Pre-Show
MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.
ALL: (enthusiastically garbled) We play Dungeons & Dragons!
MATT: We are now back in the Bells Hells' perspective of campaign three after that wonderful communally experienced interlude in the history of Aeor. We'll jump into that shortly, but before we jump into that, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with our sponsor for tonight, "Tales of Fablecraft." Sam--
TRAVIS: (ghostly whispers) Tales of Fablecraft!
MATT: -- why, why are you dressed like me?
SAM: Because I'm GMing a tabletop game soon, and I want to be as good as Critical Role and the only way to do that is to be you. So that's what I did.
LAURA: Wow.
SAM: I've been researching lore, maps, (laughs) rules. (laughter)
SAM: Making fleshed out NPCs with distinct voices. Here, watch. You go ahead and enter a toothy cavern, making your way to a stone platform with a "siggle" carved with runes inlaid with purple gems where 800 years ago the great Chaosium occurred between the Megachuds, which was 400 years after the Planar Stinking--
ASHLEY: Tight.
SAM: -- two centuries before the Grand Invagination.
ASHLEY: Whoa! (laughter)
SAM: And a thousand years after The Finger-Smashing.
ASHLEY: Oh shit! (laughter)
SAM: The air is sweet with iron and dead leaves. This is the dreamhole of Magina Taintus, the Peenkeeper. (laughter)
LAURA: Wow!
TALIESIN: Good. Good.
ASHLEY: I want to play this game! (laughter)
MATT: No. (laughter)
MATT: Your lore is actually kind of good--
SAM: Yep.
MATT: -- more than I was expecting. But you absolutely do not need me to run a TTRPG. Like, just play the "Tales of Fablecraft," the TTRPG for first timers and veterans alike.
SAM: Wait, what? But I spent weeks preparing, studying your mannerisms, mimicking your vocabulary, becoming you.
MATT: Yeah, it's terrifying. But seriously, it's all literally right here in the game. I played it myself. Like, it's easy enough, you can go ahead and see. Like, I can go over here and I can switch a scene just as easy from Watertown Top, drag it over, now it's a nighttime perspective--
ALL: Whoa!
MATT: -- of Watertown Top in the distance. It's a new tabletop RPG platform. It's its own digital platform, has everything from lore, adventures, artwork, music, dice. It's all baked right in, it's very easy to use. You can even meet with your group over a video chat, and you should see the interactive battle maps in this too. They're actually really creative and a fun way to kill your friends, which is the unique space that I get to enjoy week to week. But sessions in this game last around 90 minutes. All the prep has already been done for you as part of the entire Fablecraft experience. And it's free.
SAM: It's free?
MATT: Yeah. So please just take off the wig, wipe off the fake tattoos, and check out "Tales of Fablecraft" instead.
SAM: I forgot to put them on. (laughter)
MATT: Damn, that's so quick.
SAM: This isn't a wig, Matt. I flew to Turkey, and paid $8,000--
ASHLEY: Why?
SAM: -- for an emu hair transplant. And I had your fingerprints laser etched to mine.
ASHLEY: Cool.
MATT: Why did you do that?
SAM: For immersion. To run the best game I adopted your entire personality. Here, look at my driver's license.
ASHLEY: Whoa.
MATT: What the hell?
LAURA: (laughs)
MATT: (laughs) It says Matthew Mercer.
SAM: Yeah, I had my name legally changed for the wedding.
MATT: Wedding?
MARISHA: Um. (laughter) (laughter)
MARISHA: Um, yeah, last week we had a small ceremony. I mean, it was really nice. And we got married. He said, you were cool with it.
MATT: Well, I'm not. Guys, what the fuck? Can you believe this shit?
TRAVIS: I mean, yeah, we were all there, it was a really nice ceremony.
MARISHA: It was really nice.
TRAVIS: Taliesin officiated.
TALIESIN: He said you were cool with it.
MATT: You're not me, Sam, you're not!
SAM: I mean, in the eyes of the law I am. And please, call me Matt. And look, my dog is here. (laughter)
SAM: Shit.
ASHLEY: Where is he? (laughter)
TRAVIS: Omar, you know, don't-- Be less submissive.
LAURA: Omar!
SAM: It's my dog. Do nothing if it's really-- Your--
TRAVIS: Dad?
SAM: -- your dad. (laughter)
SAM: See, it's me! (cackles)
ASHLEY: Wow!
SAM: Do nothing if you love me more.
TRAVIS: That dog is part seal.
SAM: See? (laughter)
SAM: If I'm your dad--
LAURA: He's asleep.
ASHLEY: Sound asleep.
SAM: -- lie limp! See? (laughter)
ROBBIE: Oh!
LIAM:: Did you give that dog some edibles before this bit? (laughter)
MATT: Okay.
ASHLEY: Good boy.
SAM: Now, finish the ad for me, will ya?
MATT: With fun combat, free content, and gorgeous artwork from Linda Lithén, Robson Michel, and Kent Davis, "Tales of Fablecraft" is the easiest TTRPG there is. You can download it on Steam today or visit bit. ly/Fablecraft. Matt, back to you?
SAM: Thanks, Matt. Laura, I think you have some merch?
TRAVIS: (groans) (laughter)
MATT: I hate this.
LAURA: Actually, I'll let Marisha talk first. I'm not ready.
MARISHA: I'm crying from--
TRAVIS: Congratulations, by the way.
MARISHA: Thank you, I'm still emotional about it.
MATT: My weekends just freed up. (laughs) (laughter)
MARISHA: What? No. On the heels of Downfall.
TRAVIS: Oh, Downfall!
MARISHA: The incredible vision that we all had in Aeor during the Calamity. We had a very special "4-Sided Dive" with Brennan, Ashley, Taliesin, and Laura.
ASHLEY: Woo!
MATT: Yeah.
MARISHA: So you can check that out now, we discussed all things Downfall And over in the Midst cosmos. Midst cos-moss next Wednesday is the premiere of "Moonward," a four-part role playing story in which Midst creators, along with myself and Liam O'Brien.
TRAVIS: (air horn blasts)
LIAM: That's right, we did that.
MARISHA: We did that! We explore a standalone improvisational adventure all in the Midst cosmos. It's weird. It's really cool. Go check it out. Enjoy episode one on August 7th on YouTube, Twitch, Beacon and our brand new Midst YouTube channel at youtube.com/MidstPodcast. Of course, if you're a Beacon member or a Fold member, you'll get the second episode that same day as well. So for all you binge watchers, it's pretty great. But yeah, it's awesome. Xen killed it.
LIAM: Yeah, check it out, it's one of a kind.
MARISHA: Yeah.
ASHLEY: So good.
SAM: Wife?
MARISHA: Yes, hubby?
SAM: What do I do with the dog? (laughs) Ah!
MARISHA: You can-- (laughter)
MARISHA: You provide for him and you love him.
SAM: Okay.
MARISHA: You keep, I mean, it seems very fine to me.
ASHLEY: This is great.
LAURA: It's so much.
ASHLEY: But I love that the address is 1234 Nowhere Street.
LAURA: Oh, you're just tuning out?
ASHLEY: Nunya.
MATT: No, no, I'm texting Q, I'm seeing what she's up to. (laughter)
TRAVIS: Wife swap.
MARISHA: Wife swap! (laughter)
LIAM: New on Beacon.
MATT: Yeah! (laughter)
ASHLEY: I actually really liked that show back in the day.
MATT: Laura, you want to take it away? (laughs)
LAURA: Hey, what's up, you guys, guess what? All of our Critical Role shops have free shipping going on right now. It's a great deal, it's a great time to get in on the apparel, the dice, the games, and more that we released-- I'm reading-- in Critical Role shops recently or snag some of our items that recently came back in stock. Like the Mollymauk Tealeaf camp shirt. The Critical Role pullover hoodie! Molly and Jester Oracle Deck!
ASHLEY: Ooh!
LAURA: Also, you know I love a deal. Don't forget about your 10% merch discount, Beacon members, and then you can stack it, so it's a great chance to, you know, save even more money.
ASHLEY: Ooh!
MARISHA: It's true.
LAURA: Sales. Also, we joined up with Heroes and Villains to create an amazing new Vox Machina apparel collection. I'm just going to hold up one of the things. Dude, they're so pretty! The collection has hoodies, tees, it's so soft, a retro beanie, a hoodie dress and more.
SAM: A hoodie dress?
LAURA: I know. We have a hoodie dress too, a Vex one, I don't know if you remember, but it's super cool.
SAM: I wear it a lot.
LAURA: Designed by Greg Holkin and Heather Lampe. I love it. Grab the full collection online at HeroesandVillains.com.
MARISHA: Landed that plane, yes, you did.
LAURA: Thank you.
MATT: Yeah!
ASHLEY: You have a Dave Grohl haircut.
MARISHA: I know!
LAURA: Or Jennifer Aniston. Jennifer Aniston.
ASHLEY: Jennifer Aniston's first--
MATT: It does very much have a Rachel vibe.
MARISHA: Like bad Dave Grohl or bad Keanu Reeves. (mms of approval)
TRAVIS: I think good Keanu Reeves.
LIAM: Bad David Spade. (laughter)
TALIESIN: There we are, there we are.
LAURA: Old Joe Dirt.
TALIESIN: That's David Spade.
MATT: It's very like, oh man, I forgot the artist's name. Never mind, that was bad, let's finish up. (laughter)
LIAM: This guy has a great conspiracies podcast. (laughter)
TALIESIN: Send that over this way, we haven't seen it.
ASHLEY: Oh gosh.
MATT: Keith Urban, that's who I was thinking of.
MARISHA: Oh, yeah.
LAURA: Oh, yeah.
MATT: But freshly dark dyed Keith Urban.
TRAVIS: Or Nicole Kidman, you know.
MATT: That works.
ASHLEY: Keith Urban has a little bit of Christian pastor, young youth pastor a little bit.
LAURA: That's what it feels like, you feel like a--
ROBBIE: Keith Suburban.
LAURA: Yeah. (laughter)
MATT: All right, well, I think that concludes our announcements. So let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role.
♪ Critical ♪
♪ Critical ♪
♪ It's Thursday ♪
♪ It's Thursday night! ♪
ASHLEY: ♪ One-by-one, we climb until we reach the top. ♪
♪ Two-by-two, we fall. ♪
LAURA: ♪ Will we meet our end or meet our destiny? ♪
♪ Hold your breath and roll! ♪
MATT: How do you want to do this?
ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪
♪ All ye Critters, come join us ♪
♪ It's time to continue our plight ♪
♪ There is magic and mystery ♪
♪ Who knows what will happen? ♪
♪ He might! ♪
♪ But one thing's for sure, ♪
♪ We never give up on the fight! ♪
LIAM: ♪ From the healer ♪
♪ To the renegade ♪
MATT: ♪ We all share the same goal ♪
MATT and TALIESIN: ♪ Adding more allies ♪
♪ Taking more chances ♪
SAM: ♪ Hold your breath and roll ♪
MARISHA: You can certainly try.
ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪
♪ All ye Critters, come join us ♪
♪ It's time to continue our plight ♪
♪ It's Thursday night. ♪
♪ There is magic and mystery ♪
♪ From darkness, our friendship will rise ♪
♪ But one thing's for sure: ♪
♪ We never give up on the fight ♪
♪ Oh, get ready, ♪
♪ Get ready, ♪
♪ It's Thursday night! ♪
(flames whooshing)
Part I
MATT: And welcome back. So, last we left off, Bells Hells, following the path of Ludinus and the Ruby Vanguard into the ruins of Aeor, accompanied by Essek Thelyss, somebody who had been there a handful of times. (burps) Pardon me. (laughs) Timing is everything. Bleh! (laughter) You delved below and discovered the darkness that had taken the Vanguard and Ludinus' interests in the ruins, Dominox, a grand demon from lore long ago. You had gone through and suffered terrible visions from this demon in proximity of the engine that he still is clung to, the Soul Anchor holding him present. You ran into and met a new figure, Braius, a minotaur revealed to have been and is a worshiper of the Lord of Hells. Speaking of Hells, also summoned Teven, a devilish entity that has been bound with Fearne.
TRAVIS: You played so many characters, it's great, man.
MATT: Yeah. You know, I made my bed. (laughs) (laughter)
MATT: But after getting into battle with Dominox and Ludinus coming in at the last minute to essentially help you defeat this entity and claiming no aggression or animus towards you, you stopped, after defeating Dominox and he invited you to join him in the chamber beyond, one of the goals of his excursion. Here in this domed, cracked, partially ruined chamber, you see amongst the rising stairs and statues of Aeorian mages of old a central dome-like dais that Ludinus pulls from it a sphere of light blue arcane ribbons, a information keeping device of some kind. He tells you this is the Occultus Thalamus, and it is indeed a record-keeping device. What he's found with it, with the time that he spent with it, is of utmost importance to Exandria. He invited you to look into this. As he activated it, a white light filled your vision and you all experienced within this record, viscerally, as if you were there and amongst them, the tale of these gods, pantheon members of Exandria, who during the height of the Calamity had called a truce because the last great floating city had developed technology that could abjure the gods themselves. Scared and uncertain, they reincarnated as mortals and infiltrated the city. Seeking information, they discovered the existence of a device, the Factorum Malleus, that could, in theory, destroy the gods themselves. In this information seeking infiltration mission, they found conflict. They found allyship. They found means to question everything about their presence there and what it is they are doing here on this world. When push came to shove, they all still came to agreement. The city had to die, and the information with it. So you experienced from the beginning of the arrival of these beings stepping into Aeor to the final destruction of the city of Aeor as it crashed into Eiselcross. That is what you are aware of through this vision. The prologue and the epilogue are more just for our fun narrative aspect of it as the audience and players. But that is what you have experienced as Bells Hells. Here, as these fragments of information and moments and people and faces and screams and energy whoosh by, (staticky whooshing) eventually the light fades. Here you all stand once more in this cracked and ruined and long forgotten chamber that house the Occultus Thalamus.
There, as you all take a breath, feeling yourselves back in your bodies, feeling the sensation of your own flesh and touch and the buzzing of energy of the strange, alien, wildly altered magic of these ruins around you, Ludinus still stands holding this orb, smiling and holding it to his chest. "Fractured as it may be, the Thalamus gifts us with an unintended boon, a record of divinity's true face, the face I've always known. They wade in their narcissistic fantasy and push forth decrees for mortal lives. Contradictory among their kin, an endless tapestry of guesses and punishments, harvesting their faith through reverence and fear, ultimately to redirect the natural flow of the soul to their realms and feed from them. And here, here you know what I know is true. The living soul of Exandria, borrowed and reshaped to create us as the seeds to their eternal garden of exploitation. We are chained to a cycle of their making against the natural order of life between these realms. The Eidolons, the natural spirits of the land, they existed before the gods even arrived and will exist long after they are gone. They are the primordial spiritual life we once were, stolen and industrialized to sustain their self obsessed tyranny. They funnel the very essence of the world away from it, a sentence of entropy for Exandria in ages to come. What they did not account for was the strength of our spirit, the drive of our ambition, the desire to learn and grow, make and unmake and make again, to challenge the mysteries of the universe with the brief time we have. In their arrogance, they made something more perfect than them: Us."
LAURA: (laughs)
MATT: "In the Age of Arcanum, our enlightenment was a revolution, an age where philosophy, art, and the promise of understanding were our purpose. It was their presence, their thrones, their meddling that brought ruin upon our potential. We deserve to inherit the future, and they would not dare step aside and let us be greater than they."
LAURA: Were we watching the same orb? Just making sure.
MATT: "I understand it may take some time to truly, to truly absorb what they are. What did you see? What do you see them as? What did you experience through this vision?"
LAURA: I saw them as uncertain, surprisingly changeable. Flawed for sure, but so are we.
MATT: "You are not wrong. The difference is, we don't lord ourselves over everyone else and wipe them clean the minute we have a second thought."
LIAM: I mean, I know how old you are, so you are probably well read in history. You know that is not true.
MATT: "(laughs)"
MARISHA: It's quite ironic coming from the man who's caused quite a bit of destruction with murderous intent.
MATT: "Murderous, no. I don't disagree that it is. There have been many unfortunate necessities on this path, but don't think there weren't points in which a choice was given. If you knew the absolute cruelty and ignorance of the majority of people that hold positions of political power in this world throughout history, you will understand that sometimes those of us of righteous mind have to do what's necessary for the good of all."
LAURA: (laughs) You're no better than what you're fighting.
MARISHA: She's got a point.
LAURA: I feel like I heard one of them make that exact same statement.
MARISHA: You're talking about how they lord over us and you just said the same thing. You just rambled on about how we make, unmake, and then we'll make again. So--
MATT: "We do."
MARISHA: I guess my ultimate question is what do you plan to make after this, after you unmake?
MATT: "I have no aspirations for leadership, lordship, decreeing of laws or ruling."
LIAM: Insight check.
LAURA: Yeah.
MARISHA: (laughs)
LIAM: That's real low.
LAURA: Can I roll too?
MATT: Sure.
LAURA: I don't know what I'm doing.
LAURA: 19.
MATT: 19.
LAURA: Ooh!
ROBBIE: Ooh.
SAM: Oh, whispers.
ASHLEY: Whispers!
ROBBIE: Shwhispers.
ASHLEY: Damn!
SAM: I don't have anything to say.
LAURA: Ooh, Ludinus whispers.
ROBBIE: ♪ (jaunty tune) ♪
MARISHA: Luda-whisp Da'leth.
SAM: Check out those heroes and villains stuff at the shop. It's really good. High quality, well designed.
TRAVIS: I got the letterman jacket. It's dope.
SAM: Yeah. It's real good.
MARISHA: I love the sporty throwback stuff. It's great.
MATT: "I've lived long enough, as you say, to have watched kingdoms rise and fall, to see fools crowned. But those are our messes to make. We learn from them. We live, we die, and we teach."
TALIESIN: We die.
MATT: "I am talking."
SAM: Ooh.
ROBBIE: (laughs)
MARISHA: Oh!
TALIESIN: Careful, I'm one of the people sitting here who probably agrees with you the most.
LAURA: (laughs)
MATT: "We have lived under their shackled intent for so very long, being told that they are everything to us, that they are our protectors, that they guide us, that they grant us all that is important in this world and all they need in return is our prayer. But they've killed endless, endless life. They've burned and scalded the length and breadth of this land multiple times and wiped it from history when it was inconvenient. And when they couldn't, they just tweaked the tones a bit. All that I'm saying, as I wish to be entirely clear, I do not see myself as better than them, but I do not hold the sway and power they do. When they're gone and we inherit this world, it will be ours."
LIAM: I'm going to change the subject for a moment, and I'm probably one of the people who agrees with you the least in this room. You want to release a god eater?
MATT: "Mm."
LIAM: What the fuck does that mean, man?
TRAVIS: (laughs)
LIAM: What guarantees are there that you're not about to unleash holy hell on the face of this world?
MATT: "Next time you wish to step on the surface of our great Moon of Ill Omen, I invite you to speak with it. A bit of communion with Predathos I think would help clarify your worries."
ASHLEY: How do you know Predathos would just stop at the gods?
MATT: "The natural order of nature. Our divine spirits were crafted from the divinity of this world, but what they are is something entirely alien. They are not of Exandria, nor is Predathos. Our souls are not its sustenance. Our elements are not its continued life. We are outside of its circle and it only wishes to feast upon what it naturally devours."
LAURA: The gods created us, right?
MATT: "The gods formed us, yes."
LAURA: So we are part of them.
MATT: "Not as much as you'd like to think."
LAURA: I feel like Predathos would eat them and lick up the crumbs.
MATT: "The shark does not bother itself with the krill."
TRAVIS: But the blue whale does. (snaps)
MARISHA: That was quick, Chetney. It was very quick.
TRAVIS: Biggest creature in sea.
MARISHA: Mm-hmm.
ASHLEY: The blue whale?
LAURA: You speak of communing--
LIAM: I think it's dragon turtles, actually.
LAURA: -- with Predathos.
MATT: "Mm-hmm."
LAURA: You're not part of it though, are you?
MATT: "I don't need to be part of it."
LAURA: But you want to be, don't you?
MATT: "I'm--"
LAURA: You can commune all you want and you'll never feel what I felt, will you? Insight check.
SAM: (laughs)
MATT: Make an insight check.
MARISHA: Did you just make Ludinus cry?
TRAVIS: You made him think.
LAURA: Oh no! Natural one, motherfucker!
ASHLEY: Oh damn!
MARISHA: No!
ROBBIE: No! Oh!
LIAM: Betrayed by the dice.
LAURA: Oh, fuck you. Go away.
TRAVIS: His Blue Steel is strong.
MATT: You see a smile creep across his face.
LAURA: Oh.
MATT: "I have no aspirations of anything beyond freeing us from what has held us down for all of history."
TALIESIN: Would you die for it?
MATT: "A thousand times over and I may yet still."
ASHLEY: May I ask, why do you hate them so much that you've devoted your life to figuring out how to kill them, basically? Why are you so mad?
MATT: "Because these myths, these visions, they're what I grew up with. I lived an entire human lifetime in the ashes of the world they burned and then left behind. I watched as those that remained were told stay faithful, because they love you, because they'll guide you. Some of these societies rebuild in their name, in their honor, and then continue to wage a cycle of holy war upon each other in their name, even without their feet on this soil. Because their presence throughout all of history has led to ruin, and everything that's beautiful has been from us. I am tired, so endlessly tired of us as a society living under this illusion that we're better for it."
LIAM: You sound so much like one of those gods. One in particular.
SAM: Do I get the sense that he has another reason that he's not sharing with us?
MATT: Make an insight check.
SAM: Okay.
ASHLEY: Come on.
LAURA: Come on, Braius.
SAM: Well that's terrible.
ASHLEY: First roll.
SAM: That's right, bad.
ASHLEY: We all saw it. (laughter)
ASHLEY: We did a live show.
SAM: Eight.
MATT: Eight. He's tough to read, but he seems forthright.
TALIESIN: To translate from absolute piece of shit, he's mad because they're all betrayer gods, all of them.
LAURA: Not all of them.
TALIESIN: All of them.
SAM: Not all of them, no.
LAURA: I saw the Everlight.
TALIESIN: Yeah. Just to put this out there, what do you think is going to happen to us when we leave this place?
TRAVIS: Aeor or you mean like life?
TALIESIN: Both. Which, if I were one of them, I would want us to never get the fuck out of here. We are now a threat. We are now a leak in this fucking story. When we step out of this place, if they have a hint of what we know, the Everlight would murder us all, or let slip to somebody who wouldn't mind.
MATT: "If it helps, you are only the first who will see this vision."
MARISHA: We're not the first, is that what he said?
MATT: "You are just the first."
LAURA: Just the first.
MARISHA: Oh, it's who you plan.
LAURA: It's going around.
MARISHA: You plan on taking this little gadget.
MATT: "When everyone in this world has seen what you've seen, they'll be able to make their own choices from a more informed position."
MARISHA: You know that will only seed war and discourse amongst all of us, you knew that right?
MATT: "There is war and discourse amongst all of us already."
MARISHA: Correct.
MATT: "This will galvanize the true position."
MARISHA: I'm so confused by your position sometimes, because you act like there's so much war over these gods, but yet you're about to incite it over the gods.
LIAM: The gods have been gone for centuries, they will be back instantly if you seed that information in the world, instantly. And how many more will die? You sound just like Father Milo, so wrong, so vain, so important.
SAM: I would have to object.
LIAM: That's fine.
LAURA and MARISHA: (laughs)
SAM: Father Milo did not say anything that wasn't absolutely true.
ASHLEY: That is not what I saw.
SAM: He had a perspective and a goal and he laid it out very clearly. He wanted to get his family back and assume power. He did not set out to kill a city, to destroy a city. He wanted to get back with his family. The others prevented him. He gave them a choice to sit down at a table and they said, "No, we'd rather kill a city."
MARISHA: I kind of agree with Braius.
ASHLEY: Yeah, but then he took off and he left them.
SAM: They banished him. The one with the glowy head said, "Be gone."
ASHLEY: I don't even know who you're talking about.
LAURA: I think the glowy head, that's the Dawnfather, Fearne.
SAM: You've given us a choice between mortals and the Primes, but there is a third choice. There is another set of gods who hasn't done any of the things you're talking about.
MATT: "If you're referring to your Lord--" as he looks onto your breastplate and the symbol,
SAM: That doesn't mean anything. (laughter)
MATT: "-- There are few among their family that hate us more than any other for the reasons you cite."
ASHLEY: Wait, who are you talking about? What's your third option? What do you mean?
MARISHA: The Betrayers.
LAURA: Bring the Betrayers back.
TRAVIS: The Lord of Hells. Ruiner.
MARISHA: But to echo--
LIAM: The Ruiner, great group.
LAURA: Yeah, great group.
SAM: Those are just names.
TRAVIS: Monikers.
SAM: Exactly. I mean, you said it yourself, you said it yourself, if the gods found out that we knew this knowledge, they would come down and smite us, right? I've known this for years. I've known that the Primes are assholes. They betrayed me and I found someone who won't.
TRAVIS: They betrayed you?
SAM: Yes.
ASHLEY: Huh.
TRAVIS: Would you share?
SAM: Today's not about me, all right? (laughter)
TRAVIS: Oh. Whatever's clever.
SAM: I'm just saying that me and that Cassida person are the same.
MATT: "From what you've seen today, do you believe if the children of the gods, those they crafted, and raised, and shaped in love and light to shepherd and push forward in the greatness of their image, were just merely shone a window into their darkest hour, and your immediate reaction is to think they would come and smite us all. Does that not give you pause about who they are?"
TALIESIN: This is honestly confirmation of everything I've ever fucking thought about. This changes nothing for my life.
TRAVIS: Can I ask a personal question? Just because I feel like this is, I mean a moment. You're a hard person to reach. I had to turn into a wolf and jump on you like a fucking koala backpack just to get this close.
MARISHA: That was good, yes.
TRAVIS: It was good.
MATT: "That was you, wasn't it?"
TRAVIS: Yeah, but you impaled me afterwards, so fuck you a little for that, but--
MATT: "I got carried away."
MARISHA: You also broke our skyship, which kind of sucked.
MATT: "No, you threw your skyship at me and I defended myself."
TRAVIS: We did, we did, we did.
MARISHA: We did do that, we did do that.
LIAM: You called a hit on my family, a successful one, fuck you. Fuck you.
SAM: I agree with that, fuck you.
TALIESIN: Another thing we all agree with, that's fair.
MARISHA: Wait, Chetney, ask your question.
TRAVIS: The personal questions?
MARISHA: Yes.
TRAVIS: Can I ask how you have been alive for roughly 800, 900 years? I'm pretty old, but it pales in comparison to what you've been able to do. You said your human lives, are you mortal?
MATT: "I am mortal, though I stretch the length of my end years for this purpose, yes."
TALIESIN: Where were you when this happened? Not an accusation, I just want to know.
MATT: "I was a child. I watched the burning streak of the city through the sky, and grew up in a smoky ruin that sat below."
MARISHA: Have you ever tried therapy?
MATT: "I've tried many things, my dear."
MARISHA: It's just such a long time to hold onto childhood trauma.
TRAVIS: While he's talking, Hunter's Bane. Am I picking up anything fey, fiend, or undead from Ludinus?
MATT: From Ludinus? No, not at all.
MARISHA: You know what I saw? A weird fucked up family, kind of like us. I would do anything to protect any one of you at the expense of others. I have, I have killed for you all, we all have.
TALIESIN: Which is precisely why we are just like them. Which is not why they should exist, it's honestly why nothing like that should exist. It's not about who's on the fucking throne, it's about the throne.
LIAM: Who has it?
TALIESIN: It shouldn't exist, it should be broken.
TRAVIS: What happened to Molaesmyr?
MATT: Gives you a keen side glance.
TRAVIS: Yeah, that's right, I said I was old, bitch.
MATT: "Molaesmyr was the first communion."
MARISHA: There's been others?
MATT: "Mm-hmm. It was the first attempt at establishing a bridge."
TALIESIN: How did you even know?
SAM: What's a Molaesmyr?
ROBBIE: I have no idea. (laughter)
SAM: Cool, cool.
TRAVIS: This ruined area forest that we wouldn't explore, it's spooky, it was ruined by some kind of arcane event hundreds of years ago.
LAURA: It's where we found this. (laughter)
MARISHA: It's where you found yourself.
LAURA: We found friendship.
MARISHA: We found friendship, it's magic.
ASHLEY: Why did you choose to show this to us?
MATT: "Because you are all like many others out there, bright and strong and open to see the truths around you. You fight for what you believe in, for each other, and that is the spirit of mortal life that we fight to preserve. To your point, it's not that the gods are to be considered garbage. They are frail emotionally. They're scattered, they are not unlike us except that every step they take, they destroy eras. To your point, no one like us should ever have that much power. So."
LIAM: I don't absolve the gods of their sins. But everything you're saying about them is true of mortals. Mortals have warred since the beginning of history, killed each other in the hundreds of thousands. So why are you stopping at the gods? Surely the world should be clean of all life of any kind if that's the logic you are chasing, or it's just jealousy.
MATT: "You have such a uniquely unfocused conviction. It's admirable."
LIAM: Oh, fuck you, man.
MATT: "I am sorry for what happened to your family. Otohan was overzealous in her methods, but it seems she got what was coming to her."
LAURA: Don't act like you didn't send her to do those things.
MARISHA: She was a mad dog that you let off the leash.
TALIESIN: We didn't all walk away from that, did we?
MATT: "I own my place in that. But unfortunately what needs to be done is larger than some things."
LIAM: The ends justify the means, right? Just get fucked.
TRAVIS: The Malleus Factorum, I assume you've tried to rebuild it over the years, decades, centuries?
MATT: "The knowledge of it has been long lost. In the hopes of even uncovering its capabilities, we lack any of the technology that the Age of Arcanum at its height could produce, and it took them decades to develop."
LAURA: You have a lot of time, Ludinus.
SAM: You didn't come here to look for stories, you came here to look for something else.
MATT: "Initially maybe, but it was finding this," and he procures and holds the orb of Thalamus out a bit further.
SAM: Careful, every time you hold that up, we have a three-episode break. (laughter)
TRAVIS: No, no, no, no! (laughter)
MATT: Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! (laughter)
MATT: Brennan, I know you're busy right now.
LIAM: While the vibe is broken for a split second, that's as big as a cantaloupe, what he's holding?
MATT: Yeah, it's about this.
MARISHA: Does it look brittle?
LAURA: Yeah, it look breakable?
MARISHA: If I'm like, "Spike," like what?
MATT: It looks like ribbons of arcane energy.
TRAVIS: Ribbons of arcane energy.
MATT: Yeah. Like multitudes swirling.
LAURA: Oh, it's not a ball.
MATT: No, it is--
LIAM: Energy?
MATT: From what you can tell.
LIAM: No metal, no physical solid.
MATT: You can't tell, it looks like--
SAM: It's got bubblegum in the middle.
MATT: Yeah, little thing.
TRAVIS: It's levitating, right, he's not holding it?
MATT: No, it's just levitating with his palm.
TALIESIN: This is my fucking problem, is I can't deny that I agree with an awful fucking lot of this, but the only way I could possibly, possibly get behind this is if it ended with you dead, too.
TRAVIS: Hold on, can we finish talking about the thing he was holding up?
TALIESIN: That's the trouble isn't it? Is I don't know if I have it in me to crush something that's true.
MATT: "If I don't survive this but succeed, my spirit will lay a very, very happy end."
LIAM: Insight check. It's very high for me. It is a 17, 16.
SAM: A mini whisper. Laura--
LAURA: Yeah.
SAM: Tell us what else is in the shops these days.
ROBBIE: Yeah.
LAURA: Oh, you guys.
