casting on Alogar's earring quite a bit.
AABRIA: Oh! Oh. Okay. It's been used as a conduit for a Locate Object spell. I--
ASHLEY: Oh wow.
ALEXANDER: Does that mean somebody--
ASHLEY: Should we keep it with us then?
ALEXANDER: I think yes. Possibly someone planted that on somebody to then track them, or, I don't know. They're using it to find something. I don't know. Why would that be used? Why would they use that specifically?
MATT: Could this have something to do with the Stone of Nightsong that they stole from your people?
ALEXANDER: Maybe, but Thjazi stole that.
BRENNAN: The last thing you find amongst these documents, Alex, is a letter written to Segundus, your uncle, by your sisters.
ALEXANDER: Petra and Ryah.
BRENNAN: Petra and Ryah, and if you'd be so kind. (gasping)
ALEXANDER: Nice.
AABRIA: Physical prop!
BRENNAN: Physical props!
AABRIA: Fuck yes!
ALEXANDER: Okay.
BRENNAN: Of the things you find here, the troop movements are the most significant leading to the Orchard into that. This is one of the last things you pull out and find here.
AABRIA: Sound it out.
ALEXANDER: Okay. "Uncle, we hope this letter finds you well and that Castle Torch's garrison proved sufficient to handle this last-minute improvisation. We must make all haste to Dol-Makjar, and from there, we head north to board the Moray and see forthwith beyond the Sea Door. Loath that we are to admit it, we find ourselves condemned to some degree of confusion. To wit, Father will not listen to our entreaties nor explain our sudden need for urgency. The failures in experimentation up to this point includes some very dear sacrifices, indeed, as you all are well aware. Are we certain we have isolated the possible risks? If Occtis is indeed the appropriate choice, why can we not suffer the few days it would take to transport him from Dol-Makjar to Tannesar? Are our forces truly so embedded within Telmora that they cannot be recalled stealthily and safely? We understand that Univere and Doset, almost done with their harvesting, have now been reassigned to retrieve the stolen calcidion. Is the Path itself not a more worthy target than the Orchard? Having split our family's forces between two extremely significant rituals on either side of the Reaches, it feels we are rushing, both when there's no need to rush either, or at least no reason that has been explained to us. What is time-sensitive, however, is the opportunity we have once the Timmonish king is dead." Oh. "That political opportunity, though non-magical and therefore perhaps boring to Father, is our most urgent cause. With 2/3 of the council on our side, this represents the single greatest chance we have to lay low the Grey Tower, at which point, we will no longer have to deceive the Barrowguard into doing anything, doubling our forces' access to the Barrowdells, answering the Kahad problem. Let us not make the mistakes of our great-grandfather and rely on magic to the exclusion of politics. Father will not listen to us. He may well listen to you given your recent demonstration of devotion. Please entreat him, if not to reconsider, then at least to explain why we are behaving so recklessly. Petra and Ryah Tachonis." Shit.
ASHLEY: Huh.
AABRIA: Well.
ALEXANDER: My sisters always were smart.
AABRIA: How are you doing?
ALEXANDER: (chuckles) Fine. It's kind of nice to know that maybe not all my family agreed with it.
AABRIA: Yeah.
MATT: What are they doing at the Sea Door?
ALEXANDER: What is the Sea Door?
MATT: A second ritual?
ALEXANDER: I don't know.
AABRIA: Isn't the second ritual, okay, sorry.
MATT: They cannot chance it closing, whatever it is.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
AABRIA: But was the split between the Sea Door and the Orchard, or the Orchard and Dol-Makjar?
ALEXANDER: It was-- (mumbles) "From there, we will head north to Moray, forthwith to the Sea Door." Where are we here? They're concentrating on killing the Timmonish king. "Having split our family's forces between two extremely significant rituals. The Path that's--" The Path. It's the other.
AABRIA: Yes.
ALEXANDER: Okay, so the Orchard and the Path are the targets.
AABRIA: The best I can tell, I mean, the gates to Faerie were closed because of a necromantic attack.
ALEXANDER: "Is the Path itself not more a worthy target than the Orchard?"
AABRIA: So they're not targeting the Path yet.
ALEXANDER: They're not targeting the Path. They're targeting the Orchard. What is the other one?
ASHLEY: Yeah, what's the other?
ALEXANDER: The other one was what they did.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
MATT: We're moving.
ALEXANDER: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
BRENNAN: And from there, we venture elsewhere-- (groaning)
BRENNAN: --in Aramán, on tonight's episode of Critical Role! (cheering)
AABRIA: Nice.
ALEXANDER: Goddamn!
Announcements
MATT: Hello, friends, and welcome back to the Critical Role Announcement Playhouse. (cheering)
LIAM: ♪ (fanfare) ♪
MATT: We have a new sponsor tonight, an exciting video game called "Fading Echo." Sam, why don't you tell the people about it?
SAM: I sure will. "Fading Echo" is a fast-paced, action adventure game where you play as One, a young legend able to transform into a living sphere of water as she fights the Paradox, a corruption tearing the world of Corel apart. You'll wield water as both movement and a weapon, manipulating your environment for combat, exploration, and 3D platforming. I know what some of these words mean. Flow through spaces in fluid form, traverse terrain, outmaneuver enemies, and solve challenges in dynamic, system-driven battle encounters. To show you how the fluid mechanic works, I was going to hold my breath and dunk my head in this fish bowl, and do the rest of the ad submerged.
TRAVIS: Please don't.
SAM: But that sounds dangerous. Should I? How can I make this decision? Hmm.
TALIESIN: Ah, yes. Yes. Do it! Press that beautiful puss of yours beneath the fluid! You'd definitely be able to hold your breath. (laughs maniacally)
SAM: Wow. I believe you, devil. I believe you. But I wonder if there's another opinion I should consider. Hmm.
MARISHA: Please, please don't be a dumb ass, Sam. The crew already hates you. You're going to get water all over the place. And if you make them clean this up, they're going to slash your tires. Again.
SAM: Hmm. The devil made a good point, but so did Marisha Ray. (laughter)
SAM: No fishbowl tonight, because Marisha wins. Okay, during the break tonight, "Fading Echo" will debut a brand-new trailer, featuring all sorts of great characters, including the main antagonist, Maddock, and we will reveal which one of the cast of Critical Role voices him. In fact, I want to play the trailer right now and spoil it early. But should I? What do you think, devil?
TRAVIS: Oh, jeez.
TALIESIN: Yes, yes, yes! Play it! Forget delayed gratification! NDAs are for losers! Just show it! (laughs maniacally)
SAM: Hmm. What about you, angelic Marisha Ray?
MARISHA: Yeah, I don't have a problem with that.
SAM: What? Aren't you supposed to disagree about everything?
TALIESIN: I mean, we usually do, but it's not, like, mandatory.
MARISHA: Yeah, I mean, the devil and I actually have a lot in common. See, watch this. Favorite ice cream flavor? Cherry Garcia!
TALIESIN: Cherry Garcia! (laughs) Oh, favorite reality show? "Dance Moms!"
MARISHA: "Dance Moms!" (laughter)
MARISHA: Oh, oh, what's your Myers-Briggs? ENFP!
TALIESIN: ENFP! Samesies!
MARISHA: Oh my god!
TALIESIN: (laughs)
MARISHA: Oh my god, you know what, devil, you're okay. Do you want to actually like, I don't know, get out of here? Go like, grab some margies?
TALIESIN: Sure. But I'm keto.
MARISHA: Oh.
ASHLEY: (laughs)
MARISHA: Me too!
MARISHA and TALIESIN: (squeal-laugh) (laughter)
SAM: Well, I guess "Fading Echo" brings people together. And aside from the mystery reveal later, the game features several voice-over actors from the Critical Role community, like Samantha Béart as One, the game's protagonist, Jasmine Bhullar as Rahne, One's mother, Laura Bailey as Vellum--
ASHLEY: Woo-hoo!
SAM: -- the mysterious AI guiding the players, Liam O'Brien as Cayrn.
LIAM: Hi.
SAM: And me, Sam Riegel, as Bob, the best character in the game.
TRAVIS: Is that right?
SAM: Join the adventure. Wishlist at bit[.]ly/crecho. Follow "Fading Echo" on Steam, Epic Games Store, PlayStation Store, and Microsoft Store for Xbox, and connect to the official "Fading Echo" Discord to follow development and join the community, and don't forget to check out that new trailer during the break, featuring all of these amazing voice actors. You might even hear someone else here at the table if you watch the trailer during the break.
ASHLEY: Oh!
SAM: Someone else. Matt, back to you.
MATT: Thank you so much, Sam. Our next sponsor tonight is Elderbrain. If you're looking for your next truly epic campaign, "Spawns of the Mindrender" is a massive 600-page sandbox adventure for Dungeons & Dragons 5e set in the brutal mountain realm of Vordan. You'll explore a vast land of warring clans, lost giant empires, and branching storylines that evolve based on your party's choices. As the influence of Shandar the Mindrender spreads, players must confront sanity-warping horrors, forbidden relics, and the terrifying truth behind a realm on the brink of collapse. Built for long-term play, this campaign is packed with unique monsters, locations, subclasses, and countless ways to shape your own legend. You can even become immortalized in the book as an NPC, using your own likeness! Which is crazy. ALL: What?
MATT: The crowdfunding campaign is live now on BackerKit, by going to sotm.elderbrain.com, with early board, orly board? (Swedish accent) With early board rewards available for one more day. ALL: Orly board.
MATT: One more day only, including a Mimic Siege Engine Dice Tower. Big thanks to Elderbrain for sponsoring this episode.
TRAVIS and LIAM: (Swedish) Early board.
MATT and ASHLEY: (Swedish) Early board.
MATT: (Swedish) Hey, Travis, you're up next, board.
TRAVIS: Oh no! This is where I have to take over for Laura again. (like Laura) Oh my gosh, you guys. We have the best stuff in the Critical Role shops. Check out, she doesn't sound like that. Check out this super cool, oh, this is the one, Aramán long-sleeve team jersey shirt.
LIAM: So metal!
ASHLEY: I love this so much.
TRAVIS: There's a little thing on the other side. It's so cool.
ASHLEY: Love a scary jersey.
TRAVIS: I should really read this. It's an oversized, mineral wash, long-sleeve shirt with distressed seams, dropped shoulders, and a relaxed sports jersey fit. The shirt features bright red puffy paint details across the chest, sleeve, and back with the united factions symbol on the front, Aramán down the sleeve, and "Can you hear the falcon's cry?" on the back.
ASHLEY: Hell yeah.
TRAVIS: It feels really good. It's all textured and stuff. Plus, an illustration of a blindfolded Thjazi Fang beneath the city of Dol-Makjar by Hannah Friederichs. And that's not all. We've got three new Heroes of Aramán-- ALL: Whoa!
TRAVIS: -- fashion tees!
LIAM: Oh!
MARISHA: Each teamsies.
TRAVIS: These are so bitchin'.
ASHLEY: Oh, cool!
MATT: That's my team.
TRAVIS: The artists' credits, the Schemers' art is by MAF, Seekers' art is by Cato Choi, and the Soldiers' art is by Myrmidia. You've got to head on over to the Critical Role shops to pick up one or all of these awesome shirts for your very own.
LIAM: All of them! (cheering)
MARISHA: Yes.
MATT: Ah, Falconer's Rebellion. That's for dummies. (laughter)
MATT: That's what I think. For all you Daggerheart players out there, the Daggerheart core set has come to the gorgeous and cinematic VTT Alchemy. Finally. Get the Alchemy-enhanced version and experience the game like never before, with immersive motion- overlays, ambient sounds, and original dynamic audio score for your games at home. Get it today at alchemyrpg.com/daggerheart.
SAM: Sick.
TRAVIS: Nice.
MATT: Also, speaking of Daggerheart, we're almost at our one-year milestone since the game came out! It's been almost a year!
SAM: That's seven years in TTRPG years!
MATT: Yes. (laughter)
MATT: It certainly feels like it. In honor of this anniversary, you are all invited to celebrate Daggerheart's birthday week with us, May 18th through the 25th. So look forward to a new, free adventure to play at Darrington Press Guild Stores, and we'll also be hosting a celebratory livestream with the team on May 20th with reveals of what's to come in the Hope and Fear expansion, as well as a sneak peek into what's next for Daggerheart and much, much more. Plus Critters coming to Atlanta for the Bells Hells Daggerheart Live Show can join a massive Daggerheart game day on May 25th at our Darrington Press Guild Store, Level Up Games. It's going to be awesome. So please visit daggerheat.com/bday for all of the info of what's to come. (cheering)
SAM: I didn't get Daggerheart a present for their birthday.
MATT: You got a little bit of time. Jump in there real fast.
SAM: Okay.
MATT: I think you can do it.
TRAVIS: They won't even notice.
MATT: Ashley, Taliesin, you got some announcements.
TALIESIN: Yeah, "Weird Kids" is back! Yeah!
ASHLEY: Woo!
TALIESIN: Yeah, you should watch or listen to brand new episodes, we're so good at this, every Tuesday, only on Beacon.
ASHLEY: We are so excited--
TALIESIN: Yeah.
ASHLEY: -- to share with you all, new weird topics and anecdotes, and friend joining us on our orange booth.
TRAVIS: And friend?
MARISHA: And friend. Single friend. Friend.
LIAM: Just the one.
TALIESIN: We made one. We made one and you haven't met them yet. (laughter)
ASHLEY: I'm keeping it a secret for the moment because that's how it is. Oh my god! And okay, wait, this is so cool.
MARISHA: Dream project. Dream project.
ASHLEY: Dream project.
MARISHA: Finally realized.
ASHLEY: Guys, we made a zine.
TALIESIN: There's a zine. We have a zine.
ASHLEY: So you can go check it out now at beacon.tv/wkzine.
SAM: Andrew WK zine?
ASHLEY: Andrew WK zine, yes. And it's awesome.
TALIESIN: It's really cool.
ASHLEY: It's so cute. Go see it. There's so many people that worked on it, and put such love and weirdness into it.
MARISHA: And some stuff from your childhoods.
TALIESIN: There's some fun stuff.
MARISHA: Little Easter eggs?
ASHLEY: Yeah, little Easter eggs.
TALIESIN: Little stuff.
ASHLEY: It's fun.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: Hell yeah. Thank you guys so both. That's not a sentence.
LIAM: So both.
MATT: So both. Thank you guys so both.
MARISHA: So both.
TRAVIS: Thank you so both.
MATT: You both, so both.
TALIESIN: This is not the "Weird Kid" friend. This is not the friend. Not the friend.
MATT: Aurora. Marisha, you're up.
MARISHA: A friendly reminder that there will be no new episode of Campaign 4 next week as we wrap up our Schemer Table's arc.
LIAM: No, surely not. No!
TRAVIS: No!
MARISHA: Wait, I'm trying to do--
TALIESIN: That got real weird.
LIAM: I don't know.
MARISHA: I'm trying to do my nails. I don't know. But I just started doing this.
LIAM: What are we doing now?
TALIESIN: I think that explains a few things that were going on there.
TRAVIS: A real technique.
LIAM: Stop digging!
SAM: Ah.
TRAVIS: Smack it, smack it.
MARISHA: Anyway. (laughs) You can join us for the next "Tale Gate" live on May 19th at 7:00pm Pacific where we'll be spilling all the tea and deep dive into the Schemers with myself, Luis Carazo, Liam O'Brien.
LIAM: Oh hoy, hoy.
MARISHA: And Tali-- Taligin Jaffe. (laughs) (laughter)
TALIESIN: There was a whole thing that happened before this.
TRAVIS: Wow! Wow!
TALIESIN: It worked.
MARISHA: Chaligin Gaffe.
TRAVIS: I think everything's all right.
LIAM: Do not spend too much time under the Talogen lights. You will get messed.
TRAVIS: Talogen lights.
TALIESIN: Those horns, cut off your circulation real bad. Which is why I gave them to you.
MARISHA: They actually kind of do.
TRAVIS: We got to finish this!
MATT: Go, go, we're almost there!
MARISHA: Okay, we will be back with the full table, actually, on May 21st as our fated conspirators converge and the far flung adventurers of Aramán reunite.
ASHLEY: Whoa!
MARISHA: You can find everything you need and more to catch up, dive deeper, or get a quick refresher at critrole.com/campaign4.
TRAVIS: Campaign 4.
MATT: Awesome. Thank you, Marisha. Liam, you're up next. There's so many!
LIAM: There's even more. We are celebrating the second anniversary, also, of Beacon, the beacs, this weeks. It has truly been so lovely to have a dedicated community space with all of you lovely Critters, and you guessed it, we're just getting started. Look forward to a dedicated Beacon discount day at our Critical Role shops, and a new "Fireside Chat" with me and Sam Rieg, next Tuesday, May 12th at 7:00pm Pacific. Go to beacon.tv/stateoftheapp for all of the Beacon bit benefits you can expect in 2026.
SAM: Thank you so both.
MARISHA: Two years is like 40 years in SVOD years.
TRAVIS: Oh wow.
ASHLEY: Wow.
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Jeez.
SAM: Didn't get them a present.
MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)
MATT: Well, friends, thank you for your patience, as we made our way through its own episode within an episode of these opening announcements.
LIAM: It is just friend.
MATT: It is, just friend. Thank you, one friend, watching this. With that, let's go ahead and jump into our night's adventures in Aramán.
LIAM: Aramán.
TALIESIN: ♪ Aramán! ♪
♪ (Campaign Four title theme) ♪
Part I
BRENNAN: Gus! Folks, welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role here at the Archanade.
LIAM: Yo! (cheering and pounding)
BRENNAN: Our schemy Schemers have been scheming away, and the fomenting seeds of insurrection, sedition, and dare I say, rebellion--
MARISHA: Woo! Fomenting.
LIAM: Woo!
BRENNAN: -- bubble under the-- Fomenting. God, I love to foment.
MARISHA: So good (laughs).
BRENNAN: I love a good fomenting.
TALIESIN: I just fomented. I'm ready to foment again in three to five minutes.
LUIS: Oh no! (laughs)
BRENNAN: We--
LUIS: That's good. (chuckles)
BRENNAN: Soldiers released from Revolutionary Guard and Sundered Houses alike find themselves directed to warehouses of Hand and Wheel ceramic merchants, finding food and some small amount of pay to keep the fires lit inside. A symbol, a passphrase. Demodus Blix, graduate student of the Penteveral, rescued from the clutches of Crow Keepers, Fae, and Tachonis alike, knows what happened on the night of the Davinos massacre and has the magic notes to prove that Royce did not abscond to Faerie. Inspector Groto informed the Einfasen of a lie that concealed the truth of who was at fault for the murder of Occtis Tachonis. And KoTher'ai's opening night is two nights away, which is what we gathered here at Bolaire's Lloy Wing of the Archanade to celebrate! (groaning)
BRENNAN: The Rookery was the first home of Hal and his troupe, following that, it performed for many years at the Lyceum here at the Archanade. What better place to celebrate, raise some funds, get some excitement, and just speed on Halandil Fang with his incredible new venture of Dol-Makjar's first full amphitheater. What was supposed to be a night of culture and revelry--
TALIESIN: This is not how I wanted to raise the funds. (laughter) This is bad. This is raising them.
LUIS: You can always loot whatever dead bodies--
TALIESIN: Apologies.
LUIS: -- are there. You know, just--
MARISHA: (laughs) Yeah.
LUIS: Donate it to the theater.
MARISHA: It's for charity.
LUIS: (laughs) Yeah.
BRENNAN: Your group, your little Magpies fluttering around behind the scenes, have begun to develop pieces on the board. Soldiers, friendly merchants raising money, and unraveling the secrets of what is to come, along with your own steps putting together soldiers and merchant allies and academics and students that have been living on couches for almost a week now. You also were able to use Romina Rountree to find out that the Sundered Houses will be meeting on the night of the play, perhaps for House Tachonis to answer all of this horrifying bloody work that has been going on in the background. You, however, have been trying to get this party, and Bolaire put a lot of work into these masks. And the Photarch very rudely did not wear hers, and instead got into a kerfuffle with King Augustus Valian of Timmony; who, long ago, wished to depart the city, but had not been able to pin down the Photarch for a meeting about why exactly her priests are openly calling him a tyrant in his kingdom. Being pulled aside into a banquet chamber off in one of the halls at the Archanade, we find ourselves set out in this arrangement. Gus speaking to the Photarch down here, Sir Filoneus positioned outside. You all have split up into your various ways and I'm going to hand you your minis.
LUIS: Okay!
BRENNAN: I will let you know where you guys would be stationed, more or less. So number one, Bolaire and Azune, you would've brought through a back channel-- The main party space is way out over here. It's probably two or three rounds of full dashing over that way.
LUIS: Okay.
BRENNAN: You guys were able to bring them through this hallway to this room where they've closed the doors over here. So--
LUIS: Oh, okay.
BRENNAN: Azune and Bolaire, you guys are positioned over here. Bolaire, the last thing you heard was the (finger snaps) cock of a bolt being loaded into a crossbow--
TALIESIN: Fuck.
BRENNAN: -- distantly down this hallway. The doors have closed around you. Now, we have to resolve a couple things first and then I'll let you ask me as many questions about the battlefield as you want. So, Murray, you are in the room, invisible. Where in the room invisibly are you?
MARISHA: Excellent question. Okay. I imagine she would've done her little scuttle, skitter, and probably be, let's say I'm over here, behind this pillar.
BRENNAN: Behind this pillar?
MARISHA: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Great. Great, great, great. We're going to give you a little invisibility token over there.
MARISHA: Peeking around this pillar, listening in on what's happening.
BRENNAN: Listening in on what's happening. Are there any questions you guys have about the nature of the miniatures that are out here?
TALIESIN: Who's whom?
LUIS: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Gus and Gus's attendant druid, along with Marten, who appears to be the leader of his Hounds of the King who are here with him. So Marten is to his side and druid is right there. Then across from them here is the Photarch and one of her attendant Luxes. Her son, Filoneus, is with Wrath and Judgment on the other side of the door.
LUIS: The Photarch's son?
BRENNAN: That is Sir Filoneus Halovar.
LUIS: Yeah. Oh, yes. I mean, I knew who he is. I didn't put together that he was the Photarch's son.
BRENNAN: Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes.
LUIS: Or maybe I forgot. I've--
BRENNAN: These dudes keep it in the family. So Filoneus is Wick's uncle.
LUIS: That's it. Yes. Yes, I do remember that.
BRENNAN: Ba, ba, ba.
LIAM: And wait, Tyranny's sisters are here?
MARISHA: No, Wrath and Judgment are the dogs.
LIAM: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
BRENNAN: Wrath and Judgment are the dogs. Invisibility right here on Murray.
LIAM: Right, right, right, right, right, right.
BRENNAN: Reminder also that you guys have some potions of healing. You guys also have the spell glyphs that you were able to make.
TALIESIN: Oh, yeah, it's up.
MARISHA: Shield glyphs.
LUIS: And See Invisibility.
TALIESIN: See Invisibility glyph, have I cracked it or no?
BRENNAN: No.
LUIS: You haven't cracked it.
BRENNAN: I will let you guys know we are going to resolve-- Are there any other questions about-- Oh, then over here--
LUIS: Yes, that's my question.
BRENNAN: -- this is Cavalier, another Hound of the King.
LUIS: Okay.
BRENNAN: And two Timmonish knights. So these are two of King Gus' knights
LIAM: With Gus, Timmonish knights. Okay.
LUIS: Okay.
LIAM: Are there more partygoers that are just not represented on the map?
BRENNAN: Many more. Partygoers, partygoers. Some partygoers over there.
LUIS: Oh, these are partygoers?
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: But there's not--
TALIESIN: Another room.
LIAM: -- another imaginary 100 people mixed in? We're not that packed in amongst people?
BRENNAN: Oh no, no. They wanted privacy.
LUIS: Yes.
BRENNAN: There are probably 200 people back in the main gala chamber that way.
MARISHA: Downstairs.
LIAM: Which is where I am.
BRENNAN: Which is where you are, Hal.
LIAM: Got it.
BRENNAN: And I'm going to give you your mini.
LIAM: Yes.
BRENNAN: And I'm going to do a couple things before we get started. You're out in the main gala chamber and we have to resolve some stuff beforehand. So I'll say this. Bolaire, we are going to enter initiative, but because of that high perception roll, I am going to, pre-initiative, not give each of you a full turn.