SAM: We restocked some stuff.
LAURA: There's socks, there's shirts.
ROBBIE: How do I read? How do I stock-- stack my discounts?
SAM: Stack for free.
ROBBIE: I don't know.
SAM: Free shipping discounts.
ROBBIE: How do I stack my discounts?
LAURA: There's free shipping.
TALIESIN: Okay.
LAURA: Then if you're a Beacon member, you get a 10% discount.
ROBBIE: That's amazing.
LAURA: Thanks for everything.
SAM: Sure. (laughter)
MATT: "A weapon would indeed be useful, but the time that it takes to construct and utilize, there are so many things that can go wrong, but information, truth, that can travel in an instant. And if what feeds this god is faith. What happens if you shake it all at once?"
SAM: I'm no friend to the Primes--
TRAVIS: (laughs)
SAM: -- but you've shown us one story of many. Who's to say that there aren't other stories out there that contradict everything you've just shown us?
LAURA: This was said to be that by what their darkest moment.
SAM: Said to be by who?
TALIESIN: That we know of.
MATT: "That we know of."
MARISHA: Said the downfall teaser.
LAURA: Yeah. (laughs)
MATT: (laughs)
LAURA: I'm concerned who was it, it's still going.
MARISHA: Don't lie, go and cheat (laughter)
SAM: Unfamiliar, I'm not a Beacon subscriber guy.
ROBBIE: Yes, yes, stay in the RP, stay in the RP.
TRAVIS: Oh my god. (laughter)
MATT: "At the very least, now that these truths are beholden before you, I hope this lets you see a little bit of who I am, who we are and why we do what we do, why I give myself to this cause."
MARISHA: I'm glad, very thankful that you showed us this, truly. But as we saw, not all of the gods were in agreement. Not all of us are going to be in agreement. One of the things they were attempting to do was look for solutions, alternative solutions to this problem. I feel like we are owed a chance at that.
MATT: "I've lived for nearly a thousand years spending every waking moment thinking on every possibility and I have failed at a number of them. I have spent lifetimes weaving intricate threads to allow this singular moment in history to be even possible. If you want to try and find an alternative, you have very little time to do so. But regardless of what you wish to do, our gears have long been turning and momentum has risen quite high. So I ask you openly and with compassion, join us. Join us to be the shepherds of our true future. To free our people from this perpetual divine penance." At which point Teven on the back goes--
MARISHA: Oh, he's still here.
MATT: "This only furthers the need for your communal punishment. All of you, my Lord demands vengeance and vengeance he will have," and he raises his blade and charges at which point Ludinus raises a hand... Natural three, Teven is Banished. In a flash of flame, he's gone.
LAURA: Oh man. How many uses did you have of that?
ASHLEY: O-Of with the--
LAURA: Calling him.
LIAM: Three or four?
ASHLEY: Or maybe it's done with me, and we don't have to think about it anymore.
TRAVIS: Yeah, I'm sure that's right. (laughter)
LAURA: You know that not everyone agrees with you. There are so many people that want the gods here.
LIAM: No, no.
LAURA: That need them.
LIAM: Ludinus knows best.
LAURA: That's right.
LIAM: So we should all put our faith in him.
LAURA: What gives you the right to decide the fate of Exandria?
ROBBIE: He just wants to be on equal ground.
LAURA: That's it?
ROBBIE: Yeah. I mean, what makes a god a god besides power?
SAM: Sarcasm.
ROBBIE: Which is--
SAM: You're doing sarcasm?
ROBBIE: No, I'm being honest. That's what you want, right? Power to stand on equal ground with the gods.
TALIESIN: No gods, only kings.
TRAVIS: Actually, I'd like to hear the answer to that question.
ASHLEY: Yeah, me too.
MATT: "I have had the capability to pull the strings behind the most powerful thrones in Exandria for some time. I've only done so towards these ends. I don't wish to control, I don't wish to be a tyrant. I just want them gone."
LAURA: You want. You.
TRAVIS: Can I ask one more question about Molaesmyr? Because I think it's pretty relevant.
LAURA: All right.
TRAVIS: That was a whole city just smoked after what I assume was a failure? Maybe a miscalculation on your part, that I assume at this point you have rectified because bridge. But the natural question is, if you're wrong and if Predathos comes out and does blue whale us like the krill that we are, for you, is that better than being subservient to them?
MATT: "(exhales) I wish you knew the things I knew."
LAURA: So tell us, Ludinus. We're here, aren't we?
LIAM: Plenty of private time.
MARISHA: Answer the question.
ASHLEY: Yeah, you've killed and hurt members of our family. Now, you're asking us to just--
LAURA: Blindly put our faith in you.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
LIAM: Like a god.
MATT: "You look like it's just me. I might be the spearhead of this, but I'm amongst many."
LAURA: I know.
MATT: "One of which is your mother."
LAURA: Yeah, I know.
MATT: "You, who holds the strongest potential in the red light of our deliverance, daughter of Liliana, who carries the burden of our future. I hope that you will rise to meet your destiny."
MARISHA: I feel like you were sidestepping. This is a big question.
TRAVIS: No, but that was good. Yeah.
MARISHA: But it seems like the answer is yes? Total destruction is better than...
MATT: "No, but that is not what's going to happen."
LIAM: Let me just take your word for it.
TALIESIN: What happens if the betrayers get out and take advantage of the situation?
TRAVIS: They get chopped too.
LAURA: What happens--
MATT: "No."
LAURA: -- if Predathos been lying to you?
LAURA: Y-You trust Predathos because you've talked to him? You've had lots of conversations and you know what they're saying is the truth.
ROBBIE: That's sarcasm, she's doing sarcasm. Yep
ASHLEY: I actually can hear you.
ROBBIE: A better perception.
SAM: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
TRAVIS: They call that stank.
ASHLEY: Yeah, that's stank, that's a stank.
MATT: "You understand what you're capable of, but you are far from the only one. And I've been amongst many. And through them, yes, it is a unique intelligence, but one that doesn't hold any grudge. One that doesn't beget any malice towards us. It just merely wants out and it wants them."
LAURA: It wants out and it wants to take, it's so hungry. I felt that. I felt welcome, right?
MATT: "Yes."
LAURA: Is that what you feel, too? You know how hard it was to get free? I can't believe it wouldn't want to do that to everything it comes across.
MATT: "Though Molaesmyr may have been a failure in the larger circumstances, it was the beginning of a rather resounding success. "For it was the first time that we were able to see each other. "It was the first--"
ASHLEY: What are you saying?
MATT: "I saw it for what it was, a lost, lonely entity, hungry in darkness. Sealed away and left to fade into its own shadow."
LAURA: Left to go insane.
ASHLEY: Yes, it's a good idea to just release that out there after all that time.
TALIESIN: Do the gods know what that thing is? Are they aware of the gravity of what you plan to throw at them?
MATT: "Oh, this isn't the first time they've encountered it, yes."
TALIESIN: Hmm.
MARISHA: Seems like they do, yes.
TALIESIN: Interesting.
ASHLEY: They've encountered it before?
LAURA: Yeah, didn't we read that?
MARISHA: There were two lost gods?
TALIESIN: Yep.
LAURA: I think it already ate some and that's why it's trapped. Who do you think put it in that moon in--
TRAVIS: Oh, do you know who the two lost gods were? Forgotten to time and history?
MATT: "I do."
TRAVIS: Oh! I mean--
MARISHA: Will you tell us?
TRAVIS: Cool, cool.
MARISHA: Because we've gotten so close on this one by like stealing your tomes.
MATT: Looks over to Fearne. "You, who was forged from the convergence of many powers. Born fey, fair and far, now bound to the primordial and the devils themselves, you step between realms like a living, walking nexus. You have so much potential."
ASHLEY: If I had a dime.
LIAM: What's a dime?
MARISHA: Are you going to go around in a circle and tell us how much potential we all have?
TRAVIS: I think he just needs to warm up--
MARISHA: Is he getting to that?
TRAVIS: -- to the answer, yeah.
MARISHA: All right.
ASHLEY: All right.
SAM: Are you just doing this for her?
ASHLEY: All right, so I have--
MATT: "You--"
MARISHA: Do me, do me. Yes, do me next.
MATT: "-- have a familiar air about you."
MARISHA: Hmm. You're getting warmer.
SAM: You're not.
MATT: "You are ever tenacious, aren't you, Delilah?"
MARISHA: W-W-What did he say? I'm just a--
TRAVIS: You're ever tenacious, aren't you, Delilah?
MARISHA: Whoo.
MATT: "You could have been so very bright had you not fallen to selfish interests in darker faith."
LAURA: Even he knows.
MATT: "Now, do you cling to your broken shores for our world, hungry and desperate, Delilah?" Within you, you can feel something within you like reaching, trying to will itself out and reach like it wants to devour the magic of Ludinus itself.
MARISHA: This is good, this feels good.
MATT: The focus past you towards Delilah, focuses on you. "I can free you from your tortured binding, grant you both a second chance at life without her shadow." Then looks back past you into Delilah, "And you, another chance for redemption in the eyes of history."
MARISHA: All right.
SAM: All right? Like you're saying yes?
MARISHA: I'm just curious how we would go about it.
MATT: "Join me in the Vanguard."
MARISHA: Oh. See, there's that. There's always an ultimatum.
LAURA: Does it seem like he's lying? Is he lying? Is he lying?
MATT: Make an insight check.
TRAVIS: I'll assist!
MATT: (laughs)
LAURA: Okay.
TRAVIS: My insight is better.
LAURA: Oh, you're assisting. Fucking hell, fuck.
ROBBIE: Wow.
LAURA: 11.
TRAVIS: 21.
SAM: Whoa! More whispers.
ROBBIE: Eww! Who gets the whisper?
SAM: Guys.
ROBBIE: Oh, the helper.
ASHLEY: Whispers.
SAM: If you haven't seen it already, Downfall, available now on all streaming platforms? (laughter) Our streaming platform.
ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
MATT: "This has been enlightening."
TRAVIS: Wait, wait. Don't teleport. Don't, wait, just hold on a second. Wait, wait, wait. One more thing, just one more.
SAM: Is it about Molaesmyr? (laughter)
SAM: Because I feel like-- (laughter)
ROBBIE: He covered everything.
TRAVIS: But I can't make the furniture unless I have all the pieces. By the way, did you like the chairs I made for you at the-- You probably don't remember. It's fine. The timeline, it feels like you could do whatever you've needed to do with Predathos this whole time. There was the weapon and then the guy with the black feathers, and now, he's a small orb and I'm just wondering what else you need. Why haven't you kicked it off yet?
ASHLEY: Yes. Good question.
MATT: "Isn't that the question?"
LIAM: That is, that is--
ASHLEY: Don't, don't get prepared. You're doing a thing like you're getting ready to leave.
TRAVIS: That was best question.
LAURA: No, yeah, yeah, best question, good. Gold star for you, Chet.
ASHLEY: That was actually my favorite question so far.
LAURA: He smiles when he doesn't want to answer.
MATT: "I believe I have been extremely forthright with you from the very beginning. And understandably, you've been conflicted."
ASHLEY: We're going to be conflicted if you're freaking killing people that we love and care about. Like what, what?
SAM: I'm not conflicted. I have taken a vow to kill you and I will.
TRAVIS: (laughs)
SAM: Today, if possible.
TALIESIN: I feel like that's beside the point, though.
TRAVIS: Wait, wait, answer the question! What are you missing?
MARISHA: We already know.
ASHLEY: Yes, what are you missing? What are you missing?
MARISHA: We already know what he's missing. He needs Imogen. He needs Liliana. He needs a Ruidusborn.
TRAVIS: Is that true?
MARISHA: You look at Imogen every time this question comes up.
SAM: She's very pretty.
MATT: His face falls a little sad. He pulls a beautiful, glowing gemstone out from behind his robe and looks at it. His fingers plucks it away ao s the chain drops and dangles from his hand, pulses with a unique and palpable magical energy. "So many chances. It would be a shame. I still believe we can do great things together. But no matter, I have contingencies that do require me and don't require your assistance. Soon the world will see what we've seen."
TALIESIN: When they do, and I say this because I have met a lot of people like you, and I know you're about to say, "There's no one like me," and I've heard that from a lot of people in my life, what are you going to do when you discover that a large collection of the people who know this don't love you?
MATT: "I don't do this for love."
TALIESIN: I believe you believe that.
LAURA: What's the stone?
MARISHA: Can I do an arcana check from a distance to get a bead on it?
MATT: Sure, make an arcana check.
MARISHA: Cool, natural one, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool.
LAURA: Tight, tight, tight, tight, tight, tight.
TALIESIN: Damn it, Matt.
MARISHA: We're doing great.
MATT: You're uncertain of what it is, but just looking at it is almost entrancing. You can feel thrum of its power, like a (energetic throbbing).
LAURA: What color is it?
TRAVIS: Green.
MATT: A green-blue flickering pulse.
LAURA: Does it look like the Predathos glass?
TRAVIS: Glass.
MATT: Glass?
LIAM: Blue glass?
MATT: It has a pretty similar tinge to it.
ASHLEY: Can I try to take it? (laughter)
MATT: You're about 15 feet from him, but yeah. How do you want to try it out?
ASHLEY: Yeah, I'm going to try take it.
LAURA and TALIESIN: How? How?
TRAVIS: Tell us how you're going to cross this 15 feet.
LAURA: Just going to walk over and--
LIAM: Yeah. LARP it.
ASHLEY: I'm going to try to--
TRAVIS: Smooth.
SAM: (like Fearne) Oh, I tripped.
LAURA: Oh, I tripped forward. (laughter)
ASHLEY: Try to--
LIAM: (like Fearne) Just stand on this grate.
MARISHA: It's these backwards knees.
ROBBIE: I think you've done that a couple times.
LAURA: I'm going to walk forward and take it.
ASHLEY: I want to Mage Hand it.
LAURA: Mage Hand it out of his hand?
TRAVIS: From 15 feet away.
SAM: While he's looking at it.
LIAM: (like Fearne) What's that over there?
ASHLEY: No, I'm just going to just walk around, take in the space. Act like I'm listening. (hums) (laughter)
ASHLEY: And then--
TRAVIS: We are nothing if not aware of the stage we are on.
MATT: I love it. All right, so, Fearne. (laughter)
TALIESIN: Oh no.
MATT: I need you make a sleight of hand check for me, please.
TRAVIS: Alone.
LAURA: Wait.
SAM: The most disadvantage.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: Deeply disadvantaged.
ASHLEY: Oh, deeply disadvantaged?
MATT: Deeply disadvantaged.
TRAVIS: (laughs)
ASHLEY: Okay.
LAURA: It's so high.
TRAVIS: AC three digits.
ASHLEY: 18.
MATT: 18.
LAURA: Oh, okay.
ASHLEY: Yeah, that one.
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: (laughs)
MATT: You see him as he's looking at the stone, and his eyes--
LIAM: He's referring to it. (laughter)
ASHLEY: What other moment would you do it?
TRAVIS: He's referring to it. Ashley's like, "Fingers creep in."
MATT: He looks at it.
MARISHA: He just banished a demon.
MATT: And looks up at you with a keen 'What the fuck are you doing?' head tilt and he's like, "Hmm."
ASHLEY: What is that? (laughter)
ASHLEY: I was-- I couldn't see it. I don't have my glasses on. So I was wanting to get closer to see what you're holding.
LAURA: Maybe you can just walk over there and look at it, then.
ASHLEY: Yeah, what is that? (laughter)
MATT: "It's not for you, love."
ASHLEY: Well, what are you pulling it out for?
MATT: Looks back towards you. And says, "I'll await your answer to my offer. Though you always were a crafty one. Here, a means to take what you seek and fill it with clarity of mind. Find me when you're free of these disappointments."
TRAVIS: No! (whoosh)
LAURA: (gasps)
MATT: You grab the gem.
TRAVIS: Oh fuck.
MATT: Are you trying to slap that out of her hand?
TRAVIS: I would try and make a swipe at it, but I don't know if I can do it.
MATT: All right, so make contested dexterity checks.
ASHLEY: Oh.
TRAVIS: This happened in campaign one. If I see it, I'm going to try and stop it.
MATT: This isn't with your dexterity, though. So both of you, both-- (exclaiming)
MATT: Both of you roll a d20.
SAM: Delilah's a rogue, right?
LAURA: Yeah, and very athletic.
SAM: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Just dexterity, right?
MATT: Yeah.
LAURA: (stone hitting face)
LIAM: Telekinesis, Telekinesis.
LAURA: Can I Telekinesis?
MARISHA: 13.
TRAVIS: 19.
MATT: (whoosh, smack) You catch it in your hand and grab it. The hunger inside you surges with fury and frustration as the shadow swarms, and you reach over and grab on to Chetney's arm. You feel like your body is now being pulled and wrested from your grasp. What do you do?
TRAVIS: (gulps) No, I'm just kidding. I'm going to just-- (laughter)
TRAVIS: (grunts) (laughter)
SAM: You can do it.
TRAVIS: Go and get it! (laughter)
TALIESIN: It's amazing that you figured out how to get it to suck in that quick. That's some muscle control.
MARISHA: I'm not really in control, right? I'm holding on to Chetney.
MATT: I mean, your body just went (whoosh) on its own.
SAM: Get it, girl.
MATT: What do you do?
SAM: Rip out his throat.
LAURA: (snarls)
MARISHA: Hunger of the Shadow.
MATT: All right, go ahead and roll.
TRAVIS: I can throw out three-word names.
MATT: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Four.
MATT: Go ahead and roll. (laughter)
TALIESIN: All right, I think that's exactly what this is.
TRAVIS: Hunger of the Shadow. (laughter)
TRAVIS: Hunger of the Shadow.
MARISHA: If it's very much Delilah-provoked, which is, feels like what you're telling me, right?
ASHLEY: ♪ Hungry, hungry shadow ♪
MATT: Something within you is forcing your body to do this.
TRAVIS: ♪ Hunger of the Shadow ♪ ♪ Hunger of the Shadow ♪
MATT: If you want to follow it up with that, then roll an attack against, is this against Chetney or is this against what he grabbed?
MATT: Chetney, because I'm grabbing Chetney.
MATT: Yeah.
MARISHA: Not what he grabbed, so.
MATT: Okay, so go ahead and roll an attack.
MARISHA: I--
TRAVIS: And while shit's happening, I try and put it in the Bag of Holding. I'm holding the Bag of Holding.
MARISHA: ♪ I'm really sorry ♪
LAURA: Ooh, I think that will destroy the Bag of Holding.
TRAVIS: Hmm?
ASHLEY: Wait.
LAURA: Destroy the Bag of Holding. That's not good.
TALIESIN: I wouldn't, I wouldn't.
ASHLEY: What would destroy--
MARISHA: Okay, I'm pretty sure. Yes, that's 21.
MATT: What's your AC?
TRAVIS: Oh, yeah.
MATT: All right, let's roll damage for your Hunger of the Shadow Shard.
TRAVIS: I don't want that.
SAM: Aren't these your friends?
ROBBIE: I'm not so sure anymore.
MARISHA: ♪ I got a crazy dead lady inside me ♪ All right, that does eight, nine.
SAM: Is she single?
MARISHA: 12. (laughter)
MARISHA: She might be soon!
ASHLEY: ♪ I got a crazy dead lady inside me ♪
TALIESIN: She needs a rebound, to be fair, real bad.
MARISHA: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Woof.
ASHLEY: Boy, maybe that could solve--
MARISHA: Oh, wait, it says five--
ASHLEY: Here, here's what you need.
MARISHA: It went up.
ROBBIE: Always does.
LAURA: Get laid. Delilah, oh, she did this all the time.
MARISHA: It was a pretty weak roll. 14 necrotic damage.
MATT: 14 necrotic damage to you, Chetney.
MARISHA: I regain a warlock spell slot.
MATT: Yes, you do.
TRAVIS: As that hits, the (crackles) necrotic stuff, I will take the Bag of Holding, and I will (screams) throw the Bag of Holding towards Dorian.
ROBBIE: Oh.
MARISHA: I try to snap out of it immediately.
LAURA: (gasps)
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: Keep away! Keep away! She gets attracted to powerful stuff. Bitch, that fucking stung.
LAURA: Can you throw it into the bag?
MARISHA: Ah!
LAURA: Did you get it in the bag?
TRAVIS: Yeah.
ROBBIE: Oh, it's in the bag.
LAURA: Can you-- going to throw the bag away?
TRAVIS: I threw it to Dorian.
LAURA: Oh.
MARISHA: I try to rip my hand apart, and fucking claw at my head, and try to come back.
MATT: "It looks like you have enough to deal with within your midst. Find me when you've decided what you need. Delilah, there is so much within these ruins that can be of help to you."
ASHLEY: Wait, I'm going to try, I'm going to try, I'm going to try to take, I'm going to try to take the orb.
LAURA: He already threw it. It's in the bag.
LIAM: The orb.
ASHLEY: The orb!
LAURA: Orb! Oh!
TRAVIS: The spinning ribbons of energy?
ASHLEY: Yeah.
LIAM: Yeah.
SAM: The Factotum?
LAURA: Before he goes away?
LIAM: During the hubbub of this?
ASHLEY: Yeah, yes.
MATT: All right, so you're going to rush towards him?
ASHLEY: Yes.
MATT: Okay, now we're in initiative technically.
ASHLEY: Oh!
MATT: If you're now darting towards him at this point.
SAM: Do it.
MATT: I'm just saying it's you and him. So go ahead--
ASHLEY: That's fine.
MATT: -- and roll an initiative check just for you. I'll keep tabs on this.
TRAVIS: Yeah, hopefully, it's not a Spinning Orb of Death and it tears you apart in one second.
TALIESIN: It's just a VCR, it's going to be fine.
TRAVIS: (laughs)
TALIESIN: You're going to get a little--
TRAVIS: It's way older.
TALIESIN: -- your fingernail's going to get fucked up putting your hand in.
TRAVIS: It's the top-loading one.
LIAM: Oh, boy.
TRAVIS: (machine whirring)
ROBBIE: Got to rewind it. You get a pencil.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
SAM: Ashley Johnson, dice that are unreadable. (laughter)
MATT: Girl, we got to go dice shopping real bad.
ASHLEY: No, this is a gift and I really like it.
LAURA: No, no, no, this is really beautiful.
ASHLEY: There's really no dot on it.
LAURA: I think it's a nine. No. (laughter)
ROBBIE: Too important!
ASHLEY: I'm going to roll another one because there's no dot.
ROBBIE: Too important to think it's a nine.
SAM: No, look. No, look for the 19, look for the 19.
ROBBIE: Always everyone.
LAURA: I know, yeah, that's I'm doing, I looked at the 16, I think, but now I can't remember which one it was.
SAM: I saw it.
ASHLEY: I don't. I don't remember which one.
LAURA: Was it a six?
SAM: No, show me.
LAURA: Because they're right next to each other.
MATT: Well, six or nine, it's still lower than he got.
ASHLEY: Six or nine is still lower than he got?
SAM: It was 16 or 19.
LIAM: How do I open my email?
MATT: It was 16 or 19?
SAM: Yes.
ASHLEY: No, it was a six or a nine.
SAM: Oh!
ASHLEY: Yeah, it was a six, six or a nine plus two.
SAM: Why are we even having this conversation.
ASHLEY: I was going to say, yeah, yeah.
MATT: So you dart towards him and you reach--
ASHLEY: Well, I don't dart.
MATT: What were you doing?
SAM: Lunging slowly.
ASHLEY: As they're going, I'm just doing a side walk over.
MATT: Okay, cool.
LAURA: Oh, sidewalk.
ASHLEY: It's just really--
MARISHA: Like a jazz walk?
ASHLEY: Yeah, just a quick little--
TRAVIS: Are you trying to stealth?
SAM: Shuffle Off to Buffalo?
ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, that's nice.
ASHLEY: Yeah, I'm trying to stealth. I'm trying to stealth.
MATT: All right, awesome.
ASHLEY: That's what I was trying to do.
TRAVIS: Awesome.
MATT: So roll a stealth check for me.
TRAVIS: (laughs) I love a sexy roll.
MATT: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Awesome.
SAM: This dice has no numbers on it. (laughter)
ASHLEY: I just decide. 16! 16.
MATT: 16, okay. So as this moment happens, the chaos ensues, the dark shadows are encircling Laudna. She's grasping her hand. You can see the flares of purple energy (chaotic hissing) rocketing out of her shoulders from each sides. As Dorian reaches up and catches the Bag of Holding from the air that was tossed to him from Chetney, you dart around the side just as Ludinus glanced out of the corner of his eye and sees you. There's (whoosh) this encircle of mist. (quick whoosh) And he's not there.
LAURA: (sighs) Do we still feel him in the room or is he gone?
MATT: Make a perception check, if you want to.
TALIESIN: I head towards Laudna just to steady.
LAURA: Can I-- I mean, it's a nine perception, but can I Detect Thoughts?
MATT: Sure.
LIAM: I wanted to-- Did it look like what happens when Essek teleports us to places? Or did it look different?
MATT: It looked like as soon as you approached his body, just turned to mist. It looked different from any sort of Teleporting experience.
LAURA: Misty Step. That was a Misty Step.
LIAM: I rolled balls. Okay, cool.
LAURA: I detected thoughts to see if I can feel him.
MATT: The range on that is?
LIAM: Thousand miles.
LAURA: A thousand miles.
MATT: (laughs)
TRAVIS: ♪ I would walk a thousand miles if I could ♪
LAURA: ♪ If it's within 30 feet of me ♪ Misty Step is also 30 feet--
TALIESIN: I head towards you, and I'm definitely trying to--
LAURA: -- isn't it?
TALIESIN: -- focus you in.
MATT: Correct.
MARISHA: I'm sorry.
MATT: So he vanishes. You realize he's vanishing. You cast Detect Thoughts. Nothing. What you do hear is the hinged door to the chamber. (thudding)
TRAVIS: Oh.
MATT: Closes shut.
LAURA: (sighs)
MARISHA: I close my eyes.
TRAVIS: Oh, he's (quick whooshes).
MATT: Yes?
MARISHA: He's haunted by my spirit.
LIAM: Oh, right.
MATT: He is, yeah.
ROBBIE: Oh, yeah, you did hold.
LIAM: I'm going to try.
MATT: You close your eyes and focus.
ASHLEY: Yes!
MATT: You can feel him beyond the door. Then he's gone.
MARISHA: He's gone.
MATT: However, at this time, as you close your eyes and pierce into that darkness, you feel yourself falling into that shadow, and you hear heavily, fuzzily plunging into your ears, "I've waited too long to have been this close and have it taken."
MARISHA: What are you talking about? I didn't do anything. I tried. You tried. This is on you!
MATT: "I'll do what I always do, what must be done."
MARISHA: What are you doing? I'm gripping on to Ashton, by the way.
TALIESIN: Am I hearing this shit?
ROBBIE: Yeah, that's the question. Are we hearing her--
MATT: You're hearing her talking.
ROBBIE: -- saying this?
TALIESIN: Okay.
MATT: Are you talking saying this out loud or are you--
MARISHA: Yeah, 100%.
ROBBIE: As soon as I hear her talking to herself, I'm tiptoeing slowly away--
MARISHA: I'm saying it, I would be saying it out loud.
ROBBIE: -- as far away from her as possible.
TALIESIN: I'm-- yeah.
LAURA: I'm walking towards her.
TRAVIS: Her fingers are just in my rib cage, ah!
LAURA: Is it-- is it still--
TALIESIN: I'm not the one, she's--
MARISHA: No, I let go of Chetney, but I'm gripping Ashton.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MARISHA: Yeah, I mean, you can hear me saying this.
TALIESIN: Hey. Hey.
MARISHA: She's going to take me.
TALIESIN: She's not going to take you. You're here.
MARISHA: She's going to take me.
MATT: Essek glances to you, and his hands are glowing, and he's at the ready. He's like, "What do we do? Is this an issue?"
TRAVIS: That's it.
MARISHA: I look at Imogen.
TALIESIN: If we have to knock her unconscious, we will, but she's going to--
LAURA: Laudna--
TALIESIN: -- she can pull through this. How close are you, by the way, HP-wise?
MARISHA: I'm full.
TALIESIN: You're full? Good to know.
MARISHA: No.
LAURA: I look at you straight in the eyes.
MARISHA: What does she see?
LAURA: What do I see?
MATT: You see the darkness of Laudna's eyes. And there, that spark, that liveliness, that beauty is receding.
MARISHA: Oh.
MATT: And where the shadow is flickering up the shoulders, you can see it flicking up the neck a little bit.
LAURA: No, no, no!
MARISHA: I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.
TALIESIN: It's okay.
MATT: Make a wisdom saving throw for me, please.
TRAVIS: Oh shit, escalation!
ASHLEY: Oh my god.
TRAVIS: No big deal, no big deal.
MARISHA: Oh, what is happening?
LAURA: We have to make it better!
LIAM: Failing's way more fun.
LAURA: No, it's not.
LIAM: Yes, it is.
MARISHA: I'm going to use this pretty-- Just a straight wisdom save, right?
MATT: Yeah.
MARISHA: My wisdom is high.
LAURA: Yes, yes, yes.
MARISHA: 18.
MATT and LAURA: 18 total?
MARISHA: Yep.
MATT: As you're looking into her eyes, the shadow begins to subside, and she doubles into her arms grabbing herself as the tension in the room goes quiet.
TALIESIN: I'm holding on, I am watching like a fucking-- I actually am very quietly going to pull your head up so I can see your fucking--
MATT: (explosion blasting) (screaming)
TRAVIS: I knew it!
MATT: She bursts into a swirling flare of dark black and purple energy around.
ASHLEY: Oh no!
MATT: You watch as Laudna begins to rise up, her body extending, twisting, her fingers clawing at the end, her jaw descends. Her eyes now these open vacant sockets burning purple light in them. She screams (wails) outward as the purple energy swirls up around her to form the ghostly outer form of Delilah Briarwood.
TRAVIS: Oh shit.
MATT: And we're going to go to break-- (screaming)
TRAVIS: Oh shit!
ASHLEY: No no!
TRAVIS: Oh shit!
ASHLEY: No!
TRAVIS: Oh no!
ASHLEY: Oh my god.
LAURA: What? What?
MARISHA: I don't know! I don't know, I don't know any of this!
LIAM: He just monologued at us for an hour and flipped the table.
LAURA: Ah!
TALIESIN: Whitestone kids, baby, woo!
MATT: (laughs)
ROBBIE: Thanks for throwing me that bag, bro.
TRAVIS: Oh, yeah, yeah.
MATT: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Take the blue one! (laughter)
TALIESIN: You're one of us now.
MATT: So (laughs) We're going return here shortly and pick up with--
TALIESIN: Wow.
MATT: -- whatever this is going to be here in a second.
ASHLEY: No!
MATT: We'll see you soon.
LAURA: What? What?
Break
(dice clattering) ♪ You're a magic-wielding mage in a vibrant, hopeful land ♪ ♪ You're ready for heroics and your spells are close to hand ♪ ♪ Mythas is a wild and wonderful place where you can thrive ♪ ♪ Provided, and this is just a tiny, inconsequential caveat ♪ ♪ That you're able to stay alive ♪ ♪ Stay alive ♪ ♪ You'll meet a stranger in a tavern ♪ ♪ 'Cause that's just how it works ♪ ♪ Pay no heed to rumors of wild creatures going berserk ♪ ♪ You're going to score some loot ♪ ♪ Become a legend, save some lives ♪ ♪ There might be one or two Bone Collectors ♪ ♪ Creepers, Oozes, Dragons, Prowlers, Tidemaws ♪ ♪ But you'll probably stay alive ♪ ♪ Stay alive ♪ ♪ So gather your party, embrace adventure ♪ ♪ Hit the road and have a blast ♪ ♪ You'll likely bring some chaos to your GM's well-laid paths ♪ ♪ Just don't forget who pulls the strings ♪ ♪ And helps you to survive ♪ ♪ Be nice to your good old GM and you might just stay alive ♪ ♪ Stay alive, stay alive ♪
(peaceful music)
You fought well, princesses. But you didn't think winning the throne was gonna be that easy. Did you? [laughter] No, no, no. Midnight draws on. But this battle is just getting started. [laughter] I can't wait to see how this turns out.
XEN: It doesn't occur to any of you that the moon is about to fall out of the sky. And why would it? It's just a regular Monday here on the moon. Goe is watching the gigantic wall of darkness inbound. This isn't going to have transformative, long-lasting, incredibly far-reaching consequences, is it? Unfortunately, it will. We have gathered together a small squad of unlikely chums to seek what perhaps cannot be found. SARA: This is feeling really weird, really fast. XEN: I think it's time to go. All aboard. What could possibly go wrong? Such as, for example, the moon literally exploding literally right now.
LIAM: What's in it for you? Helping us...
MATT: If there is even the remotest chance that they are still alive, I have to see that through.
MARISHA: It's not about knowing or not knowing. It's about being willing to find out. (peaceful music) (music builds)
TALIESIN: Very curious about the nature of the game, if Molly had gotten through that fight.
LAURA: Oh, yeah.
TALIESIN: But that's a big, that's a big, like, that's not a little, that's affecting the timeline.
LAURA: Well, yeah, but that's awesome.
ASHLEY: That would've affected,
TALIESIN: Everything.
ASHLEY: So much. Everything.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
LAURA: Oh, wow.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
LAURA: Jester would've had to keep healing. Maybe it's good that Molly died. (all laughing)
TALIESIN: Everyone's here to have a good, bad time.
LAURA: I hate feeling bad. I hate being sad.
BRENNAN: The throat of the mind is the deepest of all.
ASHLEY: I don't like leading or following.
BRENNAN: I like to be unaccompanied and stationary.
KIRBY: And now, a message from your Critical Role lore keeper: Dani Carr. DANI: We here at Critical Role know that life happens. Sometimes your friend becomes a rampaging werewolf that you gotta calm down. Sometimes your other friend needs help dealing with a dead lady in her head. We get it. And when life happens, we are not always able to watch four to five hours of Critical Role a week. That's why our lore department has been working tirelessly to find a way to make it both easier and faster to consume Critical Role's main campaign without losing that rich and vibrant tapestry of story and lore the Critter community has come to love. And after countless hours of hard work, we are happy to announce that we have found that way. Introducing Critical Role Abridged. Each episode of this lore keeper approved series has been carefully crafted by an incredibly devoted team to include everything you need to know to follow the Bells Hells stories all in about one hour. We've even added new pieces of artwork, bringing characters, items, and moments to life thanks to the help of our amazing community of artists from around the world. The time is now to begin your Critical Role catch up with abridged episodes of the Bells Hells campaign. New episodes air every Tuesday at 10:00 AM Pacific on YouTube. Beacon members receive two new episodes dropping every week on Tuesdays and Fridays.
(energetic music) (gentle music) (tavern music)
LAURA: Hey Critters! Laura Bailey here to guide you through what's new in the Critical Role shop. Roll an Investigation if you want, it's basically perfect. Style should never be a dump stat, Darling. You need this? You probably need this. This is pretty badass. (gasp) Could anything be more perfect? I mean the Traveler always says, impulse purchases are a good decision. Oh my gosh, it's so amazing. Go ahead, Darling. Treat yourself. And hey if you want, you could head over to the Critical Role shop right now.
(ominous music) (epic music) (mischievous music) (typewriter clacking) (peaceful music)
(door opening) [studio audience laughter] [light applause] FATHER: Honey, kids, I'm home! MOTHER: Welcome home, dear. [studio audience laughter] MOTHER: And you know what night it is? CHILD 1 and CHILD 2: It's Thursday night! MOTHER and FATHER: (laugh) ♪ (upbeat TV theme) ♪ NARRATOR: This summer, get the membership the entire family can enjoy! Your one-stop shop for the world of Critical Role. FATHER: (laughs) NARRATOR: Including a 10% discount in all our shops, live event pre-sales, a private Discord. FATHER: The popcorn monster! NARRATOR: And instant access to all podcasts and VODs for all your favorite shows. CHILD 1: Hurry up, Mom! CHILD 2: Critical Role is about to start! ♪ (upbeat TV theme ends) ♪ (remote control click) (ominous flashing) NARRATOR: With Beacon, all your dreams can become a reality. Beacon will introduce you to what has been and what could be. CHILD 1: Is Sam turning into a sunflower? MOTHER: No, Son, Sam has always been a sunflower. (static crackling) CHILD 2: Is Sam my father? FATHER: No, I'm your father. NARRATOR: Beacon will bring you to the edges of the (distorted) cosmic threshold. (distorted speech and gnashing) (distorted speech and gnashing) (increasing beeping and powering up) (chirping notification) MOTHER: Oh, the new episode of Candela just dropped. FATHER: Oh, spooky. [studio audience laughter] ♪ (upbeat TV theme) ♪ NARRATOR: Beacon. Endless stories, endless possibilities.
Part II
MATT: And welcome back. So let's roll some initiative. (shouting)
SAM: Boy oh boy. Bells Hells plush available now. The Bells Hells are ready to join your couch party. Chetney Pock O'Pea, Imogen Temult, and Lautna plush are now available. Pick yours up at wizkids.io/BellsHells.
ASHLEY: Whoa, whoa, who is that?
TRAVIS: Whoa!
LAURA: Those are the broken statues you talked about.
LIAM: Wow, that's pretty.
MARISHA: I'm assuming I roll initiative, too?
TRAVIS: That's dope.
MATT: No.
MARISHA: No?
MATT: Actually, you know what? Yeah, roll for--
TRAVIS: I didn't have a Downfall statue to smash.
MATT: So we have Chetney, whereabouts do you see yourself? This way you are all keeping watch over here. Would you be on this side or this side?
TRAVIS: Where was Ludinus?
MATT: Ludinus was over here next to the orb.
TRAVIS: So I'll be in front of this little rubble pile to your right a little bit.
MATT: Over here?
TRAVIS: Yes, yes, yes.
MATT: You got it.
SAM: (excited noises)
TALIESIN: Does Feral Instinct, will that help me at all in this situation?
MATT: For which one?
TALIESIN: If I'm surprised at the beginning of a combat but not incapacitated, I can act normally on my first turn as long as I enter a--
MATT: You are not surprised. Yeah, this is just standard initiative. All right, so if Chetney is there, everyone else have any preferences to their placement? I know that you were holding on to Laudna.
TALIESIN: Yeah, I was right in front of her.
LAURA: I had either side of her face and I was looking at her.
MATT: Correct, so you would likely be over here
LIAM: I think Orym will be wherever Braius is, just because I gave him a fist bump.
MATT: All right, Braius, where would you be?
SAM: I'll be wherever Orym is.
MATT: All right, well, there you go, I'll put you there. Essek, who's back here, arms, ready to go. Oh god.
ASHLEY: Oh!
MATT: That fuckin' catch! (laughter)
MATT: I don't know why that came off his base, too.
MARISHA: How did that?
ROBBIE: Where'd this chair come from? (laughter)
ROBBIE: You threw me so hard I turned into a chair?
MATT: Is the mini over there? That's so funny.
MARISHA: He was a chair the whole time.
MATT: Fly in some super glue here.
ROBBIE: Remember me, episode one.
LIAM: ♪ Secret chair! ♪
MATT: That'd be so funny.
LIAM and TRAVIS: ♪ Secret chair ♪
MATT: I usually have a super glue pot over here, but it's gone.
LAURA: Oh no!
ROBBIE: Roll for super glue!
MATT: So until that shows up.
LAURA: You're just a circle.
MATT: I'll say, where do you want to be over here?
ROBBIE: As far away from Laudna as possible. I was tiptoeing away as soon as she started talking to herself.
MARISHA: You did say that. Yeah.
ROBBIE: I did say that. Yeah.
MATT: I'll put you, you're taking a break. There we go.
LAURA: Oh, he's just-- (laughter)
ROBBIE: That is so scary.
TRAVIS: Super glue is incoming.
MARISHA: You're planking in the corner.
MATT: Great. (laughter)
ROBBIE: Now, you can't see me.
MATT: All righty, Fearne?
ASHLEY: I will be--
MATT: You said you were scooting over this way to try and get some--
ASHLEY: Yeah, I said I was scooting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe in a little closer.
MATT: -- there would be-- This is where Ludinus was when you tried to snatch the stone from him.
ASHLEY: Oh, that's true, okay, okay, okay.
MATT: And he (whooshes).
LIAM: And that metal sphere, is that where he pulled the light ball out of?
MATT: Correct.
LIAM and LAURA: Okay.
MATT: You can just hand it to me off camera. You don't have to crawl in, thank you. (laughter)
TRAVIS: Appreciate the effort!
ROBBIE: Slither on the floor!
ASHLEY: Stealth mode.
ROBBIE: Aw, I feel so cared for.
MATT: Of course, buddy, we got you.
TRAVIS: (fart noise)
LAURA: Boom. (laughter)
MATT: All righty.
ROBBIE: This is what Dungeons & Dragons is all about.
ASHLEY: This is real live TV, guys.
ROBBIE: I feel like I'm at a home game.
TRAVIS: This is what Actual Play is. Actual fixes.
ASHLEY: This is AP right here.
MATT: This is... professional. (laughter)
TRAVIS: Do you know what it is? It's relatable, Matt.
TALIESIN: Only the finest of super glue.
LAURA: Yay.
SAM: The podcast listeners must love it.
MATT: For the podcast listeners, I have just placed Dorian's now-repaired mini onto the map.
ROBBIE: And then he blew on my feet. (laughter)
SAM: WikiFeet!
MATT: Not supposed to tell them that.
TALIESIN: Can't wait for the art.
LIAM: Not the mini. (laughter)
ROBBIE: Yeah!
MATT: And so there--
ROBBIE: We all know what I meant.
LAURA: What?!
LIAM: There she is.
TRAVIS: What!
MARISHA: Wait.
TRAVIS: What!
MARISHA: I look so cool, though!
LAURA: Baby!
ROBBIE: No, that's scary.
LIAM: Look at all those inner--
MARISHA: Wait, can I see it?
LIAM: Look at Laudna's face.
MATT: Yeah, careful, it's a little fragile.
ROBBIE: Careful, careful.
ASHLEY: That is so cool!
MARISHA: (gasps)
MATT: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Oh, you're in the bottom. She's comin' out yo hair.
MARISHA: (excited groan)
ROBBIE: Yeah.
MARISHA: Wait, I got to get a picture.
SAM: It's going to be on the show. (laughter)
LIAM: Play the game! Sorry, podcast, sorry.
TRAVIS: The mini's down!
TALIESIN: I like the notion that Laudna's trying to Instagram this while the fight's about to happen.
MATT: I know. (laughs)
LIAM: (scary groan)
MARISHA: Guys, check out my latest transformation.
MATT: All right. So for initiatives, 25 to 20.
ROBBIE: Oh, I didn't do it.
TALIESIN: 23.
LIAM: 23.
TALIESIN: Hey!
LAURA: Wait, who has the higher dex?
TALIESIN: Probably you, my dex is--
LIAM: Oh, actually no, it's Ash, I rolled 22, 22.
ROBBIE: I got a 22.
LAURA: Whoa.
LIAM and ROBBIE: Eyy.
LAURA: Who's higher dex of you guys?
LIAM: I'm 20 dex.
SAM: Rollies? Rollies?
LIAM: We could just do Rollies.
LAURA: Rollies it out.
LIAM: It's more fun.
ROBBIE: Well, fine, let's do it, we've never Rollies. One, two, three. Uh, that'd be a two.
LIAM: Six.
MATT: All righty. So Ash, Orym, Dorian.
ROBBIE: Okay.
MATT: 20 to 15?
ASHLEY: 17.
LAURA: 16.
TRAVIS: Imo.
TALIESIN: Fearne.
MATT: Okay, 15 to 10?
LAURA: Uh-huh, uh-huh.
TALIESIN: Crickets.
MATT: 10 to five?
TALIESIN: Really?
ROBBIE: Negative numbers?
LAURA: Really?
MATT: Five to one?
MARISHA: I rolled a four.
TRAVIS: Four.
SAM: I rolled a one, which became a four.
MARISHA: So all three of us are on fours.
MATT: All right, what's your dex?
LIAM, SAM, and MARISHA: Multi rollies.
SAM: How about Boulder, Parchment, Shears?
MARISHA: Boulder, Parchment, Shears! Okay, ready?
TRAVIS: Throw on four.
ASHLEY: That's fine.
TRAVIS: One, two, three, four. (laughter)
TRAVIS: Yes!
LIAM: Why did you think it was a good idea? (laughter)
ROBBIE: Everybody wins!
TALIESIN: Odd man out goes first.
MARISHA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Okay, Rollies.
MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
ASHLEY: Stupid.
TRAVIS: 14.
SAM: 19.
MARISHA: Seven.
SAM and LIAM: Okay.
TALIESIN: So.
LAURA and SAM: Braius.
ROBBIE: Braius.
SAM: Chet. Wait.
ROBBIE: Chet.
LIAM: Yep. Chatney.
LAURA: Chet.
LAURA: Delilah.
TRAVIS: And Delilah.
TALIESIN: Well, not Delilah.
ASHLEY: Laudna or Delilah?
SAM: Oh wait.
ROBBIE: We don't know yet.
MARISHA: Delaudna.
MATT: Braius, Chetney--
TRAVIS: Delilah.
LIAM: Delaudna.
TRAVIS: Delaudna. ♪ It's Delaudna ♪ ♪ It's de-lovely ♪
ASHLEY: We don't have time for this right now!
MARISHA: So we got a ton of people to smack some sense into me.
SAM: You're going to get seven attacks against you.
MARISHA: Or ask for Delilah.
LAURA: Maybe Delilah will go before Laudna, though.
MARISHA: I have no idea. I don't know!
MATT: So.
SAM: Oh boy.
MATT: The beginning of this combat round as this transformation takes place. Ashton, you're up, with Orym on deck. As you see Laudna in the process of this terrifying banshee nightmare transformation and the spirit of Delilah swirling around and apparating. Uncertain what is friend, what is foe, what do you do?
TALIESIN: I'm going to, first of all, I'm just going to yell. Sit the fuck down, bitch! If you want to get what the fuck you want to get, you're going to have to work! And I am going to rage and I'm going to fuckin'--
LAURA and MARISHA: You better work.
ASHLEY: You better work, bitch.
SAM: That sounded like "Drag Race." (laughter)
MARISHA: It is. You betta--
TALIESIN: Thank you!
MARISHA and TALIESIN: Work!
TALIESIN: So, what do I have built right now? Oh, okay. We get the rainbow sparkles, which means that Ashton starts to spark in every color possible coming out of the glass and that'll be fun. Everyone within 10 feet of me gets to add a d4 to all of their attack rolls and saving throws.
LIAM: Whenever within.
TALIESIN: Whenever within 10 feet of me.
LIAM: Not at the kick off, got it. Staying close.
TALIESIN: So I am going to start trying to knock you the fuck out. I don't know what else to do.
MATT: All righty, roll for an attack.
TALIESIN: All right. So, all right. Since--
LIAM: You said watching the orb movie was a short rest?
MATT: I'll allow it.
LIAM: Yeah?
MATT: I'll allow a short rest over the process of that, yeah.
LAURA: Wait, we short rested?
MATT: I'll allow it, sure.
TALIESIN: Awesome. Thank you.
LIAM: I'll take it.
ASHLEY: Yeah, but you don't get any spells back.
TALIESIN: That helped a lot, actually. All right, let's do this shit. 23 to hit.
MATT: 23 to hit. Shield.
TALIESIN: All right.
TRAVIS: Damn, that was a nonchalant shield.
MATT: Yeah, so that misses.
ASHLEY: She's very, very high level. We're fighting her again.
TALIESIN: All right, here we go again. Oh, actually I'm so sorry, more than 23 to hit. I forgot my bonus. 27 to hit.
MATT: Okay, so not using the Shield then, and that hits.
TALIESIN: Okay.
MARISHA: We rest--
MATT: And your next, your second attack?
TALIESIN: Second attack is--
LIAM: We rested in the tower.
TALIESIN: Nope. Second attack is a one.
MATT: It's a natural one.
TALIESIN: Natural one.
MATT: All righty, you got it.
TALIESIN: But I got one hit in.
MATT: One hit in.
TALIESIN: Which is--
TRAVIS: Jizz? (laughter)
TALIESIN: Adorable.
TALIESIN: That's--
ROBBIE: Come on.
TALIESIN: -- 22 points of damage.
MATT: 22 points of damage, all righty. (thud) You impact and as the hammer strikes off, you can see the form crumple at the hit and then (squelches) pop back, the bones themselves taking place once more.
TALIESIN: And just for fun, I'm going to push her with that hit. No, I'm not going to push her-- Never mind, I'm good.
MATT: Okay, no worries. All right. that finishes your turn?
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: Orym, you're up. Actually, no, at the end of your turn, she's going to use Legendary Action to do a Wraith Claw strike against you.
TALIESIN: All right, one second.
TRAVIS: Legendary Action.
MATT: That's going to be a 21 to hit.
TALIESIN: That hits.
MATT: All righty. So for this, for the Wraith Claw strike, you take--
TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm actually, I think I can use Erratic Defense after you roll this, if I recall.
MATT: Sure.
TALIESIN: All right.
MATT: So that's going to be 24 points of necrotic damage to you.
TALIESIN: Okay, I'm going to use Erratic Defense for this.
MATT: Okay, what's it do?
TALIESIN: Let's find out.
SAM: Eradicator! (laughter)
TALIESIN: I am going to use-- I have resistance to the attack, and until the end of the attacker's next turn, their speed is halved and they can't make more than one melee or ranged attack.
MATT: Got it. Okay, cool.
TALIESIN: So I have resistance, so it's 20--
MATT: 12 points of necrotic damage.
TALIESIN: 12 points of necrotic.
MATT: And she heals up for half of that.
TALIESIN: Awesome.
MATT: So she regains 12 hit points.
TALIESIN: Six.
MATT: Hmm?
TALIESIN: She only got 12 points.
MATT: Oh, sorry, 12 becomes six, you're right.
TALIESIN: All right. Oh yeah, also if we had taken a short rest, I would've healed a little bit, wouldn't I have?
TRAVIS: We can use the map to our advantage. (laughs)
MATT: All right, does that finish your turn?
TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm going to do my short rest bullshit real quick while that's happening.
MATT: Orym, you're up.
LIAM: So in a split second here, they seem merged or does it seem like there's more Delilah floating in the space above Laudna? What does it appear like?
MATT: It appears like Laudna is encircled in a shadow swirl that is taking the shape of Delilah kind of around and through her.
LIAM: Okay, okay, so the miniature is, it seems like--
LAURA: Stop!
LIAM: -- top and bottom, but it's more--
MATT: It's more of a continued piece, yes.
LIAM: Okay. Okay. All right, I'm going to roll under Ashton's legs so that I am sort of by Imogen, so I don't leave her, Delaudna's melee. Other way, sorry.
MATT: Over here?
LIAM: Yeah.
MATT: You got it.
LIAM: And can I see, I want to make a perception check or whatever check it would be, what is Laudna's disposition in this moment?
TRAVIS: Yeah, good question.
MATT: Okay, make an insight check.
TRAVIS: Can we see her face while the tendrils of all this stuff are like--
LIAM: 10.
TRAVIS: -- coming up out of her?
MATT: What are you asking?
TRAVIS: Can we see Laudna's face?
MATT: Oh yeah, you can see like the jaw is like elongated and detached almost, like the massive sockets, just like this black empty spaces with purple flames burning out. The teeth and the gums are like stretched and separated. It's nightmarish.
TRAVIS: Cool.
LIAM: Okay, I am going to spin my blade around in my hands so that the hilt is out and I'm going to use it and try to slam her in the gut and make this a Goading Attack.
MATT: Okay.
LIAM: (heavy sigh)
TALIESIN: One more, we're going to find out--
TRAVIS: Shot, shot, shot, shot.
LIAM: That's real low. So that's 13 to hit.
MATT: 13 misses.
LIAM: Misses. Second attack. (chuckles) 13.
MATT: 13 misses.
LIAM: I think Orym is exhausted physically and mentally and hates doing any of this. Attacks again. That is an 18 to hit.
MATT: 18 misses.
LIAM: Misses. And then at the end, I'm going to keep my eyes on hers and Orym's going to say: Laudna, Laudna, please. And then I'm going to throw Seedling on the ground and throw my shield on the ground and just look at her and hope that she sees me.
MATT: Okay. You got it. End of your turn, she's going to use another Legendary Action.
TALIESIN: Does the Time make it since they can't make more than one melee or ranged attack or anything until the end of their turn?
MATT: Right, Legendary Actions aren't affected by that.
TALIESIN: Okay.
MATT: Just if they had a multi-attack function.
TALIESIN: All right.
LIAM: Hold on, rewind. There's a d4 on every one of those, wasn't there?
TALIESIN: Yep! Attacks and saves.
LIAM: So that was a 17, but the final was an 18, which is now a 22.
MATT: 22, Shield.
LIAM: Shield. Okay.
TALIESIN: Burn 'em.
LIAM: Same ending.
MATT: Yes.
LIAM: Shield and sword down.
MATT: All righty. She's going to now arc back at you again since you're the one who did the damage there. That's going to be a 20 to hit.
TALIESIN: That hits.
MATT: Okay. So this hit against you. [many dice thud]
LAURA: Ugh.
TALIESIN: Yeah, I hear it.
MATT: That's going to be 25 points of necrotic damage.
TALIESIN: All right.
MATT: She heals 13.
TALIESIN: Ow.
MATT: So the impact of the hammer that you smashed into her is now almost completely returned to what it was before. That's going to finish the action now. As the shadow is swirling around, the temperature of the room is getting colder by the second and you hear amongst like the horrible ghostly shrieks, like layered sounds of other voices, of shrieking spirits intermingled throughout. That finishes your turn, Orym?
LIAM: Would you allow me to use bonus action short rest here?
MATT: Or you mean a Second Wind?
LIAM: Second Wind is what I meant.
MATT: Yeah, you may. I'll let you do that. Dorian, you're up.
ROBBIE: Yeah, I'll see ya.
MATT: You're literally up on your base, too.
ROBBIE: Cool cool, oh good, yeah. I was about to say, I'm no longer a chair?
MATT: Yeah. (laughter)
ROBBIE: I see her visage pop up above and I just go (gasps), and I reach behind me and I just doink one little string on my mandolin and I use one of the slots in the mandolin to cast Invisibility on myself.
SAM: Ooh.
MATT: Ooh. Okay.
ROBBIE: I'm going to pop away and then I'm going to use-- How far away is it to that little cave right there with the light in it? What is it, like 20? To that little cave over there.
MATT: Oh, it's about 25 feet from you.
ROBBIE: Okay. 25 feet. I'm going to dash over to that real quick and then I'm going to take out the Bag of Holding and I'm going to put it in that little cave and just hastily cover it up with dirt, and I'm going to try to run back as quickly as I can to kind of where I came from, finish out my movement speed.
MATT: Okay, that'll get you only five more feet there. So 30 feet to get there and then five feet out back.
ROBBIE: I have 40.
MATT: Oh, 40, then you can get 10 more. Although, this is a rougher terrain with the rocks, so actually it would've been five, 10 to get over there. So same difference, it'll get you about there.
ROBBIE: Somewhere around there, okay, cool. Perfect.
MATT: That's where you are.
ROBBIE: Yeah, and then-- Ugh, I'm going to try something.
TRAVIS: Don't do it.
ROBBIE: I am. I'm going to intentionally drop my invisibility and then just reappear. And then for my bonus action (sighs) I want try to give Laudna-- Ah, this could backfire so bad, but I want to see if it works. I want to try to give Laudna Bardic Inspiration.
MATT: Okay, how do you inspire her?
ROBBIE: I sort of like, I know, I know, but I need to know if it's her or if it's them. I'm going to say: Ah, a new look, you are so beautiful! The skincare regimen is working perfectly. Just compliments, that's my love language, just compliments.
MATT: Okay, okay.
MARISHA: (laughs)
MATT: Love it.
ROBBIE: Yeah, so I don't know if this will work or not, but it would give Laudna or Delilah Bardic Inspiration.
MATT: All right. cool.
ROBBIE: A d10.
MATT: So put that d10 on the edge of your dice box.
LAURA: Great, that's good, that's good.
TRAVIS: If it falls-- [dice clatters] (screaming) (laughter)
ROBBIE: No! I got to know who gets it!
MARISHA: ♪ Let it go ♪
MATT: And we'll find out maybe some point soon.
ROBBIE: Okay.
MATT: Does that finish your turn?
ROBBIE: That ends my turn.
MATT: Awesome, fantastic. That brings us to Fearne, with Imogen on deck.
ASHLEY: Okay. I am going to, I'm at a 4th-level, so at a 5th-level I am going to cast Aura of Life.
MATT: Okay, Aura of Life.
ASHLEY: Which gives, if you're within 30 feet of me, every non-hostile creature in the aura has resistance to necrotic damage.
LAURA: Yay!
TALIESIN: Oh, thank god.
LAURA: Are we in within 30? Who's within 30 feet?
TALIESIN: You're going to have to move.
ASHLEY: So I'm going to--
LAURA: Maybe scooch in.
ASHLEY: I'm going to move in and get at least in eye shot of Laudna.
TRAVIS: Yeah, let's all bunch up.
ASHLEY: And Delilah.
MATT: This is--
ASHLEY: I want to make sure we're all in--
LAURA: That's 30 feet?
MATT: That'll get everybody and then 30 feet. If you want to move elsewhere, let me know, now's the moment.
ASHLEY: No, that's good.
MATT: But that Aura of Life is on you. I need you to roll d20 for me.
LAURA: Oh, shit.
SAM: Wild magic.
TALIESIN: Wild magic.
LAURA: Was that you? Did you just burp?
ASHLEY: Ooh. That's wasn't--
LAURA: Who was it?
MATT: It wasn't me.
TRAVIS: I farted.
ASHLEY: It wasn't me.
ROBBIE: (laughs)
ASHLEY: Eight?
MATT: Okay, you're fine.
LAURA: That's right, it's bad if you roll high?
MATT: 17 or higher.
ASHLEY: Okay, good. Okay, good.
MATT: All right.
ASHLEY: And I'm just going to look at Laudna and Delilah.
ROBBIE: I burped, but I aimed it that way.
LAURA: That was you. It was you.
TRAVIS: Timing seemed wrong.
MARISHA: You did.
ASHLEY: Delilah.
ROBBIE: It was afterwards.
MARISHA: Too fast.
ASHLEY: You're not getting out of there unless we help you. So you work with us or we kill you again.
LAURA: Can I jump on that since I'm next?
MATT: Sure, yeah.
LAURA: And maybe do this and say: Nobody hates you more than me, but you know we want the same thing right now, and I'd give anything to separate you from her.
MATT: As the shadow swirling is still congealing through the middle of this, you can see the flickering shape of her face, the eyes a lit yellowish within the center of this magical shadow that just drifts around her. The flickering power (energy whooshing) sending out a slow whirlwind around her, all of a sudden the attention of the shadow shifts to you. "I've been so patient and you all take far too long." Take the rest of your turn, if you'd like.
LAURA: (sighs) Shit, I was hoping I could roll a persuasion.
ASHLEY: I know, me too, me too, me too.
LAURA: (heavy sigh)
TRAVIS: ♪ It's my dick in a box! ♪
MATT: (laughs)
LAURA: Ooh! ♪ I don't want to fight her ♪ I'm going to cast Calm Emotions. (laughter)
ASHLEY: That's a cool idea.
TRAVIS: What level?
LAURA: Well, let's see what I got. I can do it at third. A bigger one doesn't make it more powerful, it just makes more people--
MATT: Correct.
LAURA: -- available.
ROBBIE: Is magic still weird?
LAURA: Magic's weird so I'm doing it at 3rd-level. That's what I got.
MATT: That's the standard 3rd-level? All right, go ahead.
LAURA: It's a standard 2nd-level.
MATT: I thought it was a 2nd-level spell.
LAURA: Yeah, so I'm bumping it up because I don't have any 2nds left, so it's a 3rd-level.
MATT: Gotcha. Okay. So roll a d20 for me.
LAURA: 15.
MATT: All right, you're fine. So for her save on that, it's a natural 20. (laughs)
LIAM: Gee.
LAURA: Shit.
MATT: As you release the spell, you can see the drifting waves of your psychic power whift outward like a slight breeze of sparkles and it just cuts down the middle and is separated and cast off. The slow-moving necrotic wind just carving through it in an instant. Do you want to move or stay put?
LAURA: She going to attack me if I move away.
MATT: Well, she's already used her reaction to cast Shield.
LAURA: I move away.
MATT: (laughs) Where do you want to move?
LAURA: Oh right. Oh fuck. I'm going to move that way towards the orb. Ding dong ding, yeah.
MATT: There?
LAURA: That's good.
MATT: All right. So you put up over there. At the end of your turn, Delilah's going to use her last Legendary Action to Shadow Step.
TALIESIN: I don't get an opportunity attack.
MATT: You do not.
LAURA: Oh, is she going to-- Is she going to try to get away from us with?
MATT: She just went 30 feet off to the top of there. (hissing growl)
LAURA: No.
MATT: All right, that finishing that go, now it's Essek's turn. Essek, seeing the throes of combat here goes, "Well, I will follow your lead, but don't want to hurt your friend. I certainly don't trust that." And he's going to cast-- He's going to cast Hold Monster.
TALIESIN: Mmm.
ASHLEY: Ooh.
TRAVIS: Hold Monster is a bitch.
MARISHA: (laughs)
MATT: She has advantage on the save.
TRAVIS: Does anybody have Hold Bitches?
MATT: Okay, that--
LAURA: Hold Bitch.
MATT: -- is going to be 20, that's enough.
LIAM: That spell doesn't exist.
MATT: Low rolls, but still rolled 20 high enough, so--
TRAVIS and MARISHA: Pretty cool.
MATT: The spell dissipates, no effect. Essek's like, "Ah, Scheisse." And floats this way.
TALIESIN: It's not an attack spell, is it?
MATT: Hmm?
TALIESIN: That spell is not an attack roll, is it? It's a save.
MATT: It's a save. However, he does still have to roll in the wild table. With a five, he's fine.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: All right, Essek's like, "I'll follow your lead. If we need to take her down, let me know." And he's going to keep his hands out as he glides backward.
TALIESIN: Just unconscious.
MATT: "Just unconscious, understood." That finishes Essek's go. With that, it is Braius' turn, with Chetney on deck.
ASHLEY: Let's go Braius. Let's go Braius.
SAM: She's far away now, I can't do anything. I hit things.
TRAVIS: Clip clop, clip clop. (laughter)
SAM: Unsure of what's going on, because I don't know these people, and still frustrated that Ludinus got away, I did notice that Ludinus seemed to create this or inspire this creature so that's good enough for me. I don't like it. I'm going to attack.
MATT: What's your movement?
SAM: 30 feet, so I'll get--
MATT: Five, 10, 15, 20--
SAM: -- close.
MATT: -- 25, 30 gets you about there.
LIAM: Ow!
SAM: Yeah. (laughter)
SAM: Watch the horns.
ASHLEY: I was like what happened? It was so real.
MARISHA: I know!
SAM: Watch the horns. I can't hit, so I will shoot a Sacred Flame at it. I guess I'll whip around my flail and then--
ASHLEY: Your balls.