LUIS: Okay.
BRENNAN: So no movement. But I'm going to give each of you, basically, an action prior to initiative beginning.
LUIS: Oh!
MARISHA: Okay.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
MARISHA: Wait, for--
TALIESIN: Just an action, not a full turn?
BRENNAN: Just an action, not a full turn.
MARISHA: Bolaire or--
LUIS: The both of us.
MARISHA: Both of you. Okay.
LUIS: Okay.
MARISHA: That's good.
TALIESIN: And do I see our crossbow problem?
BRENNAN: You don't see the crossbow problem.
LIAM: Holy shamoley.
BRENNAN: As you guys are considering what you want to do, it's an instinctive click and you get to do one thing before we launch into initiative.
MARISHA: And this is the Photarch, and this is the Photarch's hand or something next to her?
BRENNAN: Yes, that is an attendant Lux of the Photarch.
MARISHA: An attendant Lux. So much going on.
TALIESIN: Shit. Okay. Tricky, tricky, tricky. The Son's over there. Okay. Yeah.
BRENNAN: I will also say now, at this point, while you guys are thinking of those actions, Murray and Hal, I'm going to need a perception check from each of you.
MARISHA: Okay.
LIAM: Mm-hmm.
BRENNAN: Also an insight check from each of you.
LIAM: Perception and insight.
BRENNAN: Perception and insight.
MARISHA: Let's do this one first.
LIAM: Okay.
MARISHA: Perception first. (chuckles) Natural one.
BRENNAN: Natural one on perception. Great.
MARISHA: I'm really invested in this conversation right now.
LIAM: Nice. Oh, I rolled real high, both times.
MARISHA: Insight is much better.
LIAM: Huh.
MARISHA: My insight is 20, dirty 20.
BRENNAN: Dirty 20 on insight. Incredible.
MARISHA: What a swing.
LIAM: I got 22 for both.
MARISHA: Whoa.
BRENNAN: 22 for both. Okay.
LIAM: Rolled an 18 and a 17.
BRENNAN: 22 for both.
LIAM: ♪ Advantages to both ♪
BRENNAN: 22 for both? Incredible. So we are going to describe a couple things that happen.
LUIS: Mm-hmm.
BRENNAN: On that 22 perception and insight, Hal, out in the main room, you just, I think in schmoozing and talking, Elodie's nearby, you are aware of a partygoer dressed in a minister's garb who you can see has a sheep-like mask over their head, who is engaged in some polite dinner conversation. I think you notice, through the crack of your eye, down a long hallway, you have partial visibility to that door on that side.
LIAM: This door?
BRENNAN: This one over here. You're way off at an angle over there. And as that door shuts, you see that person in that mask has been rudely not paying attention to the people they're speaking with. That door shuts, and you see that person turn, look down, and mutter a quick, "Excuse me," and move away from the group they're with--
TALIESIN: Oh.
LUIS: Oh no.
BRENNAN: -- and begin to move off away from the party. On that 22 insight, they seem very distracted to you, and it's a lively party. There's a lot of stuff going on, but I think that you get some sense, as they're moving away, that they are muttering under their breath a little bit. And there just appears to be something altered. Party just started. No one's drunk yet.
LIAM: Okay.
BRENNAN: But there seems to be an altered state with that person.
LIAM: All right, I have a couple of questions.
BRENNAN: Yeah-huh.
LIAM: One is, my allies, my friends have moved in under duress, so I have an inkling that things are already getting tense elsewhere, right?
BRENNAN: You have an inkling that they-- Actually, at this point, on 22 insight, you don't see anything-- The only tension you'd be aware of at this point is the general tension between Gus and the Photarch, and them having shuttled them off to go have a private room somewhere.
LIAM: So I'm somewhere down here and I could see all the way down to this hall, so I can see Wrath and Judgment and Filoneus?
BRENNAN: Yes, you can.
LIAM: And just for clarity, the door that closed, it's that one or a different door?
BRENNAN: It looks like they were closing all the doors in the chamber to have some privacy.
LIAM: Okay. And I saw a person head towards this--
BRENNAN: Bizarrely, you saw someone head away from this. There was someone watching the door and it was only for the timing of it that it struck you as odd, that the door clicked and the person went, "Sorry," and began to move away quickly.
LUIS: Moved away.
LIAM: Okay, okay, okay.
LUIS: Not towards.
BRENNAN: Moved away, not towards.
LIAM: Then the last question for those, the 22 perception/insight, did I see the golden bird motif that Bolaire put into masks for all friends or no?
BRENNAN: This lamb mask has no bird motif, not a friend.
LIAM: Okay. Okay.
BRENNAN: And actually, on the 22 perception, I'll give you something else. The minister's garb they're wearing, they are an Argosian minister.
LUIS: Ah.
MARISHA: That's your shit.
LUIS: No. Argosian? No.
BRENNAN: Argosia is the country--
LUIS: Timmony's enemy.
BRENNAN: Timmony's enemy.
MARISHA: Timmony's emmony (enemy).
LIAM: In the last game--
LUIS and MARISHA: Timmony's emmony.
LIAM: Last game, you mentioned some Argosian knights in our presence.
TALIESIN: They were a lamb--
BRENNAN: In your presence.
LUIS: Timmony rebelled against them.
BRENNAN: You look around and do not see those Argosian knights anywhere.
LIAM: Okay.
TALIESIN: Shit.
LIAM: Okay, okay.
MARISHA: Bro is about to get assassinated.
LUIS: Yes!
MARISHA: It's going to be bad, you guys.
TALIESIN: How are we going? Are we going--
LUIS: Fuck.
TALIESIN: -- Russian royalty or are we going "Hail, Caesar!"? Let's find out. Well, Augustus, oh no.
MARISHA: (chuckles)
BRENNAN: As all of that happens--
LIAM: Sorry, one last question.
BRENNAN: Yes.
TALIESIN: I know.
LIAM: Is he walking down a secluded path? Is he walking away from the crowds, that individual?
BRENNAN: I will say, we had that whole conversation that Gus and the Photarch had in this room after the doors closed. There's a little bit of time that we're covering for Hal out in the party right here. You see that minister walk out. By the way, as he walks away, you see a swishing lion's tail behind him as he's walking. He may be a Nama. He may be similar to Teor.
MARISHA: Nama, okay.
LIAM: Okay.
BRENNAN: As he walks, you see that he opens a side door just off of the main gala, and barks something. You see him go like, "Ah, I need the room," to someone else. You actually see Hero walk out of that room, your daughter. Walk out of this little side chamber with a bunch of papers and stuff in her arms as she walks away from that room, and he closes the door behind her. She looks around nonplussed, looks up at you and walks over, and goes, "Dad, sorry, I got bored of the party and I got back to organizing the cards for a lot of the magical objects."
LIAM: That's perfect. Let's disperse them amongst the partygoers.
BRENNAN: "Oh, like factoid cards?"
LIAM: Yes.
BRENNAN: "Awesome. Yeah, okay." And you see she goes and begins to start putting a little fun fact stuff around as you see the door is closed behind that minister who goes into that private library.
LIAM: Okay, and I'm just trying to get-- Sorry, the mind space is everything. I'm trying to get an idea of how busy is the area around that door that he just went into?
BRENNAN: It looks like probably the quietest area visible. Like, he went to the most private, quietest area he could.
LIAM: Okay, okay, okay. No more questions.
BRENNAN: No more questions, you got it. No more questions. Great. Murray, on that insight, as they sit down, you see servants have laid out some food and beverage for everybody, completely rote. You see Gus hands the goblet to the druid behind him as he goes to take his seat again. Big, burly guy. He's got those hound's head pommel longsword on his side. He puts his shield against the table beside him. You see he goes, "Cyrus." Hands the goblet up. On a 20 insight, there's something really weird happening. Give me arcana with advantage based on that 20 insight.
MARISHA: Mm, pretty mid, but that's going to be a dirty 20 for me.
BRENNAN: That's mid? (laughs)
MARISHA: Mid roll.
BRENNAN: Mid roll.
MARISHA: I'm good at arcana.
BRENNAN: Good at arcana. Murray, you see that the goblet is handed to the druid. The druid puts their hand over it. Light comes from their palm as they hand it back, and you see they say, "Clean, my lord," and hand it to Gus. Gus takes a swig, puts the goblet down, and says, "So the Council of Alcalds has come to your attention, Your Radiance. It seems to me none of the business of the Creed to-- (clears throat)"
MARISHA: No.
BRENNAN: On that dirty 20 arcana, you look over and see the residual magic. The druid next to Gus, that light that came out was the Druidcraft cantrip. It was a total cantrip.
MARISHA: False.
BRENNAN: It was a little blast of green light and nothing more, but you look up at that druid and on that 20 insight, the druid's eyes are completely vacant.
TALIESIN: Oh no!
MARISHA: Okay.
LUIS: Oh!
MARISHA: So, a little mind control. A little Suggestion probably happening. Little, some sort of influence happening.
BRENNAN: I think you believe that there's some influence on this druid. Clearly, Gus trusted this druid enough to hand his goblet to them.
TALIESIN: Who cast brownie?
BRENNAN: You see that Gus looks and goes, "(coughs uncomfortably)," looking over as Marten the hound looks over to the druid next to him. This is where we are going to enter initiative.
LUIS: Oh.
LIAM: Ah.
MARISHA: I just got goosebumps. I just got goosebumps!
TALIESIN: Fuck. We are fucked. We are fucked.
LUIS: Oh no!
BRENNAN: (laughs)
LUIS: Oh!
MARISHA: With these two still getting--
BRENNAN: I'm very sorry to the Schemers Table because your fights are also puzzles. (laughter)
MARISHA: It's good, it's good, it's good, it's good.
LUIS: Yes.
TALIESIN: Best escape room ever.
BRENNAN: Yeah. (laughs) Actions from Azune and Bolaire.
TALIESIN: Quick question. I'm trying to get a read on the face of that guard. Do they seem nervous, bored, the one that is closest to me as I'm walking up to them, so.
BRENNAN: Vigilant and alert is how you would describe them.
TALIESIN: Okay. I'm going to, and since I heard the click coming from down the hall--
BRENNAN: Down this hall over here, yup.
TALIESIN: I am going to loudly say, also, I clearly don't look like myself because I put on a very, very nice Rauwyn the trickster god. Historically accurate, not that anyone would know. Kind of the only one. And I have a human face underneath it at the moment, but I can do my voice. I'm going to say, "Sir, behind you!" and I'm going to click and break my See Invisibility--
BRENNAN: Spell glyph.
TALIESIN: Yeah, spell glyph.
BRENNAN: Unbelievable.
TALIESIN: And I have a very honest voice.
BRENNAN: Incredible. See Invisibility. Bam, it breaks. I'll also say, one of the nice benefits of the spell glyph for See Invisibility is, much like a potion, it does not require concentration.
LUIS: (gasps)
TALIESIN: It's why they're fun.
BRENNAN: So See Invisibility--
LUIS: Incredible.
BRENNAN: -- is on you. Bolaire, where are you? Okay, that's it. So you won't be able to move until your turn.
TALIESIN: Sure, but since I'd already been moving that way, I assume.
BRENNAN: Yes. That's great. You go, "Sir, behind you." You see that both knights turn and whip around to the other direction. Azune, your action.
LUIS: Okay. (babbles) I don't know. The stuff that happened over here, we're too far away to hear King Gus start to choke is what it seemed like it was--
TALIESIN: Oh, yeah, we're far.
BRENNAN: Yeah, you're not hearing that.
LUIS: We're too far away. We know that the meeting is happening over here. I am going to--
TALIESIN: Because I started to speed walk, so clearly I know some shit's happening.
LUIS: Yes, and I'm next to you. Do I see you crack that?
TALIESIN: Oh, well, oh yeah. It would've just been in my hand like a coin snap.
LUIS: I need to be able to see what's happening, too. I'm going to cast See Invisibility.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: What happens in my mind is I hear a memory from training with Thjazi and swords clinging, and I hear his voice saying, "Open your eyes," because I had been training with my eyes closed out of fear of getting struck, and my eyes open, to see what's invisible.
BRENNAN: Incredible. Both of you. (whooshes) Your eyes open to see what's invisible. We are going to move into initiative right now. Hell yes. Here we go. Okay. That's Hal. That's Bolaire. Da, da, da, and then we had four down here?
LIAM: Are we about to assassinate Archduke Ferdinand here? Is that what's going down?
TALIESIN: It's going--
BRENNAN: (laughs)
MARISHA: It's fully some World War I shit.
LIAM: Popping off, yeah.
MARISHA: It's fully fucking poisoning the duke.
TALIESIN: Which one's Rasputin now, at this point? We got to, yeah, pick our Anastasia and our Rasputin.
LUIS: We have to suck the poison out of his mouth.
LIAM: "I poisoned your wine!"
MARISHA: I am--
TALIESIN: Chalice from the palace.
MARISHA: -- a wizard. I am not a cleric. I am a dwarf, so I've got some poison resistance. Means nothing for him.
TALIESIN: And you have a potion at best.
MARISHA: I'm going to be dumping my fucking potion in this guy's mouth right now.
TALIESIN: What else are we going to fucking do?
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: I mean, that'll uninvisible you.
MARISHA: I know. Anything I do is going to uninvisible me.
TALIESIN: Which one's the cleric? Okay, he has a cleric, though. Oh no.
LUIS: He has a druid.
TALIESIN: He has a druid.
BRENNAN: Okay.
MARISHA: The druid is mind-controlled.
TALIESIN: I know. I'm making plans. Okay.
BRENNAN: Okay. Initiative breaks out. Rushing from behind this corner, armored, medium, scale or breastplate-wearing armor rushing around the corner. Black cloaks, crossbows, swords, a belt filled with potions, masked. Rush forward. They're going to rush here. This one takes a swipe from that Timmonish knight.
LUIS: Yes.
BRENNAN: Is going to get out here to this chamber.
MARISHA: These are Argonians?
LUIS: Yes.
LIAM: Argosians.
MARISHA: Or Argosians?
BRENNAN: They are not wearing any symbol you can see in this moment. These are just assassins.
MARISHA: But they're going for the Timmony-- Fucking shit.
BRENNAN: So I will say what happens here is this. I'm going to leave these two here. These two are going to rush over here.
LIAM: Knife's edge.
MARISHA: Knife's edge. Knife's edge. Knife's edge. (laughs)
BRENNAN: Da, da, da.
LUIS: Fuck.
MARISHA: I'm so fucked. I'm so fucked. I don't know what to do.
BRENNAN: So, you see crossbows loaded.
LIAM: Use your bursar powers.
BRENNAN: Several of these armored warriors rush up. (grunts) And take crossbows. (thunks) Crossbow bolts loaded, not with bolts, but with small, fletched sticks, and pouches on them fly out. You see a group-- (whooshes) A yellow dust that smells sweet like flower
BRENNAN: -- (rapid release) lands all throughout there. These two rush and fire towards Gus and you see five of them have these crossbows loaded with just these pouches on them. You see as the dust hits-- Da, da, da. Okay, there it is. As the dust cleared, (rapid attacks) they've all missed. No one hit anybody with those pouches, but you see as the dust clears for a second, the Hound of the King is on its side, going "(choked gargling)" Pawing at its nose as fast as it can. You smell sweet flowers and almost like, you know that garbage gets kind of sweet when it rots? A smell like that.
MARISHA: Like a little fermenting?
BRENNAN: The humans are unaffected by it, but you see this hound here--
LUIS: Oh.
BRENNAN: -- and this one down here are both--
LUIS: No!
BRENNAN: -- frothing at the mouth, their eyes wide, scratching with their paws at their nose.
TALIESIN: Motherfucker!
LIAM: John Wick mode activated.
LUIS: Dude!
MARISHA: Is this AoE hitting me?
BRENNAN: It is hitting you, and you do not need to roll a constitution saving throw.
LUIS: It's specific to them.
LIAM: Hounds.
BRENNAN: Unless Murray has the Scent ability, then you are okay.
MARISHA: Oh, it's overwhelming--
TALIESIN: It's only for the fucking--
MARISHA: The dogs.
LUIS: And the other two are unaffected?
BRENNAN: The Timmonish knights are unaffected. You see, however, these guys have-- Da, da, da. That's going to be-- Okay. That is a miss on those knights.
TALIESIN: God-fucking-damn it.
BRENNAN: That is a hit. You see that one of the Timmonish knights, this one right here, goes "(grunts)." Has a sword. Goes in under the armor into his ribcage. "(grunts)" As he buckles down. And this one right here, I said five crossbow bolts had pouches on them. One does not. It's the one you heard click. And this one right here raises up. Black crossbow bolt. (steadying breath, release, and strike) Into the Photarch's chest.
LUIS: What?!
MARISHA: (yelps)
LUIS: No, what? What's happening?!
TALIESIN: What? Oh, what?
LUIS: Whose side is--
TALIESIN: Wait.
LUIS: -- anybody on?!
MARISHA: Whose side is anybody-- Oh my god. I was about to throw a portent out. I'm so glad I did not.
BRENNAN: Murray, you look out and see the Photarch goes, "What is the meaning-- (grunts, chokes)" (thuds) And collapse to the ground.
TALIESIN: Oh no!
LUIS: It's crazy.
TALIESIN: This is complicated.
MARISHA: You know when the human brain, when you see something super horrific and it takes a minute for your brain to process what you're seeing?
LUIS: Yes.
MARISHA: That's happening to Murray right now.
LUIS: Slow download.
LIAM: Invisibly.
MARISHA: Yeah, yes, invisibly.
TALIESIN: Maybe we're all about to learn a valuable lesson. Maybe we should all back off.
LUIS: I was like, "Meh."
LIAM: Let him cook.
MARISHA: Yeah. The puzzle is do nothing.
LUIS: There is a party to go to.
MARISHA: (laughs)
BRENNAN: Hell yes.
TALIESIN: Just getting a handle on the situation's really hard.
LUIS: That changes so much.
MARISHA: Are the assassins with King Gus, or are they just a whole other third party?
TALIESIN: I think they're a third. I think someone is making a big play.
LUIS: Yes.
TALIESIN: I think someone's trying to clear the board.
MARISHA: Are these Tachonis assassins?
LUIS: I think they might be--
MARISHA: (laughs)
LUIS: -- because there's a setup. (laughter)
LUIS: Because who's going to be implicated? We'll talk later.
BRENNAN: Uninjured knight.
MARISHA: Timmony.
BRENNAN: Uninjured Timmonish knight reaches out and--
LUIS: Stealing my tactics.
BRENNAN: "(grunts)" Thuds a sword and goes, "My liege, Sir Marten!" Calls out--
TALIESIN: Oh good.
BRENNAN: -- and yells at the top of his voice.
MARISHA: Marten's the dog?
BRENNAN: Marten's the dog, who you see is collapsed on the ground.
LUIS: That's Marten down here.
BRENNAN: Marten down here.
BRENNAN: Murray, it is your turn. This is, as Lady Aranessa Royce would say, a dynamic and fluid situation.
MARISHA: (laughs)
BRENNAN: So, any questions? Any questions about what is going on?
TALIESIN: None you're going to answer.
LUIS: That's how I feel!
BRENNAN: You see Gus in the chair, clutching at his throat, looks as the Photarch hits the ground in front of him with a look of dismay and confusion, and is sliding out of his chair, reaching feebly at the sword at his waist as he hits the ground and looks eye-to-eye with Sir Marten, who is foaming at the mouth, eyes bulging. Murray, that is your turn.
MARISHA: For my turn, I want to go back to a week and a half ago where I'm just a teacher. (laughter)
LUIS: Remember!
MARISHA: Remember.
TALIESIN: We've all made some bad career choices here.
MARISHA: Okay, so Bolaire, you're in this hall over here.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MARISHA: You are--
LUIS: I'm in that hall there as well.
MARISHA: You're with--
LUIS: I escorted them here and then waited outside.
BRENNAN: And to help us out, I'm going to throw poisoned on--
TALIESIN: Excuse me.
BRENNAN: I think it's not a mystery for you that King Gus is currently poisoned.
MARISHA: Poisoned.
LUIS: The poisoned condition?
BRENNAN: The poisoned condition.
MARISHA: I'm dwarf enough to at least be able to recognize it.
BRENNAN: I think both hounds are as well.
LIAM: That's a sick individual to attack dogs, Brennan.
BRENNAN: (laughs) Hey. Dogs want to get in the mix and be characters, they got to fucking deal with it like we all do. (laughter)
LUIS: Take that, dogs!
MARISHA: (laughs)
BRENNAN: And, of course, some kind of effect on that druid over there.
MARISHA: Mind control situation.
BRENNAN: But Murray, it is your turn.
LIAM: Holy shit.
LUIS: I'm so sorry it's your turn.
MARISHA: I don't know what to do!
LUIS: I know. I'm so glad I'm not going first.
MARISHA: Why did I roll? I have bad initiative and I'm still first. Can I get a beat on what the attending is, for the Photarch's attending is doing right now?
BRENNAN: Yeah, give me an insight check. Hell yeah. Give me insight.
MARISHA: Okay. 19.
LIAM: That's good.
BRENNAN: 19.
LIAM: God, that was--
BRENNAN: On a 19, she looks and says, "Your Radiance!" And screams and looks like she is preparing a healing spell.
LUIS: Okay.
LIAM: (huffing)
LUIS: Okay.
TALIESIN: Hmm.
LUIS: Okay.
TALIESIN: No. Stop. Don't.
MARISHA: Okay. Is this door locked? This front door is locked? That this--
BRENNAN: Yeah. Well, it is closed, but they just closed it.
MARISHA: They just closed it.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MARISHA: I don't want to fuck up my invisibility yet.
LIAM: You are at ground zero of a major political assassination.
TALIESIN: I'm not helping.
BRENNAN: Murray, I will also say you can--
LUIS: You can go home.
BRENNAN: You can. You can go home. (laughter)
BRENNAN: You can go home. You can--
MARISHA: It's been a good Schemers run, guys. (laughter)
BRENNAN: You can absolutely go home. You look out and see--
TALIESIN: Fuck.
BRENNAN: You can delay your turn if you wish, right? But if you just go like, "I'm screwed. There's nothing I can do," you can. Obviously, time is of the essence. Something very bad is happening here, but, you know.
MARISHA: I'm going to see how I can do this. So, King Gus is face to stone, foaming at the mouth, looking at his dog, right? He's like--
BRENNAN: Yes.
MARISHA: -- messed up.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MARISHA: I would like, oh my god.
LIAM: Gods are dead.
MARISHA: I would like to, if I can, sneak over here. I am going to take my healing potion, and can I sneak over and basically palm the healing potion to King Gus's chest?
BRENNAN: Yes, you absolutely--
MARISHA: Because that's not, huh?
LUIS: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Yeah, you absolutely can. Yes.
MARISHA: Okay. So, yeah, I basically try it as much as I can. I don't want to be revealed, but I'm going to slip him a healing potion and see, and hopefully he grips it. That's what I do.
LUIS: That's an object interaction.
BRENNAN: Great.
LIAM: That is awesome, but that is wild to be sneaking into the middle of--
MARISHA: Everything.
LUIS: That's awesome.
LIAM: It's awesome.
LUIS: Way to fucking go.
MARISHA: Here you go, and then I'm going to palm him the healing potion and then go back and hide behind my pillar and wait. That's all I do.
BRENNAN: Okay. Killer.
LUIS: Dude!
BRENNAN: Great.
MARISHA: Does he grab it?
BRENNAN: You pass it to him. You see, yeah, as you put it on his chest, it suddenly just appears on his chest there and he holds it with no context for what's happening. But you see that he holds it. (grunting) And you see looks out and just grasps it, and you see he goes and hides it under the table, basically.
MARISHA: Okay, okay.
BRENNAN: But you got the healing potion to him.
TALIESIN: Okay.
MARISHA: A healing potion.
TALIESIN: Well, you know.
LIAM: Put an option on the table.
LUIS: Oh my god.
TALIESIN: Yeah. He hasn't gotten rid of it.
LIAM: Yes. King Gus.
LUIS: This is crazy.
BRENNAN: Photarch Yanessa Halovar. Death saving throw.
LIAM: What?
TALIESIN: What?!
LUIS: Do we care?
TALIESIN: Oh, that's a natural one. I know what that looks like!