SAM: My balls.
TALIESIN: There we are.
SAM: And then from it comes a--
LAURA: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Yep.
SAM: From the ball, sort of ejects a hot, sort of--
TRAVIS: Frothy.
SAM: -- stream.
MATT: So glad you made a paladin.
SAM: -- right at-- (laughter)
SAM: Right at the monster's chest--
ASHLEY: What color is it?
SAM: -- and neck. (groaning)
MATT: My god. I've missed you, Sam. Now Sacred Flame, it's a saving throw on the dexterity.
SAM: Dex 17.
MATT: All right. That's going to be--
ASHLEY: You're monochrome, so what color is the--
MATT: It's going to be a 10.
SAM: Let's say that it's just--
LAURA: With like white flakes.
SAM: It's pure black.
MATT: Go ahead and roll damage.
ASHLEY: Pure black, okay.
SAM: Oh wait, it worked?
MATT: It worked, yeah.
SAM: Oh shit. Uh, uh, fuck. That's, I don't know, 3d8.
LIAM: Hit your target.
SAM: 3d8.
LAURA: I have other things I should have done!
ASHLEY: Do you need more?
SAM: No, I got it. Okay, that is 11 points of damage.
MATT: You got it.
SAM: Wait, can I do Divine--?
MATT: Not on that spell. It's only on attacks.
SAM: Okay, and then bonus action, ooh, boy. What do I do with that?
LAURA: Excuse me.
TALIESIN: New toys.
SAM: "-- one melee attack with your horns." No, I can't do that. Okay, I will then, I will inspire the blue one with Bardic Inspiration.
MATT: Okay.
SAM: That's within 60 feet or 30?
ROBBIE: 60.
SAM: It's been so long.
MATT: How do you inspire?
SAM: I say: Don't sell yourself short. Whatever you've been doing is working, too. A chiseled jawline, a symmetric face. You're a hottie. (laughter)
ROBBIE: I feel great! (laughter)
MATT: Take your d6.
ROBBIE: Yeah!
TALIESIN: This game has taken a turn.
ROBBIE: Is it six?
SAM: It's always six, yeah. I'm not as powerful a bard as you. (laughter)
MATT: Does that finish your turn, Braius?
SAM: The rest of my turn I would like to just say, in a menacing way--
MATT: Yes?
SAM: Moo. (laughter)
MATT: Perfect.
LAURA: You don't have a cow face, I'm confused.
MATT: Chetney, you're up.
SAM: You'll see it later.
TRAVIS: Can I use my bonus action to click my Boots of Speed, which will make my walking speed 80 feet, and then can I arc around behind Fearne and Imogen, and moving around whatever the central dais, but is that what Ludinus was looking at originally?
MATT: Correct. He was on this side when he pulled the device free.
TRAVIS: And just as I'm passing it, can I give it a once-over? Is there anything of worth or note other than just complete ruined mechanical leftovers?
MATT: Make a perception check.
TRAVIS: Okay. 15, 16, 17, 17.
MATT: 17. It looks like everything was pouring into this orb that is now an empty space that he had removed from it. There are things in here that look quite technologically advanced and covered in now-darkened runes, but it seemed like everything was funneling into this device that is now gone.
TRAVIS: Got it. Can I continue that 80 feet arc and just come over here?
MATT: Yep.
TRAVIS: Staying tiny behind that little thing. And I will-- (laughs nervously) Can I take out the Harp of Valor?
ASHLEY: Oh!
MATT: Yes, you may.
ROBBIE: Oh, yeah!
TRAVIS: (ringing harp strum) I'm going to pluck three strings and send three Magic Missiles towards Delaudna.
ASHLEY: Cool.
MATT: All right.
LAURA: ♪ Hey there, Delilah ♪
TRAVIS: I guess it's all at the same level. Yeah, it's just the same thing.
LIAM: Matt, did she semi like bamf to where she went or did she--
LAURA: Yeah, she shadow skipped.
MATT: The shadow went and (whoosh).
TALIESIN: She's at half speed right now anyway.
MATT: Yeah, Shadow Step specifically is what the ability is.
TRAVIS: Do you roll for Magic Missile to see if it takes off?
MATT: No, it just auto hits. 1d4 plus one per. So that's 3d4 plus three.
TRAVIS: Thank you. This is exciting, you guys. I should have had that earlier, 3d--
MATT: Laudna, you want to start reading that since your turn's coming up.
LAURA: Ah!
LIAM: Oh.
TALIESIN: Oh boy.
LIAM: You're in control now.
TRAVIS: 11 points of damage. (several impacts)
ROBBIE: I did, I just saw the title and I couldn't see any more.
MATT: (missiles whooshing)
ASHLEY: You're the man now, dog.
MATT: Off to the side and you see the Laudna weird corpse wraith is screaming and like she looks over in the direction as the shadow keeps focused on the rest of the group and then she looks back as the shadow looks over in your direction and they're both having different glances in the room.
ASHLEY: Cool.
MATT: Does that finish your turn?
TRAVIS: Yeah, that's going to be it.
MATT: All right. So Laudna you're up first. I need you to roll a wisdom saving throw for me, please.
ASHLEY: Oh my god.
MARISHA: Okay, okay. You should have given this to me earlier.
TALIESIN: Wait, wait, okay.
LAURA: Wait, now you can use your Bardic.
MARISHA: I also, so you gave us advantage on wisdom saves, right? Is that still holding?
ROBBIE: Oh god.
MATT: No, that's expired at the time.
ROBBIE: Yeah, I think that should be expired by now.
LAURA: But you do have Bardic Inspiration to help with this.
LIAM: Kill us all.
LAURA: There's Bardic Inspiration.
MARISHA: Okay.
TRAVIS: ♪ Kill us all ♪ ♪ Superstar ♪
SAM: How far away from her?
MATT: Like 15, 20 feet.
TRAVIS: I don't know.
LIAM: It's the Jesus story I know.
MARISHA: So this is, these actions are all I can do?
TRAVIS: It's a retelling.
MATT: These are actions you can take if you manage to succeed on your save. Go ahead and make a wisdom save first.
MARISHA: But, in addition to other actions?
MATT: No, you can choose those or take an action. Like those are added to your repertoire of actions you can take--
MARISHA: They're added? That's what I'm asking.
MATT: Yeah.
LAURA: What'd you roll? What'd you roll?
MARISHA: Yeah, that's a success. I rolled a natural 17 plus eight.
TRAVIS: Isn't that a 19?
MARISHA: 17 without the inspiration.
LAURA: How do you know?
MARISHA: I don't need it.
MATT: Great, so you get to make a turn.
ASHLEY: So you can make a turn if you pass, okay.
LAURA: I see, I see, I see.
ROBBIE: Ah, make a turn!
MATT: You will yourself into the body. From the sunken place, you force your way out into your form, which is still transformed and you're barely holding on for just a moment of time.
ASHLEY: Come on. Come on.
MARISHA: Okay. Okay.
ASHLEY: ♪ La di da di da ♪
MATT: You can use any of your powers that you want to. Or you can take either of those actions in the card.
MARISHA: Okay, I can take a full turn.
MATT: Mm-hmm, so you can move, bonus action, and action.
MARISHA: Okay. You see for a second Laudna break free from the visage that is Delilah. And I just very gently take a few steps forward and turn around and look up at Delilah, very calmly.
MATT: Okay.
MARISHA: And then I say: Please, we both just want peace. Either work with me or it's time for you to go. And I will use-- I will use-- shit. (laughter)
MARISHA: Do we want-- I will use Wrestle from Within.
SAM: Ooh.
ASHLEY: What the heck is that?
MARISHA: Until the end of Delilah's next turn, all attack rolls against her have advantage.
ASHLEY: Ooh!
LAURA: Oh!
ROBBIE: Okay.
TRAVIS: Whoa.
SAM: How come all of your spells are complete sentences?
MARISHA: Well, this is-- He just handed me this! I don't know.
MATT: (laughs)
MARISHA: I then am going to quicken a spell because this is just an action.
MATT: Correct.
MARISHA: So I'm going to quicken a spell. I'm going to quicken--
LAURA: I'm going to--
MARISHA: I'm going to quicken Phantasmal Force. Delilah and I have shared a brain for an incredibly long time. I'm going to, you see my, or technically only she sees this shimmer fall from top to bottom and I transform into Sylas.
LAURA: (gasps)
ASHLEY: Whoa, shit.
MARISHA: And I'm going to say: Please, my darling, stop this. Come be with me.
MATT: What's the save on the spell? Wisdom?
MARISHA: Yeah-- intellect.
MATT: Intellect. Oh, good thing--
TRAVIS: It's a deep move.
MATT: That's her best saving throw.
TRAVIS: It's a deep move.
MATT: 25.
MARISHA: Okay.
SAM: Oh! (laughter)
TRAVIS: But the color. (clapping)
MATT: Sorry, sorry, 28. (oohing)
TRAVIS: Colors.
MATT: So as she's looking down at you, formed in shadow, listening to the beginning of your sentence for a minute and you see there's a moment of recognition. And then once that form takes place, her expression goes extremely dark.
TRAVIS: Ooh.
MATT: "How dare you mock him, mock me. You're mine!"
MARISHA: (yelps)
MATT: So take the rest of your turn if you want. You can, which you have a movement.
MARISHA: Well, I used Wrestle from Within.
LAURA: You broke away from her?
MATT: No, no, no, but you can move them.
LAURA: Ah. Oh.
MARISHA: I used Wrestle from Within.
MATT: Correct, you used your bonus action to cast the spell and you can move. (laughter)
MARISHA: Okay. I am going to-- Okay, I'm fighting her control so I'm going to turn and scramble and I turn to Braius and Ashton and Orym and my entire party standing behind me and you see me turn to everybody and just reach out and I'm going to dart bringing Delilah with me back into the center of them, and right before I get swallowed again, I'm going to just say: Kill her!
MATT: Right here?
MARISHA: That's it.
LAURA: Oh shit! Okay.
ASHLEY: Okay.
SAM: As they go past, any--
MATT: Still in your melee range. And it was forced movement, so you wouldn't get running by.
ASHLEY: She had a choice. She had a fucking choice.
MATT: All right, that's your turn.
ASHLEY: We've given her chances.
LAURA: Plenty of chances.
MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.
LAURA: Oh no, no, cause the foggies.
TRAVIS: What?
MATT: The temperature lowers--
SAM: I'm so dumb.
TALIESIN: Shit.
MATT: -- within the chamber.
SAM: It should have been a white streak.
LAURA: It should have been a white streak. I don't know what you were thinking.
SAM: I didn't understand what you guys were saying.
ASHLEY: Oh, the ejection?
SAM: Yes.
ASHLEY: From your--
TRAVIS: The horn of Helm Hammerhand will roar in the deep!
LAURA: White kind of translucent.
LIAM: Milky white.
SAM: Describe it more.
ASHLEY: Like an Alfredo sauce.
ROBBIE and LAURA: Alfredo sauce? (laughter)
TALIESIN: Of the damned!
LIAM: Is it standard viscousness, or--?
ASHLEY: That was a little much.
ROBBIE: If you've got Alfredo sauce, you've got problems.
TALIESIN: Chunky, smooth?
MATT: And so--
ASHLEY: It's the first.
MATT: As Delilah takes her turn, furious in the sense of this, she's going to snap control from you. You're still Wrestling from Within. You can see the physical body is fighting her, but she's still remaining focused. She's going to as an action, she's going to cast a Blade of Disaster.
SAM: What?
MATT: You watch as she raises her hand up in the air and she carves a line through the middle of nothing. As a black line carves open, it opens up and something black spills out onto the ground, and from it rises a black blade that is hooked--
SAM: Cool.
MATT: -- wrapped in bandages.
SAM: Cool.
MATT: And just floats in the air. It has a dark, ominous ebony skin.
ASHLEY: What is that?
TRAVIS: No fucking way, Matt Mercer. No fucking way.
MARISHA: That's exactly what it is, it's totally Craven Edge!
TRAVIS: It's not fucking Craven Edge! (yelling)
TRAVIS: What!? Summoned from the dimension we sealed it away in? (shrieks)
MARISHA: We threw it into a dimension.
MATT: She's briefly summoned it here.
TRAVIS: That was the Dread Emperor dimension, wasn't it?
MARISHA: Yeah, it was.
ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
MATT: And is going to make--
TRAVIS: (growls) Yeah!
MATT: Can only make one attack because of your ability, against you.
LIAM: You're welcome.
LAURA: That's good.
MATT: That's going to be--
MARISHA: Did I do this?
MATT: (laughs) 24 to hit.
MARISHA: Did I do this? Am I the problem?
LIAM: Yes, that will hit.
TALIESIN: Just double checking. Yeah.
TRAVIS: That was the cameo I was not expecting.
MATT: 24 to hit.
LIAM: Yes.
MATT: All right, you take--
TRAVIS: (groans)
ROBBIE: What was that sound?
TALIESIN: That's not good.
MATT: You take 44 points of force damage.
ROBBIE: Wow.
TALIESIN: Down.
TRAVIS: This blade is bad.
SAM: Wait.
LIAM: Orym's down.
SAM: Wait, that--
TRAVIS: (shouts) You're down!
ROBBIE: What!
ASHLEY: Wait, wait.
LAURA: We don't heal?
TALIESIN: Didn't you heal during your short rest?
ASHLEY: No, no, are you even--
LIAM: I used on my hit dice on the last short rest.
LAURA: On the previous?
ASHLEY: Are you within 30 feet?
LIAM: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Of me?
LIAM: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Then you go to, you go to--
LIAM: To heaven? (laughter)
MATT: You go to heaven.
TALIESIN: It gets halved, right?
LIAM: Where do I go?
ASHLEY: "Your hit point maximum can't be reduced--" Oh. "In addition, a non-hostile living creature regains one hit point when it starts its turn in the aura with zero hit points." Okay.
SAM: Was that a spell?
ASHLEY: You start your next turn with one hit point.
MATT: That was.
LIAM: Okay.
SAM: Was that spell damage?
LIAM: I'm unconscious.
MATT: It was not a damaging spell. It summoned something and then it damaged with its attack.
SAM: But it wasn't spell damage, okay.
ASHLEY: Okay, wait.
TALIESIN: Double checking, what kind of damage was that?
MATT: Force.
TALIESIN: Oh, it was force damage. Fuck.
TRAVIS: Holy shit, Matt, what the fuck?
MATT: That was her action.
LAURA: Oh my god.
TRAVIS: Stop!
MATT: With her bonus action--
TRAVIS: No, no.
MATT: -- she's going to go ahead and as the sword's there just carves through Orym and Orym falls to the ground. "I'll pluck each of your lives and feed your souls to my destined essence. We have great things ahead of us, Laudna." As you're fighting within, she raises her hands up and, from the nearby rubble, rocks (scraping) shift.
SAM: Oh shit.
MATT: You watch as skeletal hands (rocky scraping)--
LAURA: Oh no.
TRAVIS: No.
MATT: -- rise and pull up. Spirits begin to emerge. She summons undead in the space around her.
TRAVIS: No clerics. No clerics. (laughs) I got no clerics.
ROBBIE: Skeletons.
LIAM: Orym being cleaved by Craven Edge was not on my bingo card.
TRAVIS: No. (laughter)
TRAVIS: No. Nope.
MATT: This'll be--
MARISHA: Craven Edge got a cameo before Grog did. (laughter)
TRAVIS: Well, one of these has more personality than the other one.
MARISHA: Yep. (laughter)
ASHLEY: Is it time--
TRAVIS: One is smarter than the other.
MATT: All right.
LAURA: It's time.
LIAM: This is the moment.
MATT: Finishing--
TALIESIN: Whatever you got, yeah, smoke 'em if you got 'em.
MATT: Finishing Delilah's turn, now the undead go. That's going to be two attacks on you, Fearne.
TALIESIN: Are you within 10 feet of me? Oh no, it doesn't matter.
MATT: 21 to hit.
ASHLEY: That hits.
MATT: Okay. The second one is a natural one.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: That's one of them.
ASHLEY: Okay. But I also have resistance to necrotic.
MATT: Right, so you take, it's bad-- three slashing damage. That hit, didn't it?
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: The second one's going to take two attacks on you. That's going to be a six to hit.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: That's going to be a 17 to hit.
ASHLEY: That just hits.
MATT: That just hits. The other one does eight points of slashing damage to you.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: The one that's moved behind you, Braius, is going to attack you with two attacks. That's going to be a 19 to hit.
SAM: No.
MATT: That's going to be a six to hit.
SAM: No.
MATT: All righty.
TRAVIS: 19 doesn't hit?
SAM: No.
TRAVIS: You big dick motherfucker.
MATT: Both of these specters that have swarmed in, one's going after Essek and is going to attempt to Life Drain him. That's going to be a 12, which misses. The one that's behind you, Imogen. It's going to attack you for, it's another 12. Both of them, I believe, miss. 12 misses your AC. So the undead have risen, and not a great opening round. That finishes their go, that finishes Delilah's turn. Top of the round, Ashton, you are up.
TALIESIN: Motherfucker. (groans)
MARISHA: I've wanted to raise skeletons this whole game. But now she's doing it. (laughter)
ASHLEY: What a bitch!
MATT: It's kind of what she does, to be fair.
MARISHA: Yeah, I know!
ROBBIE: She's taking the joy away.
MARISHA: Yeah, I know.
LAURA: You brought a boat to life.
MARISHA: I did bring a boat to life.
MATT: Good old Boaty.
TALIESIN: Okay. Yeah, it's not quite time for that particular crazy, although, nope, not yet.
LAURA: So those aren't, they're like spirit bombs. They're not like actual skeletons. Oh, no, those aren't skeletons.
MATT: There are three skeletons on the board and two specters.
LAURA: Okay, so I have this.
TALIESIN: I'm well within 30 feet for your necrotic damage issues, right? Yeah, I'm within 30 feet of Fearne.
MATT: For now, yeah.
TALIESIN: Yeah, that's fair.
MATT: Well, Fearne, you did take damage. So go ahead and roll-- You took damage twice, I believe.
ASHLEY: Yes.
MATT: So roll two concentration checks for me.
TRAVIS: I'll just figure out how to--
TALIESIN: Yeah, that'll change my reality, because I'm debating changing form or not, but that eats my turn.
ASHLEY: 10 and 14.
MATT: 10 and 14, both fine.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: You maintain your concentration.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay.
TALIESIN: Okay. I'm--
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: Yeah, cool. There we go. A little more over the top there.
TALIESIN: I'm going to sidestep a little bit into-- God, anything I do is going to take everybody out of my fucking save range. That's okay. I'm going to take a step forward towards Delilah and forward and to the left, just so I'm staying away from Craven.
MATT: Left here?
TALIESIN: Yep.
SAM: Don't cut them down.
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN: I'm going to take, and I believe I have advantage on this attack.
MATT: You do, because she's currently messing with her.
TALIESIN: So I'm taking that advantage hit.
MARISHA: But what are they?
SAM: They're specters.
TALIESIN: That's like a 20--
MARISHA: Did you bring that?
SAM: No, they're bad.
TALIESIN: -- five to hit.
MARISHA: I did? Oh.
SAM: Yeah.
MATT: What's that?
TALIESIN: 25 to hit.
MATT: 25 does hit.
TALIESIN: I'm re-rolling.
LAURA: Oh my gosh.
TALIESIN: Six, seven, eight, nine.
ASHLEY: Do you have a thing for this?
TALIESIN: That's--
LAURA: I forgot. I hadn't used it yet.
TALIESIN: 21. 21 points of damage.
MATT: 21 points of damage, you got it.
TALIESIN: Then second hit, natural 20.
TRAVIS: Let's go. (cheering)
ASHLEY: Let's go.
TALIESIN: So--
MARISHA: You're doing advantage on all these attacks, correct?
TALIESIN: Oh yeah.
MARISHA: Okay.
TALIESIN: That was a natural 20 and a one, phenomenally.
MARISHA: Amazing.
TALIESIN: So I get, where's my critical? Add an extra two damage dice and all damage dice are doubled and all attack rolls against this creature mre ade with advantage until the start of my next turn. So.
MATT: Great.
TALIESIN: That's going along the same as it was. Here we go.
MATT: Big damage.
TALIESIN: I get to reroll anything that's a one or a two, because reasons. All right.
MATT: Much better.
TALIESIN: Yeah. That's 10, 15, 18 times two is--
MATT: 36.
TALIESIN: 36 plus 12. So that's a 46, 47, 48 points of damage.
MATT: 48 points of damage. Dang.
TALIESIN: (whoosh)
MATT: (whack) One heavy hit. You watch as shadow and blood and bone go flying back from the impact. As you pull your hammer back you can see the entire shoulder, Laudna's left shoulder is broken out and is barely holding on.
MARISHA: It's all right, it happens.
SAM: Wait, we're trying to kill your friend?
TALIESIN: We're trying to knock her unconscious, and I'm--
LAURA: We are?
TALIESIN: Well, I'm trying to hit Delilah into Delilah fucking--
SAM: Are we?
LAURA: I thought we were trying to hit Delilah.
TALIESIN: Yeah, which I assume is what's happening.
LIAM: But they're interwoven.
MATT: They're interwoven.
TALIESIN: Yeah, so.
LIAM: It's not like--
MATT: I'll say the hammer strikes you missed before were going through her shadow form with no impact, and so now you have to go for Laudna.
TALIESIN: Yeah, it's just how it is, and just double checking because actions are weird and I don't remember. Shit, fuck, piss, bugger. I think that's everything I have right now. I'm just assuming I'm-- Yeah, your turn's going to suck. I'm good.
MATT: That finishes your turn?
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: All right, at the end of your turn, she's going to legendary action to Wraith Claw you.
TALIESIN: Oh shit.
MATT: That's going to be 26 to hit.
TALIESIN: That does not hit. I am absolutely kidding, that hits real hard.
MATT: (laughs) You take--
TALIESIN: Yep.
MATT: Not the greatest roll. That'll be 22 points of necrotic damage, which you're--
TALIESIN: Halve.
MATT: -- halved, so it's 12 to you.
TALIESIN: 12 or 11?
SAM: 11.
TALIESIN: 11. 22 and a half is 11.
MATT: Yeah, you're right.
TALIESIN: Thank you.
MATT: She moves up a little bit there. Okay. Finishes your go. Orym, it's the beginning of his turn he gains a hit point?
TALIESIN: Yes, I believe so.
MATT: For your aura?
SAM: Yes.
MATT: At the top of the turn?
ASHLEY: Yes. Beginning of the turn.
MATT: So you come to consciousness, (groans) one hit point, you're still on the ground prone and you hear the, (ghastly groaning), the shifting of stone, the broken shattered shoulder of Laudna's wraith form is like, (crackly creaking) popping back into place.
LIAM: Holy shit, I have no idea what to do. I will stand--
LAURA: She told us to attack her.
LIAM: (sighs) I will--
TALIESIN: You got your Second Wind back.
LIAM: -- drag my shield up. I did hear that before I got knocked out. Drag my shield and hand sword up as I stand. As Orym stands, little vines and flowers begin to sprout out of his neck and back and out of his hair, and I cast Hex on-- is Craven Edge a magical effect or a being that's here?
MATT: It looks like she's summoned it from the ether. You're uncertain, like, the actual nature of it. You're not really a well-learned individual when it comes to odd, magical summonings.
LIAM: No idea.
MATT: Yeah.
LIAM: I'm going to Hex Laudna and I'm going to put her at disadvantage for-- Oh jeez, I honestly, Liam and Orym don't know what to do. Let's put her at disadvantage for intelligence to knock her off her game for her main bag. Then I'm going to--
MARISHA: Her intelligence checks.
MATT: You Hexed her?
LIAM: Yeah.
LAURA: Hexed Delilah.
LIAM: Delilah. I'm going to start, I'm going to start going for non-lethal, I'm going to start battering Laudna. I'm going to try to knock her out and I'm going to do it in an insulting way as possible and make it a Goading Attack. That is a 26 to hit.
MATT: That hits.
LIAM: So Goading Attack--
SAM: (goat bleating)
LIAM: -- five and six is, is it 11 plus the d10s? Boy, this is really fucking me up. That is 18 of non-lethal damage.
MATT: You got it.
LIAM: She has to beat-- God, I should have done what I'm hitting her with, a wisdom.
MATT: Wisdom?
LIAM: Versus--
MATT: Okay, that would be 23.
LIAM: Yeah, that--
TALIESIN: Oh, remember you had a d4 in the attack because you're within 10 feet of me, I believe.
MATT: Correct.
LIAM: So, that also to the damage?
MATT: No, just attacks.
TALIESIN: Sorry.
LIAM: Okay, okay, so let's keep going. And I'm apologizing: Laudna, please forgive me. You suffered enough, you've been hurt enough. Please, step away from it. That's a 25 to hit.
MATT: 25 to hit.
LIAM: Another Goading Attack. I really should have made it--
TALIESIN: Oh, also everything's with advantage, too.
LIAM: My attacks are at advantage?
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MARISHA: Everything's with advantage.
LIAM: So let's see if I got--
LAURA: Everything's with advantage?
LIAM: I'm going to roll twice to see if I got a d20 and I didn't on any of them, but they both hit, so 11 plus--
MATT: 25 on the wisdom saving throw.
LIAM: Okay, on the second wisdom saving throw?
MATT: Yeah.
LIAM: Okay. That is 15 points of damage.
MATT: 15 points of damage.
LIAM: Okay. Second attack is only, oh, d4 on it.
MATT: Correct.
LIAM: So 13 plus two is a 20.
MATT: 20 hits.
LIAM: 20 hits. Goading Attack. 12 plus, that's 16 points of damage.
MATT: Another 25 on the wisdom save.
LIAM: Yep.
LAURA: Jeez.
MATT: So how much damage, that was?
LIAM: 16.
MATT: 16, got it. All righty.
LIAM: Three. Then I'm going to spin around and I'm going to Action Surge and I'm going to attack Craven Edge.
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: What a sentence!
MARISHA: What a sentence.
TRAVIS: I mean, (laughs) that hasn't been said--
LIAM: That's 22 to hit.
TRAVIS: -- at this table in years.
MATT: The first hit, (whoosh) goes through it like it's immaterial.
LIAM: Immaterial?
MATT: Correct.
TRAVIS: Oh.
MATT: Which confirms to you that whatever this weapon is, it is magically bound here, likely not as a physical object but a manifestation of something magically.
LIAM: Laudna takes an-- Well, depends, I forgot about hex. That's an additional five points of necrotic damage, which probably doesn't do anything.
MATT: It does nothing.
LIAM: Okay.
ASHLEY: Laudna's taking this damage, too?
SAM: Mm-hmm.
LAURA: Yeah.
LIAM: Yeah, but since I Action Surge, I'm going to, non-lethally, I'm going to continue to try to swat Laudna in the head. That is a 27 to hit.
MATT: 27 hits.
MARISHA: I'm assuming I'm not supposed to be keeping track--
MATT: No, no.
MARISHA: -- of hit points. Right?
MATT: She has control of the body and I'm keeping tabs of the Delilah body at the moment.
MARISHA: Okay.
LIAM: It's 11 points.
MATT: Which you share.
LIAM: 11 points of damage--
MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
LIAM: -- only because I'm not, I've learned my lesson, I'm not doing anything. Then last is a 17 plus. Sorry, everybody.
TALIESIN: No, no, no, you're doing--
LIAM: 20.
MATT: 20 hits.
LIAM: 20 hits. Okay. Three plus, that's nine points of non-lethal damage.
MATT: You got it.
LIAM: I'm just using the flat of the blade and the hilt to bludgeon my friend to try to knock her out.
MATT: All right. After all the hits, (light impacts) you can see the body fighting and the horrible visage of Laudna, like the screaming is somewhat diminished after the fights. You can see that little spark of life behind the eyes before the shadow almost reaches down and seems to take that light and blind her to the vision of her friend. Does that finish your turn?
LIAM: Yeah, and Orym, again, one hit point, just wavering in front of her.
MATT: End of your turn, going to use a legendary action to attack you with Wraith Claw. That's going to be a 20, 21.
LIAM: For sure. So, Orym's down.
MATT: Okay.
SAM: Is that a-- That's a melee attack?
MATT: It's a melee attack, yeah.
ASHLEY: But you're still within 30 feet of me? So his next turn he would come back with one point?
LAURA: Yeah, as long as you don't break your concentration,
ASHLEY: As long as I don't break my concentration. Okay.
MATT: So that is going to be, 37.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
MATT: 10. 19 points of necrotic damage to you
LIAM: Down.
MATT: She heals up from that a little bit.
TALIESIN: Wait, it would be half necrotic anyway because you're within the 30 feet, so that 19--
MATT: You are actually, you're right.
ASHLEY: Resistance, yeah.
LIAM: Gets less.
TALIESIN: She's getting less.
MATT: So she heals less.
LAURA: Wouldn't she be able to take less necrotic if he only had one hit point to begin with?
MATT: It's the amount of damage taken or dealt. It works in your guys' favor when you do it.
LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
LIAM: It's just math.
MATT: All right, so with that--
LIAM: Orym down.
MATT: One massive (sizzling whoosh) shadow arc. He watches as Laudna's arm rakes upward like a whole hand claw of blades with a splash of shadow like a liquid spray of blood that mingles with the red as Orym (crackling thump) falls back on the ground unconscious.
LIAM: Tries to hold her eyes until he's unconscious.
MATT: Oh. Fearne, you're up, with Imogen-- I'm sorry, Dorian's up, and then it's Fearne.
ROBBIE: Yeah, I guess in that six seconds, I--
MARISHA: Why is it always me and you, man? Why is it always me and you? All right.
ROBBIE: Yeah, I saw Orym pop up to life, right, like out of nowhere. These desperate swings, you know, swinging through a blade and then he's back down immediately. So my first instinct is just to sprint toward him. Can I get there with 40 feet? Can I get--
MATT: With 40 feet?
ROBBIE: Mm-hmm.
MATT: Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, will get you either here or in contact with Delilah. Which would you prefer?
ROBBIE: But not close enough to touch him.
MATT: Yeah, just close enough to touch him there.
ROBBIE: Oh, okay.
MATT: Yeah, you have just enough movement. It cost 10 to get over that cluster of stones.
ROBBIE: Okay.
MATT: So you're just getting to him.
ROBBIE: Yeah.
MATT: But if you want to be closest to Delilah.
ROBBIE: I want to be over, I'm running toward Orym. Yeah.
MATT: Right. Okay, to right there.
ROBBIE: Yeah. So I think, as he's running he pulls out his mandolin again. It's just this desperation. He runs and he slides under the blade as he looks and the only thing I can do, I just put my hand on him and I'll cast Cure Wounds.
TRAVIS: Yo, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
MATT: What level are you casting it?
ROBBIE: Yeah, I use my mandolin. So it says here, I add plus 3d8 for my spell modifier. So it says I'm supposed to use 3d8 plus three.
MATT: Yeah, so 3d8 plus three.
ROBBIE: Okay. All right.
SAM: Wow, that's good.
ROBBIE: Mandolin's pretty good.
TRAVIS: It's a good instrument.
ROBBIE: Hey, that's pretty good. 17, three, 20, 20 points of healing.
MATT: So you can immediately pop back to consciousness and amongst the flickering shadow in this low lit space, the face you see above you is Dorian with the look of what in your face?
ROBBIE: We need you. Are you back?
LIAM: (gasping) That's what I do.
ROBBIE: Come on, then. I'm going to slap him on the cheek lovingly and then boost him up to standing and then stand up behind him.
LIAM: Okay. Grip your forearm. That's it, I don't have anything to do.
ROBBIE: Yeah.
LIAM: Thank you.
MATT: All right, finishing your go, Fearne, you're up, with Imogen on deck.