LIAM: You one'd her?
TALIESIN: That's a natural one!
LIAM: (laughs)
TALIESIN: That's a nat one.
MARISHA: The Photarch? The Photarch?
LIAM: Yes!
BRENNAN: The Photarch! She's got three. She's got three death saves.
TALIESIN: Not anymore, though.
BRENNAN: Not anymore.
TALIESIN: That was two down.
MARISHA: She just dropped down two.
LUIS: I can't tell if I'm happy about this or not.
MARISHA: I don't know either. Tell me how I'm supposed to feel, Brennan.
TALIESIN: She should've worn the mask.
BRENNAN: Okay! We cut to--
TALIESIN: Not to be a dick about it.
BRENNAN: -- a lovely gala. Hal, you're out in the party, way the fuck far away.
LIAM: All right. Shaking this off. Shaking this off.
BRENNAN: Shake it off. Shake it off. You don't know this is going on.
MARISHA: Big John Travolta GIF happening right now.
TALIESIN: There's a beautifully rendered classical version of "Wonderwall" playing right now.
LIAM: All right, so--
LUIS: Oh no.
LIAM: So my bard-y senses are tingling.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
LIAM: I'm going to start, here's what I want to do.
BRENNAN: Yeah?
LIAM: Now, I can't see our invisible museum halls, but what I would like to do is start to move through the crowd and get away from the crowd towards that door. I'm hoping that there are, that the crowd thins out, and that there are pillars or other works of art that I could move behind briefly.
BRENNAN: Yeah. Yeah.
LIAM: And if I need to use one of my bonus-- Oh, I can't breathe. I can't breathe. If I could use my orc trait Adrenaline Rush, if I need to.
BRENNAN: Yeah. Yeah.
LIAM: To take the dash action so I can move faster and cover more ground. I want to move behind a sculpture or pillar, and I'm in a very gorgeous black suit with elaborate silver stitching and this silver fox mask.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: I want to move behind this object and come out with an unfurling. I'm going to cast Disguise Self and have a gray-green cloak unfurl over me. and the fox mask is replaced with, think of Salieri at the end of "Amadeus." A mask of Azgra appears, dark and severe and with a snarl on its face, and I present the appearance of a high-level security detail who is masked and patrolling the place.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: And I even use the magic of it to make my shoulders look broader. I'm a couple inches taller. I look a little more imposing.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: And I want to go up to that door.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: And as I approach it--
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: Do I hear anything?
BRENNAN: Give me a perception check.
LIAM: (sighs) That is 13.
BRENNAN: On a 13, through a closed door, you hear muttering, and this is in the little study that Hero just got kicked out of by this Argosian minister, but you hear. (murmuring) And it sounds urgent and distracted and hushed.
LIAM: (sighs) I'm going to open the door.
BRENNAN: We have discovered secret extra battlefield.
LUIS: What?!
TALIESIN: No! No! No!
LIAM: (laughs nervily)
LUIS: Is that good?
MARISHA: I know--
TALIESIN: That's the opposite of good!
BRENNAN: You think a Schemers fight happens in one place? No!
MARISHA: This isn't a fun secret.
LIAM: No.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LIAM: But I know that I can't just walk away from this room with whatever the fuck is going on in it.
TALIESIN: Marisha, this is turning into your proposal. I don't like it.
LUIS: Your daughter is in there?
LIAM: No. She walked out.
BRENNAN: She walked out.
LUIS: She walked out of the room.
BRENNAN: Hal, opening--
LUIS: Hal!
TALIESIN: It's the wrong dagger!
LUIS: Hal, you have it this round.
TALIESIN: The wrong dagger!
LUIS: Security, security, security!
BRENNAN: Opening the door, seated in this chair in this small study of the Archanade. By the way, this is like 250 feet away from this central--
TALIESIN: Fuck.
BRENNAN: It's other side of the main gala hall.
LUIS: So you're on your own!
BRENNAN: So, Hal, you're on your own, baby.
TALIESIN: Ah!
BRENNAN: As you open the door, you hear this is, the lamb's mask is off, and you see a beautiful golden, red-gold mane Nama lionfolk minister who seems regal, gentile, to the manor born. You see that he is in the chair and he goes, you see that his eyes are rolling back in his head, and he goes, "Remove the sword. Cast it aside. Remove the sword." And you see that, as the door opens, he stands up and goes, "Ah, I beg your pardon. Sorry. Just getting a moment's rest."
LIAM: I'm sorry, sir. This room is off limits to the general public.
BRENNAN: "Ah, very well."
MARISHA: Is it--
BRENNAN: "Sorry, sorry. Yes, please direct me. Sorry, I don't feel well. Could you get a cleric for me? I don't feel well."
LIAM: I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave, and I'm going to draw back the cloak and the Liar's Blade looks like a dark blade, a totally different appearance to it, and I put my hand on its hilt.
BRENNAN: Okay. Okay. You put your hand on its hilt. He looks and says, "No need for that. Please just leave me be." And I'm going to say it is your turn. This is your turn.
LIAM: Yes. Well, so I cast--
BRENNAN: and
LIAM: Disguise Self.
BRENNAN: So you move, so, okay. So that's going to be the end of your movement got you here. You look in and can see him as he turns around and goes, "I don't feel well! Leave me be!" And stands from the chair. That is--
LIAM: So if I've used my action--
BRENNAN: Yes.
LIAM: The last thing I'll do with my action economy--
BRENNAN: Yes.
LIAM: -- is close the door behind me.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LUIS: Mm-hmm.
LIAM: And say, "We're going to have a word," and that "word" reverberates through his skull, and I use Unsettling Words. As a bonus action, you expend one--
BRENNAN: Is this a cantrip or a level?
LIAM: It's neither. It is bard stuff.
BRENNAN: Okay, bard. Okay, awesome.
LIAM: As a bonus action, you expend one use of your Bardic Inspiration and choose a creature you see within 60. Roll the Bardic Inspiration die, a d6. That's a five. So they subtract that from the next saving throw it makes before the start of its next turn.
LUIS: Holy crap.
BRENNAN: Unbelievable. That is awesome. Okay.
MARISHA: What did you just cast?
BRENNAN: Great.
LIAM: Unsettling Words.
BRENNAN: Unsettling Words,
LIAM: It's a bard trait.
BRENNAN: He will subtract five from his next saving throw. Unbelievable. Please remember that. Bolaire, that is going to be your turn.
LIAM: Start of my next turn.
TALIESIN: I am going to make my way down that hall at full speed. Well, we'll see. How far can I get without breaking into a run?
BRENNAN: You can go--
LUIS: The first line.
BRENNAN: -- five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. That's your movement. That gets you right there. You see these assassins are blocking the hallway right now.
TALIESIN: They're blocking the hall?
LUIS: Okay.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Okay.
BRENNAN: 30 feet of movement gets you into melee with them.
TALIESIN: It gets me into melee. Oh, all right. Okay. That's fun. Let's-- I don't want to spend anything too exciting yet. I'm going to use my bonus action to put my hand behind my back and cast my sword.
BRENNAN: Okay.
TALIESIN: And then to the one in front of me--
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
TALIESIN: Are they holding swords, or--?
BRENNAN: Oh yeah. Swords out.
TALIESIN: Actually, not the one in front of me. The one to the side of me, I'm going to look, and just for a brief moment, they're going to almost see their own face in my face, like there's a mirror in front of them, a little twisted, and they're going to hear: Grovel. As I cast Command, and they're prone 'til the end of their next turn.
BRENNAN: So I believe with Command, they have to take the action. They can't do it immediately, can they?
TALIESIN: No. Let's see. "You speak a one-word command to the creature you can see within range. The target has to succeed on a wisdom saving throw or follow the command on its next turn." So.
BRENNAN: Okay.
MARISHA: I'm just freaking out, sorry. No, I wasn't going to--
TALIESIN: His wisdom saving throw?
BRENNAN: Wisdom saving throw is a 12.
TALIESIN: I don't think, where's my--
BRENNAN: I don't believe that passes.
TALIESIN: I don't think it does either. Oh, there it is.
LUIS: 14.
TALIESIN: 14.
BRENNAN: Okay, 14? Awesome.
TALIESIN: I'll have to do wisdom then.
MARISHA: You can take that.
BRENNAN: Great. Okay.
LIAM: We need them.
BRENNAN: Is this the one you're facing or the one next to him?
TALIESIN: Oh, the one next to me, because, since you're right there, I figured I'd give you a little bit, yeah.
LUIS: I'll give him a little something.
TALIESIN: Well, it gives you advantage. Because they're on the ground.
LUIS: Okay. Right. We'll be doing something a little different.
TALIESIN: Yeah. And also, oh, wait, that means they can't take an attack because they're prone, or--?
LUIS: They have to use half their movement to get up.
BRENNAN: He has to use his movement on his turn.
TALIESIN: Oh, in that case, since I'm still learning this one, I may just, if it's okay to change--
BRENNAN: Oh, sure. Yeah.
TALIESIN: Just drop it. And I'm going to have him drop his weapon, which he can do.
BRENNAN: Okay, sure, sure.
TALIESIN: I believe that's a perfectly reasonable-- Yes.
BRENNAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
TALIESIN: Yeah, it is.
BRENNAN: I'll allow him to drop it on his turn.
TALIESIN: Anything they're holding.
BRENNAN: Anything they're holding? Okay.
TALIESIN: Yeah, until the end of its next turn.
BRENNAN: Great.
TALIESIN: And that's what I got.
BRENNAN: Okay, that is your action. Awesome.
TALIESIN: And my bonus and my movement.
BRENNAN: As that goes into effect, the one right in front of you drops his blade, right?
TALIESIN: Yes. And the other one's got you coming up.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm. Okay.
LUIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
BRENNAN: Bolaire, that is your turn.
TALIESIN: It is. Where is my--
BRENNAN: Then that is going to be-- You see King Gus use, who is badly poisoned, takes his entire turn to heave an elbow onto the table and go to draw his sword. As he does, you see the druid next to him pulls the sword out of his grasp and tosses it to the ground.
TALIESIN: Fuck!
BRENNAN: As it clatters away.
LUIS: Okay. Snap out of it!
MARISHA: This fuck, you got to do something about this fuck.
BRENNAN: As the Lux shouts, you hear Filoneus Halovar go, "Mother!" Turn around and he goes to open the door, and, Murray, give me an arcana check.
TALIESIN: Oh, we are so fucked.
MARISHA: Why?
LUIS: He's not our enemy at this moment.
MARISHA: Okay. That's going to be a 22.
BRENNAN: Filoneus goes to open the door and you hear the familiar (buzzing) of magic--
LUIS: No! keeping the door shut.
TALIESIN: Fuck.
LIAM: Oh!
MARISHA: I asked if it was locked! I asked if it was locked! I had a feeling!
BRENNAN: And it wasn't.
MARISHA: And it wasn't. It was magically locked. Okay, okay, okay.
BRENNAN: (chuckles)
LUIS: There's ways to fix that.
MARISHA: There are ways to fix that.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: Holy crap.
BRENNAN: Okay, that's going to be-- Our hounds are completely incapacitated.
LIAM: Jeepers. Biggest dogs are outside.
LUIS: Okay.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: I'll have to hold on that.
BRENNAN: Okay. Oh, he's fucked. Hold on. Okay. You see that this minister stands up and is going to attack you, Hal. He raises a paw up.
LIAM: With a paw, so it's a cat throwing at me.
BRENNAN: He's casting, yes. Paw up. And with a nat one, blasts the door. Second nat one of the combat. He unleashes a Fire Bolt cantrip (whoom) that slams into the wall behind you and he gets up and rushes back over here, trying to clear as much space from you as possible.
LIAM: Sure. Sure, sure.
BRENNAN: And then that's his turn; that's all he can do. Yeah, misses his attack roll. Bonus action. No bonus action from him. Okay. Azune, that's going to be your turn.
LUIS: Okay.
MARISHA: Oh wow. Oh, that was before Azune.
LUIS: Yeah, yeah, I'm very slow. Okay, okay.
MARISHA: So-- It doesn't matter, okay for now.
LUIS: I don't have my shield drawn. So I'm going to have to, because I'm not going to waste an action to draw my shield. So I am going to draw my warhammer--
BRENNAN: Yes.
LUIS: -- as I rush towards that empty space in between the guard.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: The one with the sword is a guard on the side of Timmony, right?
BRENNAN: Yes, the white cloak is Timmony.
LUIS: Yes.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LUIS: So I'm going to go after the one that is in between he and I.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: Next to that statue. I'm drawing my weapon as my object interaction. I'm wielding my hammer two-weapon.
BRENNAN: Gotcha.
LUIS: And I am going to Quicken Spell Booming Blade this guy.
BRENNAN: Hell yeah.
TALIESIN: Woo!
BRENNAN: Go for it.
LUIS: ♪ Doo, doo, doo ♪ ♪ Doo, doo, doo ♪ I am going to-- That is definitely going to miss. Do I use a Heroic Inspiration right now and reroll that? It's just an attack, let it go. That's my bonus action.
MARISHA: (laughs)
LUIS: So bonus action, cantrip--
BRENNAN: Gotcha.
LUIS: -- with Quicken Spell. For my action, these motes of fire start to gather around me, and they start to grow, and I'm going to (swoosh) absorb them.
BRENNAN: Cool.
LUIS: Let go of one hand. As that fire channels around my arm through my hand, (sizzle) I summon a Flaming Sphere.
BRENNAN: Okay.
MARISHA: Whoa!
TALIESIN: Going for it.
LUIS: Right--
MARISHA: Big guns.
BRENNAN: Whoa, Flaming Sphere, damn. Flaming Sphere, I believe, will break concentration on See Invisibility.
LUIS: See Invisibility does not require concentration.
BRENNAN: (gasp) I'm wrong, you're right. Very cool.
TALIESIN: Oh yeah, I have coffee.
LUIS: See Invisibility does not require concentration. Flaming Sphere, I'm going to place it right behind those two guys.
BRENNAN: Over here or right here?
LUIS: Right there.
BRENNAN: Okay, cool. Boom. Okay. Go ahead and give me your attack roll.
LUIS: It's not an attack roll.
BRENNAN: I'm sorry.
LUIS: It's going to be--
BRENNAN: Booming Blade is not?
LUIS: Booming Blade I missed.
BRENNAN: Okay, gotcha. All good.
TALIESIN: Womp, womp.
LUIS: My Booming Blade missed but my Flaming Sphere is active.
BRENNAN: Booming Blade is a bonus action?
LUIS: Because I Quicken Spelled it.
BRENNAN: Great, awesome, yes, yes, yes, love that.
TALIESIN: Ya-huh.
BRENNAN: Very good.
MARISHA: ♪ Sorcerers ♪
BRENNAN: Okay, great.
LUIS: And that's my turn.
BRENNAN: Okay. "Any creature that ends its turn within five feet of the sphere has to make a--"
LUIS: Dexterity saving throw.
BRENNAN: Okay, cool. Awesome. (flame roars) Fire raises up around you. Da, da, da. Okay. From there, we are going to move, Azune, is there anything else? So that's your bonus action, action. Are you saying anything? Do you speak at all as part of your turn?
LUIS: I'm not speaking.
BRENNAN: No? Cool, cool, cool.
LUIS: I don't want them to hear the sound of my voice.
BRENNAN: What I want you to do then, is I want you to roll a perception check.
LUIS: Okay.
BRENNAN: You're going to add plus four to this because you are rolling for Varen Kadorn. Difficulty is only a 10. It's a lot of shouting.
LUIS: Nine plus four is 13.
BRENNAN: Okay. Out in the main hall, as Felonious shouts, "Mother!" you hear Varen shout, "Back hall, upstairs!" You hear-- I cannot tell you how much you have changed your odds by remembering to hire security for this party.
MARISHA: (laughs)
TALIESIN: Boom.
BRENNAN: You hear Varen and the rest begin to rush up.
TALIESIN: Always think about that shit.
BRENNAN: Do me a favor, roll 2d4--
LUIS: Okay.
BRENNAN: -- and take the lower of the two.
LUIS: A four and a three, so it's a three.
BRENNAN: Three, okay. So as I said, a couple hundred feet away, they spend one of three rounds, they'll get here on the third round, cool?
LUIS: Oh, we wanted it to be really low.
MARISHA: You wanted lower.
TALIESIN: Shit. Bugger, bugger.
MARISHA: That's okay, that's okay.
LUIS: It's okay.
BRENNAN: So, rushing "(pants)" but you can hear the clank of the Magpies, the secret security guard that you've called coming here as fast as possible.
LUIS: Great.
BRENNAN: That is going to be back at the top of initiative. That's going to be our assassins.
TALIESIN: Fuck.
BRENNAN: Let's see here. Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 55, 60.
TALIESIN: At least he can't attack. Shit. Okay, okay, okay.
LIAM: That guy's scawy.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MARISHA: He's so scawy.
LUIS: Yeah, he's beefy.
TALIESIN: Harder they fall.
BRENNAN: Ta, ta, ta. This guy's going to go five, 10, okay, and he's going to rush back here.
LUIS: Does he provoke an attack of opportunity from that guy?
BRENNAN: Azune, give me an attack of opportunity on the guy that you swung on with Booming Blade.
LUIS: Okay.
TALIESIN: And do I get at attack?
BRENNAN: And Bolaire, you get one as this guy moves in to block the way.
TALIESIN: In that case, hold on, let me see what's better.
LUIS: Ooh, that's going to be a 15 to hit. With my warhammer.
BRENNAN: 15 to hit with your warhammer?
MARISHA: Are you attacking the assassin?
BRENNAN: 15 does not hit.
LUIS: Does not hit? Yeah, the opportunity attack from the one who moved away.
BRENNAN: Bolaire, give me--
LUIS: Did he end his turn next to the Flaming Sphere, those guys, or are they still moving?
BRENNAN: These two do end their turn next to the Flaming Sphere. So roll damage for that.
TALIESIN: Double-checking, since I have Battle Mage, I have to have a spell that has an attack roll, correct?
BRENNAN: You have to have a spell that has an attack roll.
TALIESIN: Okay.
BRENNAN: Oh, sorry. Let me let actually look up the rules for that.
LUIS: For War Caster?
TALIESIN: Yeah.
LUIS: Yeah, you can use your reaction to cast a spell.
TALIESIN: Well, I can cast a spell at it, but--
LUIS: Like Chill Touch or something.
TALIESIN: It doesn't have to have an attack roll.
LUIS: Yeah.
TALIESIN: It can be a save?
LUIS: I think it has to be an attack roll.
BRENNAN: The spell must have a cast time of one action and must target only that creature.
TALIESIN: Oh, that's it?
BRENNAN: It can be a saving throw.
LUIS: Okay.
BRENNAN: It be a saving throw.
TALIESIN: Oh, great, in that case, I'm going to use Mind Sliver.
BRENNAN: Okay.
TALIESIN: And that's an intelligence 14 save.
BRENNAN: Okay. That is a fail.
TALIESIN: So-- (mumbles) So it's--
LUIS: Oh my god.
TALIESIN: As the soldier turns, just a shard of mirrored glass pierces right in the head before vanishing out of nowhere and they take one point of psychic damage, bleh, and they have, fuck you, and they have a negative one to their next saving throw before the end of their next turn.
BRENNAN: Okay.
TALIESIN: Or end of my next turn.
BRENNAN: Negative one to saving throw before the next turn, got it. This guy's got the negative one to the saving throw before the next turn.
TALIESIN: Double ones, I rolled-- (sputters)
LUIS: Yeah, well, me too. (laughs)
TALIESIN: Fuck that dice.
LUIS: Those two guys need to make a saving throw, a dex save for the Flaming Sphere.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: If they save, they take one damage. If they don't save, they take two because I rolled two ones!
TALIESIN: I'm so embarrassed.
BRENNAN: They both take two damage and seem unperturbed as they square up and block the hallway--
LIAM: Jeez.
BRENNAN: -- block the hallway as they rush in.
LUIS: Yeah, that's tricky.
LIAM: Oh, they're boxing you out.
LUIS: Watch out for that fire, I'll say to you.
TALIESIN: I should have just made them run.
BRENNAN: As these two move in past the Flaming Sphere, you see this one right here wheels in under this Timmonish Knight who goes after him with a sword. Dagger slits the knight's throat, drops him to the ground.
LUIS: Whoa!
MARISHA: Some other guy, who?
BRENNAN: No, no, just the same guy. He was moving past him to block the way and killed him on his way into the door.
LIAM: Took out a Timmony--
MARISHA: Oh. Oh that's nice. Okay.
LIAM: That was one of Gus's.
BRENNAN: That is--
TALIESIN: I should've done that. Fuck, I'm learning, I'm learning. I can see what I should've done.
BRENNAN: Cavalier, the greyhound that you spoke to before, this guy steps in and without even looking, swivels his sword and plants a sword into Cavalier's chest on the ground behind him.
MARISHA: What in the Red Wedding fuck is this?!
LUIS: I know!
BRENNAN: Cavalier looks injured but not dead.
LIAM: Okay.
BRENNAN: But he uses the fact that the dog is prone to "(grunt)." These two use-- Ta, ta, ta. They use a bonus action to clear and their movement to get that far and you see they take-- Dropping their crossbows here at the door, they take another round of smaller hand crossbows out, preloaded.
LIAM: Jeez.
BRENNAN: And fire out. They don't bother going for Gus because Gus has fallen back down and is prone again. They don't aim for the druid. All of them light up the attendant Lux.
LIAM: Yep.
TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
LIAM: Sure.
BRENNAN: As they are running full tilt, "(pants)" hand crossbows (rapid fire) riddled with bolts, falls to the ground dead.
LUIS and TALIESIN: Whoa!
BRENNAN: And they drop their bolts without even bothering to reload and go for swords.
LIAM: Oh my gosh.
LUIS: Holy shit.
BRENNAN: That is going to be--
LIAM: John Wick'ed their guns away.
BRENNAN: Okay, this knight is going to close in here and is going to take some swings.
LUIS: Back away from the fire! I will tell him.
BRENNAN: Okay, copy that. He rushes in and you see that he rushes in and bashes his shield into the assassin here, and for his second attack, trying to clear the doorway, he goes to bash him over and can't get past and then takes a, he takes a step back and is going to get an attack of opportunity. Which is a miss, clangs off of his shield. Okay. That is going to be Murray, your turn again.
MARISHA: (wheezy laughs) Uh...
TALIESIN: ♪ Somebody ♪
MARISHA and LUIS: (laugh)
LUIS: Just on a loop.
TALIESIN: Start looting whoever's down. (laughter)
TALIESIN: I don't know what to do.
MARISHA: I still really don't want to fuck--
TALIESIN: If I can get in there, I can start doing some mad shit.
MARISHA: -- with my invisibility right now.
LUIS: Don't, yeah.
MARISHA: Don't, hurt my invisibility?
LUIS: Just be careful. No, no, no.
MARISHA: I don't want to do this.
LUIS: Please don't die.
MARISHA: No. I don't have anything that's a negate magic type of thing right now.
LIAM: You got any range to try to let your friends in the room?
MARISHA: Anything I do, huh?
LIAM: Oh, I know. Anything you do reveals you.
MARISHA: Is going to drop my--
LIAM: I know.
MARISHA: I am going to hold--
BRENNAN: Yeah?
MARISHA: -- my action.
BRENNAN: Cool.
MARISHA: Murray, she's a little lightheaded and her eyes roll back into her head as she's trying to stay focused, but she cannot help but be overwhelmed by pulsing. It's almost like the room is starting to pulse as gravity, as sound, as time is starting to pulse through as she's getting these feelings that only a divination wizard could understand. And I'm going to hold my action as I continue to watch and wait.
BRENNAN: Okay. You are holding. I think that is a very brave choice. Taking a turn is always fun and I think that is the correct strategic choice.
MARISHA: I'm alone right now. My team is forever away.
BRENNAN: Sometimes the fact that we're playing a game takes over and you're like, "I want to use one of my powers."
MARISHA: I know.
BRENNAN: And I think that is the in-character choice.
LUIS: Yes.
LIAM: Do you have any of your Porties?
TALIESIN: And there's nothing invisible to see so far.
LUIS: For us.
MARISHA: Yes, I do. I'm going to hold because Porties--
TALIESIN: I've got an angle.
LIAM: You can nerf stuff.