ASHLEY: Okay.
ROBBIE: We're in trouble.
TALIESIN: Yeah, we're in trouble.
ROBBIE: We're in trouble.
ASHLEY: All right.
TRAVIS: Help, it's again.
TALIESIN: Man, still true.
ASHLEY: Ugh, I don't want-- Okay. All right. We can bring Laudna back. So, okay. I am going to--
MATT: Actually, you know what, before your turn, she's going to use her last legendary action.
TRAVIS: This is what happens when you don't go fast enough.
MATT: She's going to Shadow Step.
ASHLEY: I know, I'm sorry.
ROBBIE: He thought of something.
TALIESIN: Again?
ROBBIE: Oh no.
SAM: I want to hit it.
LAURA: Yeah, she knows that.
TALIESIN: I want to wreck it.
MATT: (laughs)
LAURA: He knows that.
MATT: Travis feels your pain. (laughs)
TRAVIS: (laughs) Yeah. (like Grog) Aw!
ASHLEY: Yeah.
MATT: What you got, Fearne?
ASHLEY: Okay, so even though she's over there, I think I can still reach her at 60 feet.
MATT: Oh yeah.
ASHLEY: For a Flame Strike.
MATT: Oh yeah, you can definitely do that.
TALIESIN: Oh, shit. God, I keep thinking of things I should've done. Goddamn it.
ASHLEY: So it's--
TRAVIS: Column of fire.
TALIESIN: Next time.
ASHLEY: Each creature in a 10-foot radius, which if she's over there, nobody else gets that 10-foot radius?
SAM: Maybe you could hit the specter if you--
SAM: Maybe?
ASHLEY: I don't want to get Imogen.
SAM: I don't know.
MATT: You can make the column here.
ASHLEY: Yeah, let's do that.
MATT: Okay.
ASHLEY: Let's do that. It's a 40-foot high cylinder and it's 4d6 fire damage and 4d6 radiant damage on a failed save.
TALIESIN: Hot damn.
MATT: Correct.
TRAVIS: That's such a good--
ASHLEY: So--
MATT: (flames erupt) This column-- Describe to me the color and the imagery of this Flame Strike's pillar just bursting out of the ground to consume her.
ASHLEY: Ooh, it is just, the base of it is just that really hot blue flame.
LAURA: Hot blue.
ASHLEY: Hot blue, hot blue. And then just--
LAURA: (laughs)
MARISHA: ♪ Hot blue ♪
ASHLEY: It's just a dancing fire around it. Just swirling.
MATT: It swirls up like a vibrant cerulean flame tornado that just engulfs the space around it. So the specter is going to fail with a 14, I believe.
ASHLEY: Great. Okay.
MATT: Delilah--
ASHLEY: That fails.
MATT: -- is natural 20.
LAURA: Ugh.
SAM: Oh wow.
MATT: She still takes half damage.
ASHLEY: Okay.
SAM: It's 4d8?
LAURA: 4d6, right?
ASHLEY: Wait. Can I-- Yeah, it's 4d6. So it's 8d6. So-- Damn.
LAURA: But four of it is fire and four of it is radiant.
MATT: Four it if is radiant.
ASHLEY: Four of it is fire.
LAURA: Radiant is probably--
ASHLEY: Yeah. So, okay. So I'll do--
SAM: Just getting you ready.
ASHLEY: Okay, so fire. We got 10, 15--
LAURA: That's a good one. 19 for fire.
ROBBIE: Yeah.
SAM: Really good roll.
MATT: 19 damage? All right. She takes half of that and half of that. So she takes a quarter of it.
TALIESIN: Good to know.
LAURA: Oh no, you only rolled--
ASHLEY: I only rolled 4d8.
SAM: So she's got another four to do.
ASHLEY: That was just for fire.
MATT: Right. That's what I'm saying. But she's resistant to fire damage.
SAM: Oh, got it.
ASHLEY: Damn.
MATT: So half damage because of the successful save, and then--
SAM: So like four?
MATT: But that is 19 for them. Okay. And the radiant is?
ASHLEY: 16.
MATT: 16, which she takes half of for eight. So she takes total of--
TALIESIN: Not invulnerable to radiant. That's interesting.
MATT: 12 points of damage of that. The specter is disintegrated, just shrieking--
ASHLEY: Great. Okay.
LAURA: Yeah, that's great.
MATT: -- before it is taken off board immediately, burned in sweet, wondrous nature fey fire. The flames subside and you can see Delilah stare back at you. As she smiles, you see the Laudna face go (cracking) and smile in unison with her--
TRAVIS: Ew.
MATT: -- as she's wrestled control back.
LAURA: Ugh.
ASHLEY: All right.
SAM: Did the flame hit Delilah, too?
MATT: It did.
LAURA: It did, but it didn't do anything.
MATT: It just didn't do as much of an impact.
SAM: Okay.
ASHLEY: Yeah. Okay.
MATT: Do you want to move or stay put?
LAURA: She's resistant to flame.
ASHLEY: If I move, do they get a reaction on me?
MATT: They would.
LAURA: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Okay.
SAM: You chopped down the Truffula tree with one chop.
ASHLEY: That's true. That's true.
TALIESIN: If she stays out of my range, I'll take care of them next round.
ASHLEY: Okay. I want to get a little closer to everybody so that they can have a little bit of the benefits should they be--
MATT: So you want to move this way?
ASHLEY: Yeah. I'll move a little bit forward.
MATT: So 10 feet this way?
ASHLEY: Yeah. Yeah.
MATT: Five, 10. Okay. Both of them get attacks opportunity against you.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: Both of the dread warriors swing one strike at you. The first one is 21 to hit.
ASHLEY: Can I Shield?
MATT: As a reaction you can, yeah.
ASHLEY: Yeah? Shield.
MATT: (shield appears) (laughter)
ASHLEY: So I have a plus five now?
SAM: Casual shield.
MATT: Yeah. Yeah, so that makes your AC what?
ASHLEY: That makes my 17, 18, 19, 20--
MARISHA: Casual shield.
ASHLEY: 22.
MATT: 22.
ASHLEY: You did 21?
MATT: 21 the first hit--
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: -- and the second one misses.
ASHLEY: Great.
LAURA: Yay!
MATT: As they both strike out towards you--
ASHLEY: Ah!
MATT: You just scream and deflects his blade off the side and you go rushing over, no issue.
ASHLEY: Yes.
MATT: Awesome. That finishes your go?
ASHLEY: That finishes my go.
MATT: Imogen, you are up, with Essek on deck.
LAURA: Ugh! Okay. I'm going to turn around so I can,
LIAM: ♪ Turn around ♪
LAURA and MARISHA: ♪ Turn around ♪
LAURA: ♪ So I can look into the eyes of my ♪ ♪ girlfriend (maybe) ♪ I'm going to bonus action light up my robe.
LIAM: It's complicated!
MATT: Mm-hmm.
LAURA: Activate my rune on my robe.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: Which is going to give me a plus two to my spell attack and plus two to my DC.
MATT: Mm.
LAURA: Okay. So I'm going to think back to a long time ago and I'm going to look at Laudna and I'm just going to say: I love you. I'm trusting you. And I'm going to Twinned Spell Catapult at 6th-level.
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN: Oh boy.
LAURA: I'm going to pick up two of the ruin pieces and slam them into her at the same time.
TRAVIS: Ooh!
ROBBIE: Oh!
LIAM: Oh shit.
ASHLEY: Let's go.
SAM: They have sort of a complicated relationship, I take it? (laughter)
ASHLEY: Very much so, very much so.
TRAVIS: The rough stuff. Nice.
MARISHA: (laughs)
MATT: Sure. Okay. Go ahead and roll for the attack on each.
LAURA: Okay. So that's advantage, right?
MATT: Right. Yep.
LAURA: And a plus four.
MATT: Yeah.
LAURA: Okay. Okay, so that's 16 plus-- Jesus. 16 plus 13 plus four.
LIAM: Yes, my child, that is the correct amount.
LAURA: So that's going to hit.
MATT: Yes.
SAM: 16 plus--
TALIESIN: 20 is the minimum as far as I--
LAURA: And then the second one. 18 plus...
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: Yeah, both of them.
LAURA: Yeah, okay. Okay. So that's two hits of 8d8 bludgeoning damage.
MATT: Two hits of 8d8. Go ahead and roll it.
LAURA: Wait, I should have prepared my dice. One, two, three, four--
TALIESIN: I've missed this.
LAURA: -- five, six, seven, eight.
TALIESIN: How's she looking? She looking rough or not looking rough?
ROBBIE: Why's he got the book out?
LAURA: I don't know.
ASHLEY: I know. What's he looking up?
TRAVIS: It's never a good thing.
ROBBIE: Nope.
ASHLEY: No.
MATT: Quick question, for Twinned Spell.
TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: It says, "In order for a spell to be eligible, the spell must be incapable of targeting more than one creature," which we got.
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: "Spend sorcery points of the spell's level to target a second creature in range with the same spell."
LAURA: Yeah, but you let me do this before with Catapult because I was--
MATT: Oh that's right. No, we discussed with your build.
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: Correct. It's been a bit since we did that.
TALIESIN: Good touché.
LIAM: Is that two wild magic rolls or one?
LAURA: Oh god.
MATT: No, it is not the spell twice. It is one spell that is forked.
LAURA: 25, 29, 29, 37, 37 plus eight.
SAM: Whoa.
LAURA: I rolled really high. 37 plus eight is--
SAM: 45.
LAURA: 45 for the first one.
MATT: Okay, and this is bludgeoning damage?
LAURA: Bludgeoning.
MATT: Okay, cool. So that's 22 points. She takes half damage of it because it's technically--
LAURA: On bludgeoning?
MATT: It's not magical. It is bludgeoning, even though it's magic forcing them, but it's still full heavy hit.
LAURA: Okay. 13-- Sorry. 13--
LIAM: Shout out to that triceratops for holding up the fog.
TALIESIN: Yeah, no.
MATT: Right? I know. My first time using these new machines and I was like, can't really put it on the board, they're too strong, but I can go ahead and put them in the distance.
TALIESIN: It's very clever.
MATT: Yeah, I'm pretty happy with it.
TALIESIN: Yeah. Very clever.
MARISHA: Didn't you try to use that at a club?
LAURA: 32 for the second one.
MATT: (pummeling crash) Gets pushed back and falls onto the ground before the body (creaking snaps) stands back up, the whole back's snapping wrong until it gets into place.
ASHLEY: Shit.
MATT: As it stands up and looks, the shadow--
MARISHA: I'll put it in my purse.
MATT: -- takes note of Chetney, who's been hiding off to the side.
SAM: Oh no.
LIAM: Oh!
TRAVIS: I wouldn't call it hiding.
LAURA: Matt? (laughter)
LAURA: Matt?
MATT: Yes.
LAURA: I rolled a four. Oh wait, I only cast a spell once. Do I have to--
MATT: Once. Yeah. You only roll once because it's a spell but--
LAURA: Okay, then this doesn't count because it's advantage, so I don't know which one to take.
MATT: Okay, so just roll one more time.
LIAM: Damn it.
LAURA: I know. Three!
MATT: Okay, you're fine.
LIAM: Damn it.
LAURA: I know.
MATT: (laughs)
LAURA: One of them was a 20, so I thought--
MATT: Maybe next time.
LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.
MATT: All right. That finishes your go?
LAURA: Yep.
MATT: Essek's going to take his turn.
TRAVIS: Essek, help me! (laughter)
SAM: Where did that come from?
TRAVIS: She's looking at me!
SAM: Who's yelling?
ROBBIE and SAM: (laugh)
TRAVIS: Essek!
MATT: Do you ask for his help?
LAURA: No, I didn't put Essek--
TRAVIS: No. No. (laughter)
ROBBIE: I was joking. (laughter)
TRAVIS: (silly noises) I mean, I'll take it just to see what happens.
MATT: Yeah. I mean, do you yell for his help is what I'm asking.
TRAVIS: Help me, Essek! Yeah, I'll do it. (laughter)
MATT: The specter is whooshing around him. He's trying to fend it off and putting these arcane sigils in the air to try and protect it. He hears that and he goes, "(sighs) I'm coming." Glides off this direction about 30 feet until he can see you off to that side. Actually--
LAURA: I like to imagine that his feet under his robe go: (pitter-patter)
TRAVIS: Little Flintstones?
LAURA: They're just flippers.
ASHLEY: Little help.
LAURA: Yeah.
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: Yeah, I'm pretty sure he actually comes a little closer. He's going to scoot around this way because he thinks that's within range. The specter is going to take one attack against him, which does hit. So the specter is going to deal, or Essek takes, it's going to be 13 points of necrotic damage.
TALIESIN: Ew.
MATT: And his maximum hit points may or may not be-- That's bad. Yeah, his maximum hit points is reduced by 13.
LAURA: Oh!
TALIESIN: He did heal during the short rest, right?
MATT: A little bit.
TALIESIN: Okay.
MATT: He's like (grunts) runs by, and he's going to cast Haste on you.
TRAVIS: Oh!
MARISHA: Ooh!
TALIESIN: Okay.
MATT: So you are Hasted over here.
TRAVIS: Beautiful.
MATT: I believe it's-- Double checking.
TRAVIS: Jeez, did that give me double my--?
MATT: Oh, it's a 30-foot range. So--
TRAVIS: It'd be 106, I think.
MATT: He can get just about there, which puts him a little closer to the fray. But that'll-- Five, 10, 15, 25. It'll just get you with Haste. So hits you with Haste.
TRAVIS: Amazing.
MATT: He's like, "Make it worth my while."
TRAVIS: Oh, incredible.
MATT: You decide--
TRAVIS: I'm going to use this selfishly.
MATT: He's going to roll. He does roll a 17 for casting a 3rd-level spell.
TALIESIN: Oh no.
MATT: (laughs)
SAM: Oh wow.
ASHLEY: Uh-oh.
MATT: Somebody roll a d100 for me, please.
ASHLEY: Essek rolled a 17.
TRAVIS: I got you.
LIAM: Essek finally broke open the wild magic seal?
TRAVIS: d100!
MATT: I know.
TALIESIN: Fuck.
TRAVIS: 71!
LIAM: Turn him blue.
LAURA: 71? Oh no, no.
MATT: 71.
TALIESIN: All right.
TRAVIS: Say white dragon.
LAURA: Oh no, is he a sheep?
TRAVIS: Say white dragon!
LAURA: Is he a sheep? What is he?
MATT: He's like, "Make it worth my while. (grunts)," and there's
LAURA: Oh my god, if he's a fish
MATT: -- a tiny little goat. (laughter)
MATT: Essek goes (polymorphing whoosh). "(bleats)"
LAURA: Oh no, Essek! (laughter)
MATT: He's cursing at you in goat from across the way. "(angry bleats)" (laughter)
TRAVIS: Pellets. (soft plopping)
TALIESIN: Wait, question. Question. Is the goat floating?
MATT: It is. (cheering)
MATT: Because it's fun.
ROBBIE: Float goat!
MATT: "(bleats)"
ROBBIE: Float goat!
TRAVIS: Absolutely magnificent.
MATT: That's going to finish his turn. But you are indeed Hasted.
TRAVIS: Thank you.
MATT: All right. Finishing his go.
TALIESIN: Goddamn it.
MATT: Braius, you're up, with Chetney on deck.
SAM: Seeing all of this action, I have to take a sip from my Stanley Cup.
LAURA: Oh.
ALL: (shock and disgust) Oh!
MATT: What?!
ASHLEY: Ew!
LAURA: Gross. Sam!
ASHLEY: That is--
TALIESIN: Love it.
MATT: That's amazing.
TALIESIN: Is that your old cup and--
LAURA: That is fucking foul!
TALIESIN: -- it's finally turned on you?
ROBBIE: Oh yeah! (laughter)
MARISHA: What does that say?
LAURA: Don't write that.
MATT: (laughs)
ASHLEY: What does it say? Oh my god.
TRAVIS: Look at that eye on it. Where did that come from?
ROBBIE: Yeah.
MATT: That is awesome.
LAURA: So fucking gross.
TALIESIN: It reminds me of the Madballs.
TRAVIS: Where did it come from? Who did that?
MATT: You had to replace the--
LAURA: Turn it around.
ASHLEY: No, I hate it.
ROBBIE: I love the teeth.
ASHLEY: Yeah, the teeth are pretty--
TRAVIS: Look at the eyeball. (disgusted laughter)
TRAVIS: Ugh, take your tongue off of it!
LAURA: It reminds me of the city.
MATT: Yeah.
TALIESIN: A little bit.
MATT: It's pretty awesome.
ASHLEY: Yeah, it's great.
TALIESIN: Into it.
SAM: Covered in skin and teeth.
MATT: No, this is so good.
SAM: Then once I'm no longer parched--
LAURA: How do you wash that again?
SAM: -- I will--
MATT: (laughs)
MARISHA: It's probably better than the can.
SAM: How far away roughly? 40 feet?
MATT: Just about 40 feet, yeah.
SAM: I will bonus action Misty Step.
ASHLEY and MATT: Ooh!
SAM: Then close the distance--
MATT: Indeed.
SAM: -- and attack twice with Poison Pen.
ASHLEY: Yes!
MATT: Go for it.
TRAVIS: ♪ ("Trojan Man") Poison Pen ♪
ASHLEY: Poison Pen.
SAM: Slashing with a terrible roll. 17.
MARISHA: You have advantage. You have advantage.
MATT: 17 misses.
SAM: I do?
MATT: Yeah. All attacks.
MARISHA: All attacks.
SAM: Natural 20. (cheering)
MATT: That'll do it.
ROBBIE: Get it!
SAM: Okay, okay, okay. ♪ (stuttered humming) ♪ ♪ I don't know ♪ how to do this ♪ So on the dice it was 14.
MATT: 14 damage?
ASHLEY: Is it doubled?
SAM: Plus seven. So it's 21.
MATT: Right, so it's 14 on the dice. Multiply by two, that's 28.
SAM: Yes. Plus another seven.
MATT: Plus seven. So 35.
SAM: So it's 35.
MATT: Woo!
ASHLEY: Dang. For one hit?
SAM: Yep, and then I will swing again.
MATT: Go for it.
TALIESIN: What kind of damage?
SAM: With advantage. That is just-- Oh.
MATT: Yeah. She maintains concentration.
SAM: Just bludgeoning damage.
TALIESIN: Okay.
SAM: Then for this one, I will use Divine Smite and roll with advantage, right? 27 to hit?
MATT: 27 hits.
SAM: And this will be--
MATT: She is considered an undead, so you get to add an extra d8 to it.
SAM: Oh.
ASHLEY: Awesome.
LAURA: ♪ Asmodeus ♪
ROBBIE: Wow.
ASHLEY: In addition to--
SAM: Oh, in addition to.
MATT: Yeah. Just for free.
SAM: For both of these? Just for the Divine Smite.
SAM: Okay, got it.
LAURA: Oh, that would be good.
SAM: Not as good, but pretty good. 15, 22, 29.
MATT: 29 points of damage. Ooh! And-- Yeah, she maintains concentration. Okay.
MARISHA: That's concentration on Craven Edge?
SAM: Divine Smite, oh.
MATT: Could be.
ROBBIE: (laughs)
SAM: Divine Smite is 2d8, sorry. Plus another eight. Yeah. Plus another eight. So that's 37.
MATT: That still counts, yeah. All right.
MARISHA: Ow.
TALIESIN: Ow.
MATT: Okay.
SAM: And she's streaked with black ichor from the flail.
MATT: (thick splatter)
TALIESIN: Could you even tell really?
MARISHA: I know. It's kind of our aesthetic.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: (laughs)
TALIESIN: Just a little shiny.
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: Yeah, an oily, glistening--
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: -- surface. Okay. Well done.
SAM: That's it.
MATT: That's your turn? All righty. Chetney, you're up.
TRAVIS: I'm going to feel emboldened with this Haste and I'm going to take out my wood chisel, and I'm going to drag it along my quad (whoosh) and you see ice from the blade, not flame. And that'll do five points. So I'll take that damage and I'll run up and make two swipes with the wood chisel.
ASHLEY: Let's go, Chetters.
MARISHA and TRAVIS: Chetters!
MARISHA: We've never called him Chetters.
ASHLEY: Yeah, we have.
TRAVIS: 27 to hit for the first one.
MATT: 27 hits.
TRAVIS: Second one is a 25 to hit for the second one.
MATT: Okay.
LIAM: Why'd you make a cup that looks like your genitals?
LAURA: What is that? (gasping)
TRAVIS: 20 for the first hit and--
ASHLEY: That's awesome.
LAURA: That's so cool.
MATT: What's the-- How much cold damage was it?
TRAVIS: It's actually just 15 for the first hit. It's a wood chisel--
LIAM: Hail, Satan!
TRAVIS: Piercing damage.
MATT: Right. And how much cold damage?
TRAVIS: Five points.
MATT: Five points, okay. For a total of--
TRAVIS: So 20, including the cold damage.
MATT: Gotcha. Okay. The cold doesn't do quite as much damage as you think.
ASHLEY: All right, all right, all right, no cold.
TRAVIS: Fire and ice, this bitch.
ASHLEY: No fire, no cold.
TRAVIS: Six plus nine, 15, same thing, so 20 for the second one as well.
MATT: Okay, gotcha.
LAURA: Or she's immune. She's resistant or she's immune.
MATT: Resistant. She's taking half damage.
TRAVIS: 15 piercing of the second one. And then I'll use the Hasted to do another round of wood chisel swipes. 16 plus--
MATT: Oh, it's just one more strike for the Hasted action.
TRAVIS: Oh, it's just one more? Okay. Then this one is 28 to hit.
MATT: That hits as well.
TRAVIS: Great.
MATT: Dang.
TRAVIS: Another six. So 20 points of damage. Five of cold.
MATT: Okay.
ASHLEY: How much damage was that?
MATT: With the resistant all to it, it was, I believe--
TRAVIS: That was 60 total, but with resistance, less 15?
MATT: Yeah. But resistance--
TRAVIS: Oh, half. Okay.
MATT: -- is half each, though, so it would be 17, 18 damage. Yeah. All right, that finishes your go?
TRAVIS: No, I'm going to-- ♪ Ba, bam, bam, bam, ♪ bam, bam (mouth fart) ♪ I'm going to run, take an attack of opportunity, I'm going to use my speed to run into that little enclave and hide. Yep. Boop.
MARISHA: Enclave.
MATT: You do take an attack of opportunity. She did not use her reaction up to this point and is going to swipe at you with a Wraith Claw. That's going to be 23.
TRAVIS: Hits.
MATT: Hits. Okay.
TRAVIS: Even with the plus two from Haste.
MATT: She's hitting the middle stuff. Okay, you take--
LAURA: Oof.
ASHLEY: That is a lot of dice.
TRAVIS: ♪ (humming battle music) ♪
MATT: 31 points of necrotic damage.
TRAVIS: Sweet.
MATT: She heals--
TALIESIN: Jesus.
ASHLEY: Are you within--
MATT: -- half of that.
ASHLEY: No, you're out of the 30 feet?
TALIESIN: Out of range.
SAM: Are you within 10 feet of me?
TALIESIN: No.
TRAVIS: How many feet?
SAM: 10.
TRAVIS: Yeah, I was when I got swiped.
SAM: Oh, that's a melee attack?
MATT: Yeah.
SAM: Never mind.
MATT: All right, so that finishes your go?
TRAVIS: Yes, it does.
MATT: You dart around the corner, finishing your turn. It is now back to Delilah and Laudna. Top of your turn, make a wisdom saving throw for me.
MARISHA: I'm assuming I don't have any reactions throughout any of this.
MATT: Nah.
MARISHA: I'm going to use my advantage.
MATT: Okay.
MARISHA: Or my Bardic Inspiration, I mean. Okay. Yeah, that succeeds. That's 18 plus four for Bardic Inspiration, so 22.
MATT: Yeah. So you get to take your full round. What do you want to do, Laudna?
LAURA: Okay, yes.
MARISHA: Okay. Taking inspiration from Imogen, I'm going to use my last 5th-level spell to do Animate Objects, baby!
ASHLEY: Yes.
TALIESIN: Yeah!
MARISHA: I'm going to cast Animate Objects. I'm going to once again claw myself out. Sorry, I'm going to quicken that spell. Quicken spell, Animate Objects, claw myself out, and I'm going to say: Mages of Aeor, help a bitch out. I'm going to animate--
ASHLEY: Yes!
MARISHA: -- that big, big guy.
MATT: This guys here?
ASHLEY: Yes! Big boy!
LAURA: Yes! Sweet!
TRAVIS: Yes.
MARISHA: I'm going to be like: Hit me! (laughter)
MATT: Hell yeah.
MARISHA: That was a bonus action because I quickened that spell. Do we want to continue to have advantage on all attacks, or do we want advantage against her spell slinging?
LAURA: She hasn't really started spell slinging yet.
MARISHA: I'm going to keep with Wrestle from Within. I'm going to do Wrestle from Within again.
LAURA: I'm sure she's going to.
MATT: You're going to Wrestle Within, all right.
MARISHA: So I'm going to literally, take it literally and I start almost clawing on the inside as I'm trying to fight my way out. So once again for another round, everyone has advantage on all attacks.
ASHLEY: Okay.
LAURA: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
MATT: Okay, cool.
SAM: Amazing.
MATT: That finishes your turn? Do you want to move or stay put?
ROBBIE: Pretty cool.
MARISHA: Because I drag her with me, right?
MATT: Yeah.
SAM: Pretty cool.
MARISHA: Once again, I'm going to sprint towards Ashton and try and get her back into melee range with the fighters.
ASHLEY: Cool.
MATT: Okay. Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. It'll get you about there.
MARISHA: Okay. Ugh, that's right up against Imogen.
MATT: All right. Does that finish your turn?
MARISHA: Yes, and when does my big boy go? My Animate Object.
MATT: At the end of the turn, so let's have it go now.
MARISHA: Now?
MATT: Why not?
MARISHA: Okay.
MATT: "(bleats)"
LAURA: Oh, Essek.
ROBBIE: Aw!
LAURA: Right in there.
MARISHA: (muttering spell description) Speed of 30 feet, so can he get there?
MATT: He can climb over there.
TRAVIS: How do we get him out of goat form?
MATT: Just get in the space.
TRAVIS: Do we have to hit him?
MARISHA: Great.
ASHLEY: Cool.
MATT: (laughs)
MARISHA: He just takes this big lantern that he has and just bam!
TRAVIS: Fuck yes!
MATT: Slams it into you. (laughter)
MARISHA: Into me. Ah!
TALIESIN: He gets a d4 advantage, if he's a creature.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
MARISHA: d4 advantage?
MATT: Technically, yeah.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: He's been animated.
TALIESIN: d4 added to the attack roll.
MARISHA: He's considered a construct.
TALIESIN: Oh.
MATT: Construct is a creature.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
LAURA and MARISHA: Okay.
MARISHA: I'm assuming he has advantage. (comical "oohs" of awareness)
MATT: Little rollercoaster there.
LAURA: (laughs)
MARISHA: He has advantage, yeah?
MATT: Yeah.
ASHLEY: But wait, there's more.
TALIESIN: I think his voice is Kermit the Frog.
LAURA: Yeah.
MARISHA: Okay.
ROBBIE: Ooh!
ASHLEY: (Kermit) Do you need help?
MARISHA: 25 to hit.
MATT: 25 hits.
LAURA: Is that Kermit?
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MARISHA: Then so he does 2d12 plus four damage. Ah! That doesn't count. All right. Ah! Okay. Ugh.
ROBBIE: (grimaces)
MARISHA: (grimaces)
LAURA: (grunting) Ooh, ee, ah.
ASHLEY: (grunts like others)
TALIESIN: (grunts)
MARISHA: 11 damage.
MATT: 11 damage, all righty. Maintains concentration? Yeah, no issue. All right, that finishes your giant statue's go. As the chaos begins to mount, the ancient Aeorian statue begins looming over and stepping in the center of the platform and just slamming a massive lantern fist into the side of Laudna after coming to life. This wild perspective. Delilah wrestles control the form--
LAURA: Oh fuck.
MATT: -- and is going to first flick her hand as Craven Edge (swooshing slice) is going to rapidly move--
ROBBIE: Oh, it's so close.
MATT: -- over to you, Ashton.
TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
MATT: It's going to strike at you for--
TRAVIS: Say it.
TALIESIN: Nat 20?
LAURA: No. No, nat 20?
SAM: Oh boy.
MATT: Nat 20.
ROBBIE: Oh no!
LAURA: How many 20s has she made?
ASHLEY: Shit.
MATT: Most have been for defenses.
TRAVIS: Oh boy. Oh boy!
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: But still, that's three 20s in one fight.
ASHLEY: Is it necrotic damage?
MATT: She rolled a lot. Huh?
ASHLEY: Is it necrotic damage?
TALIESIN: We'll find out.
MATT: It is not.
TALIESIN: No, it's force damage, I believe.
MATT: See, it's the Blade of Disaster-- Ashton, I'm so sorry.
TALIESIN: I got half on force damage, I'm pretty sure.
MATT: You do not.
TALIESIN: Oh, well that's, are you-- Okay. (laughter)
ROBBIE: "You do not."
TALIESIN: Worth a shot.
LAURA: "Are you sure-- Oh.
MATT: All right, so that's--
TALIESIN: Oh. Nope, never mind. That won't work either. Fuck.
LAURA: Do you have Silvery Barbs? Aw.
ASHLEY: Can I Shield him?
MARISHA: I know. That's why I was asking if I had reaction.
ASHLEY: Can I reaction Shield him?
MATT: You can only Shield yourself.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm just checking.
MATT: So that's 26--
ASHLEY: I'm new to this game.
MATT: -- times two, so that's 52 points of force damage.
TALIESIN: And?
MATT: With Blade of Disaster, which it crits on an 18 plus and it deals an additional 8d12 force damage on a crit.
TALIESIN: So what am I at?
MATT: So that's 52 points of force damage plus--
TALIESIN: I'm taking it.
ROBBIE: The joy, the glean in his eyes.
LAURA: I know.
ASHLEY: I know. He gets too happy.
LIAM: Show off his features.
LAURA: Yeah.
ROBBIE: He says, "I'm sorry," and then fucks you up.
LIAM: Yeah.
ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah.
LIAM: It's not me.
ROBBIE: It's still happening, it's still rolling.
LIAM: It's the characters. It's is not me, it's the characters.
MARISHA: Somewhere, Aabria is tap dancing with joy.
TALIESIN: I know.
MATT: 103 points of force damage.
TRAVIS: Ooh!
MARISHA: Ah!
TALIESIN: I'm still up.
TRAVIS: Did you say 103?
MATT: Correct.
ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
TALIESIN: Is that total or is that extra?
MATT: Huh? That's total.
TALIESIN: Oh, thank god, okay, because I just took the, I'm down.
ASHLEY: You're down?
LIAM: So what's the visual on--? (laughter)
ROBBIE: (claps)
ASHLEY: Oh!
MARISHA: Oh, okay, thank god, I'm down.
TALIESIN: Well, that's 103. (laughter)
TALIESIN: I already did the 50, so this is just adding another because it was, what was the first roll? It was?
MATT: It was 103. It was 52, I think, and so it'd be another 51 on top of that.
TALIESIN: So I'm down, okay.
LIAM: What was the visual on that?
MATT: So you watch as Craven Edge that did a swing--
TALIESIN: Oh.
MATT: -- moves. And (slicing swooshes) rushes through the air and just (intense slice) carves in one fast swipe through Ashton. Ashton grabs the back.
TALIESIN: There might be a thing, but yeah, carry on, because there might be a thing.
MATT: Might be a thing?
TALIESIN: Class features. I'm a barbarian. I have Relentless Rage.