MARISHA: Correct.
LIAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
TALIESIN: Then I can fuck with these people.
LUIS: Yes.
TALIESIN: I can't.
LUIS: Let me go first.
TALIESIN: Of course.
MARISHA: Is it the Photarch?
BRENNAN: It's the Photarch's turn.
MARISHA: Brennan.
BRENNAN: Yes?
LUIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go in after me. Yeah.
MARISHA: As once again, she's getting overwhelmed, I hope this is not a terrible idea.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MARISHA: And I hope that I can use it this way.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MARISHA: It's almost like sound waves are coursing from front to back, from the back going through this room. As you can see, it's vibrating, boom, boom and Murray mutters under her breath: It's already been written. It's been written this whole time. All truth starts with stories. Can I use my six that I rolled on portent for her last death saving throw?
LUIS: (gasps)
BRENNAN: (wheezy laughs)
LIAM: You tipped the scale.
LUIS: (gasps)
MARISHA: It's already been written.
BRENNAN: Murray.
MARISHA: Can I do that?
BRENNAN: In all of the flow sheets that I wrote for this combat, you have no idea how profoundly cool this moment is about to be.
LUIS: Fuckin' A!
TALIESIN: (gasps)
BRENNAN: Give me an investigation roll.
MARISHA: Investigation?
LIAM: Sick.
BRENNAN: Give me an investigation roll.
LUIS: Oh my god.
TALIESIN: What?
MARISHA: I feel like the fuck me, fuck you die is appropriate for this. Okay, okay. 18.
BRENNAN: Murray, you go to write the fate of the Photarch and let her succumb to her wounds. As you reach out and say, "Let this be one of the futures where she dies." I've never had to interpret a portent this way and I've never seen a portent used to actually do what a divination wizard is supposed to do. You go to replace her death saving throw to discover she's not making them. When I rolled earlier, that was a lie.
LUIS: What?!
BRENNAN: You reach out to fabricate. Every once in a while, a DM has to use some tricks to make things seem a certain way. You go and say, "Let her die," and reach out to touch the fabric of the universe and touch nothing. I cannot believe there's a game system that lets you discover that I'm cheating.
LUIS: Whoa! (laughter)
TALIESIN: Oh! Oh!
BRENNAN: As you reach out--
LIAM: She's faking it.
BRENNAN: She's faking it.
LIAM: She's faking it! It's an act!
BRENNAN: It's an act.
TALIESIN: This is brilliant.
BRENNAN: There was no way for you to discover that in this fight, except for one I didn't remember.
LUIS: Wow!
LIAM: (laughs)
BRENNAN: There was no way for you to discover that--
LUIS: Whoa!
BRENNAN: -- in this fight. There was no way for you to discover that in this fight.
LUIS: Oh my--
MARISHA: I feel like I'm on one of those slingshot rides.
LUIS: Dude!
MARISHA: That are on boardwalks. Jesus.
LUIS: (laughs)
BRENNAN: You reach out. You reach out and go, "Let her die." It's literally like you get a 404 from the universe, you know, the cosmos, you get a blue screen. The cosmos is like, "Have this be the time she dies? What do you mean? I can't do that." You go to reweave destiny, and it's like, in other words, what you're seeing with your eyes is her bleeding out on the floor, but when you go to the grid, the hum, the gem-like structure of fate and destiny, destiny doesn't have a thread available for you for her to die here.
LUIS: Because that domino wasn't falling in this moment at all.
TALIESIN: Oh my--
BRENNAN: You don't know why or how, but that is the fucking coolest use of portent I've ever seen.
MARISHA: (exhales laughter)
TALIESIN: That's insane.
LIAM: Your gut instinct realized more than your eyes were seeing.
MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)
BRENNAN: You're literally--
MARISHA: What is happening?
BRENNAN: It's like you want to rewrite a book, and you're like, "I'm telling you that book's not in this library. I'm in the Dewey Decimal thing. It's not here," right?
LUIS: Wow!
BRENNAN: Unbelievable, Murray. Unbelievable.
MARISHA: Confirmed. Halovar shenanigans, confirmed!
LUIS: Yep.
TALIESIN: Oh my god.
LUIS: Con-fucking-firmed.
MARISHA: They're trying to pin it on--
LUIS: Yes!
MARISHA: -- on the Tachonis.
LUIS: On Gus. Oh! Oh, well, maybe.
MARISHA: But are these supposed to look--
LUIS: We don't know.
MARISHA: -- like this is somebody else taking out both of them.
LUIS: This is somebody else taking out both them, it seems.
TALIESIN: It doesn't look like them. Oh, and there's one right fucking there!
LUIS: But she was-- She's not being taken out!
BRENNAN: I really can't believe that. That is so fucking cool.
LUIS: She's not being taken out.
BRENNAN: Every once in a while, you do some, you know-- You'll say like, "Oh, I'm going to do a perception check," and I'll roll knowing there's no one there, but just to keep it, because if I don't roll when no one's there, it means I'm only rolling when there's someone there.
MARISHA: Someone there.
BRENNAN: So you have to make the sounds of dice to make it seem like, you know?
MARISHA: Uh-huh.
BRENNAN: And I was doing my little cute little nat one thing to sell--
LUIS: It was very cute.
MARISHA: Oh my god!
BRENNAN: -- to sell the act. But you have that, so I can't lie!
LIAM: Who doesn't love closeup magic? (laughter)
LUIS: It's my favorite.
BRENNAN: Unbelievable, Marisha. Unbelievable.
MARISHA: Oh my god.
BRENNAN: Okay, that's so fucking cool, I love that.
TALIESIN: Fuck.
BRENNAN: Okay. Hal. That is your turn. Murray, as you realize you can't have her fail her last death saving throw because she hasn't made her first. Hal, that's going to be you.
LIAM: Okay.
MARISHA: That does use my portent, though, right? That six?
BRENNAN: No, no! Your portent is still remaining.
MARISHA: It's remaining.
BRENNAN: You go to cash in your chip, and they're like, "This isn't a casino, this is a gas station." (laughter) You're like, "Let me do my thing," right?
MARISHA and TALIESIN: Ma'am, this is a Wendy's. (laughter)
LUIS: Yes! (laughter)
BRENNAN: That is Hal's turn.
TALIESIN: Oh, fuck!
LIAM: Okay. So this Nama, who's run for cover in this corner, sees a hand plant on the side of that bookshelf. This dark austere Amadeus-like mask of Azgra appears behind it, stalking out behind, and from behind the mask that I am wearing, say, still throwing his voice, still changing his voice: You mess with our city, you feel our fangs! And that unleashes the Shatter spell.
BRENNAN: Ooh, hell yes.
LUIS: I'm going to launch it into him as well as the bookshelf near him to destroy any cover he might want to use in the future.
BRENNAN: Hell yeah.
LIAM: So that is a con save minus five.
BRENNAN: Oh! He gets a negative three.
LUIS: (laughs)
LIAM: Okay.
LUIS: That's double damage, I think. Just kidding.
BRENNAN: (laughs)
MARISHA: Oh my god. That's right, because you got that.
LIAM: 10, so that's a 15.
MARISHA: That's such a cool setup.
LIAM: 15 points of damage.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: Yeah, that's great.
MARISHA: Cool.
LIAM: Thunder damage.
BRENNAN: 15 thunder damage, incredible.
LIAM: Then still in full Bene Gesserit mode--
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: -- I'll snarl: One of us isn't leaving this room. And I will re-up the hit to their next save.
BRENNAN: Okay, incredible.
LIAM: Which is a minus six.
BRENNAN: Ooh my god!
TALIESIN: Ooh!
BRENNAN: Here's the truly significant thing. You just did 15 points of damage. Our friend here is a talented spellcaster, but they are not particularly tough, which means--
TALIESIN: Well, that would be disqualifying.
BRENNAN: Which means--
TALIESIN: (gasps)
BRENNAN: -- this is, and this is, obviously, you're in a dangerous fight in a quiet room off in a gala, but you deal 15 points of damage which means he needs to make a concentration save.
LIAM: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Did you just fuck up his save?
LIAM: I did.
BRENNAN: (gasps) Oh, minus six?
LUIS: Yes, yeah.
MARISHA: Minus six.
LUIS: Concentration save minus six.
BRENNAN: Okay, I don't want to get our hopes up, but this is one of-- In the vast puzzle of this arcane conspiracy, this is one of the major switches in the railroad tracks.
LUIS: Yes.
BRENNAN: The fact that he has minus six to his save--
LIAM: But before you roll, I just want to add a little bit of flavor, which is Hal is acting, Hal is presenting a dark, ominous figure, but behind the illusion, behind the mask, he's anything but sure of his chances and is (heavy breathing) is trying to keep his breath steady behind the act. What'd you roll?
BRENNAN: Difficulty is 10 for this concentration saving throw. Normally, he would roll flat. Now he's rolling at a minus six.
LUIS and MARISHA: Minus six.
BRENNAN: Which means he needs to get a 16 or higher to maintain concentration on the spell. Rolling in front.
LIAM: 16 or higher.
BRENNAN: 16 or higher is what he's looking for, 15 or lower.
LUIS: What's that? What's that?
BRENNAN: Nat 20.
LIAM: Natural 20.
MARISHA: Oh my god!
LUIS: No, no, but--
BRENNAN: Okay.
MARISHA: I can't see. I got to be able to see him. I got to be able to see him!
BRENNAN: Got to be able to see him. Got to able see him.
TALIESIN: Whoa!
BRENNAN: So, boom! It goes off.
LUIS: But wait, wait!
BRENNAN: He flies back.
LUIS: Hold on. Wait.
BRENNAN: Bookcases fly everywhere.
LUIS: Do we have to see it?
TALIESIN: Yeah, you have to see it.
LUIS: No, wait, for my thing. (panicked searching) (rapidly mumbling spell description) Wait. Oh.
MARISHA: Are you looking at Luck?
BRENNAN: Looking at Luck?
LUIS: No, I'm looking at-- (mumbling nonsense)
LIAM: (babbles like Luis)
BRENNAN: I feel like I'm drunk from that Photarch thing.
LUIS: No. I am drunk. I can't.
BRENNAN: Okay, so.
LIAM: Water under the bridge.
BRENNAN: Water under the bridge. But you also see in addition to whatever else, he's badly injured, and this bookcase flies apart, all of poor Hero's work goes up, boom! As this bookcase flies apart, bam! He stumbles backwards.
LUIS: Damn.
BRENNAN: You are staying here, or you've moved up over here.
LIAM: No, I said that I came around to be like the grim reaper coming around the bookshelf to help with the act.
BRENNAN: Hell yeah. Awesome, okay.
TALIESIN: I have a theory what that spell is.
BRENNAN: That is Hal Fang's turn.
LIAM: Wow!
BRENNAN: Incredible. But you are doing absolutely--
MARISHA: That was so good.
BRENNAN: You can see that that is a sizable injury for him. He's alone in a room with you. He's not bloodied, but that's a sizeable injury. By the way--
TALIESIN: He also can't use the spell, because he's--
BRENNAN: No one's bloodied yet. I don't think anyone's even been hit yet.
LUIS and TALIESIN: No.
MARISHA: No.
BRENNAN: But we should fly in Desperate Measures when we can.
LUIS: (groans)
TALIESIN: Okay, Bolaire, that is your turn.
MARISHA: Fly in Desperate--
LUIS: That's the death save mechanics.
LIAM: Death save throw. We don't need that.
TALIESIN: Okay, who--
LUIS: Allow me, allow me.
TALIESIN: Oh yeah, that's right. I'm holding my turn.
LUIS and TALIESIN: Yes.
BRENNAN: Okay.
TALIESIN: Thank you.
LIAM: Have to get that druid free!
BRENNAN: Okay, Bolaire, you're sending it down there.
MARISHA: I know, I know, I know. I've got Desperate Measures right here.
BRENNAN: Okay, you're going down there. The druid, Hal, as the Shatter goes off, you see that the minister behind you calls out and says, "(groans) The shield." In this room, Murray, you see the druid reaches out and tosses Gus' shield to the side of the room. As Gus begins to army crawl across.
TALIESIN: (gasps) Oh!
BRENNAN: He only manages to crawl about five feet, crawling for his sword in the corner of the room. ♪ Da da da ♪
TALIESIN: Shit.
MARISHA: (groans)
BRENNAN: Filoneus outside, slamming on the door, saying, "Help! Help!"
TALIESIN: That asshole.
MARISHA: Performative fuck.
TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
BRENNAN: Okay, hold on.
LUIS: Yeah. Yep, yep.
BRENNAN: Okay.
MARISHA: I do have a Desperate Measures sheet here if anyone wants a reminder.
LUIS: Yeah.
TALIESIN: I would like that, please.
BRENNAN: Okay.
TALIESIN: Oh yeah, that's right.
BRENNAN: Gorson looking out, leaps forward--
LIAM: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
BRENNAN: -- and takes his claws out. And he's going to go for it.
MARISHA: (laughs)
BRENNAN: What is your armor class, Hal?
LIAM: It's a 13.
BRENNAN: 13, okay.
LUIS: Oh!
BRENNAN: He hits twice.
LIAM: For what?
BRENNAN: He hits for a 17 and a 15.
LIAM: I break, I break-- 17 and a what?
BRENNAN: 15.
LIAM: 15 and 17?
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
LUIS: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
LIAM: I break my rune.
BRENNAN: Shit, okay! Your armor class moves to what?
LIAM: 18.
BRENNAN: 18!
LUIS: Yes, yes, yes!
BRENNAN: He goes, "Stop your meddling! (war cry)" You break the glyph and boom!
LIAM: My titties! (laughter)
BRENNAN: Slap your titties, and all of a sudden-- (laughter)
BRENNAN: -- you just see buzzing gem light and (magical shield forms). Murray's Shield spell. What does your Shield spell look like?
MARISHA: What does my Shield spell look like? I haven't even thought about this! Let's see, it's got to be very Murray Mag'Nesson. I mean, I think it's still a little divination-based, right?
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MARISHA: So it's still a little weird science in the sense that it probably looks once again, like a sonic boom, like ripples of--
LIAM: Sonic boom!
MARISHA: Ripples of reality that just jiggy.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MARISHA: Just a little bit to make it bounce across, changing what was to be.
BRENNAN: Oh, sick! So you see he reaches out and ripples through time and destiny as (blasts impact). You see glimpses of times where he hits you and times where he doesn't, and it reasserts to the time where he doesn't hit you either time. You're uninjured. That is going to be Azune and Bolaire.
LUIS: Rad. Okay. Those guys near the Flaming Sphere haven't gone yet this new round, right?
BRENNAN: No, they have not gone this new round.
LUIS: Got it. Okay.
BRENNAN: You're at the end of the round, they're at the top of the round.
LUIS: Copy that, yes. So I'm going to step in, and I'm going to, I'm stepping forward. (exhales forcefully) Bonus action. ♪ (hums in thought) ♪ Yeah, I want to clear the way.
TALIESIN: Yes, please.
LUIS: Yeah. I'm going to step forward.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: And I'm going after that guy on the diagonal.
BRENNAN: You're going in. So you're going to step here next to the Flaming Sphere. Got it.
LUIS: Next to the Flaming Sphere.
BRENNAN: Cool.
LUIS: I need to-- I'm casting Booming Blade--
BRENNAN: Cool.
LUIS: -- as my action. I'm going to spend a Luck point.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: To roll at advantage.
LIAM: Let's go, Nayar.
LUIS: I will take that 14 plus six, 20 to hit.
BRENNAN: 20 hits.
LUIS: Okay. So Booming Blade, sparks absorb in my body, they channel through my weapon. Two-handed, and I (strike) push him 10 feet.
BRENNAN: Whoa, Booming Blade pushes him 10--
LUIS: No, my weapon mastery does with my warhammer.
BRENNAN: Oh shit!
LUIS: So I'm going to push him behind the guy that's next to him, so I'm pushing him, I guess, diagonally 10 feet.
BRENNAN: Hell yeah. You can push him diagonally 10 feet.
LUIS: Yes.
BRENNAN: Oh my god! That's so good. That's very good! (laughter) Okay, using weapon mastery, you push him 10 feet?
LUIS: Yes!
BRENNAN: Fuck yeah. You slam into him and he flies back. Boom! 10 feet diagonally.
LUIS: Great! (grunts)
LUIS: And bonus action, I reach towards the Flaming Sphere, and I pull it, dragging it across. It can move 30 feet on my bonus action.
LIAM: Oh.
LUIS: I'm going to roll it so it's in between the two.
LIAM: Oh, you lined them up.
BRENNAN: Cool.
LUIS: I'm actually going to bump it, and I can with, because I can use an attack with my bonus action, I'm going to slam the guy. Actually, let me roll my damage before I decide.
BRENNAN: Roll your damage on the first guy. Yeah.
LUIS: (hyperventilates)
TALIESIN: You're doing so good.
LUIS: Let's see.
MARISHA: Schemers!
LUIS and BRENNAN: Schemers!
MARISHA: (grunts)
LUIS: Booming Blade.
BRENNAN: Are you ready for my latest scheme? (powerful strike) (laughter)
LIAM: That little girl with a punch bowl, "(excited grunts)"
LUIS: Spell, Booming Blade. We're at level-- Okay, yeah, we're at that level. Okay, so the initial attack that he takes is, oh, it is two. Two? No, that's my weapon attack. Two plus four, six points of damage. Oh, actually I rolled the wrong die. I'm wielding it two-handed.
TALIESIN: Hey!
BRENNAN: Okay. Hell yeah.
LUIS: So it's a d10. It's still a two!
BRENNAN: Still a two. Okay.
LUIS: So same damage.
BRENNAN: How many--
LUIS: Six points of damage.
BRENNAN: Six points of damage, great.
LUIS: Six points of my weapon damage, and then he's enveloped in booming energy.
BRENNAN: Cool.
LUIS: And I'm going to slam the Flaming Sphere into him. He's got to make a dex-- Actually, I'm going to slam the Flaming Sphere into, these guys look pretty hardy, into the guy that I just attacked.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: He needs to make a dex save.
BRENNAN: Okay. That is a failure.
LUIS: You're then going to take six points of fire damage.
BRENNAN: Six points of fire damage?
LUIS: Yes, as the Flaming Sphere just, it's almost as if it lunges, enveloping him and lights him on fire for a moment.
BRENNAN: Hell yes. You can see-- ♪ Da da da ♪ The first of these assassins moves into bloodied as that Flaming Sphere (flame whooshes). These are the people you hire when you're trying to kill a religious primarch and king, right? So they're extremely hardy. Bam! Flaming Sphere hits.
LUIS: And movement.
BRENNAN: And your movement.
LUIS: I'd like to move. So he's got the Booming Blade on him.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LUIS: Is there--
TALIESIN: He also might not have his sword if that's the one I made drop all your weapons.
LUIS: Ah!
BRENNAN: Oh, yes, yes, yes.
TALIESIN: Ha.
BRENNAN: This guy right here, this guy right here did drop his sword and is now using a dagger.
LUIS: Okay, I'm going to-- We got to move in there.
TALIESIN: Yep, we got to get in there.
LUIS: Yeah, we got to get in there. So I'm going to move past that, and I'm going to do my full movement to get further into the chamber.
BRENNAN: Doing 30?
LUIS: Yeah, I'm going to do--
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: -- what I have left. I think I may have already moved five.
BRENNAN: Five, yeah. So that's going to be 10, 15, 20, 25, 30?
LUIS: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Okay, got it.
TALIESIN: Who's that on the ground?
LUIS: That's dead.
BRENNAN: Cavalier.
TALIESIN: Okay.
BRENNAN: No, no--
LUIS: Oh, he's not dead.
BRENNAN: Cavalier's not dead. Cavalier is badly injured.
LUIS: Injured.
BRENNAN: And foaming at the mouth and scratching at his nose.
TALIESIN: Shit! I don't think there's anything I can do about that.
LUIS: I can't.
MARISHA: Unless you can clear the air.
LUIS: I can't, I can't, I can't.
MARISHA: If there's a Gust or anything you have.
TALIESIN: I have Mage Hand, I can-- (puffs) I don't know.
LUIS: I can't right now, but instead of taking that full move, I'm going to-- We can move through ally spaces?
BRENNAN: Yes, you can.
LUIS: Okay, so then I'm going to position myself, I'm going to not move that far. I'm going to go back up and be next to the guard who's wielding a dagger.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: Because he's going to either move and take an opportunity attack or stay and then suffer the wrath of the Flaming Sphere.
BRENNAN: Okay, so you're out of your Flaming Sphere, not getting an opportunity--
LUIS: I'm out of my Flaming Sphere.
BRENNAN: Yeah, people can move through your square.
LUIS: Great. Okay, that's my turn.
BRENNAN: As you move in, I need a perception check, difficulty of 10.
LUIS: Okay, okay. Have you been good to me? I don't think you have.
MARISHA: (chuckles)
LUIS: Ah! Oh, perception, perception.
BRENNAN: Perception.
LUIS: With my modifier, 11.
TALIESIN: Ah.
BRENNAN: You thought the tricks were over. Trick's not over.
LUIS: Fuck!
BRENNAN: You thought the tricks are over? Trick's not over.
LUIS: Brennan, are you--
BRENNAN: (chuckles deviously)
LUIS: Are you this mean to all the other tables?
TALIESIN: Suddenly a dove-- Yes.
LUIS: (laughs)
TALIESIN: A dove's going to--
BRENNAN: You, looking out for magic as you always do as an Arcane Marshal.
LUIS: Uh-huh.
BRENNAN: You're always ready for the unexpected, which is why hiding behind this table, an invisible spellcaster. You see there is an invisible--
LUIS: He's invisible and I can see him.
BRENNAN: He is invisible. You can see him.
LUIS: See Invisibility.
BRENNAN: And you see that he has his hands up.
LUIS: A-ha!
BRENNAN: Sweating, focusing on all three doors.
LUIS: (annoyed grunt)
MARISHA: He's keeping them locked down.
LIAM: Yes, yes.
TALIESIN: Oh!
LIAM: Break his concentration.
MARISHA: So is there another fucker doing a bunch of illusion shit to make it look like the Photarch went down? There's got to be some illusion shenanigans.
BRENNAN: Bolaire.
LUIS: Yes.
TALIESIN: Really quick. (whispering)
LIAM and MARISHA: (nonsense murmuring)
LUIS: A spell save as a reaction?
TALIESIN: Yeah.
LUIS: It depends.
TALIESIN: Is a spell save a reaction?
BRENNAN: Saving against a spell?
TALIESIN: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Saving against a spell does not use the action economy.
LUIS: No, it doesn't--
TALIESIN: Reaction, I mean.
BRENNAN: Huh?
TALIESIN: Just a reaction. No, it's just--
BRENNAN: No, no.
TALIESIN: Okay.
LUIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
TALIESIN: Figuring out.
LUIS: Yeah. A spell save is a part of whatever instigates it.
TALIESIN: All right, all right. That changes the territory a little bit.
LUIS: What are you looking at? It's your turn.
TALIESIN: I'm going to start walking my way into the room and I'm going to survey the damage really quickly.
BRENNAN: Five, 10. Okay, you're going to move through Azune's space.
TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
BRENNAN: 15, 20, 25.
TALIESIN: Thank you.
BRENNAN: 30.
LUIS: Yes.
TALIESIN: I can get to there.
BRENNAN: You can get to there.
LUIS: Yeah, and you're out of the Flaming Sphere.
BRENNAN: Out of the Flaming Sphere.
LUIS: You're not adjacent to it.
BRENNAN: So you're on the other side of Cavalier. You see this beautiful, slightly brindled greyhound You see this beautiful, slightly brindled greyhound on the ground, convulsing. And that is--
TALIESIN: Do I see the invisible--?
BRENNAN: Oh yeah.
TALIESIN: Not that it really helps in the moment.
BRENNAN: You see this guy over here tucked behind a pillar.
TALIESIN: Shit, fuck, bugger.
MARISHA: Wow.
BRENNAN: Or yeah, more or less, yeah, he's right-- He's going to keep an eye on that door, too. So he's got all three doors in sight.
TALIESIN: Shit.
BRENNAN: But yes, you move through and have a line of sight. Or actually, give me a perception, if you would be so kind.
TALIESIN: I love rolling perception. Yeah, that's a 25.