MATT: You do.
TALIESIN: Yeah. Yeah, I make a saving throw.
MARISHA: But wait, but did you like cleave him in two?
MATT: No, the edge, it carved through the back and there was just a splash of blood.
TRAVIS: Relentless Rage can be cool and it climbs, right?
MATT: Yeah, but each time, the DC gets higher.
TRAVIS: Yeah, like five more each time.
TALIESIN: DC con, DC con saving throw, which I think I still get my, yeah, because it's saving throw.
MATT: What's the DC on it?
TALIESIN: DC, where did it go?
MATT: 10 the first time, right?
TALIESIN: Yeah, 10 the first time.
MATT: Yes, make constitution saving throw.
TALIESIN: Yeah, it's a-- and plus I have luck right now, so yeah, that's, my constitution is stupid, so yeah, 27, it's like, it's ridiculously high.
MATT: The blade swings through, you watch this, Ashton is about to go down (crackling). All the rock, just--
TALIESIN: (screams) Fuck you!
ASHLEY: Ash?
MATT: The blade--
TALIESIN: I'm still up.
MATT: -- is going to then turn around because it makes two attacks on the bonus action.
TRAVIS: (screeches)
LAURA: Oh no.
MATT: It's going to attack you, Fearne. (groaning)
ASHLEY: What the fuck?
TRAVIS: What did you come up with? Taliesin, do you have one or a 10?
MATT: That's going to be 24 to hit.
TALIESIN: I have only one.
TRAVIS: Oof.
ASHLEY: Huh?
MATT: 24 to hit you.
ASHLEY: Oh yeah, my Shield is still up, but it's not enough though. Yeah.
LAURA: 22.
ASHLEY: That hits.
TRAVIS: What the fuck? What do we do?
MATT: You take--
ROBBIE: ♪ This is bad, bad ♪
TRAVIS: We leave. We run.
LAURA: Y'all run and leave--
ASHLEY: We got to finish this.
MATT: 33 points of force damage.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: Make a concentration check for me.
ASHLEY: Okay.
TRAVIS: You can shut the door.
MATT: You need to beat a 16.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: On a constitution saving throw.
TALIESIN: You're within 10 feet of me, so you have an extra d4 added to your save.
LIAM: We can't leave. Our party member is glued into the enemy.
LAURA: Yeah, he's saying leave Laudna.
LIAM: No!
MARISHA: We're going to walk back in, and we're going to have a conversation.
TALIESIN: That fucking hurt.
ASHLEY: How much did I need to make?
MATT: 16.
ASHLEY: Oh! Damn, 15.
TALIESIN: Even with a d4?
MATT: 15.
ASHLEY: Yeah, even with the d4.
MATT: Your aura fades as the blade carves the spell from your mind. That's her bonus action.
MARISHA: Are you down?
ASHLEY: No, my Aura of Life is gone, so, okay.
LAURA: That's okay, okay.
MATT: She's going to use her action to cast Horrid Wilting on the ground.
ALL: Horrid Wilting.
LAURA: Hoard Wilting.
MARISHA: Horrid Wilting.
MATT: To where a 30-foot burst, which she will put--
ASHLEY: Oh, look at us in a line.
TALIESIN: Fuck.
LAURA: Yay.
MATT: That is--
ROBBIE: What's that?
MATT: -- around here.
SAM: ♪ 'Round here ♪
MATT: Which would be... everybody.
TALIESIN: Wow. (laughter)
TALIESIN: Boy, you just dated yourself.
MATT: Everybody but Braius. Actually, no, hold on. This is here.
TALIESIN: I hate all of this.
TRAVIS: And except me.
ROBBIE: Doing math.
TALIESIN: We're also, that means that if we hit zero, we don't come back up now, do we?
MATT: Yeah, you're just out the way. (laughter)
MATT: Just dodge that.
TRAVIS: Just from the gamma burst.
TALIESIN: Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
ROBBIE: I have no powers.
MATT and TRAVIS: (laugh)
MATT: All righty, so, just a second.
SAM: Oh no, one of the teeth fell out.
TRAVIS: You know, Ludinus said we could call him if we needed him, should we?
LAURA: I know, right?
MARISHA: Just go right back there.
TRAVIS: Hey, hey, Luda!
ASHLEY: Wait, wait, wait, come back, come back, come back.
TRAVIS: Wow, really, Matt? Don't roll those again
LAURA: Are we all going to die right now?
TALIESIN: We're all going to die right now.
ROBBIE: No. That can't happen, right?
MATT: All right, so--
SAM: My lawyer--
MATT: Dorian, constitution saving throw for me.
ROBBIE: What's that there? Okay.
MATT: Constitution saving throw.
ROBBIE: Hi-ya! Con, not terrible, 12.
MATT: 12?
TALIESIN: Are you within 10 feet of-- No, you're not.
TRAVIS: Here it comes.
MATT: You take 54 points of necrotic damage.
LAURA: (gasps) (whispers) Oh fuck.
ROBBIE: Okay.
ASHLEY: Worst time for that to go down.
MATT: I know, I know. (laughs)
ASHLEY: Worst time.
MATT: Braius.
SAM: Do I get my own auras?
ASHLEY: That would've helped.
MATT: I believe so, yeah.
SAM: Okay.
ASHLEY: Damn.
MATT: I mean, you get the bonus to your aura on that.
SAM: Okay, great. Is it con?
MATT: Con, yeah.
SAM: Oof. 14, 18.
MATT: 18. You take 54 points of necrotic damage.
SAM: Great.
ASHLEY: Con save?
MATT: Yes.
SAM: It feels good going through me.
MATT: (laughs)
SAM: The death energy.
LAURA: Where does Delilah go in the turn, in the line-up?
TALIESIN: End of the turn.
LAURA: So she goes around Laudna?
MATT: She goes just after Laudna.
ASHLEY: We can use the d4 still?
TALIESIN and MATT: Yep.
ASHLEY: Okay.
TALIESIN: Then it's back up to me then and then Orym.
ASHLEY: 23.
MATT: 23, you take 20--
SAM: You can use it.
MATT: 27 points of necrotic damage.
ASHLEY: Oof, okay.
MATT: Imogen.
ASHLEY: Wait. How did that just happen?
LAURA: Yes. How can I help you?
MATT: Constitution saving throw, please.
ASHLEY: I just went down a lot.
LAURA: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Wait.
TRAVIS: Delilah and that fucking sword.
LAURA: Oh no, no, I rolled a one.
MATT: Okay, so you take 54 points necrotic damage.
TALIESIN: Fuck.
LAURA: Y'all, if I hadn't done that short a rest because I healed six points on that short rest and I would be dead right now.
MATT: Orym, constitution saving throw.
LIAM: Okay.
TRAVIS: Matt Mercer's cashing checks!
TALIESIN: Doesn't matter.
TRAVIS: Fuck!
ROBBIE: This feels bad.
LIAM: Five, hold on, I'm going to--
TRAVIS: Delilah looks rough.
TRAVIS: You're also within 10 feet, so you have a d4, but yeah.
LIAM: I'm going to use Indomitable and reroll.
TALIESIN: Plus your d4.
LIAM: Yeah, oh, that's a natural one, which I'll reroll.
MATT: Yeah.
TRAVIS: My god.
MATT: (laughs)
LIAM: Oh, it's good. Yeah, it's good, I'm getting it.
TALIESIN: You don't need it.
LIAM: It's good. 23 total.
MATT: Okay, so you take only 27 points of necrotic damage.
LIAM: 27?
MATT: Correct.
LIAM: I'm out.
TALIESIN: You're out.
MARISHA: Ah!
TRAVIS: (laugh) (claps)
ROBBIE: I healed him for 20!
TRAVIS: (laughs)
ROBBIE: It's only 20.
MARISHA: I can't TPK the party!
MATT: I need to make a constitution saving throw.
TALIESIN: Well, I'm down because I'm only at one point?
MATT: Right, so roll another constitution saving throw with a 15 DC.
TALIESIN: Come on. Come on. Don't go down. Don't go down.
MARISHA: Ah!
TALIESIN: Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine. That's 19, that's 28, I'm fine.
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN: (angry groan)
MATT: So as Delilah rising up, you watch as Laudna's feet leave the ground for a second as the shadows begin to coalesce and swirl around her hands as they float up and she sparks downward and throws it to the center of the chamber. This blackened weird spike goes in the ground, and as it spreads outward, you see hundreds of shadowed skeletal hands bursting up out of the ground and reaching and grabbing. Some of you try and run out of the way, and as they reach for you, they don't even reach to grab you, they reach through you and pull tattered sections of your soul out for a split second. You watch as Orym just got to his feet, turns around and falls unconscious to the ground. You watch as Ashton takes the hit and just barely wills through pure anger and whatever strange dunamantic power an nd his head remains is still on his feet. The rest of you (pained groan) take the hit and just hear the cackle. "(nefarious laughs)"
TRAVIS: Everybody okay up there? (laughter)
LAURA: Just hiding.
TRAVIS: Just hanging out in the phone booth.
MARISHA: Oh my god.
TRAVIS: Ready to come out in my Superman onesie.
MATT: She's going to use her movement to move five, (counts) 30 under the steps over here. Now it's going to go the rest of the creatures' turn. The skeletons rush in.
TRAVIS: Oh.
MATT: The specter rushes in.
ROBBIE: Oh!
MATT: Actually, the skeleton's going to rush over here to catch you.
ROBBIE: Okay.
MATT: This guy's going to come in towards you. So it's two attacks. That's four attacks against you, Dorian.
ROBBIE: Oh cool.
MATT: Sorry.
LAURA: She does?
TALIESIN: Not that much, though.
MATT: First attack, one misses you, the other is a natural 20.
ROBBIE: Okay, great. How many is that tonight, Matt? That a four? Was that four? Is that four?
MATT: It doesn't do a lot of damage. You only take 10 points of slashing damage from that.
ROBBIE: Okay.
MATT: The other one is attacking you twice for 14. What's your AC?
ROBBIE: What'd you say? 17.
MATT: 17, so one misses you, 14 misses, and then the other one is a 16. So both of them, both attacks and the second one miss you. Against you, Fearne, the one that's attacking you twice, that's going to be a 10, which misses, and that's going to be a 24 that hits you.
ASHLEY: That hits.
MATT: You take seven points of slashing damage.
TALIESIN: Even with your Shield?
ASHLEY: Yeah, because my Shield is 22.
TALIESIN: You also have, yeah, okay, yeah. For hits and only saves, a d4.
MATT: The one specter that's against you, Fearne, it's going to roll. Oh, that's a seven, that misses you entirely. It's like (ghostly gasps) reaches out, has no impact on you. That finishes the round. We're back at the top. Ashton, it's your go.
ASHLEY: Oh my god.
MATT: You just hear the cackling, the shadow swirling around. All the light in the chamber is growing dimmer and dimmer by the second. What do you do?
TALIESIN: (unhappy groan) I am going to very slowly start walking towards Delilah. As I'm doing it, I'm going to start getting taller and bigger and my arms are going to swell that the sparking of the rainbow, sparking in the head and in the hammer are just going to start getting really, really intense. As I get to her, I look up and I turn into diamond and now my whole body is filled with the fucking diamond, with the diamond roll.
MATT: That's rad.
TALIESIN: I'm just going to, that's my, actually.
LAURA: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Yeah, and then yeah, that's my fucking turn.
MATT: That's your turn?
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: Okay. As you rush up, see Delilah's like, "You realize that all gems can break, can't you?"
TRAVIS: Oh boy. Oh boy.
TALIESIN: Bring it.
MATT: Finishing your go, Orym. I need you to make a death saving throw.
LIAM: That's a fail.
TRAVIS: No!
MATT: First failed death save on Orym. Dorian, you're up.
ROBBIE: (lip trilling) Ah. Oh no.
LIAM: Doesn't the goat know Dunaprancy or anything?
MARISHA: "Dunaprancy."
TRAVIS: It's a goat.
ROBBIE: I'm freezing up.
TRAVIS: How do we change him out of a goat? We got to hit him?
LIAM: I was going to get him out.
MATT: You can certainly try.
LIAM: But I'm down.
ROBBIE: Oh, my--
TRAVIS: We got to hit him, right?
LIAM: I was going to get him out of goat form.
ROBBIE: Oh, I'm out. I'm out, I'm out. Yeah, I can't get him out of there. I'm out.
SAM: What do you mean?
ROBBIE: I don't have the spell slots to use it.
TALIESIN: If you get close enough--
SAM: Oh shit, really?
TALIESIN: -- you could do a healing potion, but that's pretty much it.
SAM: You have higher level slots.
ROBBIE: It's all gone. Well, I have this 4th one.
LIAM: And it was my turn. The time to do it was before my turn.
ROBBIE: Orym's still within-- We're surrounded, right? We've got these two guys here?
MATT: You are between two figures right now.
ROBBIE: All right. I actually do-- I thought I was out.
TRAVIS: Would you say Delilah looks rough?
ROBBIE: I have it. Okay.
MATT: You're behind a wall. (laughter)
TALIESIN: Would you say Delilah looks rough?
MATT: Delilah looks not present at the moment. (laughter)
TALIESIN: Would you say Delilah looks rough?
MATT: Delilah is a shadow cackling.
TALIESIN: So yeah, whatever.
TRAVIS: It's a shadow cackling!
MATT: Laudna looks pretty beat up.
TALIESIN: Okay.
ROBBIE: Oh, this is so cowardly, but I have to. Okay. I'm just going to reach down, grab Orym's hand, and at 4th-level I'm going to cast Dimension Door.
LIAM: Oof!
ROBBIE: I'm going to put us both as far away from-- Oh, I hate this. Put us far away from danger as possible. Put us on the top-- I know that it can't balance, but the top of that obelisk thing.
MATT: Up here?
ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah.
MATT: Okay, yeah, we can do that.
ROBBIE: Up and away. Because I just watched him convulse on his turn and we got two enemies around us. I just get him out of danger. Fuck, it feels horrible.
MATT: No, that's a step, that's a maneuver.
ROBBIE: And then... Then I'll--
ASHLEY: Not like this.
LAURA: Not like this. Oh, he's dead.
LIAM: Third fight in one day.
ROBBIE: I'll leave--
MATT: Yeah.
ROBBIE: I'll leave him, and I'll use my movement to get back down in the mix as close as I can.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: You put him on top of a thing and then-- You think-- Never mind.
MATT: So you're clicking your--
ROBBIE: Got him away from danger.
MATT: Are you flying with your heels from the top then?
ROBBIE: Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
MATT: You can fly to the ground if you want to, over here to get closest to them.
ROBBIE: I got 40 feet as close into the mix as I can.
MATT: Still flying?
ROBBIE: With flying? No, no, no, no. It's 30 with flying, you're right.
MATT: Right. So that'll get you about there.
ROBBIE: Okay.
MATT: Gliding into space.
ROBBIE: Oh no, I'm sorry. I apologize. I fly down, but I want to be on the ground.
MATT: Oh, I see.
ROBBIE: In the mix with everybody. Yeah.
MATT: That'll get you right behind Braius right there.
ROBBIE: Okay.
MATT: Okay. All right.
ROBBIE: That ends my turn.
MATT: Great turn. All right, finishing Dorian's go, Fearne, you're up, with Imogen on deck.
LAURA: Yeah, you had to get him out of there. You had to get him out of there.
LIAM: All bad options.
TALIESIN: Nothing good.
LIAM: Nothing good.
ASHLEY: Okay.
TALIESIN: Do damage if you can.
MATT: Actually, at the end of your turn--
TALIESIN: Also, yeah.
MATT: She's going to use a legendary action to Shadow Step.
SAM: Of course she is.
LAURA: Where's she Shadow Stepping to?
TALIESIN: Shit, shit, shit. Goddamn it.
SAM: Oh god.
TALIESIN: God fucking damn it.
LAURA: Okay.
TRAVIS: Is she-- I'm behind stone. Is she facing the door?
MATT: Fearne, what you got?
ASHLEY: I'm going to look at Delilah.
LAURA: I think she's facing us.
ASHLEY: I'm going to cast Earth Bind on her and Laudna.
TRAVIS: What are you casting?
ASHLEY: Or I guess on Laudna.
LAURA: Earth Bind?
ASHLEY: Earth Bind, so she can't move anymore.
TALIESIN: I don't know if it'll stop Shadow Step, but.
ASHLEY: Oh.
TALIESIN: In fact, I don't think it'll--
SAM: What does it say, restrained?
MATT: So Earth Bind, just so you know, it--
MARISHA: It keeps her on the ground.
MATT: Yeah, it makes it flying speed is reduced to zero, but her movement is still good.
ASHLEY: But it says (mumbled spell description). Oh.
SAM: Are those words?
LIAM: But if you're thinking Misty Step or Teleport, like physical restraints--
LAURA: Yeah.
ASHLEY: It doesn't do anything for that? Okay.
LIAM: Yeah.
TALIESIN: No.
ASHLEY: Sorry, sorry.
MATT: That's okay. No worries. Yeah, but Earth Bind is how you bring flying creatures to the ground.
ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I was thinking of something else.
MATT: That's all good.
MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
ASHLEY: Okay. Sorry about that.
MATT: It's all good.
ASHLEY: Thank you so much for letting redo.
SAM: Good playing with you.
LAURA: Bye!
ASHLEY: Bye! See you later!
ROBBIE: Let me know if I die!
ASHLEY: Yeah, that was fun!
LAURA: See you later.
ASHLEY: Okay. Oh, jeez louise.
TALIESIN: If you can hurt her, hurt her at this point. I don't think there's anything else to do.
ASHLEY: I mean, I have fire! I have so much fire and she's-- She doesn't do anything!
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: It's still damage.
TALIESIN: It does what it can, though.
ASHLEY: Okay. I'll do fire again. I will do, you know what? I'll do another 6th-level. I will do Flame Strike again.
TALIESIN: Fucking go for it.
ASHLEY: Because--
MATT: By the way, Essek is no longer a sheep because his sheep form got just Necrotic Burst.
LAURA: Oh yeah!
ASHLEY: Where'd they go--
TALIESIN: Yay! He's back!
LAURA: Yay!
MATT: He's like, (goat form drops) "Ah! (bleats)?" (laughter)
MATT: "(sighs)"
LIAM: Something baa-d.
LAURA: (laughs)
MARISHA: Popping goats.
ASHLEY: All right, so I will do at 6th-level--
SAM: A lot of farm animals here.
ASHLEY: I will do Flame Strike, which is 5d6 fire, 5d6 radiant.
MATT: Let's do it.
SAM: No, a lot of farm animals.
MARISHA: Oh, there is, yeah.
SAM: We got a cow, we got a deer, we got a goat.
TALIESIN: The radiant will do damage.
ASHLEY: The radiant will do something.
LIAM: Yeah.
MARISHA: (laughs)
ASHLEY: That's the only, I think it's the only thing that I have with radiant. So that's-- It's instantaneous
MATT: Dex save. She fails. She's going to use legendary resistance to make it. So go ahead and-- It is a radius. So yeah, you can get all of them in there.
ASHLEY: I will try. Yeah.
MATT: All right.
ASHLEY: I'm going to try to get all of them.
MATT: So roll that damage.
TALIESIN: Clear that fucking board.
ASHLEY: Okay, so it's--
MATT: Do 5d6 first for fire.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: That's a failure on one of them. Natural one on the other. (laughs) So both the skeletons, the dread warriors fail.
TALIESIN: Oh, thank god.
ASHLEY: (grimaces) Okay. Nine, 17 points for fire.
MATT: Okay. She takes--
ASHLEY: Ugh! Damn, that's bad.
MATT: -- eight points of fire damage there.
ASHLEY: 12 points of radiant damage.
MATT: Okay.
LIAM: Wild magic roll.
MATT: Roll a d100. Or, sorry, roll a d20 for me.
ASHLEY: Okay. 12.
TALIESIN: (groans)
TRAVIS: Right?
MATT: Okay. The flames burn around and you can see the skeletons now are almost reduced to dust. They're barely standing and (disjointed cracking).
TALIESIN: It didn't take them? Fuck.
ASHLEY: Wait, let me check one more thing because there's something else.
MATT: Don't you do additional fire damage on a spell?
ASHLEY: No, that's only if Mister is out or if I'm in flame.
MATT: Oh, right. Got you.
ASHLEY: But let me see.
ROBBIE: Save us, Mister.
ASHLEY: Let me check something really quick.
TALIESIN: (grimaces) What else do I have?
ASHLEY: Okay, never mind.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
ASHLEY: That's my turn.
MATT: Okay.
ASHLEY: That's my turn.
MATT: Okay, you're staying put? Imogen, you're up.
LAURA: Yes, I am. Yes! ♪ I am going to ♪ Okay, I can't-- Let me look at this line.
SAM: Line!
LAURA: I feel like I can line myself up if I do a Lightning Bolt--
ROBBIE: Yeah.
LAURA: -- to where it goes right down the middle, hits the sword, the skeletons, and Delaudna.
MATT: You could do that. It will also hit this.
LAURA: ♪ It's delightful! ♪
MATT: It'll hit the statue as well.
LAURA: ♪ It's delirious! ♪ ♪ She's Delaudna ♪
TALIESIN: If there's a way to bounce it off me, you could get two bolts. Or a possibility anyway, but that's--
LAURA: But that's if I hold it.
TALIESIN: No, no.
LAURA: What do you mean?
TALIESIN: I'm pretty sure. Sorry.
ASHLEY: Like a prism situation?
TALIESIN: Yeah, sorry.
LAURA: But I'd have to bounce it off, and if not, I would be doing a 7th-level Lightning--
TALIESIN: I take no damage right now.
LAURA: Takes no damage?
TALIESIN: Yeah, right now I'm incapable of taking damage.
MATT: Diamond form.
ROBBIE: Daymond form.
TALIESIN: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Diamond form? (laughter)
ROBBIE: Sorry.
LAURA: How do I do it? What do I do?
MATT: That was amazing!
TALIESIN: It would be, well actually, that's the trouble with this. The caster makes an ability check using the spellcaster's modifier. The DC is six plus the spell's level. That's very high. So never mind. Never mind.
LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.
TALIESIN: That's way too high.
LAURA: Okay, then I'm going to do what I said. I'm going to line myself up.
MATT: You can, from where you are, (bolt fires) through all that. It'll also hit the statue.
LAURA: If I scoochie over or get up next to the statue, though.
ROBBIE: Behind it?
MATT: Get next to the statue there.
LAURA: Then I could hit everything and not the statue.
MATT: You can hit-- I'll say it this way. You can either-- Hmm. Yeah, I'll allow it.
LAURA: (goofy laugh)
ROBBIE: (laughs)
LAURA: Okay! I'm going to 7th-level Lightning Bolt!
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN: Yeah. Damn it.
TRAVIS: 7th-level!
MATT: That's where you want to move, there?
LAURA: Uh-huh.
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN: Is it an attack or a save roll?
LAURA: It's a save.
TALIESIN: Okay, no.
LAURA: But it's a 21 save.
TALIESIN: Oh, wow!
MATT: Okay yeah, that's great.
ASHLEY: Damn! All right, Delilah's going to Counterspell.
ROBBIE: (laughs)
LIAM: Mm!
ROBBIE: "That's great."
TALIESIN: Wait. Did she burn her reaction? Or I guess she didn't burn her reaction.
MATT: She hasn't used her reaction yet. She only spends a 5th-level spell. It's 7th-level, you said?
LAURA: Yeah.
MARISHA: Rollies!
MATT: So she has to roll higher--
TRAVIS: (laughs)
LIAM: She also has to roll wild magic.
MATT: Correct.
LAURA: Oh, and I have to roll a wild magic.
MATT: Both of you do.
LIAM: Yes.
MATT: Now, understand. So a 7th-level spell, so it's a DC 17. She has to roll, and adds a six to this. She has to try and basically get an 11 or higher.
LAURA: Oh, fuck you!
MATT: Natural 20. (groaning)
ASHLEY: Fuck!
ROBBIE: You're on fire tonight!
ASHLEY: Come on!
TRAVIS: Matthew--
ROBBIE: You're on fire!
TRAVIS: -- "Critical" Mercer.
ROBBIE: Wow!
ASHLEY: Shit!
ROBBIE: Oh yeah!
ASHLEY: Such a good idea!
SAM: Wild magic! Wild magic!
MARISHA: Oh, yeah, does she--
ROBBIE: I shouldn't be rooting for you, but I am!
MARISHA: -- have to do wild magic?
LIAM: Yes, she does!
ASHLEY: Yeah, she does! Turn her into a goat!
TALIESIN: Shit, no--
MATT: As the lightning begins to apparate in front of you, she snaps and it vanishes.
LIAM: (groans)
MATT: She just--
ASHLEY: I hate her so much.
MATT: The shattered face just smiles back at you.
ASHLEY: She sucks.
ASHLEY: Ugh! I hate her.
MATT: "She's not yours anymore."
LIAM, ASHLEY, ROBBIE, and TRAVIS: Ooh!
TRAVIS: Ooh, talking shit!
LIAM: Turn into a manatee! Turn into a manatee! (laughter)
LIAM: Come on. Manatee!
TRAVIS: What is it? What is it?
LIAM: What is it?
MATT: It's a natural fucking 20. (exclaming)
MATT: I'm not fucking-- Look at this shit!
TRAVIS: Wild magic!
LIAM: Wild magic!
TRAVIS: Wild magic, baby!
TALIESIN: That turns on you, you motherfucker!
TRAVIS: Back-to-back 20s!
ROBBIE: Wow!
LIAM: Roll a d100!
TRAVIS: Turn into a goat!
LIAM: Let's go!
MATT: That's crazy. That's crazy.
TRAVIS: Turn into a goat!
LAURA: Do we have to roll the 100 or do you?
MATT: If someone else wants to roll it for me, please.
ASHLEY: Should Marisha?
MATT: I can't believe that shit.
LAURA: Marisha should roll it.
LIAM: Marisha should do it.
MARISHA: All right.
MATT: Oh my god.
ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah! Come on!
LAURA: I did, I rolled a three.
MATT: That's crazy.
ASHLEY: Come on, roll--
MARISHA: What if it's something that changes the game entirely?
LIAM: Come on.
LAURA: What if she turns to a goat?
MARISHA: 97.
SAM: It seems important.
LAURA: Oh no. Is that good or bad? Is that good or bad?
MATT: Maximize the damage of the next damaging spell they cast.
SAM: No!
ROBBIE: What have you done?
MARISHA: Go home!
ROBBIE: What have you done to us?
TRAVIS: What did you do that for?
LAURA: Wait.
TRAVIS: What are talking about?
ROBBIE: What have you done to us?!
LAURA: Wait, but that could be you! No.
SAM: Could it be?
MATT: It could be, depending on if you manage to make the save at the top of your turn.
LIAM: Holy shit.
TRAVIS and ROBBIE: (groan)
ASHLEY: Come on, baby!
TRAVIS: Give me these back!
MARISHA: I'm just quickening spells. I'm quickening spells, though. I still got sorcerer points.
TRAVIS: Wow!
LIAM: Can you punch yourself in your own face and knock yourself out?
MARISHA: That's what I've been doing!
LIAM: Okay!
TRAVIS: Wow!
LAURA: Oh god.
TALIESIN: Oh boy.
MARISHA: I do go next. I do go next.
MATT: No, you do not.
MARISHA: What do you mean?
MATT: Essek goes--
MARISHA: Are you legendary actioning?
MATT: No, Essek, then Braius, and then Chetney.
SAM: Then Chetney, then Laudna.
LAURA: Yeah, but you go before her. Yes.
MARISHA: But I go before her.
MATT: You do. Yeah.
LAURA and MARISHA: Yeah.
LAURA: Wait, I still want to quicken a spell.
LIAM: But legendary actions.
MATT: Sure.
ROBBIE: If you fail this, does she gain control of your--
LAURA: I'm going to quicken spell.
TRAVIS: We don't know.
LAURA: This is never going to work.
MATT: What are you going to do?
LAURA: Because it's intelligence. I'm going to Mind Sliver her!
MATT: Sure, yeah!
TRAVIS: We're trying to power cycle this.
ASHLEY: Okay, that's good! That's good!
LAURA: Is it?
ASHLEY: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Anything.
MATT: That's a 27.
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: I'm sorry. But it was worth trying out.
TALIESIN: We will take anything we got right now.
LIAM: Holy shit.
TALIESIN: Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
ROBBIE: Oh!
ASHLEY: She is--
LAURA: God, I wasted my 7th!
ASHLEY: -- so hard to kill.
MATT: It was a good maneuver.
ASHLEY: She's so powerful.
LAURA: Oh, and I'm going to move to where I'm not in a straight line with her.
MATT: Okay, where do you want to move?
LAURA: Behind that fallen-- Oh, no, that's right with everybody else. Fuck. No, I'm not going to do that. Sorry, I can't. I'm just going to move to where if she looks at me, I'm behind the animated--
MATT: Over here?
LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
MATT: Okay, yeah. So you glance through and you can see Chetney right behind the wall.
LAURA: Get out here!
ROBBIE: Okay.
MARISHA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: It sounds bad!
MATT: Just future stuff, that's why I was asking how far you are, because the 60-foot range on--
ASHLEY: Come on, Essek. Howdy-durdy-durdy.
LAURA: Counterspell!
MATT: On Counterspell. If you were a little bit further back, she wouldn't be able to get you.
ROBBIE: Is he not a goat anymore?
MATT: So thing to keep in mind against people that might have Counterspell in the future is that 60 foot range.
LAURA: I've never ever had a Counterspelled thing before.
MATT: But yeah, now you know.
MARISHA: Oh, that's--
LAURA: And knowing--
MATT: Is half the battle.
ASHLEY: 60 feet?
MATT: Yeah.
LAURA: 60 feet is Counterspell. Lightning Bolt is 120. I could have been out of her range.
MATT: Finishing Imogen's go.
MARISHA: This changes my plans.
MATT: It's Essek, who is now freshly transformed--
LAURA: But I didn't.
MATT: -- and is looking around, taking in the scope of this.
MATT: "(sighs) I've been saving something in case we have to get away. I believe maybe this is the time to use it."
TALIESIN: (groans)
ROBBIE: Oh, he's going to--
SAM: No!
ASHLEY: Wait, we can't leave her!
LIAM: Scatter everywhere!
LAURA: No, we're not leaving her.
SAM: We're going to get her.
LAURA: No, he's using the high level is what he's going to do. She just wasted her Counterspell!
MATT: He's like, "Do I get us out of here or do I go all in against her?"
LAURA: You go all in.
ASHLEY: All in!
TALIESIN: All in!
LAURA: You go all in, Essek!
TRAVIS: Leave her punk ass!
ROBBIE: I don't know.
SAM: The little one can't--
TRAVIS: She's already burned her reaction. She would have to use a legendary action to--
LAURA: Which she could.
LAURA: Hey, Essek, get out of 60 feet range.
MATT and LAURA: (laugh)
MATT: He drifts back here.
TRAVIS: (laughs)
ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
TRAVIS: Hoot, hoot.
ASHLEY: I relayed his message.
MATT: He going to actually drift over here. He's like, "I can't yet!" He's going to drift--
SAM: I hope that Matt Mercer gets another, "How do you want to do this?" (laughter)
LAURA: Like the Greek.
MARISHA: Like the Greek. (laughter)
MARISHA: Oh my god.
MATT: Closes his eyes and you see in the middle of his hand, pulls this small bead of dark energy.
ASHLEY: What's that?
LAURA: It's a piece of poop.
MATT: Blows it forward and it drifts over in a soft arc.
TRAVIS: Oh, it's a black hole.
MATT: Lands through the air about 60 feet here.
ROBBIE: What?
LIAM: Delayed Fireball?
LAURA: Delayed Fireball?