MARISHA: So glad we--
BRENNAN: Yep, yeah, you got him, so--
TALIESIN: Oh, it was a 19. 23, excuse me.
BRENNAN: 23. Yeah, you got the invisible guy clocked as well.
TALIESIN: Oh, right.
LUIS: I don't have my shield.
TALIESIN: Well, this complicates things.
LUIS: I don't have it drawn, so I'm--
TALIESIN: Mm, okay. How far away am I from the big fuck with the axe over there? Probably, oh yeah--
MARISHA: But you have--
TALIESIN: I'm within--
BRENNAN: You've used your movement.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
BRENNAN: I would say you are, what's that? Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30--
TALIESIN: Shouldn't matter.
BRENNAN: 35, 40, 45, 50, 55.
MARISHA: Save that spell slot.
TALIESIN: Where'd it go?
BRENNAN: You're actually-- you're 60 feet away.
TALIESIN: Oh, that's, okay, I can do this then no matter what.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
TALIESIN: I'm going to hold up my hand like Hamlet himself, in my hand with my sword still behind my back. And a glass face is going to appear. Just a glass face going all the way back. I'm going to turn and start whispering in its ear.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
TALIESIN: They've never liked you. You know that. Oh god, you're the patsy!
LUIS: (gasps)
TALIESIN: What are you going to do about it? Crown of Madness on the man with the axe as slowly, spikes of broken, shattered mirror glass start making a crown around his head.
LIAM: You sick fuck. (laughter)
BRENNAN: Wisdom saving throw?
TALIESIN: It is a-- Double checking. It's a wisdom saving throw.
MARISHA: Wait, is this Crown of Madness--
BRENNAN: 10 plus two is 12?
TALIESIN: Nope.
LUIS: Nope.
BRENNAN: Incredible.
TALIESIN: And I'm going to tell him--
MARISHA: Sick.
TALIESIN: -- to, on his next turn, attack the man behind him.
LUIS: (gasps)
MARISHA: Sick.
BRENNAN: Unbelievable.
LUIS: Oh Bolaire, yes.
BRENNAN: Ah-da-da. Where are you, Charmed? Charmed, where'd you go? There we go. Okay.
MARISHA: Still in the '90s.
BRENNAN: So, Bolaire, there's a slight apparition that comes with Crown of Madness. What is your apparition?
TALIESIN: Oh it is a crown of broken mirror shards that are cutting into and growing out of the lobes of his brain out through his head.
BRENNAN: As you step forward, you see the charging axe-wielding "(grunting)" hit one of the crossbow bolts into the acolyte here and is now looking for Gus crawling across. You see as he mutters under his breath he says, "Lay with dogs, get put down like dogs." And then suddenly goes, "(grunts)" he has the mirrors appear. He rips around to his companions and says, "Huh? Old Gorson going to take the fall? Not this time!" And screams at the top of his lungs as the other assassins look out.
LIAM: Yes, yes, yes!
BRENNAN: Incredible. Okay.
LUIS: Nice. Thanks.
BRENNAN: Amazing. Bolaire, that is your movement and action. Hell yes. Second round, veterans will arrive on the next round.
LUIS: Yay!
MARISHA: Okay, okay.
BRENNAN: Back at the top. It is, sadly, our executioner again. Go ahead, if you'd be so kind. Now, the text of Crown of Madness here.
TALIESIN: Hmm.
BRENNAN: Let's take a look because he has to attack. Does he attack to the best of his ability? Does he attack--
TALIESIN: I believe so.
BRENNAN: Okay.
TALIESIN: It says, "It must use its action before moving on each of its turns to make a melee attack against a creature other than itself that I choose mentally. The target can act normally on its turn if you choose no creature or if no creatures are within its reach."
BRENNAN: Okay.
TALIESIN: "The target repeats the save at the end of each of its turn against the spell, ending the spell on a success."
BRENNAN: Got you, and this guy's got a minus one save, right? I think something you did--
TALIESIN: Yeah. He's got a minus one save.
BRENNAN: Minus one save.
LUIS: Yes, you did that.
BRENNAN: Give me an attack roll. This assassin will be adding, cha, cha, cha, plus five.
TALIESIN: 13.
BRENNAN: 13. You see he wheels around "(grunts)," swings with his sword and you see the other one says, "What are you doing?!" As he leaps back. By the way, I will say this. I don't think anyone here speaks it. That, "What are you doing?" actually sounds more like "(speaks Argosi)" as they speak Argosi.
TALIESIN: Fuck!
LUIS: Mm-hmm.
BRENNAN: Da, da, da. That is going to be--
MARISHA: Okay.
TALIESIN: He missed, though.
BRENNAN: A miss. Yes. The rest are now going to go.
MARISHA: So did Halovar team up with Argosia?
LUIS: Yes, yes.
MARISHA: And these are Argosians?
TALIESIN: Oh, if that was the end of its turn, it can make a save.
LUIS: Trying to keep themselves clean.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: Making themselves a part of--
MARISHA: Okay.
BRENNAN: Oh, at the end of his turn he makes a save.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Got you. Well, let me-- It's not the end of his turn yet.
TALIESIN: Okay.
BRENNAN: He's going to lurch off over in this direction with the Crown of Madness. One, two, three, four, five.
LUIS: Go, go, go. Come on.
BRENNAN: Six, seven, okay, not quite close enough yet. They're going to use move and double to surround Gus.
MARISHA: No!
LIAM: Oh my gosh.
BRENNAN: 10, 15, 20, 25--
TALIESIN: At least they can't attack.
BRENNAN: 50--
LUIS: Hmm, hmm.
TALIESIN: Thank you.
LUIS: Maybe.
BRENNAN: Okay.
MARISHA: Oh.
BRENNAN: Double move and action. You see each of them takes, as a bonus action, swords out and take a vial off of their belts and splash a nasty, sticky-looking dark brown liquid onto their sword blades.
LUIS: Damn it!
LIAM: That's "I want to kill you" shit.
MARISHA: Hmm. Okay, okay, okay, okay.
BRENNAN: Okay.
MARISHA: Fuck!
BRENNAN: As they surround King Gus. That is going to be-- That's them.
TALIESIN: Shit, shit, shit, fuck! Bugger.
BRENNAN: Five--
TALIESIN: That could have gone better.
LUIS: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Take it for now.
BRENNAN: Okay, this knight is going to close in and flank with Azune. That's going to be a hit.
LUIS: Nice.
BRENNAN: And that's going to be a hit.
LUIS: Ooh.
BRENNAN: As he flanks with you, he's going to deal-- Okay. Da, da, da. This assassin is now bloodied as well as, seeing you step into the fray, this Timmonish knight "(grunts)" looks down and goes, "Carbrady!" Looking at the fallen knight next to him, takes out a sword, and "(screaming)" against the assassin. That one is now moved to bloodied.
LUIS: Great.
BRENNAN: These two are going to go as well. This one's going to step--
LUIS: He blows up? (blasts) The thunderous energy that he was surrounded in--
BRENNAN: Oh shit. Yeah.
LUIS: -- from my Booming Blade activates.
BRENNAN: Go ahead and deal damage.
LUIS: And he is going to take four points of thunder damage.
BRENNAN: He takes four points of thunder damage. Both of these assassins also apply that venom, as a bonus action, to their blades.
LUIS: Okay.
BRENNAN: One's going to come for Azune.
LUIS: Okay.
BRENNAN: And one is going to come for Bolaire.
MARISHA: (groans)
BRENNAN: Two attacks. That is two eights for Bolaire.
LUIS: Wow!
BRENNAN: I'm rolling trash over here, gang. Azune--
LUIS: Uh-huh.
BRENNAN: Two attacks for you with these venom-coated blades. That is going to be a 23 and then a natural 20.
LUIS: No way!
MARISHA: Wait, against--
LIAM: Azune.
LUIS: Against me.
BRENNAN: Against you.
LUIS: 23 and a natural--
MARISHA: Oh!
LUIS: They will both hit.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: I don't have my shield--
MARISHA: Fuck!
LUIS: -- so my AC is down two.
BRENNAN: I'm going to need a constitution save from you.
LUIS: Okay.
TALIESIN: Shit!
LUIS: And I'll also, it's also a concentration save on that.
BRENNAN: Yep.
TALIESIN: Fuck!
LUIS: Con save.
BRENNAN: We'll deal with damage in a second.
TALIESIN: I don't like any of this.
LUIS: (exhales) My con save is 13.
TALIESIN: (grimaces)
BRENNAN: Con save is 13.
LUIS: Uh-huh.
TALIESIN: (groans)
BRENNAN: Okay. A-da-da. Okay, you will only take half damage from the poison on a 13.
LUIS: Okay. Okay, good.
BRENNAN: But a tremendous-- But actually that's the nat 20 so-- But you do-- You just turned 8d10 dice into 4d10 dice.
TALIESIN: Whew!
LIAM: Oh shit!
BRENNAN: Okay, that--
LUIS: 4d10!
LIAM: You got your max up by five.
LUIS: I do and it's logged.
LIAM: Mm-hmm.
TALIESIN: Oh, wow!
LUIS: Roll low!
TALIESIN: Oh, wow! Wow, wow, wow!
LUIS: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
BRENNAN: A tremendous amount of damage incoming, my friend.
TALIESIN: Fuck!
LUIS: Yes.
BRENNAN: There's that, there's that--
LUIS: Heroic Inspiration doesn't work against--
BRENNAN: Okay.
TALIESIN: Trying to make some--
BRENNAN: This is just the crit we're rolling for right here.
LUIS: Okay.
BRENNAN: 11, 19, 20.
LUIS: Fuck. Fuck!
BRENNAN: 29.
LUIS: Oh my gosh!
LIAM: Wow.
TALIESIN: Are you good? Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.
BRENNAN: That is going to be--
MARISHA: (wheezes)
BRENNAN: That is going to be 40 points of damage.
TALIESIN: Whoa!
LUIS: I'm still up.
TALIESIN: You're up!
MARISHA: Four-zero?
BRENNAN: Four-zero.
LUIS: Four-zero. I'm up.
TALIESIN: Whew!
BRENNAN: 40 points of damage. We have to roll the second hit.
LUIS: But the second hit.
TALIESIN: Oh my god!
LUIS: The second hit, the second hit, the second hit. (laughs)
BRENNAN: You don't have any resistance to poison damage, do you?
LUIS: I do not.
BRENNAN: Okay.
TALIESIN: (squeaky) Okay, okay.
BRENNAN: The second hit is--
TALIESIN: Shit.
BRENNAN: You see that that dose of poison does not accompany the second hit.
LUIS: Okay.
BRENNAN: It is a one-dose thing.
TALIESIN: Oh!
LUIS: Okay.
BRENNAN: The second one is nine, 15 points of damage on this next one.
LUIS: I drop.
BRENNAN: Flaming Sphere is gone. (extinguishing)
LUIS: (groans)
MARISHA: All right, all right.
LUIS: (groans and wheezes)
BRENNAN: Bolaire, you see Azune, boom, hits the deck as this assassin, a huge dose. The minute the sword touches you, a stinging numbness spreads through your torso and you lose the ability to breathe and drop.
LUIS: However, the one that attacked Bolaire ended his turn before that, right?
BRENNAN: Yep, yep.
LUIS: So he has to make a dexterity saving throw because at that moment, the Flaming Sphere was still up and he ended his turn adjacent to it.
BRENNAN: Okay, sure.
LUIS: So he takes seven points of damage if he fails his dex save and he takes half of that if he succeeds.
BRENNAN: He fails. Seven points of damage.
LUIS: Seven points of flaming damage.
BRENNAN: Yep.
TALIESIN: Still standing?
BRENNAN: Both of these two look very bloodied next to you.
TALIESIN: God fucking damn it!
BRENNAN: Azune, you drop. That is the end of our second round.
LUIS: Yes.
BRENNAN: And that's where we're going to go to break. (shouting)
Break
Part II
BRENNAN: Marisha said, "Ball tag." Folks, we're back in the Archanade here in Dol-Makjar.
TALIESIN: Thinks he's going to break us.
BRENNAN: (laughs)
LIAM: He robbed us of our power. (laughter)
BRENNAN: You deserve to know! And I'll tell you who just got their balls tagged, our friend Azune Nayar.
LUIS: Me!
MARISHA: No!
BRENNAN: Who has just dropped.
LUIS: I don't have balls. Ha-ha-ha-ha.
BRENNAN: Ha-ha, hee, hoo-hoo. (laughter) Has dropped here in the archway, a poisoned longsword, a critical hit has just unfolded. And we are going to jump--
TALIESIN: God.
BRENNAN: -- right back into initiative. Our assassins have just gone and-- Da, da, da. We are going--
MARISHA: Are assassins at the top of the initiative order?
BRENNAN: Top of the initiative order.
LUIS: Yeah.
MARISHA: Okay, thank you.
TALIESIN: Yep. Like a bunch of assholes.
LUIS: (laughs)
BRENNAN: This one who's just crit on Azune no longer has flanking, this knight right here.
LUIS: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Two swings. Two misses.
LUIS: No!
TALIESIN: Mother-- What good are you? I want your pay back.
BRENNAN: I want your pay back.
LUIS: He's not one of ours.
TALIESIN: Fuck, he wasn't my gold.
BRENNAN: Murray, that is going to be your turn.
MARISHA: Oh!
LUIS: But will you still take him?
TALIESIN: He could do better.
MARISHA: (groans) Goddamn, we're in a tight spot! All right.
TALIESIN: Yep, we're in a tight spot.
LUIS: Yep.
MARISHA: Okay.
LUIS: Oh, that guy's still Charmed.
MARISHA: Here's what I'm going to try to do, Brennan, because I still would like to--
TALIESIN: He has to--
LUIS: Make a save at the end of his turn.
MARISHA: -- not reveal myself or drop my Invisibility.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MARISHA: Murray is still behind this pillar and you said that the--
BRENNAN: Fails his save.
TALIESIN: Oh.
BRENNAN: Sorry, the Crown of Madness is still active. Yes, go for it.
MARISHA: That the sword is right here. Can Murray scurry around this pillar?
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
MARISHA: And give a kick of King Gus' sword to King Gus?
BRENNAN: That's an object interaction. You could do that and have your action and bonus action left.
LUIS: Yeah!
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MARISHA: And then can I-- What I would like to do--
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
MARISHA: I probably, please tell me, I probably don't have enough action economy to kick his sword and his shield to him, do I?
BRENNAN: If you use an action, yes, you can.
MARISHA: Okay, I would like to try and do that. So I kick his sword. I literally--
LUIS: Come on, buddy.
MARISHA: -- shimmy behind this assassin.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MARISHA: -- to his shield.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
MARISHA: And kick his shield to him as well.
BRENNAN: I'm going to need a difficulty 10 acrobatics check.
MARISHA: Okay.
LIAM: (sighs) (flutters lips)
MARISHA: Okay, a difficulty 10 acrobatics check.
BRENNAN: What's your acrobatics, Murray?
MARISHA: Minus one.
BRENNAN: Minus one.
MARISHA: Here's my question. If I choose to use one of my portent rolls, I still roll and add on--. No.
BRENNAN: No, no, you just substitute it.
MARISHA: No, that--
LUIS: That's what, it's the roll.
MARISHA: No, I can't do that. Then I can't do that.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
MARISHA: I don't know why I just thought that. Ignore what I just said.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
MARISHA: So we're going to roll. We're going to roll.
BRENNAN: The sword is on the near side of the assassin so the sword you can kick over there as your object interaction, no problem.
MARISHA: Okay, but this is for the shield.
BRENNAN: This is for the shield.
MARISHA: Come on. I'm not great with this.
LIAM: 11 or higher.
LUIS: (gasps)
LIAM: 11.
MARISHA: It's exactly what I needed.
BRENNAN: 11 minus one is 10!
MARISHA: So 10. (laughter)
BRENNAN: So an invisible-- You, Murray, I hate to bring this up, but you have remarked on it quite a lot.
MARISHA: I got tig ol' bitties.
BRENNAN: You got tig ol' bitties, so shimmying against the wall, you (inhales) suck in.
LUIS: You suck in your boobies.
MARISHA: Suck it in.
BRENNAN: Suck in your boobies.
MARISHA: Suck it in, Murray.
BRENNAN: And squeeze past and are able to, I'll say that you are able to, with your bonus action, shunt the shield over so both of them clatter across the ground. I'm going to make some perception checks. The assassin that fired the bolt against the Photarch.
MARISHA: He rolled a six! Portent!
BRENNAN: She rolled a six. Got it, cool. You see that she does not--
LUIS: (laughs)
BRENNAN: So a clattering sword and shield as they're just, blood on their swords, they're not noticing shit. The adrenaline's too high. So they just see a clattering sword and shield. Both of them are in Gus' square.
MARISHA: Then as I'm there, I'm crouched in the corner.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
MARISHA: And what I want to do, Brennan.
BRENNAN: Yeah huh?
MARISHA: Tell me if all of this is a stretch.
TALIESIN: Wait. Oh.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MARISHA: I want to get out my Shield glyph cookie.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MARISHA: And just kind of--
LUIS: Oh, that's new!
MARISHA: -- be near Gus with it.
TALIESIN: (gasps)
MARISHA: Can I even, almost nearby, almost taking a CPR position, holding this glyph to his chest, if I can. Correct, in case.
BRENNAN: We are pulling a Cerrit Agrupnin from "Calamity" when he crushed the glyphs in his kids' hands. We are literally--
LUIS: Oh!
BRENNAN: Okay, give me-- This will be your action. You've used a bonus action to hit the shield.
MARISHA: Uh-huh.
BRENNAN: And now to slip that Shield glyph to him is going to be-- I'm going to rule that doing this, you're just putting a glyph on his body. You're invisible, but you're trying to get him to essentially lay, break it, right?
MARISHA: Like when, if--
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MARISHA: Because I'm assuming these guys are going to come down with swords.
LUIS: Yeah.
BRENNAN: In that case, I will allow you to-- You can either try to give him it sneakily so that he has it or I will let you ready an action to potentially do it at the last possible moment so that you're staying out of harm's way for longer.
MARISHA: I'll do that. I'll do the latter.
LUIS: Nice.
BRENNAN: Cool, so you are there--
LUIS: That's crazy. I love it.
BRENNAN: -- with the glyph ready to use your reaction to jump on him and give him a reaction to use this glyph, right?
MARISHA: I feel like Frodo when I have the ring on right now and there's fucking Ringwraiths over me.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LUIS: Yes.
BRENNAN: You've got your Shield glyph at the ready. Da, da, da. That is going to be--
LUIS: That's excellent.
BRENNAN: That is going to be Halandil Fang. That is your turn.
LIAM: Okay Halandil, I look like a dark figure, but heart in throat I'm going to--
TALIESIN: I'm so excited.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
LIAM: -- pivot around the Nama and--
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm, yes.
LIAM: -- push and press him into the bookshelf.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LIAM: And bonus action Unsettling Words.
BRENNAN: Uh-huh.
LIAM: Either thou or I or both must die.
BRENNAN: (laughs)
LIAM: Minus six!
BRENNAN: Oh shit!
LIAM: As I say: So shall you grieve! Shatter.
BRENNAN: Hell yes.
MARISHA: Come on! Come on!
LIAM: Minus six on the save.
BRENNAN: That would've been a success, but with that six is turned into, we turn a 12, or sorry, we turn a 14 into an eight.
TALIESIN: Sandwich into a bagel.
MARISHA: 14 into a--
LIAM: 15 points again.
BRENNAN: 15 point--
LIAM: Of thunder damage.
BRENNAN: 15 points again of thunder damage. Okay. 15 points of thunder damage again.
LIAM: And that's 10 feet so I reverberate the air within the skull of this man and it just blows starting in the center of his face backward into the bookshelf.
BRENNAN: Okay. Backward, so once again, Shatter. He is bloodied. Two of these spells have fucked him up. He is looking extremely low in hit points. Concentration. Now, he doesn't have a-- He doesn't have a minus six to this one.
LIAM: No, no.
BRENNAN: No, so this is you--
LIAM: It was on the con--
BRENNAN: He's looking for nine or low-- You're looking for a nine or lower on the die here.
LUIS: Okay. Come on, please.
BRENNAN: Three! Three! (shouting)
BRENNAN: Holy shit!
LUIS: (laughs)
BRENNAN: With that second Shatter, he is blown back, loses concentration.
LUIS: And? And?
BRENNAN: And you see this druid--
LUIS: Yes!
TALIESIN: Fuck yeah!
LUIS: I knew it, I knew it!
BRENNAN: -- come out from Dominate Person as the--
LUIS: Fuck!
BRENNAN: And now, you are not going to fucking believe your luck here.
LUIS: Yeah?
BRENNAN: But as you, "Grieve!" (blasting) Goes, (smacking) the second Shatter, he loses it. This druid, your initiative was a 15. This druid happened to roll a 12 and comes right in initiative after you.
TALIESIN: Oh!
LUIS: Wow! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
BRENNAN: Bolaire should've given us goat masks because that's what we are.
LUIS: Oh! Oh, damn! (laughter)
BRENNAN: And--
TALIESIN: Damn.
BRENNAN: Unbelievable, Hal.
MARISHA: Yeah!
BRENNAN: Okay, as you Shatter this concentration, Bolaire and Murray, you in the room see that this young druid who looks like a young man, probably mid twenties. He has these two tattoos of stag's tines that go, his sides of his head are shaved and he has tattoos of antlers along the side of his head.
MARISHA: Oh, that's cool.
BRENNAN: He turns around, comes to and goes, "My liege!" You hear the trampling of hooves through the wood. A circle of autumn leaves swirls around him as he drops to the ground--
LIAM: Let's go!
BRENNAN: -- and Removes Poison from King Gus.
LUIS: Yes! Yes, yes, yes!
LIAM: Let's go!
BRENNAN: Steps here, Removes Poison.
LUIS: Oh my god.
LIAM: Let's go!
BRENNAN: Now, I swear to god, folks at home, I rolled this all fair and square. Do you know who has an 11 initiative? King Augustus Valian.
MARISHA: King Gus!
LIAM: Let's go!
TALIESIN: Fuck yeah!
BRENNAN: Uses half his movement--
LUIS: Wow.
BRENNAN: -- to stand.
LUIS: Hot!
BRENNAN: Sword and shield, he stands up. "(growls) You fucked up!" (laughter)
LUIS: Yes!
BRENNAN: And is going to roll. Immediately roll three attacks.
LUIS: Oh, I'm sweating.
LIAM: (laughs)
MARISHA: Hoo!
LIAM: You tried to stop Jason Statham. Here he comes.
MARISHA and LUIS: (laugh)
BRENNAN: Okay, he kicks this assassin in the chest. She goes flying back 10 feet and lands on the table.
LUIS: Wow.
BRENNAN: He turns over here, takes his sword (grunting) and lobs one of the arms off of the assassin behind him.
LUIS: What? Yes!
BRENNAN: Boom! That is-- But that assassin's still up and going.
LUIS: Okay, okay.
BRENNAN: But he--
MARISHA: Oh my god.
BRENNAN: That is going to be, that is King Gus. In front of you.
LIAM: Yeah.
BRENNAN: This Nama looks, takes a spell glyph, cracks it in half.
LIAM: Damn it.
BRENNAN: And I'm going to need you, I'm going to ask you to roll a d6 for me. Let me know if you roll a one.
LUIS: That sounds bad.
LIAM: I rolled a three.
BRENNAN: Three. He cracks the glyph. (magic crackling) This looks like some dangerous fucked-up magic. A door of purple smoke appears behind him, crackling with lightning. He falls back through it and (snaps fingers) vanishes.
LIAM: (groans)
LUIS: Bastard.
BRENNAN: (whooshing)
LIAM: Give me an arcana check, if you'd like.
MARISHA: Oh, is he Misty Stepping away? Is that what's happening?
LUIS: Or Dimension Door.
MARISHA: Or Dimension Door away?
TALIESIN: You don't get an attack of opportunity on that either, do you?
LIAM: 14.
BRENNAN: 14. If you have War Caster, you do.
MARISHA: Yes.
TALIESIN: Ah, that's--
BRENNAN: 14. On a 14, some teleportation is extremely dangerous in Aramán following the fall of the gods. This is not a full Teleport spell.
LIAM: A shorty short.
BRENNAN: It's a short. You actually say it's a-- Shorty shorts are safe. A Misty Step is a safe spell. This is probably Dimension Door. And even that, on a one through six, something bad would have happened to him.
LIAM: Okay, okay, okay.
TALIESIN: Mm.
BRENNAN: So he's frightened enough that he risks--
LUIS: He risks that.
BRENNAN: So, he vanishes. Da, da, da That is his turn. Bolaire and Azune, you are sharing an initiative.
TALIESIN: Turns out under new rules, feeding a healing potion to someone five feet away from you is a bonus action as well now.
BRENNAN: Okay!
TALIESIN: They have made that less of a pain in the ass.
LUIS: Yeah!
TALIESIN: So I am going to take just--
LUIS: Because of "Baldur's Gate."
MARISHA: Because of "Baldur's Gate"? (laughs)
LUIS: I think it was that in--
TALIESIN: Pirouette spin around, cracking the bottle, open it, and just shoving it into your mouth so it starts to drain into you.
LUIS: (giggles)
TALIESIN: While I turn and face this asshole. As I spin, I am going just for a straight attack and he's standing alone, right?
LUIS: Are you giggling at something--
TALIESIN: There's no one next to him. It's just him.
LUIS: -- that I'm giggling at?
MARISHA: He's being gross. Yeah, yeah, yes. (laughs)
LUIS: (laughs)
TALIESIN: Yeah, you're welcome.
LUIS: (giggles)
TALIESIN: Like I don't know.
LUIS: Of course that gets me up.
TALIESIN: I heard what I said.
LIAM: (laughs)
BRENNAN: And I'm just going to go for a straight stab with the glass sword right into him.
BRENNAN: Okay, go for it.
TALIESIN: Right between the fucking eye. I'll hit what I do. I'll hit, I'm going for it. What is my standard attack? Where are we? There we are. All right. Come on, don't be a dick. 18 to hit.
BRENNAN: 18 hits.
LUIS: Yes!
TALIESIN: All right, that's--
BRENNAN: And 2d4 plus two hits points to you.
LUIS: Oh, oh, oh. You want me to roll it?
BRENNAN: Yeah, go for it.
LUIS: (grunts)
MARISHA: Big money! (shouts)
TALIESIN: Actually--
MARISHA: That one's good, that one's good.
LUIS: Well, it's bad, but--
MARISHA: The one inside is good.
TALIESIN: One second.
LUIS: The one inside is good. 2d4 plus?
BRENNAN: Two.
LUIS: Plus two. Great. Seven.
TALIESIN: Technically, I can use that as a Green-Flame attack, though. It's the same thing, right?
BRENNAN: I believe so, yeah.
TALIESIN: Oh shit, so if you don't mind, I'm just, it doesn't change anything. Just a little extra--
BRENNAN: Yeah, it's one action.
TALIESIN: A little extra kick. So let's see what happens.
BRENNAN: Cool.
TALIESIN: That is-- Yeah, okay. That's 10 points. 10 points of normal damage plus--
BRENNAN: To the one right in front of you here, right?
TALIESIN: To the one right in front of me and then one point of flame damage.
BRENNAN: Da, da, da. Hell yes. Bolaire, you reach around, flame flickering across your glass rapier through the eye and out the back of the head. This assassin falls dead to the ground.
LUIS: Oh, nice.
TALIESIN: I let go of the sword, turn towards the rest of what's happening over there. Oh, actually is that-- He's one of ours. And just re-manifest a sword as that one shatters.
BRENNAN: Hell yes.
LUIS: Yes.
BRENNAN: (grunting) Assassin falls to the ground. That is your action and bonus action. Azune, it is your turn. How many points have you regained?
LUIS: I'm--
TALIESIN: Oh, you roll-- Do you want to roll or should I roll?
LUIS: The healing?
TALIESIN: Yeah.
LUIS: I just rolled it.
MARISHA: He already did.
TALIESIN: Oh, you did. You're good.
LUIS: I did it.
TALIESIN: Well done.
LUIS: Whew, as quickly as my consciousness fades, whew, I pop back up (inhales sharply) and I'm going to stand. I get my full action.
BRENNAN: Cool, yes. It's half your movement. You have to use 15 feet of movement. You stand.
LUIS: Uh-huh. (exhales) And I am going to-- Ooh, I won't make that mistake again. I am going to--
MARISHA: Get the fuck out, get the fuck out.
LUIS: Use my action to draw my shield.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: So now I still have-- Do I still have my weapon in hand?
BRENNAN: You still have your weapon in hand, yeah.
LUIS: Okay, so use my action to draw my shield. And then I am going to... I have seven hit points.
TALIESIN: Ah, ah, ah.
LUIS: Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.
MARISHA: (laughs)
TALIESIN: (The Count voice) Seven hit points. Ah, ah.
MARISHA: Don't The Count his hit points.
LUIS: Let me see what these do.
TALIESIN: Conjure Muppet.
LUIS: (trumpeting) Or actions-- (mumbling) Okay. I'm going to Booming Blade that guy.
BRENNAN: Go for it. Hell yeah.
LUIS: Am I flanking?
BRENNAN: You're flanking. Yep, advantage.
TALIESIN: Ah.
LUIS: Great, excellent. Come on, baby. Ooh, ooh. 15 to hit.
BRENNAN: 15 does not hit.
LUIS: Does not hit.
TALIESIN: (growls)
LUIS: Damn, that was at advantage. Booming Blade misses. (whoosh) I am going to--
TALIESIN: Rough day, man.
LUIS: Yeah, these dice. Oh, you know what? No, no, no. I'm going to Desperate Measures, one failure marked. Give a plus five bonus to a d20 test you just failed.
BRENNAN: You're bloodied. Yes, that's absolutely correct!
LUIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
TALIESIN: Woo!
BRENNAN: Desperate Measures. Okay, Azune.
LUIS: Yes.
TALIESIN: I hate that.
BRENNAN: You are putting everything on the line right now.
MARISHA: Let's go, baby. Let's go!
BRENNAN: You're going to take a death save failure.
LUIS: Yes.
TALIESIN: I hate it.
BRENNAN: Overextend yourself.
LUIS: Yes.
MARISHA: Come on!
BRENNAN: And you're going to what, you add five to that test?
LUIS: I'm going to add five to that test.
LIAM: So that's a 20.
BRENNAN: 20, that is a hit.
LUIS: 20. Okay. (screams) I'm going to roll my damage. It is going to be seven points of damage with my weapon attack.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: And I am going to push him.
TALIESIN: Yeah! I think if he hits a wall, he takes bonus damage.
LUIS: Yeah, I would like to have, if it's fine with you, pivoted just towards, so during this attack I pivoted five, 10, so I can push him away from us.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
LUIS: Closer to whatever that--
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LUIS: -- planetary thingy is.
BRENNAN: Cool. Move here.
LUIS: Uh-huh.
BRENNAN: 10 feet back, bam.
LUIS: In the diagonal, so he's--
BRENNAN: In the diagonal. Okay.
LUIS: -- not adjacent to that other guy here.
BRENNAN: Okay, great. Got you. Right here?
LUIS: Opposite, opposite, opposite.
BRENNAN: Oh, over here?
LUIS: Yeah, over there, yeah.
BRENNAN: Great, perfect.
LUIS: Okay, cool. And he is wrapped in booming energy.
BRENNAN: Hell--
LUIS: And he's bloodied, too, yeah?
BRENNAN: Yes. Oh, no--
LUIS: Okay.
BRENNAN: Extraordinarily bloody, yeah.
LUIS: Okay, great. Whatever-- That was my action. That was bonus action.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
LUIS: I think that's pretty much all my movement so that's my turn.
BRENNAN: Hell yeah.
MARISHA: Brennan, you said there were two assassins here but King Gus dropped one of them, correct?
BRENNAN: He chopped one of their arms off and kicked another one. But the one with the chopped-off arm--
MARISHA: Is still standing.
BRENNAN: -- is still committed to finishing Gus.
LUIS: Wow.
TALIESIN: I mean, what else are you going to do? Yeah, now it's kind of hard.
MARISHA: Yeah, committed.
LUIS: (pants) That's it for me.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: Yeah. That's my bonus action and my action.
BRENNAN: At the end of your turn--
LUIS: Uh-huh?
BRENNAN: Ta, ta, ta, ta.
LUIS: Thank you.
BRENNAN: Rushing towards the doors--
LUIS: Wow, look at that.
BRENNAN: Rushing towards the doors are the guards, your guys' guards.
LUIS: Yes.
BRENNAN: Here we go, da, da, da. They begin to bang on the doors as hard as they can.
LUIS: Got a guy over there.
BRENNAN: Go ahead, if you would, here's Varen right here. Go ahead if you would, Luis, and place them as they join Filoneus trying to batter down that door.
TALIESIN: Maybe, maybe. Can I do this? Probably not, maybe I can.
MARISHA: I don't know. I'm sure Filoneus at this point thinks--
LUIS: That guy is concentrating, we know that. Okay.
MARISHA: I don't think they're going to go after--
LIAM: No, I'm just wondering if Filoneus knows about the--
MARISHA: Oh, with Filoneus.
LIAM: -- Photarch's ploy or not.
LUIS: If he's in on it or--
MARISHA: If he's in on it.
LUIS: I don't know.
LIAM: Or if he's just as unwitting as the attendants.
BRENNAN: Roll damage for Booming Blade, if you'd be so kind. Does he make a save against that or no?
LUIS: No, that is automatic.
BRENNAN: Automatic.
LUIS: If he is moving. Come on. One.
TALIESIN: Again?!
BRENNAN: Swear to God, he had one hit point left.
LUIS: No way.
BRENNAN: Yes, he did.
LUIS: Wow.
BRENNAN: Boom! He thunders forward and collapses to the ground. The assassins at the choke point are no more.
LUIS: Okay. Okay, whoa, that is lucky.
MARISHA: (nervous laugh)
TALIESIN: If you have any more movement, spend it now.
LUIS: I don't.
TALIESIN: That's okay.
LUIS: I used half my movement to get up.
TALIESIN: That's right, you had to spend half to get up.
LUIS: And then I pivoted around.
BRENNAN: Make an attack roll for this Crown of Madness assassin as he closes with one of his allies.
TALIESIN: All right, let's see what happens.
LUIS: Glorious.
TALIESIN: Oh, if he's not standing next to them at the beginning of his turn, it doesn't work.
BRENNAN: Doesn't work? Okay, gotcha.
TALIESIN: But he does get a save.
BRENNAN: At the end of his turn, right?
TALIESIN: Yeah, at the end of his turn he gets to.
BRENNAN: Copy that.
LUIS: Does he move towards him?
TALIESIN: He's moving around. It's just chaos far as I know.
LUIS: Got it, okay.
TALIESIN: But if he's not standing next to somebody for me to hit, then it don't work.
BRENNAN: All right. Our assassins are flanking King Gus.
TALIESIN: Okay.
LIAM: (anxious growl)
LUIS: I've been there.
BRENNAN: This is the moment of truth, gang.
LUIS: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Our druid sees this happening here. (sigh) Okay.
TALIESIN: Fuck.
BRENNAN: They are each going to make two attacks with advantage. Murray, this was the moment that you had readied an action for, correct?
MARISHA: Yes, I have.
BRENNAN: Okay.
MARISHA: And this is the assassins making an attack on King Gus?
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MARISHA: Yes, right, yes? Okay, I was reading my sheet, I'm sorry.
BRENNAN: Are you going to leap-- I will say this, you either have to give me a sleight of hand check to force him to do it or I will allow you to, thinking of how to make him use it. I guess-- he's not poisoned anymore. What would you do in this moment? Would you just toss it to him? Would you try to break it on him?
MARISHA: I would try and break it on him. I think it would be a full almost CPR kind of move where she just smashes it and breaks it on him.
BRENNAN: You reach forward, thud it against his chest.
MARISHA: Yeah.
BRENNAN: (magical shield appears) I will say in this instance, he would use it if he could and you have the spell glyph, so I'm going to allow it. (explosion) He is Shielded. His armor class when he was prone was going to be 13. You got him his shield back, goes to 15. With the Shield spell, that's 20.
LUIS: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
TALIESIN: Ugh.
BRENNAN: I'm going to announce the poison on their blades dissipates on the first hit. They have two attacks. So if one of them misses two attacks in a row, it means their poison stays, but it's not used. That's a big deal.
MARISHA: It is not used, okay.
BRENNAN: They are rolling with advantage because they are flanking. This is the big moment. Okay.
MARISHA: Holy. They're rolling with advantage?
BRENNAN: Rolling with advantage.
TALIESIN: He's down.
LIAM: But he's got 20 AC.
LUIS: 20 AC.
LIAM: 20 AC.
TALIESIN: 20 AC while down is insane.
BRENNAN: Miss.
TALIESIN and LUIS: Okay.
TALIESIN: Big money.
BRENNAN: Hit.
LUIS: Ugh, okay.
TALIESIN: Okay.
BRENNAN: Hit.
LUIS: Ugh!
TALIESIN: Fuck.
BRENNAN: Miss. That's my fourth roll, I believe?
LUIS: That's your fourth roll.
LIAM: Yes, that was four.
BRENNAN: So two hits, two misses.
LUIS: Yes. Two hits, two misses.
TALIESIN: That's a hit.
BRENNAN: Miss because of Shield. (relieved sighs)
TALIESIN: Goddamn, he holds well.
BRENNAN: Miss because of the Shield.
LIAM: So two hits.
LUIS: Miss, fuck yes.
BRENNAN: So two hits.
LIAM: Six attacks, two hits.
LUIS: Nice job. (claps)
LIAM: Through the energy of the Shield.
BRENNAN: Okay, he fails the save.
LUIS: No matter what else happens here.
MARISHA: (laughs)
LUIS: That was satisfying still, nonetheless.
LIAM: Eyes on Gus.
LUIS: (pants)
MARISHA: Oh my god.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: Yeah.
LIAM: He's going for the sack, you guys. Those aren't almonds.
BRENNAN: One, two-- (sputters)
LUIS: (chuckles)
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: Brennan just eats dice.
MARISHA: (laughs)
LUIS: (munches)
TALIESIN: There's so many dice in his hand right now.
BRENNAN: Okay.
TALIESIN: It's like limes.
MARISHA: Too many limes.
LUIS: But why?
BRENNAN: Poison.
LUIS: Oh.
BRENNAN: Poison blades.
TALIESIN: Yep.
LUIS: Oh, but these are the two attacks that hit?
MARISHA: Yeah, the first two that attacked.
TALIESIN: The same way it hit you.
BRENNAN: 16. 26.
LUIS: Yeah.
BRENNAN: 35.
TALIESIN: Oh shit.
BRENNAN: 36.
TALIESIN: As long as we can get to him with a healing spell.
BRENNAN: 46.
LUIS: Or a potion.
BRENNAN: 51.
MARISHA: The potion's under--
LUIS: Potion's right next to him. Under the table.
MARISHA: It's under the table.
BRENNAN: 56.
MARISHA: The druid is up, though, the druid's here.
LUIS: I think we should invent a poison--
BRENNAN: Gus--
LUIS: -- instead of what we're doing.
BRENNAN: King Augustus Valian takes 70 points of damage.
TALIESIN: Fuck.
BRENNAN: Is bloodied but up.
LUIS: Whoa!
TALIESIN: Whoa.
BRENNAN: Bloodied but up.
LIAM: He's a beast.
LUIS: According to my calculations, he's approximately level one. (laughter)
BRENNAN: According to your calculations. But I just want to point out that had he been poisoned, a lot of that damage, it's huge. So "(grunt)" these swords, (repeated pummeling), as he "(groans)," heaving with blood. He's got the hound's pommel sword in his hand. That is the executioner's turn. Nat 20 on the save to come out of Crown of Madness.
LUIS: No!
BRENNAN: Another assassin joins the fray.
MARISHA: Seven! Can I use portent?
BRENNAN: You want to use seven?
MARISHA: Seven!
BRENNAN: He stays under Crown of Madness. (clamoring) Okay. Stays under it.
LIAM: (warbles)
BRENNAN: Keeps one more assassin out of the fray, incredible.
MARISHA: At this point, I think Murray's still invisible and she just has a little trickle of blood. (laughter) As she quietly-- If anyone were to notice, you would probably just see a few drips of blood from her nose appearing on the stone beneath her. I hope I didn't just use that poorly.
BRENNAN: Unbelievable.
LUIS: No, that's great.
BRENNAN: Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40.
LIAM: Buying us time, we still need to get the doors open.
LUIS: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Knight rushing through to his King. Murray, that's going to be your turn.
LIAM: Somebody's got to pop the top off that wizard.
LUIS: Yep.
MARISHA: All right.
TALIESIN: Working on it.
MARISHA: Okay. So wait, there's still several of these fucks standing around King Gus, right?
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
LIAM: They get another chance to do that, he's done. He's down at least.
LUIS: Yeah. Yeah.
MARISHA: Murray is still back against the wall.
LIAM: Shield's gone.
BRENNAN: Shield's gone is the more important thing.
LUIS: Yes.
BRENNAN: Two hits were negated by that Shield.
MARISHA: Luis, do you mind moving me behind this assassin up against the wall?
LUIS: Yep, right here?
MARISHA: Back to the wall, yep. And that's probably where I would've been for all of this action anyway.
LUIS: Yeah.
MARISHA: Here we go, y'all.
LUIS: Yep, yep.
MARISHA: Here we go.
LUIS: You've got this.
MARISHA: Murray takes out her dagger. She's going to cast True Strike right on this assassin's throat right in front of her. She takes the dagger and she's going to try and slit his throat, dropping her Invisibility. We are in it now, we're in it.
BRENNAN: Let's go.
LUIS: We're in it. He's the guy that took a major hit, too, I think, right?
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm. Yes, he's the guy who got his arm chopped off.
LUIS: He's missing an arm?
BRENNAN: He's missing an arm.
MARISHA: Oh, it's a natural 19.
BRENNAN: Hell yes.
MARISHA: Plus seven. So it's going to be 26 to hit.
LUIS: Well done.
BRENNAN: 26 to hit is a hit.
MARISHA: You fucking-- Why you did that sound? (babbles)
TALIESIN: Having you look down is awful.
MARISHA: Fuck. Eight damage.
BRENNAN: Great.
MARISHA: To try and go for this guy.
LIAM: This is the armless guy?
BRENNAN: Yes.
MARISHA: The armless guy.
BRENNAN: This guy's looking on death's door, looking very close to being dead.
LUIS: (exhales nervously)
TALIESIN: He's taken a lot of damage.
BRENNAN: As the dagger goes across. Any bonus actions from Murray?
MARISHA: She's not really a bonus action girly.
BRENNAN: You got it.
MARISHA: But I will-- If I move away from him, I'll probably get an attack of opportunity, won't I?
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MARISHA: I'm staying base-to-base with the assassin, I guess.
BRENNAN: Hell yeah.
TALIESIN: It gives advantage to Gus.
LUIS: To him.
MARISHA: That's true, right? It'd be flanking with Gus.
BRENNAN: It does. Yes, he's flanking. Okay.
MARISHA: All right. And Murray is in the room.
BRENNAN: Murray. Hal, that is going to be your turn.
LUIS: Come on, baby.
LIAM: So this guy just rocketed away out of my sight.
BRENNAN: Out of your sight.
LIAM: The room is a shambles. Am I able to hear any calamity happening anywhere in the building from where I am?
BRENNAN: The party is in chaos outside.
LIAM: The party's in chaos. Okay, so I'm so far away, I think all I really can do is the illusion of this Dark Enforcer with the Azgra mask is still up. So I'm going to get as far towards, I'll run out into the crowd and try to quickly assess as I go what's going on and I think I'm going to have to use movement, action, and my orc trait, Adrenaline--
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: -- to do a full 90 feet.
BRENNAN: Cool, hell yeah. 90 feet, you're just sprinting for this chamber here, right?
LIAM: Yes.
BRENNAN: (footsteps thudding) Going as fast as you can, sprinting through the party. You see chaos, commotion everywhere. People are shouting. As you rush through, ta, ta, ta, that's going to be--
TALIESIN: Yep, yep, yep.
BRENNAN: Okay.
TALIESIN: Way better.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm. (sighs)
TALIESIN: Do I have anything else I can fucking do right now?
BRENNAN: Okay. What would he do, what would he do? Druid moves next to the king and is going to cast Cure Wounds.
TALIESIN: Fuck yeah.
LUIS: Yes.
BRENNAN: Okay. You see he lays a hand on King Gus, cures him for some injury. Gus is going to see you appear behind him and attack one of the assassins. Just turns and goes, "Good on ya."
MARISHA: I'm with you!
BRENNAN: With advantage. Miss, sadly. Hit. That's a nat 20. (cheering)
BRENNAN: With the advantage, you see that he looks at you, sees your size and solid build, and just shoulder-checks the dude to tabletop him over you, and "(grunt)" brings the longsword through the rib cage, kills the assassin. That assassin is no more.
MARISHA: Yes!
LUIS: Yes!
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: Yes, yes, yes,
MARISHA: Okay.
TALIESIN: Yes, yes.
BRENNAN: That's King Gus.
MARISHA: Tides are turning.
LUIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
BRENNAN: Azune and Bolaire.
LUIS: Okay. You went first last time.
TALIESIN: I'm fine either way.
LUIS: Go for it.
TALIESIN: Yeah, I'll start. So we both see this invisible fuck.
LUIS: Yes, we do.
TALIESIN: I'm going to take my 30 feet just walking straight into the room.
BRENNAN: Gotcha. Five, 10, 15, 20.
TALIESIN: I'm walking with great confidence.
BRENNAN: Great, 30 feet.
TALIESIN: Then I'm going to throw, not even making eye contact, which is weird for me anyway because it's hard to tell where I look, I'm just going to cast and throw a Mind Sliver right at that man with invisibility, straight into him.
BRENNAN: Hell yeah, go for it. What is the save on Mind Sliver?
TALIESIN: He'll probably save, but just in case, it's an intelligence 14 save.
BRENNAN: He does not save.
TALIESIN: Mm, hm hmm! So, target takes 1d6 psychic plus, where's my 1d4 for that? That's two psychic damage. But he also has to take a negative one to his next saving throw. Whatever the fuck, I don't even give a fuck.
BRENNAN: How much damage was that, sorry?
TALIESIN: Two.
BRENNAN: Two damage, okay.
TALIESIN: And then a negative one to his next saving throw.
BRENNAN: Copy that.
TALIESIN: I hate that. I rolled a two and a one.
MARISHA: That's rough, buddy.
BRENNAN: Well, he does have to make a concentration check.
TALIESIN: Yep, with a negative one to it.
BRENNAN: With a negative one to it.
TALIESIN: Yeah. So he will need, he needs 11 or higher.
TALIESIN: Mm-hmm. Okay, I can take that.
MARISHA: Pretty good.
TALIESIN: I'll take that odd.
BRENNAN: Nat one, baby.
LUIS: Wow!
MARISHA: Oh my god.
LUIS: Nice.
TALIESIN: That spike of glass goes right, (shatter).
BRENNAN: All three doors reverberate and smash open as the spell ends, and you see that spellcaster look horrified out at everybody.
TALIESIN: We're saving the king, gentlemen. Get on it.
LUIS: Yes. Yes.
LIAM: (laughs)
BRENNAN: (laughs) Unbelievable, Bolaire.
TALIESIN: Fuck yeah.
BRENNAN: Great. Hell yeah, hell yeah.
TALIESIN: Fuck, we are monsters!
BRENNAN: I love it.
MARISHA: Insane!
BRENNAN: I fucking love it. There we go.
MARISHA: This fight is crazy!
BRENNAN: This fight is crazy.
LUIS: This fight is crazy.
BRENNAN: Azune, that is going to be your turn.
LUIS: Okay.
TALIESIN: What in fucking shit is happening?
MARISHA: I know, I don't know.
LUIS: So See Invisibility--
BRENNAN: Yeah?
LUIS: -- persists even though I dropped unconscious.
BRENNAN: Yes.
LUIS: It didn't drop, according to what I just searched. So is he still invisible, though? Or did he drop his invisibility with what just happened?
BRENNAN: Oh, his invisibility is still active. You believe it might be probably a potion or a spell glyph.
LUIS: Yes, that's what I was thinking because with a spell glyph we've learned you don't have to maintain concentration on the thing that you did with the spell glyph.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
LUIS: Cool, so I'm going to-- There's a lot happening over here. People are about to come in. I am going to double-move.