MATT: 60 feet right about there, right towards where Laudna and Delilah is. As it lands, the ground around Delilah, it cracks open as space between dimensions and realities are suddenly torn apart.
TRAVIS: Singularity!
MATT: As he casts Reality Break.
ROBBIE: Reality Break.
LAURA: Reality Break?
MARISHA: I mean, I'm already there. Let's go.
TALIESIN: Reality can use a break.
MATT: She needs to make a wisdom--
MARISHA: Yeah, yeah! (laughter)
MARISHA: Reality could use a break.
ROBBIE: We're getting our ass kicked in reality.
MATT: Wisdom saving throw. Fails with a two, but is going to use a legendary resistance to make it.
TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.
LAURA: She-- How does-- Never mind.
LIAM: (laughs)
TRAVIS: (laughs)
LIAM: Do-- Do-- Mm.
TRAVIS: It's in her blood.
LAURA: How many legendary resistances do they get in each? Is it three in the whole fight or three each--
TRAVIS: Per round.
LAURA: Oh, fuck it.
ASHLEY: Three per round?
TALIESIN: Three the whole fight.
LAURA: Three for the--
TALIESIN: Three in the whole fight.
LAURA: You didn't know.
TRAVIS: I'm behind a wall.
ASHLEY: Three for the whole fight?
TALIESIN: I believe so.
ASHLEY: That'd be crazy if it was every round.
TALIESIN: We're down two.
LAURA: It would be.
ASHLEY: You wouldn't be able to do anything--
TALIESIN: I'm pretty sure.
ASHLEY: -- to them.
TALIESIN: I'm deciding it's true.
TRAVIS: Yeah, I went behind the wall--
ASHLEY: Yeah, that feels like it would make more sense.
TALIESIN: We're having a reality break, it's true.
MATT: So yeah, she saves against it and he's like "Ah, shit."
LAURA: She saves against it?
MATT: Yeah.
LAURA: Damn it!
MATT: Obviously the effect would continue, but the initial save truncates unfortunately.
ASHLEY: Come on!
MATT: He's like, "Ah! Well, there goes--"
SAM: (laughs) Shit!
LAURA: She's really--
LIAM: You jinxed it!
MATT: "There goes my 9th-level, so."
LAURA: Oh my god!
ASHLEY and TALIESIN: Oh!
MATT: He's going to drift 10 feet back this way. (laughter)
ROBBIE: At least he's not a goat anymore! (laughter)
ASHLEY: Yeah. Yeah.
LIAM: Just back the Segway out.
MARISHA: Maybe he'd be safer as a goat.
ROBBIE: Yeah.
MATT: Braius--
LAURA: I'm just going to look over at Essek and like--
MATT: -- you're up with Chetney on deck.
SAM: Do I need to heal that guy or should I go kill this person?
LIAM: I'm up top.
SAM: Seems like you got it, so.
TALIESIN: Honestly, in a round it may not matter.
ROBBIE: So rhetorical.
SAM: I will--
TALIESIN: Just saying.
MARISHA: Jesus Christ.
SAM: -- Misty Step again--
LAURA: You're going to do wonders, Marisha. This is going to be it. And you. You!
SAM: -- towards what's-her-butt.
MATT: Okay.
MARISHA: It's going to hap--
MATT: 30 gets you right there.
SAM: Then close the distance.
LAURA: Everything happens for a reason.
MARISHA: Mm-hmm.
ROBBIE: Yeah, get her.
SAM: Maybe I have-- Oh, I can't do another spell. I just got to hit!
LAURA: ♪ You can go the distance ♪
SAM: I swing my weapon, I get angry. As I get angry, you can see my nostrils flare and my features start to get more bovine as the anger sears out of me, and I will strike!
MATT: Go for it, you have advantage in this because of what you did last round.
LAURA: You do have a moo face!
SAM: 27.
MATT: That hits.
ASHLEY: Ooh!
SAM: Shit, I should've said before, I'm using a charge from the weapon in this.
MATT: Okay!
SAM: So it's a bunch. This is-- Oh shit, that's good. 27, 32 plus-- plus 16. Jesus, that's a lot!
MATT: That's 48 points of damage.
SAM: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Dang!
MATT: Ooh!
SAM: Yeah.
MATT: All right.
SAM: And second strike.
MATT: Uh-huh.
SAM: For this one, I will use Divine Smite. Is this at advantage?
ASHLEY: Advantage?
MATT: Yes.
MARISHA: Come on, new guy.
SAM: Yeah. 28 to hit.
MATT: That definitely hits.
SAM: So this is two. Oh, is she undead? No, she's not.
LAURA: Yeah, she is undead.
SAM: 4d8 plus, Jesus.
ROBBIE: Yeah. That's good.
SAM: Two plus, 29.
MATT: How do you want to do this? (cheering)
TRAVIS: Yes!
MARISHA: Braius!
ROBBIE: Wait, are we cheering?
TRAVIS: I'm not sure!
ROBBIE: I don't know who won.
MARISHA: I don't know!
SAM: I will swing away with my weapon and strike several times, but as I'm doing so, the black ichor that's flying off the weapon is making a splatter all across the wall behind, and after I swing and swing and swing, even after they're down, and after a moment you see that the splatter is forming a pattern and it's the symbol of Asmodeus. (laughter)
MATT: Hell yeah.
ASHLEY: Let's go.
MATT: She falls back--
LAURA: Laudna?
MATT: -- crushed and battered. The shadow subsides and vanishes with a scream. (awful shrieking)
LAURA: Back into Laudna?
MATT: Back into the body.
LAURA: Ugh!
SAM: (sighs)
TALIESIN: Is she stable?
MATT: She's currently dying.
ASHLEY: What about the other--
TRAVIS: I'll finish the job.
ASHLEY: Did everything go with her? (laughter)
MATT: As soon as she goes down, the other undead dissipate.
ASHLEY: And Craven Edge?
MATT: The sword of Craven Edge vanishes.
ASHLEY: Okay.
TALIESIN: Stable-- I was going to say, did we hit her to kill her or is she just unconscious?
LAURA: She's dying.
SAM: I always hit to kill.
TALIESIN: Okay, so we need to stabilize her and I'm--
SAM: I'll send her to the hells to be with my lord.
ASHLEY: I'm going to go over to her and Cure Wounds.
MARISHA: I technically have Strength of the Grave.
LAURA: Oh, that's right.
TALIESIN: Oh.
MATT: Do you want to use it?
MARISHA: Well, would that get Delilah back up?
SAM: You don't know.
MATT: Want to use it?
LAURA: (laughs). Oh no! Eh?
SAM: Another spell with four words in it.
MARISHA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Three.
SAM: Strength of the Grave.
TRAVIS and LAURA: (laugh)
MARISHA: (laughs)
ASHLEY: Wait, what is Strength of the Grave again?
MARISHA: If I do a charisma saving throw, I don't go down, I drop to one HP instead.
LAURA: All right. All right, all right, all right.
MATT: Do you want to try it?
MARISHA: But I don't know if that's--
MATT: Choice is yours.
SAM: Do it.
MARISHA: What if this resets everything?
TALIESIN: Then you get to build your own team at the end of this.
LAURA: I don't think it will.
MARISHA: What is the saving throw? What is the saving throw? What do I have to roll before I do this?
ASHLEY: Was ist das?
TALIESIN: I'm proud of you--
MARISHA: Strength of the Grave. Strength of the Grave.
TALIESIN: -- and horrified.
MARISHA: When damage is-- Oh wait! That was radiant damage though, right?
SAM: There was some in there.
MARISHA: "When damage that isn't radiant or from a critical."
LAURA: Oh.
ROBBIE: You can't.
MATT: So yeah, can't use it.
MARISHA: So I can't do it.
TALIESIN: Wow.
ASHLEY: All right. I'm going to go over and I'm going to Cure Wounds.
TALIESIN: I'm going to--
ASHLEY: At 3rd-level.
LAURA: I'm going to run over to her.
TALIESIN: Then, well, we still have an Orym issue, so I'm going to run towards Orym full.
LIAM: Good, because I just failed another death save.
TALIESIN: I'm running to Orym full speed while I'm still giant and fucking getting up there. I'm going to pour a healing potion in you.
MATT: You got it.
TRAVIS: What's happening out there?
TALIESIN: Six points. (laughter)
ASHLEY: 24 points of healing.
TALIESIN: Thank you.
MATT: Thank you.
LIAM: Ash, you saved me.
ASHLEY: From me.
MARISHA: To me?
TALIESIN: Yeah. Now I'm going to fucking fall over as the diamond form goes away, and I am absolutely broken on the ground.
LAURA: Are you on the ground?
TRAVIS: No one answers, and I roll out from behind cover with my harp and just (machine gun fire). (laughter)
TALIESIN: I am so fucked.
LAURA: Do you have any more healing for Ashton?
TALIESIN: I'm not dead.
LAURA: You're not dead.
TALIESIN: I'm just at one point with two points of exhaustion.
ASHLEY: I'll heal you as well.
TALIESIN: We're all fucked right now. It's, oh god.
ASHLEY: I can't do a mass thing, but I can cure you.
TALIESIN: Work on, oh god.
ASHLEY: All right. So eight, nine, 10--
TRAVIS: Does anybody have Identify? You do. Okay.
ASHLEY: 21 points of healing, Ashton.
TALIESIN: Oh god, thank you.
TRAVIS: Doesn't do Identify.
ASHLEY: I have Identify.
LIAM: Oh, that was Letters.
LAURA and TRAVIS: Yeah.
LIAM: Letters was such a great character.
LAURA and ASHLEY: I know.
ASHLEY: Wait, did you need to Identify something?
TRAVIS: Well, we got that dragonscale cloak from the Greek live show that's just sitting in the bag.
ASHLEY: That's right.
TALIESIN: We also have a weird rock we just picked up.
TRAVIS: Green gem, but ix-nay on the green gem-nay.
LAURA: Maybe do it, oh, no, she's awake. It would've been good to do while she's asleep.
TRAVIS: (punching noise)
LAURA: Oh.
MARISHA: (grunts)
MARISHA: Chet comes out, just puts me right back down.
TRAVIS: Go to sleep, you don't breathe, never mind.
TALIESIN: Aw, fuck.
ASHLEY: I am so tired. This is our third fight of the day, right?
LIAM: Yeah.
SAM: Who's counting?
LAURA: Are you awake?
SAM: Are you complaining while you're healing a friend?
MARISHA: I don't know. Am I? What's happening?
TRAVIS: Somebody--
MATT: She cast heal on you.
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: You come to consciousness. Your eyes are bleary and the last memories you have are the horrible emotions of watching yourself being piloted and uncertain in the moment how much is you, how much is Delilah? But the further it goes, the more you know that you didn't want that to happen.
ASHLEY: You okay?
LAURA: Is it you?
MARISHA: Yes, I think so. Oh, no.
TALIESIN: Your ex was an asshole.
LAURA: I give her a big hug.
TALIESIN: Yeah, it's her. Okay.
LAURA: We got to get her out of you. We got to get her out. That can't happen again.
MARISHA: I clutch my chest. Do I still feel the thrumming of Delilah?
MATT: Extremely faint, but present. The tiniest little (faint heartbeat) (faint heartbeat)
ROBBIE: I'm going to come back over to where I hid the Bag of Holding and pull it out from under the tatters and look at Imogen go, "You're right. It can't." I'm going to pull out and hold the amulet and look at Laudna. It's not my choice to make.
LAURA: It was Delilah that wanted that. Not Laudna.
ASHLEY: What, do you know what that is?
ROBBIE: Are you sure about that?
MARISHA: I don't know what it does.
TRAVIS: Yeah. We should figure out what it does. We also have the funnel.
LAURA: Yeah.
TALIESIN: We have ways of dealing with it if we need.
ASHLEY: I'm going to Identify.
MATT: Identify spell?
TRAVIS: How many times can you Identify?
ASHLEY: It's 1st-level. I have three 1st-levels left.
LAURA: Sweet.
ASHLEY: So I can Identify a couple things if we need.
TRAVIS: I'll take the bag, the Bag of Holding. I'll also pull out the little scale cloak from and toss it into--
MATT: Mmkay. So you got the scale cloak and the amulet stone.
TRAVIS: There's a doorway to this room, right?
MATT: There is.
TRAVIS: Is there a door?
MATT: It is. It's closed.
LAURA: That's, Ludinus went, yeah.
LIAM: Yeah, from the Dominox room.
TRAVIS: Okay, it's closed.
LIAM: Hallway to Dominox room.
TRAVIS: Maybe keep it closed.
LAURA: And that's the only exit.
TALIESIN: Honestly, we're going to have--
MATT: In this chamber? Yeah.
TALIESIN: We're going to have to set up here.
LIAM: Yeah.
TALIESIN: There's nothing left of us.
TRAVIS: Yeah, let's Identify them and then--
ASHLEY: Okay.
TRAVIS: -- resty rest.
LAURA: And then pass out.
ASHLEY: Just give me-- I'm going to hold the amulet and try to look around. What the fuck is this? (laughter)
SAM: I love you, Identify. (laughter)
TALIESIN: Just shake it.
ASHLEY: What the fuck is this thing?
MATT: You take the stone and the enchantment within it is a-- It's interesting. It's a roughly infused piece of Ruidian glass like you had seen before. But the way that this has been prepared, it is an extremely powerful, more or less an arcane battery for a certain amount of magic. Which means it's either used as a means to draw power, to regain spell slots for a time, or to possibly power something. You're uncertain. But you get the sense that this has a finite amount of spell slots that can be drawn from it before it eventually breaks. Because it's the Identify spell, I'll say it has nine spell slots total that you can pull from it.
LAURA: So you could do a 9th-level spell in it.
MATT: If you had a 9th-level spell you can learn, you could do it once, but you can use an action to essentially draw the power from it to regain spell slots.
LIAM: Similar to like Rod of Absorp--
MATT: Kind of like that. Yeah.
LIAM: Caleb has one.
SAM: And there's a spell in it now?
MATT: No, it's just a battery of arcane power.
ROBBIE: Empty Soul Stone.
LAURA and MATT: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Is there anything else we wanted to do?
LAURA: Yeah, check out the armor. Yeah.
SAM: Why would Delilah want that?
TALIESIN: That's nuts. Are you kidding?
SAM: I know it's powerful, but like--
MATT: You have the cloak armor, you have the Soul Anchor.
TALIESIN: She's hungry for the--
LAURA: She wants powerful things.
MARISHA: She uses the juice.
TALIESIN: It's just juice.
ASHLEY: She wants juice. I'm going to check out the cloak as well.
MATT: The cloak as well. Okay.
SAM: (like Fearne) What the fuck is this?
ASHLEY: What the fuck is this?
TALIESIN: This one comes with a card.
ASHLEY: Wow. This is gorgeous.
MATT: I think you had the Soul Anchor in the bag as well, right?
LAURA: Prestidigitation. I'm going to clean it up.
TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, Soul Anchor.
LAURA: Right? Do I have that? Yeah, I'm going to clean up the armor as she's looking at it so she can get a better idea, what is it?
ASHLEY: Wow, you guys, this is really amazing.
MATT: It's a burgundy scaled cloak with like metal scales, leather.
ASHLEY: "Magic armor appears as a half cloak of burgundy scales. When you attune to it, the cloak liquefies, adheres to and contours to your skin." Contours. Sorry.
LAURA: Contours.
ASHLEY: Contours to your skin. "With a textured red scaled appearance across your torso. The armor can be worn under normal clothes and it doesn't impede bodily functions. Once you put it on, it can--"
LAURA: You can pee in it.
ASHLEY: You can peepee in it. "It can't be removed unless you choose to do so or you die. At which point the armor liquefies off your body and becomes the cloak."
LAURA: You can't take it off?
ASHLEY: "While wearing the armor, you have resistance to poison damage and a plus two bonus to AC."
TRAVIS: Yo.
ASHLEY: "The armor also doesn't impose disadvantage on dexterity stealth checks."
TRAVIS: Thank you.
ASHLEY: Yeah, that feels like a Chetters.
LAURA: That feels like a Chetters.
TALIESIN: That feels pretty Chetters.
ASHLEY: Well, I don't know, I mean--
TRAVIS: Cover my body in scales, why don't you?
ASHLEY: Well, I feel like--
ROBBIE: From a furry to a scaly.
ASHLEY: -- you just got--
LAURA: Plus, this one doesn't have the big--
TALIESIN: No.
MARISHA: That's right.
ASHLEY: No.
TALIESIN: That's just right.
ASHLEY: I don't know if that's--
SAM: You would rather give that to me coward than me?
LIAM: What is your--
MATT: The Soul Anchor? You have it. Ashley, you have one more Identify spell?
ASHLEY: I do have one more Identify.
TRAVIS: We have the Soul Anchor from--
TALIESIN: Take a look at that.
ASHLEY: I would love to take a look at that.
MATT: Mmkay.
ASHLEY: I'm really going to need a nap nap.
LIAM: Sammy, what's your AC?
ROBBIE: Do we have all the pieces?
SAM: It's low.
ASHLEY: Well, I have one more 1st-level.
SAM: 20.
LIAM: Okay.
MATT: You take the Soul Anchor and it is a gem about so large. (laughter)
MATT: It has, you know, it doesn't weigh much and it has a number of darkened runes across it that were carved in that bound the previous entity. But Soul Anchors are designed specifically to contain and bind powerful entities to it. They've been used historically to-- You've heard Thordak, The Cinder King, was bound to one of the most impressively built Soul Anchors that to a time kept him at bay. This one was powerful enough to contain a grand demon for some time before that bond was broken with its death. So now it is not bound to anything.
LAURA: Do you know how to bind something to it? Do you learn that with Identify?
MATT: No, but you learn that with practition of powerful magics.
TALIESIN: If we only had a guy.
ROBBIE: Yeah, we got a guy in the back. He was once a goat.
MATT: As Essek's cleaning off his gloves.
ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
LAURA: Essek, come here. Please.
MATT: "Of course. Sorry, I'm shaking off some bad haa-bits." (laughter) (groaning)
ASHLEY: Wow.
LAURA: Was it a transformation that made your 9th-level spell not hit?
MATT: "I would prefer us not to mention that again in the future. It is extremely impressive when it works, please, believe you me."
ASHLEY: Sure, sure, sure. It would've been really cool.
LAURA: Look, that little tiny rock looked like it was going to do a lot.
LIAM: Soul Anchor is extremely rare?
MATT: "They require quite amount of powerful magic and infusing of particular enchantments over time. Yes. The materials are expensive and depending on the nature of what is being bound, the magics required to do so are extremely well protected."
LAURA: How fast can you bind something once you have that ability?
MATT: "I mean, it requires a lengthy ritual, but it can be done depending on, what are you inferring?"
TALIESIN: You are so clever.
LAURA: I just, you know, we have a Ludinus.
LIAM: Right. Does it have limitations?
MATT: "Generally Soul Anchors require you to specifically bind it to an entity that is in proximity. Over a period of time."
TALIESIN: I was thinking of our other problem.
LAURA: Oh, well, I think it--
ROBBIE: Same.
SAM: What are you guys talking about?
TALIESIN: I was thinking this might be a solution to our unwanted guest.
LIAM: We could separate them, for long enough. I don't know how we do that.
LAURA: Wait--
SAM: How long is long?
TRAVIS: We leave her here until we figure it out.
SAM: Like a minute? An hour?
MATT: "I'd have to do some research. I have not done these bindings before, but I can find the information for it."
TALIESIN: This might be something that can--
LAURA: We tempt her out, and suck her in.
TALIESIN: Yeah. Honestly, we could even put her through the funnel afterwards, which would be hilarious.
MATT: "Is she not destroyed?"
LAURA: No.
TALIESIN: She is just hard to kill.
ROBBIE: I haven't been back with you very long, but sorry, she, they have caused more trouble for us in this short amount of time than anything. We fought a grand demon and various creatures, Dominox, and some of us didn't take a scratch, and I'm sorry, but you've hurt us worse than anyone.
LAURA: Yeah. That's why we need to help her.
LIAM: Yeah, I think we got to figure it out before we can do anything else.
SAM: Does this person inside you give you power?
MARISHA: Mm-hmm.
SAM: Don't you need power?
MARISHA: Mm-hmm.
LAURA: She is powerful. She's plenty powerful.
SAM: Without the thing inside her?
LAURA: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Yes.
MATT: "Why do we not just excise and banish the creature, then?"
TRAVIS: Say again?
LAURA: Why don't what what?
MATT: "Why can we not just excise and banish, destroy the creature?"
LAURA: We tried it. We tried it.
ASHLEY: We tried even killing her on her own.
TALIESIN: She's very smart. She's very clever and she does not want to go.
MATT: He takes the Soul Anchor crystal and looks it over. "Now there are certain enchantments that bind and harness power. This is not a common Soul Anchor. This is something, this is Aeorian development."
LAURA: If you tell us we could've used it in that fight--
MATT: "No, but perhaps the ritual can be prepared, and these signatures, these runes can be altered to where it is bound and still useful."
ROBBIE: You could use them together?
ASHLEY: Do you know how to do it?
ROBBIE: She could keep her powers?
MATT: "I could try. I need to get back to my laboratory, though."
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: "Is our business here complete?"
LAURA: I think so.
TALIESIN: I'm pretty sure. Although, I'm tired.
LIAM: How do you feel about camping here for the night? Because coming here was difficult.
MATT: "Correct, leaving here isn't too bad. And actually--" You watch as he pulls out his book. "It's the getting here that's the challenge. Leaving within specifically bound magics is not as difficult. I have something my partner has shown me." He pulls out a piece of chalk and begins to draw a circle on the ground. Carving a series of runes and small shapes around. He does this one massive sweep that looks like this extremely elegant filigreed S. And pulls back the symbol. "When I finish the circle it will glow for a short time. Step through rapidly and in advance know that I was not expecting company and have not had time to clean up."
LAURA: We're going to judge you, Essek. We're going to judge you so hard.
TALIESIN: Give me a second to pull myself together. I'm going to stand up and crawl my way over to that dome, that interesting broken glass dome. I'm going to pull out of my pocket a little bit of scrap metal. And quietly place it right in front of it. (sighs) Welcome home. Welcome home, buddy. Okay, let's go. Then get up and crawl over to where y'all are standing.
SAM: What the fuck was that about? (laughter)
TALIESIN: I was hoping.
ASHLEY: I know you-- Chet, did you see anything on the-- When you went around by the orb thing that used to be there, did you see anything there? A plaque? Anything?
TRAVIS: Just kind of looks busted. There were symbols.
ASHLEY: Yeah?
TRAVIS: I mean, I could have Essek look at it, but it seemed like whatever was here Ludinus took with him.
ASHLEY: Yeah, I guess it doesn't matter, at this point.
MATT: "To safer places, then?"
SAM: Well, it's been wonderful fighting with you all. I wish you good luck on your journey.
TRAVIS: The fuck are you talking about? Journey where?
ASHLEY: Bye, thank you so much.
SAM: Aren't you going to kill Ludinus?
TRAVIS: Where do you think you're going?
SAM: To kill Ludinus.
TRAVIS: Yeah, you're coming with us.
ASHLEY: By yourself?
SAM: If I must, yes.
ASHLEY: Because you were so capable?
SAM: I mean, I didn't get knocked out three times.
TRAVIS: We rescued you from a broom closet.
MARISHA: You were stuck in a broom closet.
TALIESIN: Bleeding in a broom closet.
SAM: I could have probably gotten out at any point.
ROBBIE: I think he probably could have gotten out.
TRAVIS: Extreme circumstances makes allies of the strangest fellows. I think you're with us until this is done.
LAURA: Even though you serve maybe the most shady of the gods that we saw in that vision.
ASHLEY: Well, I don't know if you need to stay with us. We don't even know you.
SAM: What do you want to know about me?
ASHLEY: I want to know, like what do you want? What did you think of that whole thing?
SAM: The fighting your friend?
ASHLEY: No, in the orb. Like, what are your thoughts? What do you feel? What do you want?
SAM: I thought that the Prime Deities are squabbling children who don't deserve the power that they have.
TALIESIN: I have a suggestion, which is we get in this fucking teleport circle that's about to happen and then we have ourselves a nice couple rounds of "What the Fuck is Up With That?" with our new fucking friend.
ASHLEY: Or do you want to stay here?
SAM: Let me find out. I will cross over to the symbol I've painted on the wall and kneel before it.
TALIESIN: Oh god, another one.
SAM: And pray to the Lord of Hells for guidance. Do I trust these people? Can they serve your purpose? Or do I go it on my own?
TALIESIN: We're gone.
SAM: Give me some sort of sign or guidance.
ASHLEY: Yeah, we turn around.
LAURA: Yeah, we're gone.
SAM: Shit, they're gone. (laughter)
SAM: Hurry up. (laughter)
SAM: I think they're leaving soon. So I'll pray and look for any sort of sign.
MATT: You close your eyes and try and reach out to connect your prayer with the Lord of the Hells. After a few beats of silence you open your eyes unto the sprayed, inky symbol that is strewn across the wall. And sigh deeply at the lack of response, before your eyes catch the long tendrils, the singular blackened drips of the ichor that begin to form into bigger ones and then form into bigger ones. Then you count them, as eight singular drips that all eventually come together into one.
SAM: It seems like too big for a party. (laughter)
SAM: Could take a long time to make decisions, but if this be your will. All right, I-- Oh shit, they're gone. (laughter)
MATT: You look back and this circle is glowing and Essek's like, "You have to come right now. Hurry, hurry, hurry!"
SAM: Clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop. (laughter)
MATT: "Get in!"
TRAVIS: Was that a cow bell?
LAURA: I want to have taken a stone from this room.
LIAM: I wanted to do the same thing. I'm doing the same thing.
ASHLEY: You're doing what?
LAURA: We're both picking up a little stone.
LIAM: Just a rock from--
ASHLEY: To remember it by?
LIAM: -- the craziest place on the planet.
TALIESIN: I'm sure I have some stuck somewhere at this point.
LIAM: From Letters' home.
MARISHA: I also scooped up an amulet a couple games ago.
LAURA: Oh, you did!
MARISHA: We haven't looked at it yet.
TALIESIN: Awesome.
TRAVIS: From where?
LAURA: We should Identify that one.
MARISHA: When Essek was like, don't touch anything. I scooped up a red amulet.
TALIESIN: Very specifically do not look at any-- yeah.
LAURA: ♪ What do we see in Essek's house ♪ ♪ Da, da ♪
MARISHA: Oh dude, I mean--
MATT: So, you arrive. Actually, you know what would best? Liam, if wouldn't mind describing the interior of the abode that Caleb and Essek share.
TRAVIS: Why is it so messy in here?
LIAM: So this is-- I don't trust anybody whose house isn't a mess. This is the house that they live in?
MATT: Correct. Wherever their shared laboratory would be. Because he has not returned to his home laboratory. He has not returned to the Dynasty in a long time.
LIAM: Oh boy. Well, in Rexxentrum, I would think that Essek's partner and he have a well crafted, but not ostentatious home. Not small as the home that Bren grew up in. But again, not big and flashy. Simple, enough room to have guests when needed. Not too far from the school that shaped Bren into Caleb and where Caleb teaches from time to time. There is also in their laboratory, in the back, a dedicated corner of the room that leads into the tower. It's right next to the sex room. (laughter)
LIAM: Every room is the sex room.
TRAVIS: Nice.
ASHLEY: Yeah.
LIAM: Speaking of spatter.
MATT: Do not black light this house.
MARISHA: Oh jeez.
TALIESIN: I cast-- Nope.
MARISHA: Son of Asmodeus!
ROBBIE: Where did that magical bead manifest from?
MARISHA: (laughs)
MATT: My god.
LIAM: It is very Zemnian, but there are artifacts and mementos all about the house from their travels together and of their friends that they share. Lots of memories. Lots and lots of memories. And it is a mess.
MATT: Yeah, stepping into this chamber it is cluttered. There are books pressed in haphazard piles. Some lazily opened. Some that are left down with their spine open, which Essek immediately rushes over and sets it straight. But it is welcoming, it is homey. There are smells of, like a lingering scent of herbs that are drying on one wall for various magical material component uses. There's also smells of sulfur and other burnt chemicals set into the stone around you, in the wood around you to the point where it's always present a little bit. As small and cramped and cluttered as it may be, it is welcoming. As you all step through, Essek immediately, "Please, once more. This-- I'm extremely embarrassed. Um, out of here, please, where it's more comfortable. There are seats upstairs in our study. I will make some tea and then I will get to researching this, um--" He looks back to you.
MARISHA: I avert my gaze as I'm--
MATT: "Laudna, right?"
MARISHA: -- very embarrassed.
MATT: "Laudna."
MARISHA: Mm-hmm?
MATT: "Are you all right?"
MARISHA: No.
MATT: "Good. Acknowledging these traumas is important and sometimes you're uncertain what you're capable of until the worst people take advantage of you. I have been-- I have been around long enough to see this happen to people I care about. Before I met them and after. Try and do your best not to blame yourself. If this is something we can do, and I will try, but no promises, let this be the beginning of a new path to recovery."
MARISHA: I'd like that very much.
MATT: "Good, hold unto that."
MARISHA: You said that it would almost reverse our roles. That I could-- She would be my puppet.
MATT: "If I can alter the enchantment enough, I don't see why I couldn't try it. How bound to her are you? Do you need her to survive?"
MARISHA: I guess not. But I am scared of what I might lose. Especially with the oncoming battle ahead.
MATT: "Well, let's see what we can do. If you can make her your puppet instead." He clasps his hands over yours and holds your eye contact. "All right. Get her some tea."
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: "There might be some stale cookies in the kitchen. You are welcome to them. I don't know, you said she's still with you, yes?"
MARISHA: I can feel her, faint.
MATT: "Do you know how long until she will be back?"
MARISHA: I think that depends on me.
MATT: "Then we need to hurry. Talk amongst yourselves." He goes and takes his heavy coat off and puts it on the rack. You can see he gets a more comfortable robe and throws it over, throws a scarf over his shoulder that he smells for a second. Then goes down into the laboratory himself.
LAURA: I grab your hands and gently lead you into the living area. Who drew those dicks on the wall? (quiet laughter)
LAURA: Let's get you some tea.
MARISHA: How's everyone else, though? It's-- Orym and Ashton each took quite a beating. I'm sorry.
TALIESIN: I honestly have always suspected you would get knocked out pretty quick. I am very impressed. Ow.
LIAM: Orym's going to weakly sit. You sat her down?
LAURA: I sat her down. I'm going to start telekinetically bringing over a teapot.
MARISHA: Normally, it's my job to get you water.
LAURA: It feels good to be able to help.
LIAM: I'm going to sit down next to you. Except my feet are just hanging off the edge of the couch.
TALIESIN: I'm going to lie down on the floor in front of the couch while this all goes down.
LIAM: My hand rests on your hand and while I'm talking, little tiny tendrils of vines and flowers start to wrap around your hand and your forearm. I'm so sorry that the world is moving so fast that we couldn't take the time to help you.
MARISHA: No, no. You know, when all of that was going on, lost in the chaos and shadow, I distinctly remember having a thought. If there is anyone here, who were to finish the job, put me down. I remember thinking, I hope it's Seedling. I hope it's Orym. I don't know why.
LIAM: I don't-- I don't want that.
MARISHA: I don't want that, either. Maybe it's because I know. You have the ability to do what's right.
LIAM: Not a lot of my choices have, um, panned out, Laudna.
MARISHA: I don't know if Dorian will ever be able to trust me again.
ROBBIE: You're not as bad as you think. I'd rather kill a god than kill you.
MARISHA: We really are quite a fucked up family.
LIAM: (sighs)
LAURA: I'm going to go in the kitchen and get some stale cookies.
TALIESIN: See if they have any liquor.