BRENNAN: Cool.
LUIS: Towards--
BRENNAN: Five, 10, 15, 20.
LUIS: Yeah, this direction towards the king.
BRENNAN: 45, 50, 55, 60. Right here?
LUIS: Yes.
BRENNAN: Great.
LUIS: I am going to, with my bonus action. Oh, that guy is right next to me. (ticking) I don't like being next to him. I'd like to move around.
MARISHA: He's got that Crown of Madness still.
LUIS: Instead of moving straight here, I'm going to move around this way and be on the same plane as Bolaire, please. Because that guy--
BRENNAN: Oh, you want to be over here?
LUIS: I want to be across on the other side of this row of tables.
BRENNAN: Great.
LUIS: I have to play it safe. Double-move. Bonus action, chugging a potion, my healing potion.
BRENNAN: Hell yeah, go for it.
LUIS: So, I'm going to, that's 2d4 plus--
TALIESIN: I don't leave-- (mumbles)
MARISHA: What?
LUIS: What is it, 2d4 plus?
TALIESIN: My damage doesn't create--
LUIS: Healing potion.
TALIESIN: -- blood or anything, so they're still invisible.
MARISHA: Right, psychic.
LUIS: Great, that's my turn. I heal for five plus whatever the modifier is, which I will go find right now, for the healing potion.
BRENNAN: Hell yes, okay. Da, da, da. Okay.
LUIS: 2d4 plus two.
BRENNAN: After your turn, our friend here who's been holding concentration is going to--
MARISHA: I chewed a nail off with nerves. (laughs)
LUIS: So now I'm at 14.
BRENNAN: Looking out at this very dynamic field, the doors have all flung open. This is very, very bad.
MARISHA: Including these doors as well, in front of--
TALIESIN: All are open.
BRENNAN: Yeah, yeah, those ones. All three are open.
LUIS: Right here.
BRENNAN: Okay.
TALIESIN: Oh good, that's going to be my next spell.
LUIS: What, what, what?
TALIESIN: I've got a great idea.
LUIS: Okay, okay, okay.
BRENNAN: With the doors open like that, you see this spellcaster right here. Invisibility not based on concentration. The doors fly open and that caster that was having some kind of Telekinesis is going to reach over with a hand, staying invisible and grabs, holding a hand at King Gus.
LUIS: Oh.
BRENNAN: Reaches out and yanks him back with a telekinetic shove. Gus is knocked prone on this table right here in the center.
MARISHA: Wow.
BRENNAN: As far away from the other guards as possible.
LUIS: Uh-oh.
BRENNAN: And Gus takes a not large amount of damage, but he's low enough that he's under a quarter of his hit points.
LUIS: Okay, okay. Oof.
BRENNAN: Okay. Veterans are going to go. These guys charge into a blocked doorway. Do me a favor, Azune--
LUIS: Uh-huh.
BRENNAN: -- and just roll 4d20 for me.
LUIS: 4d20, okay.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
LUIS: Mm-hmm.
MARISHA: Come on!
LUIS: Oh my gosh. A 10, an eight, a four, and a one.
BRENNAN: Got you.
TALIESIN: We're having a bad day over here.
LUIS: We are, what happened?
BRENNAN: Okay, these are--
LUIS: Somebody else touch my dice. Oh no! Now it's your curse.
TALIESIN: Yeah, I know, there you go. We got both now.
LUIS: (laughs) Yep.
TALIESIN: Shit. Send them back to me when after my turn.
LUIS: Take them already.
BRENNAN: Actually, you know what?
LUIS: Yes.
BRENNAN: I'm so sorry, I'm going to take that back.
LUIS: Okay.
TALIESIN: Oh.
BRENNAN: There's a different thing that makes more sense for him to do here, my apologies. Gus is back in the ring over here.
LUIS: Oh.
TALIESIN: Better not.
BRENNAN: As these guys charge in, (exhales heavily) he casts Dispel Magic on this executioner.
TALIESIN: Okay.
LUIS: Glad I didn't move.
TALIESIN: Okay.
BRENNAN: Dispel Magic on the executioner. With that, these guys are going to rush in here. Da da da. Surrounding you.
LUIS: (sighs)
TALIESIN: They know me.
BRENNAN: These guards are going to rush in and flank the assassins over here.
LUIS: These guys over here?
BRENNAN: Yeah, give me another 4d20 rolls.
LUIS: Okay.
TALIESIN: My mask has got the mark, so.
LUIS: Crap.
TALIESIN: Unless they're going to get, unless something's weird, real weird. Hey!
LUIS: Oh my gosh!
BRENNAN: Let me know if they're 12s or higher.
LUIS: 12, one 12!
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: Everything else is below, and another one.
MARISHA: Damn.
LUIS: 12, four, three, one.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: What are you doing to me?
BRENNAN: Rushing forward, you see that your soldiers rush in, (clanging) there's a stone hall filled with the clanging of metal as they rush in. Varen rushes in. And at the front of this legion, looks at you charging in and goes, "Azune, what's the mission?" And hears you shouting "We're here to save the king."
TALIESIN: Yeah.
BRENNAN: As he shouts, "Azune"--
LUIS: Mm-hmm.
BRENNAN: -- I need Murray, Bolaire, and you
LUIS: Uh-huh.
BRENNAN: -- to roll insight. And Azune, I want you to roll with advantage.
LUIS: Oh god, I know what this is for.
MARISHA: I, what? Insight.
LUIS: It's that guy.
TALIESIN: Ugh, god, why? What is happening?
LUIS: Ooh, that's a good roll. A 21 for me.
TALIESIN: Thank god.
MARISHA: 14 for Murray.
TALIESIN: Eight.
BRENNAN: What'd we get? 14, what's that?
MARISHA: 14.
BRENNAN: 14, what we get here?
TALIESIN and BRENNAN: Eight.
BRENNAN: What'd you get here?
LUIS: 21.
BRENNAN: Azune, the assassin that was kicked onto the table by King Gus.
LUIS: Uh-huh.
BRENNAN: On a 21, you said?
LUIS: Yes.
BRENNAN: As Varen shouts at you, whips to look at you through a full helm, (whooshing). Looks directly at you, sword out. It is the top of the next round. Executioners go or assassins go. The executioner turns to see Azune and is going to bound across the room.
LUIS: Oh, oh.
BRENNAN: Saying, "You should stay down, guardsmen, ah!" Sprinting across the room, this assassin leaves King Gus and leaps in the way.
LUIS: (gasps)
BRENNAN: As he reaches out with his unused poisoned sword and is going to strike, going for you and hitting the other assassin as they jump in the way.
LUIS: (exhales) Wait.
TALIESIN: What? What? Okay.
LUIS: Is he?
BRENNAN: That is a-- The executioner hits.
MARISHA: Crown of Madness is gone.
LUIS: It's gone.
TALIESIN: Oh yeah.
LIAM: Yeah.
LUIS: They're all acting out of their own free will.
BRENNAN: Da da da. It is possible, let me see here. Okay, con save.
MARISHA: Do you have fans?
BRENNAN: Hold on a second.
LUIS: Of course.
MARISHA: (laughs)
TALIESIN: Shit's getting weird.
BRENNAN: I'm going to roll this in front of--
MARISHA: Disguised somebody?
BRENNAN: I'm going to roll this in front of the board. 30 damage will drop that assassin that has just jumped in there.
LUIS: That assassin is basically being a meat shield for me?
BRENNAN: Being a meat shield for you.
MARISHA, LUIS, and TALIESIN: What?
BRENNAN: We're going to roll.
LIAM: Somebody's puppet.
BRENNAN: Looking for 30.
TALIESIN: Oh!
BRENNAN: 16. 25.
LUIS: Oh, that's--
LIAM: 30.
BRENNAN: That assassin rushes using their whole turn, leaps in front, and catches the dose of the poison (groans) as the assassin whips around right next to you having jumped in the way of you and this other assassin.
LUIS: Uh-huh.
BRENNAN: And you see a pair of sunset eyes looking out of the helm at you.
LUIS: Oh. No.
BRENNAN: She drops--
LUIS: Oh no.
BRENNAN: -- to the ground.
MARISHA: It's just like--
LIAM: Family?
LUIS: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Ah.
BRENNAN: The helm clatters off of her.
LUIS: No.
BRENNAN: And you see Mayali Nayar, your sister, fall to the ground.
TALIESIN: Ohh.
LUIS: Is she dead? Do I know?
BRENNAN: You can make a medicine check on your turn to determine.
LUIS: Okay.
BRENNAN: What I will say here is she has just gone prone, and this executioner has a second attack.
LUIS: Oh no. Ah.
BRENNAN: Two natural fours.
LUIS: Oh.
BRENNAN: As he clangs down, thudding into the stone.
LUIS: Oh my god.
BRENNAN: That is going to be, there is but a single assassin left with Gus right here, no longer has advantage, but making two attacks. Bonus action applies another dose of poison.
LUIS: Oh, dude.
LIAM: No Shield.
TALIESIN: Oh Shield's gone?
LIAM: Yeah, it's a one.
BRENNAN: No Shield.
TALIESIN: Yeah, it's a one and done.
MARISHA: For him, yes.
BRENNAN: 15 armor class. I'll roll the first die out here in the open. It's the first attack. Eight is a miss.
LUIS: Phew!
BRENNAN: Second attack.
TALIESIN: God, I'm having a heart attack.
MARISHA: Uh-huh.
LUIS: Come on, come on, come on.
BRENNAN: 11 plus five is a 15. Gus uses a reaction to use the parry ability, adding two to his armor class.
LUIS: No way.
BRENNAN: For a 17.
BRENNAN: Turns a hit into a miss.
TALIESIN: Oh!
BRENNAN: As he (grunts) shields up!
MARISHA: I want off this rollercoaster,
BRENNAN: "I want off this rollercoaster."
MARISHA and LUIS: (laugh)
BRENNAN: Timmonish knight is going to sprint the rest of the way to his king.
LIAM: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Da da da. Leaping into the fray, that is going to be Murray, that is your turn.
MARISHA: Ah! Dying! (groans) Okay, what do we? Who's in front of me? Who's bad?
BRENNAN: You have one assassin left in front of you who's fighting King Gus.
MARISHA: And he is looking rough?
TALIESIN: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm. King Gus is one hit away from dropping, and there is a world, based on his initiative order, where if he gets dropped on the first hit and double death save failed on the second, that he would roll and die on his turn.
MARISHA: Uh-huh.
BRENNAN: So he's still a turn away from death.
LUIS: Oh god.
TALIESIN: Yep.
MARISHA: Okay.
TALIESIN: Oh yeah, that's right I was going to pick that up.
MARISHA: With the trickle of blood still kind of dripping from Murray's nose, she's going to tap into the fabric of reality--
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
MARISHA: -- yet again as she takes her fingernail quill and rips it across, and she's going to take it and run it right across the brim of her hat.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MARISHA: As she is looking at this assassin across from her.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
MARISHA: And she's going to cast Musical Migraine.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
TALIESIN: Oh.
MARISHA: So he has to make a constitution saving throw.
BRENNAN: Constitution saving throw.
MARISHA: My spell save is 15.
BRENNAN: Fail.
MARISHA: Okay. Okay, he takes 3d6 thunder damage, and he is incapacitated.
BRENNAN: Ooh, incapacitated is so bad.
LUIS: Wow!
MARISHA: Incapacitated.
LUIS: Whoa.
MARISHA: So he takes five--
LUIS: Whoa.
MARISHA: -- six, seven, eight, nine thunder damage. As Murray runs her finger across the brim of her hat, and you almost see it mirrored in this assassin as that sonic line almost scrapes and slices right across his forehead.
LUIS: Zoop.
BRENNAN: (magic crashing) "(screaming)" Amazing. King Gus, with this assassin incapacitated, there is no active enemy within range of King Gus.
MARISHA: And then I'm, I don't like it here. Well, I don't, I'm not base to base with anybody, right?
BRENNAN: No.
TALIESIN: No.
MARISHA: I'm just going to kind of, I know that there's still spellslingers on the board. I'm going to shimmy myself behind this pillar, if you don't mind moving me.
LUIS: I got you.
MARISHA: You can take off that Invisibility ring, too.
LIAM: I don't like this party anymore.
MARISHA: And I'm just going to hide myself behind this pillar to be a little bit--
BRENNAN: Great.
MARISHA: -- out of line of sight.
BRENNAN: Great.
LUIS: Back here?
BRENNAN: Hiding behind the pillar, you're out of line of sight. Hell yes.
LUIS: Good wizard. Good wizard.
MARISHA: Yes, so want to be in line of sight with Gus, but not this spellslinger over here, good.
LUIS: So like that?
MARISHA: Yep, yep, that's fine, yeah.
TALIESIN: That's going to be fun.
BRENNAN: Hal, you are about 80 feet from that front doorway right now. It is your turn.
LIAM: But there's a whole pack of people including Filoneus and two gigantic dogs there?
BRENNAN: Yes, there are.
LIAM: Are Filoneus and the dogs facing inward or are facing out as they appear.
BRENNAN: They're facing inward. They were trying to open the door.
LIAM: The doors exploded open in front of them?
BRENNAN: Yes, correct.
LIAM: Man. And I'm 80 feet away?
BRENNAN: 80 feet away.
LIAM: All right, I have a clarification question.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
LIAM: Way earlier when I first threw up the disguise that I'm wearing, I had said: If I need to, I'll use my orcish Adrenaline Rush.
BRENNAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
LIAM: But you didn't say if I needed it or not. So if I still have it, I'll use it. If not, I will not.
BRENNAN: I'll allow you to use it this round to close distance.
LIAM: Okay. Okay, so I have two of them. One was spent to get as far as I have.
BRENNAN: Mm.
LIAM: I will use the second, but I'm out of gas just to get in the room.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
LIAM: I would hit these guys around the 70-feet mark.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: So I can make it into the room if I can get through that crowd.
BRENNAN: I believe you can. As you get through the crowd, Hal, you push forward into this chamber here. Give me an insight check.
LIAM: Okay, but that's my action.
LIAM and BRENNAN: Bonus action, movement.
LIAM: They're all blown, I can't do anything except perceive.
BRENNAN: Got you.
LIAM: It's a two that I rolled. So for a total of six.
BRENNAN: Total of six. Dead sprint, huffing and puffing into the room, you just sprinted across the Archanade at top speed and are in here watching absolute chaos.
LIAM: And I'm also not recognizable to anyone.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: Unless someone is confused by my appearance and tries to discern who or what I am.
BRENNAN: Hell yeah. You see Gus whips around to his druid and goes, "Hounds!" Druid moves over here and is going to remove poison from Marten, Hound of the King.
TALIESIN: Yes!
MARISHA: Come on, Marten.
BRENNAN: Incredible.
TALIESIN: Oh, tough call.
BRENNAN: Gus is going to that, guy is incapacitated. Looks up at that in the Musical Migraine, sees you duck around the column, winks, and just plants himself, drop shield for a second to grab the sword, boom! Plunges it through the stomach of that remaining assassin.
MARISHA: Murray, especially after he winks, just gives a little like: Whoo!
LUIS: (laughs)
BRENNAN: Incredible.
LUIS: Because Gus winked at you?
MARISHA: Uh-huh. (pants)
BRENNAN: Filoneus rushes inside over the body of the Photarch, "Mother!"
MARISHA: (laughs)
BRENNAN: Marten looks forward here. I know his friend's in trouble. Marten goes, (snarling) "Honorless fiends! (grunting)" And leaps over and bites the throat out of that assassin, finishing him off.
MARISHA: Yes! Come on, Marten!
LIAM: (growls)
BRENNAN: Da da da. Seeing Gus completely un- surrounded by active assassins, this dude here, Tal, roll a d6 for me.
TALIESIN: Mm. Two.
LUIS: Wee-oh.
BRENNAN: The spellcaster hits a glyph and vanishes.
LUIS: Fuck.
LIAM and MARISHA: Oh!
LIAM: Yeah, you better run.
BRENNAN: Bum bum bum.
TALIESIN: That certainly makes me decide what I'm going to be doing.
BRENNAN: Okay, that is going to be Bolaire and Azune.
TALIESIN: You want to go first, or--?
LUIS: You go first.
TALIESIN: Okay, because I'm going to be-- Mm. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
LUIS: Oh, oh, that guy disappeared?
MARISHA: Yeah, he bamfed.
LUIS: I can go first, if you want me to.
BRENNAN: Only assassin active in the room is the executioner up on the table.
LUIS: Yeah.
LIAM: Over your sister.
MARISHA: Over your sister!
LUIS: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Okay, I can. Yeah, let me try and do a thing first. Ooh. I'm going to try Phantasmal Force.
MARISHA: Nice.
TALIESIN: No, yeah, I'm going to try Phantasmal Force on this motherfucker.
BRENNAN: Go for it!
TALIESIN: That's an intelligence 14 save.
BRENNAN: That is a failure.
TALIESIN: Oh god. The king's escaping. The king's escaping and drawing a crossbow and aiming it at him.
MARISHA: Oh.
LUIS: I don't know, I think.
TALIESIN: The king has crawled away--
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
TALIESIN: -- and is about to take a shot at the assassin. Better do something about that.
BRENNAN: Incredible.
TALIESIN: In fact, the king, oh no, is right there.
BRENNAN: Right there? Okay.
TALIESIN: In fact, yeah.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm. The king is right there? Okay.
TALIESIN: Yeah, and definitely crawling away, and is about to make a ranged attack against our assassin.
BRENNAN: Hell yeah. Da da da. Awesome.
TALIESIN: I hate her.
BRENNAN: He is fully charmed. (grunting) You've been playing tricks on this dude's mind the whole fight.
TALIESIN: Oh. That's what you get for being an idiot in a, you know, don't walk into a museum if you're a shmuck.
BRENNAN: Azune, that's you.
TALIESIN: I'm also, I'm going to be starting to move.
BRENNAN: Cool.
TALIESIN: A little bit, yeah and yeah.
BRENNAN: Joining Azune here?
TALIESIN: Yeah, joining Azune there.
BRENNAN: Great.
LUIS: I see this guy bring his, wielding an axe, right?
BRENNAN: Wielding an axe, but you see that, you see his mind (speaks gibberish), and he turns. Thank you so much.
TALIESIN: I'm literally.
BRENNAN: But you, yeah, Bolaire comes to your side, and you (whooshing) spell goes off. Azune, that is your turn.
MARISHA: It's for your--
TALIESIN: Hold, hold.
LUIS: For what? For what?
TALIESIN: Hold.
LUIS: (grunts)
TALIESIN: If he makes a strike, then, wait until-- Hold, hold.
LUIS: Mm. (groans) I then--
TALIESIN: Does it look like he's about to turn or does it look like-- versus concentration?
BRENNAN: Oh, you feel the spell take hold on the assassin.
TALIESIN: Okay.
LUIS: I'm going to--
TALIESIN: Or get your sister out of there.
LUIS: I'm going to interpose myself. My sister's fallen unconscious. I'm going to move next to her, so that I can, if I need to try to interpose myself between her and him.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LUIS: And I'm going to go down on one knee, and I'm going to touch her.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
LUIS: I'm going to hold her hand. I'm going to go for her hand.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LUIS: And I'm going to say: Don't leave me. I am going to Lay on Hands.
TALIESIN: Fuck yes, good call. Good call, good call, good call.
LUIS: My eyes start to glow. It looks like the sun almost sets and then rises again in my eyes. And it feels like a heartbeat has energy timed with the beating of my heart, moves from my chest, down my arm, into my hand, and into hers, I'm giving her, I'd give her everything I have, all I have, up to five hit points that I can give her, and I know I wouldn't waste. I would give it all.
BRENNAN: Having avoided the axe stroke from the executioner, energy flows through your hand. Those beautiful sunset eyes open. Her helm's rolled off. Whatever she's done in life, they trusted her with that spell bolt in the crossbow, the one that fired at the Photarch. You look up, she looks gaunt, her eyes flutter open. Long, dark red hair, braided, flowing back from her. She opens up. The muscles of her face have atrophied from a life you have not been party to and cannot imagine. She looks withered, not of body, but of something more profound. As she looks up at you, she's experiencing no small amount of pain from the sword blow that just was knit shut to prevent her from succumbing to that wound. You have staunched the bleeding, but she's also feeling pain in her face, as muscles that have not moved in many years crease into a smile. She looks up and goes, "I remember."
LUIS: (gasps)
BRENNAN: You hear ghostly Varen's voice saying, "Keep one alive! Keep one alive!"
LUIS: Keep one, keep this one alive!
BRENNAN: It is the top of the next round, and I need you to roll a d6.
LUIS: (sniffs) (chuffs) Six.
TALIESIN: Ooh!
BRENNAN: She looks at you and says, "I don't know that I'll ever know a moment this happy again."
LUIS: No, no, no, no, no, no.
BRENNAN: "My little brother."
LUIS: (gasps) No, I need more time, I need--
BRENNAN: Crack. Breaks a Dimension Door rune and vanishes.
TALIESIN: Motherfuck--
LIAM: What the fuck? What the fuck?!
LUIS: That was my bonus action?
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
TALIESIN: Goddamn it.
LUIS: If I still have the opportunity to take my action--
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
LUIS: Bolaire, you see that I'm about to lose my shit, and I'm about to strike at that man that you--
TALIESIN: I may step right in front of you.
LUIS: I lunge forward.
TALIESIN: If I can-- Yeah, I know that's, yeah, I know that's a difficult thing. Actually, yeah, because I-- hmm, I didn't take my whole movement, I'm-- Shit. I don't know how, yeah.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
TALIESIN: That might be my--
BRENNAN: I'll allow you to step in front.
LUIS: I'm not a thing, I'm not a thing, I'm not a thing. I'm a person, I'm a person.
TALIESIN: Oh, oh. Oh, wait a minute.
LUIS: Yes?
TALIESIN: I'm going to use my reaction for Command.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
LUIS: Okay.
TALIESIN: Calm. Making it-- Make a--
BRENNAN: A wisdom save.
TALIESIN: Make a wisdom save.
LUIS: Mm. Can I choose to fail?
BRENNAN: Yeah, you can choose to fail.
TALIESIN: It's just one good breath, that's all it is. It may go away after.
BRENNAN: You see your sister's blood dripping off that weapon, but Bolaire's voice resonates within you. This is the only living assassin in the room. You see Varen point at him. As you succumb, do you use your action to strike or no?
LUIS: (sighs) I don't. I feel I've left my shield on the ground. I raise my warhammer towards this man.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
LUIS: And I say: Arrest him!
BRENNAN: As you call that out, Varen points, and your Magpies begin to flood into the room.
TALIESIN: Is he going to do it?
BRENNAN: He, on his turn, is going to rush over here.
TALIESIN: Yep.
BRENNAN: And you see he takes-- You see that Filoneus, holding his mother's body, imposes himself. This guy lashes out with his axe and thuds it into Filoneus' side. We are going to-- This is going to be our last round of combat. Everything has unfolded in this wild way. That is the last assassin to go. That Timmonish knight is going to rush over here and--
TALIESIN: Oh, this is on me, I suppose.
BRENNAN: Timmonish knight knocks this guy prone, knocks the assassin prone.
TALIESIN: Fair. Damn it.
MARISHA: (breathes heavily)
BRENNAN: You see that-- Murray, that is your turn. You see Filoneus, having just been injured, says, "I'll kill him!" And is raising his weapon to attempt to finish off the assassin.
TALIESIN: Mm.
LUIS: Oh, Filoneus?
TALIESIN: That's on me.
BRENNAN: Filoneus.
LUIS: Ooh.
TALIESIN: Maybe you can hit him.
LUIS: Ah!
MARISHA: Can I try, very quickly, to get a sense of if Filoneus is in on this ruse and what the fuck is going on with the Photarch?
BRENNAN: Give me insight.
LIAM: Because he could be trying to get rid of the last bit of evidence on scene.
LUIS: Uh-huh. Yes.
MARISHA: 100%, I think that's exactly what he's doing.
TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
LUIS: Operating under that assumption.
MARISHA: I think he is in on it. I'm going to guess he's in on it. Okay. Come on, come on, baby. That's good, that's a natural 18 for 19 insight.
LUIS: Yeah, he's in on it.
BRENNAN: Filoneus' rage is manufactured.
MARISHA: This bitch, this bitch.
LUIS: Bad actors everywhere.
MARISHA: Bad actors. (chuckling)
BRENNAN: Action from Murray or bonus action.
MARISHA: Hold Person on Filoneus.
TALIESIN: Ee!
LUIS: Yes!
BRENNAN: Ooh! Okay! This is probably our last crucial roll of the combat.
LUIS: Okay.
MARISHA: I have no portents left. No portents!
LUIS: Okay.
BRENNAN: Okay, here we go.
LIAM: There's no more portent.
LUIS: Wait, wait, hold on. Okay, let me think of something.
MARISHA: ♪ Da da da da da ♪
LUIS: Hold on, I have to check something. I have a thing, I think I have a thing.
TALIESIN: You do?
LUIS: I just have to make sure that I understand the rules. (frantic gibberish) He's going to roll that motherfucker at disadvantage! I'm going to use a Luck point against him.
BRENNAN: (laughs)
MARISHA: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
BRENNAN: Okay.
MARISHA: Yep, yep, yep, yep.
BRENNAN: Well, your difficulty is 14, correct?
MARISHA: Yep, yep, yep, yep. 15.
BRENNAN: 15, okay. So he is going to succeed on a seven or higher.
LUIS: Oh, oh, I'm sorry, I can't.
BRENNAN: And roll in front of board.
LUIS: It doesn't work that way.
MARISHA: I can.
LUIS: You can?
MARISHA: I have Luck points, right?
LUIS: It's disadvantage when a creature rolls a d20 for an attack roll against you. I can spend a Luck point to impose disadvantage.
MARISHA: Oh, against you.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LUIS: Yep.
BRENNAN: You're looking for, so we're going to roll a single die.
MARISHA: You're right, you're right. You're right.
LUIS: Okay, give me that back.
BRENNAN: You're looking for a six or lower here.
TALIESIN: (anxious noise)
LIAM: Here we go.
BRENNAN: Here we go, hold on.
LIAM: Here we go.
BRENNAN: Six or lower.
TALIESIN: Yeah, this is on me.
LIAM: Come on, come on.
BRENNAN: 17.
MARISHA: 17, okay.
LUIS: Okay.
MARISHA: That's okay. That's okay.
BRENNAN: Spell goes off. Boom, Filoneus resists it. Murray, that's-- Da da da. That's you.
MARISHA: Yep, that's me.
BRENNAN: Hal, it is going to be your turn.
LIAM: So Murray's visible, and I saw you casting at Filoneus?
MARISHA: Yes.
LIAM: I'm like, I'm trying to make sense of what's going on. Oh my god. I mean, what would I do? The Photarch is at my feet, he's raging.
BRENNAN: Yeah, Filoneus is raging. He's about to kill that assassin. I don't think--
MARISHA: He's trying to hide the evidence!
BRENNAN: Give me a perception 15, actually. I don't think anyone saw Murray casting that Hold Person. You're hiding behind a column, it's chaos in here.
LIAM: Perception 15, you said?
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: It's 17.
BRENNAN: Cool. You notice Murray cast a spell, eyeing Filoneus, but most other people don't notice it.
LIAM: So you were trying to hold him.
MARISHA: I'm trying to get him to stop.
LUIS: What he's about to do.
MARISHA: What he's about to do.
LIAM: Right, right.
TALIESIN: Have I noticed that this is all going tits up or no?
BRENNAN: Yes.
LUIS: We can see that--
BRENNAN: You can see that Varen and Azune are both calling for his arrest, and Filoneus is saying, "I'm going to kill him."
TALIESIN: Do I have a way of dropping? I can't drop the spell except on my turn.
BRENNAN: You can drop it.
LUIS: You can drop it immediately.
TALIESIN: I'm dropping Phantasmal.
BRENNAN: Okay.
TALIESIN: Because now I see this is a clusterfuck.
BRENNAN: Cool.
TALIESIN: I do not know what the fuck-- I mean, I thought I knew what was going on.
LIAM: What's the man?
TALIESIN: I was wrong.
LIAM: So the guy that he's trying to kill, what's his state?
LUIS: He's prone.
BRENNAN: Prone.
LIAM: But that's it. He's awake, he's a--
TALIESIN: Photarch?
BRENNAN: Oh, the assassin?
LUIS: The assassin.
LIAM: Yeah.
BRENNAN: The assassin is awake and injured, but yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
LIAM: So I have as much time to figure this out as I would of Hal running in the room.
TALIESIN: And he probably has a look on him, on his face at the moment.
MARISHA: Your sister getting away could be good, it could be good.
LUIS: Yeah.
MARISHA: Keeps them-- If they are trying to hide evidence here.
LUIS: Yeah. I mean, her getting away is good. So she can survived.
MARISHA: Brainwashed?
LIAM: So and--
MARISHA: She could be brainwashed.
TALIESIN: I don't know.
LIAM: This is Filoneus.
TALIESIN: We'll find out.
BRENNAN: Yep, yep, yeah.
LIAM: But he's here or something?
BRENNAN: Yep, that's Filoneus, he's there.
LUIS: I'll tell you, I have an idea.
MARISHA: Okay, okay.
TALIESIN: Mm.
LIAM: (sighs)
BRENNAN: I think looking at the battlefield here, Hal, I'll also give you the social reality. You just saw Murray do that. Gus is looking like he is mostly coming down from the adrenaline and is being tended to because he's very close to death, and they don't know if there's other enemies outside. So he's not in the arrest-him mindset right now. He's like, "Go save my other hound. Where's Carbrady?" Thinking about his people in the room. So he's not focused on the madness happening on the other side of the banquet tables. All of your guys' guards for the party are focused on, "We've got to arrest this guy."
LUIS: Yeah.
BRENNAN: We're coming in here to arrest this guy. Then Filoneus looks like he's going to drop this axe on this dude. So that's your reality right now.
LIAM: (exhales heavily) I think what I'm going to do then is bonus action. You'll hear possibly a familiar voice. I'm still masking it, but I'll say, "Azune!" And a familiar tickling at the back of your brain stem hits and you get Bardic Inspiration.
LUIS: Oh.
LIAM: And then as an action, I can give the Help action, right?
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm. Yes.
LIAM: I'm going to do that for the assassin.
BRENNAN: Okay.
LIAM: And just interpose.
BRENNAN: Okay, great.
LIAM: That's how I'll help is I'll draw Liar's Blade, which is also disguised at this point.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: And stand over the assassin, I guess?
BRENNAN: Yeah. You leap on the table, stand over the assassin to prevent Filoneus from striking.
LIAM: Yes.
BRENNAN: You're still disguised. You've given Bardic Inspiration.
LIAM: Yes.
BRENNAN: Hell yes. Following you, you see our druid is, again, ministering to the king and healing him. Filoneus is going to take an attack at disadvantage because you're giving the Help action to that assassin.
LIAM: Probably just looking like one of the many guards streaming into the room.
BRENNAN: Yeah. Streaming into the room. Da da da. Okay, Filoneus is going to take attacks with disadvantage. He hits on a nine or higher and is going to make two attacks.
LIAM: Ugh.
MARISHA: Wow. Wow.
BRENNAN: Disadvantage.
LUIS: Disadvantage. Come on, please.
BRENNAN: Nine, that's a hit.
LUIS: (groans)
BRENNAN: 10, it's a hit.
LUIS: Damn.
TALIESIN: Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
LUIS: That's going to be ugly.
TALIESIN: Well, if we can--
LIAM: I have no control for Filoneus, and I wasn't going to take him down.
LUIS: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Yeah. I'm going to be very upset when I find out what's actually happening here.
MARISHA: To be fair, Murray knows. Murray knows.
TALIESIN: You're the only one who knows.
MARISHA: So even if he gets away, but it's going to be my word against literally everybody else's.
TALIESIN: We can work on that, but yeah.
BRENNAN: Hal, you interpose, Filoneus (hefts weapon) raises the axe, and there is a blast of wind and light and you are buffeted back by the pure divine presence. His tattoos of filament alight, radiate. He says, "In the name of the Holy Light, I lay low all enemies of the Creed!" (slamming) And beheads the assassin in front of you.
MARISHA: Oh! (gasps)
BRENNAN: The light fills the chamber. (illuminates) The guards rush in, Varen looking at the last of the assassins to die. Gus heaving and panting. And you see Filoneus says, "Is the king all right? Mother!" (illuminating) Light fills the chamber. Yanessa's body rises from the ground. "(gasps)" (whooshing) Light cascades into her chest.
MARISHA: Bullshit!
BRENNAN: Partygoers flood into the doors. All of the guests who have rushed to see the commotion--
MARISHA: What in the messiah shit is this?
TALIESIN: Oh, motherfucker.
BRENNAN: And they watch the resurrection of Yanessa Halovar.
MARISHA: Fuck off!
BRENNAN: That's the end of this episode--
MARISHA: Oh my god.
BRENNAN: -- of Critical Role.
TALIESIN: I'm so angry.
BRENNAN: (laughs)
LUIS: Oh man.
MARISHA: Fuck, oh god!
LUIS: But Gus lives.
BRENNAN: Gus lives!
MARISHA: Everyone just witnessed a miracle, and Murray's going to be like, "Uh-uh!"
BRENNAN: (laughs)
MARISHA: No one's going to believe her.
BRENNAN: Classic academic, everybody saw something and you know that's not what they saw.
MARISHA: Fuck!
LIAM: Huh.
BRENNAN: Well, folks!
TALIESIN: We got full knives down there.
BRENNAN: What a combat! And let me tell you, folks: Is it Thursday yet?
LIAM: Huh.
TALIESIN: I hate everything.
BRENNAN: (laughs)
Cooldown
BRENNAN: Why?! You guys owned that battle! You guys did it! You crushed! You saved King Gus!
LUIS: We did. We saved King Gus. That was very good.
BRENNAN: It was very good to save King Gus!
LUIS: I don't feel the satisfaction that I feel like I should feel.
TALIESIN: Nope. I'm not-- That was my--
MARISHA: That was crazy.
TALIESIN: That was my secondary desire, and my main desire to watch her bleed out did not happen. And I'm very upset about that.
LIAM: I like the idea that we have just witnessed a real assassination attempt, a fake assassination attempt, and we're just ending in--
LUIS: And fake resurrection.
LIAM: -- a jump up in the air freeze frame. (laughter)
LUIS: As light beams out of this woman.
MARISHA: Also, I'm just imagining the Photarch lying on the ground the whole time, pretending to be dead. Just being like--
BRENNAN: (laughs)
LUIS: Trying to control her breathing.
MARISHA: Yeah.
BRENNAN: "Do I do it now? Filoneus, it doesn't sound like it's going well." (laughter)
LUIS: Oh my gosh. Wow.
TALIESIN: I'm going to kill her.
LIAM: I should've kicked her in the jaw as I walked past.
LUIS: We will kill her--
LIAM: It's what I got.
LUIS: -- 10 more levels.
TALIESIN: I want to fucking kill her.
BRENNAN: I got to say guys, I know that right now, we're-- It's always tough whenever a battle happens that's propelling the plot forward.
TALIESIN: No, I love it. This is spectacular.
LUIS: This is my favorite. This is great.
BRENNAN: But--
LIAM: We're cooling down now, right?
BRENNAN: What's that?
MARISHA: We are cooling down.
BRENNAN: We're cooling down.
TALIESIN: This is all Cooldown, now.
LUIS: This is Cooldown.
BRENNAN: We all need to cool down. I need to tell you guys, you guys crushed that battle so fucking hard.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Think about without See Invisibility, without knowing that there was that wizard there.
LIAM: We wouldn't have known what the hell was going on.
BRENNAN: Think about, fucking Hal-- For me, the slickest move in D&D is have someone concentrating on a spell that's not in the combat. Like, have this Nama minister who's just doing the Dominate Person off in another room somewhere. So Hal, when you were like, "I'm staying out at the party," I was like: Goddamn, that's smart! I was like: That's so fucking smart.
MARISHA: Yep.
BRENNAN: The fact that there was a whole other invisible wing of the combat in the study is so sick. Dice tell the story. We had every possibility of getting that executioner, and the dice did what they did.
MARISHA: Uh-huh.
BRENNAN: But King Gus should be dead.
MARISHA: King Gus should be dead. It feels like he was going to go down.
LUIS: You--
TALIESIN: Oh, clearly, he was supposed to go down.
LUIS: -- killed it. You killed it.
TALIESIN: You are the reason why we're so much less fucked right now.
LUIS: Yes!
TALIESIN: Because of you on every conceivable level.
LIAM: You doing everything but an action for a few rounds were so cool.
MARISHA: I didn't do any fucking-- I didn't do anything. I still have all of my 1st-level spells.
LUIS: You did everything.
TALIESIN: You are the reason that we actually know who--
MARISHA: What's happening.
BRENNAN: We actually know what happened.
TALIESIN: We wouldn't know-- We would think that this was the rise of the gods again.
LUIS: You played it so smart.
MARISHA: Yeah. That's why--
TALIESIN: We'd be fucked.
MARISHA: We could theoretically, if we would've seen that, been like, "Oh shit, they did some sort of ritual and something happened."
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MARISHA: Although, I don't know. I don't know.
LUIS: Yeah. This is the first "resurrection."
TALIESIN: Why would we doubt it?
LUIS: The public resurrection.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
MARISHA: Oh, this-- Oh, fucking--
LUIS: People were there to witness it and be awed by it.
TALIESIN: And now we have someone to talk to about it with some actual fucking power.
MARISHA: You know, I thought I hated Tachonis the worst, but maybe it's Halovar.
BRENNAN: (laughs)
MARISHA: Maybe it's Halovar.
TALIESIN: I was literally just going to kill her because she didn't wear the mask. I was trying to get over there so I could just be like: You should just be more fucking considerate.
MARISHA: There's no way you could've fucking killed her.
TALIESIN: I could've.
MARISHA: There was no way.
TALIESIN: I could've.
BRENNAN: "I believe in myself."
TALIESIN: You would've been fine.
LUIS: If I'm to follow a family tree--
TALIESIN: I would've gone for it.
LUIS: This is her nephew. Filoneus is her nephew?
BRENNAN: Son.
LUIS: Oh, her son! Her son, yes. But he's then on the same sort of level in terms of lineage-ish generation as Amariya Cormoray-- Amariya?
TALIESIN: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LUIS: -- and Harondus Einfasen because she's a niece, he's a nephew. It's their--
BRENNAN: Second generation. Yeah.
LUIS: Yeah, the generation above them that's in control.
MARISHA: CR 15 or something.
BRENNAN: Yanessa, Primus, and Otto are the true heads of the Houses, right.
LUIS: We don't know the head of Cormoray yet. We haven't met them.
BRENNAN: You haven't met the head of Cormoray yet.
TALIESIN: This was back when I thought that she was actually supposed to go down, too. So I was of the opinion that I could just hop in there and just help finish it rather than it was never going to happen.
BRENNAN: As much of a mess as this is, right, because you guys got all this treasure that you can't confirm publicly. You know what I mean? Spellcaster got away, Nama minister got-- There were people that started escaping. But it's the fact that you, that portent, that fucking portent! Marisha!
MARISHA: Murray's going to be full Cassandra trying to warn people of the-- She is the one who sees and knows.
BRENNAN: Imagine if you had witnessed Yanessa's resurrection without that information. I had no intention of giving you that information in this fight.
TALIESIN: Fuck no. Clearly!
LIAM: We would've thought they found the secret back of some word of power.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: And had a leg up.
BRENNAN: And had a leg up. Right? Like, oh my god, she can defy death. The fact--
LIAM: Instead, we know they're the hucksters they are.
BRENNAN: The fact that you-- They're hucksters, yeah. We saw it with Yanessa in the beginning. She's like, we got an angel chained in the basement. We got a blood factory, that's what we're up to.
LUIS: None of us know that.
BRENNAN: None of you know that! But it's the fact that you got a piece of information out of me that I had zero intention of giving in this fight. That was crazy.
LUIS: That was crazy.
BRENNAN: That was so fucking cool. And speaking of people who got away, the Nama minister, the other spellcaster who was in here, and Mayali.
LUIS: (groans) Jesus.
MARISHA: Bro!
LUIS: Yeah.
MARISHA: Can we talk about this for a second?
TALIESIN: What? What?
LIAM: Yeah.
MARISHA: What?
LIAM: I thought someone was getting piloted again by an unseen. I didn't understand until--
LUIS: That she seemed to be completely in control. I mean, in a way. She was not being mind controlled, but there's more ways to control people.
LIAM: Absolutely.
MARISHA: Because I keep getting--
BRENNAN: The last time you saw Mayali, you were both kids. She was in the Gallow's Choir. She was a mercenary.
LUIS: Yeah. Well, she-- I got pulled into, because I wasn't as good as her, the mercenary company that took us left me behind and went forward with her. And that's when Thjazi found me because I think he took pity on me and he took me in and she went on to be a part of so many other things that I never, never knew. I thought she might be dead, I thought. What a reunion.
LIAM: She came in with the Argosians, right?
LUIS: Yes. She was the one that fired the crossbow bolt that hit the Photarch.
MARISHA: So she's got to be with the Photarch.
TALIESIN: Oh yeah.
LIAM: Yeah.
MARISHA: She's got to be doing stuff with Halovar.
LUIS: Yes.
MARISHA: But she's not Argonian.
LUIS: She's not originally Argosian.
LIAM: Argosian.
MARISHA: Argosian.
LIAM: But she, her mercenary company could have been recruited by them.
LIAM: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
TALIESIN: Yeah, or--
LUIS: I mean, I'm not from Dol-Makjar.
MARISHA: Sure.
LIAM: Yeah. Argosia's a whole other--
MARISHA: Whole other thing.
LIAM: -- whole other faction besides the Candescent Creed and the Photarch. So there's an alliance going on of some kind.
TALIESIN: There also could be true believers in outfits. It's just an outfit.
LIAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
TALIESIN: This might all be theater.
LUIS: This is very clever.
LIAM: Do you think we're-- We're not going to pick up at this? Are we picking it up right here?
BRENNAN: I think we're going to pick it up right here. I think when we do our, when we converge all together, I think this is where we're going to pick up.
LUIS: This is where we pick up.
LIAM: Dang.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: Dang.
BRENNAN: I think we have to, right? I mean, there's just so much, you got to deal with this moment. But I need to point out the complexity of this. An invisible spellcaster with a potion of invisibility that didn't maintain concentration having Telekinesis on the doors to keep them shut. And then a druid who has a Dominate Person on him to do a fake a poison screening, right, so that Gus starts the combat poisoned with a crazy powerful poison. He could basically only crawl five feet around and do object interactions.
LUIS: Yeah. Pretty debilitating.
MARISHA: 70 damage from two of those poison hits?
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LIAM: That was gnarly.
BRENNAN: But everything. How you guys opened up the doorway to get in there, how you like-- And the See Invisibilities! The See Invisibilities, and Bolaire dropping the concentration on the wizard, just choice after choice.
LIAM: And without that Shield glyph on Gus.
MARISHA: That Shield glyph.
LIAM: He would've gone to death saves for sure.
LUIS: No, man. You--
BRENNAN: Yeah.
LUIS: What the fuck?
MARISHA: (laughs)
LUIS: Like, damn!
MARISHA: Murray, the whole time invisible being like-- (dodging)
LUIS: But do you know how hard it is to do that? Like, you're doing what is so-- That to me is a masterclass of patience and thinking out of the box and also like--
TALIESIN: Control play in this game.
LUIS: Yes! Because you're--
TALIESIN: This is all control play.
LUIS: -- doing a thing that on paper is so unsexy, but when you pull it off, it is game changing!
TALIESIN: It is. I always find it's its own, it's so hot.
LUIS: I'm so happy. (laughter)
MARISHA: Proud papa!
LUIS: Yah! Oh!
MARISHA: Murray's getting that health potion back, though. He fucking hid it under the table. I want it back.
BRENNAN: This is, I just want to say, a very dynamic battle too, but also to point out, think of just if you take anything out of this, like Murray's not in the room. Murray's doesn't invisibly follow them. Or you or one of you is back at-- That fact that it's very cool to see--
LUIS: A set up.
BRENNAN: One of the things when I was designing this that I really wanted it to be was if our PCs are not here, this is a foregone conclusion.
LUIS: Yes.
BRENNAN: Assassins don't gamble. You know, they have six of these extremely high hit point, loaded up with poison and the dog scent bombs and things like that to come in and immobilize and destabilize everything. They had two spellcasters, six assassins. You know, all this crazy shit going on.
LIAM: They just weren't counting on an invisible bursar, a sentient mask, and a guardsman right out of "The Departed" being in the room. (laughter)
TALIESIN: The more moving parts, the more it just takes one bird in the engine to crash the fucking plane.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Yeah. That's the trouble with plans.
MARISHA: One magpie in the engine.
TALIESIN: One magpie in the engine.
BRENNAN: One magpie in the engine.
LIAM: That's why I never make a plan.
BRENNAN: But there's also a lot of-- I think there's also a lot of, how would you put it? A lot of wins here. Gus survives.
LUIS: Yeah.
MARISHA: He's going to be a good ally.
BRENNAN: Gus survives.
LUIS: Yes. Well, we need to-- Yeah. Work him.
TALIESIN: We know the truth.
BRENNAN: You know the truth.
LUIS: We know the truth.
BRENNAN: You don't have the means of proving truth, but you know the truth.
MARISHA: No means of proving it.
TALIESIN: That's half of it.
LIAM: Gus will almost definitely believe us because we saved his life.
TALIESIN: We lost none of our people.
BRENNAN: Lost none of your people, right. Which is great.
LUIS: I'm going to make a note.
BRENNAN: It seems, that there is an acolyte of the Creed who has died and it seems that there is a-- And then one of King Gus' knights fell. But you didn't lose either of the Hounds of the King. It was really gnarly.
TALIESIN: Did all the dogs survive?
BRENNAN: All the dogs survived.
TALIESIN: That's the biggest thing.
MARISHA: That's all that matters.
LUIS: Oh good, yeah, because they didn't coup de grâce any of them.
TALIESIN: They're good dogs.
BRENNAN: They're good dogs. They're good doggies.
LUIS: They focused on Gus.
BRENNAN: And I think, man, there were so many-- Keeping that executioner out of combat for all those rounds. Just holding him down for round after round after round.
TALIESIN: That was just pure sadism. I was just really enjoying it.
BRENNAN: But again, if he had joined the fray over with Gus, like--
TALIESIN: That would've been--
BRENNAN: Think about all six-- Think of them not having to hold the doorway if all six charged the room. Don't have to leave two behind them, right? Like--
LUIS: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Oh, that's true.
BRENNAN: You know, they had to leave two to hold off Bolaire and Azune. That's Gus dead in one round, right?
LUIS: Oh, right.
TALIESIN: Oh! I hadn't even thought of that.
LUIS: Yeah, because they formed a wall for us.
BRENNAN: Denial of opportunity is as significant as like-- You know what I mean? What you deny your enemy the ability to do is just as significant. Right?
MARISHA: Sure.
BRENNAN: Keeping that guy off the board and him attacking Azune is how we-- And also him attacking Azune is how Mayali didn't spend her turn attacking King Gus. She spent it saving Azune.
LUIS: Oh god.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Seven hit points.
LUIS: That's crazy.
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
MARISHA: (groans)
TALIESIN: (groans)
MARISHA: Well, we got a lot of work to do next game. (laughter)
TALIESIN: I am not cleaning this up.
BRENNAN: I know. (laughter)
MARISHA: It is early in the afternoon and I need a drink.
BRENNAN: This is the schemiest Schemer fight.
MARISHA: This is the schemiest Schemer fight we have ever schemed.
BRENNAN: Yes, I love it.
LUIS: I've been really enjoying playing half-fighter.
MARISHA: This whole episode was a fight.
TALIESIN: I'm also going to say I was at work the entire time. (laughter)
TALIESIN: I did not leave the office the entire time. There was no Zooming. There was no work from home. I was there, clocked in.
BRENNAN: Come join us next week as we begin our Convergence. Can I say?
MARISHA: Yeah, why not? Yeah.
LUIS: We'll see how everyone else complicates things.
BRENNAN: We're getting the band back together, folks. We'll see you next week.
LIAM: Is it Converge-day yet?
BRENNAN: Is it Converge-day yet?