TRAVIS: (speaking with a full mouth)
LAURA: Oh no, Chet! Come on!
TRAVIS: (muffled) They're terrible. (muffled mumbling)
TALIESIN: I am going to kill you.
SAM: I'm going to--
LIAM: You said there was-- Oh, go ahead.
SAM: I was going to pull Fearne aside for a second, if that's all right.
ASHLEY: Clop-clop, clop-clop.
SAM: And-- clop-clop, clop-clop.
LAURA: Aw, hoofy steps.
ROBBIE and MATT: Double clops.
SAM: You fought bravely back there.
ASHLEY: Thank you.
SAM: It was impressive.
ASHLEY: Thank you very much. You did pretty good yourself with your two balls.
SAM: They swing. They swing low.
ASHLEY: Yeah, they swing real low.
SAM: When you asked me how I felt about what we saw, it frightened me a little bit.
ASHLEY: Yeah?
SAM: Just how much I was finding my heart agreeing with what Ludinus was saying.
ASHLEY: Hm.
SAM: No matter how this ends up, someone will become much more powerful. We have to figure out the right person or people to give that power to.
ASHLEY: Yeah, I guess. I guess that's one way to look at it.
SAM: You trust your friends enough to make that decision with them?
ASHLEY: Yes, I do. I do.
SAM: All right.
ASHLEY: You don't?
SAM: I don't know them.
ASHLEY: You don't know-- Listen, I've been with them for a very long time. We've been under very different types of stress and--
SAM: There's a little fly buzzing around that my tail just sort of--
MATT: (tail swats)
SAM: Sorry, go on.
ASHLEY: Oh.
LAURA and TRAVIS: (chuckle)
ASHLEY: That's okay. It's great that you have so many different things you can flail around.
SAM: Appendages?
ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughs)
MARISHA: (laughs)
TALIESIN: (laughs)
ASHLEY: Yeah, that's a great-- Yes, they're wonderful. I love my friends and I think they're more than that. They're family to me, speaking of. That's what was relatable to me of watching the gods is they're all family, too.
SAM: All of them.
ASHLEY: All of them. Even the ones that are kind of mean.
SAM: You were hurt in the fight. May I heal you?
ASHLEY: Oh, I mean, if you want to. I mean, I can always just sleep it off. But yeah, sure.
SAM: I'll reach out my weird hoof hand.
SAM: (laughs)
LAURA and MATT: (laugh)
SAM: But don't you have hands too?
SAM: Look at the art, baby. (laughter)
SAM: I have these three weird-- Anyway. (laughter)
TRAVIS: You've got Oswald Cobblepot hands.
ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah
MATT: Yeah, straight up.
LAURA: You kind of do, yeah.
LIAM: TMNT hands?
ROBBIE: Yes.
SAM: If you'll allow me, I brush your hair back--
ASHLEY: Sure.
SAM: -- and cup the back of your neck and look into your eyes.
ASHLEY: Oh, wow.
LAURA: You're just on the ground like--
TALIESIN: I am on the ground going: Oh, for fuck sakes.
SAM: I will Lay Hands and pump 30 points of--
ASHLEY: You're going to pump?
LAURA: Lay Hands and pump.
SAM: Yeah. -- back into you.
ASHLEY: (laughs)
MATT: Sam is back at the table.
ASHLEY: Thank you so much. (laughter)
ASHLEY: 30 points of healing?
SAM: Mm-hmm.
MATT: (laughs)
ASHLEY: I feel great.
LIAM: Sexual healing.
LAURA: Right after he pumps, I'm going to stick a plate between you. Cookies?
ASHLEY: Oh, thank god.
SAM: I don't eat sweets.
ASHLEY: What do you eat? (laughs)
SAM: Bitter things. (laughs)
LAURA: Wow. I'm going to go around, give some cookies to Dorian.
ROBBIE: Yes, please.
ASHLEY: Thank you so much.
LAURA: None for Chet since he already ate all of them. I'm going to lean over the chair that Orym is sitting in. I'm going to lean over the back and kiss the top of his head and hold the cookies around.
ASHLEY: How do you sit?
SAM: How do you sit?
LAURA: Bring them over to Laudna.
ASHLEY: I sit back in a chair.
SAM: So do I. I sit in a chair too.
TALIESIN: Thank you.
SAM: (laughs) I just, fwomp. You think I sit in a chair with all four limbs?
LAURA: Yeah, do you just--
ASHLEY: Well, I don't know.
LAURA: Do you curl them up?
SAM: I will demonstrate how I sit in a chair. (laughter)
SAM: As I do, I notice the dicks on the wall, too.
LAURA: Yeah.
SAM: And cock my head.
LAURA: There's a lot.
SAM: Hmm.
ASHLEY: It's quite the artwork.
LAURA: It's kind of strange.
ASHLEY: It's really, really great artwork, though.
LAURA: This doesn't seem like it would-- It doesn't go, you know?
LIAM: There are okay--
ASHLEY: Yeah.
LIAM: -- but if we stay here for a day, I saw a vegetable garden out on the side. Maybe we can get some roughage.
ASHLEY: Have some vegetables?
LAURA: Yeah.
LIAM: Get regular again.
ASHLEY: Some roughage would be great. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
ROBBIE: Do you think there are nuts in these? (coughs) (laughter)
TALIESIN: Oh god.
ASHLEY: Oh no, do you have a peanut allergy? (laughter)
TALIESIN: Oh god.
SAM: Oh no, I--
LAURA: Oh no!
SAM: I got rid of all my Lay on Hands, it's gone. It's gone, I used it all!
ROBBIE: (gagging) I'll heal myself. (gasps) Definitely almonds.
LAURA: Oh no, I'm sorry, Dorian.
ASHLEY: Oh no!
TRAVIS: I'm going to--
ROBBIE: It's okay, it's okay.
TRAVIS: -- get a little tracheotomy going. (laughter)
SAM: Would you like a sip?
ROBBIE: Yes, please. Oh god, no. (laughter)
SAM: My Stanley cup.
MATT: That's amazing. Aw, buddy.
MARISHA: Survived fighting multiple demons and is taken out by almonds.
MATT: That's just how it would be.
LIAM: In addition to dicks on the wall that Laura created, is there any portraits or anything on these walls anywhere?
MATT: Yeah, you can see there's a couple that are beautiful landscapes, like the Zemnian countryside. You can see the rolling hills of Pride Hills and the grass fields blowing in the wind. In the distance, you can see rivers pouring across and the far off shadowed shape of Rexxentrum before it reaches the mountain range beyond. You see another one that's a beautiful vision of a little farmhouse. It's just very simple, just this nice little farmhouse. It seems kind of fuzzy, like it's a painted memory. You see-- Well, what else would we see in there, you think?
LIAM: I mean, I think there would be-- Jester sketches, there would probably also be portraits. I'm just seeing if I can finally link Widogast and Lionett--
LAURA: Oh yeah!
LIAM: -- to Essek.
LAURA: I feel like Jester would have painted them--
LIAM: I feel like there would be drawings and etchings of the Nein and--
MATT: Okay. To that point, in sitting here for a bit, preparing tea and resting, looking around the house, you do eventually see one portrait that is kept, not out and in front, but when you go and check in on Essek in the laboratory. You didn't see it at first as you were making your way in but you can see on the stone wall to the side, there is a soft portrait of the two of them. You see the shorter hair in this image, but the same Essek who returned, went to and from Aeor with you. You see him sitting with his hand on his shoulder, and on his hand behind him, resting on the shoulder, a familiar well kept visage of the Caleb Widogast that you had encountered not that long ago when the Malleus Key first punched through to the Moon Of Ill Omen.
LIAM: We know him.
MATT: "What? What is that? I'm sorry, I'm in the middle of--"
LIAM: This man.
MATT: "Oh, that is my partner."
LIAM: We know him. We met him.
MATT: "You know? How? When? What?"
LAURA: At the Key.
LIAM: Yeah, at the Malleus Key. He had a friend with him. Beau?
LAURA: Abs.
MATT: "Beauregard, yes."
ASHLEY: Abs, yeah.
MATT: "Yes, abs. We are quite familiar."
MARISHA: She's very attractive.
ASHLEY: Oh, you know her as well?
MATT: "Yes."
ASHLEY: Oh, cool, cool. Does she come over also?
ASHLEY and LAURA: (laugh)
ASHLEY: I'm just kidding.
MATT: "On occasion."
ASHLEY: Sorry. On Occasion? Oh.
MATT: "She and her wife have visited on a number of times, yes."
ASHLEY: Oh, okay.
LIAM: Are you in touch?
ASHLEY: Her wife.
LIAM: Are they all right?
MATT: "As far as I can tell. We've been keeping in contact as much as we can. They're off on a particular mission."
LIAM: Good, I'm glad. How recently?
MATT: "About a week ago."
LIAM: Okay.
MATT: "He checks in. But also has to conserve his time and ability."
LIAM: Wow.
MATT: "He's endured a lot. He can endure far more. Nevertheless, I found the tome I was looking for. I need to begin preparing a ritual. Are there any of you who are somewhat inclined with knowledge of the Arcanum?"
LIAM: I'm going to go pick some green beans.
LAURA: You know--
TALIESIN: I'm going to lie here and hope someone brings me a bottle of something alcoholic.
TRAVIS: When it comes to blood, I'm your gnome.
TALIESIN: Please, nothing with blood.
SAM: I know a little.
MARISHA: I mean, yes--
SAM: I can certainly help someone know more.
ASHLEY: I could probably help you.
MARISHA: Arcana?
SAM: Oh yeah?
ASHLEY: Oh yeah.
MATT: "So you say this entity is bound to you, right? Bound into your flesh and blood?"
MARISHA: Yes.
MATT: "You are one of blood magic?"
TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.
MATT: "Hemocraft. Interesting."
TRAVIS: Do you have blood?
MARISHA: Yes.
MATT: "You have some knowledge of--"
LAURA: It's thick.
MARISHA: It's just very thick.
SAM: It sounds like the-- Sorry, what was your name?
ASHLEY: Oh, my name is Fearne.
SAM: Fearne.
LAURA: Oh, wow. Do you know our names?
SAM: I overheard some of you calling each other things. His name's Chetty.
LAURA: Chetters, yeah.
LIAM: Go down the line.
TRAVIS: King Chetters.
LIAM: Go down the line. What do you think everyone's name is?
SAM: Oh, Chetters. Delilah.
LAURA: (laughs)
ROBBIE: Don't hurt my feelings.
SAM: Dorian.
ROBBIE: Yes.
SAM: Fearne.
SAM: Laudna. (laughter)
ASHLEY: "Lout-na."
SAM: (laughs)
ASHLEY and LAURA: (laugh)
SAM: I overhead someone say Oprah, I believe. (laughter)
ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.
LIAM: Yep.
ASHLEY: It's close enough.
SAM: And Ash.
TALIESIN: Wow.
SAM: Yes. And I am Braius Doomseed.
LAURA: Braius, oh wow.
ASHLEY: Doomseed?
SAM: Yes.
LAURA: Wow.
LIAM: Doomseed's all one word?
SAM: Yes.
ROBBIE: Is that a family name, or--?
ASHLEY: Cool.
SAM: No.
TALIESIN: How's Daddy Doomseed doing?
ROBBIE: I didn't think so.
SAM: No. It was a name given to me.
TALIESIN: By yourself? Did you give yourself that name?
SAM: Bestowed upon me.
TALIESIN: Okay.
ASHLEY: It was bestowed upon you.
TALIESIN: You bestowed it upon yourself?
LAURA: By an ex lover?
SAM: No, by my oath.
LAURA: Got it.
TALIESIN: Oh, by himself.
ASHLEY: By your oath, okay.
TALIESIN: It's cool.
SAM: And Essek, right?
MATT: "That is correct, yes."
SAM: That was an interesting trick, turning into a goat and then throwing a bead that did nothing. (laughter)
SAM: Are you a mage of some sort?
ASHLEY: Turn him into a goat. Throw a bead at him.
MATT: He is going to-- (laughter)
TALIESIN: I'm so excited.
ROBBIE: Could you have more hooves?
SAM: (laughs)
MATT: He's going to say, "I'm just a hobbyist," and tap your shoulder.
SAM: Uh oh.
MATT: He goes back to his book.
LAURA: Oh!
MATT: "I would like help--"
SAM: Oh no.
MATT: "-- your help, your help, obviously your help, maybe."
LAURA: I want to help.
MATT: "Yes. All right."
LIAM: Ooh, carrots, too!
MATT: You try and move, and your armor-- (sticky jerk)
SAM: Oh shit.
MATT: -- won't move from its point in space. (laughter)
ASHLEY: Come on.
TALIESIN: (laughs)
SAM: I can't.
ASHLEY: Why are you just standing there? (laughter)
SAM: (grunts)
TALIESIN: Oh, I'm so happy.
SAM: (grunts)
LAURA: Oh. (laughter)
SAM: (struggling grunts)
TALIESIN: Oh, it hurts to laugh. Oh, oh it hurts to laugh so much. Oh.
SAM: I'll just wait here.
TALIESIN: (laughs)
LAURA: What can we do? What can we do?
TALIESIN: You want a carrot?
SAM: Shut up.
TALIESIN: (laughs)
TRAVIS: But good guess. (laughter)
MATT: Here in the late of the night--
LIAM: Orym walks by with a basket full of green beans and carrots on his way in.
TALIESIN: Yep.
MATT: (laughs) Here in the middle of the Rexxentrum night, the stillness here in response to the darker shades of the past days, the hint of joviality and the whisper of promise brings a rolling glimmer of hope as a handful of you gather here into the late hours of the evening, along with Essek, to begin iterating on rescribing and eventually preparing a ritual that could be an opportunity to change the fortune of one Laudna.
LAURA: Oh my gosh.
MATT: And that's where we'll pick up next time. (groaning)
MARISHA: Holy heck.
TRAVIS: Don't worry guys, we got the top minds on it.
MATT: (laughs)
MARISHA: Right?
ASHLEY: Yeah, the tippy top.
TRAVIS: Tippy tippy top.
TALIESIN: Tippy top.
MARISHA: (groans)
ASHLEY: Dang!
MARISHA: That is so much to process.
ASHLEY: God, that's a lot to process.
MARISHA: Oh my god.
TRAVIS: ♪ Or we'll make it worse ♪ ♪ I hope it's that one ♪ ♪ Make it, making it worse ♪
MATT: (laughs)
ASHLEY: No!
ROBBIE: No. He's got it!
LAURA: Did you want--
TALIESIN: I love a little, you know, we'll fix it and then get some--
LAURA: Who wants this demon shell armor?
ASHLEY: Demon shell armor? Anybody?
TRAVIS: I mean, that was cool. She's got an AC of 14.
MARISHA: I would love a little Delilah.
ROBBIE: You're going to get a Delilah necklace.
SAM: Can she wear armor?
LIAM: It's attunement, right? Are you full up on attunement?
MATT: It counts as a breastplate I think. It says that.
LAURA: Yeah.
LIAM: Oh.
LAURA: It's a half plate.
MATT: Half plate, Sorry.
LAURA: I don't think sorcerers can wear it.
MATT: So it has to be somebody who can use half plate.
TRAVIS: I'll take it until somebody else wants it.
LIAM: Do you have room for it in your attunement?
TRAVIS: I'll make room.
LAURA: ♪ Get that attunement ♪
TALIESIN: What does "I'll make room" mean?
LAURA: I think he does--
TALIESIN: Okay.
LAURA: -- have room.
ROBBIE: I like my stuff, and I'm not even using it.
MATT: Well, so we'll pick up here next week and see where this takes us. So thank you all so much for joining us. We love you very much and is it Thursday yet? Good night. (cheering) (cheering)
LAURA: (mooing) (laughter)
MATT: Just fucking mooing in the armor, you asshole! (mooing) (laughter)
ASHLEY: Yay Sammy.
LAURA: Yay Sammy.
TALIESIN: Welcome back.
MATT: (laughs)
MARISHA: You got the How Do You Want To Do This.
Cooldown
ALL: (cheering)
LAURA: (mooing)
MATT: I know! He's fucking mooing in the armor, you asshole! (mooing) (laughter)
ASHLEY: Yay Sammy!
LAURA: Yay, Sammy!
TALIESIN: Welcome back.
MATT: (laughs)
MARISHA: You got the How Do You Want to Do This?!
MATT: Yeah, you did.
TRAVIS: First things first. Where did the cup come from?
LAURA: Oh my god.
SAM: This is my Stanley cup, that Nox made.
TRAVIS: Oh, yeah?
SAM: In-- well, I don't want to tell you now, but-- so, it's-- this is Stanley. This is the skin and eyes of a guy named Stanley. He fought alongside me but then betrayed me, so I had him flayed and made into a cup.
LAURA: Amazing. Wow.
ASHLEY: I feel like Aabria's going to love that.
TRAVIS: Tell me there's consciousness in the cup.
SAM: Oh, that's a good question.
MATT: I guess we'll have to find out.
MARISHA: Can you change the color of the eye?
SAM: No, but this is the umbilical cord.
LIAM: Umbilical cord. (cast exclamations of disgust and awe)
MATT: Nox did far too good a job with that.
LIAM: That's probably the most sanitary cup, oddly, that you've ever had.
LAURA: I know.
TALIESIN: It can be cleaned properly, which is kind of insane.
LAURA: Oh my god.
MATT: Yeah, you know, we always wondered, where'd the cancer come from? Maybe from years of drinking from those-- (applause) (laughter)
SAM: Oh, shit!
MATT: Yup! We joked about it for a long time!
TRAVIS: Pickles and toothpaste and all that shit in your mouth-- (laughter) How long has that mini been sitting in your secret room, Matt?
MATT: Oh, for a while. If a moment like this ever came around, I've had this mini for months.
MARISHA: That mini's gorgeous.
MATT: It is such a phenomenal job.
ASHLEY: Can I see them close a little bit?
MATT: Be careful. It is also probably the most brittle mini we have, just because of the design for it. It's so pretty.
ASHLEY: Wow.
LAURA: Whoa.
MATT: Tyler, I think, was the person who sketched it out. (admiring cast noises) It's so freaking cool.
ASHLEY: That's amazing.
LAURA: I'm so scared of it. Oh, god, you can see it on the--
ROBBIE: Hopefully we'll never have to see it again.
SAM: Yeah.
MARISHA: I know. I hear you.
LAURA: What if we [JENGA].
LIAM: You look so unhappy in there.
MARISHA: That would be awesome. So Matt, the pendant necklace is definitely like the pendant necklaces that had the demons and stuff that were being harbored in them in Aeor that we saw in Downfall?
MATT: It could be. It could be.
SAM: But this-- we're going to do a ritual?
ROBBIE: He's going to do like a combo. He's going to do like a mash-'em-up.
MATT: Yeah. The ritual for Soul Anchor Binding is usually a protracted binding, either if it's-- depending on the power of the magic, it can take a very long period of time; it can be shorter than maybe just even an hour. Or if it's a smaller amount of power energy-- and usually what it is, it just binds an entity within the proximity of it. But this particular--
SAM: Was that what bound Thordak to the Fire Plane?
MATT: Yes. A much larger one, and one that was multiple people binding him into it and forcing him through the dimensional portal that was how they dealt with that issue over on Gwessar.
LAURA: Didn't backfire at all.
TRAVIS: It would have been fine if it wasn't for Raishan.
MATT: It would have been fine if Raishan wasn't so fucking clever and knew how to alter its functionality and essentially think of a different way to loophole it. But this is an Aeorian binding enchantment that is very powerful. It was meant to keep a Grand Demon bound in energetic servitude for a very, very long time.
SAM: Cause Aeor was powered by...
MATT: Well, it was powered by a lot of things. Dominox in particular-- the Nox Engine, what it did was, on top of maybe it powered some enchantments and stuff-- I can talk about him now because he's dead-- but his binding is what allowed the higher mages of Aeor to be able to keep bound to them multiple smaller devils as assistants.
LAURA: Wow.
MATT: That's why you see many of the high mages had little imps and devils.
LAURA: Like there were so many demons in the city.
MATT: It was because the Nox Engine allowed them to basically be like, "Oh, the devils? We don't care about their evil interests because we can just make them do what we want them to do. In which case, they're no longer evil if they're bound to us in servitude."
LIAM: What a bunch of assholes. (sounds of agreement)
MATT: They didn't tell the demons to do terrible things the devils wanted to do. Or demons, sorry. They were demons, Abyss, yeah. You know what I mean.
SAM: I don't know what you mean. Demons are different from devils?
MATT: Yes, they are. Sorry, I meant demon, yeah. That was the Nox Engine. Its main purpose when it failed its initial purpose was to be used as a means to keeping all of these various demons bound in servitude to the higher mages of Aeor.
TRAVIS: Ludinus didn't kill us and is trying to win us over, or some of us over.
LAURA: I know. He's very charismatic.
LIAM: Maybe he thinks if he just keeps chipping away, he'll finally--
LAURA: He's gonna--
ROBBIE: I don't know what he's going to do. I just like him.
MARISHA: Dorian's going to break bad.
LIAM: Do it! Do it!
ROBBIE: [JENGA] for like 90 episodes.
TRAVIS: Do we think he's talking to all of us? Or just two of us?
LAURA: Ludinus, you mean? He wants to awaken Predathos, and I think he needs us to help do it.
TRAVIS: [Jenga] Ruidus [Jenga]?
LAURA: I don't know if he needs us, but we would certainly shorten the timeline because we're a couple of powerful Ruidusborn.
SAM: What are you?
LAURA: She's everything.
SAM: She is everything.
ASHLEY: I am a multitude.
LAURA: She's an emperor.
ASHLEY: I'm an emperor, I am a professor, I am... everything, anything you need.
TALIESIN: Gold medalist.
MATT: You know in The Simpsons, when they talk about how Mr Burns stays alive because he just has every disease and they cancel each other out? Fearne has just gotten herself involved with every sort of weird faction of magic in Exandria and they all come for her at once and go, "Huh, this is complicated."
MARISHA: Do you still have a ghost pirate boyfriend that you can summon?
ASHLEY: Yeah.
LAURA: I don't think she can summon him.
ASHLEY: I can't summon him, but I do have a boon. I have his essence.
MATT: You do have his essence. You are such a complicated...
ASHLEY: I just like making friends.
LAURA: And I'm pretty sure you're going to bone everybody in this group eventually.
ASHLEY: I said I probably would.
MARISHA: Like the "rocky road" of D&D characters.
ASHLEY: I know.
SAM: You started at the top.
LIAM: I have a predilection.
TRAVIS: If we use the funnel to suck in the green crystal, that means we potentially could get a permanent extra 9th level spell?
TALIESIN: Something like that.
LAURA: Maybe.
TRAVIS: It has nine slots?
ROBBIE: I think if Laudna loses anything from being separated from Delilah--
LAURA: That would be [JENGA] half.
ROBBIE: Then it would be like Delilah in a box.
LAURA: But I think we should save the battery just in case.
LIAM: Help me out, because I don't understand magic. Are we trying to rip her off of you and shove her in a--
LAURA: Put her in a necklace.
LIAM: But you carry the anchor? Or we throw the anchor in a pocket dimension?
LAURA: We keep the anchor.
MATT: The interesting about your and Delilah's relationship, as far as you're aware, is that you still exist because she's in you.
MARISHA: Yeah. I'm dead.
MATT: And she still exists because she's in you.
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: To remove her, you theorize, would end you.
MARISHA: I would die.
TRAVIS: Not a big deal.
ASHLEY: That's what I thought, when you were [JENGA] wait.
LAURA: But you said you could survive without her, to Essek.
TRAVIS: Yeah, but what about Molaesmyr?
MATT: That caught him off guard, man. When you said Molaesmyr, he was like...
LIAM: "That's my safe word."
SAM: "I've got to change my ATM password."
MARISHA: Wait, did I say I could live without her?
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: I think you responded that way, but you may have made just a--
MARISHA: I was meaning like, I think I would still have power outside of her, I just don't know how much.
MATT: I see what you're saying.
SAM: The goal is to bind her and carry her around with Laudna.
LAURA: So that--
SAM: IN Laudna? On Laudna?
MARISHA: She's like Tony Stark.
MATT: That's actually a pretty good analogy.
TALIESIN: Just shove it in the ribcage.
LAURA: I love how you were like, I said it, and you were like, "You're so clever," and then I said the completely wrong thing and went like, I'm not clever. That's clever.
MATT: That's pretty danged clever, honestly.
MARISHA: Iron Man this?
MATT: Yeah, if you guys had destroyed the soul anchor in the fight with Dominox, too, then this would just be gone.
ROBBIE: That wouldn't be an option.
MATT: Yeah. This is really cool. If it works.
ROBBIE: It'll work.
MATT: We'll see.
LAURA: So it would be like she's trapped in a little spot inside of you and she can't break out of that.
TALIESIN: Or like the necklace for a Trinket, basically. She's sort of like in a prison and--
MARISHA: Ooh, like Vision? I just want to be all the Marvel heroes at once!
MATT: I am the Avenger! Yeah, if it succeeds, there could be some unique new dynamics in your relationship with Delilah Briarwood.
ROBBIE: (to Sam) I wasn't doing like this. I was just thinking about your massive flail.
LAURA: Your massive boobs?
ROBBIE: But you don't kill her. You bind her instead. How-- does your dual existence hinge on you occupying the same space or just the same dimensional proximity, or...
MARISHA: I don't know.
TALIESIN: --discover that, I suppose.
ROBBIE: That's a gamble, right?
MARISHA: Matt's going to be like, "Okay, I need you to make a roll, and you to roll, and--"
LAURA: Yeah, maybe a ritual roll--
MATT: Man, I'm just getting trashed all episode. I know I am. That was crazy! You watched me do that shit! I'm like, a couple, okay, that's a good roll. And after the fourth one, I'm like, "God, I don't know what to tell you guys."
LAURA: It was always that same dice?
MATT: Yeah, it's this little red dice that I use.
LAURA: That's really pretty.
MATT: It's really pretty.
LAURA: It's like the Golden Snitch.
ASHLEY: It is the dice, Travis.
MATT: I know. That's why I did it.
MARISHA: But if this goes bad, should I--
SAM: Have another character.
MARISHA: Have another character just in case-ies?
MATT: Maybe?
TRAVIS: If you die, in Campaign 3, you don't get [JENGA].
LIAM: Ludinus made me so mad.
ASHLEY: Me too.
LIAM: So mad. What a motherfucker.
MARISHA: But your boyfriend over here likes him. That's gonna be juicy.
LIAM: He wouldn't like it if his parents and his siblings were killed by the dude to do his shit.
ROBBIE: They weren't. They were killed by the fucking gods.
LAURA: No. What? They were killed by Ludinus.
ROBBIE: The guy who wants to kill the gods.
LAURA: That's an interesting way to look at it.
ROBBIE: It's the only way I can look at it. I love the people but I'm fundamentally opposed to the idea. Sorry.
MATT: Conflict.
TALIESIN: I'm so curious about this, then, because this is--
LAURA: But Predathos is not the answer. Predathos is going to--
ASHLEY: No, it's not! I know!
LAURA: --kill us all.
SAM: Maybe it is.
ROBBIE: Why not?
TALIESIN: We don't actually know that. Honest to god, we don't actually-- I agree, it's a gamble, and I don't know if that gamble is a great idea, but we don't know.
LIAM: Do you know what it is? It's the Oppenheimer moment. I forget the numbers, it's a percentage that this will destroy everything. And you can't promise me that it won't. So you're going to roll those dice?
ROBBIE: But we just watched proof that the gods can and will, if given the opportunity-- that's the part that scares me.
LAURA: I don't think they did. They wouldn't wipe out everything. The gods wouldn't wipe out everything.
TALIESIN: I literally went to war because a bunch of them wanted to. And still want to.
ROBBIE: To me, that's a guarantee. I don't know.
TALIESIN: Literally, the family that they called truce with, literally we watched them grab somebody like a marionette and pull them and contort them. There's a few of them that literally just want to murder us all. And Etch-a-Sketch the fucking planet.
LIAM: Yeah, but that's like saying that there have been a few mortals on the planet who have done the unthinkable, like terrible terrible things, to many people--
LAURA: Did Travis leave?
MARISHA: He had to pee, yeah.
LAURA: Oh, it wasn't like we're done.
SAM: He rage quit.
ROBBIE: Philosophy!
MATT: I would like to rage quit!
SAM: What about Molaesmyr!?
MARISHA: In Aeor, there was the four prime deities-- five?
LAURA: In what?
MARISHA: Of you. Fuck. In Downfall.
LIAM: Including the Knowing Mistress there were five Primes.
MARISHA: Five Primes and three Betrayers.
MATT: Five Primes and a representative of a sixth.
SAM: And a seventh.
MATT: And a seventh.
LIAM: And The Emissary was the rep.
MARISHA: I was just wondering... there's eight of us, if it's a one-for-one.
SAM: One Betrayer and seven real Primes?
MARISHA: I think it is a very wide spectrum and we're all somewhere else on it.
MATT: Which makes me feel accomplished.
LIAM: Orym's not super pro-god.
MARISHA: But on the spectrum, you're probably like the furthest.
LIAM: For sure, the furthest down the road, but it's more about the ecosystem of the world. I just think that Ludinus cannot guarantee that he's not going to wreck everything.
MARISHA: No.
ASHLEY: No way he can.
ROBBIE: It's already wrecked. If the scales are that tilted in the favor of the gods' power, for me it's already wrecked. I like Ludinus' idea of leaving the scales and taking your own destiny for humanity.
LAURA: But think about the demons that would be unleashed if the gods were gone. Those guys were here before the gods. The demons would still be here.
MARISHA: They get Pac Manned, or it would be like, you can go.
TALIESIN: We're going to hit this button, or you run away right now.
ROBBIE: Would you rather go back to swords and shield, or get rid of nuclear bombs? For me, send me back to swords and shields. At least it's a fair fight.
LAURA: There's plenty of arcane abilities that have nothing to do with the gods.
TALIESIN: Obviously--
ROBBIE: They're so OP.
MATT: In fact, arcane abilities were gifted by the gods. The Arch Heart.
LAURA: [JENGA] take them away, though. If the gods went away, arcane abilities would go away.
MATT: No. Even divine power wouldn't go away, because that stuff also pre-existed. Just the particular source would vanish.
ROBBIE: Are gods like Tinkerbell? If we don't believe and clap, do they diminish in power?
LAURA: Yeah.
TALIESIN: They do.
ROBBIE: A lot? So that was Ludinus' primary weapon, then? Is that what he thinks?
TALIESIN: He has other weapons.
LAURA: Ludinus thinks he can eat them up. That would have been a smarter thing for him to do, just destroy--
ROBBIE: He was really into that idea of being like, here's the new media blast. The gods are dickheads. Let's weaken them enough--
SAM: He took the broadcast, right?
TALIESIN: I think that information will weaken the gods monstrously. Not the Betrayers, I imagine, because anybody who's still working with them is like, yeah, I would assume, but --
ROBBIE: What if it's also like that Homelander moment, too, where you see the fallacy of the gods and it's exposed, and half the people go, "Yeah! Who fucking cares? You're still the gods!" We worship bad people. Why wouldn't we worship bad gods?
ASHLEY: That is very true.
TALIESIN: It is a crucible for the soul of the planet.
LAURA: There's so much to talk about.
ROBBIE: All this was so hard to say in front of Ludinus. I was so intimidated, I was like... okay.
LAURA: You're so cute.
TALIESIN: He's so hot right now. Ludinus is so hot right now.
LAURA: He is a hot old elf.
ROBBIE: And it was hard to talk to him. He's so self-assured.
MARISHA: Charismatic, baby. Well, I hope I don't die next week.
MATT: I hope so too. We'll see where it goes.